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Eat moccasin, sheriff!

Mark Trail, 6/27/11

When is it time to start paying attention to Mark Trail? When the violence starts, obviously! Young John Thrasher suddenly shows the benefits of his military training and steely nerves by announcing his refusal to cooperate with law enforcement authorities, rapidly covering several feet, and then kicking the sheriff in the solar plexus, all while he has a rifle pointed right at him. He shows the benefits of his good breeding and essentially gentle nature by apologizing for this act of derring-do while he’s still in the process of perpetrating it.

There’s been a slight but noticeable uptick lately of Trailian good guys physically assaulting law enforcement officers. To be sure, it’s all to forward the cause of good in the long run, but can this “ends justify the means” philosophy really co-exist with this feature’s traditional straight-arrow morals? Eventually, the strip’s whole universe might devolve into chaos; fortunately, the strip moves slowly enough that by “eventually” I mean “millions of years hence, long after the Earth’s sun becomes a red giant star, wiping out all human life.”

Gil Thorp, 6/27/11

When is it time to start paying attention to Gil Thorp? It certainly isn’t when Gil has some long, rambling confrontation with a school board member at an open meeting, so let’s continue not paying attention to it.

Momma, 6/27/11

The idea of a man’s mother casually asking him about his infidelities is both grotesque and par for the course in Momma, where Mother Hobbes will go to any length to break up the seemingly happy marriage of her eldest son. Still, we can sympathize with her exasperated expression in the final panel, as Thomas is apparently so lame that he can’t think of any way to stray that doesn’t involve the Internet.

Dennis the Menace, 6/27/11

And so began Alice Mitchell’s tragic addiction to prescription stimulants.

Spider-Man, 6/27/11

Ha ha, jokes on you, mysterious “Big Boss”! You can’t humiliate someone who is incapable of experiencing shame!

Ziggy, 6/27/11

Hey, everybody, are you going to enter the Ziggy 40th anniversary contest? Here’s my caption: OH MY GOD ZIGGY IS EATING A CAKE SHAPED LIKE HIS OWN FACE OH MY GOD

332 responses to “Eat moccasin, sheriff!”

  1. honeypot
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    “You’re not going to frame me for a crime I didn’t commit – so I’m gonna make it easy on you and commit one!”

  2. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Pardon My Planet — The giant BAND-AIDS® are there to hide the spooge stains:

  3. Liam
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    Ziggy-For forty years I have not been wearing pants and here’s to another forty pantless years.

  4. Anonymous
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    The Phantom may not have a Ph.D., but he does have a Masters in Being a Dick.

  5. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    9CL: next up, Edda biting the pillow. . . .

    AD: birdstrike, yur doin it rong.

    Zits: *snicker*

    dang, both Yahoo and GoComics are having issues this morning.

  6. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .valued at $150/hour.

  7. Effluvius Erratus
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    DtM: “Sure, Mrs. Mitchell. I got your 8-ball of ‘vitamins’ right here.”

    MW: Why is it Mary’s platitudes sound like 2 parts “Dear Abby” and 1 part Don Corleone?

    Ziggy: “You want me to eat an effigy of my own face? What’s wrong with you? I feed all of you, clean up after you, buy you treats, give a place to live, and return my love with nothing but mockery, abuse, and unadulterated venom. What did I ever do you? What?!?”

    @Liam (#YYYY182):

    MT-I want to see John Thrasher Billy Jack the sheriff.

    Ask, and The Elrod shall answer, my son.

  8. jayjaybear
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

  9. honeypot
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    ….just sayin’. And it looks more like a nut attack than a solar plexus kick. That’s gotta be painful in moccasins.

    I’ve never expected great literacy or even sense from Mark Trail, but the stooopid, it hurts.

    Really, Sheriff? Arresting a man for wearing moccasins and living in a cave? What on earth would a man who is rejecting all of the trappings of civilization be stealing them? How about fingerprints on the discovered evidence? Moccasin print matchups? Staking out the loot to see who comes for it?

    Really, idiotic Sheriff’s son? Telling your dad to check out caves for the mountain man to deflect suspicion from you and your middle aged teenage buddies, even when you are storing your loot in them?

    Really, Myson John? Kicking a law man holding a rifle when you haven’t done anything wrong is assaulting an officer with deadly footwear!

    It’s a sad, sad day when the least stupid in MT is Mark himself.

  10. S. Stout
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    MT: I think kicking the town sheriff in the nuts is a much worse crime than stealing some farm animals.

    Ziggy I like to imagine the 40 years logo as the Death Star, preparing to blow up everyone in that scene. “It was as if four voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.” Forever.

    Luann: Lucky, losing his job hasn’t stopped B-wad from his favorite activity: lying around doing nothing.

  11. HelpdeskHamburglar
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    I’m all confused, I thought having facial hair made you evil in Trail-verse?

  12. Patrick
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    I do love how the chairs in Momma are not only custom-fitted to the height of the sitter, but they float around the room on their own in the middle of a conversation.

  13. wossname
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Luann – Is this the first time we’ve ever seen TJ not grinning?

    MT – Whoa, you can see John F. Thrasher has special forces training and knows all the secret immobilizer moves.

    Popeye – So is tomorrow the day that Olive is going to lick the Oids? Won’t somebody think of the children?

    Sly – I don’t care about Max’s magic trick. I want to know how long Slylock and Max have had girlfriends and gone on double dates.

    S-M – Maybe I’ve missed something, but I have noticed Spidey troubling any crime lords in a very long time.

    FW – Oh fuck you Les. She lost her job (probably unnecessarily, but still…) and all you can do is blame her and give her the megasmirk?

  14. nescio
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    Well, I keep getting a “Network Error-Operation Timed Out” response when I try to follow the link to the Ziggy caption contest. Even the celebratory acknowledgement for Ziggy is a half-assed failure.

  15. Squeak
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    I really hate being framed for a crime I did commit.

  16. Scott Bot
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Archie – isn’t all that funny without dialogue, either.

    MT – The sheriff shouldn’t be too surprised. Anyone that’s seen a rerun of Walker, Texas Ranger knows what happens when you piss Chuck Norris off.

    Pluggers -
    You must have some simple way you can check on
    Or you’ll break your neck on
    Naughty Number Nine

    SfX – Lamest seduction move ever.

  17. Moon Mullins
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    I actually saw Tom Wilson at a book signing at a mall about 30 years ago (for those of you born since 1990, malls were concrete mausoleums that housed Book Barn and Pretzel Platoon indoor shops you passed on way to the optical department at Sears). Damned if he doesn’t look just like Ziggy. I could have met him as the line was zero but I had a 10% off coupon at Orange Julius so I missed out.

  18. nescio
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    B.C.: FYI, microbursts are meteorological phenomena, and are not known for making things want to have sex with a turtle.

    SlylockFox: I’m trying to think of what grilled item would be a suitable meal for foxes and mice, and failing. Max Mouse would fit in the grill, though.

  19. pugfuggly
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    MT: Solar plexus? It looks a little lower than that, and judging by Sheriff’s reaction I’m going to guess that that blow landed squarely on the testes.

    I hope that as a result of this incident, the townsfolk stop referring to him as as the mysterious ‘Mountain Man’, and switch to more specific ‘Mountain Crotch Kicker’ or ‘Highland Scrotum Punter’ or the like.

    -Hey, the general store was burglarized that night!
    -Must be the work of the Highland Scrotum Punter. He came by my place last night and kicked my prize rooster in the nuts….

    Momma: I think in this case we should remember that Momma is likely out-of-touch enough to believe that simply looking at pornography constitutes ‘cheating’, and that the only function of computer is to access, save, and organize porn. In that context, this conversation make perfect, depressing sense.

    Ziggy: Ok…let’s see here….caption…..capttttiiiiiioooon……jeebus, they’re really not giving us much to work with here. I mean, there’s no action going on, no conflict, nothing really out of the ordinary to make a joke around (aside from that Cake Wreck fodder on the table)….Ziggy doesn’t even like he’s saying anything, just quietly burping or something….maybe just “*buuuuuurp*” as a caption…..that seems to sum up a lot about the last 40 years of Ziggy

    A-SM Go mustard jar!!!! I’m not giving up hope yet…..

  20. Naked Bunny with a Whip
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    “First, I humiliate him — and then destroy him!”

    Step 3: ???
    Step 4: Profit!

  21. pugfuggly
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    *last night*


  22. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    DT: Hey, Pop Pop. Guess Mr. Hotshot Detective must’ve figured out by now that Honeymoon sure didn’t get that nose from you, huh.

  23. Jasper Jinx
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    Wait a minute — why DOESN’T Thomas own a computer? Isn’t he an accountant? He’s certainly a white-collar professional. He’s not living a Luddite, “simple” lifestyle at home. Heck, even the Phantom has a computer in Skull Cave! Mary Worth uses a computer! Les Moore, Gil Thorp, Dick Tracy… everybody’s got a computer. They have computers in Gasoline Alley. Why is Thomas stuck in 1970?

  24. flodnak
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure the would-be suicide in Judge Parker is going to die of old age before this story arc is resolved.

  25. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    meanwhile, in Massachusetts.

    squeetah just got the joke.

    ikkle lamb is brainmeltingly kewt.


  26. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    MT – For the sun to turn to a red giant will take billions of years, not millions. We are talking Judge Parker levels of lassitude, not simply Trailian ones.

    And wasn’t it just a few weeks ago we noted how quickly the MT storyline was moving forward, as opposed to JP, who is STILL on the roof with the character we’ve never met before and is now spinning off into inviting other ancillary characters to comment on the lack of action on the damned rooftop.

    Luann – I’ll just assume that “Game” is the name of the gay porn they are about to watch.

    9CL – I assume that “pillow biting” is not just subtext here but rather is the punchline that McE is slipping past the censors.

  27. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    JP: A future generation of xenologists, excavating the Internet on humankind’s home planet, will be flummoxed as to why Abbey is holding a video screen to her ear.

  28. Scott Bot
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    GT – Hobart: ‘I would like to remind all present that I’m the president of the school board, and that I’m that I’m gonna go home and never ever ever come back if Thorp doesn’t stop being mean to me!’

  29. 150
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    “Big Boss” is Stan Lee. I’m callin’ it now.

  30. pugfuggly
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    @150 (#29):

    Well, he has been humiliating and destroying Spiderman for years now…

  31. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: “First, I humiliate him — and then destroy him!” would be a pretty sweet Ziggy caption.

  32. Les of the Jungle Patrol
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    God, I thought the ziggy cake looking like a micropenis in a drippy condom, but now that I know that Ziggy’s face also looks like that I’m slightly grossed out.

    And aroused.

  33. Jocelyn Knockersbury
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:27 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#26): I assume that “pillow biting” is not just subtext here but rather is the punchline that McE is slipping past the censors.

    I figure the censors have given up at this point and probably have better things to do, like stepping out for an Orange Julius. If they just randomly picked 1-2 strips a year and sent them back with a rubberstamped “THIS IS UNMITIGATED FILTH. WE WILL NOT PUBLISH THIS.” they would achieve just as much as actively trying to censor 9CL.

  34. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “What’s the occasion?” Well, dude’s having half his colon out in a couple hours. And what color were your stools this morning, Rex?

  35. Charterstoned
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    MT – As painful as I’m sure it must be, being kicked in the groin might teach the sheriff a thing or two, specifically that hats and rifles will go flying if they are not secured by straps.

