Comment of the Week

Tune in tomorrow as Rev. Croom embarks on a new life of selective observance. He'll dine and dash (thou shalt not steal), covet Herb's wife, murder Jamaal, and make a graven image, but he'll at least call his mom to wish her a happy birthday (honor thy father and mother). The funnies haven't been this theologically bold since Judge Parker financed the construction of a giant needle big enough for a dozen camels to thread.

Abram Beazer

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/13/05

I think we need to go a little easier on no-bucks Buck the grad student and his Arafat-esque perpetual stubble. In this sequence, we can see that, in addition to some antibiotics for his filthy wound, June has apparently lent Buck one of her husband’s razors: his face in panel one is so smooth that he looks like a teenage girl headed for her first Pat Benetar concert, circa 1983. Yet mere moments later, those baby-butt-smooth cheeks look more like the saggy tuckus of your fiftysomething Uncle Larry, which is to say: covered with hair. Clearly he’s got some sort of glandular condition and doesn’t deserve our constant mockery.

On the other hand, he could very easily push those stray hairs out of his face. I can only guess that he’s hoping that they’ll drive Mrs. Dr. M. crazy and that she’ll eventually gently move them aside for him … their touch will be electric and she’ll suddenly been overwhelmed by the feelings of loneliness, the aching, the longing … fortunately for all concerned, Fence Post Frank is there to chaperone. Unless he’s busy burying little what’s-her-face, who we haven’t seen in quite a while, in the backyard with all the other skeletons.

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Non Sequitur, 3/12/05

So, let me get this straight:

  • Astrology is a bunch of fake, made-up mumbo-jumbo designed to amuse and prey upon the weak minded;
  • But when you die, its a scientifically verifiable fact that you end up in line in a light-bathed cloudscape, waiting to talk to a guy with wings and a halo.

At least that’s what I’m getting out of this.

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Mary Worth, 3/11/05

Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary: never has your evil plotting been so involved, or so fruitful in human misery. After doing her darndest to push together barren Anna and baby-crazed Dr. Brian, now — now — she’s all “honesty” and “open communication” and what have you. Instead of, you know, a few months ago, when her advice involved surreptitious homewrecking. She’s no doubt besides herself with glee at the trouble that’s about to ensue here. For her sake, we need to hope that Anna doesn’t catch on and strangle her with her own kicky pink cravat.

Look at Dr. Brian’s open, excited expression in panel two: he’s rarin’ to go for another round of baby-making magic! Meanwhile, Anna’s stoic look in panel one shows that she’s grimly resigned to enduring tonight’s fertilization-themed pillow talk from the good doctor.