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As Monday draws to a close, why not kick back and relax with this week’s top comment?

“I think my favorite thing about the last two MT strips has been the incessant apologizing. ‘Oh, I’m so SORRY that I have to kick your door down.’ ‘No, I’M sorry that you had to break into my house.’ ‘Oh, no, I’M sorry that I have to punch you in the face.’ I would say that they’re being ironic. But in a world where little girls can catch illness of the puppy, I just don’t believe that irony has been invented yet.” –A New Day

And then pour down some icy cold COTW runners-up?

“I think it’s hilarious that the hopeless degenerate Haley’s idea of drug-fueled mayhem is the absurdly wholesome suggestion to ‘go look at the art.’ It’s clear why Alan is so outraged; he’s all, ‘No, let’s go to the nursing home and read to visually impaired seniors!'” –Violet

“I also like the fact that, in addition to them not using drug lingo or real drug paraphernalia, neither one of them appears to actually be high.” –20 Miles From the City

“Hey, Mark? Ever hear of a little something called a ‘search warrant’? Or ‘home invasion’? Or ‘knocking’?” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick

“‘I’m sure you did a great job, Mary — as always!’ = ‘Will you please shut the fuck up about this?'” –cheech wizard

“What intrigues me is how polite Mark is. It’s like he’s the Amy Vanderbilt of tough guys. He certainly has her ankles.” –gh

“Before we dismiss the lackluster denounment of the pot-dealing neighbors, remember the wonderful arc of strips with Abbey and the yellow room — the only instance in which paint drying wasn’t just exciting, but erotic.” –Little Guy

“Blood Cargo really is a great title, though. It’s the only thing in this strip that remotely has any life to it. Or possibly ravenous zombie pirate un-life.” –SFMarcus

“Am I the only one that thinks that Ruby might be Lu Ann’s real mother? Am I the only one that cares? No, wait. I don’t care either.” –mafketis

“Whoever was wondering how Lynn could possibly continue greasing the plot wheels, look no further than the oil reserve trapped in Weed’s hair. That boy’s scalp looks like the Middle East. And I’m not just saying that because I dream of him and Michael getting hit with a missile, although, wink.” –RaJ

“I don’t know if that puppy is housebroken, but Mark had better be sure that he’s shirtbroken.” –Tom Bombadil

“Oh, Jeff. Do NOT get between the woman and her meddling. It’ll be like those bear attack videos when some dumb camper thinks it would be cute to hug a bear cub. I smell a mauling in the wind … a mauling of sensible advice, that is.” –rocketbride

“As cartoon Chevalier impersonators go, I still prefer Pepe Le Pew. Sexual harassment notwithstanding, at least he doesn’t have glistening wonky eyes and a sheepish fanged grin that makes him look like he is about to devour your face, but feels bad about it.” –Sharona

“I’m actually reasonably curious to see what becomes of this twist in the Mary Worth storyline. I think that means I’m ready to be euthanized.” –monsieurjohn

As usual on this day of the week, we must give a big sloppy kiss (MWAH!) to everyone who puts a little bit of scratch in the tip jar!

And finally, we must give it up for our advertisers:

• The Mole: The sabotage begins Monday, June 2nd, 10/9 central, on ABC.
• The world-famous laugh factory: A fixture on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip for 28 years! All the legends of modern standup comedy have graced our stage, including Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, Paul Rodriguez, Dave Chappelle, George Lopez, and more.
• The secrets of the quest: The quest is under way. Some puzzles have been solved, but greater challenge lies ahead. Show resolve, and you could find great reward. $100,000 in treasure awaits. Join if you dare. Many will try. One will succeed.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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You all of course remember faithful reader Les’s stunning Gil Thorp-themed composition from a few weeks ago. Well, apparently creating non-traditional music based on cheesy old comic strips is now all the rage in certain segments of the musical community! I hereby present to you this genius work from faithful reader Ben, entitled “My Compulsion To Help Others.” It’s based on Mary Worth’s infamous flashback monologue:

And with that, I wish you a happy weekend!

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Before I stumble off to bed, you deserve your COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“In Sally Forth, Ted is making a gesture in panel three that one almost never makes except when wearing pearls. With a manicure. And decolletage.” –Dingo

And your runners-up!

On why Alan should share his drugs with Lu Ann: “It would mean these two will have something in common, other than being blond, talentless, and stupid.” –Bobdog

“Hilary Hahn : 9 Chickweed Lane :: Jonas Brothers : Heart of the City” –The Spectacular Spider-Brick

“It’s cute that Mark calls it ‘our’ plan. Maybe he genuinely believes that Andy has played a crucial role in the construction of his insane plot. Of course, if things go bad, I’m sure it’ll quickly become ‘Andy’s plan.'” –Eric the Grate

“You might think that an ex-Navy SEAL or a crazed suicide-bombing terrorist would have the edge in this kind of standoff, but you’d be wrong: both are like helpless infants in comparison to the indomitable fury of a cute legal secretary who desperately wants to get laid. And that is the kind of Middle East policy I think we could all get behind.” –Trilobite

“All of this leads me to wonder whether this is just some extra-kinky dominatrix fantasy of Steve’s that just got a little out of hand. Or, given that he’s now got his bound mother witnessing Gloria and Samira in a no-holds-barred cat fight, maybe it’s going just as he planned.” –Cheese-n-Pear

“Poor Alan … he’s so naive about drug culture. Somebody tell him that’s not what ‘scoring a key’ means.” –Mumblix Grumph

“Really, the lame setup and confusing art are all just a prop upon which to rest the punchline: Cow shit! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Get it? I hate life.” –bartcow

“Mark Trail is kinda hot, but I’m not even going there. ZZZZZ. I’d like to say that Andy the dog would be more fun, and not in a bestiality kinda way. I mean that going on a WALK with Andy would probably be more fun than even the wildest time in the sack with Master Trail.” –SFMarcus

“I just knew somehow while reading the latest [FBOFW] storyline that it would all end in tears — mine.” –ralph

“Y’know, it kind of makes sense that the most colorful room I’ve ever seen in Mary Worth is in a funeral home.” –Corkey

“And sometimes it’s totally empty. On days like that, I just pull shit out of my ass. In fact that’s how I wrote that book! It’s easier to write a book than you think, especially when you don’t care about plot, character development, or anything like that.” –Canuckguy

And we must give big, big thanks to all of our beloved contributors who were kind enough to hit the tip jar!

And finally, we must give it up for our advertisers:

• Wicked Game: Set your dial to WVMP for the biggest hits of yesterday, today, and beyond the grave! This novel is by faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader Jeri Smith-Ready; she’s offering a free WVMP Lifeblood of Rock ‘n’ Roll T-shirt to the first Comics Curmudgeon reader who e-mails her with the page number in WICKED GAME with the Mary Worth reference!
• VIDEO SMACKDOWN!! Michael B wins $25,000 in a candy bar contest. WILL HE WIN AGAIN? The reviews are mixed: “BY FAR THE GREATEST VIDEO EVER!!!” “NOT the best video here and you know it!” “Grow up! This vid is awesome!!” “Your’re a old has been” “Mike you are a riot!! bet you keep H[..] busy.” SMACKDOWN YOURSELF!!!
• The secrets of the quest: The quest is under way. Some puzzles have been solved, but greater challenge lies ahead. Show resolve, and you could find great reward. $100,000 in treasure awaits. Join if you dare. Many will try. One will succeed.
• The world-famous laugh factory: A fixture on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip for 28 years! All the legends of modern standup comedy have graced our stage, including Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, Paul Rodriguez, Dave Chappelle, George Lopez, and more.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.