  36. Esther Blodgett
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Well, it took a couple of days, but the local deadtree paper logged a complaint letter about last week’s “Love Is…” about horrible working mothers who don’t bake cookies, or something. No, I didn’t write it. My letter would have fewer statistics and more snark about brandishing a hot baking sheet when both you and your children are starkers.

  37. jayjaybear
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @150 (#29): But he’s been talking for *counts* something like nine panels already and hasn’t said “EXCELSIOR!” once…

  38. I am Jack's username
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Ziggy Competition Entry: “There’s never a good time to say this… it’s… it’s cancer, Ziggy, I’m sorry.”

  39. Anonymous
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:41 am [Reply]

    MT: Johnbo: “First Pud” The sherrif crying and explaining to Mark why he had to hunt down and kill Johnbo, “He drew first pud, boo hoo, he drew first pud.”

  40. Little Guy
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#yyy25): Inspired and nostalgic!


    *puts ‘True Blood’ on pause*
    *reads Candorville*
    *starts ‘True Blood’ up again*

    MT: Moccasin to the groin! Moccasin to the groin!

    And yes, this beats Mark’s use of the Fist O’Justice on that lawman when Rusty was caught under the car.

    GT: There is an old Vulcan proverb: Don’t piss off the Army, Senator McCarthy.

  41. Charterstoned
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    I vote this comment for COTW–”Highland Scrotum Punter” is the best moniker since “Mr. Walker* *for Ghost Who Walks.” Short and to the point–and it makes for a better headline!

  42. Krazy Kat
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Trailian violence on a Monday?!? This bodes well for the week, this does. Are we in for a week’s worth of Mark’s fists vs. Thrasher’s kicks? Is Thrasher’s beard in peril of being knocked clean off his face? I haven’t been following this storyline so I don’t know if it would make any sense from a plot standpoint, but I doubt the dozen or so people who follow the strip would even care. I mean, they must be used to gaping plot holes by now, right?

  43. Mibbitmaker
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    Main Post, re:GT: But, Josh….. It’s Hobart!

    Crank: “Hey! This is Hateful House! GO AWAY!”

    MT: Another wrinkle in the MT rules: Facial hair = really, really stupid.

    MW: Mary (thinking): “If you don’t agree, I’ll bring out the ol’ Intervention From Hell once again…!”

    Phantom: That kid’s sciences are on playing cards.

  44. Charterstoned
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:44 am [Reply]

    That would be for Pugfuggly’s comment @ #19.

  45. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    MT: When you’ve been kicked in the oompa loompas with a special-forces kick, you’ll stay kicked for a good long while.

    Curtis: Diane, you might start by making your son get his own damn lunch for once.

    JP: I can see why the Narration Box is so excited. Tomorrow: “Katherine telephones Randy to tell him about the Judge!” Wednesday: “Randy misses Katherine’s call and tries to call her back!” Thursday: “Katherine is on the phone with Abbey but puts her on call waiting!” Friday: “Randy logs on to the internet!” I don’t know that I can bear the excitement.

    MW: Mary, at least try to hide your delight in Liza’s pain. A good meddler should know how to put on her empathetic sad face when one is required.

  46. Esther Blodgett
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    FW: Those symmetrical smirks are too much to bear. Even Les’ eyebrows agree, as they’re clearly trying to pull free from his head and fly away.

  47. Chip
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:49 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Let’s pause to reflect for a moment: Rex’s good friend is in the hospital! He’s obviously been seeing another doctor! How could you?

    Wait… are there even other doctor’s in Rexville?

  48. McManx
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Ziggy – Caption idea: “I don’t know what’s more depressing; turning 40 or eating my own death mask.”

    Mark Trail – OMG! John just rochambeau’d the Sheriff so hard his hat flew off. Isn’t this how Rambo got started…?

    Popeye – Given the general appearance of the Oids, suggesting Olive “lick” the Oids makes Wimpy about the most perverted bastard in comics… Ever!

    S. Fox – Slylock looks more interested in Miss Fox’s tail than he is in Max’s magic trick.

    Mary Worth – Liza looks as if she is about to vomit. I guess she just realized that Mary is correct… both her career and love life are meaningless. Serve… meddle… score. Point to Mrs. Worth.

  49. tallyHO
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:57 am [Reply]

    I know I’m relatively new “here” but it amazes me that Popeye isn’t featured once in a while.

    He’s been fighting shaved penises for weeks now. And, hilariously, he’s just starting to realize that his fists have no ill effect on them and they like being beaten.

    All hail “Popeye”!

  50. Esther Blodgett
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Ziggy caption: You’re just in time! We’ve laced this cake with cyanide, and we just need someone to pin down Tom Wilson while we force-feed him!

  51. Terry in Maryland
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: A cake best served with fava beans and a nice chianti

    Phantom: I have the sneaking suspicion that Stripey is going to bring this kid home either to adopt/foster him or to have the kid overhaul the IT system in the cave.

  52. TheDiva
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    MT: Judging by the trajectory and angle of John’s foot, he just kicked the sheriff’s gonads all the way up into his stomach. Ouch.

    SM: Okay, step one is pretty well covered…now what?

    Ziggy: I don’t want to send in a caption so much as an alert to Cake Wrecks.

    9CL: Ooh, someone’s getting creative with his font settings…

    FW: It’s so nice you can laugh about this, Les, what with teaching jobs being hard to come by and Susan’s voluntary resignation making her ineligible for unemployment and oh yeah, she’s doing this out of unrequited obsession love for your sorry ass. You graced her with your Specialest Snowflake presence, and that’s all that matters, right? Dipshit.

    Luann: It’s still more sympathy than Nancy offered.

    Marvin: Normally I’m okay with denying Marvin any sort of satisfaction whatsoever, but come on, the occasional indulgence isn’t going to turn him into Jabba the Hutt. Even my post-heart-attack dad is allowed to have steak every once in a while.

    MW: What would be really ridiculous would be if Drew decides he likes this new hard-working, non-crazy Liza and they get back together. Such a resolution would have all sorts of uncomfortable implications and fly in the face of believable character development, so the odds of it happening are pretty good.

  53. Old School Allie Cat
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – These are probably those kids you sent to college, remember them? They don’t like you enough to invite you to the ceremony, but they’re more than happy to come do doughnuts on your lawn and show off their new diplomas, which, in this economy aren’t worth the paper they’re written on. Thanks for nothing!

    FW – No wonder Susan is quitting – none of the other neighboring districts make their students and teachers matriculate well into July. Also, Les is a dipshit, and now she won’t have to look at his smirky face and remember that she was rebuffed not once but twice by this jerk. Also, she’s kind enough to give notice so that they won’t have to scramble to replace her after she “accidentally” leaves the car on in the closed garage with her windows open.

  54. spike
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#26)and @Jocelyn Knockersbury (#33): Re:9CL Ya gotta admit, the use of Fracturschrift in Edda’s speech bubbles is a nice touch–kinda like the running joke of “Blücher!” in Young Frankenstein.

  55. Longhorn
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    SM “First I humiliate him” By what? Reupholstering his favorite nap sofa in lime green naugahyde? Disconnecting his cable TV? The guy hasn’t held a real job in over 50 years. You want to humiliate him? Put him in front of a hiring manager and force him to do a job interview!

  56. spike
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#52): Oooops! Sorry…you got there first.

  57. Roto13
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:11 am [Reply]

    I think Momma is about to proposition her son. “Thomas, do you ever cheat on your wife?” “No way, Momma!” “… Would you like to?” *saucy glance*

  58. Pseudo3D
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    DT: You know, it didn’t leave a mark when Mordred was trying to strangle him with chains…

    FC: This brings a smile to my face, and I don’t know why.

    FW: Smirk? Smirk smirk. Smirk!

    MW: Yeah, because getting advice works both ways, right? Right?

  59. Pseudo3D
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Luann: Holy smokes! That’s the first time I’ve seen TJ not grin like an idiot, even after seeing the Luann PSA about abstinence (yup, he was grinning that entire time, too). I guess since Brad got sacked, there’s no reason to have a forced smile.

  60. But What Do I Know?
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Ziggy — Caption entry: “40th anniversary? Son of a Trail, I’m older than Ziggy!”

    MW — It’s been such a long time, but Mary’s rapturous smile reveals that she still knows how to get her meddle on.

    The Ghost Who is Bored — Hey kid, did you take any classes in Meditation?

    DtM — And that was the day that Alice first heard the word Ritalin. Just crush it up and mix in into his food, the helpful pharmacist suggested. Oh, and don’t worry about paying me now. The first one’s free.

  61. Longhorn
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Tom Batuik has now changed his name to “Big Boss” and moved to Spiderman?

  62. Illustrator Steve
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    MT: From the look on Mark’s face it appears he now agrees with the high sherrif that this bearded freak actually IS the Mysterious Malicious Midnight Moccasin Marauder. Especially after hearing the part about him stealing the town’s farm animals! If there’s anything that will get Mark Trail upset it’s some bearded guy stealing the town’s farm animals!!
    (Wait a second…. WHY would the town own farm animals?? Does the town have it’s own farm or does this mean all the farm animals in the surrounding farming community actually belong to the town? If the area farmers hear about this they will be pissed and probably start doing the same thing to the sherrif that SonJohnBo did!

    No wonder SonJohnBo got so upset with these two jokers that he snapped and kicked the sherrif in the nuts. I can’t wait to see what revenge he’ll take out on Mark tomorrow before he plots his revenge on the entire town and it’s damn stinkin’ farm!

  63. Trilobite
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    The reason why John Thrasher is living like a hermit up in the back woods now becomes clear: he was tired of being mocked for his dainty little ankles.

  64. un malpaso
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    So… Ziggy’s into face-eating? Sounds like he has been hanging around with some of those rogue chimpanzees.

    Honestly, if I walked in to find a birthday cake decorated with my face, I’m pretty sure I would either flee the room screaming or calmly go insane.

  65. seismic-2
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:23 am [Reply]

    FC: Even if Jeffy and Dolly do undergo the sex-change swap that he apparently wants them to, they will both still be Keane Kids, so it’s still a lose-lose situation.

    Crank: On their way home from their high-school graduation, the kids pay a visit to their school bus driver for the past 12 years, to “thank” him for all that he has done for them. Let’s hope the next explosion in this neighborhood that we see via satellite has nothing to do with secret barbecue sauce.

    Ziggy: Tonight I shall dream of opening up a big box of cupcakes and seeing Ziggy faces on every one. It will not be a pleasant dream.

    MT: If Myson were to be arrested by Dick Tracy, would he kick him in the Pop Pops?

  66. Mr Foofram
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    MT – Has anyone actually seen these alleged moccasins? Elrod will go to great lengths to avoid drawing his characters’ feet. Notice how the Mountain Man’s left foot is below the panel while the right foot is embedded in the Sheriff’s, er, groin. No moccasins in sight.

  67. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    9 – Who knew Edda was an upholstery-munching sofa biter?
    [Why does this sign say "queek was here"? Oh, well.]

    Crock – Waa waa waa waa waaa-aaaah.

    Luann – There you go, TJ. You always knew that if you waited long enough and caught him at a low enough emotional ebb, one day Brad would be “game.”

  68. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Mark – “Stealing farm animals? I don’t know about that but [hai-YA!] I just got your cock and two eggs!”

