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Hail Dolly, full of spite

Family Circus, 4/28/07

I wasn’t aware that there was some Papally proscribed prayer posture, with more knees denoting more Christian sincerity. I’m also not sure how Dolly can tell Jeffy’s only doing half an Ave Maria if he’s still in the midst of it — is he only doing every other word or something? If he is treating his faith a little lightly, maybe it’s because he just found out that the Vatican has done away with Limbo and that little children can now make it into heaven without being baptized, so why’s he jumping through a bunch of hoops like a sucker?

By the way, Dolly, not even Jesus likes a tattletale.

Apartment 3-G, 4/28/07

For “this city,” read “cocaine.” And for “somewhere,” read “towards my connection.” There are good reasons why Alan moved away from New York, and not just so he could wear a baby blue V-neck sweater over a black mock turtleneck without being snickered at.

Mark Trail, 4/28/07

Wait, are these the county commissioners who were involved somehow in last year’s epically boring road demolition/eminent domain/casino scam snoozefest? I’m sort of curious, but not so curious that I’m going to wade through my archives and relive the dullness to find out. Mainly what I want to say is that, if your county is too cheap to spring for separate offices for each of its commissioners, it probably can’t afford even a single airport, let alone two.

Pluggers, 4/28/07

I’m beginning to figure out one of Pluggers‘ more devious strategies. Since this feature drives any right-thinking person into an insane, hateful rage, it needs to keep broadening the definition of “plugger” so that just about anybody can be seen as one, thus shaming readers into believing that they too are pluggers and staving off anti-plugger pogroms. Today, for instance, we learn that virtually all men and probably a significant number of women are pluggers. God have mercy on our simple, down-home souls.

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 28, 2007 at 04:18 pm and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Family Circus, Mark Trail, Pluggers.

241 responses to “Hail Dolly, full of spite”

SatanicMechanic
April 28th, 2007 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

So whats that plugger got? bird flu?
The Porridge Bird
April 28th, 2007 at 4:23 pm [Reply]

MT: That is a HUGE skunk! And it’s in vitriol-strike mode! HIT THE DIRT!
mumbles
April 28th, 2007 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

FOOB: This strip looks from afar like a Massengill ad.

FW: This strip looks like it was guest-drawn by Edward Hopper. It’s what the folks from the all-night diner are watching from the window.
Moon Mullins
April 28th, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Aren’t they called “medicine cabinets?” So if you put the appropriate items in there, you are a plugger?

“If you put more gasoline in your car tank than ketchup, you’re a plugger.”

I think Josh is right. This is some sneaky way to make everyone a plugger. Soon we’ll have to buy Plugger t-shirts or else.
Phil
April 28th, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

You’re a plugger if you keep your condiments in your sock drawer.

You’re a plugger if you like stuffed-crust pizza-on-a-bagel.

You’re a plugger if you’re not of woman born.

You’re a plugger if your drawing room has more windows than your smoking parour.

You’re a plugger if you can’t remember where you put your daughter.

I don’t know. I don’t care.

Also, to find out your “Plugger Name,” combine he name of your first pet, it’s species name, and your epitaph.
Stocc
April 28th, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

You’re a plugger if you’re Cinderella.
SecretMargo
April 28th, 2007 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

A3G: Is the point of this storyline just to prove that LuAnn inspires such extreme apathy in her “friends” that only supernatural intervention can explain why any of them would bother to investigate days and days of unexplained absence? The fact that I care more about where Magee stopped off at for late night tacos on her way home from abandoning her friend, or even whatever ritual of loneliness Tommie is currently performing in her cozy bathrobe of spinterhood, sort of answers that question, doesn’t it?
Some Guy Here
April 28th, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

Nevermind the airport, how about affording something to fend off the giant enemy skunk about to attack that city’s weak point for massive damage?
Sheilagh
April 28th, 2007 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

I don’t need “beauty products.” I am stunningly winsome and beauteous au naturelle.

Well, at least compared to an obese chicken in a housedress.

Plugger? Moi? Bah.
Sheilagh
April 28th, 2007 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

Uh oh, now I have an awful feeling that expression is au naturel>. Who’s got a French dictionary?
John C Fremont
April 28th, 2007 at 4:37 pm [Reply]

Is it just me, or has Diver Dan’s weight really been fluctuating from frame to frame since this new storyline started the other day? Maybe he has that Crankshaft-patented terminal flatulence thing. He should take out another life insurance policy is all I’m saying.

Oh, and I guess that by definition, now I’m a Plugger. A plugger waiting for death’s sweet release, ’cause I sure as hell don’t want to be live as a Plugger. I don’t even want to “do it every time!” That is, unless the “do it” means sex, in which case, where do I sign up?
John C Fremont
April 28th, 2007 at 4:39 pm [Reply]

Strike that “be” from the second sentence.

That’s better.
Harry Paratestes
April 28th, 2007 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

MT: Oh no, there goes Tokyo, oh no Skunkzilla!
Junior Tracy
April 28th, 2007 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

The Plugger chicken-woman has a toothbrush? And dental floss? These are troubling signs indeed.
MyEvilTwin
April 28th, 2007 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

I wonder why the Pluggers chicken has a toothbrush. Chicken don’t have teeth. Then again, if that’s the thing that worries me about this panel, would that make me a Plugger?

I need to go rock quietly in a corner now.
Harry Paratestes
April 28th, 2007 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

#14 Junior Tracy
If a chicken has teeth then that would imply that there exists at least one honest lawyer.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
April 28th, 2007 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

“au naturel” because “au” goes before masculine nouns, being a contraction of “a le”.
Harry Paratestes
April 28th, 2007 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

#4 Moon Mullins
If you have more ketchup in your car than gas, then you must be a retired plugger in Florida.
MonkeyHawk
April 28th, 2007 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

It’s been a while since I’ve browsed the cosmetics counter, but I’m not sure I recall many beauty products marketed to 6-foot-tall obese chicken ladies.
Sheilagh
April 28th, 2007 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

I knew it!

Oh, well.

Are you a plugger if you get your French genders wrong?
Harry Paratestes
April 28th, 2007 at 4:47 pm [Reply]

#17
Nouns got sex! I feel a Johnny Hart joke in the offing.
TurtleBoy
April 28th, 2007 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

Isn’t half of the Hail Mary somewhat appropriate, considering Jeffy’s only got half as many fingers, and half as many nostrils, as a normal human being? Fewer parts to bless, is all I’m sayin’.

By the way, this is the first indication I’ve ever gotten that the Keane Team is Catholic…I’d always kinda assumed they were of a bland, amorphous American Christian ilk that would look on Catholicism as evil Mariolatry and blasphemous papistry.
John C Fremont
April 28th, 2007 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Ketchup? I’ve got Grey Poupon in my car. Hey, I’m no Plugger after all! I’m, like, all classy and stuff.
Harry Paratestes
April 28th, 2007 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

Sheilagh
I think you’re a plugger if your english genders are reduced to the unisexual “y’all”, much less genders in a foreign language
Trilobite
April 28th, 2007 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

I think Jeffy is actually proposing to Mary, not praying. The poor little simp probably thinks that if he gets hitched, he can move out of that tract home of the damned and finally escape from his abusive siblings.

Get used to it, Jeffers: you’re never going to grow up. You will always be their whipping boy. And even if by some miracle you did ever reach adulthood, you’d be a broken-down shell of a man and spend 98% of your waking life curled up at the bottom of a bottle of gin.

Just like your dad.
True Fable
April 28th, 2007 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

Jesus hates snitches, Dolly.

I see a few people kneeling on one knee at Mass. There is so much stand-sit-kneel action to be done repeatedly, it helps to not wear out both knees at the same time. God doesn’t care if you use one or two. There are people in wheelchairs too. Guess they’re going to hell for sure, huh Dolly?

Way to go, Keanes! It’s hard enough being a mackrel-snapper in Roopville. Now I’ve got to try to explain to my curious/ suspicious Prot neighbors that the Family Circus is not used as catechism. It does make a handy bird-cage liner, though.
Harry Paratestes
April 28th, 2007 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

Mariolatry – that’s an interesting term that I had never heard, I had to go and check it out.
SecretMargo
April 28th, 2007 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

5> Phil, you should submit this one:

Youâ€™re a plugger if you canâ€™t remember where you put your daughter.

And specify that it should be illustrated with a Plugger driving a car with a baby carrier on the roof. Alternate caption: “Plugger Planned Parenthood”

Sheilagh: my dictionary says it can be either, depending on the gender of what is being modified. I think I’ve seen it all macho’n’shit when used in English sentences, probably because it is used with “au,” the man-style form of the preposition “a.”

(as my previous French usage on this site proves, I am no authority on anything French-related. I am trying to improve for professional reasons though! So I have a dictionary at hand at all times.)
Woodrowfan
April 28th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

Almost every plugger I’ve seen (that isn’t jogging with a puppy) is not just fat but morbidly obese. Is “plugger” code for “plumper”???
Trilobite
April 28th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

In post #20, Sheilagh asks “Are you a plugger if you get your French genders wrong?”

The simple answer is “no.” You may, however, be a Parisian mugger/rapist. More information is necessary to properly diagnose your condition: Are you wearing a leather jacket? Is your head shaved or do you have a mohawk? Check your floor: is it cold? Do you have, or suspect you may develop, an unnatural fear of Canadians? Of Clark Kent?
SecretMargo
April 28th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

17: Oh man! So late with the French thing. Oh well, that’s what I get for writing long comments. And not actually knowing French, but deciding to “front” anyway.
True Fable
April 28th, 2007 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

Oh, but tonight is Saturday! I’ve got to hurry up and get to boozin’ and carousin’ so I will be able to say a heartfelt Act of Contrition tomorrow morning. Yep, it’s not an easy life but I understand those are sort of the rules. Or should be.
SatanicMechanic
April 28th, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

#24

Noooo! Pluggers don’t say “Y’all”! Normal people say “Y’all”! Pluggers say “Y’ens”!
Galactic Emperor ChennuxÂ®â„¢Â©
April 28th, 2007 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

AHEM!

