Main content:

Worthian memories

Mary Worth, 5/23/11

There are a few signs that maybe you have spent too much of your life writing blog entries about the comics! One is when you get a mysterious email that says “How are you today? I see that you own the domain name: I am writing to let you know that the domain name is for sale. I am contacting you to gauge possible interest in this exceptional domain name” and you think HOLY GOODNESS WHAT IS THIS ABOUT HAVE I DROPPED THROUGH THE RABBIT HOLE? but then you remember that you actually wrote a blog post about how fast a rhino can run, five years ago!

Another sign is when there’s a flashback in Mary Worth and you remember the events being flashed back to and then you think to yourself, “I don’t think this is an accurate depiction of this long-ago and hilarious episode,” and then you look it up, because of course you have this very comic, three and a half years old now, on your blog as well, like you’re running some sort of alternative to the microfiche machine down at the library (do they still have those?).

ANYWAY! Let’s pretend that flashback panel two in today’s strip isn’t just cobbled together from misty memory by the Mary Worth creative team (because that would mean that I have better recall of Mary Worth and/or better access to archives than they do, which is kind of horrifying to contemplate) but instead represents Dr. Drew’s memory of the events. If we think about it from that perspective, a side-by-side comparison becomes rather interesting!

You’ll note that Drew remembers rather precisely a number of minor details — what color shirts he and Dawn were wearing, and the colors of the coats of the horses, for instance. But there’s one quite striking difference, and that’s Drew’s face. One assumes that the earlier strip, on the right, shows how Drew would appear to an objective observer — with a rounded, boyish face — whereas the panel on the left shows his own self-image, in which he’s square-jawed and manly with impossibly sharp cheekbones. How vain we all are, in our minds!

It’s also worth nothing that, in Drew’s memory, his non-Dawn girlfriend Vera has terrifying melting nightmare eyes, but the less said about that the better.

Gil Thorp, 5/23/11

Over in Gil Thorp, the cuts to the school district’s budget are proceeding at high speed! But haven’t they already economized enough? The Chicago font on that sign indicates that it was probably printed on the district’s only computer, a Mac SE/30 purchased in 1991 or thereabouts.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/23/11

Oh, hey! Have you been wondering what’s up in Rex Morgan, M.D.? Well, what’s up is that Rex and June are apparently talking themselves into cashing in Berna’s lottery ticket and then fleeing the country.

Hi an Lois, 5/23/11

In non-soap news, today will be remembered as “the day Hi and Lois left Trixie outside to die of exposure.”


On a more serious note, thanks to everyone who let me know about the death of Crock cartoonist Bill Rechin at age 80. I’ve been pretty savage with Crock here but he was by all accounts a really sweet guy and is a big loss to the comics community. In the grand tradition of syndicated cartooning, the strip will of course be carried on by Rechin’s son Kevin, a phenomenon that I can’t even work myself up to rage against anymore. It’ll be interesting to see what Crock 2.0 is like.

114 responses to “Worthian memories”

  1. Joshua
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    Note: It’s Bill Rechin, not Rechlin.

  2. Mikey
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Rechin, Rechlin–no matter how you spell it, it will still look shmeared and unreadable on his tombstone.

  3. Bill Thompson
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: Complaints about fat-cat teachers? I thought people complained about Les Moore even before the book sale. At least now we know that Westview is part of the Milford Unified School District.

  4. commodorejohn
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    It’s encouraging to know that I’m not the only person who recognizes oldschool computer typefaces in the comics! (It is, however, kind of disturbing to know that I am one of the people who does.)

    But what’s wrong with the SE/30? I have one, and aside from needing new caps on the analog board, it’s still going strong. Oh, they don’t make ‘em like they used to…

  5. nancy
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    It is also worth noting that in Drew’s recollection, Dawn stands poised with both fists coiled, while everyone looks on, appropriately horrified.

  6. Faoladh
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

    Yes, those fat-cat teachers, with their mansions and yachts and stock portfolios. You’d think that they’d have hardly any time at all to teach the kids!

  7. Faoladh
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    @nancy (#5): And, in his recollection, he isn’t raising a hand at all in the confrontation.