    Pluggers – Who says “Pluggers” can’t change with the times? A few deft lines, and this drawing can be used with dozens of different captions! (Sample: “Pluggers like standing around looking stupid.” “For a plugger, every day is Casual Friday.”)

    Slylock – Hauling Shady Shrew in for questioning will give the paper the rigidity needed to support a third glass. Hic.

  69. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Ziggy – Ziggy’s Household Hints: If your pastry face sloughs off, you can put it on top of a cake and treat your friends to a party! (If you have no friends, substitute household pets!)

    “Christ, what a cake hole!”

    @ElkMeadow (#y110): Let me know which one’s the Nimoy one when you locate it. I’ll be interested to hear it too.

    @wossname (#13): Is this the first time we’ve ever seen TJ not grinning?
    No, but it’s not more than about the fourth, ever, in the time I’ve been paying attent… oh, sweet Jeebus, what am I saying? I DON’T KNOW! WHY WOULD I KNOW THAT? GO ASK UNCLE LUMPY OR SOMEBODY!

    @McManx (#48): John just rochambeau’d the Sheriff so hard his hat flew off. Isn’t this how Rambo got started…?
    Well, you can’t say “rochambeau” without “r…ambo.”

  70. Ian C.
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    My dream for the current Spider-Man storyline is that “Big Boss” is actually Spider-Man, who has grown tired of this whole “great responsibility” gig, and just wants a few million dollars to help relocate him and his wife to Hollywood, so that he can save his troubled marriage by getting her a job on TV, so he can bear to look at her.

  71. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Ziggy – Is it too early to do a remake of The 40 Year Old Virgin?

  72. Charles
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    MT: I wonder if Elrod realizes that the sheriff can now pick up that rifle he just dropped and shoot Myson John in the head, splattering his innards all over the pristine wilderness, and that there’s barely any chance he’d get indicted for it.

  73. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#67): Seth, putting the Greek into Greek god.

  74. DAS
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    DTM: Things are different today, I hear every mother say …

  75. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    Prompted by hunger — and his parent’s addiction to oxycodone — Dennis makes a desperate dash for the front door, pushing a cart filled to the brim with groceries he found in the stockroom. And he has no intention of stopping until he reaches the parking lot, where a “getaway driver” (a/k/a his drug-addled father) waits in their car with the engine running.

    While attempting to distract the clerk (pharmacist?) with inane chit-chat, Mrs. Mitchell starts to panic when she realizes that Dennis ignored her instructions to be inconspicious and is actively calling attention to himself.

    Meanwhile, the pharmacist begins to chortle when it dawns on him that Dennis’ “stolen property” was a cart full of trash one of the employees had left by the back door!

  76. Uncle Lumpy
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#69):

    Hey, what makes you think I would know anything like that?

  77. jayjaybear
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Yeah, the line between “legitimate Popeye” and “Tijuana Bible Popeye” is REALLLLY thin right now…

  78. Alan's Addiction
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    Although the introduction of violence towards our righteous and always-just lawmen is a relatively new theme in “Mark Trail,” we can see in today’s strip that they’re also sticking to their traditions. By “traditions,” of course I mean violence and random emphasis of words. At least “not” and “didn’t” make some sort of sense to emphasize; I don’t know why “frame” also gets the treatment. Also, the strip gets props for the strange background in the second panel, which seems designed to make John look like a giant.
    I love the sentence “Gil goes toe-to-toe with the school board,” as it suggests actual fighting, rather than long, semantic arguments that will serve no purpose other than to increase each party’s sense of loathing and contempt toward the other. However, I’d like to point out that Gil is still in his “Star Trek alien” make-up, as evidenced by all the weird wrinkles on his face. Also, pay attention to Mr. Hobart’s eyes in the second panel, as it looks like he’s developing the ability to cause explosions with his eyes. With any luck, this whole strip will devolve into “Star Trek vs X-Men” in another week or two. Which would actually be somewhat more intelligible than most “Gil Thorp” storylines.
    I think it’s rather telling that, while sitting there, out of the blue, Momma’s first question to her eldest son is about infidelity. Fortunately for her, Thomas inherited her intelligence, or else he’d ask, “What are you trying to say, Momma? Did I ever actually meet my real father?” I guess this strip is meant to be some sort of commentary on Anthony Wiener. Unfortunately, as is always the case when comic strips attempt to be topical, it’s six weeks out of date and turns the whole strip into a creepy, odious farce that makes us question the possible skeletons in the main characters’ closets.
    Speaking of being topical, it’s almost as bad when comic strips steadfastly refuse to keep up with the times and stay stuck 60 years in the past. This is the case with today’s “Dennis the Menace.” No modern parent would hesitate to put the extremely-annoying (but non-menacing) little brat on Ritalin or Adderall. Of course, this may not be a viable long-term solution, which is where the 75-year-old cultural references come into play in this strip. Dennis, say hello to electroshock therapy!
    What do you do when the hero of your strip is a hopelessly incompetent man-child incapable of anything involving an attention span or logical thought? If you’re the writers of “Spider-Man,” you introduce villains who are so laughably stupid that the hero’s faults pale in comparison. In today’s strip, we see that Manhattan’s crime lords are incapable of distinguishing between “goals,” (ie, humiliate and destroy Spider-Man) and “a plan,” (ie, I will hire an independent think tank to research and publish a paper showing that Spider-Man actually gets in the way of the police and only attracts super-criminals to our fair city). If they actually pay all that money to The Shadow before he completes his task, I’d say that it’s a miracle they made all that money without some unscrupulous Nigerian scammer swiping it first. Also, I’d like to make a prediction that the major point of The Shadow (I refuse to call him “Big Boss,” because you need to have underlings and a corporate structure to get that type of title); his major power and/or major attraction as a villain will be the mystery of who he actually is. At the end of this lengthy story line, he’ll be revealed to be Mary Jane.
    I think it’s a huge indictment of our culture that we allowed a thinly-veiled excuse to sell greeting cards masquerade as a comic strip for forty years. This fact will only embolden America’s enemies and embarrass us in front of our allies. My fellow Americans; for the good of our country, we must rise as one and destroy those responsible for “Ziggy!”

  79. Doctor Handsome
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Framing Kenny Loggins for livestock theft? Look out, Sheriff. You just entered the Danger Zone!!!

  80. Katy
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    Hey! The Mountain Man is kicking the sheriff in the nuts! I just thought everyone should know.

  81. Doctor Handsome
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Quit pointing at me like that, Gil. Hobart’s over there to your left. No, not that far left. OK, now you’re just facing the complete opposite direction from him. Dude, do you even know which one’s Hobart?

  82. seismic-2
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Gil goes toe-to-toe with the School Board, and John Thrasher goes toe-to-…. Um, never mind.

  83. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    @DAS (#74):

    now there’s the best earworm I’ve gotten here in weeks! :-D

  84. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#75):

    Would I be calling undue attention to myself if I pointed out that the correct spelling is c-o-n-s-p-i-c-u-o-u-s ?

  85. Inspector Clueless
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    MT: (Mark to sonjohn); John, I have good news. The sheriff now realizes that you are not the one who took all that stuff from town.
    The bad news is, you physically assulted the sheriff, which gives you a minimum 30 month prison sentence.
    The WORSE news is that your savage assult on the sheriff has raised his voice a full octave and now when he talks he sounds like the BeeGees did when they sang! Since he now can’t face the town people he quit sherrifing and took over residence in that comfy cave of yours.

  86. Doctor Handsome
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    No, I don’t cheat on my wife! I don’t even have a computer! Or functioning male genitalia!

  87. Katy
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    Also, the final panel in today’s Mark Trail irresistibly recalls for me the best Mark Trail panel ever, one I loved so much that I cut it out and put it in my cubicle. It shows Mark gleefully kicking down a door while saying “SORRY ABOUT THIS — I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU.” I looked back through the archives but couldn’t find it. It was awesome, partly because he was so polite, and partly because his tiny, tiny legs looked grafted onto his gigantic torso. Which is why I am now sure that Elrod draws each panel anew, with no cut-and-paste, because Myson John is more or less reasonably proportioned.

    God, I loved that panel so much.

  88. FOOBed again
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @ElkMeadow (#y110):

    If you can’t find it there it might also be here:
    (Sears Radio Theater was renamed Mutual Radio Theater in late 1979).

  89. Doctor Handsome
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    The Big Boss can keep Spider-Man from interfering with the mob’s plans. So congratulations, Big Boss, you have all the powers and abilities of a DVR full of Glee.

  90. ArchieNemesis
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    MT: (In Monty Python accent) “A moccasin to the crotch? Luxury!”

  91. Charles
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    GT: You made it personal, Hobart, which means that we no longer need to discuss anything substantive. With those glasses and that cute, neatly trimmed little mustache, you look like a faggot, you faggy fag faggot!

    I do like the 1987 Don Johnson (when he got edgy and dramatic and Miami Vice got darker) style Gil’s stylin’ there.

  92. Matt
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    MT: This entire mess could have been avoided if only the three of them would have simply picked up that stupid Jackelrod ball and started playing a 3-way game of catch with it!

    What do you call three idiots on a mountain playing catch with a Jackelrod ball? I’m not sure, but Jackelrod must know, he photocopied the damn thing!

  93. Walker of Dog
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    GT: Gil really struck a nerve – Hobart’s bird-foot eye has FOUR toes!

    MT: Ouch – right in the deputies.

    MW: Mary: “Yes, Liza, weep. Weep a torrent of tears! Once your face finishes dissolving, no man will want you. Next!”

    Phan: Kit: “Oh my God, why didn’t I buy that horse with the upgrade package? It came with a radio!”

    Luann: Why is the lamp taking a dump on the end table? Come on – Brad’s head is right there!

    S-M: Big Boss has been scooting around in his socks for weeks to build up a nasty static electricity charge. Spider-Man is going to get such a pinch.

  94. fluffy
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: So what exactly does it mean to “win big?” I dared to check the contest page:

    If you impress Tom Wilson II, your caption will be added to the original strip. The next top 5 will receive an autographed copy of the 40 Year Anniversary Book!

    Mercy, I’d be able to RETIRE on that!

  95. Dood
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    DtM: Ha, ha, Alice discretely refers to her habit as “vitamins.”

  96. But What Do I Know?
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    @Ian C. (#70): That’s a great idea! Which means, of course, that there is no way Peter Parker could come up with it. . .

  97. Matt
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    ZIGGY: I’ve got the winning caption for ZIGGY’s 40th anniversary! Are you ready?…


  98. Dood
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: What’s in the cake that would appeal to a pantsless, vaguely human character, a dog, a cat and a bird?

  99. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    MT: Give Jackelrod this much credit. Somewhere along the line he realized that Myson Mike’s ploy to frame John Fucking Thrasher was stupid and transparent, and that Thrasher his own damn self would have to draw out the suspense while doing something really stupid. And lo! foot-to-nut contact with the sheriff certainly does count.

    GT: Oh sure, it may look dull from the outside. But that’s only because Gil is using his psionic powers to suppress Hobart’s laser eyebeams. Professor X would be proud.

    S-M: “First humiliate him, then destroy him. Well, that sounds plenty specific. Who do I make this blank check out to?”

    Ziggy: A pantsless man eating his own melted face. That’s something the New Yorker caption contests don’t give you.

    BB: I applaud Beetle’s last-panel impression of Gypsy from Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Keep circulating the tapes.

