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Your comments of the week shortly, but first I must point out a very important update on Luann: The Musical! When last we checked in, it was still at the staged reading point in its evolution, but sometime in the last 21 months it has been unleashed upon hapless high school drama departments everywhere! If you want to hear the songs and see photos from actual productions of this thing, by all means check out the site. Thanks to faithful reader Jake Morgendorffer for the tip!

And now, that promised comment of the week!

“I never would have guess that Gil Thorp having a prison scene in which a prisoner yells out, ‘Drill him Daley’ would be less obscene than Zits mocking Love Is and yet there it is.” –Rob

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Adrian, I’ve met someone else. Her name is Sister Morphine. She turns my nightmares into dreams, and I love her. Now can you call that Doctor What’s-His-Name, the one without a face? I’m having trouble peeing.” –Morten Jonsson

“So Jamaal is an ex basketball player. Who knew? Someone should tell Bentley that basketball players are usually tall because they have long legs and torsos, not long heads.” –Saluki

“Once again, we beg to disagree. Miss Thompson has plenty of dignity. More dignity in fact, than is good for her. What she doesn’t have is fun. Spontaneity. Imagination. Creativity. If Miss Thompson were any more dignified she would be eighty years old.” –Fashion Police

“Dignity is akin to virginity: once you’ve lost it, you can’t get it back. Remember this, Tommie, and well. At least you’ve still got the one.” –Dingo

“She is her father’s daughter after all. In the sense that she’s committed herself romantically to what essentially amounts to a corpse.” –Violet

“‘Without regret’? Excuse me, but isn’t this the same Adrian who can’t stop talking about/obsessing over her last boyfriend, the con artist, even as she sits vigil at the potential deathbed of her current boyfriend? And then, of course, there’s the whole ‘Can I think about this proposal a little longer, as you go off to risk your life? I’ll tell you afterward’ scheme, which didn’t work out so great. Regret is Adrian’s primary emotion. And with good reason.” –Mollie

“I want to have a dog that perpetually has this facial expression. I could call him ‘ennui.'” –DamienBixlan

“‘And it’s also lunchtime at a certain minimum-security prison!’ is something I’m now going to blurt whenever it’s lunchtime. Or any other time, for that matter, ’cause somewhere in the world, it’s lunchtime in prison, certainly.” –Kibo

“I wouldn’t want to be the janitor at ‘McGooey’s’.” –troy macgregor

“I assume that through their use of monochrome and extreme angles, the artists for Gil Thorp are trying to tap into the same feel as 1940s noir films. Unfortunately for them, Jimmy Stewart never had a hand protruding from somewhere near his waist, nor did Sidney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre high-five douchily after misleading Humphrey Bogart.” –Deathbysalmon

“You can tell that the prison in Gil Thorp is minimum security because it has a well-polished black onyx floor. Fancy!” –Patrick

“That looks far less like a high-five and more like highschool kid number 2 looking on as someone feverishly prays, perhaps for anatomy that makes sense.” –It’s time to pay the price

“So that high five in Gil Thorp isn’t douchy so much as it is just terribly pathetic. I mean, is there anything more sad than getting a high five for lying after not going to a volleyball game? When I was in high school you got high fives for lying after not getting laid.” –GG

“Whew, Adrian survived the first trial of their relationship: 10 hours of unconsciousness. Will her love now withstand the bedpan?” –Ichi

“God, Tommie is devastating hot in panel two there. There’s a cynical, androgynous beauty there that I Dressed in the Dark is sure to snuff out rather than embrace. All she needs to become my ideal woman is to start smoking, get into chicks (again?) and develop a personality.” –notapipe

“Does anyone else find it hilarious for someone to say ‘Hey! Watch out!’ during a prison riot? Is there really a guy in prison who worries about the safety protocols of these moments?” –the coatrack

“‘I was just showing her where the bathroom is.’ Apparently Toni got sick the first time she saw Brad naked. Can’t say I blame her.” –cheech wizard

“I’m confused. Is Crankshaft rattling off a list of location-specific weather phenomena, or the colloquial titles of perverse sex acts? He may well be ready for the Saskatchewan Snowjob, but you can’t ever truly prepare yourself for a Winnipeg Windjammer.” –Caroline

