Post Content

Gil Thorp, 6/16/26

Good news, everyone! Luke has given up on his pagan beliefs that Milford High is haunted by the shades of its dead coaches, and has now returned to the orthodox doctrine of the Holy Mother Church, which holds that Jesus’s “spiritual body” can physically interpose itself between horny teens to prevent sexual sin.

Bizarro, 6/16/26

A few hours ago, they force-fed that antelope something with the winner’s name written on it — something hard, inedible, and painful to eat, as that’s the only thing that could remain intact in the digestive system long enough for this to work — and now that lion is going to eviscerate the poor animal live on stage and pull the name from its steaming, quivering guts. That’s what’s happening here, right? That’s the joke? That’s the nightmare to which this pun has led us?

Shoe, 6/16/26

“It’s so … erotic! Old guys usually aren’t my thing, but I’m not made of stone.”

Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/3/26

Bad news, everyone: Tommy has managed to “seal the deal,” as they say in the sex-having community. He’s not like the other guys, as demonstrated by the fact that he refers to frozen yogurt as “fro-yo.” If he’d called it “frogurt,” he’d have a long, lonely night ahead of him.

Shoe, 6/3/26

Look, I complain a lot about how Shoe generally refuses to acknowledge that its characters are all birds, so I have to hand it to today’s strip: “Charles Squab” is a solid bird-themed pun. Unfortunately this scenario is out of date: the Perfesser, as the strip has repeatedly established and indeed makes clear today, does not have anywhere near the amount of assets that would justify in-person financial advice, and would have been pushed into checking his balances on squab.com, or squab.bird, or whatever the top-level domain in the Shoeniverse is.

Alice, 6/3/26

Why not look 70 at 70? Why not look however old Alice looks at whatever age Alice is? Have you ever given any thought to how old Alice looks, or is? I hadn’t, but now I can’t stop thinking about it, and whether those two numbers match up, and how you could even tell!

Gil Thorp, 6/3/26

COACH BABU: I can help Beth with the wedding.

GIL: Are you sure, Coach Babu?

COACH BABU: Only if I can plan the sangeet. Is there one?

GIL [nervously glances down at the convenient narration box explaining what a sangeet is, learns that it sounds fun and also inexpensive]: There is now!

Post Content

Crock, 5/16/26

This is one of those Rodney Dangerfield-style one-liners that sort of makes sense when you first hear it but just kind of falls apart the more you think about it. You’re tellin’ me the waiter … mails you your fortune? Is that because you’re such a contemptible figure that he doesn’t want to interact with you? But if so, how did you get the rest of your meal? Or, is it because the fortune itself is so toxic and terrifying it needs to be conveyed with the utmost of care? But if that’s the case, wouldn’t mailing it involve more contact with the fortune than just swiftly walking it into the dining area and handing it off to the customer? And why get dozens of innocent postal workers involved? If only the comics were a visual medium that could shed some light on this, but no, according to iron-bound convention, this joke must be relayed by three identical drawings of a guy saying it at us.

Shoe, 5/16/26

I’m all for this wholesome depiction of Skyler and his teammate engaged in the time-honored tradition of remembering some guys, though I’m curious as to whether this other dude just blurted out a commonly known Charles Barkley fact or if there was some lead-up to it. My big complaint though is that they’re sitting in chairs. I know that’s probably “realistic” about high school sports of whatever, but if Skyler is complaining via baroque wordplay about always being on the bench, in the sense of being held in reserve during a basketball game and never getting any playing minutes, they should show him sitting on a bench, in the sense of the big long wooden thing that multiple people can sit on.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 5/16/26

“Old people! They’re our main audience now! Is this the kind of slop you hogs like? I mean, uh, is this the sort of representation you fine people find respectful?” –the Mother Goose and Grimm creative team, I guess