    MW: When Mary says, “It’s best if you don’t pursue a relationship with him,” you’d better listen. Otherwise you’ll find a horse head in your bed, and I don’t mean Dr. Drew.

    Luann: It’s been a while–too long, really–since we’ve seen TJ. Thanks to his 2/3 of a black leisure suit, though, we know that he’s just as “stylin’” as ever.

    Popeye: I’d say that the Oid plot is coming to a head, but that phrase only adds more discomfiting sexual symbolism. Coals to Newcastle and all that.

    Phantom: Thanks to the blood loss, Ghost-Who-Stabs-Self keeps losing consciousess as Hacker E Potter natters at him. Sweet blissful blood loss.

  100. Maggie the Cat
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#68): “Stealing farm animals? I don’t know about that but [hai-YA!] I just got your cock and two eggs!

    Bravo, sir! Bravo! COTW!

  101. Charles
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#98): Eyeballs, man. The cake is made out of human eyeballs. Cats and birds eat them. Dogs eat anything, and Ziggy, well there’s nothing natural about him, so there’s nothing in that world that would be more or less appropriate.

  102. Liam
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    MT-Congratulations John the sheriff can arrest you for assaulting a police officer and Mark could be arrested as an accesory to assault or he could just blow both your brains and Mark’s brains out and leave the both of you rotting on the mountainside. Of course Mark has shown a resistence to bullet to the head in the past.

  103. Calico
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    MT – “Fuck, my fuckin’ balls!” (Paulie Walnuts)
    That was definitely a crotch kick, and Mountain Man may go to jail for it.

    Ziggy – Happy Anniversary, No-pants!
    This cake deserves a spot on the TV show Worst Cooks in America, and the Cakewrecks site.

  104. Calico
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    @Dood (#95):
    Next, Alice asks where the “Lydia Pinkham’s Medicine” is stocked. Discreetness counts in a Lady’s comport, after all.

  105. Ned Ryerson
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Mountain Man Moccasins, from J Peterman:

    You walk the high country alone, in retreat from you boot clad past. Your steps caress the ground, leaving no traces and taking orders only from your heart. Supple, oil-tanned, full-grain leather envelops your feet so your soles commune with the spirit of the earth, but if things get trying, as you knew they would, a swift kick to the nads of the establishment can be delivered to deliver the message: “I wish to walk this land in peace, but these feet are still registered weapons.” Men’s whole and half sizes: 8 through 13.

  106. bats :[
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Bill Thompson (#121Y): your concept of a remake of “Bladerunner” (I’m thinking “Beanrunner” as the working title) is GREAT!

  107. Ned Ryerson
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Ned Ryerson (#105): “…delivered to deliver”, ugh. Proof read fail.

  108. Ned Ryerson
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:52 am [Reply]

    Ziggy Caption challenge-o-rama: “I’ve been doing this for 40 years. Eat me.”

  109. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#35): I’m willing to bet it’s Dr. Rex who’ll be applying the first set of straps.

  110. Rhekarid
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    I think Spider-Man is in real danger, here. His enemy is clearly the Neighborhood Watch guy, who can only be defeated by being alert and attentive.

  111. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    MT: I wonder if the sheriff will fall back into a pit?

  112. Neyba Bob
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: “You’d think after 40 years those cheapskates would have given me more than one lousy candle”.

  113. bats :[
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    And today’s Classic Bloom Country….absolutely CLASSIC!

  114. UncleJeff
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#49): Haven’t the “Oids” been around a couple of times?
    I see Wimpy wants to see Olive “lick” the Oids while he watches.
    Unspeakable filth!

  115. bats :[
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    I went there and enter the Ziggy contest. Yes, I did.
    Parrot (who is something of a sadistic psittacine): “Wow, that’s great — now let’s set fire to Ziggy’s REAL face!”

  116. Neyba Bob
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy(2): “Pity the fish didn’t make it. Oh by the way we’re having sushi to start with”.

  117. nightfly
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    Folks… remember that this is Mark Trail. There are no such thing as testicles here. You may as well call him Sheriff Ken: even manly parts are not manly enough for Mark Trail’s clean-shaven, law-and-order world. Therefore, “kicked in the solar plexus” is perfectly correct. That’s where the solar plexus is kept in the Trail-verse.

  118. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#113): It made me want to flick on my lighter and sway to the music. But I don’t smoke so I don’t have a lighter so I flicked a booger instead.

  119. Maggie the Cat
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail is in a real pickle here. As the straightlaced do-gooder he can hardly stand to see a man of the law assaulted, yet he knows John F Thrasher is no thief. Oh, Mark… what choice will you make? Will you talk some sense into the Sheriff as you lovingly perform first aid on his bruised scrotum? Or will you help take down Thrasher, no thief but now a proven police-officer-assaulter? Choices, choices….

  120. Bill Thompson
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#106): Thanks, bats:[! Your title is catchier than my idea of “Do Cartoonists Dream of Electric Sheep?” The scary thought is, what if we really are living in a Philip K. Dick world? What if those strips with no hint of human compassion are the outward sign of a Nexus-6 conspiracy, as they try to warp us into a soulless culture? How do we end the threat posed by undying legacy and zombie strips? In other words, how do we get Lynn Johnston to retire?

  121. SequelMan
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Is there a POINT to this damn plotline? Oh, right… art.

  122. Bill Thompson
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: I saw “toe-to-toe” and thought of 9 Chickweed Lane. I don’t know why, because I’m not on any medications. Although I may have to change that.

  123. Esther Blodgett
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    @jayjaybear (#77): *sprays coffee out nose*

  124. Irischano
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    While I’m thankful Ziggy isn’t going to make us suffer through a grating parade of self-congratulation à la Blondie’s 75th anniversary, I wouldn’t mind a crossover where the other depressing loser comic strip characters attend Ziggy’s party only to find themselves more miserable than they could ever think to imagine. Basically, I want to see Ziggy, the Lockhorns, and a few Pluggers, all in the same panel, wearing party hats and forlorn expressions.

  125. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    @Irischano (#124): I want to see Spider Man in a chair next to Ziggy watching TV.

  126. bats :[
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Thompson (#120): honestly, I’m at a loss. Do you really WANT to see Lynn Ellie in a Zhora outfit (knee-high boots, a bikini-bottom, a clip-on bikini-top, and a transparent rain-poncho) thundering through several plate-glass windows?

  127. Bryan
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy eating his face isn’t as frightening as the fact that Ziggy’s creators are still using rub-down halftone dots to create his 40th anniversary logo, then scanning it sloppily and reducing it to create a sloppy moiré mess.

  128. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    ReFOOB: Dogs Men! Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em, amirite? Hairballs.

  129. Marc
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy- I think I have the winning caption: “40 Year Old Virgin”

    Dennis the mediocre menace- Alice’s street dealer must be on vacation.

    Funky- Nothing like smirking and enjoying someone else’s misery eh Les? It’s funny when you tease people who are down, but don’t anyone dare laugh at you or it’s ground’s to pissily stomp away and call everyone involved a “bad friend”.

    Luann- B wad is well on his way to getting fat again, Toni will cease being attracted to whatever it was about him that, well can’t say turned her on because sex is apparently physically impossible in the luanniverse, and run back to Dirk or to obvious homosexual Gunther which will in turn get Luann jealous. Oh the possibilities in this story arc are endless…So kill me please.

  130. TallyHO
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#114):

    I hadn’t seen the Oids before this storyline.

    Apparently they are Goons that are shaved. And, since Alice the Goon is the most prominent Goon, I’m guessing most if not all of these Oids are male Oids. But, what do I know? Alice is currently not shaved, according to previous strips.

    ZIGGY: (and believe me, I do not feel good that there is a caption CONTEST and that I and others are throwing out throwaway jokes online, but, here goes nothing:)

    “The candle represents the number of years when we actually had clever captions.”

  131. Red Greenback
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy is getting head for his 40th anniversary. So I guess the caption should be: “I don’t even need to blow out the candle, I already got my wish!”

  132. Professor Fate
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    MT: His technique is all wrong. if you’re moccasins wearing you’ll break your toes kicking someone like that. The thing to do is either a) do a side kick using the heel/side of the foot to make contact. Or, if you absolutely must kick him in the nuts, extend your foot so you hit him with the top of your foot. Less chance of breaking something and a better chance of sending his testacles back where they came from.

    SM: Interesting how we never see Big Boss and the Scarlet Sting together.

  133. cheech wizard
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    MT – He’s not kicking the sheriff in the solar plexus – he’s kicking him in da balls. Believe me, I’m an expert on the subject.

  134. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 27th, 2011 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @nightfly (#117):

    That’s where the solar plexus is kept in the Trail-verse.

    What can I say? That’s nuts too.

  135. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Professor Fate (#132): Psst… steel-toe moccasins.

  136. commodorejohn
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:05 pm [Reply]


    Curtis – Yeah, absolutely! Why hold on to the few precious years of true free time society allows you when you could be exchanging an irreplacable part of your life for minimum wage?

    FW – There is no conceivable universe in which this would ever be a plausible sequence of action and reaction. That’s all there is to it. [*]

    Luann – The bright side of this storyline is that I can imagine Brad undergoing a Ted Forth-style descent into madness. It won’t ever happen, of course, but I can still imagine it. (The brighter side is, HA HA UNLIKEABLE LUANN CHARACTERS ARE SUFFERING HA HA HA.)

    MT – So what I’ve learned from Mark Trail is that nothing is really wrong as long as you apologize in the middle of doing it. I’m going to apply this lesson to my own life!

    OBH – “And then after the fall of Troy, she was raped, sold to the king of Mycenae, and murdered by his wife. And they lived happily ever after, the end.”

    Phantom – “How ’bout the science of shut the hell up?

  137. Tagged
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Doonesbury: In re-runs again…

    NS: I’m glad I’m not married..

  138. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Zits: Those moobs are ghastly! MOOBS ARE GHASTLY!

  139. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#136): Yeah, I thought the story of Cassandra* was kind of an odd choice for Ruthie’s bedtime story too. Glad I’m not the only one.

    *not the cat

  140. word-doctor
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    @pugfuggly (#19):

    “Another set of assless chaps is missing from a clothesline. Must be that dagnabbit Highland Scrotum Punter again.”

  141. Bill Thompson
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#126): Ugh, ack, no! I had the book version in mind, where the androids come in a variety of basic bodies, some unappealing. (Interestingly, Dick’s first description of Rachel Rosen reads “She had, on her sharply defined small face, an expression of sullen distaste.” Drop the “sharply defined” and that could describe almost all of Batiuk’s characters . . . and isn’t his name close to that of Roy Batty? Coincidence, or androidal lack of imagination?)

  142. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @Jasper Jinx (#23):

    They have computers in Gasoline Alley. Why is Thomas stuck in 1970?

    To ask the question is to know the answer.

  143. Phred22
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    @McManx (#48): MT: If Myson John is taking Sly Stallone’s role in the first Rambo, that leaves Mark with the Richard Crenna part.

  144. Little Guy
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: Casper the Mu-Rushing Collegiate Ghost gives Ziggy a Bronx Cheer.

  145. Effluvius Erratus, CmD
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Dear Would-be Super Villains,

    Unless you have a sixth sense of the spider-, radar-, or psychic variety or the technological equivalent thereof, you would do well to avoid costumes and disguises, such as the high-collared phosphorescent trenchcoat/wide-brimmed fedora combo, that completely block your peripheral and altitudinal vision and inhibit your night vision.

