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Comics archive! Archie

Mr. Lodge literally has ancient statues on plinths just scattered around his house

Archie, 2/4/16

Usually Archie and Mr. Lodge are in engaged in a constant struggle for dominance, with the plutocrat heaping withering contempt on the hapless teen at all times while Archie gamely attempts to maintain a relationship with his daughter and keep his head down. Today is an extremely rare instance of Mr. Lodge actually attempting to empathize with Archie, which he does by … attempting to commiserate about his daughters flaws! Ha ha, women, am I right? Always shopping, especially if you have unlimited cash at your disposal and live in a vast mansion! Oh, mercy.

Slylock Fox, 2/4/16

In the first panel, the man is frowning because he’s finally realized that his cat hoarding is a symptom of his terrible obsessive-compulsive disorder, and he desperately needs help in order to put his life back on track and get those pets into homes where they can be well cared for. In the second panel, the man looks shocked because the cat is starting to pee on his head.

Tuesday quickies

Gasoline Alley, 11/24/15

“The turkey — ’cause it’s had all its organs removed and replaced with bread crumbs! Gobble! Gobble! I’m a walking corpse! Gobble! Gobble!” [audience continues roaring with laughter]

Judge Parker, 11/24/15

I’ve never read the Fountainhead, but this is pretty much what I imagine all the sex scenes are like.

Archie, 11/24/15

Oh, do you think these Archie newspaper comics are just endlessly recycled reruns from the 1990s? Well, what about the dead-eyed teen girl in panel three with the current year on her shirt, huh? Checkmate, doubter!

Let’s see Herb spend some quality time on top of a mountain

Archie, 9/25/15

Archie’s whole shtick is of course to present a false and corrosive nostalgia for a bygone era that downplays any and all negative aspects of generic mid-20th century high school life, but it’s rare to see the strip get self-aware like this. Principal Weatherbee eats the lunch created in an industrial kitchen from mass-produced staple ingredients, which is the only way to feed a school full of children and staff efficiently and within the shrinking budget allotted. “It’s not like my mon used to make!” Weatherbee declares, failing to mention that for his mother preparing food for even a small family took hours and hours every week.

Dennis the Menace, 9/25/15

You know, I’d like to think that my blog is proof that cultural criticism can effect social change. Certainly Dennis has seen a real menacing uptick lately, and I’m going to take the credit and assume this is a reaction to my years-long campaign to point out how non-menacing he’s been. “Wow, Mom, you kissed me and I felt nothing. No healing, no comfort, nothing.” Pretty sure things children say to their parents don’t get more menacing than that.

Herb and Jamaal, 9/25/15

Moses also died before the people he led arrived at their destination! What I’m trying to say this could be the most emotionally affecting Herb and Jamaal storyline yet, after which they’re going to have to change the name of the strip.