Wizard of Id, 11/17/14
Happy 50th birthday, Wizard of Id! You’ve spent half a century churning out quasi-medieval whimsy to the delight of several, and show no signs of stopping, so by all means let your mildly beloved characters pause and take a bow. Many of today’s other strips also paid tribute to this testament of syndicated comics longevity!
Mother Goose and Grimm, 11/17/14
Mother Goose and Grimm decided to celebrate Wizard of Id’s penchant for using the literal torture of human beings as a punchline. I was going to say that torture was “a big part of the Wizard of Id brand” but that was a little uncomfortably on the nose.
Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 11/17/14
Looks like all this devilish wizardry in the newspaper is tempting Hootin’ Holler’s youth into lives of service to satan! This is what you get when the federal gummint overstretches its reach to outlaw local traditions like stoning blasphemers.
Family Circus, 11/17/14
The Family Circus rather ungraciously implies that the strip is best enjoyed by babies and other illiterates.
Meanwhile, Dagwood doesn’t even bother to acknowledge the cake-gratulations (I JUST INVENTED THAT, © AND ™ JOSH FRUHLINGER, DO NOT STEAL) this bakery is offering because he’s so focused on buying his wife precisely the gift that he wants to eat.
Hi and Lois, 11/17/14
Finally, the Wiz looms in the background in panel two here as some sort of pop art painting, as Chip realizes that his parents’ dysfunctional marriage will forever compromise his ability to love.
Some strips did bravely ignore this important industry anniversary, however:
Judge Parker, 11/17/14
Our heroes in Judge Parker have decided to hunker down and get as drunk as possible, in the hopes that once they sober up all their problems will have resolved themselves.
Funky Winkerbean, 11/17/14
And Funky Winkerbean promises that the next week will consist entirely of hardcore Bushka family sex scenes. Stay tuned!
Apartment 3-G, 10/15/14
GUYS! Remember how Margo’s mother used to be a fiery Latina/cringe-inducing ethnic stereotype but then sometime last year she became enWASPenated and also stopped dying her hair? Well, this wasn’t a continuity error, but rather a seed planted to set up a future storyline a mere twenty months later! QUICK RECAP OF MARGO’S FAMILY BACKSTORY: her wealthy dad Martin was married to Roberta, but knocked up Gabriella the maid, and then Roberta raised Margo as her own but obviously fell into a pit of seething resentment and went crazy, trying to kill Martin before being shipped off to a private loony bin upstate. Oh yeah, and at some point before that, Martin and Gabriella got back together, sexually. Reconnecting with her former wealthy employer is bringing up her deep-seated Ethnic Shame, I guess? Really looking forward to whatever kind of wacky My Fair Lady situation she’s gotten herself into. Will Martin have to fight her sinister deracinating svengali for her love?
Spider-Man could’ve have made sure this dangerous criminal was put back behind bars, but the guy did help him when their interests briefly aligned, so he’ll just settle for brutally knocking him unconscious! This is actually a step up from his usual complete failure to achieve anything, but it’s still a dick move on multiple fronts.
Wizard of Id, 10/15/14
Probably the best perk of being a syndicated newspaper comic is that if you get tremendously smug about coming up with a terrible bit of pun-esque wordplay, everyone gets to know about it.
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Wizard of Id, 9/2/14
Do you think the Wizard makes his own coffee? I don’t think the Wizard makes his own coffee.
So here’s how mornings go down in the Ofid household: when the rooster goes off Wiz casually throws a frogspell into Blanche there and hits snooze for a couple more Zs. Blanche hops wetly to the kitchen and struggles to get the coffee started. Nothing works: she slides around on the linoleum, her webbed fingers don’t grip the matches, eyes aren’t wired to see anything that isn’t moving, and she reflexively splots every fly – and these are the Middle Ages so FLIES, yo. Finally she gets the job done and sits down to have a cup and wash out the fly taste. She’s way past expecting thanks or even courtesy but could she at least have her goddamn window back you asshole?
Mark Trail, 9/2/14
Dirty, Dirty, Dirty, you just can’t catch a break with these stampedes, can you? It’s like recurring psoriasis, only with charismatic megafauna.
And c’mon, Mark – those elephants are already headed away from you in the first panel. Admit it, you’re doing this for fun.
Pluggers can’t understand why looters don’t get free delivery.
Funky Winkerbean, 9/2/14
It’s not Les Moore it’s not Les Moore it’s not Les Moore it’s not Les Moore it’s not Les Moore ….
Westward Bound! Day Seven
So hey. Yeah, Josh and Amber arrive in LA late tomorrow God willing but that doesn’t mean you get your precious Josh back QUITE so fast no siree. There are households to unload; laid-back California ISPs to bribe, cajole, and threaten; and sleep debts to pay off.
The fundraiser ends when they arrive in LA (Hurry! Thanks!), but I’ll stay on a bit. The plan is for me to post through Friday and Josh to return with COTW sometime that afternoon. But you know what happens to plans, right? — they gang aft agley, that’s what. I’ll keep you posted.
– Uncle Lumpy