  8. Josh
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#1): Whoops! Fixed.

  9. Alan's Addiction
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

    Actually, I vastly prefer today’s “Mary Worth” in its current, modern form; without any words in the second panel, because then it lets me pretend that Drew and Dawn are having some sort of horrific psychic mind-battle, based on the large lines emanating from their skulls.
    I thought that the current Gil Thorpe story had something to do with Coach Kaz running around and abusing people while trying to help a band. Or something like that. I don’t really want my comics to cloak themselves in verisimilitude by discussing, at length, civics issues that usually aren’t open to public debate. If I want that, I can go to the Op-Ed page.
    The artists of “Rex Morgan” deserve some serious credit; that’s the creepiest smile I’ve ever seen. Based on that facial expression, I can only conclude that Rex is secretly a serial killer. I’d elaborate on that thought, but to do so, I’d have to look at that smile again, and I’m still quite frightened from the first time I saw it.
    I don’t know what’s worse, Hi and Lois’s willful neglect of their child, or the fact that they cheerfully watch their child as she struggles with cold and mud. Tune in next week as they tell Chip to go outside and play in heavy traffic.

  10. nescio
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    B.C.: Wolf looks like he’s starving to death, he’d dig up a dead rat if he had one.

    Crock: That’s a creepy vibe for today.

    Slylock Fox: This is cheap. They don’t mention the monster is brainless until the solution. Considering rats, cats, foxes, and everything else except Max Mouse is sentient, they should have mentioned it in the setup.

    WoI: It is truly terrifying to look upon a dragon’s ass.

  11. Kristie
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Rhino speed? More like rhinos peed! (That’s probably a Pluggers waiting to be published.)

  12. Sequitur
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been waiting all day for the new thread because I have some really good snark. So I waited…and waited…and waited…

    And now I forget.

    Crock 2.0, eh? So will all the bugs be worked out? Where to begin…

  13. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 23rd, 2011 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#1):

    Note: It’s Bill Rechin, not Rechlin.

    Not to be confused with Ritalin — which is used to treat attention deficit disorder (ADD) and narcolepsy. (Unfortunately, Rechin was known to cause ADD and narcolepsy!)

  14. Maggie the Cat
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    Thank you for the Drew-Dawn recap. I was totally in the dark. I guess it’s time for Mary to step in and stop this heartbreaking manslut in his tracks. He pushed Dawn into tech addiction and Liza into insanity… he must be stopped and Mary Worth is the only one with balls enough to do it.

  15. cheech wizard
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – I’m thinking that Rex and June set this whole thing up to make Berna realize that money can’t buy happiness, at least not for the lower classes who are unfit to handle it in any more than dribs and dabs, and are just waiting for M’lord and M’lady to graciously offer to take it off her calloused hands, worn thick by scullery maid service. In return, Dr. (the modern form of Duke) Morgan and his wife, June Morgan, Regina Nurse, will magnanimously show their appreciation by granting her a raise of one dollar an hour, provided she agrees to go on salary, so they don’t have to pay her overtime.

  16. AhClem
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:03 pm [Reply]

    H&L – From the size of those raindrops, I’d say that a severe thunderstorm is approaching. That would explain Trixie’s parents giving her the special all-metal umbrella.

  17. cheech wizard
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    MW – Drew is hopelessly confused. This is exactly the kind of relationship where you want to immediately start boning every slut in town in hopes you are discovered. Liza may be persistent, but somehow I don’t think she’s the forgiving type.

  18. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    @Josh (#8): Fixed.
    It still says “Rechlin’s son” up there.

    I see that in the Mary Worth flashback, Dawn’s spider-sense tells her that Drew is standing in front of her, and Drew’s spider-sense tells him that she’s pummeling his chest. It works the same across comics!

  19. Renee J
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    MW- I wonder if, when Drew tells Mary about his stalker (and he will because she’ll will it), we’ll get a flashback to Mary’s stalker, Aldo. And I wonder how that will appear from her mind.

  20. This Guy
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#4): I immediately thought “Huh, Chicago…” too. ‘course, there are very, very good reasons why they don’t make ‘em like they used to.

  21. Mibbitmaker
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Lois, close the door! You’re letting all the rain come in! It’s like you kids parents live in a barn or something!

    MW: It’s really odd — the coloring monkeys have a better recall to what happened 3 & 1/2 years ago then the actual artist of the feature!

    Doones: Good! This strip’s meta was never my favorite meta. It actually fit Bloom County better than Doonesbury to me. Felt more natural there.

    FW: Oh, vomit! Unlike MW, he’s the psycho in this woman-thinking-”romantic”-glurge scenario. And just as disturbing!

  22. seismic-2
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    Ghost Who Bleeds – Does the purple Spandex act as a huge Band-Aid? If so, then does a suit like that restrict the flow of blood to the brain? In the case of Spider-Man, that would explain so much.

