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Dr. Drew’s love disaster

Apartment 3-G, 8/26/07

Oh my God, Tommie is a whore! And I don’t mean this in the usual misogynist sense of the word, implying that women who enjoy sex, perhaps with multiple partners, are to be stigmatized, while men who engage in similar activities are subject to manly approbation. No, I mean this literally, in the sense that her decisions about sexual activity are entirely determined by the possibilities of financial recompensation. Struggling theater dork? No! Moneyed computer dork? Yes! We see how it works, Tommie. All those people who keep sizing her up as she walks around thought-ballooning aren’t looking at her ass or seeing if she has toilet paper on her shoe; they’re thinking, “Can I afford her?”

Mary Worth, 8/26/07

Speaking of thought balloons, panel one of today’s Mary Worth, in which Dr. Drew spends an idle, distracted moment (possibly during surgery) imagining the severed heads of his two girlfriends eyeing each other suspiciously, is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen.

I’ve been disappointed before by the soap opera comics (most recent example: the pathetic, deflated end to the initially so, so promising “Coach Kaz, P.I.” storyline in Gil Thorp), but I can’t conceive of circumstances under which the next few weeks of Mary Worth aren’t going to be absolutely hilarious. The Love Doctor uses his patented passive-aggressive-minus-the-aggression heartbreaking technique on Girlfriend #1, while firing on all cylinders to overcome the challenge of getting into the starched panties of Girlfriend #2, and both #1 and #2 live in the same building? Comedy gold, I tells ya. Of course, if any of his past, present, or future conquests find out that he conducts internal monologues about his love life studded with elaborate Star Trek metaphors, he’ll never have sex again.

Panel from Dennis the Menace, 8/26/07

Sunday’s Dennis the Menace is mostly unworthy of mention, except for this horrifying glimpse of a young Mr. Wilson, who resembles nothing so much as a pompadoured gnome.

And hey! A big shout-out to faithful reader Matt, who recognized me tonight when we were both attending and enjoying the latest Charm City Roller Girls bout. I’m pretty sure that this was the first time I’ve been spotted in public someplace where I hadn’t announced in advance that I’d be there (i.e., my weekend in NYC a couple of months ago doesn’t count). My wife actually has been recognized before, but then she leaves the house a lot more often than I do. Matt says he doesn’t post comments, but you may remember him as the recipient of a charming Aldomania-themed birthday greeting.

266 responses to “Dr. Drew’s love disaster”

  1. Harry Paratestes
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:17 pm [Reply]

    Poor Dr Drew – caught between a young-ish rock and a freaky, incestuous hard place

  2. Inspector Dim
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    I just noticed that Drew works in “Mountview Hospital.”

    There’s a sex joke in that somewhere, but it’s too damn late for me to think of one. Curses!

  3. skankmonkey
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of whores… did Dr. Drew just refer to Vera as a “working professional?” She obviously doesn’t charge enough, IMHO, because if she did, she could afford a much better hair style. And better clothes. Maybe that’s the real reason she and Von got into a fight – he was her pimp and was taking too much of her money…

    I’m tired, and should probably go to bed now.

  4. Harry Paratestes
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    And why is everyone looking at poor Tommie – does she have a giant piece of toilet paper hanging from her dress? Or is she walking around in a miniskirt which reveals a prolapsed organ, which she alone has failed to notice?

  5. AhClem
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    Maybe those aren’t thought balloons at all, but rather round billboards, signifying that the building is actually the Santa Royale home for the Chronically Unpleasant.

  6. Dr Alice
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    Why would Mr. Wilson have been given a guitar as a Christmas present, when he must have been a kid back in the 1940′s or so? Unless he was a budding country-western singer.

    Now I think about it, that explains a lot. He’s probably bitter because his dreams of a glittering musical career didn’t work out.

  7. captainswift
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    So, I’ve sent in a submission to They’ll Do It Every Time. It mentions technology, so we’ll have to see if he even understands it, but… keep your fingers cross.

  8. Inspector Dim
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    Tommie has apparently forgotten rule #1 of walking around in New York: pants.

  9. Harry Paratestes
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Wilson’s dreams of a musical career plumbed the universe, but he never went beyond being a backup yodeler for Boxcar Willie.

  10. Zamboni_Rodeo
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:26 pm [Reply]

    74, Rainbrd, previous thread:

    Thanks for taking the time to read my piece! In truth, my error was due to laziness more than anything else — I wasn’t sure of the exact chronology of events, and I couldn’t be arsed to go back through all those old FOOB strips to try and get things in order, so I sussed them out as best I could. I guess you could say I’m as guilty of retconning as LJ is, but I’m still pretty happy with how it came out.

    However anyone wants to interpret my version of the timeline is fine by me.

    The link to the story, for anyone who missed it in the previous thread, is attached to my username.

  11. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    Shit, if I could afford to be a John for one of the A3G girls, you know who it would be, and it’s not Tommie. Oh yeah, Margo would leave some dents and scratches. Afterwards, though, you could brag that you survived.

    I’ll have to see the Roller Girls next time I’m down in Ballmer. The Mobtown Mods have got some dangerous cuties on their team.

  12. Zamboni_Rodeo
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

    #10, me: Rainbird

    My apologies for the typo in your name.

  13. Roger
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    We can’t be too hard on poor Tommie. After all, a woman has needs. Those lavender jackets don’t just buy themselves. And she’s clearly in need of very expensive psychiatric therapy — anyone with that many exclamation marks in their internal dialog is just one interrobang away from being committed.

  14. Tommy Smarts
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:37 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Cool to see in the final panel that Night Court’s Harry Anderson is still active in the entertainment industry. Sure, he’s just an extra working in A3G, but it’s paying work.

  15. Dr. Laura
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    In panel 6, it looks like the giant arm of an vengeful god has seized Dr. Drew’s head and is going to rip it off at the shoulders, perhaps adding it to the collection of severed heads in the first panel.

    On another note, what kind of stupid-ass laundry list of medical terms is the good doctor Drew looking at in the last panel? And as long as I’m ranting, have you EVER seen a female physician anywhere in this 1950-ish depiction of a hospital? No, the doctors are all learned-looking men staring thoughtfully at clipboards or conferring sagely with each other in the hallway, while smiling female drones are filing papers or tending to patients.

  16. anameimadeup
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:48 pm [Reply]

    What Mr. Wilson fails to reveal is that his parents NEVER woke up.

  17. Francis
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of Star Trek, Dr. Drew’s blue/yellow effect in panel four reminds me of these guys.

  18. Red Greenback
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:51 pm [Reply]

    MW: Spellman? Cardinal Spellman? Fuck him, he’s been pushing up daisys forty years now so go forth and “diggadog your handle” in some fine, young poontang. You have my blessings.

  19. Burning Prairie
    August 26th, 2007 at 10:56 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Drew is a cad and a bounder, and a scoundrel to boot. That aside, what’s with the Two-face look? Is it some outer reflection of the turmoil inside? Half his face says “I’m a yella’ dog” and the other half says “But I feel really sad about it”. And I’m pretty sure the last panel is in complete violation of HIPAA.

  20. Mel
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    Hmmm, Dawn’s sweater kittens or Vera’s blazer phasers?
    Stunned indeed.

  21. Citric
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    The phaser is, as I recall, long and pointy, so Vera’s stunning phasers would seem to imply, with the plural, that she actually has multipile penises. Multiple very large and impressive penises at that. That’s good to know.

  22. syl
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    Simultaneously dating two people who live in the same building may not seem like a good idea at first, but Drew had to find some way to stay in the conversation when his father started talking about his months long sex tour of Vietnam.

  23. snacktime
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Good God, is that supposed to be Drew’s own arm caressing his head in the bottom left panel? I think we found the piece of arm that went missing during Kaz’s knockout punch a few weeks ago.

    I think Tommie is on Candid Camera!

  24. Prouster
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    I was hoping to see a mention to todays’ (censored) Opus. The strip was left out of the Washington Post but it’s on salon.com and it’s highly tame.

  25. zombiebomb
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    I always wondered how similar soap opera comics could get, but having two comics spend an entire three rows shallowly comparing two awful choices in dating, all the while forgoing any actual dialogue or responsibilities such as dressing to avoid disturbing the peace or paying attention to which meds you are prescribing to whom, I think I know just how similar these doppelganged worlds can be.

  26. Mibbitmaker
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:27 pm [Reply]

    Monday Morning Momics -er- Comics:

    FW: “Mommy, I don’t wanna do this again ~~ You’re scaring my classmates!”

    FOOB: ….Huh?? ….Wha’??????

    Ghost-Who-Starts-Storylines: What is it? Race problems? Gender problems? Comic strip storyline problems?

    Curtis: Maybe the first. Definately the second.

    BBailey: Beetle & Sarge’s S&M gay thingy continues….

  27. Lore
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:40 pm [Reply]

    Even at the age of eight, Mr. Wilson was a hardcore alcoholic, as evidenced by his little distended nose, glowing with burst capillaries.Clearly he opened all the presents because he was trying to figure out where dad hid the Wild Turkey.

  28. Poteet
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    Foob — I don’t really understand the Monday strip, which is a relief, actually. I understand most Foob strips all too well.

  29. Ribinin
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    #22 syl – “Simultaneously dating two people who live in the same building may not seem like a good idea”.

    Actually I like it a lot. It sets up the classic hilarity of having to run back and forth from two home cooked dinners at the same time all the while trying to avoid (and failing) being seen by Mary.

  30. Aaron
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

    The last panel of today’s Mary Worth is actually a complete change of thought for Dr. Drew. “Wow, Mrs. Wilkins’ angiogram results are abysmal. She could drop dead at any moment. I’d rather not be the teller of sad tales, so I’ll let her figure that one out herself!”

  31. Frank Parsnip
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

    MT: Mr. Thomas is luckily blessed with Betty Page (graowwwwwrrrrrrrrr!) as a stenographer ready to take dictation during his every phone call. What a lucky duck!

    Jugs Parker: We rapidly go from an account of how Sam makes Busty wet to the Flattop McMullet marathon. “LALALALALALA! You’re screaming at me, so I can’t hear you!” said Flattop, as he ran out to within earshot of only little girl to whom he feels he can truly confide about the huge lake under the vineyard. In this scene, Flattop reminds me of FBI agent Milton Dammers in “The Frighteners” — we just need Flattop cranking up the Carpenters “Superstar” to block out Trudi’s voice to make it complete.

