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Hey everybody! I am about to depart for a week off. But have no fear! Your favorite Uncle Lumpy will be stopping by to take care you in my absence, and I’ll be returned to your computer screens next weekend. But, I leave you with … this week’s COMMENT OF THE WEEK!

“Didn’t Margo use to be wedding planner before she was almost-married into being in charge of (owning?) a gallery? Why isn’t she in charge of this certain catastrophe? For god’s sake, Lu Ann, if something has to blow up in someone’s face, you got an explosions expert right there.” –Lord-z

And the runners up! Very hilarious!

“I’m a fan of the blue-collar uniform worn by the agent/secretary. It’s like he’s working at Big Earl’s Tires and Soccer.” –Chris

“And thus the sub-genre of socially aware furry redneck porn is born.” –A.E.F

“Take a lesson from me, kids! I can’t escape the cops, just like you can’t overcome your terminal illness. You can spend your few remaining hours watching TV, which is what I’ll be doing in jail. So long, you’ve been a great audience!” –ArchieNemesis

“What’s with the sky’s black rounded edges in Hi and Lois? Is this all taking place in Thirsty’s alcohol-induced masturbatory dream bubble? I guess we’ll find out for sure if his wife and Lois start making out while being sprayed down in booze.” –sporknpork

“Hmm, all the caveman characters are already long-haired and unshaven, so how to communicate visually that this one’s a filthy stinking doper? Of course! We’ll slap a Volkswagen hood ornament on his chest, and give him some of those ‘sunned-glasses’ the kids are always wearing! Nailed it.” –Doctor Handsome

“You know, all I really want out of this storyline is one simple week of Mary Worth versus the Soccer Hooligans. Is that so much to ask?” –commodorejohn

“The phrase ‘medically possible’ rings false when coming from Li’l Billy. It’s the kind of thing that I might have said when I was seven or eight, just to show that I could. Am I saying that I was smarter as a kid that Billy is? Yes, I am saying that.” –Artist formerly known as Ben

“I dunno, guys. It looks like ‘New York Blasés’ to me. This is Mary Worth, after all.” –Effluvius Erratus

Thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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Mary Worth, 10/7/11

Oh my gosh, you guys, the message-leaving is not going well. 1049, you fool, not 1045! Do “nine” and “five” sound anything alike? No! Well, except for the vowel! But still! You’re a disgrace to your bellhop uniform! Unless you’re not a bellhop at all, but rather a waiter at a Chinese restaurant! Which is just as likely, given the design of that uniform!

Meanwhile, a handsome slab of soccer-playing man-meat just walked up to the desk, missing his love connection by mere seconds. That sure is a sweet team logo Bobby’s got there, if by “logo” you mean “a sheet of paper that he tore in half, wrote ‘New York Blazers’ on, and then safety-pinned to his cardigan.”

Panel from Beetle Bailey, 10/7/11

Yay, the weekend is almost here! Why not relax and enjoy it, and celebrate the end of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell while you’re at it, by coming up with wacky things to put in Beetle’s word balloon here?

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Family Circus, 10/6/11

Does Ma Keane really feel a need to apologize that her crying infant is showing emotion? “Sorry, Billy, we can’t all be eerily affectless soul-dead monsters like you.”

Gil Thorp, 10/6/11

I want to briefly dip into the already dullsville Gil Thorp fall plot — seriously, it involves the football team’s quest for a kicker, a quest that will inevitably end with the forcible recruitment of the mysteriously squirrely Brody Abro — to point out that Milford actually has a soccer team, one that I don’t believe we’ve ever seen mentioned in the course of a strip ostensibly dedicated to high school sports. I assume that this is because the team isn’t coached by a Thorp, which in turn probably explains why the team is in contention for a championship.

Mary Worth, 10/6/11

Meanwhile, in Mary Worth, the entire week has been dedicated to the trials of leaving a phone message for someone at a hotel. Taste the excitement!

Shoe, 10/6/11

“Ha ha! No, but seriously, we live in a monstrous dictatorship with no respect for human rights.”