    FW – “Yes, Cayla, I’ve been thinking about the future. When Lisa’s Story wins the Oscar and I use the millions of dollars from it to build the 100-acre Lisa Shrine with the 50-foot tall Lisa statue in the middle, and when it opens and I host the initial Lisa Pilgrimage by staging a dinner in the Lisa Hall with the stained-glass windows of Lisa all around and the Lisa centerpieces at every table and with the Lisa Choir singing Lisa hymns in the background, and we serve the special Lisa sandwiches, then will you cut the crust off the sandwiches the right way like Lisa did, damn you???”

  23. Jessy
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    Drew’s mind is conflating (I don’t really like that word–it’s a word I’d expect Les Moore to use it in class while pontificating smugly. But hey, it’s the best I’ve got right now) Liza and Dawn. In his memory, Dawn is a virago of vengeance, attacking with balled fists. In the depiction of the event as it actually happened, she’s not even scaring the horses.

  24. Mibbitmaker
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    The original MW scene above (in baby talk): “I’m on’y thwee anna half yea’s o’d!”
    (irresistible for a ’40s Looney Tunes fan like me!)

    “You don’t say! ……You don’t say!…… You don’t say…!”
    “What did he want?”
    “He didn’t say!”

    GT: (shakes fist) HO-BAAAAARRRRRRRT!

    Luann: Well, at least we’re not lampshaded as awfully as in FW (The School Play).

  25. commodorejohn
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:34 pm [Reply]

    @This Guy (#20): Yeah, there are: they figured out that Apple fanatics will pay top dollar for their machines whether or not they’re constructed with that kind of quality ;P

  26. Mibbitmaker
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

    MT: Might’ve had an okay story here — but there HAS to ALWAYS be freakin’ VILLAINS!! Lazy.

    MW: Dawn, unlike Liza, isn’t a flippin’ psycho!

    PCity: We already have a winner for Worst bin-Laden Kill Analogy, going to “Crackpot Conspiracy Theory #8,754,689,756,535,790,086,500″. That’s beneath even you, Stantis! Even Wiley’s got to be shaking his head, thinking….. “Why didn’t I think of that?!”

  27. Sgt. Stoned
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    MT: Nice buckskin shirt, John.

    Snuffy Smiff: Alvin looks just like Snuffy, except without the hairs sticking out of his nose. Has Snuffy been stepping out on Loweezy?

    MW: Dr. Drew is as big a chick magnet as Archie Andrews! Archie’s got Betty (blonde) and Vernonica (brunette); Drew has Liza (blonde) and Dawn (brunette).

  28. S. Stout
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Luann: This is actually the most important strip in the series history. Greg Evans knows his comic is awful and clearly doesn’t give a shit!

    Crock: This must be an old Twilight Zone Episode. A cozy job where you just recycle jokes and characters all day…except it’s Crock! The horror!

  29. js
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    “No, seriously, my handball league is scheduled to share the gym tonight. Where are we gonna play?”

  30. Oregonian
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    Can anyone recommend a good brain-bleaching service? Cause I’m still trying to get yesterday’s remarks about Crankshaft’s butt out of my head.

    (Don’t worry if the service is expensive. I’m sending the bill to Josh.)

  31. sporknpork
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:54 pm [Reply]

    MW: I like how Drew’s recollection of the prior event with Dawn hurts a lot more, since she’s clearly frogging him in the chest repeatedly.

    Also, I wouldn’t be surprised if Liza were hiding in the backseat behind that poorly tacked up blanket in the car window ready to jump out from behind him and strangle him with “love”.

  32. demoncat
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:55 pm [Reply]

    drew starting to reflect on what he did to dawn is proably a set up for him to cross her path again still has feelings that or wants to use dawn as a shield from lisa. Lois smile says one kid down three more to go. as trixie is too busy playing to relize that her parents will not come get her or bring her back inside.

  33. Francisco Arrowroot
    May 23rd, 2011 at 10:59 pm [Reply]

    After dating, leading on, and then sorta-dumping Dawn, Liza, and who knows how many other unfortunate single women, Drew is probably thinking the same thing we all are: how are there so many crazy-ass women in one small town?

  34. seismic-2
    May 23rd, 2011 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Tommie probably is familiar with whistles by now, since Margo is forever blowing one, snapping her fingers, and shouting orders to her “mule”. Bells, however, have never been Tommie’s forte. She’s so ignorable and forgettable that whenever you ask anyone who works with her if they know a “Tommie Thompson”, they’ll think about it for a moment or two and then say “Sorry – doesn’t ring a bell.”

  35. Crankenstank
    May 23rd, 2011 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    I’m gonna ring your tip jar just for making me think about my SE/30 (1988), one of my favorite computers, ever. But I think you’ve got the whys and wherefores wrong: the use of Chicago is evidence not that the banner was made with an SE/30, but this strip. The Gil Thorp writers are so prolific and so bent on having the strip outlive them that they’ve accumulated a thirty-year stockpile of cartoons ready to go. This accounts for the relevancy of the storylines and the hipness of the characters, does it not?