    RMMD: “Secure area”? “Operations center”? Seems like the Avery International headquarters was put together as the hidey spot for Dick Cheney. Oops. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.

    A3G: Nora Mills arrives at the bank, where she’s faced with the mysterious teller Teller. Not Ms. or Ms. Teller — just “Teller”, the smaller-sized half of “Penn & …”

    GT: With Bill’s fists up like that on Saturday, he looks like he could be S-M’s THE SHOCKER! Better get Kaz back in here with a fresh cup of coffee and a new set of pearl earrings. However, in today’s second bout Bill’s going to be busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. Right.

    Slylock Fox: Thanks to the colorists, the burning lamp in the tomb is just as grey as everything else including the tomb’s wall art. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/comics/king_slylock.html?name=Slylock) Perhaps it’s not a real burning lamp but just an image of one painted there thousands of years ago? “False alarm… nobody’s been in here and nobody’s hiding in the tomb,” Slylock Fox said. “Don’t be so sure of that,” said Cassandra Cat, who stood up and moved towards him, seductively unwrapping the thin layer of gauze covering her eight nipples.

    Beatle Bailey: Meanwhile, Sarge can’t get a punch in edgewise — being old, fat, slow and drunk doesn’t help. “Fush you mang!” should be the final cry of a weakened Sarge while his squad empties their bladders on him.

    BALLISTIC: Heathcliff v. Garfiend That many Sunday strip panels to show that the grandma’s cat-petting technique in Heathcliff is the best? Garfield takes it on points only by use of Odie for comedic belaboring instead of another “cats really love fish” joke.

  32. Anonymous
    August 26th, 2007 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

  33. Andrea D & The Grandstanding Oddballs
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    It really pains me to say this, but the fact that Dr. Corey the Younger is being such a dickwad actually makes me LONG for Mary’s meddling. This may be the first time in which I actually want Mary to butt in to someone else’s life – if only to tell Drew that he can suck it.

    I’m thrilled, however, that Drew still thinks of Vera as a “challenge”. Drew’s probably the kind of guy who finds challenges in opening jars of mayonnaise, or deciding what opaque pink wine to pair with his steak. Because the only “challenge” that Vera has really thrown at him so far is delaying a dinner date and not immediately elaborating on how much sex she has with her brother.

  34. Frank Parsnip
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:01 am [Reply]

    A3G: mistype — I meant the teller is not Mr. or Ms. Teller — just “Teller”.

  35. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    #30 (Aaron): That’s how Lisa Moore’s hospital operates.

    #26 (me): FOOB: Just checked the FOOBiverse Journal, and I got the “joke” from reading comments. But April’s cuz is wrong: it’s the rest of her family who’re the horse’s asses.

  36. Rusty
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    #27: I was going to post that Mr. Wilson looks like he was deep into the Scotch. He must be related to Thursty Thurston.

  37. Andrea D & The Grandstanding Oddballs
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    Hey, is anyone else finding Therese ridiculously hot? I mean, Lynn is drawing her with just a few lines, so much so that she barely has features, and yet… I’d do her.

    Hey, Dingo, loved your letter on Cwahfee Twahlk.

  38. bats :[
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    FW: Oh, geez, it would’ve been so much more graceful for Lisa to have passed on swathed in that vintage 60s afghan, rather than on the sidewalk in front of the public school.
    It could only be better if it were raining.

    F Minus: I’m always a sucker for a kitty cartoon. Especially a kitty and a dead rat cartoon. (“If I had two rats, I’d give you one.”) How come the cat rates a ‘tini?

    FOOB: of course, the fifth panel involves some filthy invective concerning “the horse you rode in on.”
    OTOH, April’s in Manitoba. On a horse. Hundreds of kilometers from Foob Central. Ride, April! Ride like the wind! And never look back!

    MW: Dr. Jeff begs off on spending any more time with Mary. What are the odds that that floozy Ella is waiting for him in bed?

  39. CrabbyGenes
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    I have to tell everyone how much I enjoyed reading all the Therese stories (mostly on the FRIDAY ONE LINERS thread, a few elsewhere), and will continue to look forward to the ones which may not have surfaced yet. You guys are incredible writers!

    Reading one fantastic version after another, I felt as though I were at a patchwork quilt show. Weird comparison maybe, but bear with me for a minute. I love patchwork quilts, and when I go to a quilt show I can NEVER decide which one I like best. Traditional designs, modern designs, the incredible combinations of colors and shapes, the variety of quilting stitches used. Some quilts are simple, some are very complicated, but all are incredible.

    As were those Therese stories. I’ve never had such a great CC weekend in my life! I agree with alamo, who nominated the FRIDAY ONE-LINERS thread as the thread-of-the-month. (And if I may, I would include Zambini_Rodeo’s story, even though it was linked to in a different thread, as well as other future versions yet to surface.)

    I said before that I didn’t want to sound like a teacher, but I guess it’s my fate. After all, it’s what I do for a living. I am resigned to the fact that I’ll never be snarky enough to get a COTW mention, but I have to say that it’s fun to help make things happen. So again, thanks to all for those wonderful stories. They made the week of FBOFW strips so much more endurable!

  40. Poteet
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    DT — Don’t take Gretchen’s murderous intentions personally, Dick. A lot of us want your entire STRIP dead.

  41. Mariko
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:47 am [Reply]

    #6 Dr Alice– I think that’s actually a ukulele. You see, Mr George Wilson truly had a desire to play Hawai`ian music, and was bummed out when that didn’t work.

  42. Spotted HØrse
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:52 am [Reply]

    A3G: Heads are turning because of Tommie’s inadvertant release of a lifetime’s worth of stored up pheromones in a great, dizzying gush. Everyone’s wondering why they totally wanna do the drabbish chick.

  43. The Avocado Avenger
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    So what in the freakin’ hell is going on with FW? A week ago or so, Lisa was about to start talking to Congress. Then the strip changes to the B-story about the band director, and now we’re back to Lisa and she’s suddenly home and on death’s door?

    What the hell was the point of the Congress thing? It didn’t go anywhere! It didn’t raise awareness or make any points or even explain something we already knew. NOTHING about the cancer saga with Lisa has MEANT ANYTHING, and that is the most fucking offensive thing about this tripe. If you’re going to go there, Batiuk, fucking GO THERE. Say something, make a point, blather a bit, whatever. Even if it’s misguided or over the top, just get it out there and make people talk. We learned more about Lisa in those interviews you gave about this “controversial storyline” than we have from the goddamned strip itself, you miserable little man!

    Sigh. I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that “Crankshaft” is also mind-bogglingly offensive. It’s a heart-warming strip about a family who actively wishes their own closest relatives would die horrible deaths. Oh yeah, that’s comedy gold.

    Once Lisa kicks off, I’m done with Batiuk forever. I’m sticking around because of curiosity; I suspect Lisa’s death will be handled in a particularly flaccid manner. We’ll see her in bed on one day, then see her husband on the phone/at the kitchen table with a friend the next day, saying “She passed peacefully”. Then we’ll get the funeral — which will either be in the rain, or it’ll be sunny and everyone will remark about how it’s an ironically beautiful day — and then 97,000 weeks of Les dealing with the pain and wondering when it’s time to start dating again.

  44. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    I’d make Tommie’s head bobble nine ways to Sunday, I daresay, by golly!

  45. Albatross
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:14 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: Oh thank gawd… Sunday’s ‘birthday cake’ strip was a completely incomprehensible rebus, somehow solved by punching a hole in a cheap grocery sheetcake. But it was eminently preferable to the extended apologia of the entire last week, wherein Liz brutally crushed Candace’s same-sex desires while rationalizing the idea of settling for the emasculated, moustache-less Granthony. The sooner this contrived comic is shoehorned into its grave with Grandpa Chinnuts, the sooner something entertaining can hopefully replace it. Move over Aldo, Foob is coming!

  46. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    Speaking of “I daresay” the NYer vote for the caption is up. It doesn’t appear any of us Mudges made the cut (I guess we are just too sophisticated again) I daresay.

  47. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    You know you’re a Plugger when you get a caption accepted as a finalist in the New Yorker cartoon contest. Me? pissed off?, naw…eggs is eggs. Bush was selected twice, and I’m not scared. Red.

  48. Seamus Gentz
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:31 am [Reply]

    It appears that Dr. Drew has been possessed by the spirit of Eclipso. I expect him to engage in fully fledged supervillainy pretty soon – which if Spider-Man is too be believed, consists entirely of posing while referring to yourself in the third-person.

  49. Trilobite
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    There’s nothing like a piping hot cup of Monday’s comics:

    Dick Tracy: You know, if I were sitting next to Dick Tracy, the last thing I’d want to do is imply that I was a Commie…so maybe yelling in his ear about your “fellow travelers” isn’t the wisest thing to do, Mr. CIA Agent guy. For your sake, pray that Dick is distracted by the way your car is doing an inexplicable, physics-defying barrel roll over the freeway, or by the fact that neither of you are wearing seatbelts during this maneuver.

    I appreciate how the characters have become increasingly bored with their own repetitive dialogue as this storyline has dragged on and on. “I was afraid they’d find me and my chip,” sighs Gretchen in a dull monotone, trading her usual terrified-Katharine-Hepburn grimace for a look of weary resignation. Beside her, the Russian spy is about to yawn. Even they’re completely over this whole “chip” thing and wish it would just end.

    Mark Trail: Hey, where’s Mr. Thomas’s moustache? If a bad guy can build a shopping mall without having to grow facial hair first, how can we know that he’s really a bad guy? The pillars of Mark Trail’s universe are crumbling!

    Mary Worth: I get the sneaking suspicion that Jeff’s been feeling a lot better for a while now, and is just pretending that he’s still recuperating by carrying a cane and claiming he’s got to go to bed at 3 in the afternoon. My proof? Just look at how quickly Mary Worth is heading for the door. If you knew a way to get her to leave immediately, wouldn’t you use it?

    Rex Morgan: You have no idea how much I am hoping that June will grab Dr. Poindexter there and enlist him to help her chase down Peter and Heather.

    Slylock Fox: I know I’ve seen this one before, although I think the first time I saw it they actually bothered to color more of it. Either it’s a re-run or they’re recycling the sample strips.

