Post Content

The Lockhorns, 6/12/20

One thing I never get tired of reminding my fellow Olds who have become accustomed to using “millennial” as a synonym for “teen” is that the youngest millennials are adults in their mid-20s at this point and the oldest ones are middle-aged fogies in their late 30s. And while it’s never clear exactly how old Leroy and Loretta are supposed to be, it’s fully possible that they are, in fact, millennials. Today’s joke, then, was clearly inevitable.

Six Chix, 6/12/20

Honestly, how long have you been a cat owner that you haven’t already viewed cat food as pre-poop?

Dennis the Menace, 6/12/20

Dennis is so solipsistic that he believes that everyone is either trying to communicate with him or waiting for him to communicate with them, with no other options. Extremely menacing.

Post Content

Folks, before we jump into me making fun of today’s comics, I wanted point you to an article I wrote about comics elsewhere! I talked to a bunch of comics artists about their decision to acknowledge — or ignore — the coronvirus pandemic’s effect on our everday lives, and it turned into a meditation on how time and history intersect with the ephemeral medium of newspaper comics. Check it out over on Polygon!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/11/20

We’re fully a week and a half into this “Rex tells Sarah about how he and June met” storyline and June hasn’t even shown up yet, and are you feeling, bored, huh? Do you think this storyline, and Rex Morgan, M.D., storylines in general, move too slowly? Do you wish they’d just get to the point already? Well, it sounds like you’re a big whiny baby, and not a cool supergenius baby who can figure out how to blackmail people, but a dumb baby who had amnesia and now doesn’t know anything anymore. Do you want to be a dumb baby? Do you? No? Then shut up and let this strip set up “context” for the next six to eight weeks, buddy.

Funky Winkerbean, 6/11/20

OK, there are kids of suffering that awful characters in Funky Winkerbean endure that I like and kinds of suffering that I don’t, and I’ve decided that this is the first kind. Do it, Mason! Watch the special secret tapes that were emotionally intimate and only for Les! Strip-mine his personal agony to make a virtuous but unwatchable movie, which is worse than Les strip-mining it himself to produce three virtuous but unreadable books, for some reason! Use Lisa’s corpse to burnish your millionaire action hero status with some indie cred and further your career! Take no prisoners!

Beetle Bailey, 6/11/20

Plato’s “Science Facts” pamphlet is four pages long, including the cover, which is an otherwise blank page that just has “Science Facts” written on it. This is one the saddest things I’ve ever seen.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 6/10/20

Well, it looks like Saul has allowed his … first-cousin-once-removed-in-law? … to browbeat him into serving as Madi’s guardian for the summer. What do you think their first fight is going to be about? Since Saul forced Greta to put on a bow tie to match his own even before he got her home from the shelter, I assume it will be about Madi’s refusal to wear a bow tie. Presumably she’ll eventually put it on, signaling the resolution of this storyline’s conflict, after she’s figured out how to make it “goth.”

Dennis the Menace, 6/10/20

Casually letting Mr. Wilson know that amazing things are happening all around him, but that he’s so steeped in anger and poisonous nostalgia that he’ll never be able to truly appreciate them, is by far the most menacing thing Dennis has ever done.