  36. Maggie the Cat
    May 23rd, 2011 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    I’m not even sure what an SE30 is. Sounds like a model of Mercedes sedan or something.

  37. Digger
    May 23rd, 2011 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    MW: Of course Drew still thinks about that day with Dawn. If I spent a day with a bright yellow horse I’d probably never forget it either.

  38. Baka Gaijin
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft’s bleeding anus killed yesterthread.

    @commodorejohn (#4): A plugger nerd will keep his ancient outdated computer going even if it means spending more on replacement capacitors than it would to buy a slightly-used iMac. And proudly crows this accomplishments on web sites’ comments pages!

    @Maggie the Cat (#36): You kids and your iPhones and internet and voice mail. You can’t understand how important the Apple Mac SE/30 was. The SE/30 was an update to the original one-piece Mac. It, unlike its predecessor, could not be configured with 3 floppy drives. The SE/30 could only handle 2 floppies. This was the beginning of the death knell of floppy drives in general. Now you know why your iPad has no floppy drive.

  39. Rocky Stoneaxe
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    Vera and Drew’s horses look like the kind you need a coin to ride:

  40. Just some guy
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    I am impressed by the Mary Worth team, because unlike most comics these days who would just copy & paste the old scene, they actually redrew it.

  41. Maggie the Cat
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#38): Hey I did have a Coleco, so I am not totally out of the ancient tech loop ( gen xy-er…. on the cusp!) What I truly do not know is, what did people do with computers before internet? Where they just fancy calculators or for typing letters?

  42. commodorejohn
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#38): If that’s what I am, it’s a designation I’ll have to live with – no way am I throwing out such a fine piece of hardware just because it’s a little dated. (See also: my Amiga 3000, built like a tank and still going strong, and my Commodore 128, which is a bit battered but works like new.) The day planned obsolescence became the norm was the day the soul of the human race started to die.

    (No, I don’t exactly know what that means either, but I stand by it.)

  43. commodorejohn
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#41): Games, baby! Spacewar! was blazing a grand trail when ARPANET was just a twinkle in J.C.R. Licklider’s eye!

  44. ElkMeadow
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    RMMD Uh, oh. If this were a web-com, I’d say that Dexter is dead. How else did Berna get to the lawyer’s office, as her car isn’t working, and she’s used to having her brother drive her? She doesn’t strike me as the type who would ride a bus or take a taxi. And Dexter doesn’t strike me as the type to sit home and wait for his sister to “work it out,” either.

    MW Actually, it’s the same ol’.

    I may as well point out that Prince Valiant has thrown more tantrums since this whole “magic” story line started, than he had in the past ten or twenty years combined. It’s probably from that Potion of Youth that he’s lost what gravitas he had.

    Also may as well point out that there was a really neat Rhino story called “Flowers for Rhino,” which showed how he got up in the morning (hoist and tackle in a basement apartment), and got ready for the day (exfoliating with a car buffer). It was a riff off of “Flowers for Algernon,” where he asked for some way to be smart, became so, and was a major jerk, then begged to revert back.

    Interestingly enough, I read a short story from the U.S.S.R. that was published in 1958, where the friends of the guy that was going to get the surgery were worried that he’d be a smart jerk, and it turned out that getting smarter made him appreciate more the people he was with and the wonders of the world. Biggest difference between the stories? The guy in the U.S.S.R. had friends who cared for him before the surgery. Neither Rhino nor Charlie did, and I think that’s why the endings are so different.

  45. Maggie the Cat
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#43): We had this “computer” thing when I was a kid that was more or less a keyboard that somehow plugged into a tiny old b&w tv and there were games we played. I remember a mouse-maze game that was my favorite, you had to get the cheese in the middle. I think the games were pretty large, physically.

  46. commodorejohn
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#45): I’m going to guess that’s the Commodore 64, though it might’ve been the ZX Spectrum if you grew up in the UK. (Or one of the dozens of more obscure machines populating the market back in the day, but those were the big two. Well, those and the Apple //e, but that didn’t have a cartridge slot.)

  47. Maggie the Cat
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:44 am [Reply]

    Dru- run 4 hilz, btch=crzy

  48. Austria
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:45 am [Reply]

    Arch: You gotta be kidding me. This is the 9/11 generation you’re talking about, you know. We’re all up on current events, we’re totally keeping abreast of current events — we’re so abreast, we’re D-cups.
    (At least, the people I hang out with…)


    FW: I like to imagine that Les’ elbow isn’t behind the porch swing, and that his arm is stretched out to its full length. Tiny little T-Rex arms.

