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Non Sequitur, 3/12/05

So, let me get this straight:

• Astrology is a bunch of fake, made-up mumbo-jumbo designed to amuse and prey upon the weak minded;
• But when you die, its a scientifically verifiable fact that you end up in line in a light-bathed cloudscape, waiting to talk to a guy with wings and a halo.

At least that’s what I’m getting out of this.

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Mary Worth, 3/11/05

Oh, Mary, Mary, Mary: never has your evil plotting been so involved, or so fruitful in human misery. After doing her darndest to push together barren Anna and baby-crazed Dr. Brian, now — now — she’s all “honesty” and “open communication” and what have you. Instead of, you know, a few months ago, when her advice involved surreptitious homewrecking. She’s no doubt besides herself with glee at the trouble that’s about to ensue here. For her sake, we need to hope that Anna doesn’t catch on and strangle her with her own kicky pink cravat.

Look at Dr. Brian’s open, excited expression in panel two: he’s rarin’ to go for another round of baby-making magic! Meanwhile, Anna’s stoic look in panel one shows that she’s grimly resigned to enduring tonight’s fertilization-themed pillow talk from the good doctor.

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For Better Or For Worse, 3/10/05

Jeez, April, make your mind! First you’re horrified by and judgmental of Becky’s slutty, slutty ways, then you’re boasting to your older brother about the fact that you woo men into naughty thoughts with your hot, just-barely-post-pubescent bod. It’s wrong on so very many levels.

According to the official FBOFW Website, April was introduced into the strip when Lynn Johnston had yearnings to have another kid. I guess it’s a sort of artistic integrity to have her wish-fulfillment creation become the most difficult of the bunch to manage and keep out of the free clinic. (Though I guess they’re all free in Canada, eh?)

Meanwhile, once I got past the boastings of little miss jailbait (or, as they say in Quebec, “petite mademoiselle amorce de prison”), I became rather fascinated with Michael’s reactions to things. There’s something weird and stilted about his dialogue here (“Hooo!” “You, April … are my baby sister!”). It becomes extremely hilarious if you imagine Bill Cosby (preferably as Cliff Huxtable) reading the text. It even works with his weird “slow burn” look in the last panel.

Anyway, this strip is amusing in its own right and a welcome respite from the days and days of “Thérèse is an evil, evil, evil, evil person” we’ve had to endure all week so far. Is this the sort of twisted psychosexual conversations that typically occur between siblings? Makes me glad to be an only child.