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Hey, everyone, new comics soon-ish, but here’s a couple of things that I’ve been meaning to link to.

• Gil Thorp aficionados are all well aware of faithful reader Jason Beattie’s This Week In Milford blog. Polls are now open there for best panels of 2007! All your favorites from last year are there — self-clubbing Tyler! Gail Martin! Gil orders a hit! If these are the best, I’m really looking forward to seeing the worst.
• Speaking of single-strip blogs, a few weeks ago faithful reader Dan sent me a link to his effort, Understanding Judge Parker. It might be better titled “Creating Fascinating But Inscrutable Art By Combining Judge Parker With Other Comics”, but it’s still pretty great!
• UPDATE: I almost forgot, I got the following e-mail the other day from Clifford Meth: “I am helping [recently deceased comic book artist] Dave Cockrum’s widow Paty sell off Dave’s personal comics collection — Golden and Silver Age books, his X-Men file copies, etc. Please be kind enough to mention this at your blog and share the news with others.” Done! Check out the details.

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Well, Keg of Curd has had a good 18-day run, but it’s finally time to crown a new comment of the week!

“Having moved as far as possible from menace, Dennis is now distancing himself from making sense, giving us this baffling nugget of Family Circus-grade confusion. Snowballs are free? Compared to what? Other roughly palm-sized objects that you throw at people?” –Rhekarid

And the runners-up! So funny!

“You know, I’ve been thinking about this recent Mark Trail storyline, and how the ‘small cigars’ played a major part. I just wish that there existed some diminutive by which we could refer to these small cigars … perhaps ‘cigar-ling’ … or ‘cigar-ina’ … or possibly even ‘cigar-ette.'” –Mariko

“Has anyone noticed the FOOB website is down? Did it collapse under the weight of its own desperation?” –Mir777

“I always appreciate the Kwanzaa story for both the insanity and of course the life lesson. While I’m absolutely amazed by the insanity of this year’s gem, I’m relatively certain that the lesson — don’t leave your pregnant buffalo-wife alone after stealing from a two-headed snake — doesn’t apply to most people.” –rhymes with puck

“Damn you, April. Damn you for having what I want: bangs tousled just so by the awkward breath of teenage angst, trying to guilt you into awkward sex.” –kitty

“Does Margo seriously believe people drink champagne to quench thirst? I think this might explain something about her.” –fluffy

“‘And after champagne, who’s going to the chiropractor after screwing up their neck?’ ‘I AM!'” –Fireball

“So Eric’s leaving for China, leaving his gallery in the hands of a manager with a single day of training and a short attention span, plus a guy who’s probably in the supply closet right now, huffing paint fumes and airplane glue. My guess is that the gallery has been hemorrhaging money and this is a convoluted plan to collect a surprisingly large insurance settlement.” –Darkefang

“I can buy that Lu Ann in hypoxia paints better than Alan drunk off his ass, but I think that’s more than balanced out by the fact that, sober or drunken, Alan can think in sentences and count money and stuff. True love waits!” –Dr Marion

“Abbey’s blacked-out face is a visual representation of her state of mind before what she’s come to refer to in her own mind as simply ‘it.'” –Nate

“I hate long goodbyes … therefore, our imminent lovemaking will be confused, frenzied, and brief.” –Hubris

[In response to Hubris’s comment above]: “Also known as ‘doin’ it Gil Thorp style.'” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“I wish tomorrow’s panel would feature Slylock and Cassandra, sharing the bath and a Max sandwich. And I don’t mean the threesome type. I mean the really slice up the little bastard and eat him type.” –McManx

“I think Reeky Rat perfectly symbolizes man’s insatiable desire for self-betterment. Clearly he’s fighting an unwinnable war against his own revolting stench, but there he is, in the shower, trying to scrub off the repugnant hand life has dealt him and give himself the chance to ascend to a higher stratus of society, albeit through a life of crime, deception, and ill-fated schemery. ‘Get me a towel!’ he shouts jubilantly, ‘Everything’s comin’ up Reeky!'” –Stupendous Girl

“You know, I really wish FBOFW would spend some time letting us know how the characters feel about the way their lives change over time and to do so with either long, drawn-out exposition or with short, witty zingers to which we may or may not be able to relate.” –PeteMoss

And our advertisers! Thanks must be given!

• Days of Industry: Faithful Comics Curmudgeon reader Hungarian Great Bela Tarr informs us that he is representing the estate of a Nigerian crown prince whose dying wish was to disseminate his sizable fortune among fellow aficionados of his favorite comic strip, Mark Trail. To secure your own personal $450,000 windfall, you need only submit your credit card information and Social Security Number to the Nigerian Royal Exchequer. You can do so at the new politics/pop culture blog, Days of Industry. (Once on the site, click on the marginal link labeled “Lago$ Windfall.”) As a further incentive to collect this payout, every visitor to Days of Industry will receive a complimentary SpyStealer software package. No installation required; just click on the link, and the SpyStealer program will be installed on your computer for good!
• Are you a sucker?: Embrace the darkness or seek a lighter vein at ErinMcCarthy.net.
• Have a Handmade Holiday!: Give the hottest handmade gifts this year! Totally unique hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home Decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more — the best gifts for our favorite people!
• Evermore: A novel of the Darkyn: A willing sacrifice. An enduring bond. An unimaginable end.