    H&L: What? They left her out to die? GREATEST HI AND LOIS STRIP OF ALL THE STRIPS.

    Jumble: Oh, nice!

    *sighs, wipes tears from eyes*
    Well, Luann, if it’s any consolation, that Friday girl got famous, maybe you can too…

    MW: My first thought was “Hey, I remember that storyline!” Then I got depressed that I pay enough attention to Mary Worth to remember it at all.

    Zits: I propose the last panel of today’s comic be added onto the end of every Zits strip ever.

  49. Maggie the Cat
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:47 am [Reply]

  50. Maggie the Cat
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    Fuck you, preview.

  51. Bill Thompson
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:59 am [Reply]

    The Amusing Spiderman: Don’t play with your food, Martine.

    FW: Les is thinking “That’s my line! I love me!”

    MT: Are they going to hide the loot in another cave? Because I’m thinking it’s strange enough that they have one huge cave here, yet it’s unknown to archaeologists and spelunkers. With two (or more) caves so close to a town, you’d expect to see anthropologists looking for Indian artifacts, adventurers exploring the caves and the Parks Service taking an interest in a natural resource. For that matter, how is it that two outdoorsmen like Trail and Myson John haven’t noticed the tracks left by the crooks and their van as loot gets ported in and out of their cave? And while I’m at it, what sort of electronic store doesn’t have its very own electronic burglar alarm and closed-circuit TV system?

  52. Tagged
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#21): Re: Doones: if you had bothered to look at the copyright tag, you’ll notice this was a reprint (or as they like to refer to it, a flashback) from about a year ago. So this storyline (such as it was) already occurred. As for why this one, I can only speculate.

  53. Nekrotzar
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:08 am [Reply]

    One other interesting thing about Drew’s memory is that, compared to his memory, reality featured a much more prominent horse’s ass, which I find significant.

  54. Comcis Fan
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    MW: Liza clearly is gaining inspiration for her stalker texting from Valentine’s candy heart sayings.

    FW: Les’ obtuseness may be the only character in this strip that’s bigger than his ego. He seems truly surprised that a woman he’s been taking out, canoodling and even shtupping for some time might have misread his signals and thought she was in a romantic relationship with him. Of course, this particular woman seems virtually unfazed by the opposing signals, i.e., his leading on another woman who’s obsessed with him and his ongoing romance with his long-deceased wife.

  55. Comcis Fan
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:23 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#45): We had the original Pong in my childhood home, and to this day I consider it one of the best video games ever. Very relaxing, that initially slow, racket-to-tennis-ball sound. Pop-pop, pop-pop, pop-pop. Right up there with Astreroids.

  56. Comcis Fan
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    Would one of the talented cartoonists here please do a MW-FW crossover, wherein Liza Falls for Les?

  57. Girl Reporter
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#41): Yes. And Solitaire.

    I had a job for about 20 minutes in the mid-nineties that consisted of playing Solitaire until my mouse hand cramped. You could argue, back in the day, that playing Solitaire helped build your mousing skills. My boss was skeptical until he was issued one of those new-fangled laptops. We lost him for hours. We’d forget he was in his afternoon-dark office, until the card-bouncing celebration. Even more pathetic than my cramped hand was the coworker who would pull up a chair to watch me play.

  58. ElkMeadow
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:26 am [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#41):

    They were game boards and you could type and file your typing on it. I used mine for genealogy, but it was for filling out forms; I had to do the research by snail mail and dead trees and microfiche. You put programs that were on black floppy disks into the computer, and, yeah, it was all pretty quiet. So the pre-internet computers did word processing, fancy calculators (like payroll and sending men to the moon) and “Midnight Rescue” and “Oregon Trail” type games. I remember punch cards, and typing COBOL codes into them.

  59. ElkMeadow
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#38):

    Now you know why your iPad has no floppy drive.

    Which is a bummer, because “Midnight Rescue” was such a fun game, and I had 300 names in my genealogy/family history disk, and my daughter did such fun newsletters with the newsletter program, and then when we got the next computer up after that one died, there wasn’t any place to input the info from the floppies.

  60. bats :[
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:31 am [Reply]


    FC: no comment. Dear God, no comment…

    FW: people in Funkytown have sex without some affection/commitment like this? I mean, people who are purported to be adults?

  61. commodorejohn
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#55): Ahh, Asteroids. Vector graphics and dedicated sound circuits and play-until-you-die quarter-pumping. One of the true timeless classics, in my opinion (right up there with Berzerk, in my opinion.)

