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Mark Trail, 4/10/05

Did you know that “Mark Trail” is actually an Estonian word? It’s derived from “Mark,” meaning “smug,” and “Trail,” meaning “tsunami-surviving bastard.” Yes, after four meticulous months of research and the painstaking artistic rendering of piles of smashed old-timey trucks and devastated ’50s-era mill towns, Mark Trail has unleashed its Very Special Tsunami Episode. I love how Mark stands idly by in the first few panels as death and destruction runs rampant mere feet away. I also like the fact that all of his advice ends with “run to high ground.” Weird-looking cloud on the horizon? Run to high ground! No lifeguards at the beach? Run to high ground! Goateed Indian artifacts dealers skulking about? For God’s sake, run to high ground!

Also, good advice on waiting for the all clear on NOAA weather radio. Unless you’re one of the ignorant few who doesn’t know what station NOAA weather radio is on. Or, God forbid, you live in some filthy third-world hellhole that doesn’t even have an NOAA. In which case, screw you, tsunami-bait.

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You know why Thursday, Friday, and Saturday’s comics haven’t been posted yet and wont be posted in the future? Because they aren’t worthy of my genuis. Also: I’m lazy. There’s a Sunday comic that I just can’t say no to, however — coming your way in mere moments.

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Mary Worth, 4/6/05

As one of the New Kids on the Block once so memorably put it: I love love, and I hate hate. But seeing days and days of Brian and Anna mewling and agreeing and assuring each other of their eternal, unconditional love, sitting there in their matching electric blue pants on their hideous turquoise couch — well, it’s enough to begin to make a guy hate love, and, conversely, love hate. If Anna’s unexpected (and I shudder to even type these words) “honeymoon baby” proved that any problem will go away if ignore it long enough, then Dr. Brian’s loving, nurturing, caring response to Anna apparently proves that difficult news is always best shared after it suddenly and magically becomes no longer a problem. All I know is that if this conversation doesn’t make Anna want to hurl, she’s in for a fairly easy pregnancy.