Comment of the Week

Is Dr. Jeff's 'again’ meant to indicate that he's already (willfully?) forgotten what Mary's told him, or does it display his belief that Wilbur's life is a karmic circle of disasters that are superficially varied but basically the same thing happening to him over and over?

Pozzo

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Methinks that something is not adding up here in the long and winding saga of Anna and her reproductive organs. Let’s review the facts as we know them:

  • Anna was convinced of her own infertility.
  • Anna is now pregnant and was until today completely unaware that men could be infertile, which means that she never consulted any reasonably competent medical authority about her delicate condition.

Thus, it seems Anna drew her conclusions about her own inability to bring forth progeny the old-fashioned way: by knowing the sweet physical touch of love without either using birth control or giving birth.

But this seems to conflict with another known fact:

  • Anna’s first husband “wasn’t interested” in starting a family.

So, we can come up with speculations about the sordid, barren lie that was Anna’s first marriage:

  • Anna was not taking birth control and lying about it in an attempt to fill her aching loneliness with a little squaller who would provide her existence with some semblance of meaning.
  • Anna’s husband knew about his own manly inadequacies but kept them to himself, so as to keep screeching infants out of his house, mask his own failures, and send his trusting wife into a shame spiral from which she has yet to escape.

It’s also possible that Anna has a pre-first-marriage past that included lots of accidental or on-purpose non-maritally-sanctioned non-birth-controlled sex. It’s also possible that she’s just dumber than a sack of hammers, seeing as she apparently needs a doctor’s help to pee on a stick. I have to admit that I like her groovy polka-dotted shirt, though.

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In a desperate attempt to stay up-to-date on the dailies, I offer you: “Seven sentences about four comics.”

Mark Trail, 3/24/05

Fresh from battling drug dealers, Mark will now have to choose between making either a famous celebrity or this crazy old hermit cry. I see it as a win-win.

Momma, 3/25/05

Number of Terry Schiavo-inspired jokes spotted in the comics pages: 1. Number of tasteful and/or funny Terry Schiavo-inspired jokes spotted in comics pages: 0.

B.C., 3/26/05

OK, I know I just said this, but it bears repeating. “What the fuck?”

For Better Or For Worse, 3/27/05

On Easter, this comic makes the risen Christ weep.

(And don’t worry, I’ll pick the best of the haikus soon, I promise…)

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Various real-world demands on my time will probably keep me from catching up on my comics for a bit. However, to keep you all amused in the iterim, faithful reader Tim Begley has a great idea: comics haikus! Go ahead and post your favorite comics-based haiku in the comments to this post. Tim gets us started:

Old hubby shoots blanks
Brian Good has super sperm
Anna gets his ‘gun’

The best of the best get posted in a future metapost. Now go to it!