    No, Spider-Man will never think of exploiting your limited vision and thereby best you. But the Punisher will*. In fact, you won’t even see it coming when he kills your stupid-looking ass, just on principle, before you’ve even committed any crimes.

    Effluvius Errats, CmD

    *Or Daredevil. Or Luke Cage and Iron Fist. Or the Fantastic Four. Or the Avengers. Or…well, you get the idea.

  146. Dood
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: There’s a valuable lesson here. College and NFL placekickers should be as polite as the Mountain Man was before splitting Sheriff Stachey McBackpack’s uprights.

  147. Braniff
    June 27th, 2011 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    FC: Was this cartoon a tie-in with the recent gay pride celebrations taking place around the country. And considering the recent legalization of same-sex marriage in New York, I think it’s quite timely. Perhaps little Jeffy Keane will be the next gay icon–on the same lines as Judy Garland, Elton John or Ellen Degeneres.

  148. Stroker Ace
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    MT – Thank you Jack Elrod for bringing fringe back into fashion! It’s the new black!

  149. Batman Beatles
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I feel like Milhouse. “When are we going to get to the new secretary!” *sobs*

  150. thespian
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    I suggest the caption for Ziggy be, “I don’t even have a computer!”

  151. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    @Trilobite (#63): But dainty man-ankles are a trademark of the Elrod illustrative style; every man who’s a real man sports delicate, slender ankles, attached to diminutive feet that hold far greater kicking force than their size would indicate. It’s like a troupe of door-breaking, ball-busting he-ballerinas.

    @Ned Ryerson (#105): Excellent!

  152. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

  153. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#76): So, I followed Uncle Lumpy’s link to the three-year-old episode in which TJ briefly lost his smile, and what do I find? A 9CL in which Seth’s boyfriend is contemplating cheating on him with a woman. This goes to prove the ancient lore:

    Whenever TJ loses his smiles,
    A gay guy falls for feminine wiles.

    This is further modified by another bit of ancient lore:

    Gay or straight, take your pick,
    All agree, Mceldowney’s a dick.

    Ancient lore is the best lore.

  154. Jeff Soesbe (yeff)
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Hey Big Boss, how about we give you a half a mil and you just destroy him? Humiliation – he does just fine with that by himself.

    - yeff

  155. Paladin
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    I for one hope the Mark Trail universe devolves into chaos sooner rather than later. I’m looking forward to reading Mark Trail: After the Fall, wherein he fights Mad Max style poachers and sneering eco-villains in the shattered wilderness of post-apocalyptic America.

  156. Effluvius Erratus, CmD
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    @Paladin (#155): We don’t need another Mark Trail,
    We don’t need to know the way home,
    All we want is life beyond…
    The Thrasherdome.

  157. corinthian
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Maybe paying the “Big Boss” will succeed where so many non-profit super villains have failed. The free market triumphs again!

  158. cheech wizard
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    DT – Yep – that’s Junior and Moon Maid’s daughter, no doubt about it. Wonder if she’s still got those antennae under those locks of hair? If so, where’s the little lightning bolts that should be constantly buzzing off them?

  159. cheech wizard
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    GT – So Gil is going to engage Hobart in a pissing match? Maybe he really is a high school gym instructor after all.

  160. Commodore Schmidlapp
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    MT: “Eat genuine handsewn deerskin, Copper!”

  161. Samurai Cat
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Roto13 (#57): Uggh. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

    And on the desk.

    And my lap.

  162. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 27th, 2011 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

    @Paladin (#155): Well, Rusty already has a (hideously deformed) head start on that whole “mutant” thing.

  163. Walker of Dog
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#115): Me too – here’s my entry:
    “Let’s try this again. This time, nobody crap on it, OK? I’m almost out of frosting!”

  164. bitterlawstudent
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    That Michael McDonald look-a-like gets in a pretty high kick for someone wearing mom jeans. Maybe when this is all settled Mark can take him shopping wherever he bought that fuchsia hiking blouse and canary yellow backpack to update his wardrobe.

  165. crazyjerseygirl
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    I honestly thought Ziggy had a boob-cake.
    I don’t know if that is better or worse than having a face-cake.
    Also today is my birthday…..which means I share a birthday with Ziggy….which means I should go off to die now.

  166. Liam
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy-For the next forty years I am getting rid of my shirt. If those “Love Is” kids can get away with being nude all the time then so can I.

  167. Anonymous
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    @bitterlawstudent (#164): Nutsacking a sheriff is one way of takin’ it to the streets and I gotta imagine it keeps you running…

  168. tallyHO
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    an odd thing about that comic…if he blows out the candle, he will also inadvertently blow his nose…

    another thing: this is probably the only time Ziggy will ever be able to say that he can have his cake and eat it too. Let’s face it, having his face on the cake is his only moment in the sun in 40 years.

    (and, I agree with someone above: the main course for his birthday dinner was Goldfish Sushi)

  169. bats :[
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#136): re A3G: you’d think she’d be used to disappointment by now…or worse.

  170. Red Greenback
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    @crazyjerseygirl (#165): Happy birthday wishes and sincere sympathies, crazyjerseygirl! I feel your pain, as I share a b-day with Dr. Drew Cory. :(

  171. Beetle Bumstead
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:23 pm [Reply]

    Look! Ziggy with a Hat returns!

  172. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @crazyjerseygirl (#165): Happy birthday! And, my condolences!

  173. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    @crazyjerseygirl (#165): Happy birthday to you. Well, happy as possible under the circumstances.

  174. ElkMeadow
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    @wossname (#13):

    Luann – Is this the first time we’ve ever seen TJ not grinning?

    He didn’t grin when he got an eyeful of Naked Nancy.

  175. ArchieNemesis
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#52): You really hit the Mary Worth nail on the head.

  176. Charles
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @crazyjerseygirl (#165): Happy birthday, and my condolences for sharing it with Ziggy. If it’s any consolation, while I don’t share a birthday with a repulsive comic strip character (to my knowledge), Elizabeth and Anthony “guess they got engaged” on my birthday.

  177. pugfuggly
    June 27th, 2011 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

    @Charterstoned (#41):

    Thanks y’all :)

    @word-doctor (#140):

    “Another set of assless chaps is missing from a clothesline. Must be that dagnabbit Highland Scrotum Punter again.”

    Ah of course, Yosemite Sam vs. the Highland Scrotum Punter. Can you believe that Warner Bros. decided not to release one?

  178. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    @Dood (#146):

    NFL placekickers haven’t kicked straight-on since Mark Trail was up-to-date. They all follow Professor Fate’s advice and kick with the side of their foot.

  179. Austria
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Curtis: It’s official. Every cartoonist ever is willing to spit in the face of reality for a summer job plotline.

    FW: It’s like he suddenly remembered “Oh, wait, summer is happening. …Crap. SNEAKY EXPOSITION!!” And then more smirking.


  180. Baka Gaijin
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: At least The Sheriff won’t have to worry about his penis touching his vagina anymore.

  181. Thomas B.
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    That is one of Ziggy’s condoms?! We were wrong when we said Ziggy won’t wear pants, clearly he can’t wear pants.

    Well of course that is a condom. Look how excited the pussy is getting from just looking at it.

    Mark Trail
    Ah Moccasins, the size 12 Bruno Magli’s of the comic strip world.

    It is too bad comics are not an auditory medium because a kick like that deserves a sound effect like this.

  182. Baka Gaijin
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: I call “bullshit” on this. I tried it. I accordian-folded my newspaper and set it atop a matched pair of Lalique crystal highballs. When I set the third highball on it, it fell to the marble floor and shattered into a million pieces, much like Nurse Liza’s heart will be by the time dessert arrives.

  183. Baka Gaijin
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: I call “bullshit” on this. It’s a well-known fact that Pluggers are too cheap to buy a handy when the boss provides the pager for free.

  184. ArchieNemesis
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    See if you can find the following items in today’s Mark Trail:

    - flying fringe
    - a passion-inflaming pink shirt
    - a somehow lame but insanely powerful front kick
    - a gigantic backpack with sleeping bag and blanket and every pocket stuffed
    - a nearly tearful, self-thumb-pointing, almost criminal confession
    - the world’s least sincere apology

  185. ElkMeadow
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    The sheriff may or may not frame Bearded Dude for a crime he didn’t commit, but he will charge him for the one he did in the third panel. You’re going in, dude.

  186. Baka Gaijin
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    Apartment 3-G: From the tableau in the penultimate panel, the only logical conclusion is that LuAnn Powers’ maiden name was “Linski.”

  187. Mark B
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

    For some reason, the ‘Big Boss’ in Spider Man reminds me of Hugo, the Abominable Snowman:

    Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him…

    Except that Daffy Duck, Hugo’s intended target, had about 1,000,000 times the spunk of Peter Parker.

  188. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

  189. Wayne
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    In related comics news, the Denver Post has just eliminated thirteen comics:

    Doonesbury (!), Peanuts (now Sunday-only), Bizarro, Brevity, Dustin, F-Minus, Frazz, Heart of the City, The Knight Life, Non Sequitur, Overboard, Rhymes with Orange, Scary Gary.

    Comics that survived the cut include:

    Beetle Bailey, Blondie, Dennis the Menace, The Family Circus, Garfield, Marmaduke, Pluggers.

    Not happy.

  190. Bill Thompson
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail: The good news is, Myson Mike will be an only child.

  191. Baka Gaijin
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Jumble: Spoiler Alert-The teacher dressed up for school because she was this. |S|L|U|T|T|Y|.

    Herb and Jamaal: Mildred, how about start with a shave. In another week Eula’s mustache will rival Herb’s.

  192. Baka Gaijin
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    Beardo: Isn’t that the only reason men get dogs?

    The Duplex: Yeah, right, this joke would have been a scream, say, in 1975 before digital watches became all the rage.

    New Adventures of Queen Victoria: I love Vicky’s angry eyes.

  193. commodorejohn
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    @Charles (#176): I wonder if they’ve decided whether they were actually engaged or not yet?

  194. Crankenstank
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    “Solar plexus”? Checking the artwork, I’m wondering: is that Latin for “balls”?

  195. Old School Allie Cat
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:56 pm [Reply]

    Luann – Hey, I know a way they can raise some money for rent! TJ is short for Tug Jobs, right?

  196. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#192): Actually, some guys get dogs to meet chicks in the park.

    Or… to ward off evilscaryclowns.

  197. Walker of Dog
    June 27th, 2011 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#133): How did you get to be an expert on the solar plexus?
    Do you go around raining down incapacitating gut punches upon random strangers?
    Do you have a newsletter?

  198. Crankenstank
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Au contraire, when Gil Thorp ramps up into insinuations of mens rea and malum prohibitem, that’s when I get out the popcorn and say, OOOOH YEAAAHHHH, we’re going to have a hot time tonight! Because the random workings of local government are far more fascinating than the “sports action” you can depict in three panels spread over seven weeks that constitutes most of Gil Thorp’s plotlines. Bring it on!

  199. forgot
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    isnt curtis too young to get a job? everybody knows rex morgans poop dont stink!

  200. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

  201. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    @Effluvius Erratus, CmD (#145):

    Unless you have a sixth sense of the spider-, radar-, or psychic variety or the technological equivalent thereof, you would do well to avoid costumes and disguises, such as the high-collared phosphorescent trenchcoat/wide-brimmed fedora combo, that completely block your peripheral and altitudinal vision and inhibit your night vision.

