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Family Circus, 9/22/19

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think the joke in today’s Family Circus is too subtle for me. Is it that they both look smug in the final panel because they each think they’ve pulled one over on the other — Ma Keane because she’s talked Jeffy down to a goldfish, Jeffy because the goldfish is what he wanted all along, but he “went big” with his requests so that she’d be more willing to get him a goldfish? I don’t think Jeffy’s actually smart enough to pull that off. I think Ma Keane is looking smug because she talked Jeffy down to getting a goldfish, and Jeffy looks smug because he realized he can eat the goldfish.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/22/19

Oh hey, in case you forgot, Buck, who’s having a new baby with Mindy, already has an old baby — what scientist call a “teen” — from his previous marriage (not to the lady who shot him in the head, the one before that). Anyway, here Buck is having a man-to-man talk with his teen son about how great it is that his teen son knows how to poop in a toilet. They seem like they have fun!

Shoe, 9/22/19

I really love how completely depressed this lady looks here, just utterly wrecked by how poorly the evening has gone up till this point. Clearly the date is unsalvageable, so why not open the dinner conversation with “Hey, you ever eat anything that just gave you the shits real bad?”

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Mary Worth, 9/13/19

So there hasn’t really been much by way of a “twist” in this Dawn Summer Romance plot, honestly, but maybe at least now we’re getting to what’s intended to be the point, which is that Dawn having her heart broken will hurt for only a little while, so maybe she should just be grateful that she didn’t suffer some kind of terrible injury that resulted in permanent facial scarring, you know what I mean? Dawn, you hearing this? This saintly young man is offering to help you! Pull yourself together, girl!!!!

Hagar the Horrible, 9/13/19

Ha ha, so, the running Hagar the Horrible bit about Lucky Eddie’s mermaid fetish has all been in good fun, but today’s strip is getting a little too close to “hey, let’s think in some biological detail about mermaids’ reproductive cycle and, by extension, their sex lives, and specifically the sex life shared by this mermaid and Lucky Eddie” and you know what? Nope. This is where I tap out.

Crock, 9/13/19

Hey, you guys know about … brands? Well get this, what if there were brands … but for weapons? [My aide whispers the entire history of the military-industrial complex into my ear] Wait, what

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/13/19

“For that to happen, wouldn’t I have to have sex? Like, with Buck? No thanks.”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/8/19

Oh, hey everyone, looks like the New Age Scammer plot is over and done so we can move back to … Buck and Mindy, everyone’s (?) favorite (???) recurring Rex Morgan, M.D., ancillary characters! Buck’s come a long way from when we first met him, right after he got shot in the head with a nail gun by his wife/Rex’s ex-girlfriend, and now he’s with his new loving wife Mindy, who based on the evidence of this strip he appears to have successfully knocked up, but what if she’s not pregnant at all? What if she’s just had really bad indigestion for the past seven and a half months, and when June says “it’s time,” that means that she’s finally successfully pooped under a doctor’s supervision? I think that would be truly beautiful.

Hi and Lois, 9/8/19

I’m sorry, “I’ll never be as great as you, but I’ll bask in your glory, not live in your shadow” is some extremely supervillain origin story monologue shit. Trixie has just pledged to live, die, and possibly kill for her liege lord, the Sun, and we should all be worried.

Curtis, 9/8/19

Man, I know the webcomics community doesn’t have quite the same energy that it did in the ’00s, but … are people really doing webcomics about half-assedly cleaning your dishes now? Is that … is that a thing? Maybe I’m the one out of touch with the scene.