CHENNUX RE-POSTS FROM THE LAST THREAD AS EVERYONE WAS WAXING ELOQUENTLY ABOUT NICKEL CANDY BARS! CHENNUX LIKES NICKEL CANDY AS WELL, BUT PREFERS A NICKEL/CADMIUM ALLOY BAR! WITH SILICA CHUNKS!

ATTENTION EARTHERS! PREPARE TO EXPERIENCE NOSEBLEED FROM SUBSONIC OVERTONES DIRECTED AT YOUR OTAL CAVITIES! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

CHENNUXâ€™S PLANS FOR EARTH CONQUEST HAVE TAKEN A NEW, EVIL TURN! HAVE EARTHERS NOTICED BANDWIDTH LIMITATION MESSAGES ON THE JOSHREADS SITE? CHENNUX IS SLOWLY CHOKING THE CAPACITY OF THE ONE CALLED JOSHâ€™S SERVER! SOON, YOU WILL BE STRAINING TO SNARK MARY WORTH! OR HAVE TO WAIT HOURS TO MAKE YOUR PUNY FEELINGS KNOWN ABOUT FOOBIANS! HAHA!

TO PREVENT FURTHER ATTACKS ON THE JOSHREADS SERVER, CHENNUX DEMANDS TRIBUTE! YOU WILL PROVIDE POTATOES! LOTS OF THEM! CONVERT YOUR POTATOES TO CONTRIBUTIONS IN THE ONE CALLED JOSHâ€™S TIP JAR! HE WILL THEN BE GIVEN SUBSPACE ACCESS TO THE POTATO EXCHANGE MARKET ON TUBERLOX 5 TO PURCHASE TRIBUTE!

WEIGH THE CONSEQUENCES WELL, EARTHERS! EITHER CHENNUX GET POTATOES, OR YOU WILL SIT IN FRONT OF DARKENED MONITORS HAVING TO WRITE SONG PARODIES THAT NOBODY WILL EVER SEE! Iâ€™M TALKING TO YOU, GH! AND YOU, WILLETHOMPSON!

IN OTHER GALACTIC NEWS, CHENNUX NOTES THAT THE ONE CALLED MONKEYHAWK STILL THINKS SOMEONE NAMED FLOYD RUNS THE UNIVERSE AND THAT CHENNUX IS FINANCIALLY EMBARRASSED AT THE MOMENT! NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!

(applgrl â€“ hny, tak it EZ with gecs goldcrd â€“ it has 18% apr â€“ ok?)

STILL, CHENNUX ADMIRES HIS SPUNK AND INVITES HIM TO DINNER! BY WHICH I MEAN HE SHOULD BE DINNER! NOTHING LIKE MACERATED SIMIO-AVIAN COATED WITH VELVEETA AND DONE A LA MAGMACANNON! HAHA!

REMEMBER: POTATOES TO JOSH OR MARK TRAIL GETS IT!

END TRANSMISSION!

PS – POTEET AND CALICO ARE EXEMPT AS THEY HAVE ALREADY CONTRIBUTED!
Trilobite
April 28th, 2007 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

Also, even though I knew what “Mariolatry” meant (being a good little former Catholic myself), I still couldn’t help but think for a moment that it meant worshiping Mario.

Which is just crazy. I mean, Luigi’s clearly the shot-caller in that family.
Harry Paratestes
April 28th, 2007 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

Galactic Emperor Chennux
Do you prefer sweet or Idaho?
Kurdt
April 28th, 2007 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

I think the Plugger people were all exposed to some kind of weird mutating ooze ala the Ninja Turtles and must live their lives as various animals. Unfortunately it happened at a retirement community.
Applemask
April 28th, 2007 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

Is that skunk stealing wood?
Tabby Lavalamp
April 28th, 2007 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Of course Jeffy’s only on knee. He’s questioning his faith! How can he not look at the bland evil and simmering rage around him and wonder if there could possibly be a God?
smacky
April 28th, 2007 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: The first thing I thought when I saw today’s comic was, “Look at those chubby chicken fingers.” Then I said “Chicken fingers…” out loud and made myself laugh at the idea of children (pluggers in training) ordering chicken fingers at the local chain eatery.
Rhekarid
April 28th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

Judging by the baffled confusion on chicken-lady’s face, I think the proper caption is “You’re a plugger if your cabinets contain more meds than beauty products, and you don’t recognize any of them.”
Alan Vanneman
April 28th, 2007 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

Since those sideburn twins, Leo and Lawson, are laying their unscrupulous plans in voices so loud they can scare the shit out of a skunk ten miles away, it’s hard to imagine that they’ll be able to keep them, you know, a secret! So it shouldn’t be more than four months before Mark takes them downtown. I can hardly wait!
Alan Vanneman
April 28th, 2007 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

Jeffy’s only on one knee because the Virgin Mary is only half a virgin.
John C Fremont
April 28th, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Mariology. That’s what they practice at Charterstone – what with all the Mary worshipping and the casseroles and the mw-hurgn-whey. Glaven.
Splinky
April 28th, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Honestly, when I first read Josh’s comments about Jeffy, I thought it said that the Vatican had done away with THE Limbo. First Harry Potter and now my favorite activity to do to calypso music. Thank God I misread that. (Although I think that would have made for a much more interesting news bit…)
Reepicheep-chan
April 28th, 2007 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

I think my meds and beauty products might be a 50/50 split.
Uncle Lumpy
April 28th, 2007 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

Christian Comic

Josh and Jeffy is back with more Biblical truth!
Jamus The Bartender
April 28th, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

FC:
See Jeffy Pray.
Jeffy loves The Lord.
But he’s not praying RIGHT…
See Dolly Snitch.
Dolly loves The Lord too.
She just wants Him/Her…and everyone else…to know who loves Him/Her more.
Even if it means selling Jeffy out.
To Satan.
And all his little demons.
And their little pitchforks.
Dolly is learning more and more about what organized religion is all about.
She may grow up to be a Mother Superior.
Which would make her
A superior “mother”
Or she may just be a deacon.
Like Sherman Helmsley was on that “Amen” tv show.
And run off with all the church cash.
And blame Jeffy.
Amen.
Uncle Lumpy
April 28th, 2007 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

Hmm, lemme see – Rogaine, Botox, retinoic acid, Restylane –

Hey, Richard Gere’s a Plugger!
schlimmerkerl
April 28th, 2007 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

Nothing on Catholics, per seâ€” most religions, if you read the actual hand-o’-god texts are barking nutsâ€” but did anyone read the little blue-linky papal-theo-rant missive regarding unbaptized infants? Weird. The idea that babies are consigned to some kind of “hell lite” (see: Dilbert’s whatsisname “Lord of Heck”) is, well, weird. And, oh yeah, repugnant. Sure am glad those theo-jockies got it straightened out. *whew!*
Poteet
April 28th, 2007 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

So now I’m supposed to be a fat chicken who uses a toothbrush but not lipstick? (Boxcar) you, Pluggers.
Citric
April 28th, 2007 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Is it possible for someone with facial hair in Mark Trail to NOT make everything sound sinister? Replacing an old, obsolete building with a new one is pretty sensible, but it reads like they’re going to toss newborn babies into jet engines.
jules
April 28th, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

OH GOD IT’S THAT GIANT CHICKEN AGAIN

I need a beer.
jules
April 28th, 2007 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

#5 Phil: my Plugger Name is Chester Catrip.

That might be even creepier than the giant chicken!
Different Dan
April 28th, 2007 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

50 schlimmerkerl: That would be Phil, Prince of Insufficient Light.
Tats
April 28th, 2007 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

Why does a giant chicken need a toothbrush…?
reader-who-posts
April 28th, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: The big question I have from today’s Pluggers – can chickens open child-proof caps?

JP: The wife probably stopped being jealous of Neddy and decided to help when she saw the beret.

RMMD: If Heather is the majority stockholder then why do they need to delay the other guy? Just to piss him off?

GT: Hey Ken, given that you just about got hit in the groin on a pitch when you were reaching way out to the left, you just might want to take some help from old Clambake. Sure, this exposes you to a whole new risk to the groin but I’m sure it will be worth it.
AhClem
April 28th, 2007 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

willethompson,
Despite attemempts by the post office to margo up the package (judging from the dents and creases in the box), the cup arrived safe and sound here in the northern hinterlands today. It’s a beauty, and with the printing opposite from the handle, it’s somewhat ambidextrous (i.e. readable when held in either hand). Many thanks for taking the effort to produce and distribute these.

Now I have to prepare a 10-minute back story to explain to everyone what it means.
Harold
April 28th, 2007 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

Mark Trail’s current storyline is ripped straight from today’s headlines!

NPR : US Navy Wants Landing Strip in Birds’ Backyard
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9882441
(This ran on All Things Considered yesterday, though I heard it on this morning’s Weekend Edition.)
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 28th, 2007 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

The chicken lady is wondering how high she’ll get if she mixes these two bottles. Looking at her eyes already, I’d say she should quit for the night.
TwoClubs
April 28th, 2007 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

Can you stand it? (NPR–They’ll “Do” it Every Time, Oohh, yeaah-h”)

The other day I’m driving home and the story on NPR is this:
Gabe
April 28th, 2007 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

Wille: Did you send the shirt to my Millington or Cordova address? I forget, and I haven’t seen it show up.
Financial Panther
April 28th, 2007 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

22: Bil Keane, the progenitor of the Family Circus brood, was originally from Philadelphia, and went to Northeast Catholic High School, whose school symbol (a stylized NC) sometimes features on Billy’s ‘lil sweatshirts.
Harold
April 28th, 2007 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

Williethompson, my cup also arrived today. It is a thing of beauty and a wonder to behold! Thank you!
TwoClubs
April 28th, 2007 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

Harold–
You beat me to it while I tried to figure out how to insert a hyperlink. Ah well. Foiled again…
AhClem
April 28th, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

MT – We all know where this dreary story line is headed. The only remaining question is whether Mark will clobber both at once with a single Right Hook O’Justice, or punch them separately.