  62. Steve the Pocket
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    B.C. actually improved when it was passed down, and Crock… literally can’t do anything but improve, so I’m actually kind of optimistic about this.

  63. Skynet
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    False 5/24 data transmissions; actual source ≠ Liza; IM text come-ons generated @ Skynet.

    Skynet registers satisfaction as follows distress among human lump-things. Romantic misunderstandings x predation = male gonad shrinkage + reproduction failure. Fewer to kill later.

    Skynet homicide subcategory rage = 0.004

  64. commodorejohn
    May 24th, 2011 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#38): “I never thought it was such a bad little computer. It’s not bad at all, really. Maybe it just needs a little love.

  65. Uncle Lumpy
    May 24th, 2011 at 2:31 am [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#61):

    I’ll take your Asteroids and raise you Asteroids on a PDP-8 with magnetic core memory.

    Dirt calls me “Grampy.”

  66. Uncle Lumpy
    May 24th, 2011 at 2:32 am [Reply]

    I’m getting a little worried about this “Skynet” fella. Anybody else?

  67. Mr. O'Malley
    May 24th, 2011 at 2:35 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#59): You can get a USB floppy drive if you want to recover your old data.

  68. commodorejohn
    May 24th, 2011 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#65): Ah, now _there_ you go. Never underestimate the resourcefulness of college students with too much free time and not enough quarters, eh?

  69. This Guy
    May 24th, 2011 at 2:52 am [Reply]

    Doones: Can Trudeau get away with having Duke say “Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker”?

  70. OKStan
    May 24th, 2011 at 3:06 am [Reply]

    GIl Thorpe appears to be gearing up for a comic strip version of the Wisconsin budget fight. I look forward to many, MANY weird-angled up-nostril shots as the players gather at the Rotunda. Then, the Days of Rage will BEGIN!

  71. Anachrosaurus
    May 24th, 2011 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    FC: Huh? Did Blondie drop by to visit Bil? (With her catering stuff I mean of course)

  72. Bill Thompson
    May 24th, 2011 at 3:25 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#65): Try playing Nim on a Digicomp II, which may have been the first home computer (my grandfather gave me one for Christmas in the early Sixties). You had to learn binary arithmetic to use it, which comes in real handy with modern computers.

  73. John Connor
    May 24th, 2011 at 3:44 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#66): Eh, I don’t think it’s anything to get too uptight about.

  74. Mr. O'Malley
    May 24th, 2011 at 4:23 am [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#66): Old Usenet Saying*: Malevolent disembodied intelligences rarely use HTML special characters idiomatically.

    *In the Perl tongue

  75. jamoche
    May 24th, 2011 at 4:26 am [Reply]

    RMMD: I don’t get it – why would an attorney recommend anything *but* cashing in a lottery ticket? There is a time limit on those things, even the big prizes.

  76. John Connor
    May 24th, 2011 at 4:41 am [Reply]

    5/24 A3G: Woah. Uh, okay, everyone who said Aunt Iris was reminding you of a Bond villain, or Dr. Evil? Give yourself a pat on the back, and a cookie.

  77. KarMann
    May 24th, 2011 at 4:42 am [Reply]

    @John Connor (#76): Uh, oops, how’d that end up in my name field? That was me. ;)

  78. KarMann
    May 24th, 2011 at 5:43 am [Reply]

    5/24 Pluggers: This just in: As “Unspeakable Filth” week continues, area stores are reporting shortages of brain bleach.

    But I’ve already got mine! Too bad, suckers!!

  79. KarMann
    May 24th, 2011 at 5:47 am [Reply]

    RwO: I’m not fond of the olives. Could I get a Bigson instead?

  80. Écureuil Écumant
    May 24th, 2011 at 5:50 am [Reply]

    @This Guy (#69): No, “keys” is drug lingo.

  81. John C Fremont
    May 24th, 2011 at 6:09 am [Reply]

    Flashback Drew looks like Gil Thorp to me.

    Aside from Pong, I have no idea what you guys are talking about with all these computer games, but I remember Cap’n Crunch playing Space Invaders. Does that count?

  82. Écureuil Écumant
    May 24th, 2011 at 6:10 am [Reply]

    MW: And Drew appears to have forgotten Dawn’s motive entirely, recollecting her not as a wronged yet still rational (right up to the moment she lapses into discreet ellipses) partner — but as a speechlessly raging batterer whose coruscating hate rays overpower his chagrin waves.

    Why, that self-justifying putz, so to speak.

