Archive: metaposts

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Three items of interest for you in this early hour metapost! First up is the most exciting (to me, anyway): Next Tuesday, July 22, your humble blogger will be appearing on the game show Jeopardy! Will it be the first installment in an epic Ken Jennings-style saga of money-winning, or will I flame out ignominiously on the first try? Does Alex Trebek secretly share my love of Rex Morgan, M.D.? Do I at least wear a nice tie? Tune in to find out! The show is syndicated, so check your local listings for time and channel. And, if you happen to live in Baltimore or not too terribly far from it, feel free to join me and my friends as we watch the show. We’ll be at P.J.’s Pub at 3333 N. Charles St. in Charles Village — right across the street from Hopkins Homewood campus and next door to Barnes and Noble. In Baltimore the show starts at 7 p.m., but we’ll be gathering starting at 6 p.m. for pizza and booze!

Item two! You may have noticed this comment from Sally Forth scribe Ces Marciuliano in the previous thread, but I’m highlighting it here for those who haven’t:

Just wanted to let you know that for one week, July 28-August 2 (with a Sunday strip on August 24), I will be taking over art and writing duties for Bizarro thanks to the kindness of the strip’s creator Dan Piraro, who took time off to fight crime or whatever it is he does when he dons a cape and cowl, jumps out his apartment window and says, “Don’t wait up.”

The strip will still appear under the name Bizarro but will feature my own comics and the URL for my webcomic Medium Large (medium-large.com, which is still in what we web designers like to call the “unmitigated disaster” phase of construction). Those familiar with the Medium Large archives will no doubt recognize some of the strips. Those familiar with Dan’s sheer mastery of the comic strip art form and his unique brand of hilarity will no doubt be disappointed (as you can clearly see, I have yet to get a firm grasp on self-promotion despite years as a copywriter and a therapy patient).

Dan will also be reviewing each strip the day of publication on his blog, where he will surely pepper his critiques of my comics with such bon mots as “mere dilettante,” “a national disgrace,” and “this bastard has ruined me.”

This is the first time Dan has used a guest cartoonist in the history of his strip. By the end of my run we’ll see if it will be his last.

I’d just like to add that anything that will prompt Ces to actually put the brilliant archives of Medium Large back online (and maybe even start making new ones!), and distract him from constantly, feverishly thinking about Ted and Sally “practic[ing] making a baby,” is very much a good thing.

Finally, here’s a note I received that will hopefully be of interest to one of you:

Throughout Comic-Con in San Diego next week, Andrew Feinstein (who writes/draws the comic strip Girls & Sports) in conjunction with Dogmatic Films is filming a documentary about the experience from the perspective of several attendees. In addition to showcasing the cultural phenomenon that Comic-Con has become through interviews with celebrities, industry executives, comic book store owners, costumed veterans, first timers, and so on, we will be following several attendees throughout the convention. Like many Comic-Con attendees, our main subjects are either looking to be discovered or are hoping to discover something new for themselves.

We have lined up most of our participants, but are actively looking for a young artist who is bringing his/her portfolio to be reviewed by DC Comics, Marvel, etc, in hopes of getting a job as an artist. Secondly, we are also looking for someone with an independent comic book hoping to get it picked up by a bigger publisher or attract a wider audience.

In addition, if you’re an industry executive, comic book store owner, professional artist, and so on, we’d love to interview you. One of our cameras will be dedicated for these interviews, so we can accommodate your schedule at the convention.

If you or someone you know would be interested in this exciting project, please email us at: dogmaticfilms@gmail.com and we will arrange to meet at the convention. Thank you!

This could be your big break, people! Or at least your chance to be in a movie.

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COTW in a moment, but first another exciting photo of a reader in Comics Curmudgeon gear! Today we have faithful reader Gold-Digging Nanny, she of I Found All Six fame, seen here on a very scenic boat ride.

She reports:

We went camping on the Upper Payette Lake over the Fourth of July weekend. We did some hiking and canoeing. I saw a few deer, an osprey, snakes, toads, and Slylock, who wandered into our campground briefly one morning and, we believe, returned the next morning to rummage through our garbage, presumably for clues … As you can see, I took the AJGLU 3000 with me. I brought a computer battery pack for it, but I’m afraid I only got error messages about an “incompatible power supply” and something to do with gerbil wheels.

And now, what you’ve all been waiting for … the comment of the week!