We should find out around October, 2008.
Harold
April 28th, 2007 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

TwoClubs, that’s eerie! I think we both need to yell JINX!!!
willethompson
April 28th, 2007 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

#58 AhClem – You want BACKSTORY? Suppose YOU show up at the Newton, NC post office with 37 boxes with addresses all over North America. And ‘Keith,’ the friendly postal employee, wants to know what’s up with this. And you try to explain M!B!S! to him, although it’s three different stories somehow melded together into a single graphic. And you do, but you get the feeling that all the surveillance cameras are following you as you exit the building.

#59 Harold – Dude, this one has been cooking for YEARS down here. The Navy basically wants to see how well birds fare against F-14s. OK, maybe they don’t, but that’s what it sounds like. Maybe if they just accuse the birds of harboring WMDs, they’ll get their way.
willethompson
April 28th, 2007 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

…okay, the meds have kicked in and I’m back on topic…

MT: What the margoboxcar? Dean Booth! We need an ‘evil councilman vs. Diver Dan’ Slylock Fox comparison, because except for the moustache color, IT’S THE SAME GUY! Jackelrod can’t draw petty evil any other way?
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
April 28th, 2007 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

Since we’re on a new thread now, let me reiterate:

Boxcar! In the comics!
Ukulele Ike
April 28th, 2007 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

JP: Why is the wife jealous of Neddy, rather than Abbey? Butlerman looks to be in his early thirties, quite a bit closer in age to that hot butt-cleavage baring redhead than to her adopted 16 year old daughter.
Dean Booth (Tyler Bid Page)
April 28th, 2007 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

Hail Mary,
Full of Gossip,
Toeby is with thee.
Blessed art thou among residents,
and blessed are the rules
of thy friend, Chinbeard.
Old fart Mary,
Meddler of Charterstone,
find out for us now,
how Von wronged Vera.
Amen.
Dean Booth (Tyler Bid Page)
April 28th, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

#69. wille, you’re right — the new bad guy is a cut and paste Diver Dan.

…I lost a computer today (network card fried), but I’ll get on it as soon as I can.
Harry Paratestes
April 28th, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

#68
wille, you know what would have been really cool? If you had taken some watercolor paint and daubed it around your mouth and nose, as though you had just done a bag of Krylon spray paint, and then gone into the PO and launched into your explanation. That would have rocked Keith’s day.
Harry Paratestes
April 28th, 2007 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

for those who don’t know about Krylon in bags
http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/9554580/detail.html#
Weasel Boy
April 28th, 2007 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

Something about the county commissioners’ plan just stinks. I don’t know why. It just does.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
April 28th, 2007 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

Mariolatry… I see a behaloed Mary Worth T-shirt in the offing. Hail Mary, full of casseroles!
SecretMargo
April 28th, 2007 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

77.: Just one word as a caption: Mariolator
JG
April 28th, 2007 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

I wish Mark Trail would stop talking about land use planning and bird-strike hazards. I actually know some stuff about these (really boring) topics, and everything the strip says is so insane it’s not even wrong. One thing I do agree with though: the more facial hair a person has, the more evil he is.
kanine
April 28th, 2007 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

You’re a plugger if you, after inhaling a sufficient amount of oxygen, exhale carbon dioxide. Accompanied by a picture of chicken plugger being slaughtered by Al Gore.
FREE HOWARD NOW
April 28th, 2007 at 8:03 pm [Reply]

Mariolatry– you mean the evil Professor Mariolatry, Sherlock Holmes’ nemesis?
Tex LeBeauf
April 28th, 2007 at 8:05 pm [Reply]

Plugger Pornography is a PBS Lawrence Welk marathon.
Automaton
April 28th, 2007 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

MT: Is it just me, or does it look the skunk is getting smacked in the backside with the board that’s behind it?
Motorposus
April 28th, 2007 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

#70: Wow, a Thomas the Tank Engine gag! Sadly, on the show they’re “Troublesome Trucks”, not boxcars.

#22: I never thought of the Circus family as Catholic either, but that whopping big crucifix that Mommy was holding over Dolly recently (4/6/07) should have been a tip-off.
Pleinedepoisson
April 28th, 2007 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

Okay, so I’m thinking that the obvious thing for Mark Trail’s skunk to do is spray its wonderful skunk spray all over that log and speech bubble. But nothing can be obvious in Mark Trail. Well, it’s all obvious, but it has to pretend that it’s conniving and suspenseful. So I vote that, instead of spraying skunk jizz all over, it should piss. All over that skunk Dan was wearing when Mark found him a week ago. (Or whenever that was… it all blends together so seamlessly that I have a hard time establishing which vague scheme Mark and his animal friends with speech bubble out of their genitals next!)
TurtleBoy
April 28th, 2007 at 8:27 pm [Reply]

#84 Motorposus: oh yeah. I think I’d blotted the crucificial FC from my memory.

What’s next on Dolly’s agenda of holier-than-thouness?

“Mommy, Billy’s makin’ bubbles with the holy water!”

“Daddy, Jeffy did number two in the collection plate!”

“Daddy, Billy said the communion wine doesn’t really transubstantiate into the blood of Christ when you drink it!”
TurtleBoy
April 28th, 2007 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

Vous êtes un Plugger si vous avez appris le français de Babelfish pour Altavista.
Islamorada Girl
April 28th, 2007 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

You’re a Plugger if your wedding appears on an episode of COPS.
evie oh oh
April 28th, 2007 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

Seeing as how LuAnn has been missing for the entire season of winter, i feel that there must be some sort of statute of limitations on how long we can care about a comic strip character. I mean for the readers…I know that for the A3G characters, you cease to be important as soon as you leave their direct line of vision, (unless you are a pawn in one of Margo’s megolomaniacal/sexual fantasies…)
Sabrechick
April 28th, 2007 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

Its funny, I didn’t realize until today how much I appreciate this site. The folks that own the building where we have our fencing club sold it out from under us – leaving us temporily
(I hope) homeless. Today was our final day there and I found myself laughing out loud when I realized I was imitiating Liz Patterson while sorting thru our equipment. Keep, Chuck, Keep Keep, Chuck, Chuck. Losing this building has been very hard on me and being able to laugh during such a difficult day was a relief.

On that note – from the Music Man

Keep a little
Chuck a little
Keep a little
Chuck a little
Keep Keep Keep
Chuck a lot, Keep a little more.
(Repeat throughout)

Please Die Lizzie
Please Die Lizzie
Please Die Lizzie
Please won’t you just croak now.

Pear shaped Lizzie
Pear shaped Lizzie
Pear shaped Lizzie
Please won’t you just die now

(fades out)

Keep a little
Chuck a little
etc.

Baldo – I think I saw this joke once in an old Milton Berle compilation

Second â€“ I work in customer service and my ass would be FIRED for bragging to a customer we got away with overcharging him.

Crock â€“ Is that supposed to be a hooker Grossie is talking to? Or is she a sociology major studying the roles of females in the Foreign Legion?

Dennis the Menace â€“ For some reason Dennisâ€™s tiny tounge freaks me out today.

FC â€“ Is it my imagination or is Jeffy giving Dolly the finger??

FBOW â€“ So tell me April how far did you go with Jeremy? Did you let him touch you here? How about here? What about doing this?

Kudzu â€“ Hee, Hee, Hee, they said Poo.

MT – Skunkzilla attacks Tokyo!!!

Momma â€“ â€œWhen I pass on I want to come back as one of my children â€“ Orphaned at an early ageâ€

TDIET â€“ Shame on you, putting off unpacking your clothes and silverware for a year just to watch re-runs of the â€œDoctor and Hot Nurse showâ€
dramashoes
April 28th, 2007 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

You’re a Plugger if you can do basic math, use simple hand tools, and bleed when you are cut.
Poteet
April 28th, 2007 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

# 79 — JG, I know something about those topics also, and am waiting with interest and moderate dread. And I know so many bearded and/or moustached men that they constitute a sizeable Axis of Facial-Hair Evil. Mark could schedule at least a week of steady punching here.
Heckler123
April 28th, 2007 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

Apparently, today is Michael Patterson’s thirty-first birthday. Let’s all pretend to care.
Poteet
April 28th, 2007 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

You’re a Plugger if you and your relatives settle disputes on JUDGE JUDY.

# 90 — Sabregirl, nice MUSIC MAN parody and sympathies on the loss of your building. .
Poteet
April 28th, 2007 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

# 94 — GAAAAAAH! Heckler, you are not to blame — it’s my own fault for checking out the main page of the Foobsite after reading your comment. Now I feel I must join the celebration.

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday you MargoBoxcarSaturn pompuous moralizing egotistical dimwit nauseating language-mangling so-called (gag, heave, hurl) WRIIII-ter –
Happy Birthday to you!
And please die sooooon…
Steve S
April 28th, 2007 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

Yes, for the most accurate logical structure all the captions should say “If you’re a Plugger…” instead of “You’re a Plugger if…” And trying to teach logic to a Plugger is a no-go and a new low.
King Folderol
April 28th, 2007 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

MT – Say what you will about how stilted and completely unrealistic Mark Trail is, but the hard-hitting strips that capture small town corruption are more poignant and riveting than any 60 Minutes piece I’ve ever seen.

Pluggers – This seems like more of an indictment on non-Pluggers, who apparently don’t believe in modern medicine, and think that a loofa and a quart of moisturizer is a sufficient remedy for high cholesterol or herpes. “Nah, that’s OK doc, I don’t need any Valtrex. I’ve got plenty of facial cream at home.”
alamo
April 28th, 2007 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

sorry #72 just riding your pony here a little bit –
hail dolly full of spite
discord is with thee
curs-ed art thou among children
and cur-sed is this fruit of thel’s womb,
jebus,
golly dolly daughter of thel
prey upon us
now and forever may you burn in hell,
amen.
queek
April 28th, 2007 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

totally off-topic, having been watching sports all day:

is there any Toon with a cuter butt than Erin Eshurance? yowsers!
John C Fremont
April 28th, 2007 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

Okay, so most Mark Trail guys with facial hair are bad guys – but what about Mark’s friend, fellow outdoorsman, and adventurer Johnny Malotte? Okay, so I don’t trust him either, but he’s Mark’s trusted friend. Fellow outdoorsman. Adventurer.