“Adrian goes down the path of any engaged woman. ‘This line seems LOOKATMYRING fine.'” –Dragon of Life

“‘Where there is great love, there are always miracles.’ Aldo Kelrast believed in that quote at one time, but fat lot of good it did him.” –Red Greenback

“Just frozen dinners and beer. Surely this strip is taking a hard look at the need for nutritional awareness among returning POWs who have been cuckolded by comic-book-hawkers.” –gleeb

“Alcoholism! Of all the sadness in FW, I think I love it best.” –Sallie Melcher

Big thanks to everyone who put cash in my tip jar! And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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For once, there’s no further ado … just this week’s top comment.

“I don’t think the Luann writers understand that ‘risotto’ is not just ‘what the gays call rice.'” –teddytoad

And the almost-as-funny runners up!

“I’ve only read Mark Trail for a few months but the sneaky ball cap on Mr. Trail in the first panel — COME ON! It’s as unnatural as making your pets wear clothes. What’s next, a soul patch? Oh, I’m watching you, Elrod.” –Orange Cactus

“Jamaal, you’re my best friend and I value our time together, but can we save the food critique for a time when I’m not being molested by a giant disembodied Jheri-Curl?” –Chyron HR

“I’m highly skeptical of the idea that Crankshaft would even for a moment balk at either hacking something up with a giant knife or participating in an activity the ultimate goal of which is to terrify children.” –Violet

“Nothing builds a sense of community like everyone in the neighborhood gathering round to lynch the couple who gave you loose bowel movements.” –Laocoon

“Crankshaft: ‘What time is it?’ Lady: ‘Five o’clock.’ Crankshaft: ‘Fuck you.'” –Red Greenback describes pretty much every Crankshaft ever published

“Pam’s tragic optimism in panel one just kills me. I mean, just stone cold kills me dead. She cheerfully and enthusiastically asks her father if he wants to carve jack-o-lanterns, hoping he’ll say — what? Perhaps: ‘I’d love to, darling! I realize I was a complete prick as a father, and I can never hope to make up for the damage I’ve done to your self-image, but I hope it’s not too late to show you some of the affection I cruelly withheld from you for decades.’ The only way the ‘shaft would ever say that, though, is in sarcasm. Good god, Pam. You’re holding a knife. What are you waiting for?” –Joe Blevins

“I love Bobbie: strung out on her addiction and weary from attempts at emotionally manipulating people she cares nothing for, she still remembers to think ‘whom’. She may be a goofball fiend but she has breeding.” –Cliff Arroyo

“A stint in the Foreign Legion will teach young Cory some discipline. Why not send him off to Crock? It’ll improve both strips.” –Mooncattie

“See, say what you want about Lynn Johnston, but it’s her flying in the face of the gag strips’ general disregard for week-to-week continuity that makes her a treasure. If Herb & Jamaal were so honest it would have to henceforth be called Jamaal & the Guy with the Horribly Scalded and Disfigured Bozac.” –Edgy DC

“The Mommy Wars have made it to Hootin’ Holler. Soon every strip will be about the competition to get Junior into the best one-room schoolhouse the barter-system can buy.” –Mollie

“I think the Spider-Man strip would be a lot better if the next several ones were just actual pages from The Dog in The Fog. And then Spider-Man is defeated by a lead pipe at the end.” –Gnoll

In response to the proposal that Luann and Gunther dress as each other for Halloween: “I dunno, I don’t think even the most exquisitely crafted costume could capture the sheer horror that is Gunther. Or disguise it.” –commodorejohn

“A fiber optic jack-o-lantern? What, are we Episcopalian now?” –PoeWar

“‘And just to show you your little girl’s safe … I downloaded the new iStalk app for my 2-inch-thick iPhone so I can watch everything she does.’ ‘I like this book even better than the other one, Mr. Foghorn. But why are you pointing that camera at my face?’ ‘Stop asking questions. Shut up and read your crappy fake Dr. Seuss books! You’re not paying me enough for this, Bigshot!'” –Bob

“Am I the only one who thinks that it’s horrible that the Sandman’s daughter is called ‘Sandy’? Because that’s horrible.” –AndyL