  50. Frank Parsnip
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Meanwhile, Dr. Jeff sends his Mary home with a peck on her cheek so that he can go to bed in his log cabin residence. Sure, it’s tiring to sit at a computer all day with Mary on your lap workin’ away trying to re-booty your 8″ floppy in front of a webcam, but Corey’s been recovering fast from his penis-chaffing injuries at the hands of 10 ravenous Saigon bar girls.

    H&L: Obviously Browne doesn’t get any paper in which the comics take more than 2 panels to get complete resolution. His paper probably doesn’t get DT (old man arrives again at CIA for 4th tiime?), S-M (maybe PP and MJ will be watching TV together again!) or JP (Sam wanted to meet Caesar’s people “tomorrow”, which is always the answer for “when will this strip move forward?” When? Tomorrow. When? Tomorrow…).

  51. Jym
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    =v= The guy’s name really is Matt? I thought it was “Matt”. Um, he didn’t mention anything about kicking my “ass”, did he?

  52. Edward
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:51 am [Reply]

    I love Dr Cory’s brush off of Mary in today’s strip. ‘Yeah, Mary, even though it’s obviously the middle of the day, I’m really, really tired. Sitting on my arse all day really wears me down. So could you, you know, piss off?’

  53. Frank Parsnip
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:57 am [Reply]

    Another Episode of “Dr. Drew Corey, Bearer of No Information”:

    (scene opens on Dr. Drew Corey with an elderly male patient)

    Dr. Drew: Well, we got your test results in today…

    Patient: What does it say?

    Dr. Drew: Well, your DTCB count is 233.3, your BNOT is at 455, and your TMSPS is at .4.

    Patient: But what does that mean, doc?

    Dr. Drew: What do you think that means?

    Patient: Am I going to die?

    Dr. Drew: (thought balloon) I’d better get out now and he’ll figure it out for himself. (aloud) Well, I’d better get along to my other patients. See ya!

    (Dr. Drew walks out)

    Patient: (thought balloon) I’m going to die!

    Ginormous Squirrel: Mark Trail says hi!

  54. Spiro Theodore Agnew
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:18 am [Reply]

    Can someone help me? I seem to be lost.

  55. Barbara Q. Ribs
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    Yeah right Spiro…Viva Lost Wages is more your speed. Sweety Baby, never darken the toweis of the fine, fine, superfine folks and their superfine career stages on the CC again!
    Red Greenback is babelicious!
    I’m outta here like Vladimir, Champagne wishes and Caviar dreams, Mudgekins!

  56. Rex Morgan, M.D.
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:47 am [Reply]

    You wanna piece o’ me, punk? That can be arranged.

  57. Jonathan Bogart
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    Zippy, 8/27:

    If more daily newspaper comics contained the phrase “Christopher Hitchens is wrong,” it would be a much finer world.

    That is all.

  58. Zippy T. Pinhead
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    You people should really read and absorb every word Red Greenback says on this bloggy thing. The man makes some really good Incense galore!

  59. Zamboni_Rodeo
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    MW What’s the deal with Dr. Corey’s log cabin? Does he live at the Happy Trails Family Lodge and Campground or something?

  60. Jack Parsons
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:34 am [Reply]

    The Garfield vomit thing? From now on Liz knows to spit, not swallow.

  61. Dub Not Dubya
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:46 am [Reply]

    I’ve been collecting A3G strips for a while to someday do a whole Photoshop series about Tommie finally coming out of the closet. It’s like they’re just begging me to almost every time she appears. Sunday’s strip was particularly inviting, so I went ahead and did some work on it. Special guest appearance by June Morgan, who said something on Sunday that was just begging to be transported into A3G:

    http://members.cox.net/blogpicsaddy/tommiedates.jpg

  62. MetalBruceAZ
    August 27th, 2007 at 4:15 am [Reply]

    Why are people staring at Tommie? Could it possibly have something to do with that scary fucking Joan of Arc-shaped growth coming out of her right shoulder? Get that holy ho listed on eBay, stat!

  63. KT
    August 27th, 2007 at 4:54 am [Reply]

    Forgive me if this has been brought up already, but…

    Didn’t anybody in the neighborhood NOTICE THE HELICOPTER?!?

  64. willethompson
    August 27th, 2007 at 5:01 am [Reply]

    Squiddy is pouring drinks on the float, and I’m up there with all my fave snarkers? Can Monday morning get any better? And #17 francis… click on my moniker to see the REAL Dr. Drew/Commisioner Bele mash-up…

  65. Frank Parsnip
    August 27th, 2007 at 5:10 am [Reply]

    That “love is a decision, not an emotion” thing in MW appears to be a partial quotation that often appears on the sorts of drippy sentimental websites that are perhaps the antithesis of CC. However, let’s take a look at what the supposed full quotation is:

    “Love is a decision not an emotion or feeling, that if made from the heart will outlast anything.” — Raul and Samantha Juarez (attributed to both of them, perhaps because they, like the little Shobijin fairies in the Mothra movies, speak in unison at all times)

    So taking this into account, is Dr. Drew doing anything from the heart? Sure, he’s decided to go with Vera but how did he do it — it’s a “no brainer” because Spellman (M-A-N), the resident ice cream salesman in the commissary, has told him that Dawn is too young … and yet Ms. Shields has her “shields up” and isn’t ready for “warp factor 10″ action with his “photon torpedoes” shooting off inside her “Jeffries Tube”. No sex means we haven’t gotten up to a special “Trouble with Dribbles” episode yet… we’re not even ready for Sex Trek: The Next Penetration or searching out the Klingons around (H)Uranus. Oh, my, I guess there is a decision to be made!

    Sure there is, but it ain’t being made with his heart. I’m sure in there somewhere is a Dr. Drew who’s weeping from somewhere other than the tip of his penis, but we ain’t gonna see him in MW.

  66. OohShiny
    August 27th, 2007 at 5:26 am [Reply]

    Is “phasers” a code for pharts?

  67. John C Fremont
    August 27th, 2007 at 6:04 am [Reply]

    # 56 – I think we can all agree on that, Jon.

    JP – “As Trudi and Keith argue, they are unaware that Gary Burghoff is listening. Yes, Gary Burghoff, loved by millions as TV’s Radar O’Reilly on the hit program MASH.”

    MW – What’s up with the way they’re posing? Is that awkward, or what?

  68. smacky
    August 27th, 2007 at 6:12 am [Reply]

    JP: They aren’t blood related, but damn if Sophie isn’t morphing into Sam today. I don’t care how nerdy Sophie is, what child wears bifocals???

  69. mnemonica
    August 27th, 2007 at 6:21 am [Reply]

    It’s about to start. Here’s a note from Reed Brennan Media Associates, the big comics-page outsourcing company.

    We received the following advisory from Universal Press Syndicate:

    To All Client Editors of FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE:

    With the strips for release the weeks of Sept. 3 and Sept. 10, Lynn Johnston begins looking back to the early years of “For Better or For Worse.” We hope you and your readers enjoy them as much as we do. – UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE

    That note, and similar advisories and corrections — always fun reading — are at

    http://rbma.com/ADVISORY/advisory.php

    Wouldn’t it be fine if UPS eventually dropped the strip because they got tired of writing these advisories every freakin’ week?

  70. Wanders
    August 27th, 2007 at 6:24 am [Reply]

    And then there’s Monday’s MW. Such puritanical intimacy juxtaposed to Drew’s Start Trek hedonism is quite jarring.

  71. Pozzo
    August 27th, 2007 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    Okay, I’m confused. Just what IS that building that Tommie’s leaving?

  72. Inspector Dim
    August 27th, 2007 at 6:46 am [Reply]

    MW Man, but it is tiresome–uh, tiring, sorry, to sit around with you–um, at a computer–all freaking day. Damn, that’s dull. And it, uh, makes me tired. So it’s 3pm and time for my nap. Get out.

  73. Jamus The Bartender
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:06 am [Reply]

    43. Previous thread, Ukelele Ike: Most definitely Violet T Chiuhaha. I don’t think Violet and Rex have a healthy relationship. I mean, the reason she even works there is to keep an eye on Rex. It’s a sad, downward spiral, that can only be cured with a little Tender, Lovin, Jamus.

  74. Whippersnapper
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:14 am [Reply]

    Yesterday’s FW, first panel: WTF?! “We’re on it”?! That’s how you talk about picking up groceries or grabbing the mail on your way home, not finding facilities/personnel to care for your wife for her last days on Earth.

    This whole storyline pisses me off, but what pisses me off the most is that Batiuk is going to take such a chickenshit way out of it by jumping the strip forward 10 years after Lisa dies. That way he can pat himself on the back for being “relevant,” but he doesn’t have to deal with the fallout from her death. Sure, a comic about the day-to-day mourning after a loved one dies wouldn’t be very funny, but it couldn’t be much more depressing than FW is now.

    It’s too early on Monday morning to be this pissed off. I’m going to go look at Fred Bassett.

  75. Jamus The Bartender
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    70. Squid Countess, previous thread: The first time I heard “What I Like About You” by The Romantics was by a garage band in Lockport Illinois. They did it up well. I think I may even have a tape of it. It’s just WRONG for people not to know ALL the words.

  76. Tommy Smarts
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:29 am [Reply]

    I swear to God the only thing pulling me back to MW is the possibility, however remote, that Von and Vera will be happy together.

  77. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:31 am [Reply]

    The best part of waking up
    is ‘Mudgeons in your cup!

    A3G: Funny how Hottie McExnun is content to just sit there and let her face be used as a billboard. I still don’t get what the newspaper headlines are supposed to mean, even though I now know who “Monty” is in this strip. So Monty was caught in a lovers’ tryst? Or Monty has caught this couple… to what end, good or bad?

    BB: Panel 4: Sarge embraces Beetle and blubbers, “I wish I knew how to quit you!”

    BH: Since when did these two become The Lockhorns?

    C’Shaft: Instead of training to chase down Cranky’s bus with their kids’ lunches, here’s a thought. Let the kids go hungry a few days, and soon they’ll remember to bring their own damn lunches when they get on the bus.

    (WT)DT: If Gretchen was so afraid they’d find her chip, why did her apparent ally give the CIA her tracking frequency? And what was Agent McObvious’s first clue that they want him dead? Was it the first time they improbably flipped his car, on Saturday?

    GT: Another boxing opponent spends his time in the ring with Bill Ritter running away. I suspect they’re afraid to hit him. Bill is the first boxer whose victories depend on the other guy having heart.