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Mary Worth, 12/25/07

Ho ho ho, old lady! Soon your beloved new pet — the only living thing that can still stand to be around you, or the only one that can’t flee, at least — will be torn away from you and then you’ll be ALONE, ALONE, ALONE! Ha ha ha! Holiday greetings!

So, I’m back! Sad to say, I haven’t even caught up on the comics yet from my visit — I have no idea what’s going on with Chester’s Choice and the Damn Brownies and Liz and Anthony’s Half-Hearted Christmas Eve Lovemaking and OH MY GOD THE CURTIS KWANZAARAMA! I had to have my attention drawn to the Christmas Day gem above by a link on the Shortpacked! blog. Showing how much the Shortpacked/Comics Curmudgeon readerships are overlapping, here’s this random picture of Finger-Quotin’ 20th Anniversary Optimus Prime from faithful reader Stewart Dean!

Er. So, how did your Christmas go, faithful readers? Get any good loot? The comics-related elements in my haul included the awesomely named Art of Ill Will, a book on the history of political comics, which I got from my dad. More visually intriguing was the following gem:

There’s nothing better to give a young narcissist than the gift of ME! This fine portrait was drawn by cartoonist Tony Millionaire, the guy behind Maakies and Sock Monkey. Mr. Millionaire was involved in a Christmas original art swap with Alison Bechdel, of longtime Dykes to Watch Out For and more recent Fun Home fame. Ms. Bechdel, whom I met once in NYC earlier this year, said:

I kept racking my brains, trying to think of someone who’d really, truly appreciate a Tony Millionaire portrait of themselves … but to no avail. Then I was looking through my iPhoto pictures for some reason, and ran across a couple I’d taken of you at MoCCA in June. And I thought, Of course! The Curmudgeon!

My heart was extremely touched! And my head got slightly bigger! I thought I’d share this picture with you before I permanently installed it on the ceiling above my bed.

But hey, enough about me! What about your late December extravanganzae? I know for a fact that at least five of you were celebrating in style, enjoying a Comics Curmudgeon meetup in the Big Easy on December 26!

From left, that’s faithful readers Big Sims, Shannon, Non-Shannon (in Chopstick Technique gear), Bootsy (in Search Advice gear), and Trotzenbonnie (in partially obscured the Urge gear). I love this picture so much. Don’t they look like a team of superheroes in their secret identities? Or perhaps a rag-tag gang of misfits, each with a unique skill, called together to rescue the kidnapped president, or perhaps rob a high-security vault full of diamonds?

In the next picture, you can get a better look at the Urge shirt, and see that the circle at the base of the arrow does not in fact center over one’s nipple as some feared. Also, Trotzenbonnie and Shannon look awfully calm considering they’re right next to some kind of horrifying FBOFW-branded demon-eyed doll thing.

I also got the following note and picture:

Latest CNN hero Steve Peifer sends his greetings before he departs to Kenya. He’s your biggest fan in Africa. See more at CNN’s Web site. One may wonder why he is writing in third person, it’s because his amazing son is writing it!!!

No word on whether Steve is baffling the children of Kenya with his Mark Trail-themed shirt as he arranges for food to be available to them in their schools. A shout-out to you, Steve!

Also! Through means that I’m not at liberty to disclose, I am able to share with you some Christmas pictures from another Comics Curmudgeon regular. Here’s the Galactic Emperor Chennux attempting to magmacannon Chucky, the Fiber Optic Snowman.

And here his Imperial Loudness enjoys a simple Zynexian feast of potatoes and syrup prior to skxcritort deployment.

And! While I must sadly pass over most of the comics that ran while I was on vacation, I am obliged to linger over a couple of TDIETs that appeared during my absence. The first comes from an idea submitted by faithful reader HBGlord:

They’ll Do It Every Time, 12/24/07

Bonus Scadutoism: “Yo-yo-b-ba-bee-yo-y-yo”.

The second is from faithful reader Matt Brauer. I particularly enjoy the look of real anger on little Ragweed Jr. as he attempts to bludgeon his sister with a baseball bat.

Bonus Scadutoism: “kinder.”

Real comics from yours truly … tomorrow! Meanwhile, I shall let Keg of Curd rule the COTW roost until next Monday, but for now we must give thanks to our advertisers, yes we must.

• Evermore: A novel of the Darkyn: A willing sacrifice. An enduring bond. An unimaginable end.
• Learn to draw the human figure: Acclaimed anatomy training course! Used by leading entertainment studios worldwide in 60 countries — the likes of LucasFilm, ILM, RedStorm, Midway, Blizzard. Learn to draw the human figure from your mind for illustration, comic books, manga, anime, game design, and all art fields.
• Have a Handmade Holiday!: Give the hottest handmade gifts this year! Totally unique hip & hot jewelry, killer ties for men, home Decor & iPod gear, unusual plushes, and more — the best gifts for our favorite people!

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.