“It’s fitting that the only porn in the Foobiverse consists of be-wigged muppets.” –yellojkt

“I realize that most of us view the Keanes as a medieval-minded cult of reactionaries, but I have to say that I’m impressed by the amount of obvious trust they’re placing in Billy by arming him with that scythe.” –Alan’s Addiction

“Bobbie, there aren’t enough symbols on the keyboard to describe how badly you need a makeover.” –NoahSnark

“Rocky, on a 10-minute break from his job at the nuclear power plant, talks to his life partner on the phone. They have a small tiff based mainly on Rocky’s insecurities about a horse, which is possibly a euphemism for erectile dysfunction.” –MolyBendum

“Why is Billy dressed as the ghost of Flava Flav?” –Stij

And we must of course give thanks to our advertisers:

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To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

Post Content

Your comment of the week shortly, but first, a few items! You may have heard that several cartoonists, including the odd couple of Stephan Pastis and Jeff Keane, recently travelled to Iraq to visit U.S. troops there. Well, one of said troops, faithful reader MolyBendum, got to chat with the former (if not the latter). If you missed his report in the comments, check it out!

Also! I received the following intriguing note from faithful reader David Shea:

I stumbled across a discarded poster today, and I thought you might be interested in seeing it. It depicts Mark Trail in his usual outdoorsy pose, and Andy, or perhaps a tuft of grass, suggests that you should attend the Corn Tassel Festival in Gainesville.

The Gainesville in question is Georgia’s, where a crafts festival has been held annually since 1966. The festival was renamed in 1993 when someone someone bothered to look up the namesake, George “Corn” Tassel, and found out that his greatest claim to fame was being hung for killing a dude in 1830. The case involves some legal sketchiness, since the Cherokee Nation probably had jurisdiction and Georgia hung George while things were being appealed, but still, no one wants that downer at their crafts festival, and it’s now known as the Mule Camp Market. Either way: Mark Trail.

And! Faithful reader Nigerian Business Executive sent me a link to this hilarious collection of comics mashups, which I had somehow missed.

And now it’s that time again … time for … COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I imagine the phrase ‘Don’t worry, Tommie. You won’t win’ plays over and over in her head pretty much constantly. Having someone say it out loud is just redundant.” –BigTed

And the runners-up! Also hilarious!

“The thing that really annoys me about Slylock Fox, as well as Encyclopedia Brown, for that matter, is that all you have to do to solve a mystery is catch the disreputable-looking character in a lie. ‘Rodney Rat wasn’t retrieving repellent, he was stealing money.’ I mean, really. He could have any number of embarrassing reasons for being out of his tent. ‘Actually, Slylock, I was masturbating.’ ‘Actually, Mr. Fox, I was trying to get the lady-duck over there to do some videos for my new foot-fetish site, Web of Lies.‘” –teddytoad

“Slylock wearing a suit, deerstalker cap, and a cape even in the desert? Total prick move. You’re not a superhero. You’re not even a lawman. You have no badge or license. You’re a rat-persecuting maniac, who trails Reeky and Rodney across the world, blaming every crime in a ten-mile radius on them. No wonder they’re reduced to living in tents.” –Strangefate

“I, for one, would like to know why the rabbit man is about to hand Rodney Rat a pair of trousers.” –ArtisticPlatypus

“I noticed today that Leroy Lockhorn’s feet are at least as long as his legs. Given these freakish new proportions (ultra short legs, rotund shape, giant nose, etc.), I can only assume that Leroy is secretly The Penguin. This can only improve the comic, as repeated guest appearances by Batman, increased explosions, and testing the latest umbrella-weapon on Loretta have vast entertainment potential.” –Alan’s Addiction

“After Tommie gets her makeover on I Dressed In the Dark, she’ll be ready to co-star in Margo’s new reality series, I Really Deserve a Punch In the Throat.” –Patrick

“Tommie needs the more intensive makeover offered by I Will Die Alone Then Be Eaten By My Dozens Of Cats.” –Ed Dravecky

“Reveal: I Dressed In the Dark will turn out not to be a makeover show. It’s a hard-hitting documentary about street people, and the producers have been humoring Ruby in the belief that she is queen of the hobos.” –Tim Cavanaugh