    JP: Wow. Looks like Sophie is already prepared for a lucrative career as a clerk-typist. Seriously, the only people who wear glasses like that are retirees, and then, only retirees in comic strips. (By the way, nice jut, Trudi.)

    Luann: The impending wackiness is NOT Luann’s fault. What kind of a moron teacher would write “Chapter 5, 6-9″? Wouldn’t that be the same as… I dunno… Chapter 5-9? Now, it would have worked if he’d written “Chapter 5, 7-9.” Then, there’s a reason for the gap. Think your gags through. (By the way, you’re no Trudi, but nice jut, Luann.)

    MT: Homer’s the foreman? Then why was there any question when he told the crew to stop work? The proper response to the foreman telling you to stop work is “Okay, boss. Let’s hit the bar, guys!”

    MW: So Dr. Cory the Elder has been working at his computer studiously ignoring Mary all day, and now that he’s done, he’s pushing her out the door. What a fun couple. So what has Mary been doing all this time to make him so tired of her?
    1) Playing the “Does this bug you? I’m not touching you” game.
    2) Dusting and re-dusting every object in the room while endlessly humming some relentlessly chipper song from “Mary Poppins” that doesn’t even have to do with cleaning.
    3) Sitting in the other room with her laptop, surreptitiously installing keylogging spyware on his computer so she can monitor the Web sites he visits after she leaves.
    4) Practicing her acting-class exercises. In panel 2, she’s being a tree.

    Momma: I think I’m going to start randomly staring at the wall whenever someone says something even remotely punchline-like, just in case there’s an audience back there waiting for my reaction shot. Eventually my efforts will break that fourth wall, and then I’ll be the most powerful person in the universe! Muwahahahaaa!

    RMMD: Nice — and yet utterly unnecessary — jut, June. You should really see a chiropractor.

    SFx: This strip is a repeat. And the coloring monkeys got the oil lamp right last time.

    JJJ: Looks like ol’ Jonah collided with two far softer objects, heh heh. (I’m renaming this strip in favor of its real action hero.)

  78. Joe
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:46 am [Reply]

    FOOB:
    In panel 4, it looks like poor April just had something shoved up her nether-regions…….maybe her cousin is about to show her what happens when you get UNDER the horse!

    At least we have a break from the “Feel-sorry-for-Milquetoast-blame-Therese-and-her-parents-for-the-failed-marraige-and-now-Liverlips-trusts-Elizaloser-implicitly-so-start-ramping-up-and-paving-the-way-for-the-grand-finale-of-FBOFW-with-a-wonderous-whiiiiiite-weddingggggg-where-francie-plays-Beethoven’s-9th-symphony-and-Robin-becomes-lead-singer-in-April’s-band-with-his-mmmm-mmmm-mmmm-and-Shannn-nnnon-getting-knocked-in-the-head-with-a-BOXCAR!-and-suddenly-becoming-a-genius”-storyline….

    Gag!

  79. John C Fremont
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    # 67 (Me) – Oops! I meant to reference # 57, Jonathan Bogart. That Christopher Hitchens. What a scamp!

    I don’t mean to whine and complain as much as I sometimes do, but I can’t help it. I need my kvetchin’. Oh, ho ho! I just kill me!

    (I’ve been away for awhile – Sorry if I’m stealing someone else’s material there. Just call me the Henny Youngman of Curmudgeonland.)

  80. Inspector Dim
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    I demand that Spider-Man forget about this interesting action, romance and falling masonry at once, and get back to Spidey’s awesome Death Valley vacation! He could be turning on the TV right now!

  81. alamo
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    red g-back — i wish i had someone to defend my honor like you have in the bq ribs babe. you are one lucky man!!
    after a turbulent night from all of this,
    i concede that you may withdraw your proposal and we will all just walk away quietly. and no one will get hurt.
    i hope that this will end the feud
    that ensued
    and that bq ribs babe will be appeased
    and be pleased.
    alamoville hath no hell like a woman scorned;
    i will heed being warned
    ……truce???

  82. McManx
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    MW – Poor, poor stupid Dr. Drew. Instead of puzzling over which emotionally scarred female to ditch, he should be investing the effort toward coaxing them into a threesome. He could be Cap’n Kirk and they could be green Orion slave girls…. Yeah! That’s the ticket!

  83. Tweeks_Coffee
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:57 am [Reply]

    BB: They kiss in the missing fourth panel, I just know it.
    ‘Shaft: Today was the first day of school in my area, apparently. Judging by how many moms I saw out front with digital cameras (while I waited behind the bus), chasing the bus isn’t a big concern.
    DtM: Wow, Alice sure is fancied up. Her suave look is somewhat sullied by the expression though. She’s about to backhand Dennis, I’d say.
    DT: I know it’s been said before, but I just really can’t figure out why they gave them the frequency for her chip. I got news for you, Dick; I think they just succeeded in killing you there.
    F-: I laughed at this one today. the joke itself was rather mediocre, but the drawing of that cat winking and reaching for the martini is great.
    FW: Summer looks a little odd there. Is Summer actually a dwarf in costume? Because a story about that could really save this feature for me.
    GT: You would have to some serious effort out to come up with better narration than that.
    La Cucaracha: Joins the “Shirtless-and-nippled” group. As to why the dad’s nipples appear to be up in the vicinity of his neck is another matter altogether.
    MT: Can we take bets on what kind of facial hair this son of his will be sporting? Personally I’m hoping for the classic railroad baron style. You know, where the ends are carefully curled around into a perfect loop.
    MW: I’m stunned that Mary’s little red with black bubbles get-up didn’t get Jeff all hot and bothered. Instead he ducks off to bed with excuse of being tired.
    Phantom: Oh, those villainous kids. The Ghost-who-slacks is going to observe the hell out of those kids while they get the beating of the lifetime at someone else’s hands.

  84. CrabbyGenes
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    #78 Joe. You used so many consecutive hyhens that I had to scroll way, way, WAY! out to see the whole sentence. Kind of fun.

  85. Anonymous
    August 27th, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    Spiderman:

    You got you Hitler in my Liza Minnelli! Yeah, well you got your Liza Minnelli on my Hitler!!!

    “Two great tastes that taste great together.”

  86. John E.
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    Argggh!!

    You got your Hitler in my Liza Minnelli!

  87. Jason
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    Now we know why Mr. Wilson is so cranky. He spent his entire childhood looking like John Lovitz. That’s enough to ruin anyone’s life.

  88. Joe
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    #69 mnemonica:

    Maybe Lynn will slip up and freeze the foobiverse while April is in Manitoba. At least then she will have a chance at a normal life, away from that brooding, screeeeching, fat-assed, bubble-nosed slob of mother she has.

    Not to mention the dumb-assed, no-talent lame-brain brother, sucking her into taking care of his snotty, horrid brats whilst forging the chains of enslavement for Lizzardbreath while the trains go ’round and ’round and ’round…..

  89. CrabbyGenes
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:03 am [Reply]

    I’m still really freaked out by Dr. Drew’s arm in the lower left Sunday panel, above.

    Could one of you talented people show us what it would look like if that frame were larger so that we might see his entire, impossibly-long arm? Dean Booth? Bats? Others? Pretty please??

  90. statler
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:06 am [Reply]

    ##77 Re: Luann

    Thank you! I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed that!

  91. JZ
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    8-27
    FW: I wish Lisa would get on with the dying already. I think the creator thinks we are attached to these characters for some reason. But as far as I am concerned the sooner cancer kills Lisa it can move onto killing someone else and eventually we will be done with this strip.

  92. Old Bean
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m not saying Tommie’s boring, but Sunday’s strip is culled from an entire afternoon she spent walking around the hospital. Just be thankful the artists omit the twenty minute pauses between each thought bubble.

    ‘Well, this day has been…’ (Tommie circles the building three times. Finally, a lone synapse shrugs off the lethargy.) ‘…interesting!’ (Her brain yawns and goes back to sleep. Another slow lap of the hospital.) ‘What a day!’ (Grass grows.) ‘Why does everything have to happen all at once?!’

    I left out the bit where Tommie spent half an hour trying to walk through a tree trunk, till some kind passer-by nudged her free.

  93. Mack
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    Tonight, the role of Mr. Wilson will be played by Kirk Cameron.

  94. Dennis Jimenez
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    Blondie – Dag – Mmm – Blondie an’ me, naked and covered in grease and BBQ sauce – yum!

    FBoFW – The horse is still the brains of the outfit.

    MT – As soon as you are though dressing him – right Mr. Thomas.

    MW – Comics first – fresh from the LoFo – talking cabin cross-over.

    RMMD – I somehow have the feeling that the anonymous lab working is a German war criminal.

    A plugger is a regular fella, if you know what I mean – hint – he takes a shit every day.

    JP – Wow – Trudi’s massive breasts have such gravitational force that they have captured orbiting debris, much like the rings of Saturn.

  95. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Dearest CrabbyGenes,
    Last night I wrote a long story about Therese brackets-acents-brackets and her coping with self-mutliation. It was dark and morbid and as I don’t have too much experience with the disorder, pretty hackneyed and somewhat lame. If you had to grade it, I’d imagine there wouldn’t be a letter grade on it at all, but a terse “see me-I’m worried” in red on the bottom of the last page.
    LJ’s glomming over of post-partum depression (which I do have experience with – as much as a man can who’s lived with a woman that suffered from it) go me so very angry. Sanstaches is a tool and a spineless loser and Therese is well shot of him.

  96. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    By the way, I deleted that story. Sorry all-no train-wrecks to witness today and thanks CrabbyGenes, it was a cathartic assignment!

  97. Dean Booth
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Congrats to all the COTWers, esp. Squid Countess. What a stellar crew!

    FW: Bad Luck? (SWF).

    P.S. Hang in there, Brick!

  98. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    8/27

    DT: What’ve them Duke boys got themselves into now!

    Luann: Hooo! Good number. Hooo!

    BB: Tomorros: Sarge gets prescription for Cialis, looks for off-base phamacy to fill it.

    Archie: From the placement of the stars, we can guess that the “surprise” involved lightning-quick sodomy before being shown the door.

    S-M: By “a far softer object”, I assume Omniscient Narrator Guy is not talking about the air hockey discs that have replaced Maria’s breasts. Those things could take your eye out, y’all.

    RMMD: “Hold on Rex. I have to go find someone with higher security clearance htan Orville Redenbacher.”

  99. mattt
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    A3G Wow. Everybody’s checking Tommie out in the Sunday strip. Even Data’s daughter, Lal.