    You have a point — there’s nothing wrong with a super-villain adopting a simple green jumpsuit for his/her costume:

    (He’s “Red” because he’s a Commie!)

  202. This Guy
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    re-FOOB is usually by turns lame and infuriating, but this arc is just plain baffling. Elly has gone from “That filthy male dog, it’d serve him right to get run over by a flaming chemical truck” to “Well, we searched for five minutes, it’s time to give up” to “Oh noes my precious little puppy I’ll just die of sadness without him.” Elizabeth Kübler-Ross would take one look at this and say “Seriously, what the fuck?”

  203. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    @forgot (#199): Drug dealers don’t worry about trivial things like child labor laws. Right in the back of Gunther’s barber shop.

  204. littlestevie
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    FW: I am sorry that I am late to the rant about suicide girl getting canned for kissing Les. Of all the ridiculous story lines in Funky this one is right up there. They are two unmarried adult teachers, the principal (who I thought was a friend of Les) does not know the circumstance of the kiss. It could of been a joke or whatever. It was not Les and some 16 year old. If this happened out in California, the CTA would ream the principal’s ass a hole so big it would be real easy to stick his head up it.

  205. tb4000
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    MT: Why would a scruffy dude in Mark Trail steal farm animals?

    Whatever you’re thinking, you’re absolutely correct.

  206. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#205): Farm animals are much tamer than say, a wild bear, when Mountain Man gets the urge.

  207. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    @tb4000 (#205): Thrasher had a little lamb. . . .

  208. littlestevie
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    GT: As much as I would like that kick to be a shot to the ‘nads, I think Josh is right, it is a kick to the stomach. It looks like Mountain Man is kicking the sheriff with the sole of his moccasin, this will allow the sheriff to compare M.M.’s moccasin print with the prints found at the burglary. I know John is trying to rule himself out as a thief, but I am not sure this is the best way to do it. He really should call in Slylock.

  209. gnome de blog
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: “Even Ted Forth gets to wear pants. Why can’t I?”

  210. seismic-2
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#192):

    New Adventures of Queen Victoria: I love Vicky’s angry eyes.

    Which are of course what Kenny Loggins is also flashing in panel 2 of today’s MT. Sorry about this, Sheriff Messina.

  211. Effluvius Erratus
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#201): You know, between the moon bases and the super-powered baboon squads, it’s wonder the Soviet Union didn’t go bankrupt decades earlier.

  212. gnome de blog
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been gone for a few days, so I just caught up on Luann. Kudos to Evans for: 1) Frank asserting himself and even giving Brad a little credit, 2) injecting the Nancy-TJ innuendo, 3) having Luann actually say something sensible about the Brad-Toni romance, and 4) hinting that Doofus Brad and Slacker Brad are a thing of the past. I sincerely hope this week doesn’t undo the good work but Monday isn’t off to a good start. You did yourself credit Mr. Evans, but you’re still on probation.

  213. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

    @cheech wizard (#158) on DT’s Moon Unit: “Wonder if she’s still got those antennae under those locks of hair? If so, where’s the little lightning bolts that should be constantly buzzing off them?”

    The sheriff borrowed ‘em, but hopes to return ‘em as soon as he can possibly stand up and walk again.

  214. littlestevie
    June 27th, 2011 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

    Is that Les getting in touch with his feminine side in today’s Jumble?

  215. bats :[
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

  216. Fashion Police
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    We cannot recall if we had previously noted our appreciation for Mrs. Worth’s early-1990s aubergine tie-neck blouse. She’s the very model of a modern major meddler!

  217. Aviatrix
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

    DT: The poster in the background says “Runaways, someone at home is thinking about you.” That’s full-on creepy. I’d sure keep running. Perhaps that’s it’s purpose, to scare any homeless teen who was thinking of spending the night on that loading dock into finding other digs.

  218. Rantingdude
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    Every 40 years, the hideous ritual begins again. The new Ziggy and all the animals eat the old Ziggy in a grotesque feast. The new Ziggy thinks he’s got the upper hand, but he doesn’t realize he’s the one suffering the cruel fate- 40 years of being Ziggy. At least the old Ziggy gets to die.

  219. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Wayne (#189): Wow. I guess they’re pretty committed to that 85-and-older market, aren’t they?

    Look on the bright side: At least they’re not adding Reply All.

  220. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @Crankenstank (#194): “Solar plexus? Checking the artwork, I’m wondering: is that Latin for balls?”

    Yes. The “Solar” indicates that they are big and shiny. Well anyway, they sure are now.

  221. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#219): “Look on the bright side: At least they’re not adding Reply All.”

    They must’ve seen today’s. That last panel plumbs new depths of murky incomprehensibility, giving new resonance to the old Biblical phrase “Through a glass eye, darkly.”

  222. Effluvius Erratus
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    MT: More and more I look at that admittedly delightful third panel, the more I feel that it needs a sound effect…a SPLUT! or QLONK! or something, but I’m not sure what…

  223. Effluvius Erratus
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    @Thomas B. (#181) & @Effluvius Erratus (#222): Oh, dammit. I’m real sorry for stepping on snark there, Thomas.

  224. gnome de blog
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    I happen to be a big fan of Rodney Crowell, who wrote the sound track to Sunday’s tear-inducing piece of Funkyversal drivel. I’m not sure whether to be pleased that Rod’s getting a little love from middle-aged middle-of-the-road mediocrity, or appalled that he’s been associated with same. I hope he got royalties for the use of his lyric.

  225. gnome de blog
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    Pope Josh said:

    There’s been a slight but noticeable uptick lately of Trailian good guys physically assaulting law enforcement officers. To be sure, it’s all to forward the cause of good in the long run, but can this “ends justify the means” philosophy really co-exist with this feature’s traditional straight-arrow morals?

    It is consistent with the long-held Elrodian tenet that Trailian good guys are above the law.

  226. dale
    June 27th, 2011 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    The current story line for Gil Thorp is based on a real song ( actually more of a recitation).
    Hint: Gil is talking at a schoolboard member.

  227. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#225):

    Trailian good guys are above the law.

    Well, not so much above as “coming at it with a swift kick to the ‘nads” (or “a right(eous) hook”—pick your poison).

  228. skippykawakami
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Wait, Thomas doesn’t have a computer? At all? Potential infidelity aside, my God man, it’s 2011. BOTH of my parents each have their own laptops, plus a shared desktop computer, plus my mom’s iPhone and my dad’s iPad. They’re in their 60s! GPS flummoxes them. Hell, ice-makers are a bit beyond them. Yet even they can access the internet 24 hours a day from any spot on earth, and multiple spots simultaneously in their own home.

    Apparently the reason Thomas is holding forth his matrimonial vows isn’t because of a lack of internet access per se, but because he’s not attracted to any of the other women in whatever Amish or Old Order Mennonite congregation he belongs to. I guess we now know his day job is hand-crafting electric fire hearths.

    Not that he knows how to work one.

  229. Frank Lee Meidere
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    @dale (#226): Are you saying that Gil Thorp is actually in Harper Valley?

  230. Djur
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Big Boss knows what to do with spiders: you punch them, and then they turn into a little spinning box with a ‘plink’ noise, then you eat them, and then you call Para-Medic and tell her how it tasted.

  231. TheDiva
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    @Wayne (#189): The Post has needed to whittle down their comics section ever since they picked up pretty much everything the Rocky Mountain News ran when that paper went to Dead Tree Press Heaven. I wish I could say the selections for the chopping block surprised me, but frankly I’ve lived here too long for that.

  232. pugfuggly
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    @gnome de blog (#225):

    I think I would like to see a book published on the philosophy of Mark Trail.I’m imagining some kind of Ayn-Rand-meets-Grey-Owl treatise on the duty of the Naturalist Ubermensch to punch order back into society when power has been abused, with a few asides on the decadence of facial hair and the corrupting influence of women (“leave them in the cabin and have as little contact as possible with them!”)

  233. Wayne
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#231): I agree they probably had to get rid of something, but it amazes me how much crap they kept. As @bourbon babe, unbuckled said, they’re really going after that 85-and-over demographic.

    As the Post points out, all the comics are available on their website, but I plan to take my web-based comics-viewing business to and let them get the advertising revenue.

  234. pugfuggly
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

    @skippykawakami (#228):

    Of course he has a computer, he just convinced his stupid, meddling Momma that his laptop is a waffle iron.

  235. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Thompson (#y121):

    [Funky Winkerbean] You lose your arm in a car crash. You could replace it with a prosthetic. This would make your life easier and make the people around you more comfortable in your presence. However you refuse to wear a prosthetic. Why is that?

    “Refuse” might be too strong a word. In the first place, we have no way of knowing if Becky is even a good candidate for a prosthesis.

    Wearing a prosthesis isn’t always practical or comfortable — and Becky may have even tried wearing one at some point after her accident. Do you know for a fact that she didn’t?

    I’m willing to cut the character — and Batiuk — some slack for a change!

  236. dale
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#229):

    Milford is in the Valley Conference. Don’t they know the name or are they ashamed?

  237. seismic-2
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#219): I made pretty much that same comment to Comics Riff on WaPo, before I read yours herein. Sorry for the oversnark! (However, if “Reply All” were to be lambasted by multiple readers every day on the site that first inflicted it upon the world, maybe sooner or later they would get the message that it is not the new sensation that they apparently had hoped it would be.)

  238. Old School Allie Cat
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#235): She actually does have a prosthetic arm, or at least she did.

    And God help me for knowing that.

    But back in the late 90s early 2000s when she first went out with Comic Book Guy (when Wally was MIA for the first time) she forgot to put her “party arm” (her words) on for a date, and he said he didn’t mind. I think that would have been the last time we saw it.

    My knowledge of story lines in Funky Winkerbean borders on pathetic. It’s Pathetic-Adjacent.

  239. ElkMeadow
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#76):

    I like how his wistful look is for Toni, but Frank and Nancy think it’s about the house. It explains why TJ is always begging Brad to have her over. Somehow, someday, Toni will be TJ’s, even if he has to cheat behind Brad’s back.

  240. Liam
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    Judge Parker-The writer knows that this storyline is boring so for the rest of the story he is going to show women lounging around in their pajamas as a comprise to the people who are reading it.

    Mark Trail-So John how are you going to take care of those responsibilities Mark has been telling you that you have when you are in jail for assault.

  241. Marion Delgado
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    Jocasta DeGroot finds it hard to comfort Bwad because she’s secretly glad he’s moving back in and dependent again. And because “TJ” rhymes so nicely with “3-way.”

  242. FOOBed again
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

    @littlestevie (#204): Also there is at least one married couple on the staff, Linda and Bull. I’m not sure if they were married when they were hired or not. Also I seem to remember back in the day (very early 1980s) there were a couple of teachers who married. So it’s not as if there are rules against fraternization in Funkytown. And they couldn’t just fire her without the union getting involved.

    OK, I guess they didn’t really fire her; she quit. But it sounded like the principal was getting ready to at least discipline them, if not fire someone, and I didn’t see him refusing to accept her resignation. WTF??

    Of course part of the reason she would have resigned would be wanting to get away from her embarrassment that she’d kissed Les, who clearly didn’t care for her, after attempting suicide over him years ago.

