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Judge Parker, 5/28/05

I’m not going to stoop to the level of certain commentors and go into the homoerotic subtext in panel one here (mostly because said commentors have already beat me to it). Rather, I’d just like to hold this strip up as a an example of Judge Parker’s overwhelming lameness. After having the prospect of exciting jungle adventures dangled in front of us for weeks now, we finally get the payoff today in the form of … red-hot auto stuck-in-the-mud action! Taste the excitement! I assume that Le Doux and/or Wilson think they’re being all graphically cutting edge with the two-panel-spanning VAROOOM, and with Sam’s small-print, squiggly-tailed word balloon, which is intended to illustrate his long-suffering attitude but just ends up looking like a grateful sperm. Fortunately for Sam, while his shirt and forearm hair are caked with filthy Mexican mud, his electric blue trousers are unsullied.

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Mary Worth, 5/27/05

This may be the moment that Mary Worth aficionados have been waiting for their whole lives: the day when Mary’s meddlin’ comes back to haunt her. No longer can she throw some meddle-bombs into other people’s lives and then retreat to the quiet, tastefully decorated sanctuary of her Charterstone digs; now she has to balance the joy of every act of interference against the possibility that her victim will show up at her door with all her life possessions, possibly drunk and wearing electric blue slacks.

This storyline is obviously going to bear close scrutiny, but for now my major comment is: check out the gams on Mary in panel one! R-r-r-o-w! Short skirts like that give Dr. Jeff the strength he needs to endure week-long, platitude-filled boat rides.

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Spider-Man, 5/26/05

Yeah, so here’s the thing, MJ: Your husband has super powers. He’s single-handedly saving the special effects department millions. As for you, we’re not even sure you’re a real redhead.