I think I’ll make scampi! See, motherfuckers? I’m this boring, and yet you still read me every day!” –Edward

As you can see, this was a particularly COTW-candidate-rich week:

“I understand that the Vulture’s got some type of anti-gravity gadget and that he wears feathers and a beak and all, but what exactly makes him a super-villain and so difficult for the police to handle? Is it that he inadvertently induces laughing fits? Do the cops start feeling like they’re battling a character from Sesame Street or some Mardi Gras dancer? Are they concerned he might regurgitate armadillo parts all over them?” –PeteMoss

“So one well-documented dinner, two missed ones, and we are at ‘take care of yourself (because I won’t)’? Wow. Not only does Ron ‘not like seafood’ — he doesn’t even want to ‘try the veal.'” –Mel

“I think TJ is a stripper. I would certainly explain the wild outfits and cheery outlook.” –Smash

“I’m beginning to think that Mary Worth is actually Marxist agitprop meant to reveal the disconnected emotional emptiness that necessarily comes from slavish devotion to bourgeois morality. Meanwhile, today’s Gil Thorp (having shed its Brechtian distancing devices in favor a ‘tranche de vie’ naturalism) captures all the energy and excitement of watching baseball on TV. No, I’m not being ironic.” –denny

“Mary Worth: ‘Oh no! I’m being forced to make a decision!’ [CITY COUNCIL EX MACHINA] Mary Worth: ‘Never mind!'” –monsieurjohn

“So is this it for the Mary Worth storyline? After weeks of absurdly improbable newspaper articles, emergency town council meetings, apologetic answering machine messages, mournful thought-ballooning in empty apartments, and, finally, elaborate plans not to go to a seafood restaurant, all we’re left with is ‘Take care of yourself?’ Talk about phoning it in. At least Ron’s mother bit it before she had to sit through a month of Mary Worth’s life.” –Blynneda

“You know, I think Ted Forth just might be the virile love machine he says he is. He has the makings. He’s curious, willing to play with toys, not at all self conscious, open to new ideas and most likely very grateful. I could see him as a power bottom. It’s just the weeping afterwards that would turn most people off.” –Gabacho

“‘Seafood scampi’ = Tuna casserole + a dash of RealLemon + McCormick parsley flakes on top.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“I’m not sure what Jeff is doing now, Mary, but it’s probably 19 and ends in an ‘i.'” –gkl

“Maybe it’s just me, but I enjoyed reading the last panel of FOOB on its own, out of context. If there is a community creating hot gay FOOB fanfic out there somewhere, this panel will be their Abbey Road cover.” –glassonion

“I’ve read the first decade of the Spider-Man comic book. It was hilarious and action-packed, with Peter struggling with all these normal-guy problems AND supervillains at the same time. I particularly remember one where he had to fight Doc Ock, but his suit didn’t fit and his mask kept threatening to fall off … Anyway, newspaper Spider-Man is obviously trying to recreate those days, but they’ve only heard about them second-hand and don’t have any idea how to pull it off. It’s like if somebody heard the Marx Brothers were funny, so they dug up Karl Marx’s moldering corpse and filmed it yelling at the TV.” –Froborr

“What impresses me most about Mary Worth is its chilling ability to make me never want sex again. On certain occasions, it has even made me want to go back and undo all the sex I ever had before.” –Poteet

“I think Anthony’s decision to address John as ‘Dr. P’ is an attempt to Fonzie up his image. Sure, we all know that on his best day he could barely aspire to Potsie, but a man can dream, and so can Anthony. Look for him to start calling April ‘Shortcake’ and responding to all inquiries with his new catchphrase ‘whatever-you-say-a-mundo.’ Fonzie’s trademark double-thumbs-up ‘AYYYYYY!’ will be replaced by ‘eh’ and a barely perceptible shrug.” –Violet

“Unless you want Elly to rip your lungs out, John, and Anthony, if you ever wanna see Liz naked ever, you should both go in and at least offer to help with the wedding. Now, I know, I know, you’ll both screw it up and the women will say, ‘Oh, here, let me do it,’ just like when you make love, but at least this way, they won’t go into an insane rage.” –Jamus The Bartender

“I asked her how she found this place, and she said, ‘I did a Google search for Mary Worth, Old, and Ugly.’” –Cedar, on discovering that her mother was a Comics Curmudgeon reader

“Roger’s a born minion, following the shrieked commands of a deformed lunatic straight into the jaws of death. If this Kelly Welly gig doesn’t work out, he could hire on with Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Or Skeletor.” –Uncle Lumpy

“If used correctly, that oversized portrait of ‘Crankshaft-as-Stalinist-dictator’ could be a most potent form of birth control. Look, if you dare, at that grim visage for a minute. Can’t you feel your sperm count dropping, your ovaries shriveling up, your very will to live — let alone procreate — evaporating utterly? Such is the power of the ’shaft.” –Joe Blevins

“While I did have to check Wikipedia to determine what teal and lavender looked like, I can now confirm that the wedding will resemble the corpse of Easter.” –Foobar

And hey, tip-jar-money-putter-inners, have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do, I do! And I also must give love to my advertisers:

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In what’s becoming a somewhat disturbing trend, I’ve once again been offered a chance to pontificate on the radio, this time on XM sattelite radio, and this time related to my political-cartoon-mocking gig over at Wonkette. At 4:45 p.m. eastern or thereabouts, I will be on the show “1600”, which is on channel 130 (aka “POTUS ’08”), talking about the Foreigns and their political cartoons, or something. (If you don’t have XM, you can go here and sign up for a free trial.) POTUS ’08 is dedicated to covering the nightmare that is the presidential race 24 hours a day, so you can see why it’s only July and they’ve already reached the dire state of having someone talk about drawings on the radio.

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