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Hey kids! It’s time for the comment of the week!

“I think ‘comfy accommodation’ is Gerald’s nickname for his penis.” –Weasel Boy

Ha! OK, that was pretty gross, but still. And here are the runners up! Very funny!

“I also like how Mark has to stop working to think about the eyehook, but Rusty has to continue. Ha-Ha! Rusty is stuck working while Mark sits and ‘thinks!'” –fizzy logic

“Only to Mary would someone holding their hand up in the back-off position while saying they need SOLITUDE register in her mind as ‘please hold my hand.'” –Maughta

“Batiuk proves himself to be as bad at writing political comics as he is at humor. He should stick to what he does best, killing and maiming people.” –reader-who-posts

“This is really making me miss the elegant simplicity of the dognapping storyline. I don’t know who Mark can possibly punch out here. He won’t punch Cherry, and punching the hook won’t satisfy me the way his punching those dognappers provided me with satisfaction.” –King Folderol

“I was going to post to say I’m going on a hunger strike until Vera is written out of MW, but then I realized I’ve never seen Mary or any other character actually eating anything. I guess she subsides on the misery of others.” –Tats

“…and Cherry’s world-class obtuseness, demonstrated as she claws her face: ‘That’s hard to believe … he was your friend!’ And a REAL friend would have died for real! And stayed dead!” –O’Fogeyette

“Hugh Avery and Rich-Man’s-Girlfriend/Wife/Whatever appear to be the EXACT SAME PERSON. Isn’t Hugh the Rich Man’s son? That is some creepy shizzle right there, my friends.” –Kronkina

“Mary is actually correcting Vera’s sorry attempt at throwing the Charterstone gang sign. It appears to involve devil horns. Is anyone surprised?” –bintgoddess.com

“I bet Gerald will make it as far as 3rd base, but that’s only 2nd base in US currency.” –Mighty Sam

“I would also just like to point out that, looking back over the full-color strips of the past few days, April has changed her shirt and pants three times in as many hours. Anyone that cannot commit to a fashion concept isn’t ready for more hands-on activities. That’s just common sense.” –Chat Noir

“MT: … and, and — and those word balloons — now he’s just plastering them randomly like sticky notes on a refrigerator. Like a refrigerator filled with talking potatoes.” –John C Fremont

“Luann: ‘E-dress’? ‘B-friend’? I’m sorry, no T-ager talks like that. I call B-shit.” –Skullturf Q. Beavispants

“This is nearly the quintessential Mark Trail: Meticulously rendered animals and landscape, mutant humanoids, stilted dialog punctuated by exclamation points in balloons that randomly point to things that should never speak. The only things it would need to be perfect are Mark uttering ‘What th’?’ while delivering a right hook to some guy with sideburns.” –Pendragon

“Suggested new title for this strip: They’ll Do It Every Time During The Eisenhower Administration.” –Plinko Commie

“I fear you’ll regret that premature statement when Spider-Man fails miserably in his attempt to thwart the kidnapping (after all, he’s facing a limo driver) but is ultimately rescued by the newest superhero in town: Falling Brick.” –DaveyK

“Plugger youth know fractions? How disillusioning.” –Smokin’ Grassroots

“See, this is the beauty of the Spider-Man strip, summed up in a single panel: there is not one single person in that entire universe who is even marginally competent at anything they do. Drivers lose control of their cars for no reason, buildings are mostly made out of loosely-stacked bricks, superheroes spend most of their time watching TV. Quite frankly, it’s a miracle that no one there drowns while trying to eat soup.” –Trilobite

“At this point, April may be the only sympathetic character in the strip, and I can only wait eagerly for vampires to kill the rest of the Pattersons and set April off on her life-long mission of vengeance.” –vanya

“I find it almost reassuring that Mark’s rug is still hanging on the wall — my worldview would be shaken to its very core if the Trail household suddenly had remotely sane design sense.” –Kyorosuke

“April is still my favorite FOOB character next to Mr. Hoffenfluffer, the rabbit. Maybe that’s not his name, but the point is the rabbit doesn’t annoy me much.” –PeteMoss

“Normally one only sees jazz hands in a comic in two situations: 4Evah & Eva concerts or Tommie Thompson pleasuring herself with a copy of Cosmo. Seeing Warren fly through the air doing jazz hands should mean that the technique is officially over.” –Dingo

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• The Structure of Man: Drawing the human figure from your mind: An anatomy training course.

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Those of you who read Wonkette have probably already figured out the secret engagement I hinted at the other day. Yes, I am the BLOGGER OF THE YEAR! Um, as selected by The Week magazine‘s Opinion Awards. (Sadly, if you click on the “Opinion Awards” link on that page, you’ll be taken to last year’s winners, which are entirely me free.) Technically, since they’re all political and stuff over there, it’s mostly from my political cartoon stuff at Wonkette, but we all know that my work on Mary Worth is second to none in the blogosphere.

Look, here I am giving a half-assed acceptance speech!

(Photo thanks to Liz Gorman, Girl Reporter.)

Alex Pareene, Wonkette’s main editor, was also there, and wrote a very funny write-up of the event. I found the whole thing very surreal, as I don’t go to these things very often, by which I mean ever. But the booze and the food, paid for by Chevron and Philip Morris (I’m sorry, the “Altria Group”) were great. The only thing I have to add to Alex’s take is that Chip Bok (who won the best cartoonist award) and his wife are awesomely nice people who rescued me when I was sitting all lonely by myself at the pre-banquet cocktail hour, and Tom Toles, who I didn’t get to talk to quite as much, is very charming too. In fact, all cartoonists that I have had any contact with are uniformly great. So this award’s for you, guys! Except in the sense that it’s actually for me.

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OK, so our dread sovereign, the Galactic Overlord Chennux, has been holding the King Features comics on the Chron hostage all day, so Tuesday’s comics will have to wait until tomorrow, because I have to jet out shortly for a SECRET ENGAGEMENT that I will be authorized to tell you about at a later date. But here’s a few items to tide you over:

First, MARGO! BOXCAR! SATURN shirts and mugs are here, courtesy of faithful reader and all around awesome dude willethompson!

As an experiment, we’re selling these shirts not through CafePress, but through … well, through willethompson himself. The quality should be higher, but we will need a minimum order to get things rolling; if we don’t get 24 pre-orders by April 1, we’ll just go the CafePress route. So, put your money where your mouth is, people! Head over to wille’s site for the details.

Second! You all remember the glory and pageantry that was the Finger Quotin’ Margo lookalike contest! Ever since, I’ve wondered, “What image in the comics is so iconic, so awesome, that people will be willing to humiliate themselves publicly to reproduce it?” Last week, I found the answer:

That’s right — it’s the Self-Clubbing Tyler lookalike contest! e-mail me a picture of you or a unsuspecting friend attempting to reproduce this glorious panel and YOU could end up featured on a classy mug or other item to be determined later! Now, I’m not saying that you’ll get extra bonus points for actually drawing blood or popping your shoulder out of its socket, but strict realism is encouraged.

And thirdly! One of my many minions recently met a nice fan of this site who draws his own comic, The Jackass and the Jew. The author is the Jew (except he isn’t, really) and the Jackass is his coworker, and … well, just read it, really, it’s funny.