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Hi and Lois, 10/11/04

The Middletons, 10/11/04

Maybe there ought to be some kind of online database where comic artists can post a schedule of the gags they plan to use. It might prevent embarrassing moments like these. At least the dialogue in Hi and Lois sounds like something a normal human would actually say; “the oldies rock ‘n’ roll” is a phrase that seems to have come from someone who is almost, but not quite, fluent in idiomatic English.

Fun fact about Hi and Lois: Lois is actually Beetle Bailey’s sister. That’s right, Hi and Lois is actually a spin-off, like Frasier or Maude. Lois and her brother haven’t spoken in years, though, perhaps because of her anti-military radicalism.

Fun fact about The Middletons: There are no fun facts about The Middletons.

Today’s linkback goes to a blogger known as leathermessiah, who was nice enough to say that “those of you who have not yet experienced the wonder that is Josh Reads The Comics So You Don’t Have To, I command that you do so immediately if not sooner.” Yeah! Also, today’s most alarming search result, on AOLSearch: “free Miss Buxley Blondie porn comics sex”. America Online: Connecting perverts with smut since 1995.

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Peanuts, 10/10/04

Never mind your adorable plush Linus dolls and your Snoopy-branded Met Life insurance policy, Peanuts is one of the grimmest strips in comic history. Charlie Brown’s running battle with Lucy and the football is of course well known, but in today’s rerun the whole thing is layered with overtones of Old Testament fatalism. Usually Charlie Brown attempts to at least talk himself into the idea that this time, somehow, Lucy isn’t going to pull the football away at the last minute; but today, as his grim aspect in the rightmost panel in the second row indicates, he has no illusions about the ultimate outcome of this exercise. Like Isaiah, he can rage against it all he wants, but he knows what he’s got coming. The vision of ruined cities, plucked from one of the Bible’s less uplifting passages, is a nice touch. It’s cheery stuff.

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Family Circus, 10/9/04

This has to be the meanest thing I’ve ever seen in the Family Circus. Dad smiles at his own cruel taunt, but little Billy’s face, contorted in a rictus of rage, shows that he’s now at the age where such make-believe games no longer soothe the sting of forced child labor. You can’t spend leaves at the store, Dad, and I’m guessing you’re not coughing up any real money at the end of this chore, either. Decades from now, someone’s going to be describing this moment to a therapist.

Comics sweatshop watch: no doubt the hapless soul who did the coloring for this strip is shackled to a drafting table somewhere in the steamy tropics, and can therefore be forgiven for making those fallen leaves a vibrant, mid-summer green.