    FW Not to get too political, but… is George W. really a FW character? Or maybe Batiuk’s a fan and models all his characters’ facial expression on the CiC’s? Just sayin’.

  100. Francis
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    This week in Apartment 3-G, Tommie says, “Maybe I’m shallow.” Tune in next week when Margo says, “Maybe I’m insensitive,” and Luann says “Maybe I’m not that bright.” (Margo will make finger quotes around the word “insensitive”.)

  101. Francis
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    Re #99: Oh snap, Dr. Drew just got out-Trekked by the master!

  102. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    #98, me,
    On BB I meant “tomorrow”, natch.

  103. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    #77, SSB,

    SFx: You mean the lamp isn’t supposed to give off washed-out beige light?

  104. BlinkAndItsOver
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    MW: A disinclination to “be the teller of sad tales” is absolutely key to the make-up of a physician. “That lump? More of an optical illusion, really. It’s just swollen because you’ve been rubbing it. You’re fine, totally fine.”

  105. CrabbyGenes
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    #95, Big Sims. I’d have given you an A for effort. You tried to go where no Mudgie has gone before. Well, at least not to the extent of writing about self-mutilation.

    I have two kids (19 and 23 now), but was lucky enough not to have severe post-partum depression after either one. I’m sorry your wife (I’m assuming it was your wife) had to go through it. When I wrote my original suggestion (way back in the FRIDAY thread, #172) for the real Therese story, I mentioned that her post-partum depression must have been severe. I was thinking of something that happened very near my hometown some years ago. A Japanese family had been transferred to the Detroit area so that the husband could work for one of the auto companies that had a hook up with a Japanese auto company. The young Japanese wife had few American friends and could not speak much English, and she had her first baby while there. Her depression was so severe that she drowned the infant in one of the scenic ponds in the upscale, landscaped neighborhood that they lived in.

    Her incredibly sad story has haunted me ever since. Sorry to post this very depressing tale (it’s worse than Funky Winkerbean, isn’t it?), but I wanted you to know that I understand, to some extent, where you’re coming from. Johnston certainly does have the power to make us fighting mad. (see my #377, Friday One Liners thread if you haven’t).

  106. scan
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    It’s good that Dr. Drew isn’t talking to himself when thinking of the two ladies he’s making time with, what when he thinks the thoughts “On one hand…” , He shouldn’t raise that hand, it makes him look insane.

  107. Major Hoople's Boarding House
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    It must be Monday, the comics are as bad as ever, but nothing’s really snarkable.

  108. Iris
    August 27th, 2007 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Hey everybody! Betcha didn’t know that Gail Martin has an art exhibit coming up!
    (scroll to the bottom)

    365 paintings! Plus a concert tour! How does she find the time for death threats?

  109. Stephen
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    With Dr. Drew’s Christopher Walken hairstyle, one can only assume he’s got a private practice on the side where he does nothing but endorse the Hair Club For Men in infomercials.

  110. Calico
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    MW – so when Dr. Cory the Elder says he’s tired from being on the computer all day, is he referring to Mary, or that thing with the Internet?

    MT – I feel a Groucho Marx routine comin’ on.

    FOOB – Rimshot!
    It would have been much funnier if Lizardblech were on the horse.

    Garfield retching Meteor-size balls of gunk – I haven’t really truly laughed at that comic in about ten years…until Josh’s post. Gross but funny, Jim D.

  111. True Fable
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Mondays are tasty!

    9CL I don’t get it, and I don’t really want to either. Just propose, Francis.
    C’haft Personally, I think after the first day when C’haft speeds by them, the next morning the mothers should all gather in one place, throw down a spiked strip to stop the bus, pull Shaft out and beat the fuck out of him.
    Curtis Good job, Ray B! Bringing the funny on Mondays, as it should be.
    DtM Don’t talk with your mouth full, Dennis. Who do you think you are – a Patterson?
    (WT)DT G-men used to refer to all Communists as ‘fellow travelers’, but since they are all traveling somewhere this makes Dick and him included in the ranks by proxy. Dumbshit. Dick will kill you for that.
    FC The Keanes obviously don’t live in the South, where football is played no matter what the calendar says, and pine trees don’t bother to change color. Pine trees say, It’s football time anyway, jackass. Hit the field.
    FBoFW What? A Reprieve from the Foobocalypse? YES!! And it’s rather funny, too. This is like the last gasp of air before Lynn drowns in treacle.
    FW Ah, but then there is Mawkish Theater, where The Valiant Lisa struggles to make it to Summer’s first day of school. She’d probably have a little more energy if she hadn’t gone flying to Washington (waiting in security lines at the airport, crammed into coach seats during the flight, taking long taxi rides to the capitol, waiting to speak, speaking and not really saying anything that many others before and after her did, and traveling back home again to throw a big birthday party for said child) but that’s just what makes her a Heroic Figure to Tom Batiuk, the world’s only living heart donor.
    GA This staff evidently reads patient charts as well as Rex Morgan and Drew Corey do.
    JP Sophie tries her hand as posing like Sam, glasses and all.
    Luann No wonder she performs so wretchedly in schoolwork, if the teacher doesn’t simply put “chapters 5-9″ on the board is any indication.
    Marvin Kid, yo mama fucked with Nature when she expelled your poopin’ ass from her body. Payback’s a bitch.
    MW Many points to cover here:
    1. No, I have NO IDEA how tiring it gets, sitting in front of a computer. Dickwad.
    2. Jeff’s announcing going to bed early! Heavens, he said ‘bed’; I’ll bet that’s got the readers in a lather! All he needs is to declare a ‘wink’ and he’s good as laid!
    3. What’s this? ‘Please drive carefully’? Is he teasing, or did he realize he’d better make it clear that Mary needs to go before his Saigon sweetie who just got into town gets there?
    4. And Mary is not offering to stay and give him a massage, or spend the night, or get naked (urrggh lights out lights out) or even offer a blow job first? Who’s SHE got on the side? Drew?
    MC Ow, been there, drank that. I don’t feel so alone now.
    PBS HA! “Zeeba good as dead.” Oh, I want that on a shirt!
    RMMD June Morgan has fire ants in her pants, or has picked one hell of a wierd time to dance the Watusi.
    SFx Oh, I thought it would say, A.) Maybe no one broke in, but Slylock just bashed his way in and now thinks that because there are bricks on the INSIDE of the tomb, that someone other than he, has. Oh, and there is a wristwatch on the floor that you can’t see because he is stepping on it. But Slylock knows it is there and will smugly point it out and now little kids who stared at this drawing for hours will now cry and feel stupid for no reason at all.
    S-M Next: JJJ gets more action than we’ve seen in the last seven weeks! Excelsior!
    Zits Awww… ain’t it cute. However, I can’t wait for an electromagnetic pulse to come along and fry all of Jeremy’s cool hip stuff, just to watch him mope around and have to actually interact with live human beings to their faces.

    I confess, I look forward to seeing what Spectacular Spider-Brick & commodorejohn have to say about the comics every day, they are spot on in mad assessment skillz!

  112. Whippersnapper
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh!! I was just catching up with the weekend posts and saw that I was a runner-up for COTW!! My first time on the list! Well, that just makes my week. It gives me hope that I can grow up to be as funny as the rest of you snarktacular ‘mudgies!

  113. Fightin Vague Shape
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    MW: Oh, poor Mary. You know you’re never going to get to shag Dr. Cory the Elder, but you wear your Lewinsky-splotched dress to try to entice him anyway.

    GA: Slim’s actually insane. That is so freakin’ awesome.

    GT: Why stop at four legs? They’re all artificial after the first; why don’t you get 99 extras and call yourself The Centipede?

    Pluggers: A plugger needs help pooping. It’s got a certain poetry to it, I’ll admit.

  114. man behind the curtain
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    A3G Poor Tommie. Not only does she have to choose between Gary and McDraery but she’s also being stalked by some guy who is obviously a master of disguise, even managing to appear in drag in panel #5. As for today, who keeps a journal with the fact that it’s their journal promnently displayed on the cover? I guess Tim did this just in case someone might actually think it would be intersting.

    FBOW — April seems to be enjoying that horse ride a little too much. I guess soon she’ll be dating Dr. Cory the Younger.

    MW — Heaven forbid that Mary would spend the night alone and unchaperoned with Dr Cory the Elder. Panel 3 — Mary thinking “Finally I’ve got the computer to myself. Now, time to check out my favorite porn sites.”

  115. Maughta
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    Trudi (of JP fame) needs to donate some of her ta-tas to Mary (of MW infamy). Mary’s looking flat as a pancake today. Maybe that’s why the Doc would rather go to bed in the middle of the day than deal with one more moment of her biddyness.

    And I dare anyone to try and stand in the pose that June (RMMD) has adopted today. She must be seriously into yoga to twist herself up like that!

  116. True Fable
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    #95 Big Sims, The Good-Natured Roadblock – And yet, knowing how well you can turn a phrase, I’ll bet your Therese treatment was eloquent, self-mutilation factor and all. I wish I could have seen it.

    *wistful smile*

  117. Braniff
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    FC–In tribute to the Dysfunctional Family Circus–Where’s Lucy VanPelt when you need her?, Billy thought. Maybe I can get Charlie Brown out of the house and when he tries to kick my football, SURPRISE, SURPRISE–he’ll fall on the back and it’ll be trauma to the groin!!

  118. Foobar
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    Is Dr. Drew’s report calling for 10 *grams* of some drug? Why, why, he’s not a doctor at all! Vera needs a lobotomy: He’ll get a saw.

  119. baltolibrarian
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    No, no! It’s actually the SECOND time you’ve been recognized! My husband and I saw you at the Fluid Movement show last month, and I waved and grinned like an idiot, but didn’t actually come over to tell you what a massive comics nerd fan I am… We’re newish to Baltimore, and seeing local celebrities is very exciting!

  120. Perky Bird
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:26 am [Reply]

    Zippy the Pinhead: I don’t usually read ZIppy, as I’m afraid it’s humor escapes me. However, I couldn’t help but notice today’s strip features the Weenie Beenie! That restaurant is in Shirlington, VA, across from where the day laborers meet and down the street from where my husband used to live! I have always loved the name. Whenever I drive by, I always start singing “Weenie Beenie, Weenie Beenie”, much like Zippy. Never have eaten there, though.

