Archive: Judge Parker

Post Content

Hi and Lois, 3/18/26

Look, we’re all adults here. Well, maybe some of you are weird kids with grown-up taste in ironic internet websites, I don’t know, but my point is, let’s ignore Trixie’s insipid heliocentric rambling and turn our eyes to the fun little domestic drama in panel one. Check out how beaten down and defeated Hi looks; that’s a man who has passive-aggressively talked about high energy bills for weeks even as time slips further and further into air conditioning season; and rather than be gracious after he’s given in, Lois is doing a little pantomime of concern: “Oh, but can we afford it, Hi? Will we need to dip into the children’s college fund, in order to keep the temperature in here below 80 degrees?” My own natural thrift puts me tentatively on Hi’s side here, but they could be taking other steps, like following Trixie’s lead and pricing solar panels, or at least taking off their sweaters.

Judge Parker, 3/18/26

One of my least favorite little narrative devices is when some character makes a daring and self-destructive move in order to achieve some goal, and then comes out on top against all odds, but when he does, announces that he understands he shouldn’t have done it in the first place. This happens more often than you’d think, and it’s especially annoying in cases like this, when Randy is like “I’m a bad person! I’ve suffered nothing for my choices and actually had a pretty cool time getting broken out of prison by my hot, murderous wife, but I just want to apologize for my wrongs! Probably my daughter doesn’t love me anymore, right? Whatever, she’s someone else’s problem now, which, uh, I again acknowledge I should feel bad about.”

Luann, 3/18/26

A thing about the comic strip Luann is that sometimes you’ll get a whole week’s worth of strips where one character just passive-aggressively talks shit about another character within earshot of them. And the shit-talker is the one you’re supposed to be sympathetic towards. It’s wild stuff!

Post Content

Herb and Jamaal, 2/25/26

I assumed those plewds were supposed to be sweat, but then Herb mentions “crying” in the last panel and that sets up a much funnier possibility, which is that they’re tears and he’s fully dissociated from himself, his body weeping openly due to stress and unexpected exertion but his mind managing to hold a coherent conversation for at least a few minutes, before he presumably shuts down entirely.

Judge Parker, 2/25/26

Not satisfied with all the people she killed in the massive explosion that heralded her arrival, April is now straight-up gutting a dude like a fish, right in front of her beloved, soft-handed husband. Weird how the awful last sound the guy will ever make is exactly the same one that Charlie Brown makes when he tries and fails to kick a football that Lucy is holding, honestly!

Luann, 2/25/26

This one could have been drawn to make it clear that Frank is chuckling ruefully over his unrealistic youthful fantasies and obviously realizes now that being a faithful husband and father is more rewarding than some burnout musician lifestyle. But that is not his facial expression at all. He still 100% wishes he was in a band and resents every single person in this room for holding him back.

Post Content

Shoe, 2/22/26

One of the ways that doing this blog over two decades has turned me into an actual insane person is that I feel obligated to speak up for strip lore that the strip’s creators and/or hired-hand continuators have forgotten. For instance, the way the Shoeniverse traditionally worked is that the bird characters ate lunch at Roz’s, which is an open air diner on a tree branch, and complained about the cooking, and in the evenings got drunk at a fern bar, which is a building with a roof on it, and tried to have sex with one another. Lately, though, it seems like the locations are getting conflated and there are more and more strips where the characters are getting drunk at Roz’s, and I don’t care for it. I’ve been consoling myself with the idea that these are still daytime strips and the bird characters are just so depressed these days that they’re openly getting blotto at lunch, but the dialogue here establishes this as an evening recreational drinking binge, so my concerns are clearly justified.

Judge Parker, 2/22/26

Oh, man, remember how April disappeared and then Randy went off to rescue her and also disappeared? Well, now it looks like she is gonna end up rescuing him, ha ha! Boy, he’s never going to hear the end of this, or maybe, due to his proximity to this massive explosion, he’s never going to hear anything ever again.

Pluggers, 2/22/26

YOU, AN ETERNAL OPTIMIST: Ahh, even cranky old pluggers can still enjoy moments of childlike whimsy.

ME, AT AGE 51 BECOMING MORE AND MORE AN ACTUAL PLUGGER BY THE DAY: Oh god, look at how they’re lying on that uneven ground without any cushions or anything. Look at how she’s propping herself up awkwardly on her elbow. They’re going to be in pain for days! They’re not even going to be able to walk back to their car!