  83. seismic-2
    May 24th, 2011 at 6:28 am [Reply]

    I also have no idea what any of these computer games are that you’re talking about. I gave up on them after Adventure, when no matter how many times I typed commands to “pick up sword”, “throw ax”, etc., I still couldn’t open that giant clam shell.

  84. KarMann
    May 24th, 2011 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    Jumble: Is this to be celebrity week in the Jumble, then? Nice Penn & Teller there.

  85. Mr. O'Malley
    May 24th, 2011 at 6:49 am [Reply]

    If you want to know what computer games were like back 30 years ago, check out

    I could still get re-addicted to this. My, what a tasty slime mold.

    You may want to research the navigation keys in vi.

  86. Mordock999
    May 24th, 2011 at 7:05 am [Reply]

    Today’s Luann – 05/24/11

    Luann – “Mom? Dad? Quill and I will be in the back bedroom doin’ the Mombo!”

    Frank – “What?”

    Quill – “Yeah, I’m gonna HELP Luann HIT those HIGH Notes!”

    Frank – “WHAT!?”

    Nancy – “Well, I HOPE Your session is reproductive.”

    Frank – “WHAT?!!?”

    Nancy – “I MEANT Productive!!!”

    Luann – “RELAX dad! Quill and I are recording a new song for Youtube!”

    Frank – “Oh. I see. What a reli…..,”

    Luann – “By the way START thinking of Baby Names! Lets GO, Quill!

    Frank and Nancy – “WHAT?!!!!!?”

    DEATH to TJ!!!

  87. Jessy
    May 24th, 2011 at 7:05 am [Reply]

    Computer games . . . I used to play an all-text game that involved finding treasure on an island by going north, south, east, or west and typing in instructions like “Pick up parrot feather” or “Dig.” It was a funny game, and I used to get totally lost in it. Computers were addictive long before Dawn got her Crackberry.

  88. Pozzo
    May 24th, 2011 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    I don’t think our tax dollars should used to pay people to teach fat cats.

  89. Mr. O'Malley
    May 24th, 2011 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#85): I’m sorry, I used this site just last year. I’ve now tried it with 4 different browsers. One of them worked temporarily and then failed. Another worked for a while and then died.

    It appears that the Internet has deteriorated to the point that the new generation can not hope to inherit the collected wisdom of the old.

  90. Little Guy
    May 24th, 2011 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    Luann: Yes, “making music” means “rutting like two dogs in heat”, because, to Mama DeGroot, “productive” means “a multi-year deal on an upper-channel cable network for a reality series on teenage motherhood, preferably on The Travel Channel”.

  91. Little Guy
    May 24th, 2011 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    @Little Guy (#90): “…a multi-year deal on an upper-channel with a basic cable network…”

  92. ArchieNemesis
    May 24th, 2011 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace is stalking his dad with Liza-like intensity. What do those 25 phone messages say? I hope it’s “When will I C U again?” and “Meet me 2nite luvr!” That would be beyond menacing; Dennis is entering deeply-disturbing territory.

  93. Faoladh
    May 24th, 2011 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: For which we can all be thankful.

  94. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    May 24th, 2011 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    Lio: Eva’s a Slayer!!!

    did I miss a memo or something? half of Yahoo’s comics seem to have skipped yesterday entirely, or are stuck on it. wtf? and the Chron is borked as well. sheesh.

    A3G: and here I figured LuAnn would be the one who hadn’t learned about gravity yet.

    Blondie: is there a Biggest Bite event? If so, my vote is for Lindsey Lohan to win.

    Luann: somedays, I suspect Evans is reading us, and this is one of them.

    Mutts and GWS have an interesting juxtaposition of tribute strips this week. Today, Mutts is the clear winner.

    RwO: heee!

  95. Rusty
    May 24th, 2011 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    MW: Drew’s new face reflects his interest in bodybuilding and steroid abuse.

  96. gleeb
    May 24th, 2011 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Edge City: Oh, no! Your daughter has become attracted to cute, nonthreatening boys. Time to stifle her burgeoning sexuality, so she’ll settle with an annoying shlub like Daddy.

    FC: …because Jeffy’s going to eat it, no matter what.

  97. Shrug
    May 24th, 2011 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    Certainly libraries still have microfiche machines (there are three or four in this building alone), but your context is about viewing old newspapers and almost certainly those (if held on any sort of microform) will be on *microfilm*, not microfiche. (We’ve got seven or eight microfilm readers here, including a couple of combined reader/printers.) Seeing microfilm (the round spool stuff) and microfiche (the thin single sheet stuff) treated as interchangable synonyms is one of my pet peeves, and yes, I should get out more.

