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As I noted last month, sometimes my ISP puts comments that it suspects to be spam into a queue. I have to sign off on said comments in order for them to appear on the site. I urged you then to not panic and/or repost your comment a jillion times if it does not appear as soon as you post it. This advice has largely gone unheeded, which means that I often have to figure out which out of seven or eight near-identical comments to approve. So, here’s a tip for y’all: one word that seems to guarantee indefinite detention in Comment Guantanomo Bay is that acronym beloved by spamming pornographers and lonely perverted comics readers alike: MILF. WoodrowFan in a comment proposed CILF as a non-filter-triggering alternative (with the C standing for cartoon). So go nuts, sleazebags!

Update: Apparently the innocent toponym Milford also gets caught, by association. Thanks to daChipster for the detective work. As a euphemism for Milford, I suggest the phrase poorly drawn hell on Earth.

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Mary Worth, 6/3/05

Watch out, Mary! See those rage lines radiating off of Rita’s shoulders and fists, and the painful rictus of anger twisting her face in panel one? She’s about to transform into some kind of Incredible Hulk-style superpowered destructive force of sulking, whining, and codependence! In all my Mary Worth-reading years, there’s been only one other character who’s evidenced this kind of limb-vibrating emotional instability:

Tommy at least had the drugs to blame. You can tell Mary is terrified of her new roommate because her normally impeccable grammar is slipping — normally she’d offer a patrician “Why is that, Rita?” rather than the teenybopper-style “Like, how come?” Unless she’s so freaked out that she’s babbling in some kind of fake-o how-kemo-sabe Indian dialect: “How come Rita into apartment with me? Me scared she break things!”

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/2/05

They can gussy it up with the fancy camera angles, but this supposedly tense confrontation scene would be a lot tenser if its antagonists were anyone other than these two clowns. Royal’s epic combover only thinly disguises the fact that his face is clearly modeled on Peter Lorre, which means that I can’t help but think that his voice is modeled on Peter Lorre, which means that I find everything he says hilarious. Peter Lorre could be forcing me to dig my own grave at gunpoint and I would find his voice funny. “Oh, hurry up, you! Stop laughing and keep deeging!”

Dr. Hamilton, meanwhile, apparently decided that the best thing to wear for his face-off with evil would be his grandpa-style fishin’ hat. Frankly, I’m beginning to think that Fence Post Frank is off the hook for this heinous crime: surely if some soft-handed fancy pants like Royal Gilstrap tried to retain his skull-bashing services, he’d be too busy laughing at his funny voice to seal the deal.

Earlier this week, Dr. Hamilton threatened to “destroy” Royal if the latter had anything to do with Buck’s comatose state. Hey, Professor, if you had managed to snag a few grand worth of funding for the young man, maybe he wouldn’t have to whore himself out to the artifact-trading underworld to keep himself in hoodies and stubble mascara. Just a thought.