Yeah, I know, Dingo already brought up Johnny Malotte a couple of days ago, but now the subject is facial hair, so this is totally different.
willethompson
April 28th, 2007 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

If Jeffy had facial hair, he’d be the AntiChrist. QED.
John C Fremont
April 28th, 2007 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

Nah, Jeffy with facial hair would just be a dim-witted, watermellon-headed kid with facial hair.

Dolly, on the other hand…
My Good Name
April 28th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

Um…is it just me or does the villianous commisioner in Mark Trail bear a striking resemblance to the recently KO’d best friend Dan? Apparantly Mark misfired and punched him straight into a County Commisioner job
MrP
April 28th, 2007 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

Somewhere, Jack Elrod is having a conversation with his editor about how odd his strips look when they’re put together in compilations. “See here,” the editor says, pointing from giant animal panel to giant animal panel. “When your strips’re put together, it becomes all too obvious that you’re just drawing them for the hell of it. They serve no purpose at all, and they even make the strip confusing at times! Here, it looks like this cow’s the one complaining about tax laws! Can’t you… I know this is hard, Jack, but listen. Can’t you hold off on drawing the animals until they actually serve a purpose in the story?”

Jack Elrod looks up from where he’s pencilling in a gigantic ant-eater exclaiming that it’s not his fault that he loves marzipan, and just stares at the editor for a moment. Then his mouth works for a few seconds, and he finally blurts out:
“I uh, I draw I DRAW THE ANIMALS!”
Without bothering to wipe the spittle away from his lower lip, he returns to drawing. The editor sighs and walks away. He can always give it another shot in another year.
Finny
April 28th, 2007 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

Burn the little heretic. Burn him in those non-flame retardant sleepers. Burn him like a dry pine branch.
Gabe
April 28th, 2007 at 11:10 pm [Reply]

88: I assume you saw the finale of Season 1 of Trailer Park Boys.
Blade Runner
April 28th, 2007 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

# 90 â€“ Sabrechick: My condolences on the loss of your building. I hope that you can find another spot to fence. Somewhere with nice springy wood floors!
Moon Mullins
April 28th, 2007 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

Wow!! Just got back from a splendid day of hiking which included an unexpected skinny dip in a mountain waterfall, and my MargoBoxcarSaturn shirt and mug were waiting for me! The shirt fits like a dream! The mug is very cool! Thanks wille!

My wife (who usually hates all cartoons, animation, etc.) even thought the m-b-s concept was funny!

And just now, the Sunday Foob comes out and has not one but TWO Saturns.

Some days, it just seems like the biorhythms have it going on.
Biiirdmaaan!
April 28th, 2007 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: The question then is, as a man, should I be more shamed by the fact that I’m not categorized as a plugger today than if I would have been if I had?
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
April 28th, 2007 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

Apt 3-G: Alan, if you’d only bother to look down you’d realize that “Feeling of being tugged with a sense of urgency” is the homeless guy trying to earn a few bucks for a bottle of Night Train Express. Just zip up and walk away quickly…

Family Circus sideshow:
Goodgirl Dolly!! Just like Galaxians 14:12 says “Do unto others and cast the first stone, and don’t eat pork or badgers” or was it “cast the biggest stone and don’t listen to Black Sabbath on sundays” ? Either way that dirty little heathen Jeffy needs to learn a lesson.

4/27 Dick Tracy -
The Gauntleted fist of justice smites crime in it’s grimy, malformed genitals once more as detective Tracy notches yet another fatality! And yet once again the never used city public defender sulks, shrugs and eventually calls the maytag repairman to schedule a game of raquetball.
Sunny Mel Blatherscythe
April 28th, 2007 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

Like Duh, I need to use the edit function more. I shoulda wrote:

Apt 3-G: Alan, if youâ€™d only bother to look down youâ€™d realize that â€œFeeling of being PULLED with a strange sense of urgencyâ€ is a homeless guy trying to earn a few bucks for a bottle of Night Train Express. Just zip up and walk away quicklyâ€¦
Flipper
April 28th, 2007 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

Thanks for mugging me, willethompson!
lesles
April 28th, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

MT: i know councillor central casting’s remarkable resemblance to our old friend dan has been duly noted, but i’m hoping this is going to be a new constant in mark trail. i think it would be awsomely surreal if every evil dude (or one of every evil pair) from now on is dan, who mark never recognises. if we had some never ending inspector-gadget-versus-the-claw type battle established. and let’s face it, anyone who can’t be bothered grecian 2000ing beyond their moustache has evil nemesis written all over them.

on a side note, i have trouble calling him “diver dan”, ’cause that was the name of a really good character played by david wenham in sea change (which i know escaped beyond our antipodean shores, but i’m not sure how far).
True Fable
April 29th, 2007 at 12:08 am [Reply]

#108 Moon Mullins – not only that, but it is similar to the one done in 2003 or 2004, when he worked on Grampa Jim.

oh well. It’s hard for me to work up a snark right now, I’m not feeling well. Going to bed, goodnight all.
rich
April 29th, 2007 at 12:17 am [Reply]

108, Moon: Wait, what just happened? John operated on a woman he thought was his wife … but Elly was still waiting outside? Is he insane?! Furthermore, I’m a bit surprised that John doesn’t already know not to trust people with such “undesirable” names as Feggmutz. Isn’t everyone in Foobville aware of the Kelpfroth/Krelbutz Rule?

MW – Von: “Just hear me out, Vera — I have weird, stumpy little arms and an ill-fitting suit! Doesn’t that count for anything?!”

Attention masochists: It won’t be up for long — check out six particularly nauseating portraits on the Mike Patterson birthday greeting, today on http://www.fborfw.com !
Moon Mullins
April 29th, 2007 at 12:24 am [Reply]

113 lesles: anyone who grew up around the Chicago area knew Another Diver Dan
Jon H
April 29th, 2007 at 12:44 am [Reply]

“You’re a plugger if you shred your own incriminating documents.”

“You’re a plugger if you never share your needle and works.”

“You’re a plugger if you always take the john to a decent hotel.”

It’s only a matter of time.
Mike Billips
April 29th, 2007 at 12:45 am [Reply]

I don’t think the new airport is going to be on the agenda for much longer. Once that giant tree that Skunkzilla just kicked lands on the county office skyscraperplex (talk about your boondoggles), they’re going to have a new set of priorities.

Either way, toupee boy’s contractor buddies are going to score like Ted Forth on a second honeymoon.
Blondie
April 29th, 2007 at 12:47 am [Reply]

#61: Ooooh! Looks like Mark got ripped off!
Blondie
April 29th, 2007 at 12:48 am [Reply]

That’s what you get for taking a whole week to describe your plan before you even start it, Mark.
MonkeyHawk
April 29th, 2007 at 12:51 am [Reply]

#115 — Rich:

Okay, it’s late and I had nothing better to do so I clicked the link to the portraits of Michael. Had I not been drinking wine I should have known better.

It’s not the blinking eyes at the official foob-site that bothers me so much as its absolute confidence that everyone on the planet is as enamored with foob-ness as Lynn’s little cottage industry must be. It’s a cult, I tells ya! A CULT! Like the Moonies or Jonestown or Republicans!

Thanks to stern parenting and a life lived without flaw, I resisited the temptation to click on the foob-site’s link to “The Farley Foundation.” I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Huh?” No doubt it’s a tax-exempt cash-cow for Johnston to nominally fund the drowning of elderly dogs in ravines as she skims billions of Canadian dollars ($32.50 American) in “administrative costs.”

(Sound familliar, Chenny?) heh-heh
Jon H
April 29th, 2007 at 12:57 am [Reply]

That’s not a real skunk, it’s a giant fiberglass skunk, sure to be a huge tourist attraction, and the reason they need an airport. Everyone’s going to want to visit the Home Of The Giant Skunk.
Jack Parsons
April 29th, 2007 at 1:12 am [Reply]

Ever since I worked with a French guy who corrected all usages of absorbed French phrases like ‘fait accompli’, I haven’t given a flying french fry about tokkin it gud.
Jack Parsons
April 29th, 2007 at 1:22 am [Reply]

You’re a plugger’s kid if you trade the meds for meth, topping the bottles up with sugar pillz.
Squid Countess
April 29th, 2007 at 1:29 am [Reply]

I haven’t seen anything in the comments about this Safe Havens going all “Meta”. So have a look –
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070428&name=Safe_Havens

Where’s Red Greenback?

WilleThompson – Mug came! I love it!
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
April 29th, 2007 at 1:30 am [Reply]

RMMD: There’s no “old saying” in English “When pigs fly”. I suppose he meant “If pigs had wings”, except that doesn’t fit his meaning.

What language is RMMD written in before it gets translated into English?
Jack Parsons
April 29th, 2007 at 1:35 am [Reply]

102: If Dolly had facial hair, she would be an adopted Italian Catholic. Or Spanish. And a grown midget.

Or, we can learn The Truth: the Family Circle is for keeping the demons inside. Break that circle and they’ll make us all melon-headed and wasp-waisted, those of us who are Left Behind.
Jym
April 29th, 2007 at 1:54 am [Reply]

=18= Pluggers (Harry Paratestes): Retired pluggers don’t live in Florida. They live in <insert state here>, the plugger Florida.

=33= Pluggers (Satanic Mechanic): Hey, not all pluggers live in western Pennsylvania!

=50= Dilbert (schlimmerkerl): Scott Adams wanted to use Satan in his comic, but his syndicate was concerned that the Bible Belt would object. So he created Phil, the Ruler of Heck, which turned out to be funnier anyway.
Mibbitmaker
April 29th, 2007 at 2:03 am [Reply]

You know you’re a plugger if you… you know… plug things.
Moon Mullins
April 29th, 2007 at 2:11 am [Reply]

126 Mr O’M: Having heard the expression “when pigs fly” countless times, I need to ask for clarity on your comment.

I know this is not just a saw from my family either. The old Simpsons episode when Lisa becomes a vegetarian has a barbecued pig that explodes into the sky mostly as a setup for Mr Burns to say he’ll donate to a charity “when pigs fly”, and then of course still saying he won’t when Porky soars past his window.