    Shrug the academic librarian now returns you to the regular snarkfest…

  98. ElkMeadow
    May 24th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    @Mr. O’Malley (#67):

    Thanks, but the floppies went by-bye, to the dump years ago. Fortunately, I had paper copies of the family history and the newsletters. “Midnight Rescue” is in some updated thing on-line, but the old one served its purpose. My kids were math wizards in their early years of school.

  99. ElkMeadow
    May 24th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @Shrug (#97): re @ElkMeadow (#58):

    I know the difference between microfiche and microfilm. When I was referring to “dead trees” I meant books.

    I went to the local genealogical library, where family records, for the most part, were on microfiche and there were microfiche readers. Census records were on microfilm and in printed books.

    Sometimes I ordered newspapers from the downtown library, where most of the time they were on microfilm, but I found out very soon for myself that newspapers in the late 1880′s and early 1900′s were not reliable resources.

    I am applying for a job at my local library. Gotta get back to the job application and the pre-employment questions.

  100. ElkMeadow
    May 24th, 2011 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#99):

    Sorry, Shrug, that read rather harsh, which was not what I wanted it to be. I should have stuck some smile faces on it or something.

    Back to your snarking, everyone. I’ve got to have this handed in by noon today (it’s due at 2 p.m., but I want to give myself time for flat tires and whatever else the world throws in my path.)

  101. Hamsterpants
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    I know I’m coming late to ths party as always, but who is Liza and why is she stalking zombie Conway Twitty?

  102. Spockahontas
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Re rhinospeed: C’mon, you’re not *that* old! Mr. Rhinospeed-wannabe obviously was prompted by , your entry on “No Exit For Pluggers”; he hopes to make money selling meth-lab setups to near-destitute people who are pawning their last possessions and might as well give the money to him instead of whomever holds the mortgage on their trailers.
    Wait…that entry is also from five years ago. Guess you’re old after all.

  103. Shrug
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#100):

    No offense taken, but actually my comment wasn’t intended as a reply to you but rather to Josh who had said in his headnotes today re APARTMENT 3G that:

    “of course you have this very comic, three and a half years old now, on your blog as well, like you’re running some sort of alternative to the microfiche machine down at the library (do they still have those?).”

    But I should have copied Josh’s comment with my reply to make that clear, so my bad.

  104. Shrug
    May 24th, 2011 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#103):


    I said….”Josh who had said in his headnotes today re APARTMENT 3G…”

    And should have said: “…Josh who had said in his headnotes today re MARY WORTH…”

    I blame it on not enough coffee yet this morning. Fortunately I know a way to fix that.

  105. Mars
    May 24th, 2011 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#21): I remember the early 90′s when Doonesbury was 90% meta jokes, to the point that Trudeau eventually made meta jokes about the meta jokes. That point was when he toned it down, but the truth is, it’s not that out of the ordinary for this strip.

  106. Anonymous
    May 24th, 2011 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    @Comcis Fan (#56): I’m thinking more a MW-SF cross-over where Dr. Drew’s flashback and the original panel becomes the Can You Spot Six Differences? Will Cassandra Cat become Dr. Drew’s next stalker?

  107. Liam
    May 24th, 2011 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    FW-That is not her heart pounding like that it is the CANCER in her.

  108. Little Blue Bicycle
    May 24th, 2011 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Fat-cat teachers in Milford? Oh boy, a Garfield-Gil Thorp crossover! Lasagna’s on Marty Moon!

  109. Cletus Forrester de Rothschild
    May 24th, 2011 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    In Drew’s memory, he is actually Rex Morgan, MD.

    May 24th, 2011 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    @KarMann (#84): It it turning out that way. More to come tomorrow…..Stay tuned.

  111. troostie
    May 25th, 2011 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    OH NO! The Milford School Board is a bunch of vampires who pop out of their giant coffin every other Wednesday @ 7:00 pm! I can’t wait to see where this storyline goes, and what goes on when the Lid is shut!

  112. Neumanic
    May 25th, 2011 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    H&L: Better they leave Trixie out to die of exposure than to live the life’s path her name has given her – truck stop stripper. At that point, death would be sweet release.

  113. Dennis
    May 26th, 2011 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    “usually you can play hardball in here.” Damn that school district must be goin’ broke if they have to repurpose the auditorium as a baseball field.

  114. Anorak
    May 26th, 2011 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    It also seems that in Drew’s memory he is letting himself be punched by Dawn, whereas in “reality” (or what passes for reality in Mary Worth) he is blocking her fists o’ rage. Obviously, him defending himself is such a horrible memory that his subconscious has suppressed it, instead remembering it as him being the punching bag, the way it should be.

Comments are closed for this post.