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Panel from Slylock Fox, 7/7/13

There are many mysteries about the process by which our own, human-dominated world became the Slylock-era planet ruled by animals of various degrees of sentience, living it up in the ruins of our civilization, with a few scattered remnants of Homo sapiens surviving here and there. One of the more minor ones is this: why is Count Weirdly, supposed human, green? Ironically, all we learn today is what isn’t the cause of his odd coloring: Weirdly’s grandiose claims of expert genetic engineering turning him into a human-plant hybrid turn out to be nonsense. But the very fact that the claims were made just raises more questions. For instance, would having some non-human DNA boost Weirdly’s status in this post-human hellscape? And, given that we know that genetic experimentation is forbidden by law, how shocking or embarrassing is the real reason, to prompt Weirdly to make these dangerous claims? Is it just body paint? Did he just start painting himself green in a moment of madness, and now he feels like he needs some higher-tech explanation, to protect his reputation? You shouldn’t be embarrassed by body paint, Count. Your antagonist is a fox wearing pants.

Crankshaft, 7/7/13

In today’s Crankshaft, one of the main characters experiences a brief, fleeting moment of happiness before being subsumed by a crushing wave of anxiety. I guess we’re meant to feel good about this, though, because in panel two Pam looks unbearably smug, presumably in a narrative bid to make the audience clamor for retribution for her hubris.

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Momma, 7/6/13

Normally I do not endorse Momma’s attempt to micromanage her children’s lives. But the fact that Francis has shown up at her house (where he does not live) in the middle of the day in what appear to be his pajamas makes me wonder if for once her maternal concern is legitimate.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/6/13

The fact that Pappy is grinning blankly while staring at nothing really reinforces the punchline here. “Can’t hear a word the wimminfolk are saying! Are they talkin’ about me? Guess I’ll just smile and hope for the best.”

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Many of you (in USA America) are enjoying a four-day weekend courtesy of our Nation’s Founders, but I will continue to toil and bring you your comment of the week.

“Today’s Judge Parker looks like an acting exercise on how not to use your hands in scene work.” –sporknpork

And also: your hilarious runners up:

“Yes, a printer for all the copies of my screenplay that I will need to print out. Do you have an inkjet, I need something fast! Also, a fax machine! Gonna need to send AND receive a lot of faxes. Ah, it feels good to get out of retirement and back to work, it’s like I never left.” –Calvin’s Cardboard Box

“If you have some serious writing to do, trust me you do not need Wi-Fi.” –Uncle Lumpy

“pleasebedragpleasebedragpleasebedrag” –C. Sandy Cyst

“See, I think the most logical explanation is that Marylou’s shacked up with a robot but is too ashamed to admit it.” –Herr Komerad Kommissar Denny

“When Stanley says he put his credit card number in the wrong spot, he means he put it into every spot, right? Dude really loves his credit card number, it’s just so fun to type and to say.” –Danonymous

“Of all the psycho shit that has gone on in this barely coherent storyline so far, Dick Tracy has saved the biggest whack attack for last: the Moon Maiden is going to Wisconsin.” –The Rt. Venerable Pasdordan

“Since there’s no text on that screen, I can only assume that Mary thinks in promotional-website speak.” –bourbon babe, unbuckled

“This place really has combined spirituality and fitness. Note the man standing on the diving board in a crucifixion pose.” –Joe Blevins

“I assumed from the first panel that ‘The Mauler’ was a media name for a serial killer. ‘Your dad was the Mauler? The guy who killed all those nuns? Small world! How’s he doing these days? Run out of appeals, huh?'” –pugfuggly

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