Perhaps this little-read novel may be of help:

When Pigs Fly — the paperback
Mibbitmaker
April 29th, 2007 at 2:22 am [Reply]

Sunday Funnies (so to speak):

MW: Von (frustrated at Vera’s unending refusal to forgive him): “But… I’ve made a list! It’s all about karma, just ask my brother Randy…”

S-M: So, now MJ has the Spidey Sense Peter lacks? What if it pulls her to LuAnn 3G instead of Spidey…with a strange sense of urgency!

Zits: Weatherman: “Thanks for the downtown traffic jam update, Carl. Today, clear skies were followed up with heavy rain, then harsh winds, then hail the size, shape, and design of soccer balls…”

BBailey: Another Beetle/Sarge romantic interlude.

FOOB: The Leroy-Hateeachotherification of all the men in FOOB continues…
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
April 29th, 2007 at 2:24 am [Reply]

125. Isn’t that a rerun? It seems to me that I saw the same strip a few months ago.
Claire
April 29th, 2007 at 2:33 am [Reply]

#84: Of course! It also explains why, due to the Vatican’s prohibition on all forms of birth control, Ma Keane had no choice but to keep punchin’ ‘em out…it’s all falling into place now.
Mr. Oâ€™Malley
April 29th, 2007 at 2:35 am [Reply]

130. Well, I’ve certainly never heard anyone say “when pigs fly”. It must be a regional expression. Probably from the back concessions. Evidently I got myself into a jackpot here.

I admit I must be several hundred Simpsons episodes behind some people, so I guess I’m a bit of an outporter myself..
MonkeyHawk
April 29th, 2007 at 3:03 am [Reply]

Does anyone know the original source (and, for that matter) the original quote that goes something like this?

“Never try to teach a pig to _________; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.”

I once had a girlfriend who was a teacher and was frustrated with her career. I gave her a t-shirt with the image of a winged pig soaring. I thought she’d get the joke but I had to explain it. (If you have to explain the joke it’s not a joke.) So I’m pretty sure the original quote is not “Never try to teach a pig to fly….”
MonkeyHawk
April 29th, 2007 at 3:12 am [Reply]

As for regionalisms, I’ve been caught in a few.

As with:

“You couldn’t swing a dead cat without hitting a __________.”

I’ve had people respond to me with looks of horror, as if (despite my roommate) I was some sort of cat-torturer.
edgeways
April 29th, 2007 at 3:20 am [Reply]

#134 “When pigs fly” is pretty common, it’s a slightly older expression but by no means restricted to the Simpsons or one particular region.
Trilobite
April 29th, 2007 at 3:37 am [Reply]

#135 – The old expression is “Never try to teach a pig to sing…”, or at least that’s the only version I’ve seen or read. (Southwestern US, upper Midwest, and internet.)
Trilobite
April 29th, 2007 at 3:47 am [Reply]

On the subject of odd regional sayings, a friend of mine once hit us with “Don’t lean up against the river, ’cause the river don’t care and you just get wet.” She’d been in the Deep South for a few years, and apparently ran into this phrase a lot.

Around the same time, another person proffered the advice “Don’t lean on the weird.”

The inevitable result was, of course, “Don’t lean on the weird, because the weird don’t care and you just get wet,” which is one of those hybrid malapropisms that turns out to be more true (and certainly more universally-applicable) than the original sayings.
Jonathan Bogart
April 29th, 2007 at 3:50 am [Reply]

135 MonkeyHawk:

According to three internet denizens, it was a Robert A. Heinlein character who popularized “Nevery try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.” I have a hard time believing it wasn’t around before that, though.
lesles
April 29th, 2007 at 3:51 am [Reply]

#125 squid countess – ha. penultimate silent panel watch is how i found my way here. i’ve no idea, now, how i made it to spsw, but i know it was convoluted.
Lynngineering
April 29th, 2007 at 4:01 am [Reply]

MT: Mark Trail is such a county kiss ass. That box in the first panel, with the “In the Office of County Commissioners etc..” just makes me wonder what gets compositional focus and what not. If you can’t FIT the words into a rectangle because they are so long for no GOOD REASON (”Commissioners Lawson Mills and Leo Smith” -…was THAT worth stretching the box open?) then EDIT the text. As if “Mills and Smith” were names meant to recall anyway. Rectangles frame, unless you PLAN on saying something with that odd shape of an upside-down cross.

So in Mark Trail’s world, he shuttles between either pure, unadulterated wilds, or middle-level county bureaucracy. What a great set of choices to veer back and forth between: either a skunk or other varmint a mile ahead in the foreground (the earthy, sensory-filled future Mark desires) or reciting all the names on the office door of bureaucrats from some godforsaken county – (the numbing, perma-press functionary uniform future Mark is rewarded with)
As a sidenote: The only sensation to be found somewhere in the middle is a taste: “Cherry”, which he doesn’t seem to get much of. Maybe for a while at least, the occasional “wild animal vignette” could be substituted entirely by different “Cherry” vignettes?…. Just Cherry somewhere, in the field, or shopping, or driving, or doing what it is she does while Mark is away…Bring on the animals!
Inna Funk-y
April 29th, 2007 at 4:40 am [Reply]

MW 4/28: Vera looks exactly like Mary. This isn’t Vera’s fault. Mary’s skin is unnaturally unwrinkled. I guess that makes her not a plugger.
MT: The redhead commissioner looks just like Dan got punched out last week. I don’t know why.
Trilobite
April 29th, 2007 at 5:15 am [Reply]

#142 –

Personally, I’d love to see a week of nothing but Cherry doing whatever the hell it is she does. Judging from her appearances in Mark’s storylines, I imagine she spends most of her waking hours in a glassy-eyed trance, periodically being startled by things people say to her or by the shape of her own hand. There may be moments when she attempts to walk through a door rather than attempt the tricky maneuver known as “opening” it (a task which has foiled her so many times before).

Meanwhile, the objects around her speak incessantly, usually providing some degree of exposition or asking questions designed to allow someone else to do so.

In the evening, she cooks black tar heroin in a spoon and injects it into her own forehead, in order to enjoy a more restful sleep.
dreadedcandiru2
April 29th, 2007 at 5:28 am [Reply]

FBorFW: Today, we see a comedy of errors as John works on a particularly difficult patient. No big, though. It’s only Elly, after all. Not like he cares what she thinks or anything, is it? She wouldn’t sue the dick or yell at him. She likes martyrdom so much she’s jonesin’ for it.
willethompson
April 29th, 2007 at 5:34 am [Reply]

Re: the pig phrases – my former father-in-law was a politician and small town mayor in Western NC and knew more phrases like that than even I could forget. The pig/sing/annoy was a favorite, as was “Even a bling pig will stumble over an acorn every once in a while” as a euphamism for luck. “When pigs fly” was used as well, but my Yankee family said that one, too.

My son now says “MargoBoxcar!” when he needs to express bemused upset, although I don’t see it taking off at the junior high level soon.
MisterVader
April 29th, 2007 at 6:06 am [Reply]

Whoa. I stumbled onto a pretty nice comics site here. I hope to see more of your work soon!

Speaking of comics, remember the old SuperFriends cartoons during the ’70’s? Well, imagine if they were turned into the current U.S. Political scene and done in the same way! You end up with The Challenge Of The Super-Duper Friends!

Karl Rove as the Joker is just wrong, wrong, wrong.
willethompson
April 29th, 2007 at 7:19 am [Reply]

OK, doing the morning wrap-up, reading SOME comics so you don’t have to…

RMMD: Is there a gear on a transmission between ‘first’ and ‘neutral?’ If so, Rex has just found it, as time grinds to a halt during the tense ‘where did I park my car?’ scene.

JP: With guest director Sam Raimi, who shows EVERY SINGLE CONCEIVABLE ANGLE of three people in a car interior as Cedric trowels in the wrap-up on how he got to be in the alley.

FOOB: Canada’s National Health plan is not only cheap, it’s a laff riot, if you like the Three Stooges performing dentistry.
Sheilagh
April 29th, 2007 at 7:38 am [Reply]

Where did I see a technical report — possibly in Dilbert? — along the lines of, “All software is tested, all documentation is complete, all databases are verified, all pigs are gassed up and ready for take-off…” Yeah.
commodorejohn
April 29th, 2007 at 7:47 am [Reply]

FOOB – Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Patterson, Dr. Howard…
schlimmerkerl
April 29th, 2007 at 7:48 am [Reply]

55. Different Dan. Thank you. Yes, Phil. Too lazy to look it up.

128. Jym. Interesting, and funnier too.

123. Jack Parsons. You need to look at David Sedaris’ book Me Talk Pretty One Day
calico
April 29th, 2007 at 7:57 am [Reply]

#48 – Excellent, Jamus…Keep ‘em coming, amen.
RMMD – I love Ned’s response when Cedric says Angie thinks he and Ned are having an affair…instead of expressing snow-white pure virginal shock, instead she says “Holy Cow-I just got here!”
You go, girl. Actually, I’d like to see a little romp with Ned, Abbey, Angie, and the Buff Butler – Groves and Rachel not invited, except maybe to watch with the rest of us.
FC – I don’t know what is going on with this thing. Why all the Catholic stuff lately? I was baptized as such, but I sure as Hell don’t act like this little gremlin.
Next lesson and beratement/tattling session, Dolly teaches the family how to genuflect properly.
FOOB – I actually found it funny today, in a Lockhorns/TDIET sort of way.
So this is how John really feels…and this is where and how Mike learned his callous flippancy toward the females of the family!
MT – frog sex-oooooh. Next!
Buck Ripsnort
April 29th, 2007 at 8:01 am [Reply]

Since everyone is all Pig-crazy, maybe someone will give me the etymology of putting lipstick on a pig? That’s been bothering me for a while now.
PurpleMartin
April 29th, 2007 at 8:05 am [Reply]

FC: Maybe Jeffrey is a future evangelical convert who knows praying to Mary is WRONG!

