There’s a reason she needed to be “rescued”
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Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/1/05

It’s also a dog who will crap on the floor a lot. I’m just warning you.
Tune in tomorrow as Rev. Croom embarks on a new life of selective observance. He'll dine and dash (thou shalt not steal), covet Herb's wife, murder Jamaal, and make a graven image, but he'll at least call his mom to wish her a happy birthday (honor thy father and mother). The funnies haven't been this theologically bold since Judge Parker financed the construction of a giant needle big enough for a dozen camels to thread.
Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/1/05

It’s also a dog who will crap on the floor a lot. I’m just warning you.
Shoe, 12/31/04

OK, never mind the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — what’s the most recent year in which a joke about Shirley MacLaine’s belief in reincarnation would have been funny?
Hah! Trick question. The correct answer is never.
Mark Trail, 12/30/04

White powder? Referred to as “stuff”? And … am I crazy … or is that a package wrapped in brown paper she’s reaching for? It’s too good to be true!