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Apartment 3-G, 10/10/06

Even the visible-stage-direction-happy artists at Apartment 3-G can’t figure out a way to show that Lu Ann’s lips are moving as she reads Alan’s letter, so they’ve decided to just have her read it aloud to an empty room.

Ignoring Lu Ann’s tendency towards single noble tears, I’m sort of intrigued by the sentence structure of Alan’s missive. It could be read as “I hope it’s not too late to say, ‘I love you, Alan.'” Then, when she reads that part aloud, Alan could jump out of a closet and say “Ha ha, you do love me! You admit it! Sucker!” and head out to go have sex with one of his barely-legal art groupies, laughing all the way.

Mary Worth, 10/10/06

So, due to crappy coloring, it took me a minute to figure out what’s going on here: That little soliloquy in the second panel is of course emerging from Ian, and you can see the stem pointing from the word balloon at his big fat head just above Toby’s tresses. But somehow another balloon stem seems to be emerging from the tree upon which Wilbur is resting one of his hairy mitts. The effect implies that Dr. Cameron, failing to get his accomplices to join in with him in a four-part harmony of condescension, has chosen to co-bloviate with the local flora.

Mark Trail, 10/10/06

Wow, remember when this storyline was about poachers and tiger penises and Kelly Welly’s unquenchable sexual urges? Now it’s all about the wacky adventures of Molly, the lovable bear … with an nose for trouble! You just know she’s going to wander off and, I don’t know, maul a baby or something, and then not understand the hostility towards her, and then Mark will have to bail her out of trouble and everyone will laugh and say, “Ho, ho, that’s our Molly!” And then there will be scenes from next week’s episode, with special guest star Tim Conway. I’m totally OK with this change of focus, you understand, but I’d sort of like to be informed of when Kelly gets tired of Ranger Rick and casts him aside, a broken man.

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Hey, everybody! I’ve rearranged the Comics Curmudgeon store over at CafePress. Go check it out! Everything is now in categories for your convenience, leaving the front page a lot less cluttered.

Now, here’s the thing. I haven’t actually taken advantage of my store’s newfound ability to have multiple logos on the same kind of garment … yet. This is because I’m kind of lazy and the interface for designing new products is kind of clunky. So here’s how this is going to work. Go over to the store, click on the amusing bit of whimsy that you’re interested in sporting on an item of clothing of some kind, and see if any of the stuff already for sale meets your needs. If not, just send me an e-mail letting me know what sort of thing you’d rather have. (You can find a list of the clothes available here, and there’s more crap here.) I should have it up within 24 hours. You could also just leave your request as a comment on this thread, but if you send me mail I’ll be able to write you personally when the item you requested is available. Sounds good? You know it does.

Oh yeah, and anyone who loves Mary Worth (which, I assume, is ALL OF YOU) ought to check out faithful commentor Smitty Q. Smedlap’s latest blog post on the subject.

UPDATE: So it turns out that not all the CafePress schwag at that second link is available for me to slap logos on in my store. Sorry ’bout that. I was looking forward to selling Aldomania flasks as much as you were looking forward to buying them.

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For Better Or For Worse, 10/9/06

Well! The witnesses need to stay in town, you say? That sure is inconvenient for any of the witnesses that might have out-of-town boyfriends that they’re trying to build a relationship with! And plenty convenient for total losers who have nowhere else to go but might be able to wear down the objects of their affection with their constant mewly, schlumpy presence! Yes, it appears that every aspect of Liz’s near-rape ordeal has been calculated to ease Anthony’s wooing process. Years from now, they had better have a good child therapist on retainer for the moment when their kids finally ask the inevitable “So how did you guys finally get together” question.

Note also that Anthony is staring at Liz’s ass in the first panel.

I’d say that we’re at least going to get an introduction to Canada’s fascinating, British-derived legal system out of all this, but surely the only law this strip will be obeying is the Law of Narrative Convenience. For starters, who exactly is this bald fellow our power couple is talking to? Ontario’s official Junior Minister for Exposition?

B.C., 10/9/06

Things this deranged B.C. might possibly mean:

1. Columbus’ actions upon his “discovery” of Hispaniola began a legacy of enslavement and genocide that forever tainted the European colonial enterprise in the Americas.
2. What we need are more leaders like Columbus, who don’t let considerations of “political correctness” prevent them from getting done what needs to be done.
3. Them colored folk sure are good at the ball games.
4. MADNESS MADNESS MADNESS

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/9/06

“Elvis.” Huh. I … I don’t think any of us were expecting that. Well played, Rex Morgan, well played.