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I know, I’m almost late for the comments of the week! But you have to hold out for another moment, ’cause I have a few other points of interest for you:

• Faithful reader yellowjkt has unveiled his annual comics competition, this year called the National Corniest Cliché Comic Character Countdown. Voting is still open in the first category, Alarming Alcoholics.
• I have for about ever been meaning to link to faithful reader One-Eyed Wolfdog’s take on the eternal “what is a plugger?” question: Some People.
• Faithful reader Jon sent me this link to an essay called Mary Worth: Erotica in plain sight. It’s every bit as disturbing as the title would suggest.
• And, finally, the Scots appear to have help for Rex Morgan’s MRSA problem. Perhaps the Heather and Milton could give him the inside track?

And now, the comment of the week you’ve been waiting for!

“I’m pretty sure, in the Funkiverse, when you move out of your parents’ house, you move directly into hospice.” –Islamorada Girl

And the hilarious runners up!

“‘Haha, no ring for you, Margo! I’m even studying with Caine’s old teacher, learning amazing, kung fu Zen powers to avoid marriage!’ You’ll need ’em, Eric. You’ll need ’em.” –Buck Ripsnort

“If Mary Worth is about to find God in the mashed potatoes, and then claim that her self-righteous, narrow-minded nosey-parkering has all been done in the name of Jesus, I’m going to introduce a class-action libel suit. As a Christian, I’ll share the blame for the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition. But not by-God MARY WORTH.” –boojum

“I predict emotional blackmail ahead as Elly tries to guilt Liz into breaking down and wearing the family dress instead of something new that doesn’t reek of mouse urine and repressed emotions.” –Duckman30

“What is Dennis’s teacher so worried about? That he might make some puns or, god forbid, wisecracks? If Dennis is a menace he is still a poor man’s Jeffy.” –Foobar

“Who would ever have guessed that Deanna would show Lizardbreath Grannie’s moldy old dress? And it even fits perfectly! I’m so lost in all these unexpected plot twists, I just don’t know what to say. It’s like — if a tree falls in the forest and everyone already knows it will fall, does anyone actually care anymore when it happens?” –Hugin

“Using her typical selective hearing, Margo has misheard Eric’s ‘tell me all about Lu Ann’s show’ as ‘Margo, how did you get to be so amazing?’ She’s predictably excited that she gets to break out her laminated list of bullet points.” –Tats

“Gasoline Alley: Man. Non-stop ‘Hawhaw, look at th’ caw-widge boy, ain’t he funny’ humor that’ll have you rolling in the aisles, assuming you live in the 1930s and are reading the panels via some sort of century-spanning scrying techniques.” –One-eyed Wolfdog

“I think ‘taking it slow’ is a Lynn Johnston euphemism for ‘oops, I’m pregnant.'” –commodorejohn

“I thought my mother got rid of my bar mitzvah suit early in 1962, when she gave it to Goodwill, but I see that Mark Trail is wearing it.” –LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL

“Her friend’s parents said a prayer, announced that Mary was always welcome at their table, and fed her. Conflating these events, Mary now believes she is Moloch the Devourer.” –Uncle Lumpy

“The only thing that can save the MW flashback at this point is if young Mary’s life is changed by witnessing a fight between a bear and a velociraptor. And maybe the bear has a laser cannon.” –Smokehouse

“Francis looks far more satisfied with himself than a man who’s going to a bar with his mom has any right to be. He does however look exactly as satisfied as a man who can humiliate his mother by carrying her like a ball should be.” –Corkey

“On the whole RMMD MRSA thing: I thought the CDC handled stuff like that. It does seem awfully amateur. ‘Hey! My dad has a morgue! Let’s put on an investigation of a disease outbreak!'” –indrifan

“And once again, the Persuader fails to persuade someone to do something. He’s failure wrapped in a green suit and orange-striped tie.” –Inspector Dim

“Spider-Man: Panels 4-7 look like a scene from Fantastic Voyage: The Colonoscopy.” –Dean Booth of the Affect Ad Patrol

“I seriously doubt that anything interesting has ever happened to Toby. I mean, look at who she married and who her best friend is. Xanax would be redundant for her.” –Brick Bradford

“June and her nurse pal are just a little bit too smug about how well-prepared they are to fight disease. But I suppose when the MD in the strip is as blitheringly incompetent at medicine as Rex seems to be, having a gallon jug of sanitizer would feel like something to boast about.” –Trilobite

And let’s give thanks to the advertisers who make it all possible:

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• The world-famous laugh factory: A fixture on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip for 28 years! All the legends of modern standup comedy have graced our stage, including Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, Paul Rodriguez, Dave Chappelle, George Lopez, and more.
• Shop Indie. Pass it on!: Shana Logic loves Joshreads.com fans because they are independent, rockin’, super nice art lovers! Totally unique hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home Decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more — the best gifts for our favorite people!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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Sure, it’s the wee hours, but by my estimation, I’m still on time with this week’s COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“I know I shouldn’t be so picky, but really! Nothing about this ‘flashback’ looks all that flashy … or backy.” –trooper6

And there were many funny runners up!

