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Mary Worth, 11/5/23

Wow, I guess all it takes is a little rejection from from his hitherto unknown daughter and long-ago ex girlfriend to get Keith to start spilling his guts to Mary, even though mere days ago he deemed her a busybody and tried his hardest to avoid her. Now, Mary is a lady who has repeatedly told women that they should work harder to maintain a relationship with Wilbur Weston, so I guess her advice to Keith to keep fighting isn’t surprising. I do question her tactics here, though. She doesn’t know anything about Keith’s service record. What if in one battle, after being pushed back by enemy forces, his unit had advanced again, only to be repulsed due to a lack of sufficient air support, with all his comrades in arms dying and leaving him with emotional wounds that will never heal? Or what if, despite the immediate success of the individual missions he participated in, Keith came to view the larger conflict as a misguided one, a waste of lives and ammunition for an unworthy cause? Why, he might not work his hardest to force his way into fatherhood at all, and that’s wholly unacceptable!

Hagar the Horrible, 11/5/23

Speaking of spilling your guts, I know the phrase is derived from vomiting, but I always think it has the implied hint of disembowelment, and that’s definitely where my mind would go if I were drawing a comic strip that hinges on the phrase where a guy is about to get brutalized by a bunch of axe-wielding Vikings.

Family Circus, 11/5/23

“As for the likeness of its faces, it had the face of a man, and the face of a lion, on the right side: and it had the face of an ox on the left side; and it also had the face of an eagle. And its appearance and its work was as it were a wheel in the middle of a wheel. As for its rings, they were so high that they were dreadful; and its rings were full of eyes round about them. It really freaked me out, can I sleep with you tonight?”

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Six Chix, 11/4/23

I love that these guys only reveal this wisdom back at home, probably hours later, when the other couple is well out of earshot. Figure it out yourself, losers! We’re not giving out marital advice for free!

Family Circus, 11/4/23

Say what you will about the Family Circus, but you gotta give respect where it’s due: this is by far the funniest way a child could describe a dead person.

Mary Worth, 11/4/23

NO KEITH NO

I KNOW YOU’RE IN A BAD PLACE BUT

IT’S NOT WORTH IT

IT’S NOT WORTH IT

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/2/23

Oh, fine, I guess Buzzy and Mud aren’t boxing Rene out of the profits from his own brainwashing scam, or are at least using a stock photo of him as part of the sales pitch. You can’t profit off your crimes, but nothing about the Mirakle Method itself was criminal: it’s not illegal to transform someone’s personality to the extent that he refuses to perform “Muddy Boots” for a theater full of roots country maniacs, though that may change if the bipartisan Play The Hits Act finally passes through Congress this year.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/2/23

Speaking of criminality, it’s always important to remember that Snuffy has done some really nasty stuff, things that would result in nationwide calls for his immediate arrest and execution if they were ever known to the public.

Mary Worth, 11/2/23

“Why was may attempt to conquer and occupy these women with deadly force repulsed? Was there a problem with our tactical execution? Were the strategies handed down from the officer corps inadequate? Or have I once again been betrayed by the politicians in Washington who aren’t fully committed to the mission?”

Hi and Lois, 11/2/23

Oh, is your kid’s little darndest-thing-saying making you world-weary there, Hi? Maybe you should do some self-reflection about why he’s more familiar with a slot machine than a bank.

Marvin, 11/2/23

I’m sure literally nobody out there has been wondering how Marvin’s grandfather’s friend’s marriage is going, but I’m here to tell you anyway: It’s not going well! It’s not going well at all.