I often have often thought if “Mary” could actually hear all those zillion-dillion Hail Mary’s being offered up to her, she’d be BORED TO TEARS and about to go insane.

And by the way, if he’s hailing Mary, where’s his rosary?
Lynngineering
April 29th, 2007 at 8:10 am [Reply]

FBOFW: In the yesterthread, my “oral exam” of FOOB, with “mouthwash”, “lips”, and I listed the “mouth open” of Elly as one I just didn’t want to think about. Boy, got stuck with it today.

In Mike’s coma dream the return to plot (Michael is King, Michael is King, Michael is King etc…) places Mom and Dad in some sexual fantasy working out the upcoming family/ power relations, and that seems informed more by those awful, old British “Carry-on”-movies style slapstick than the art of the “Three Stooges”

Dr. Dentisthusband is poking around Queen Mother’s open mouth, trying to fix “HER CROWN” but instead he just keeps dropping it, fumbling and bumbling, while meantime all around them his facade of a solid existence is falling apart…

Exactly….
Squawk
April 29th, 2007 at 8:18 am [Reply]

FW: Um, Dolly, Jeffy isn’t praying. He’s conjuring Satan to put a curse on your self-righteous, mealy-mouthed ass.
Buck Ripsnort
April 29th, 2007 at 8:19 am [Reply]

Slylock Fox“How does Slylock know Shady Shrew is lying?” Because he’s Shady Shrew, fer Chrissakes, he’s ALWAYS lying. He’s got SHADY right there in his name! And while the itty-bitty printing didn’t reveal the answer, anybody else notice that the hole looked suspiciously like that sea-horse to the right?
Eli
April 29th, 2007 at 8:30 am [Reply]

Again–Jeff making fun of himself. Poor, poor self-esteem…
Urban Garlic
April 29th, 2007 at 8:52 am [Reply]

#157 Buck Ripsnort — I also liked the way they went from “Shady Shrew is lying about how the boat was damaged” straight to “Shady Shrew sank the boat on purpose for the insurance money.” Of course, it’s only evidence he was lying, not, you know, proof. They’re careful about that.

And while we’re at it, where was Count Weirdly while all this was going down? Maybe he has a boat-hole-reversal ray that he used to frame Shady, and if Slylock and the boys and gone to Weirdly’s castle, they’d have noticed that, although he claimed to have just gotten back from the grocery store, there was a layer of frost on the box of ice cream, indicating it had been in the freezer for quite some time, actually.

Also, #148 willethompson, when I lived in Canada, the government medical system didn’t cover dentistry, except emergency extractions.
Dean Booth (Tyler Bid Page)
April 29th, 2007 at 9:14 am [Reply]

#98. Ride, alamo, ride!

#104. LOL, MrP.

Bizarro: Probably based on the recent Phantom storyline.

I’ve always heard â€œNever try to teach a pig to read FBOFW.” He’ll be annoyed even if he succeeds.

#144. Trilobite: You nailed Cherry, in the the good kinda way.
Meander
April 29th, 2007 at 9:24 am [Reply]

Sunday’s Luann made me look at Luann’s …um…decidedly flat derriere.

I feel so unclean. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
TB Tabby
April 29th, 2007 at 9:50 am [Reply]

Hey, why isn’t the new Tom the Dancing Bug up yet? It should’ve been yesterday!
Dean Booth (Tyler Bid Page)
April 29th, 2007 at 9:51 am [Reply]

#161. I was too distracted by Luann’s head being on backwards.

RMMD: Some Sunday morning silliness: Don’t underestimate Hugh Avery.

Reminder: Only two more days left in the mechanical Tyler action figure auction for CC. The current bid is $20.
anonymous
April 29th, 2007 at 9:52 am [Reply]

#153 – I feel like I’m stating the OBVIOUS, but if you think about it: Putting lipstick on a pig – let’s take it apart – a pig is an ugly (to some) animal. Lipstick is a cosmetic that makes the user look prettier. But a pig remains a pig, and putting lipstick on a pig is an exercise in futility. The pig remains a pig and the lipstick does not enhance its looks. So. The phrase ‘putting lipstick on a pig’ refers to having a bad situation and the only thing you can do is try to do something small to make the bad situation better. It’s like putting a bandaid on a wound that needs a hundred stitches. It’s making the most of a bad situation, even though the most you can do is practically useless. Example: my mother cooked a head of broccoli, walked away, and it burned. Instead of throwing it out, she rinsed it off and served it with a drizzle of hollandaise sauce. The broccoli was still foul tasting even with a sauce, but it looked prettier.
Remus
April 29th, 2007 at 9:58 am [Reply]

I just want to say again, “HAPPY 31st MICHAEL!!!!”

Whew! Awesome. How sweet is it that Dr. John is spewing gratuitous Saturns today by the dozen?
Islamorada Girl
April 29th, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

FOOBsite–And in those creepy birthday portraits of Potboiler Boy, the dentist’s son has no teeth.
Pinback65
April 29th, 2007 at 10:20 am [Reply]

Not much to talk about in today’s funnies (though I appreciated the silent cameo from The Fonz in panel three of Rex Morgan), but I thought I’d mention that, while browsing in Half Price Books the other day, I came across a DVD compilation of Diver Dan episodes! It kind of freaked me out…
Blynneda
April 29th, 2007 at 10:30 am [Reply]

135 Monkeyhawk: I feel like I’ve heard it as “Never try to wrestle a pig; you get all muddy and the pig enjoys it.” But maybe that’s something different.
Sheilagh
April 29th, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

Hahaha! Just coincidence that I used the word “beauteous” YESTERDAY, in my post above — thus proving that I can spell it and Wiley can’t.

Someone else can point it out to him :-)
queek
April 29th, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Sunday Phantom: how cool is it to see ol’ Stripybutt using a sword and flintlocks?

Arlo&Janis was very sweet today. I always liked the Feifer strips, and Doonesbury’s take-offs on them.

PBS: can’t go wrong with lawyer jokes.

Lockhorns: ok, that’s close to a redhead.
BroGonzo
April 29th, 2007 at 10:54 am [Reply]

The Keanes are Catholic? I always thought they were WASPs.

Whatever, if Jeffy says half the Hail Mary, it’s standard practice to expect that rat Dolly to say the other half. At this point, she’s not only screwing up the prayer, she’s also selling her brother down the river for no good reason.

I’m new to this Plugger business. But could it safely be said that Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck” bit can transparently be reworded “You’re a plugger if” without making either incorrect?
SecretMargo
April 29th, 2007 at 10:56 am [Reply]

169: Sheilagh — He’d probably get defensive and argue that he was making some subtle joke about misspelling and the coarsening of discourse on the internet and blah blah blah … when all he really wants to do is ask you out, if only he could find the right words. Or spell them.

And on a different topic: wouldn’t y’all buy a shirt that said “It is spring. I’m available for a little romancing” with an adorable tree frog on it?

(actually, I’m still holding out for “Mariolator.” That would just rule)
calico
April 29th, 2007 at 10:57 am [Reply]

#155 – “The Crown’s Broken” – do you think in addition to the family-musical-chairs metaphor, that A Breaking Crown has anything to do with April’s eventually going roadside?
Just thinking.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 29th, 2007 at 11:05 am [Reply]

A&J:http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/arlonjanis/
Okay Johnson, it’s like this. The whole “tribute to Feiffer” thing is good. But Brooke McEldowney could have sold this a little better. Particularly the last panel.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 29th, 2007 at 11:09 am [Reply]

Foob: So John sucks as a dentist. And Elly is just finding out about this now? Must be more deeply oblivious than previously thought.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
April 29th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

Re today’s FOOB — isn’t it against medical ethics to practice on your spouse? Or does that not apply to dentists?

What do you call someone who flunks out of medical school? A DENTIST! Ha ha ha!
Lynngineering
April 29th, 2007 at 11:22 am [Reply]

FBOFW: Perhaps as with “going postal” there is an equivalent with the word ‘dentist’, as in “Next thing you know, John went dentist, and the family hasn’t bothered to visit him at the resthome since.” Hm…
Phoebe
April 29th, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

This Alan character is screwed up. Take my advice, 3-G girls, and never dates any crazy occult guys. You won’t get a minute of peace.
Dean Booth (Tyler Bid Page)
April 29th, 2007 at 11:36 am [Reply]

400 years / 20 Phantoms = 20-year crime-fighting careers. What do the old Phantoms do during their 30-year retirement? Design pants, perhaps?
lesles
April 29th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

ok, everyone, i’m off bush – well, off up the desert, really – for a couple of weeks. now, i know it’s absolutely no use asking you lot to not do the hilarity while i’m away, but i’m really not going to have time to read through 2000 odd comments when i get back, so could you all maybe just pretend nothing interesting happened when i reappear? ta.

and i’m sorry chennux, but there ain’t a lot in the way of potatos out there, but maybe i could get you a perenti … or, ah, maybe not … don’t know quite how you might feel about that.
Uncle Lumpy
April 29th, 2007 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

#180 lesles -

Have a good trip – don’t let the dingos get ya, baby!
lesles
April 29th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

#181 UL – oh dear, i quite forgot about the dingos.actually i’m quite scrawny and not at all hirsute, so i don’t think they’ll be interested in me.
Oâ€™Fogeyette
April 29th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

Margo! Boxcar! Saturn! Around 1 AM last night we were awakened by water pummeling the roof and windows, only it wasn’t raining. An outdoor raised valve had fallen over, bursting a pipe. So Mr. O’F had to turn off the water to the whole house. About an hour ago he finished installing a cap that needs two more hours to dry, and we haven’t had any water all morning and I feel grubby and disgusting. Luckily, I prepared the coffee maker before going to bed, but it is long since drunk and I need more! (Or maybe I need to be long since drunk.)

Anyway, I found the comics boring and irritating this morning and I don’t feel like snarking.