“Once again, Mel Lazarus reveals his hell-bent determination to prove Freud right on just about everything.” –Zaq

“It occurs to me that [Momma’s] title character’s last name, Hobbs, is quite appropriate, as she is nasty, brutish, and, most of all, short.” –Ken D

“I think one of the 35-year old Lady Mudlarks got loose in New York City and she’s interviewing Lu Ann for Girl Talk. Look her, pivoting all about. Watch out for her hook shot, Lu Ann!” –Maggi

“It’s fortunate that Mary learned at a young age to ‘delight in the insignificant,’ given that the next 150 or so years of her life would comprise nothing but.” –Violet

“As this drags on, I am now on a road trip to insanity and Mary Worth is driving.” –Kilroy

“Dear Eduardo Barreto, Re: 3/19/08 Judge Parker, panel two: Please bear in mind that Sophie does not need to look quite so much like Sam Driver as you have done so here, because (a) Sophie is adopted, (b) Sam is not her natural father, and (c) Sophie is a girl.” –True Fable

“I always thought the bizarre, awkward, flat-yet-gravity-defying ponytail on Vera was Vera-specific. Now I know this artist just has no idea what a ponytail looks like. Does he think they actually look like the TAILS of PONIES?” –kostia

“By the way, what the hell is low-fat ‘girl cereal?’ Product 19? Total? PMS flakes?” –Shermy Glamrocker

“‘A ring — the token that says I’m no longer a person, I’m a possession!’ Next step: mom jeans.” –Tats

“Alan is the best groomed junkie in history. Now he’s going to be the politest, most trusting smack dealer ever. ‘Um, sure, as long as you promise to pay me tomorrow. Pinky swear?'” –Cranky

“It strikes me as weird and wrong to want to smell like one’s rutting parent.” –Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed

“You can see the panic starting to flare in Margo’s cold, robot eyes: ‘Lu Ann … halt. Please cease hug function. I am not equipped to process human emotions. Halt hugging. Warning! Overloading personality matrix!’ (At this point, just use your imagination to picture the mechanical whirring and smoke that is surely about to start pouring from Margo’s ears.)” –Jilliterate

“Revenge is a dish best served in fluorescent lime green taffeta with cartwheel hats.” –jayjaybear

“Gil Thorp is definitely not the same without the old artist. But this guy has at least retained the totally baffling quality that distinguishes GT from everything else. That third panel: is that a flashback? Is A-Train still on the phone? Who needs to make the call? What’s going on? What strip am I reading? Who am I?” –Mollie

“Did FC forget that it’s a heavily Christian comic, and today is Easter? Why aren’t they in church? I mean, there wasn’t even a filthy-faced child shoving candy into its toothless mouth-hole.” –Loopina

“You know, I’d be as scared as Rex Morgan too, if I were getting telephoned by a vampire. Were we to peek on the other side of that glass door, I’m sure we’d see Andy The Hospital Contact wiping blood from his mouth with a handful of Puffs™ ultra wipes. Good thing Rex can’t tell a staph infection from twin puncture wounds, or else he’d be right out as the patsy for his demonic hospital administration; unemployed, he’d be forced to spend time with his wife and child. I’m sure if you asked the wife and child, they’d prefer it if half the town got drained like bathwater.” –RaJ

And did somebody say “fun pictures”? Faithful reader The Spectacular Spider Brick sent in this pic of him on Jungle Patrol, wearing the spiffy Jungle Patrol shirt he designed. “As you can see, the Jungle Patrol doesn’t just patrol tropical jungles,” he notes.

And I’ve been meaning for about ever to post this picture of faithful reader AMSTERDANG, who was seized by an inexplicable urge to imitate A3G’s Jones the Beatnik, Alan’s buddy/enabler.

And finally, we must give thanks to our advertisers, before I go crawl into bed.