    Now they have Les taunting her and smirking at her. What a jerk. And he’s supposedly supposed to be a nice guy. This strip is just getting more and more infuriating.

  243. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    *wanders in with a plate of still-warm Tollhouse cookies.*

    who wants one?

  244. demoncat
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

    mt if i am going down for a crime let it be a real one. dm surprise Alice is just starting needed the help of pills to deal with Denis when she should have been on them a long time ago like when Denis started being the menace

  245. commodorejohn
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:09 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#235): That may be so, but it’s quite obvious what the real reason is: it’s so Batiuk can visibly depict the aftereffects of a tragic accident by including, in very nearly every single panel Becky has ever appeared in, framed as the center of the shot, the pinned-up sleeve where her Missing Arm is not.

  246. Aviatrix
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#238): “Pathetic-Adjacent” — I like that. It sounds like something out of the DSM IV.

  247. Sans Sense
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#243): I’ll take one! (He says while steathily palming two)

  248. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    @FOOBed again (#242): Susan has quit her job! She can finally get away from Westview and start her life anew! Yes! It’s the chance for a new beginning.

    Unless… she’s a carrier.

  249. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:34 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#237): Did you get a reply (heh)? I’m wondering if the time is right to inundate the WashPost with lengthy and reasonable objections to Donna Lewis’s piece o’ crap. I’ve started my list of reasons they should dump the strip, of course.

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#243): Ooh! Ooh! I have a lovely glass of “post-first day of summer school” Buffalo Trace, which I think would be delightful with one (or two) of your cookies! (I’d be gasping like Luann at the sight of a badly decorated birthday cake: OMIGOSH!)

  250. wossname
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#243): Oh yeah! Tollhouse cookies go great with chardonnay. Thanks queek!

  251. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @Old School Allie Cat (#238) on FW, Arms and the Woman: “She actually does have a prosthetic arm, or at least she did. And God help me for knowing that. My knowledge of story lines in Funky Winkerbean borders on pathetic. It’s Pathetic-Adjacent.”

    I believe once the diagnosis has been confirmed, Pathetic-Adjacency Prodrome sufferers can now apply for a service spider monkey who’s been trained to sense the aura of your brain searching its FW archival grey RAM and abort the impending episode by peeing in your lap.

  252. Poteet
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:50 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#188): Oooh, thank you!!

  253. DaveyK
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:55 pm [Reply]

    After 14,599 days of not putting any effort into their work, Ziggy’s creators come up with a creative way to put even less effort into their work.

  254. Poteet
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    MT — So much has already been said, and so hilariously. I will just add that out here in rural Iowa, we don’t call them “farm animals.” We call them “livestock.” But that’s if they belong to a farm. If they belong to a town but are called “farm animals,” that’s kinda weird.

  255. bourbon babe, unbuckled
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

    I’d like to know what Fashion Police has to say about today’s Jumble! (Are a hat and side-boobage truly “classy”? They do certainly have the young man mesmerized.)

  256. Poteet
    June 27th, 2011 at 8:59 pm [Reply]

    @Illustrator Steve (#62): Oops, I see you noticed the weirdness of the town owning farm animals before I did. I doff my hat. I wonder if the town also owns circus animals, or zoo animals, or laboratory animals. In MT, anything is possible.

  257. Poteet
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    JUMBLE — This wistful observation appeared in the Des Moines Register online anonymous comment section: “I know I’m losing it because the Jumbles are getting harder to solve.” Now I wish I could gently pat this person on the back.

  258. Écureuil Écumant
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#249): “I’m wondering if the time is right to inundate the WashPost with lengthy and reasonable objections to Donna Lewis’s piece o’ crap.”

    I’m tempted to add to their long-running series with a submission, “Five Myths about Reply All”. Another possibility would be to try drowning it in honey; instead of objections, post the kind of fulsome [*] blarney we see weekly in reply to a certain op-ed writer. “Bravo, Dr. (Lewis, Ma’am)! Well said, Ma’am! None but the unwashed could dispute your talented depiction! Huzzah!”

    Paint her (so to speak) as the dork-duchess of that constituency and it might hasten her exit.

  259. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:11 pm [Reply]

    @bourbon babe, unbuckled (#255): *hums the chorus of “You Can Leave Your Hat On”*

  260. Poteet
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    ZIGGY — I’ve just adopted a stray kitten, and he has the endearing (at least for now) habit of trying to eat my nose. But seeing Ziggy and that cake gives me some serious second thoughts.

  261. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

    Poteet haz a lolkitteh! *kewtness*

  262. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#260):

    I’ve just adopted a stray kitten, and he has the endearing (at least for now) habit of trying to eat my nose.

    Lord Voldemort used to own a kitten like that!

  263. Poteet
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    GT — Dang, I wish I could figure out how to get actual sparks of fury to fly out of MY eyes. Especially when I’m looking at someone who just tossed litter out of his pickup.

  264. Josh
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

    @Katy (#87): OBVIOUSLY that panel is on this blog. OBVIOUSLY! Glad to hear you’re decorating the cube with it.


  265. Maggie the Cat
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#206): Not too mention up to date on vaccinations, which is more than I can say for a black bear or mountain goat. Who knows what they carry?

  266. Bill Thompson
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#235): Everything in FW is arbitrary; Batiuk has it set up so that Becky does without a prosthetic, and almost always has her empty sleeve on center stage when she appears. The empty sleeve pretty much defines the character, and as commodorejohn said, the missing arm is there for the tragedy.

  267. Maggie the Cat
    June 27th, 2011 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    As I scan the day’s comments I keep seeing the word “JUMBLE” repeatedly, and one thing came to mind. That would be a funny word to have printed across the chest of a large breasted jogging woman’s baby-tee shirt.

  268. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:06 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#267): Are you as drunk as I am?

  269. Mr K Martin
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    ZIGGY: Suddenly Charleton Heston bursts into the room and screams “Ziggy’s cake is PEOPLE!!!!!!!”

  270. Maggie the Cat
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:11 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#268): LOL, 100% sober.

  271. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    @Bill Thompson (#266):

    The empty sleeve pretty much defines the character, and as commodorejohn said, the missing arm is there for the tragedy.

    Okay, I’ll concede the point. Becky’s empty sleeve defines her character — much the same way Freddy Freeman’s crutch defines his character:

    (Although I never could understand why Freddy Freeman didn’t choose to remain in his Captain Marvel, Jr. form since FF was a cripple!)

  272. Ringo Beaumont III
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    Let’s see if the old “New Yorker” standby caption works in Ziggy’s situation:

    “Christ, what an asshole.”

    Yep, that works.

  273. AT
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    SM: “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE OBVIOUS ELECTRICITY CRACKLING OFF MY BODY – I AM DEFINITELY NOT ELECTRO. Sigh. Fine. I’m Electro. But keep calling me Big Boss because the hat and coat will CERTAINLY fool Spider-man. No, seriously guys, he’s THAT dumb. Now, if you’ll make those million dollar checks out to “Electro” – capital E, lectro…”

  274. SideshowJon
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    John Thrasher, a good guy? A good guy?!?!?! He has FACIAL HAIR people! How can you trust him over the clean-shaven, now-soprano Sheriff? He’s obviously the thief, impeccable manners aside!

    As for Gil Thorpe, I love the idea that he’s revealing the sordid details of his political opponents’ failed marriages, over an issue so insignificant as women’s softball funding. Did he hire Karl Rove as his political consultant?

  275. Amanda Kate
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    “Ziggy celebrates his birthday with all his friends. Every single one. The animals are his only friends, is what I’m going for here.”

  276. Mr K Martin
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    Prediction for tomorrow’s POPEYE: If Olive Oyl actually “licks” the oid in the first panel, they’ll have to power wash the rest of the comics page.

  277. Sarah Marie
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    Please don’t tell me Dick Tracy named his daughter Honeymoon. EWWW.

  278. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    @Sarah Marie (#277): Honeymoon is the daughter of Junior Tracy (a/k/a Dick Tracy, Jr.)!

  279. Sequitur
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    @Maggie the Cat (#270): Well that’s 50% no, 60% 70% better than me.

    By the way, the JUMBLE is not a T-shirt. It’s a fortune cookie.

  280. tallyHO
    June 27th, 2011 at 10:57 pm [Reply]
    Just another sample of what Popeye’s been up to lately, from a few weeks back.

  281. Black Drazon
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:05 pm [Reply]

    Heh, posted this on the wrong blog post!

    Just so I’m clear, Dick Tracy’s half-alien granddaughter is being reintroduced to handle a plot about pirated movies, right? And it still seems more realistic than the Gil Thorp “schools only don’t get money if they’re being run by jerks” plotline? I think we just figured out what happened to the old Gil Thorp mutant hand gag, folks. The hand is now writing the strip.

    “You can’t humiliate someone who is incapable of experiencing shame!” And now, Ziggy!

  282. Uncle Lumpy
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    @Black Drazon (#281):

    Heh, posted this on the wrong blog post!

    Yes, and the folks over at National Review are more than a little puzzled by it!

  283. Sgt. Stoned
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    @S. Stout (#10): MT: And that is Elrod’s happy ending. Thrasher goes to prison where his “family and friends” can visit him as much as they please!

  284. Uncle Lumpy
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    I pray this Mark Trail story ends in a Battle of the Dads between Doctor Thrasher and Sheriff Wilson as Mark and the Mysons gawk.

  285. Joshua
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:24 pm [Reply]

    @Sarah Marie (#277): Keep in mind, Honey Moon Tracy’s mother was literally a space alien from the moon.

  286. seismic-2
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:34 pm [Reply]

    @Joshua (#285): Yes, she was an alien, but she was a legal alien, so it’s OK. Otherwise, Tracy would have had to shoot her.

  287. Jamus The Bartender
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    @Jasper Jinx (#23): Momma said NO!!

  288. Kinghasnoclothes
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy: “OMG! I can sit on my own face!”

  289. bweeeappafrazzzawappazzazzzapakatawakatawaaaahhzzz
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy Caption “For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jol–… ehh, fuck you, Ziggy”

  290. Lorna
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    Ziggy OMG I’m all over this caption contest…

    Parrot: “Hey Ziggy, what are you gunna wish for?”
    Ziggy: “Pants.”

    With half-assed photoshop goodness:

    I also entered a second caption under my cat’s name…

    Parrot: “Pants! Wish for pants!”

  291. Baka Gaijin
    June 27th, 2011 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

  292. Clint
    June 28th, 2011 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    @Lorna (#290):

    Those are actually pretty good. All I could think of was “F*** PANTS!!!”

  293. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    June 28th, 2011 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    From Dean’s Comic Booth, a mini-cavalcade of Muffaroo captions for the Ziggy cartoon, so far:

    • “Should I sit on it after I blow out the candle? Or before?”
    • “Wow! The things you can do with cat food!”
    • “When I said I wanted a J, I didn’t mean a backwards one made out of raisins”
    • “Who wants to eat some?”
    “NOT ME!”
    • “Hey, you guys remembered! It’s that hockey mask I used when I killed all those sinful teenagers!”
    • “JESUS’ TITS! Is THAT what I look like?”
    • “It’s solid frosting, so it’s darn near as nauseating as me.”
    • “You guys crapped this out? That’s seems so appropriate, somehow.”
    • “Dear God, take me now.”
    • “Sigh. I’m the loneliest taxidermist in the world.”

