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Dennis the Menace, 6/7/06

Yeah, your grandpa pretty much sounds like a loser, kid. I’m all for good sportsmanship and everything, but if you go around telling your friends stuff like this, I think you are pretty much permanently banned from referring to yourself as a “menace”.

9 Chickweed Lane and Pluggers, 6/7/06

If you had asked me this morning which two features would be using the same joke today, this is not a pairing I would have come up with.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/7/06

Rex looks increasingly agitated as this strip progresses. “God damn them and their medical mumbo-jumbo! Impersonating a doctor is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought. OK, what am I going to do if one of them asks me a question? There’s got to be a way to change the subject of this conversation to ice cream.”

Gil Thorp, 6/7/06

What’s wrong with him? How much time do you have, exactly, Coach?

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Mary Worth, 6/6/06

Girlfriend, the first thing we’re going to have to do is wax those forearms.

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Ah, Finger Quotin’ Margo. How do we love thee? Let us count the ways. Or, hell, let’s just trot you out again for everyone to see.

Now, here’s the thing, kids. We all know that the Comics Curmudgeon merch store is desperately, desperately in need of freshening up. And it seems that what the people really want is some sort of Finger Quotin’ Margo product. But if there’s one thing that will bring down the wrath of the Syndicates with enough force to smash this little enterprise into dust, its me selling artwork to which I don’t have the rights on t-shirts. Only King Features can sell garments festooned with drawings of Finger Quotin’ Margo, and if they haven’t wised up to the obvious goldmine that such garments would represent, well, ours is not to wonder why.

But we can do the next best thing. We can’t use this drawing, but is there any reason we can’t … dress up like Margo and re-enact this scene? I’m betting the answer is “No”!

Yes, in a move that is totally and 100 percent not even a little ripped off from Drink At Work’s “Medium Large guy lookalike contest”, we’re having a “Finger Quotin’ Margo lookalike contest!” Just e-mail me a digital photo of yourself looking as much like Finger Quotin’ Margo as possible. You don’t have to wear a red turtleneck sweater, be a brunette, have hair in a bun, be stacked, or even be female, but all of those things will help your cause. (You definitely do have to make the finger quotes, though. C’mon people, put forth a little effort!) I’ll post the best of the pics here (so you also have to have a tolerance for public humiliation) and, if any of them are even close to the real thing, I’ll photoshop in a word balloon into the best and then slap it on a CafePress mug. (I’m thinking photos won’t really come out very well on a CafePress t-shirt, but if I’m wrong, please let me know! Also, I suggest you take the pic against a light-colored background.)

“Why should I subject yourself to your mockery?” you’re no doubt asking. Well, other than the fact that it’ll be totally boss if this comes even close to working, if I pick your picture for the mug, you’ll receive … a free mug! With your own picture on it. Just like the kind you can get down at those kiosks in the mall. Only, you know, awesome.

So don’t delay! Find a photographer and a red sweater and send in those pics!

Update: Mrs. C. has told me in the strongest terms that Finger Quotin’ Margo’s sweater is fuschia, not “red.” Make of that what you will.