However, I had an interesting dream. Mostly it involved home invasion and torture and dismemberment, but at the end of it I was wearing a PROUD CURMINION tshirt. I would really buy one of those, if someone wanted to make it.

Many great comments and parodies today. Trilobite 144 would have made me spew coffee if I had any coffee.
Susie Derkins
April 29th, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

Today’s FBoFW–Having had some less-than-stellar experiences with dentists, I am not amused. Sure, things can go wrong and dentists make mistakes, but the temporary FLYING out of his hand? Because he’s got his glove stuck in the drill? Is he auditioning for a revival of the Keystone Kops? Or a variation, the Dunderhead Dentists? (Or would that be Dunderheaded Dentists? Something like that…)

Time to retire, Johnny Boy. Go play with your trains.

Also, I’m not sure how things work in Canada, but typically in my neck of the woods if a patient cancels an appontment at the last minute, he/she still has to pay because it’s such short notice. So canceling a THREE HOUR appointment at the last minute MORE THAN ONCE would really add up for Mrs. Uglyname.
MossMoses
April 29th, 2007 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

GO AWAY, VON! YOU’RE NOT WELCOME IN CHARTERSTONE!

What a loser! Why must Vera spell it out for him? Call security or better yet have Mary Worth explain to him what happened to the last Charterstone stalker.
Poteet
April 29th, 2007 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

Foob — Most of the abuse so far has been heaped on John, who deserves it, of course. But I focused on Ellie. As a cringing, whimpering weenie, partly due to an iffy childhood dentist, I always figured I ranked at the bottom as a dental patient. But I do know the meaning of “gently,” and bite down accordingly. So I feel a little better. Thanks, Ellie, you bunheaded dweeb.
Harry Paratestes
April 29th, 2007 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

MW: It would be really cool if Vera was to whip out a cross and smack Von on the forehead, leaving a smoking, cruciform wound. We could segue into a graphic novel called “Vera the Vampire Slayer of Charterstone”. She could impale Mary, Jeff, Chinbeard and Toeby, and Wilbur, and take Jeff’s kids as her lovers / partners in unspeakable sin.
Islamorada Girl
April 29th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

Bunheaded dweeb! Bunheaded dweeb! Love it, Poteet. I’m sayin’ it like Zippy. Bunheaded dweeb. Lynn is such a tool. Bunheaded dweeb!
fizzy logic
April 29th, 2007 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

For those previous posters expressing wonderment that the Family Circus-ers were Catholic, I thought the crucifix cartoon a few weeks back would have tipped you off that they weren’t a bunch of WASPs. *Grumble, now I have to go find that link* Here.
commodorejohn
April 29th, 2007 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Oh no…what if Sunday’s FOOB, rather than being the typical wacky Sunday hijinks, is actually foreshadowing, and Papa Foob is going to wind up retiring due to increasing inability to perform Acts Of Dentistry, leaving Ellie as the only breadwinner and further cementing her place as the One In Charge? Pop Patterson would retreat into the backyard, forever more to play with his trains under Ellie’s watchful eye…it’s not as horrible to contemplate as things like Mike’s Second Novel and the Loveocalypse, but it’d just be icing on the cake as far as Ellie/Lynn Dominance is concerned…
SecretMargo
April 29th, 2007 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

189: fizzy, It also gives weight to the Opus Doll-ei conspiracy theories that were floating around in this site’s early days.

http://joshreads.com/?p=550

(Can you tell I footnote for a living? It’s a compulsion)
Lynngineering
April 29th, 2007 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

#183 Oâ€™Fogeyette:

Very visceral dream…

Maybe the T-Shirt should have PROUD CURMINION writ large across the front, and then nearby, like the warning “fine print”, the following:

“I had an interesting dream. Mostly it involved home invasion and torture and dismemberment, but at the end of it I was wearing this T-shirt”
Oâ€™Fogeyette
April 29th, 2007 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

192 Lynngineering: LOL! That would, in fact, be awesome. There is something almost Michael-comaesque about it, don’t you think?
Lynngineering
April 29th, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

#193 – O’Fogeyette – “something almost Michael-comaesque about it, donâ€™t you think?”

When in Rome…
Moon Mullins
April 29th, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

“I dreamed I went on a home invasion and caused torture and dismemberment in my Maidenform bra”

“you know, the one that has Proud Curminion writ large across the front”
Squid Countess
April 29th, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

I bet some of you have not been exposed to the funny and nerdly cool (IMHO) site that is The Word Detective. It’s a great site for anyone who’s interested in the evolution of language. Terrific archives. I have to admit, I’ve not gone there like I should since finding CC, so I don’t know if the guy who writes it is still trapped living in the middle of Ohio’s soybean fields or not. He used to harsh on soybeans a lot, so be warned, if that offends you. Don’t stay away too long!
http://www.word-detective.com/
fizzy logic
April 29th, 2007 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

#191 – SecretMargo – Ah yes, even better evidence. Well found!

And for those who will argue that crucifixes are used in Eastern Orthodox and High Anglican, I say see the superior evidence of prior hints of FC Catholicism in SecretMargo’s link. Not WASPs, they. Good arguments for birth control, yes. Fortunately the strip is frozen in time, or another baby would be due any moment.
stinky pete
April 29th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

Waar is Rode Dollar?
OÃ¹ est le billet de banque rouge ?
Wo ist roter Geldschein?
Î Î¿Ï ÎµÎ¯Î½Î±Î¹ ÎºÏŒÎºÎºÎ¹Î½Î¿ Ï‡Î±ÏÏ„Î¿Î½ÏŒÎ¼Î¹ÏƒÎ¼Î±
Dove Ã¨ il greenback rosso?
èµ¤ã„Greenback ã¯ã©ã“ã«ã‚ã‚‹ã‹
ë¹¨ê°„ê°€ ë¯¸êµ ì§€íëŠ” ì–´ë””ì— ìžˆëŠ”ê°€?
Onde estÃ¡ o greenback vermelho?
Ð“Ð´Ðµ ÐºÑ€Ð°ÑÐ½Ð¾Ðµ Greenback?
Â¿DÃ³nde estÃ¡ el greenback rojo?
çº¢è‰²ç¾Žé’žåœ¨å“ªé‡Œæ˜¯?
Len
April 29th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

My late grandma used to say an expression in Yiddish which translated to: That [item] suits her like earrings suit a pig.” A varient on the pigs/ lipstick theme.

A winged pig is called a “Pigasus,” isn’t it?

We need a Sunday edition Mark Trail that shows cheesecake shots of Cherry, and talks about the mating habits of magazine writers and naturalists.
fizzy logic
April 29th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

#198 – stinky pete – HA! How about for the Portuguese one, “Onde esta o verdecostas vermelho?” About as pidgin as you can get, but “costas” is “back”. (The only language other than Latin and Norwegian I can say something other than yes, no and thank you – and not much more! The Latin and Norwegian books are far away, otherwise I’d contribute – Uncle Lumpy?)
odinthor
April 29th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

172 — SecretMargo — Shouldn’t the amorous shirt with the tree frog say, “It is spring. Color my poisonous tree frog…”? Another shirt for spring romance might combine GT (for the quote) and MT (with having an unexpected body part speak) by having a speech balloon pointing “down south” and saying “Will somebody please extricate me from this cubicle?”. OK, right, that’s “spring sex” not “spring romance”; but the one passes the time agreeably until the other comes along.
andreavis
April 29th, 2007 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

I’ve always heard the expression as “Don’t wrestle with a pig; you end up dirty, and the pig just enjoys it.” As opposed to getting annoyed, I suppose.

DTM: I used to bake cookies every day-after-Thanksgiving with a group of ladies. We’d bake all day, ending up with a huge mess o’ cookies that we’d divvy up and bring home. Every couple of hours or so, they would halt the baking to take a “Union Brothers break”, which meant they would head out to the back yard to smoke a doobie. Then, right back at the baking. I’d advise Mrs. the Menace and Mrs. Wilson to do the same. I never took a “break” myself, but the contact high makes the cookies very deeee-lish, dude.
Sheilagh
April 29th, 2007 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

(Psst! Are we alone?)

Is anybody thinking what I’m thinking… involving the Emperor C. and a spud gun?
stinky pete
April 29th, 2007 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

As for pigs & lipstick, I also like the expression, “You can send a mule around the world and it won’t come back a horse.”
Dingo
April 29th, 2007 at 4:28 pm [Reply]

Looking at that Family Circus, I can surmise what type of package Jeffy wants Santa to leave under the tree. tsk tsk
Trilobite
April 29th, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

I’m confused by what’s going on in Rex Morgan: on Saturday, it looked like the board had met, the deal was done, the papers were signed, and Heather “Hooters” Avery was the majority stockholder and in control of the company now. But then comes Sunday, and Rex Morgan’s plan of slowing down Hugh Avery apparently backfires…he goes so slowly that time actually reverses itself, and now Chauffeur Pete and Heather are still on their way to the board meeting.
John C Fremont
April 29th, 2007 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

Flying Pigs – Can’t believe no one has mentioned the Heywood Banks song “If Pigs Had Wings.”

“If pigs had wings, away they’d fly,
up into heaven oh, so high.
If pigs had wings, away they soar
up in through heaven’s golden door.

