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Funky Winkerbean, 9/30/12

So there’s a dismal, pouring rain, and the daughters upon whom Les and Cayla have lavished all their energy over the past 18 years have moved away, and even the things that should be joyful to look forward to are just looming, anxiety-inducing projects that must be tackled with grim determination and will inevitably fail in some meaningful way. Cayla begs for death. (“No, Josh, don’t be silly, ‘just shoot me’ is an over-the-top way of acknowledging life’s little difficulties, if we just look at her face we’ll be able to tell that she’s jokOH DEAR GOD THERE ISN’T ENOUGH PROZAC IN THE WORLD FOR THIS POOR POOR WOMAN”)

Blondie, 9/30/12

I guess this is supposed to be making fun of Facebook users, but I think a sure-fire way to get more people to sign up would be an ad that said “Facebook: For when you need to minimize awkward in-person interactions with jackasses like Iggy Sorenson.”

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Apartment 3-G, 9/29/12

Oh, man, it looks like Apartment 3-G is just going to keep on getting sexier, only by sexy we unfortunately mean “’70s French sex farce where people keep barging in on each other and otherwise having comical misunderstandings sexy” rather than “actually sexy.” Didn’t Margo have a receptionist at some point earlier in this storyline? She doesnt seem to be doing a particularly good job. Greg, meanwhile, is showing that, you know, MFF, MMF, whatever, if it’s a threesome he wants in.

Blondie, 9/29/12

Haha, Blondie wants no part of growing old with Dagwood! The only question now is what route she’s taking out of this marriage: divorce, murder, or murder-suicide.

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Hope your are enjoying your weekend so far, all! Here, enjoy this comment of the week:

“Archie’s core audience is so old that they remember when literacy was the norm.” –Droopy Says

And your runners up! Very funny!

“Wow, a hot young naked blonde with such bad daddy issues that she actually sings about them? When June isn’t looking, Rex is gonna get all over that! (By which I mean, of course, he’ll grumpily demand that she leave the premises.)” –BigTed

“Is that kid leaking oil in panel 3 of Gil Thorp? That helps explain the cross-cultural parenting styles, at least. Americans have perfected the ‘teenager’ through robotic engineering! USA! USA!” –Greg

“And when I say ‘this helmet’ I mean, of course, ‘that helmet.’ I’ve taken so many rocks to the head already I’ve lost the ability to properly use demonstrative adjectives.” –DaveyK

“Say, Mr. F, you ever notice how me and your drunk neighbor look basically identical? I mean, to the point where his wife might not even notice if he were, say, crushed into a tiny cube and buried deep in a landfill, while a deservingly hard-working blue-collar joe took over his life and identity? Not that I’d try anything like that, of course … Is she hot?” –damanoid

“Dawn, don’t go searching for yourself. We know you and you won’t like what you find.” –Honey Badger, Does not give a shit

“That band-aid on his left cheek indicates that Billy’s attackers let up for a little while and gave him some basic medical attention before resuming their vicious beatdown, most likely to prolong his suffering (and thus their amusement). Still, that he kicked his assailants in the nuts so many times that his left foot is so swollen that it no longer fits its shoe (yet he walks on it without seeming difficulty) is a testament to Billy’s fighting spirit. I can’t help but feel admiration for all parties to this fray.” –Ray Sharky

“To be fair to Hi and Lois, even if I worked in newspapers, I wouldn’t actually read one.” –AndyL

“Greg, man of a thousand slightly different noses.” –Holly Folly

“I’m more worried about Archie’s double black armbands than I am about his illiteracy. Mrs. Grundy is cruelly neglecting Archie’s grief, and even his classmates are laughing at him. Archie tries to smile, but the tears still flow. Well, shoot out of his ears, anyway.” –The Grim Spectre of Food

“Ha! It’s funny because God no longer has a defined benefit pension either!” –Nekrotzar

“I’m pretty sure 65 bucks for all the steak Jughead can eat is the deal of the fucking century.” –Doctor Handsome

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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