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Panel from Slylock Fox, 5/10/15

Slylock is of course the king of being a dick to everyone around him, including his supposed friends, but this seems like a particularly low blow. Like all the sapient animals in this strip, Max is still pretty new to using language, and is maybe a little sensitive and awkward about it. “Hey, Max,” says Slylock, “did you know that what you perceive as a self-directed ability to generate ideas ex nihilo is just putting words in order that someone else thought up? Guess you’re not as smart as you think!” Max dies a little inside. Is he still the tiny, unthinking rodent he once was? Do his hat and shorts count for nothing? He’ll get past this moment of self-doubt, probably; Slylock will wait until his self-confidence is built up a bit more before dropping the Library of Babel on him.

Panels from Judger Parker, 5/10/15

Oh, hey, remember that whole Rocky-and-Godiva-are-fighting plot that was ultimately resolved when Rocky and Godiva stopped fighting and skipped out on dinner, so they could have sex? Well, bad news: seems they had sex … to death.

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Slylock Fox (panel), 4/26/15

Slylock ditches his jet in an African zoo and is completely baffled. Max has more immediate concerns.

Gasoline Alley (panel), 4/26/15

Walt is now at least 115 years old. Statistically, the number of people who die at that age is vanishingly small — and actually declines with further increases in age! So whether he’s ready or not, we’re likely to have Walt around for a long, long, time.

Mark Trail (panel), 4/26/15

Again with the bugs! If these plagues keep up, we’ll be lucky to make it until Josh gets back on Wednesday.

Say, I’m no etymologist, but wouldn’t you have to release one hell of a lot of sterile males to compete with the wild ones? I thought there also had to be some selection bias toward the sterile males, like unusually firm probosci, or they secrete Hai Karate or something. Unless somebody can look up the answer by Wednesday, we’ll never know.

Rex Morgan, M.D. (panel), 4/26/15

Yeah, Sarah, this is the part about you being a kid that nobody else likes, either.

— Uncle Lumpy

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Slylock Fox, 4/13/15

Once again, Slylock has used simple and fairly obvious animal science facts to catch a criminal! Frogs have no hair, you see, so any frog in a hair salon must by definition be a criminal on the lam! Frogs also must keep their skin moist in order to breathe through it, so any frog willing to sit under a hair dryer must be suicidal. The shoplifting, the bad behavior — they’re just a cry for help.

Mark Trail, 4/13/15

It’s a good thing your tree-bug problem happened to come to light in April, Wally, because the other 11 months a year the Department of Agriculture wouldn’t have done shit for you! It’s also a good thing that the purveyors of specialized pornography who previously owned the hungrypests.com site let their domain registration lapse so this excellent URL could be used for socially constructive purposes.

Family Circus, 4/13/15

The sad facial expressions of the Keane parents are always my favorite things about the Family Circus. “Welp,” Big Daddy Keane thinks mournfully today, “looks like I raised a Communist.”