    FOOB: April is riding horses. Do you suppose she’ll come across Dr. Drew and Dawn riding their tiny ponies, and Dr. Drew will suddenly fall for her (April), making the Vera-Dawn-Drew love triangle into a Vera-Dawn-Drew love quadrangle?

  121. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    Re your comment on Drew’s Star Trek-y world and his sex life: “again”?

  122. Perky Bird
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    #120- me
    Oops, that’s “Vera-Dawn-Drew-April” love quadrangle….

  123. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:31 am [Reply]

    It’s Horse’s Ass Day in comics land: both Dilbert and FOOB have jokes relating to the equine posterior region.

    Of course, every day is Horse’s Ass Day in FOOBville.

  124. Alan Vanneman
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Dr. Drew’s Star Trek fantasy: “Yeah, but once she feels my photon torpedo thrusting in her sweet, warm pussy, she’ll … Jesus Christ! Not again!

  125. Josh
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    baltolibrarian #119 — AH HA! I remember you waving at me, and I’m pretty sure I waved back, but what I was thinking was “OH MY GOD I MUST KNOW THAT PERSON BUT I DON’T REMEMBER WHO SHE IS AT ALL I’M SUCH A DOLT!” So this actually comes as a profound relief to me.

    If you are new to Baltimore and have already discovered Fluid Movement, you are doing all right for yourself.

    I’ll probably regret this when I’m a huge superstar, but: Note to everybody: If you spot me in public, don’t be shy! I love comics nerds, obviously.

    Josh

  126. True Fable
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Durr, durr, duh. I just remembered who “Monty” is, in 9CL.

    Oh, no. So we have this sweet little love story that started between a priest and a nun that resulted in them leaving their respected orders and renouncing their vows, then finding each other again and spend the next several months coyly checking each other out until FINALLY the ex-priest starts to propose – and Brooke suddenly decides oh no, we can’t have this, I’ll burn in hell or something.

    Come on, Brooke! You’ve expended so much energy and time on your part and ours, and now you’re thinking about calling out, “King’s X!” and calling it off? Bad form, my man. Even Rex Morgan talked June into being his beard wife. Even Mark Trail agreed (albeit with a blindfold and a dart board) to find a mate after the perfuctory courtship ritual of dancing in a specific pattern before punching someone’s bearded face.

    As long as real priests and nuns can’t marry or fool around, have a heart and let two comic strip characters do so.

  127. Dean Booth
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    #89 CrabbyGenes, this is the best I could do to get Drew’s arm to connect up with his body. It’s gimongous.

  128. Gabe
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    Fable: Why would Brooke need to call on a defunct heavy metal band?

  129. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    9CL – Maybe we should start referring to this strip as 9CL(WTF) like with Pibgorn.

    A3G – “Well, haven’t seen him in a while, time to open up the safe and have at his stuff! I’ll start with his diary…what’s this ‘Plateau of Leng’ he keeps talking about?”

    Archie – The ALGJU3K has something to learn about good business practices.

    A.D. – No. Just no.

    BB – Crankshaft Bailey.

    DT – Oh, good. I was afraid we’d lost the ad infinitum nature of the strip in that brief surge of activity.

    FC – The coloring monkeys strike again!

    FOOB – Liz just called April a horse’s ass and that’s funny? Margoing boxcar, April, get out of that place! Seriously, what in the Foobiverse is worth staying for? (Besides, there’s a lot nastier horse body parts that Liz could legitimately be called…)

    FW – John Paul II on a pogo stick, she looks like the dude in Munch’s Scream. As Munch himself put it:

    I was walking along a path with two friends—the sun was setting—suddenly the sky turned blood red—I paused, feeling exhausted, and leaned on the fence—there was blood and tongues of fire above the blue-black fjord and the city—my friends walked on, and I stood there trembling with anxiety—and I sensed an infinite scream passing through nature.

    Which was, of course, nature’s reaction to realizing that Tom Batiuk was the motive force of the universe.

    GT – Since when does boxing involve dressing like Tron? Since Gil Thorp, that’s when!

    H&L – Hi And Lois gets meta, and, to my surprise, it works.

    Luann – You know, he could simply have written “chapter 5-9″ and this wouldn’t have happened.

    MF – For God’s sake, Tinsley, Obama doesn’t have a caricature-worthy chin!

    MT – Ooh, hopefully Office Lady there will be our Sam Hill for this storyline. Get ready for some punching, Mr…Rush Limbaugh!? I never knew he had anything against ducks. Although I suppose being idolized by Mallard Fillmore might do the trick.

    MW – What are those splotches on Mary’s dress? Do I want to know? No, quite probably not.

    MC – The Starbucks lady is an octopus. Although it kinda makes sense.

    RMMD – June’s so tough, she doesn’t even have to put the mouthpiece by her mouth; the phone will listen anyway because it had better.

    SFx – Hey, coloring monkeys! Don’t burning lamps, you know, give off light!?

    SM – I like that look on Jameson’s face. It’s the same look Ataru had when he got engaged to Lum. The “oh, holy crap, what have I gotten myself into?” look.

    Edison Lee – was beaten to this joke by Bizarro by somewhere around seven years.

  130. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Dearest CrabbyGenes,

    What a sad story. I’m really moved by it, and it adds more fuel to the fire under the effigy of LJ raging in the backyard.
    My wife and I were in a new place with no friends and a boxcar-load of work to do on the house. When the second boy was born, things were fine for about two weeks (fine for me, I hadn’t just had a c-section or tried to teach an infant how to nurse, not as instinctual as one might think), just the normal sleep deprivation and adjusting to another newbie. But when the colic set in, and I returned to work, things started going downhill. We both recognized the signs and ‘home-daignosed’ post-partmum depression. So we worked together and found strength and solace the normal way; longs walks, frequent breaks, enlisting (suckering) neighbors, family who could visit and friends, and eventually she went to work. The work really saved our (her) sanity, adult conversation is really key. Ultimately things evened out and we really lucked out. Boy2 is a happy child now who only fusses when I spend too much time on the computer reading 760+ posts (ha!) or when I’m trying to compose a letter of congratulation to Squid Countess. My wife is making tons of friends at work and we’re having a really good time rebuilding our house.
    I guess my wife and I were lucky, and caught it early and were open enough to reach out to new neighbors. LJ’s hamfisted, one caption discussion of post-partium depression was alarming coming from a mother, but true to form, LJ mangled that subject too (see Sha…non), even with her personal experiences to draw (ha ha!) from.

  131. Gabe
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    I would ask that someone make a “shirtless and nippled” shirt up, but I think that might defeat the purpose.

  132. smacky
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    # 91, JZ,

    You know what’s really awesome? Since Batuik is jumping forward 10 years, who knows what he will do? He might pull a “two-fer” and have Wally killed in Iraq 9.5 years earlier! Then one-armed woman will be married to Comic Book Guy.

    And Big Nose kid will have a seven-year-old child with Blonde Girlfriend. They managed to have three years of contraception-free sex before she got knocked up and they dropped out of school. He’ll be working with Funky at the pizza parlor. The owner of the pizza place had a stroke and fell face-first in the pizza oven 8 years earlier, and left the place to Funky.

    Who knows how much Batuik will do? With ten years to play with, he can fuck these characters up in ways we’ve never imagined!

  133. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:21 am [Reply]

    #131 Gabe,
    I’d wear that shirt. Kind of deconstructionist in its way.

  134. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    #131 Gabe,
    How about “Nippled when Shirtless”?

  135. Anonymous
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    122 – Where do the horses fit in?

  136. Kate
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    FW: Lisa collapses on the sidewalk as her tiny child walks away from her. Can’t we just watch them both being burned at the stake? It would be a lot faster, even in Batiuk time.

    FOOB: As far as I can figure, “Now you’re the part with the ears” doesn’t mean what it says. What it *says* is “Now you’re the part that can listen.” But what it *means* is “Now you’re not the part with the anus in it.” Therefore, this punchline could have mentioned any other part of the horse besides the anus and it would have carried the same meaning. “Now you’re the part with the fetlocks.” “Now you’re the part with the uvula,” assuming horses have uvulas. The point is, April is no longer the anus. Ha ha! So why couldn’t this punchline have been more focused? Why couldn’t it have said “You’re no longer the part with the anus,” or maybe “You’re no longer the hind part”? Or “You’re no longer the part that smells like Robin”? Or maybe I’m thinking about this too carefully. Yeah, that’s it. I think I’ll go diggadog the toilet instead. That’s infinitely more satisfying. Thank you for your attention.

  137. Kate
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    Okay, I just did a Google search on “horses uvulas” and I found “Matthew Conroy’s Uvula Page.” I … I …

  138. Rainbird
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    #77 The Spectacular Spider-Brick Re Mary Worth

    No, has not one figured this one out yet. We haven’t seen Mary Worth in, what, 3 weeks or so. They are tired because they’ve been riding thier love machine together. I don’t know where the cabin is, otherwise known as a love shack, but it ain’t in Southern Calif., the way the rest of the community is. They have holed up up at Big Bear or something. No wonder Cory the Senior wonders how Mary is going to get home.

    Making love, in the afternoon…la, la, la

  139. Deborah
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Who called it? Who called it?

    That’s right. I’ve been saying for weeks that Dr. Drew is a Vulcan, or possibly a Romulan, due to his identifying hairstyle and his strange discomfort with human notions of sexuality, which involve things other than finger-touching.

    But would you listen?

    Well, now you know.

  140. Artist formerly known as Ben
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    #104 Blink&,
    So it was Dr Drew who gave Lisa Moore a clean bill of health? Man, the Funkiverse really needs to stop outsourcing its medicine to MW.

  141. True Fable
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    #128 Gabe – Wow, no shit, there’s a band called King’s X? I had no idea, but I don’t follow heavy metal so I was out of the loop. Cool to know, though, thanks!

    On the other hand, there goes my best reference for “time out” or “placebacks” or “truce.” se la vie.

    #136 Kate – Take these and the Foob-induced shivers should diminish quickly.

  142. Kate
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    GOATS! Palomino-design goats!

    WTF? I feel much better already.

  143. SecretMargo
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    MW: “Tiresome” [does not equal sign] “tired.” I think Dr. Corey’s trying to be a bit ironic here. The real subtext: “Staring at a computer screen all day sending Agent Orange charity spam may start to wear on my nerves, but it’s nothing like the sandpaper-to-my-synapses response that takes over when I see your beige LeBaron swing into my driveway.”

