There’s a reason she needed to be “rescued”
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/1/05

It’s also a dog who will crap on the floor a lot. I’m just warning you.
I eat again at the so-called Soul Food place, and yet again I fail to consume a soul. Am I misinterpreting the signs, or is this place lying to me? The owner pries into my writing. I tell him only truth, and he seems troubled. Perhaps his soul is troubled. I could calm it. I could devour it. His partner is nowhere to be seen. The restaurant is empty. Today I will eat soul food.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/1/05

It’s also a dog who will crap on the floor a lot. I’m just warning you.
Shoe, 12/31/04

OK, never mind the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — what’s the most recent year in which a joke about Shirley MacLaine’s belief in reincarnation would have been funny?
Hah! Trick question. The correct answer is never.
Mark Trail, 12/30/04

White powder? Referred to as “stuff”? And … am I crazy … or is that a package wrapped in brown paper she’s reaching for? It’s too good to be true!