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Comics archive! Momma

There’s been a lot more Family Circuses lately depicting adults depressed to be in contact with children, and I’m NOT COMPLAINING

Family Circus, 8/16/15

I like to think I’m a fairly modest person, but I will say this: because I’m both a tech writer and a comics blogger, nobody in the world is better equipped than I am to meticulously document when legacy syndicated newspaper comic strips make jokes about bitcoin. So here’s the Family Circus’s offering, coming in the wake of Six Chix and Barney Google and Snuffy Smith. I think it’s pretty clear, based on our put-upon ice cream man’s outfit, that this is a reprinted comic from the ’70s or ’80s, which leaves the question open as to what sketchy financial instrument was originally used in that word bubble. Junk bonds? Pet rocks?

Judge Parker, 8/16/15

I freely admit to not understanding at all the financial details of the whatever business partnership Neddy has established with Rocky and Godiva, and one of the points I understand the very least is why all of the sudden Rocky started agreeing to pay for everything a while back. Something about that being the price for letting him publish his tell-all book about being married to Godiva? Anyway, I’d like to think that he and his checkbook’s abrupt departure corresponded exactly to the moment when retail sales of said book began. Next week may depict the most shocking event in the history of Judge Parker: a Spencer-Driver paying for something with her own money.

Momma, 8/16/15

I am not comfortable with that knowing, self-satisfied look MaryLou is giving us here. “What Momma doesn’t know is that I’m living with a man! Did you guess? A man? A man who wears a baseball hat and a tie, and leaves his sporting equipment scattered around the house? Get it? And we’re fucking? A man?”

Friday quickies

Hi and Lois, 8/7/15

Vaguely Punk Rock Drummer’s concerns about his coolness factor maybe should be focused closer to home, considering his bandmates are a guy in sailor cap and law school t-shirt and a guy wearing a cowboy outfit and sunglasses indoors.

Momma, 8/7/15

This bank manager is sweating for very good reason, as he has a completely fruitless afternoon of trying to explain how mortgages work ahead of him.

Shoe, 8/7/15

“Ha ha, here’s a hilarious dad joke I just thought up!” –a supposedly magical wizard who you hoped could solve the huge, catastrophic problem that looms over our society, but nobody can solve that problem, nobody but us, and we certainly aren’t going to do it

Rusty’s conservation status: Extremely vulnerable

Mark Trail, 7/12/15

“Mark, that old grizzly is in the backyard again!”

“Cherry, did you know that there are only eight species of bears on earth?”

“Well, yes. But that grizzly is acting strange and kind of aggressive. Say, have you seen Rusty?”

“With their conservation status listed as ‘vulnerable,’ sun bears are struggling to survive in the jungles of Southeast Asia.”

“Wait … oh no! Rusty’s outside! Rusty, no! Don’t alarm that old bear!”

“Despite being the smallest of the bear species, they can extend their tongues out nearly 10 inches when trying to reach a meal of bees, termites, ants, beetle larvae, or honey.”

“No, Rusty, oh God! That bear is so hungry!

“While living in jungles provides plenty of food for sun bears and there is no need to hibernate, tigers and snakes are occasional dangers…”

“My father is running out to help him — dad, it’s not worth it! It’s already too late!”

“However, their biggest threat comes from mankind through habitat loss and commercial uses such as traditional medicines and the pet trade.”

“Oh god, it’s got my father! My poor father! He’s locked his jaws around him! I can’t look! And all you can talk about it … sun bears …” [choking sobs]

Panels from Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/12/15

Good ol’ Abbey has been a beloved member of the Morgan family for more than a decade but hasn’t gotten a lot of panel time lately. I do appreciate her extremely skeptical expression in panel two here though. “Wait, you want me to fight wild animals for you? Oh, hell no. I weigh, what, fifteen pounds? Twenty, tops?”

Mary Worth, 7/12/15

I was going to make a joke about Adam having won over Terry “so soon,” but I guess it has only been three and a half months, which isn’t really that long in the grand scheme of things. Man, it feels like forever, doesn’t it?

Momma, 7/12/15

Real talk: Momma would have her children killed, mummified, and entombed with her like an Egyptian pharaoh if she could.