    “Or wait…. I meant to say ‘I’m tired.’ Yeah. That’s it.”

    FOOB: First Liz, now April. Will the cherry-popping chevals of the Canadian prairie stop at nothing? Well, at least April no longer has to worry about losin’ it to Gerald and can concentrate on finding some divorced loser with a kid so she won’t have to worry about having sex ever again.

  144. Islamorada Girl
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:56 am [Reply]

    Young Dr. Drew is a Klingon. But check out Mary’s red shirtwaist dress today: she’s been hitting June Cleaver’s yard sales.

  145. mako
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    MW: Although I too enjoy musing over what exactly is driving the elder Dr. Cory to turn in at what appears to be 6pm, I am much more amused by the look on Mary’s face in the second panel. “That schmuck is going to bed and trusting me to show myself out? It’s time to meddle like I’ve never meddled before!”

  146. True Fable
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    #137 Kate – UVULA! That’s the word I was trying to think of the other day, it was driving me absolutely crazy, right on the edge of recognition as it was. Someone next to me said, “what’s wrong with you?” and I said, “I’m trying to think of the name of that hangy-down thing in the back of your throat” and she got all defensive and said, “that is the most awkward pick-up line I ever heard!” and stomped off.

    What’s a Fable to do?

  147. Anonymous
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    I wonder what’s in Jeff’s record album collection?

  148. Kate
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    #146, True Fable — remember “aglet.” That’s just to save you the embarrassment of saying “I was trying to think of the name of those little cylinders at the end of your shoelaces.”

  149. gh
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    OBH

    Just what sort of relationship does James have with spaghetti, which he “likes” but has never “had?” He simply admires it from afar? Based on his appearance, it looks like he likes to rub it on his face, but refuses to put it in his mouth. Ruthie helpfully teaches him to suck, not blow. I was just starting to like this strip, but now I’m not so sure.

  150. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    MW
    Dr. Drew the Elder going to bed a 3:00 in the afternoon is just a set up for Mary to run into Dr. Drew the Younger as he barrels up to his pa’s cabin in his pink caddie with it’s “Beam Me Up Scottie!” bumper sticker and Too Short’s Cocktails blasting on the stereo. Mary will corner and pester him until he reveals that he is not tupping Dawn, but Vera. Mary will go into level 8 meddling mode and have a minor crisis of conscious during her ride home (what’s Mary sportin’ these days? I see her as a Lincoln Towncar kind of lady myself) and wonder if she should tell either Dawn or Vera or both.
    Or, she’ll do some snooping around Dr. Drew the Elder’s house (where Dr. Drew the Younger still keeps a room) and discover a blond pubic hair in Dr. Drew the Younger’s pajamas. What Vera’s pubis was doing in his pajamas, we’ll never know.
    Either way, I reckon this will take only 84 weeks to play out. Stay tuned!

  151. NotThatGuy
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    MW: Oh, the elder doc still has his CANE. I thought he was getting ready to shove Mary out the door.

  152. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Beige LeBaron. Thanks SecretMargo.

  153. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    And I was going to make a joke about April’s hymen and Gerald, but SecretMargo beat me to it. He did a much better job than me too.

    I don’t want to think about April’s ‘tweet tweet’ anymore. 4eva.

  154. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    I owe, I owe, so off to work I… Hey! A fresh The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest is live, and it’s a pickle of a doozy!
    I’m thinking along the lines of the Dirty Harry schtick: “Do we feel lucky, Punk?” or the road less traveled: “Penis Envy”…as I say, doozy, pickle.

  155. True Fable
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    #148 Kate – Aglet = plastic shoelace tips? Thank God for the CC site and for you, Kate! I thought that was what we called Oklahoma State University freshmen.

    The more you know….! You’re a peach, Kate!

  156. gh
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    SecretMargo, Big Sims

    I’m thinking she’s a loyal Crown Victoria owner.

    Metallic candy-apple red.

    She’s the little old lady from Santa ROYale!

  157. MossMoses
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    The righteous love sword of Doctor Corey the younger has lopped off the infidel Dawn and Vera heads and placed them in floating decapitation bubbles. If he were a real womanizer, he’d be pondering the menage a trois angle, rather than bothering to blow one of them off. They are both desperate mental midgets so a little brainwashing would go a long way. Vera, with her stiff ponytail handle would be perfect for the oral sex while Dawn could stimulate Vera with the points of her power helmet…

  158. True Fable
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    #154 Red Greenback – Biggest. Beatles. Album. Promo. EVER.

    But I don’t know how to relate it to cavemen.

    I’ll go with, “I heard the rent’s really cheap, but I’m not sure why.”

  159. sangwij
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    Longtime lurker here. Hi all. I have so enjoyed my free feed off your wit and snark. I love comics, always have, but had narrowed myself down to reading only the ones I enjoy. But no more! Now I read all the bad ones again with pleasure, knowing that I’ll laugh at it “someday” as in the next moment when I click on CC.
    It’s hard for me to snark on the FOOB, though. I used to enjoy it. I thought it was a nicely rendered, unpretentious, mildly humorous take on family life and growing up. Now I hate what Lynn’s writing has become: manipulative, stereotypical, shallow, conventional. Everything — storylines, characters, plot twists — have all become convenient devices to portray her increasingly black-and-white view of the world. Still hard to snark on it, though, because it’s like watching someone you care about sink into the pit of Alzheimer’s.
    Also hard to jump on board the Anthony hate train. Poor numbnuts Anthony. He is the straw man for Lynn’s failing sight. Perhaps she could have him take peyote in the desert with a prostitute, grow a pair, and spend the rest of his life making himself worthy of Therese. Then I could enjoy it again.

  160. gh
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    NYCC, trial run.

    “They say guns don’t kill, but it fell right on him.”

    Er, and cavemen. Like TF said.

  161. Candy Apple Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    #156 gh-Thanx Bro for sending me off to my place of toil with my florsheims tippity -tappin’ to the boss beats of Jan & Dean!

  162. Poteet
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:33 am [Reply]

    # 89 & # 127 — BWAHAHA! C-Genes and Dean, thank you. Dr. Drew must be fascinating to watch when he examines patients.

  163. Kate
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    #155, Having been called a peach by True Fable, I can go home for the day. And I found out about horses’ uvulas, too.

  164. Trouser Tent
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Drew Drew Drew….painting your face like Braveheart is unnecessary when facing the challenge of mounting Vera! http://www.diyplanner.com/files/braveheart2.jpg

    However, I’m sure some pleather, restraints and a submissive attitude would get you much further!

  165. Calico
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    #127 – Well, you know that’s what too much You-Know-Whattie does to a guy’s arm. Much more efficient than pumping iron.

    But, he is a Leftie! Which comes, somehow, from the words Sinestre/Sinister. Y’all can take it from here.

  166. Some Guy Here
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Charm City Roller Girls?

    I must admit this puts you in an entirely different light than what I imagined for you, Josh :p

  167. Inspector Dim
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    NYCC: “This NRA theme park is a little weird.”

    Oh, that one sucks. How about:

    Irate readers finally lay a cunning trap for B.C. and Peter.

  168. Godzooky
    August 27th, 2007 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    JP, Sunday & today: Trudi’s titanic ta-tas are practically tipping her over. Darn gravity!

  169. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Calico,
    Nothing wrong with spankin’ it a little. In fact “shaking hand with the unemployed” is downright therapeutic. So long as the good Dr. doesn’t shave his knuckles, paint his nails and sit on his hand until it becomes numb, AKA L’Etranger, he’s just displaying a healthy interest in his body that all emotionally aged 14 year olds go through.

  170. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    Shaking handS with the unemployed, you know, punching a clown, jerking off – giggles nervously…masturbation.
    There, I said it.

  171. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    That wasn’t so hard.

    OK, I’ll stop, right now. I promise

  172. gjdodger
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    That’s two things we have in common, Josh. Join my group, pretty please, and I’ll buy a “M/B/S” shirt. How ’bout that?
    http://sports.groups.yahoo.com/group/bankedtracknews/

  173. Tweeks_Coffee
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Well, after much thread hunting I hunted down the last time we saw Mary’s car. It was during Aldomania! http://joshreads.com/?p=697 Some kind of blue sedan, Cadillac possibly, juding by the squarish tail lights. Before that she was driving a red car when she picked up that woman at the women’s shelter. So I guess Mary changes cars quite a bit. I assume this is to keep the feds from getting to close to her and whatever secret operations she’s running at Charterstone.

  174. True Fable
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

    I’ll bet Lynn’s been trying to research horse uvulas all this time, just so she can get it right for her adoring fans, all to no avail. That’s what she gets for straining at a gnat when she’s stuffed her mouth with camel.

    Lynn baby… I have to congratulate you for not immediately going into the “Elly at 50″ mope-fest I was expecting, plus you’ve given me a chance to snuggle up to Kate which is what I’ve been hoping for, for months.

    But do not mistake gratitude for anything deeper, my precious little desiccated deer dropping. I still have my goat homies, keenly trained in the art of ninja battle, out patrolling the perimeter of Greater Metropolitan Roopville, just itchin’ to head-butt your lackeys back to Canada. Fable love is not for you!

    Only Irascibly yours,
    Truman A. Fable
    Aglet transfer student

  175. Pony McFlattop
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Punching a CLOWN???

  176. Josh
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    #166 Some Guy — I must admit to curiosity … what was your image of me, and how is it different now?

    Two of my wife’s coworkers are Roller Girls, so it’s always fun to cheer them on. Unfortunately, their teams played each other last night. (This actually happens fairly often, as it’s only a four-team league.)

    Josh

  177. mattt
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    #172 Tweeks_Coffee: I seem to remember Mary driving a convertible at some point, too. Or is that just crazy?

    And, c’mon! Okay, the Data’s daughter being in Sunday’s A3G thing is a stretch (though she totally is), but my George W. Bush=Batiuk character comment is spot-on. Seriously, go look at the picture and tell me I’m wrong.

  178. rich
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    129, commodorejohn — That’s not Liz — it’s that horsefaced cousin April visits every summer.

    So, anyone wanna photoshop April becoming “part of that horse, now!”…?

