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Shoe, 10/29/26

I don’t think you should bring your own botox to a party. I think botox should be supplied and injected by trained and licensed medical professionals! Call me a stick in the mud who doesn’t align with current government policy on this topic, but I feel strongly about it.

Flash Gordon, 10/29/26

As you know, I mostly don’t comment on new-look Flash Gordon here except to note how cool it is and that you should definitely be reading it. It dips deep into the strip’s lore for a lot of stuff but also isn’t afraid to stake out new narrative territory, including, apparently, “Dr. Zarkov has been low-key fucking his way through the Mongolithic lady scientist community ever since he arrived on this planet.”

Herb and Jamaal, 10/29/26

“God would never tell anyone to eat at this place,” thinks Rev. Croom. “I would know: I eat here every day, having been tempted to do so by Satan. I only do it to better know the Enemy, so I can defeat him!”

Mary Worth, 10/29/26

“He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed! Doesn’t always understand what’s going on! Truly unequipped for even the basics of navigating daily life! Dumber than a pillowcase full of doorknobs!” [suddenly starts sobbing] “Mary, I love him SO MUCH”

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Shoe, 10/23/26

As I move into my late middle age, I definitely have spent time pondering my legacy, and feeling increasingly proud of the decades of abstruse sex jokes about Mary Worth that I will leave behind me, to the amusement of a select but hopefully happy few. I think more artisans leave such specialized work in their wake than we often recognize! For instance, the journeyman behind Shoe is, without a doubt, history’s premier artist for depicting bird-men who react to ostensible joke dialogue by looking genuinely and sincerely depressed. This isn’t funny, Roz! She was his friend, and now she’s dead! If you think about it, there are quite a few ways they could’ve gotten to this punchline that don’t involve Clara Higgins passing away, but when you have this kind of depressed-bird-man-drawing-talent available, you don’t waste it.

Mary Worth, 10/23/26

Speaking of abstruse sex jokes about Mary Worth, I know we’re supposed to take Mary’s “negative thoughts” as referring to her troubled imagining of who could’ve been spreading rumors about her, but come on, she’s thinking about sex with Ian, right? Like, nobody wants to think about sex with Ian Cameron, but once it’s been suggested to you, it’s hard to avoid thinking about. You’re thinking about it right now. Don’t try to tell me you’re not.

Alice, 10/23/26

BIG NEWS: We have learned the name of Alice’s boyfriend, and it’s … Steve? Huh. Huh. Wouldn’t have guessed that, I admit. Guy doesn’t look like a Steve, but I suppose the world isn’t always what you expect. Oh, also, they finally met the aliens that live under her floorboards or whatever. She and Steve did. “Steve.” Still doesn’t sound right, sorry.

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Blondie, 10/20/26

I feel like panel one here is a great illustration of what a gormless dipshit the current iteration of Dagwood Bumstead is. He’s the type of guy who watches an ad for a car dealership, and the narrator of the ad announces that the car dealership hired a surprise pitchman, and he’s so surprised that he yelps out “HUH?” and gesticulates around wildly. I don’t really have a strong opinion about the Santa stuff, it’s legit to be unhappy about that but also legit to not care or even to be kind of excited about Christmas months in advance, I just have contempt for a guy who allows himself to be fully emotionally invested in the narrative arc of a 30-second local ad spot.

Mary Worth, 10/20/26

Looks like all’s well that’s ending well for Toby and Ian! I guess the lesson learned is that if there are rumors flying around about your husband’s infidelity and you’re thinking about confronting him, maybe don’t? Or maybe just wait till you actually get to the restaurant, because there’s a good chance a surprise party is awaiting you there and it’s going to make all these problems go away. Imagine how awkward it would be if you started a big fight in the car on the way over!

Shoe, 10/20/26

“And you’re gonna have those too, now that a critical mass of people have decided to stop vaccinating their kids! Hope you enjoy your computers, I guess.”