“I can’t believe that Cathy did something meta. Now meta has been ruined for everyone.” –Nekrotzar

“I am looking carefully at panel three and admiring the evidence that even campfire smoke obeys Mark’s mighty will. At ordinary campfires, smoke insists on rising and even gets in people’s eyes. This smoke, not wanting to be punched, cowers low.” –Poteet

“The only reality show Ruby and Tommie should audition for is I Dressed Under the Full Glare of Florescent Lighting.” –Victoria Dunn

“When I see someone with outspread arms, an expression of agony, and a glow around his head, I assume I’m looking at a crucifix. Duncan’s other big secret, apparently, is that he is the Son of God, dying for the sins of the world. I am baffled by this plotline.” –sarahtheawesome

“I love the jump to the third panel, where Gil is relating the conversation to Mrs. Thorp. ‘So he’s all, I’m laying bare my emotional distress to you, blah blah, my brother’s in jail and I cry all the time, waaaah. Poor kid, right? It’s all he can think about and absolutely no one gives a shit. Especially not me.'” –Mollie

“Ruby says Tommie’s clothes are ‘just’ boring. Just? Ruby, honey, Tommie’s got boring down to an art. She took a vow of extreme boring many years ago and has been a faithful practitioner ever since. She’s a professional bore-meister. If Tommie suddenly stripped naked and started humping the sofa arm, the only notice anyone would take is to straighten the doily.” –Farley’s Revenge

“I’m not entirely convinced that Duncan’s brother is actually incarcerated. To me, it looks more like Duncan is just experimenting with a new, hip alternative to the classic ‘In my pants’ joke, leading to some wacky misunderstandings when people take him seriously — IN PRISON!” –yuudai

“Why do I find Bernice sexy? Because she is unattainable? I better discuss this with my therapist later.” –LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL

“I like Gil’s dim awareness of Duncan’s family situation. ‘Davey, right? I have vague memories of fucking up another Daley’s life six or seven years ago. It’s all a blur. Every year, they come to me poised at the brink of manhood, loaded with testosterone, and highly vulnerable to bad decisions. I should try and help steer them, but I’ve got the playdowns to worry about. Speaking of which, Dunc, how’d you like to kill Marty Moon for me?'” –Edgy DC

“Why is Ziggy even in the hospital in the first place? He looks fine. And by ‘fine,’ I mean more or less how I would assume a squat, bald dwarf with no pants on should look.” –Indichik

“What the heck kind of a prison is that? Karate prison?” –the good ship thetis

“Lousy joke aside, I am glad Ziggy is finally addressing his anal leakage problem. As is every one else who rides the bus.” –NoahSnark

“Duncan Daley is clearly exploiting his brother’s predicament as a path to realizing his bicurious identical twins fantasy. Croquet indeed, boys; break out those mallets! Meanwhile, Jailbird Daley provokes a guy who regrets patronizing Prince Valiant’s barber.” –Jessie

“Mud? In Dennis the Menace? Oh, I wish that were mud, but we both know that’s not true.” –Victor Von

“I like the fact that in deference to the elderly (the last demographic on Earth who read Rex Morgan non-ironically) the narration box refers to the escapees as an ‘older’ couple, rather than using a more straightforward terms such as ‘old,’ ‘cogerish,’ or ‘overly entitled Alzheimer-crazed gatecrashers.'” –Jake Morgendorffer

“Just so everyone’s clear, Mark refers to his left and right fist as ‘The Rangers.'” –Digger

“I was so taken with the new FW mission statement in panel three that it took me all day to realize that I don’t really give shit what happens to Cory.” –C. Havoc

Three cheers for everyone who put cash into my tip jar! And cheers also to my advertisers:

• Nice Jewish Guys: It’s a 2010 calendar. What’s not to like?
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• Advertise your t-shirts here: Find out more about the BlogAds t-shirt hive! Connect with young adults eager to sport your shirts! Reaching a tremendously expansive audience at a very low cost, the BlogAds T-Shirt Hive is comprised of a well-rounded set of over 30 social media elite blogs, who speak to a young hip male and female audience of clothing enthusiasts. These readers are seeking back to school threads, everyday wear and tear shirts, and any clothes that are stylish or humorous.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.