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Gil Thorp, 7/24/17

It’s pretty clear what’s happened here: our hapless colorist, befuddled by Mudlarkian banter and unable to tell Trey Davis and Jaquan Case apart when Trey’s mohawk isn’t in view, and made the fateful mistake of emblackening Trey’s partially visible profile in the third panel. Still, it’d be a lot more interesting of Jaquan didn’t just have minor knee surgery, but also a dissociative personality disorder that results in multiple identities jockeying for control. “Maybe I’ll return to the NBA–” [much deeper voice] “IGNORE HIM” “No, I’m just–” “HE’S HAVING AN EARLY MIDLIFE CRISIS” “I can’t let this happen aga–” “KILL! KILL! KILL!”

Lockhorns, 7/24/17

I’ve always been comfortable actually having very little idea about how old the Lockhorns are supposed to be, but I’ve also always been sure that they’ve been somewhere in the 35 to 50 range. Today’s panel seems to undermine everything I thought I knew, though. Unless Leroy has made himself a fake ID so he can get senior discounts? That’s why he loves it. He’s proud to show off his handiwork!

Six Chix, 7/24/17

Ahh, yes, it’s the classic cartoon trope, where you do a riff on the stereotypical adultery discovery where someone blurts out “My wife … and my best friend!” after walking in on them in bed together. Lotta variations have already been done, though! So why not do one where a lady comes into the bedroom and apparently sees a dog having sex with a giant, nightmarish arachnid, a scene that apparently makes her smile slightly and flutter her lashes while the dog looks at her sheepishly and the tick writhes on its back under the covers? Why not do that? Why not print it in newspapers across the country? Why not let everyone know that you thought about it, and drew it, and think it’s funny?

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Spider-Man, 7/14/17

Hey, Spider-Man! Last I checked you and your movie star wife weren’t exactly supporting your aunt in the lifestyle to which she’d like to become accustomed in return for the fact that she raised you as a single parent after your negligence got her first husband killed, so maybe you should stop throwing roadblocks between her and her true love Mole-Man. Financial considerations shouldn’t keep people apart any more than the specious religious grounds you tried to use years ago. Anyway, that all turns out to not matter, because Mole-Man is rich! Rich as a mole! I sincerely love the Parker clan’s facial expressions in the last panel here: It’s as if they’re all holding extremely still, hoping that, if they don’t say anything or make direct eye contact with anybody, this whole “Mole-Man is fabulously wealthy and will soon be part of our family” thing will work out and none of them will ever have to work again.

Blondie, 7/14/17

OK, I rag on the syndicate colorists all the time for their egregious errors (like getting celebrities’ hair color wrong, just as an example) so I suppose I should give them credit when they deserve it: Mr. Dithers having a cash-green blanket to complement his currency-themed pajamas is a lovely and subtle touch.

Six Chix, 7/14/17

Here’s today’s Six Chix! It’s about, uh, straight-up murder, I guess?

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Pluggers, 6/10/17

Ha ha, yes, advertisers have little interest in plugger viewing habits because they don’t buy much and they’ll be dead soon, but anyway is it just me or is the plugger dog-man looking pretty pissed? “Damn you, handsome Ron Howard,” he thinks. “Damn you straight to hell for taking my wife’s heart away from me.”

Six Chix, 6/10/17

Hey, remember when there was that rash of updating classic books with “& Zombies” in the title? Well, they finally did it with the Bible, and it doesn’t look great.