The Comics Curmudgeon

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168

I’m on Mary’s side here, that stuff’s nasty

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Luann, 2/24/25

It’s been fun (“fun”) revisiting Luann for the first time in years and figuring out what’s changed (there are some new characters I guess) and what’s stayed the same (literally all the vibes and various plot cycles). Like, Luann is still falling for bland guys named “Phil” or whatever and losing her shit over performing basic social interactions. I do enjoy that Bernice is also still in her typical role, as the one to say “YES LUANN NOW THAT YOU’RE CHANGING THE NATURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GUY NAMED ‘PHIL’ OR WHATEVER THE STAKES ARE HIGHER AND THAT’S CAUSING HEIGHTENED ANXIETY, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, IS THIS NOT OBVIOUS TO YOU????” I find it soothing in the way that comics are quite frankly supposed to be.

Hi and Lois, 2/24/25

You know what’s not soothing? The way Dot’s head remains fixed facing the exact same direction between these two panels but her body turns completely around. This unnatural range of neck rotation plus her weird awkward embrace of the digitization of human souls tells me that she’s been replaced by some kind of advanced robot, or perhaps has been one all along.

Mary Worth, 2/24/25

I feel like the “your” in “How’s your vegan ice cream, Dawn?” is pretty key to understanding the dynamic here. “How’s your vegan ice cream, Dawn? The stuff that I went out of my way to obtain for you, to prove I’m better than your meat-pushing boyfriend? No, I won’t be eating it, of course. Ho ho ho. Me eating vegan ice cream. The very idea.”

141

Elder Sunday

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Crankshaft, 2/23/25

Wait, why does John need Crazy Harry’s help? By Spider-Man logic, if he had been bitten by a radioactive cleaning lady, shouldn’t he have gained the proportional strength and powers of a cleaning lady, including access to common cleaning lady tools like stepladders and the foresight to deploy them? Or are we actually operating on real-world logic, and after suffering a tragic bite he’s just feeling increasingly feeble and woozy, due to radiation poisoning?

Panel from Slylock Fox, 2/23/25

I really love the aside in the last sentence that Slylock can afford the more expensive wand. He makes good money as the Forest Kingdom’s primary enforcer, OK? He absolutely can throw away $8 on a whimsically shaped bubble-making wand if he wants to. In fact, he’s tempted to do so, even though it makes the same normal spherical bubbles the cheap one makes, just to conspicuously display his access to wealth. He’s not poor, got it????

Shoe, 2/23/25

“Also when I say ‘getting married’ I mean ‘making a suicide pact.’ Six of one, half a dozen of the other, amiright? Ha ha!”

110

Baffled Saturday

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Mark Trail, 2/22/25

Cherry’s family drama turned out to be even more dramatic than anticipated, and, as Mark makes clear in the final panel, it was no joking matter. Which is good because … nobody actually made any jokes? Mark, Cherry was doing very light quippery at best. Not sure you’re ready for jokes if you think that’s a joke! Do not watch any television comedies, you will be in trouble!

Six Chix, 2/22/25

Ha ha, it’s funny because … they think there are little people who live in their fitness trackers? And those little people go on lunch dates together? That’s a thing people might believe, humorously enough?

Hagar the Horrible, 2/22/25

Sadly, Hagar scratched at his nose so violently that it became infected, and as you can see it’s now badly gangrenous. Unfortunately Dr. Zook’s drastic behavioral intervention came too late!