“These kids may seem crazy, but if you ask me, they’re crazy-smart, using a Ford Taurus to conduct their mischief-making. The cops will never stop them; they’ll never even notice them.” –Salmon Pink
“Holy freaking cow! It’s like the oompa loompas gangbanged Judy Garland.” –SmartPeopleOnIce
“Cully isn’t rolling out with ‘Boyd Henry and his friends,’ with ‘friends’ in the plural, unless someone is hiding in the backseat. Which means Mitch didn’t ‘find’ the money so much as he ‘earned it from whoever is going down on him in that last panel.'” –Sobek
“Margo is totally about to crush her tiny cellphone using just her fist in panel three. I bet Margo goes through phones like most people go through chewing gum. Or like Tommie goes through Kleenex and anti-depressants.” –Tats
“And if you don’t go to college, well … you remember that song ‘Fancy,’ right? Well, that’s gonna be you.” –Nate
“I prefer to read Johnny Malotte’s ‘If they like our camp’ as ‘If they enjoy our drag show’. His son wouldn’t be the first person to work his way through college by dancing for businessmen.” –Francis
“Cindy has that vile Winkerbeanian smirk that comes from years of pretending to have emotions. Her divorce from Funky must surely have been smirkingly smug.” –The Avocado Avenger
“Worst job in the Malotte compound? Cleaning the hair out of the drains. This must be done hourly and requires patience, intestinal fortitude, and a strong lower back.” –Joe Blevins
“Occam’s Razor would suggest that Ian keeps the dog hidden away in his beard. It feeds on errant crumbs and dribbled soup.” –Plus a constant
“Bless you, Dolly. Nobody can stupidly state the obvious to nobody in particular better than you.” –Jordan
“You know, Mary, someone once said, ‘Let sleeping dogs lie.’ But then again, someone else also said, ‘Wouldn’t it be great to see Mary Worth get her face ripped off by a rabid dog?'” –John C Fremont
“DT: Tess is ‘worried about, Dick in that weird house.’ What an odd, and awkward, euphemism for one’s vagina.” –PeteMoss
“I reckon the only possible arc for Mary Worth to take is a neutering story. Can’t have the pup upsetting the strip’s delicately balanced, 100% sexless ecology.” –Keg of Curd
“It’s obvious! The ‘snap’ is Sam doing the drag queen gesture of contempt. It’s called foreshadowing, people! Margo will fall for him and then he’ll reveal his secret! Or he has fallen for her because he thinks she is a man. We get to watch as he recoils in horror.” –Doodle Bean
“What a testament to Milford’s extraordinary level of social integration, that persons from all walks of life — from the Rock and Roll Carole King, to elements of the bad news white trash crew wearing unsleeved wife-beaters, to a 68-year-old school functionary paid to look at buses — all have exactly the same hairstyle!” –Joel
“I went to Montoni’s New York and all I got was this lousy T-shirt … and cancer and suicidal depression!” –smacky
“ENTER THE MARMTRIX!” –norbizness
“The Malotte family is an illustration of the ‘quantity over quality’ principle of Darwinian evolution.” –Moss_Moses
“The Persuader is one of the most frightening supervillains ever to stain a page of newsprint. He just lopped off two of his fingers with his knife and didn’t make a sound. Next: ‘Tell me what I want to hear or else I will cut off my fingers!'” –PTrig
