Mark Trail, 10/14/14
I got a lot of unsolicited feedback last week when I ignored Mark’s suggestion to Cherry that, after he finished fishing with Rusty, “maybe we could have target practice with the longbow.” Much of this feedback implied that “longbow” was a euphemism for something, probably something sexual in nature, and I refused to acknowledge these suggestions, for obvious reasons. Anyway, I’ll bet today’s strip sure has all you sickos feeling pretty foolish! Nothing erotic going on in today’s strip, just a couple of dudes talking about aligning their bodies and “release.” Mark originally proposed this as an activity he and Cherry could do together, but she’s actually nowhere to be seen, thank goodness.
Hi and Lois, 10/14/14
Hi and Lois has apparently decided to embrace its status as one of the squarest comics in syndication by just doing a whole week of “weren’t things different and maybe better in decades past?” Yesterday we had “Cars sure were larger and less fuel efficient back when gas was cheaper”; today we’ve got “remember when everyone used to watch TV, before the entertainment options available today existed?” Super psyched to see if they can drag this out for another four days!
Momma has long been fascinated by parliamentary systems of government, and has indeed used a close variation on this joke pretty recently. Today’s strip does include one new element, though: Momma and MaryLou’s odd shared thought balloon. “Fair and square,” they both think in panel one, back when everyone is optimistic about how this debate is going to go, back before it was revealed that Momma thinks it’s “fair” to usurp executive power without receiving a vote of confidence from the democratically elected representatives of the people.
Aww, isn’t that cute, Mr. Dithers #gets #hashtags now! Unfortunately, the Blondie creative team doesn’t really #get that Twitter is not a texting or instant messaging service. Also, they didn’t manage to secure their #brand on this #social platform, seeing as @dagwood is actually a professor at Northwestern and @dithers is some guy who hasn’t tweeted since 2013!
Better Half, 10/12/14
Like the Lockhorns, the Better Half just churns out a bunch of individual panels to fill its extra allotment of Sunday space. Unlike the Lockhorns, the Better Half attempts to link the panels together; they never create any coherent storyline, but rather present disconnected moments that circle around a few linked themes like some kind of avant garde non-narrative film. The sense of psychic dislocation this produces is really ramped up today, as all the jokes center on teeth, and dirty teeth, and tiny magical beings who come to you in the dead of night while your spouse is asleep and want to take your teeth.
Mark Trail, 10/12/14
“There are thousands of kinds of snakes, they are everywhere, and lots of them are poisonous and one kind can just straight up strangle a crocodile, as depicted in this nightmarish drawing. Also, about a third of people have this weird, irrational fear of them for some reason!”
Welp, looks like the Hobbes family is about to be conquered and enslaved, assuming they survive the devastating diseases against which they have no immunity! Everyone is right to look horrified, in other words.
You guys, today’s Momma illustrates a very important point: when you tell old people about how the Kids Today do things, make sure you explain all the details and don’t assume they can fill in the blanks. Like, if you say “oh, Kids Today like to send each other pictures of themselves when they’re dating,” make sure they know those pictures are on their cell phones, because otherwise you end up with comic setups like “Momma, a cute boy I met today gave me some pictures of himself! Like, actual, physical pictures! Where did he even get them?” Anyway, today’s strip takes a quick turn from “wacky out of touch follies” to “what is even going on here” as Momma … encourages MaryLou to send some other girl’s picture back? Even though the boy has already seen MaryLou? Despite all this, the thing that most unsettles me about this strip is the fact that MaryLou is wearing a baseball hat. Does she usually wear baseball hats? I don’t think she does.
Look at that face! Is Crankshaft experiencing shame? Is that even physically possible?
Funky Winkerbean, 10/9/14
“By the way … happy anniversary. I got you some passive aggression!”