• Shop Indie. Pass it on!: Shana Logic loves Joshreads.com fans because they are independent, rockin’, super nice art lovers! Totally unique hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home Decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more — the best gifts for our favorite people!
• The world-famous laugh factory: A fixture on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip for 28 years! All the legends of modern standup comedy have graced our stage, including Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, Paul Rodriguez, Dave Chappelle, George Lopez, and more.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

Post Content

Let’s wrap up our Monday-night catch-up blogging with the comment of the week!

“Wow, winning the game on a last-second 25-foot shot will be a nice memory next year as Summer lies on her deathbed.” –rhymes with puck

And the runners-up

“I think hating Deanna is overkill. Life already hates Deanna. She’s married to Michael and has two irredeemable brats/poop machines. That’s certainly punishment enough.” –Gagott68

“Yes, Toby, things are not always as they seem. For example, I appear to have my sensible salmon-colored blazer zipped up to my neck, which I have wrapped in a lovely coordinating ascot, but–voila!–presto-chango, as you can see, my blazer has lapels, and doesn’t even have a zipper! How does she do it, you ask? I’ll never tell, ha-ha! I am Mary Worth, woman of mystery!” –Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)

“By the time Mary Worth actually gets around to this flashback, it’ll be a flashback to the beginning of this flashback intro.” –monsieurjohn

“In my pharmacology class, we’re studying cardiac drugs. Every time I read the word ‘aldosterone’ I cry a little.” –Loopina

“What excellent, precise grammar Anthony is using today. Whomever, whom. It somehow makes me want to punch him more. The boy’s got no dangling participles at all.” –Isua

“Mary, you seem so changeless! Like you’ve always been 60 years old, humorless, and ready to meddle. I can’t picture you laughing, loving, or having fun in any way!” –Mountain Mama

“After cancer, it’s debilitating injury time! Definitely an upper, what with all the painkillers involved.” –Niall

Re: “I’m probably not going to hear the end of this”: “I should say not, considering you just slipped on your eighty-year-old ass in the middle of an icy walkway in the dead of night without anyone else in sight to rush to your aide and with you surely being too delicate and feeble to get yourself up. Indeed, it seems doubtful that you’ll even get to hear the beginning of it.” –BenG

“Seriously, I think her life today is more depressing than her childhood could have ever been: living alone in her apartment that smells of stale casserole and despair, loathing all of humanity, maintaining a phony and completely joyless ‘relationship’ with Dr. Jeff, having to hang out with Toby and Ian, unable to commit to even having a pet … I’m just saying, no one would blame Mary if she started taking nips off of the cooking sherry at 6:30 in the morning.” –Trilobite

“I think you are overestimating Toby’s boredom listening to Mary drone on. This is a woman who is married to Chinbeard, after all. Dealing with monumental boredom is a cherished aspect of her life.” –rhymes with puck

“If the proposal is any indication, the wedding video could be marketed as the best sleep aid ever.” –Farley’s Revenge

“Luann: In the March 13 installment, we find out the fire cap’n is gay. This is the most exciting thing to happen in Luann ever! It’s the ONLY thing to happen in Luann ever!” –Lisa (not the dead one)

“Spider-man: Drive on, Persuader! Follow the signs marked ‘Plot.'” –Inspector Dim

“In all her excitement, Liz is forgetting that she’s supposed to wait until AFTER she’s impregnated to devour her mate.” –cheech wizard

“They’re not kissing each other. They’re hugging chastely. On the other hand, if they did kiss each other, I’d have to tear the brooch off the corpse of my mother and blind myself with it. So all in all I’m pretty happy with the way it’s turning out.” –Kate

“Wait, I’m confused. Is Rex’s daughter supposed to be pre-kindergarten? If so, why does she appear to be about 27 years old in panel two? And in panel three it looks as though Rex is trying to figure out the same thing.” –Electro

“It’s never too early to start filling a tiny child with anxiety about his cholesterol level. Hope you don’t like ice cream, kid!” –BigTed

And we as ever do love our advertisers, yes we do:

• Sharp Teeth: A ripping yarn about werewolves in L.A. Nick Hornby says: “Tremendous … underneath all that fur, it’s about identity, community, love, death, and all the things we want our books to be about.”
• The world-famous laugh factory: A fixture on Hollywood’s Sunset Strip for 28 years! All the legends of modern standup comedy have graced our stage, including Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, Paul Rodriguez, Dave Chappelle, George Lopez, and more.
• Shop Indie. Pass it on!: Shana Logic loves Joshreads.com fans because they are independent, rockin’, super nice art lovers! Totally unique hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home Decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more — the best gifts for our favorite people!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.