Oh look up yonder, on the telephone line,
Just a-snortin’ and a-gruntin’
it’s a flock of swine.
If pigs had wings, and birds had none,
my windshield wipers would barely run…”

And so it goes. More information on Heywood Banks can be found…
Jamus The Bartender
April 29th, 2007 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

9 Chickweed Lane:
See Edda Burber.
See Edda Burber stretch.
Edda Burber is a ballet dancer.
So she has to stretch a lot
Which is good.
Very Good.
Stretch, Edda, stretch.
Stretch those calves…that’s it.
Now, the back muscles…oh yeah.
Arch your back, baby…that’s right.
Now bend over…Saint Peter on a pogo stick.
Honestly, I could look at this all day.
Now she’s calling her mom, who is named Juliette.
Juliette is a bio professor at some college somewhere.
Jamus forgets where she teaches.
But honestly, Jamus doesn’t give a shit.
Because Juliette is just as hot as Edda.
Can you say”tag-team action”?
I knew you could.
Stretch for Jamus, Edda.
Thank you.
stinky pete
April 29th, 2007 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”
SecretMargo
April 29th, 2007 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

201: Or just: “While most are quiet about their courting, the spring peeper lets everyone in the neighborhood know about it” above an arrow pointing down (or printed on tighty-whities/boxers — the male equivalent of the Clambake thong)?
Lynngineering
April 29th, 2007 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

FC: Dolly, as her name reveals, is an out-of-date child, aware of “Hail Mary” and religious ritual, but not of Star Wars and light sabres, which is exactly what Jeffrey is imagining he is holding.
His expression is one of inner angst, yet his pose is one of stoic determination. Misread by Dolly as half-assed praying, she turns to report him to the authorities. It’s the chance he’s waiting for. No turning back now, he eyes his target with trepidation, raises the light sabre for that fateful swing against fate itself.
Jamus The Bartender
April 29th, 2007 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

Amen, Stinky Pete.
And Thank You Calico.
Now…where was I..
Oh yeah

Luann:
See Luann.
Luann is a teenager.
An 18 year old teenager.
(Just thought i’d re-establish that)
See Luann dress.
Luann is trying on some hot new clothes.
Because apparently..
“It’s better to be looked at than to be overlooked”
Fair enough.
Let me tell you something about Luann.
If you are a really hot guy, with vacant eyes, like Aaron Hill,
Luann will stalk you for the rest of your born days.
Or, if you’re a soldier in Iraq…or, hell, anywhere.
Luann will send you nice emails that say things like “Guess what i’m not wearing”.
But if you look like the guys who are catcalling and whistling,
Or like the gap toothed “whoo” guy from FBOFW,
You really don’t stand much of a chance.
Unless you get some kind of a makeover,
And show talent in dressmaking,
Like Gunther.
See, there’s a special word for people like Luann.
Clingy.
Slightly psycho.
A modern day teenager.
Okay, that’s seven words.
But I will say this.
During the spring and summer months.
Luann sure as hell knows how to dress.
Thank you Greg Evans.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Dingo
April 29th, 2007 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

I’m not sure which teenager-to-Earth dictionary Von is using but, in English, the phrase “I want to make amends.” is usually stated as “I want to make babies with you. I don’t care how cow-ass ugly they are or if they grow up to write tell-all books about me but right now I’m as horned as Mary Worth in a mirror and even someone as pitiful and horrid as you will do. To the bed!”
Harold
April 29th, 2007 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

Just got back from the opening ceremonies of my nephews’ Little League and T-Ball League, and I had visions of clip-art characters with dead eyes and grotesquely misshapen heads moving in a non-linear and discontinuous manner all around me. Somebody needs to write the book Everything I Needed to Know about Sports I Learned from Gil Thorp.
PeteMoss
April 29th, 2007 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

I know this thread’s about to end but I gotta say:

MARGO! BOXCAR! SATURN! Mother of Rolly Church of Crete! Great Rubber Alligators! My Mug arrived yesterday and it’s AWESOME! I will be the envy of all at the office this week. They’ll ask, “Where’d you get it?” But I’ll say, “Oh, I have my connections.” Maybe I’ll give them Eightball or Elvis’ number. Hahahahah!

Great job willethompson! Thanks for putting in the time and effort.

Oh, and curses upon Von, by the way.
Katie
April 29th, 2007 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

Luann: Greg Evans once again proves how in touch he is with the teens using pants last seen being worn by David Lee Roth as he exhorted us to “go ahead, jump!”
blueberry
April 29th, 2007 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

I believe much of my low self-esteem problem stems from my insecurity about my Plugger status. Today’s strip, however, has me seriously confused. Not only do I not know whether I am a Plugger, but I don’t even know how to rate the contents of my medicine cabinet. I don’t have any prescription meds, and I rarely take any OTCs, so they aren’t in there. But beauty products? None, unless a comb counts. Is hand lotion a beauty product? Is Listerine a medicine? I’m just so unsure. I feel like I’m in Plugger limbo. Which gives me plenty of time to wonder why the Plugger chicken has mammary glands.
Dingo
April 29th, 2007 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

blueberry, fear not. The Catholic Church has done away with limbo. Pluggerhood is not like Catholicism but more akin to virginity. You can’t be “somewhat a Plugger” the same as you can’t be “somewhat a virgin,” no matter how much Condileeza Rice protests. Based upon the contents of your medicine cabinet, embrace your Pluggerhood!

Now, go have sex in the back of a Chevy pickup with the dogs watchin’.
Artist formerly known as Ben
April 29th, 2007 at 7:38 pm [Reply]

It’s official. http://www.gocomics.com/pluggers/
Pluggerdom is now universal. I mean, unless you had a real hot tub when you were one. And that would be disturbing in itself.
M. Bouffant
April 29th, 2007 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

Oh yeah! The very instant I was through with Family Circus (well, that instant was about 45 years ago, what I mean is, the very instant I was through reading it…) I had to whip right over here & see what was being said. Needless to say, I am not disappointed.
Gg83
April 29th, 2007 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

Since we’re speaking of Catholicism, flying pigs, and (of course), comics, I felt that this link would be appropriate:
http://www.idrewthis.org/d/20040301.html

Also, Wikipedia’s omments on “When pigs fly”

I think it’s a pretty common phrase, not just regional. Although maybe it’s just common in my region (American Midwest, specifically the Iowa area). Are there other Curminions who know the phrase and are from other regions?
Nina
April 29th, 2007 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

There was not a single funny in the “funnie paper” today. margoboxcarsaturn
Dean Booth (Tyler Bid Page)
April 29th, 2007 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

Revenge is mine, sayeth Jeffy.
Dean Booth (Tyler Bid Page)
April 29th, 2007 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

More flying pig trivia: A few years ago I bought a battery-operated mechanical flying pig. I hung it from the ceiling in my office and rigged an On button on the floor under my desk.
Mam'zelle Hepzibah
April 29th, 2007 at 8:32 pm [Reply]

Speaking of regionalisms, isn’t there also one involving “hen’s teeth”? That might explain the Plugger chicken’s toothbrush. OK, the expression is “scarce as hen’s teeth,” but my friend google says they’re actually not that rare. So there you go! You’re a plugger if you’re a hen, and you have teeth, and you’re satanic, and therefore lay deviled eggs.
Bitter Scribe
April 29th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

Family Circus is evil. Evil, evil, EVIL. It makes me have hideous thoughts about performing atrocities on children who don’t even exist.
Pogo
April 29th, 2007 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

#225 Mam’zelle Hepzibah -

Pay no attention to that skunk in Mark Trail. I’m the one for you!
Poteet
April 29th, 2007 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

# 188 — Islamorada Girl, your snarking has given me so many bwahahas in the past several months that it’s a pleasure to provide a little entertainment in return.
Harold
April 29th, 2007 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

Oh my GOD! It looks like Mary got Vera to join her team!
Compare Vera’s sky-blue and canary yellow face this Sunday…
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070429&name=Mary_Worth
to Mary’s identically-colored face last Sunday!
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070422&name=Mary_Worth

And both in the fifth panel! Is there some significance here?

Anybody know which team uses these colors?
Blade Runner
April 29th, 2007 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

#229 – Harold: Is it Sweden?
Foolster41
April 29th, 2007 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

Sorry fi someone said this already, but I think this pluggers is just trying to harp futrhter on the “pluggers are old” thing. Following their reasoning, old people have tend to lots of meds (Or that is, more than younger people, which may be true), but obviously this comic greatly exaggerates.
commodorejohn
April 29th, 2007 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

#229 – I noticed it too. I think it means Mary’s infected her, and she’s about to “intervention” Von off a cliff.
SecretMargo
April 29th, 2007 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

229: The San Diego Chargers? The L.A. / St. Louis Rams (old school-style)? Oh! The NAVY!

Now colleges from sea to sea
May sing of colors true,
But who has better right than we
To hoist a symbol hue?
For sailors brave in battle fair
Since fighting days of old,
Have proved a sailor’s right to wear
The Navy Blue and Gold.

I think we’re going to have a revelation of a secret seafaring sojourn that both ladies are struggling to keep in the past. Were Von and Vera (or, “Vern,” as he was known) once shipmates (or…more?), before a fateful sidetrip led beyond the veil to Veraville? And does Mary have a similar salacious story secreted in her sensible slacks? Is that why Dr. Cory never “slides into home,” so to speak? Is that why they look so stunningly similar? Is this the beginning of the end for Mary, as she struggles to subdue the Marty within, and his subterranean sweet tooth for seamen?
Jym
April 29th, 2007 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

=164= It’s like putting lipstick on a Plugger.

=170= Pearls Before Swine: Stephan Pastis abandoned the legal profession to create a comic strip based on yet another porcine aphorism.

=174= A&J: Janis was a hot babe before Edda was a gleam in that cad’s eye.
whoamItoday?
April 30th, 2007 at 8:01 am [Reply]

#24 Harry

y’all is not unisex, y’all is plural, or collective. Either is a lot more fun.
rob
April 30th, 2007 at 8:33 am [Reply]

I hope that skunk eats those men.
RoskoP
April 30th, 2007 at 9:17 am [Reply]

#78 SecretMargo

…with an APT 3-G follow-up shirt: Margolator
Teem
April 30th, 2007 at 9:39 am [Reply]

I’m coming late to this party so I apoligize for repeating what somebody else likely has already commented on.
But there’s a board nailed across the ass of the skunk in panel three of MT. The skunk’s sprayer has been boarded shut.
But it was too late the stink is already out there.
Brian Cooksey
April 30th, 2007 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Automaton said:

MT: Is it just me, or does it look the skunk is getting smacked in the backside with the board thatâ€™s behind it?

He’s smacking himself. He’s the skunk world’s answer to Tyler.
luckyrucksack
May 11th, 2007 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

Bill Keane! Biiiiiiiilllllll Keeeaaane! Why?
Ragexia
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