Post Content

Shoe, 10/23/26

As I move into my late middle age, I definitely have spent time pondering my legacy, and feeling increasingly proud of the decades of abstruse sex jokes about Mary Worth that I will leave behind me, to the amusement of a select but hopefully happy few. I think more artisans leave such specialized work in their wake than we often recognize! For instance, the journeyman behind Shoe is, without a doubt, history’s premier artist for depicting bird-men who react to ostensible joke dialogue by looking genuinely and sincerely depressed. This isn’t funny, Roz! She was his friend, and now she’s dead! If you think about it, there are quite a few ways they could’ve gotten to this punchline that don’t involve Clara Higgins passing away, but when you have this kind of depressed-bird-man-drawing-talent available, you don’t waste it.

Mary Worth, 10/23/26

Speaking of abstruse sex jokes about Mary Worth, I know we’re supposed to take Mary’s “negative thoughts” as referring to her troubled imagining of who could’ve been spreading rumors about her, but come on, she’s thinking about sex with Ian, right? Like, nobody wants to think about sex with Ian Cameron, but once it’s been suggested to you, it’s hard to avoid thinking about. You’re thinking about it right now. Don’t try to tell me you’re not.

Alice, 10/23/26

BIG NEWS: We have learned the name of Alice’s boyfriend, and it’s … Steve? Huh. Huh. Wouldn’t have guessed that, I admit. Guy doesn’t look like a Steve, but I suppose the world isn’t always what you expect. Oh, also, they finally met the aliens that live under her floorboards or whatever. She and Steve did. “Steve.” Still doesn’t sound right, sorry.

Post Content

Blondie, 10/20/26

I feel like panel one here is a great illustration of what a gormless dipshit the current iteration of Dagwood Bumstead is. He’s the type of guy who watches an ad for a car dealership, and the narrator of the ad announces that the car dealership hired a surprise pitchman, and he’s so surprised that he yelps out “HUH?” and gesticulates around wildly. I don’t really have a strong opinion about the Santa stuff, it’s legit to be unhappy about that but also legit to not care or even to be kind of excited about Christmas months in advance, I just have contempt for a guy who allows himself to be fully emotionally invested in the narrative arc of a 30-second local ad spot.

Mary Worth, 10/20/26

Looks like all’s well that’s ending well for Toby and Ian! I guess the lesson learned is that if there are rumors flying around about your husband’s infidelity and you’re thinking about confronting him, maybe don’t? Or maybe just wait till you actually get to the restaurant, because there’s a good chance a surprise party is awaiting you there and it’s going to make all these problems go away. Imagine how awkward it would be if you started a big fight in the car on the way over!

Shoe, 10/20/26

“And you’re gonna have those too, now that a critical mass of people have decided to stop vaccinating their kids! Hope you enjoy your computers, I guess.”

Post Content

Mary Worth, 10/11/26

Apologies, Mary Worth, for implying a few days ago that this dream sequence would not match the boxing Wilburbabies in madness. Parrots! Toby’s beloved parrots! Who, in her mind (at least the subconscious part) are lovers? Perhaps the only two true lovers that Toby knows? And thus she’s imagining various parts of them fading in and out and being replaced by Mary and Ian’s corresponding parts? Bleak stuff! Bleak, terrifying stuff! I like the fact that Ian’s tie and Mary’s trademark cowl neck are the only features that remain constant in both parrot-human hybrid variations. I hope these images recur to haunt Toby for months to come!

Shoe, 10/11/26

Oh, it looks like Shoe also has a dead uncle to crack wise about. He doesn’t merit some kind of cute wordplay, though. “Yeah, he was a dumb asshole and he blew himself up,” that’s what Shoe wants us to know about him. “His guts were everywhere, it was awful.”

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/11/26

Cinderella is giving Prince Charming real bedroom eyes here, implying that her “great” is not sarcastic and that pumpkin spell is a powerful aphrodisiac in the Grimmiverse. Much to think about.

Blondie, 10/11/26

No! No!! The creators of Blondie have learned about the Gigachad meme! We need to cut the boomers off from the internet entirely until we’ve figured out what’s going on!!!