  294. bats :[
    June 28th, 2011 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    @Lorna (#290): nice bit of Photoshopping there. (And what if your cat wins? HAH! Like any of us Snarkateers — even feline — has a chance!)

  295. Aviatrix
    June 28th, 2011 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#294): Au contraire, I think we have a lock on it. I’ll be astonished if one of us doesn’t win. If anyone can think of a good caption, or a Ziggy-worthy lame one, it’s a Mudgeon.

  296. commodorejohn
    June 28th, 2011 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    @[Old Man] Muffaroo (#293): I did “HELP I’M A ROCK! HELP I’M A ROCK! HELP I’M A ROCK!”

    Granted, it doesn’t make any sense, but then, neither does Ziggy.

  297. Bill Thompson
    June 28th, 2011 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail: Too bad there isn’t a Bold Squeaky font for times like these. Meanwhile, it’s obvious that Myson John didn’t grab the sheriff’s rifle. The sheriff could pick it up and shoot him. He could charge Myson John with stealing the backpacks he and Trail wore at the start of this strip. Myson John isn’t carrying them, which just proves that he’s very clever at hiding stolen goods.

    I’d love to see this incident in court. Sheriff Dad could explain to the judge that Myson John resisted arrest after being alibied for one crime. He could also explain why he accused Myson John of stealing the town’s farm animals, when he lacked witnessses or evidence. What Sheriff Dad should do now is go home, grumble about the missing animals, then go to the outdoor barbecue that the Cleancut Kids are staging this Saturday. Ribs or roast chicken, Sheriff Dad?

    Phantom: Too bad Poindexter didn’t suture his mouth during surgery.

    The Amusing Spiderman: If it turns out that the Big Boss is a woman, we’ll need an explanation as to why none of these racketeers noticed. Somehow, I don’t think these crime lords are sophisticated enough to take orders from a crime lady. But it won’t surprise me if they didn’t notice the Big Boss speaking in a feminine voice until after she reveals her face.

    Louse sure can be noble, once everyone else gives him everything he wants. Now why is Susan smiling, despite the total collapse of her world? “Les, remember that kiss we shared? Did I mention that I’m dying from something that’s transmitted through saliva?”

  298. Lorna
    June 28th, 2011 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    @bats :[ (#294): Thanks :) If she wins, I’ll be a good sport about it. She is way cleverer than me.

  299. Poteet
    June 28th, 2011 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#261): Yes, thank you! He’s insanely cute, especially when he’s charging along holding a crumpled-up-paper ball in his mouth.

  300. Poteet
    June 28th, 2011 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#262): HAR! And probably Lord Voldemort’s kitten was adorable. I can understand how it happened.

  301. Poteet
    June 28th, 2011 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    GA — Is it just me, or is this storyline about a little kid who may have gotten crushed in a car-crusher just a teensy bit tasteless? Even though the kid was ugly enough to cause severe hiccups?

  302. Poteet
    June 28th, 2011 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    6/28 MW — So far, Liza’s true passions seem to be goofing off, lunatic obsession, texting in the most horrid txtspk, and stalking. If she can take photos, maybe she has a future in the paparazzi.

  303. seismic-2
    June 28th, 2011 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    Bite me, Ziggy!

    If I were to enter the contest, though, it would be something like “Here we see the sacred Communion ritual by which Tom Wilson II took over the Ziggy strip from Tom Wilson, and by which Tom Wilson III will take it over next. Grok him, Water Brothers.”

  304. Poteet
    June 28th, 2011 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#303): Bwahaha! Thanks, I needed that. G’night.

  305. Sihaya
    June 28th, 2011 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    MT – I kicked the Sheriff, but I didn’t nut the deputy. I kicked the Sheriff, but I swear it was in self defense.

  306. Bill Thompson
    June 28th, 2011 at 2:01 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#301): Please don’t tempt me to look at Gasoline Alley. Whatever’s going on with the kid probably isn’t as tasteless as the out-of-control schoolbus arc. Oh, and didn’t that meadow muffin end with a cell-phone picture of an inappropriate kiss that led to tragicomic misunderstandings? It’s clear that the Nexus-6 which calls itself Scancarelli forwarded that plot device to its fellow android Roy Batyuk.

  307. Comcis Fan
    June 28th, 2011 at 2:05 am [Reply]

    MW: I’m pretty sure Liza’s passion involves taking sobriety tests, or perhaps an acting gig working with medical students, wherein she plays a patient undergoing a neurological exam. I have no other explanation for her pointer finger resting on her nose throughout the conversation.

  308. Victor Von
    June 28th, 2011 at 2:17 am [Reply]

    What comic couldn’t be improved by a character who’s a cross between Chuck Norris and Davie Crockett? I’m looking forward to the spin-off series, “Thrasher: Mountain Ranger.”

  309. Carter
    June 28th, 2011 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    “With this Drano-frosted cake, our suffering can finally come to an end.”

  310. ElkMeadow
    June 28th, 2011 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    Crossover Alert!!!!

    Barney Google is at Dick Tracy!

  311. Swordsmith
    June 28th, 2011 at 3:14 am [Reply]

    Why are the Forths having their BBQ 7 days early? On a Tuesday? This isn’t something like Osama Been Killed where the artist needs some lead time, it’s pretty easy to predict what day the 4th falls on. Hint, the day is named after the date, and its the same as YOUR NAME!

  312. Carl the Coffee Cup
    June 28th, 2011 at 3:31 am [Reply]

    Someday I’m going to start a band called “You’ve Made This Personal, Mr. Hobart”.

  313. Mr. O'Malley
    June 28th, 2011 at 4:13 am [Reply]

    JP: This is the second time, and it’s getting annoying. One does not “log in” to a webcam.

  314. Bill Thompson
    June 28th, 2011 at 5:24 am [Reply]

    Ziggy: “Oh, boy! I always wanted to get shit-faced on my birthday!”

    A3G: It’s quite a turnaround for LuAnn: she gets a boy. She gets a birthday cake. She even gets a joke, although for a moment she thought the mother just might be cruel enough to bake chocolate groundhogs into a cake.

  315. Liam
    June 28th, 2011 at 5:40 am [Reply]

    Ziggy-The Ziggy Last Supper. This is my body. Eat it in remembrance of me. One of you has already betrayed me and another will betray me three times before the cock crows.

  316. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 28th, 2011 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    @cheap jerseys (#315):

    you have posted such a effectful article that it will certainly help me.

    Your own “article” is dreadful. Die, spam, die!

  317. gleeb
    June 28th, 2011 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    Dick: Oh, yeah. Sam has contacts all over town, because he’s in touch with the street. You can tell it just by looking at him, what with the homburg and the bowtie.

    ‘bean: “But if you leave, who will I have to stoke my ego and tell me I’m great? Besides myself.”

    Bunny Hoest’s No Exit: Sorry, Leroy, but that’s Creepy Les. The complaints only flow the other way with him.

    Sequitur: Gee, you think people tend to whip out their phones and ignore Wiley when he walks into a room?

  318. Mordock999
    June 28th, 2011 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    Today’s LUANN – 06/28/11

    You know, I got a BETTER idea, TJ. Why don’t we PUSH Your skinny ass OFF a cliff, then GLEEFULLY collect the insurance money?


  319. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    June 28th, 2011 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    CdS: Andre can speak Dil.

    IP: d’awwwwwwwww! gentle win.

    NAoQV: guest-starring win.

    R&R: in other strips (DtM) Mom would be hitting the vodka and Valium once the kid is outside and out of view.

    Frazz: wow, that’s harsher than usual. Of course, Coach Hacker probably deserves it.

    9CL: words fail me.

    Bizarro: you know what would have made this strip perfect? A Twinkie in the background somewhere.

    F-: oooooKAY! *backs away slowly*

    Pluggers: this has GOT to be a ‘mudge, sliding one in. *snicker*

  320. Old School Allie Cat
    June 28th, 2011 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    @Bill Thompson (#314): Say what you will, but that last panel was so awkwardly written, I thought Mom was making chocolate cakes with just a pinch of groundhog. And I’m more on the Margo end of the intelligence spectrum.

  321. Écureuil Écumant
    June 28th, 2011 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#317): Hey now, be nice. Some of us might actually be in the market for bottom-dollar bovines. Milk ain’t so cheap anymore.

  322. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    June 28th, 2011 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    JP – THRILL!!! As Katherine acknowledges that she is on speaker phone!
    MARVEL!! While Sophie emails a link to a webcam!!!
    GOGGLE!!! As Katherine ‘logs in’ using the link!!

    And now, our mystic powers peer into the very future of time itself….

    Wed JP – Stand by in amazement! As Katherine downloads the webcam software!
    Thu JP – Learn!! While she scans the download for viruses!!
    Fri JP – Casually glance at the artwork!!! While she reboots Windows.
    Sat JP – Realize you’ve forgotten why they are doing all this in the first place!!
    Sun JP – Recap!!! As you remember that you didn’t care about the “main” story on the rooftop, much less the week spent with other observers discussing the details of how they are following the main story…

  323. Illustrator Steve
    June 28th, 2011 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    @Poteet (#256): Yes, it sounds very suspicious. A farming town with a city skyline situated high in the mountains that owns farm animals. This place sounds like some sort of secret government research facility. We’ve all heard of area 51, Jackelrod calls this place “city barnyard 61″.
    No wonder Mysonjohn has tryed to escape to the higher elevations. He’s trying to get away from all the crazy experiments going on in town.
    No wonder Sheriff Soprano is trying to capture Mysonjohn under false accusations, this guy simply knows too much!
    No wonder Mark Trail is oblivious (like always) to what’s really going down around that place, being the dimwit he is and all.
    No wonder the lame plot of Jackelrod’s latest joke-of-a-story is going nowhere.
    No wonder all those gigantic animals and birds are all over the place!
    No wonder Rusty is a mutant, and HE’S not even around!

  324. Illustrator Steve
    June 28th, 2011 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MT: Just to add one more comment (or question) regarding Mysonjohn’s assault on Sheriff Soprano’s family jewels, WHERE the hell was Andy when Mark and the sheriff could have actually finally used that lazy old mutt for something other than sniffing the ground?

  325. jayjaybear
    June 28th, 2011 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    @Rocky Stoneaxe (#317): SPAMMER uses Sneaky Context. IT’S SUPER-EFFECTFUL!

  326. Rocky Stoneaxe
    June 28th, 2011 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    @sdfwe (#327):

    hey, you have posted such a effectful article that it will certainly help me.

  327. Thomas B.
    June 28th, 2011 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

  328. Elmo
    June 29th, 2011 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    That’s not John Thrasher! That’s Chuck Norris!

  329. M.
    June 29th, 2011 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    Every year, Ziggy clones and then euthanizes himself, and his clone eats his face on a cake to absorb the memories. It’s a beautiful and terrifying process.

  330. Drake
    June 30th, 2011 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    From the head shape of the new Spider-Man villain, I bet that he’s Mysterio from the comics. At least they’re not wasting a good villain.

  331. Cormac828
    July 2nd, 2011 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Momma: It’s possible that Momma just doesn’t know what Thomas is talking about when he says he hasn’t got a computer. Women her age are hopelessly out of touch in comics. And this being the world of American newspaper strips, there is no exception.

    Ziggy: They might have totally run out of ideas but asking the public to provide captions is just asking for trouble, especially with the likes of Josh Fruhlinger at large.

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    January 17th, 2014 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

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