  179. AtomicDog
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    148 – Aren’t aglets sinister?

  180. True Fable
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    If Karen Moy & company are trying to relive the halcyon days of Aldo Kelrast by providing us with almost daily hoots of giddy glee at the preposterous Drew-Vera-Dawn storyline – well, go for it! It’s the best way to battle the dog days of summer that there is. Well, almost the best. ;-)

  181. Tweeks_Coffee
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    #177 – mattt: Possibly, I’ve only personally been reading it for a bit under a year and didn’t look at anything before the Aldo strip. I did see that Vera drives what appears to be a Lebaron, but I believe it was red.

  182. Al
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    re #77 and #90 — Actually, I think LuAnn’s assignment is chapter 5, sections 6-9.

  183. Tweeks_Coffee
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    #178 – rich: I was wondering who the hell that was, thanks for clearing it up.

    I really can’t come up with anything for the NYer caption. Anything that’s occurred to me is really, really lame. So lame, in fact, that it’s well below the kind of lameness that normally gets nominated. I’ll ponder it throughout the day, but now I must return to work.

  184. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    #178 rich – Could’ve fooled me. Her chin’s a little pointier, but otherwise they look the same. It’s like A3G is seeping over into FOOB.

  185. Pony McFlattop
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    #172 gjdodger—Ah, yes! The golden age of RD! I remember when I was a pup in L.A., watching my beloved T-Birds on KTLA.
    Man alive!, Dick Lane sure could announce! Little Raphie Valladares and Skinny Minnie Moore! Woot!!
    NYCC: “Rolly Church of Crete!…I daresay”

  186. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

    Well, they look the same apart from the fact that Cuz doesn’t have Liz’s perpetual deer-in-the-headlights/lobotomy-patient expression.

  187. Girl Reporter
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    #113 Fightin Vague Shape says: GT: Why stop at four legs? They’re all artificial after the first; why don’t you get 99 extras and call yourself The Centipede?

    You made me laugh out loud at work. Thanks. P.S. Your name makes me chuckle every time I read it, too.

    Kate says:

    #148 Kate: #146, True Fable — remember “aglet.” That’s just to save you the embarrassment of saying “I was trying to think of the name of those little cylinders at the end of your shoelaces.”

    Apropos of hardly anything; a friend of mine used to work for an auction house in upstate New York. One of the projects she worked on was the estate of the “Aglet King”. He’d invented the machine that makes them, and made himself a fortune. One of the auction items was a silver loving cup trophy he’d won for Fancy Diving at the country club.

  188. Pony McFlattop
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

    #185- my dumb ass: Ralphie. Sorry, “Raphie” sounds like that new age music guy. Melkardammit!

  189. Trilobite
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    #187 Girl Reporter — I’ve got nothing but respect for the Aglet King. His invention was nothing short of a revolution. Every man, woman, and child who has ever learned to lace up and tie their shoes owes him a deep debt of gratitude.

    But at the same time, I find myself hoping that somewhere in the eulogies, someone took the opportunity to say: “He was a fancy man, with a fancy dive.”

  190. Brown-eyed Girl
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    NY caption contest:

    I thought we were tracking a gnu.

    Ugh! Maybe inspiration will strike later. I’m sort of hoping it won’t, and that I’ll forget about the whole thing.

  191. Pony McFlattop
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    NYCC: “I daresay this ‘thinking outside the rock’ business has gotten out of hand…I *grunt* daresay”

  192. Dennis Jimenez
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    162 – I was thinking more of Dr. Drew in Santa Royale’s counterpart to Surf City – two girls for ev-ree boy – bomp bomp bomp bomp bomp bomp bomp….

  193. rich
    August 27th, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    184 — Ah, the cousin’s name is Laura. She looks virtually the same as Elizabeth from the front but in profile kind of like Rondo Hatton.

  194. Lame Name
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    DT: Did I just happen to miss it, or has no one mentioned yet that panel 2 is an EXACT RERUN of panel 2 from Aug. 23?

  195. Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    OK, I recently (few years back) found out the Roller Derby was real, not just some ultra-violent futuristic sport played by James Kahn or Steve McQueen or whoever, but I must confess to have absolutely no knowledge of Fancy Diving. I can infer it has to do with diving – duh – and that of a fancy sort – double duh – but what is a fancy dive? The cannonball? Was MW showing us a glimpse into the world of Fancy Diving at the Pool Party?

  196. gh
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

    “Phil! Get the lead out!” [now with cavemen!]
    –or—
    “I hear they’re dangerous when they’re cornered.”

  197. Non Compos Mentos
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:07 pm [Reply]

    Monday’s New Adventures of Queen Victoria is a frothy mix of international politics and quantum physics. I heartily approve!

    On the other hand, I’ve been looking through some of the other strips at gocomics, and I have to wonder if anyone, anywhere, thinks that Domestic Abuse is funny. Ever. Does this thing run in any newspapers, or is it web-only? And the title…Oh, wow, it’s a panel about everyday domestic objects. Yeah, that’s really edgy. Hey, knives have edges too. Maybe he’s done a panel where a kitchen knife accuses other cutlery of not being able to handle its cutting-edge comedy stylings. Hoo.

  198. brb
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    #’s 113, 129 Well, I guess I’m relieved that I’m not the only person who had a Lewinsky dress flashback while reading MW this morning. Perhaps Dr. Jeff got a little over-excited while looking at asianorphans.com.

  199. Pony McFlattop
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

    Hiya rich—Rondo’s twin sister Rhonda and Shemp Howard had a “thing” back in the 50′s. Anyhow, one night of unprotected sweet lovin’ resulted in the birth of a daughter whos name escapes me…something like Mothra or Samsonite?

  200. gh
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    RGB! Pony McFlattop on line 1!

  201. Gabe
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Fable: Well, I didn’t know that King’s X was a reference to anything, so hey. We both learned something today.

    (They aren’t XTREEEM Metal or anything, you could probably classify them as hard rock. I suggest tracking down their best track, “Dogman.”)

    Shirless and Nippled shirts all around!

  202. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    #193 rich – I don’t know which comic I expected to see the word “uterus” in, but it definitely wasn’t FOOB.

  203. Pony McFlattop
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    NYCC: “You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God…damn you all to hell!”

  204. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Ah shit! Busted by gh! Do I have the right to remain a dreamboat in the eyes of American Womanhood?

  205. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Also, I just finished listening to the LP of Tapestry my mom got at a garage sale, and I have to say that “the rock & roll Carol King” is something I’d very much like to hear.

  206. gh
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    #203/4 Pony Verdeposto –

    I daresay, this week is a perfect opportunity for a NYCC “I fucking hate [or, hate fucking] Mondays!”

  207. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Now that my cover’s been blown by Master Detective Dick “gh” Tracy, Atomic Gumshoe….Brown-eyed Girl @190- Your “I thought we were tracking a gnu.” is right up there as a strong contender. Send that bad boy in,tootsweet, I daresay….Red.

  208. Girl Reporter
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    #195 Big Sims, The Good Natured Roadblock says: OK, I recently (few years back) found out the Roller Derby was real, not just some ultra-violent futuristic sport played by James Kahn or Steve McQueen or whoever, but I must confess to have absolutely no knowledge of Fancy Diving. I can infer it has to do with diving – duh – and that of a fancy sort – double duh – but what is a fancy dive? The cannonball? Was MW showing us a glimpse into the world of Fancy Diving at the Pool Party?

    My friend had a whole scenario going in her mind that it was a good-natured-ribbing award, but they were all richie rich riches down at the club so the joke was made of silver, engraved, and presented at a big annual stag banquet involving thick steaks and fat cigars. She thought perhaps, under the influence of tee many martoonies, the Aglet King had tried something show-offie from the diving board, but had belly-flopped and emptied the pool.

    The roller derby is also experiencing a renaissance here in Cleveland. One of the teams is named the Cleveland Steamers. I mentioned this a couple threads ago during The Shocker shock, asked for and received a PG description. But I still don’t know how Cleveland got so lucky to be its namesake.

  209. bats :[
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    197. NCM: ah, yes, Queen Victoria. I forget the strip, but when I do remember it, it’s a couple of weeks of fun then.

    Boy, I got nuthin’ for the Monday strips…

  210. Jana C.H.
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    From the size of it, I’d say young Georgie’s “guitar” is a ukulele. Now imagine him in a lei.

    Jana C.H,
    Seattle
    Saith Floss Forbes: If you don’t know the tune, sing tenor.

  211. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    NYCC: “It’s a rock and roll barky stick” No?…Sorry!

  212. bats :[
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    CrabbyGenes: lio might give you some insight into what Dr. Drew’s insanely-place arms really look like:
    http://www.gocomics.com/lio/

  213. Chuck W
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    Panel six of Mary Worth….worst euphemism for “breasts” EVER.

  214. Godzooky
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    JP, Sunday and today: Both days, as if to apologize for Trudi’s Tetons, Barretto closes with Sophie’s Ironing Board. Hey, Ed, you don’t have to be that sorry.

  215. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    NYCC: ‘Bobo, do me spell saltpeter, or you fart? Glog, what an asshole, and on fucking monday, too!”

  216. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Just imagine the word “spell” having an “m” instead of a “p”. Christ, I been hitting the Squack pretty hard of late.

  217. Lame Name
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Marvin reminded me of when Idaho Congressman Bill Sali made all of us Idahoans look like idiots earlier this year when he proposed an “Obesity Reduction” bill to reduce everyone’s weight by repealing the law of gravity. It was supposedly in response to Democratic attempts to meddle with “natural laws” of economics by increasing the minimum wage, and essentially they both used the same punchline. Frankly, it was not a nice memory. I consider my hatred of Marvin even more justified than usual.

    (For those who never heard about the incident, here’s a post from a regional political blogger who compared Sali’s logic unfavorably to an Oregonian congressman’s rant about fake Klingons in the White House:
    http://www.ridenbaugh.com/index.php/2007/01/13/sci-fi-speeches/)

  218. Eric
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    Any of you folks in Southern California who’d like to see banked-track roller derby should visit http://www.derbydolls.com. The LA Derby Dolls had a bout on Saturday and it was *awesome*.

  219. man behind the curtain
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    MW — Resolution of the current story line —
    Dr. Drew, Dawn, and Vera move to Utah and live happily ever after. April joins them shortly therafter.

  220. Ralphie Valladares
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    Hannah Grenade is da bomb!

  221. odinthor
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    NYer CC

    1. “Hey Larry—first we have to invent the Wheel!”

    2. “Y’know, these gun conventions are getting pretty no-frills lately.”

    3. “I dunno—whaddaya say, Bill: Smith & Wesson or Ruger?”

    4. “What did that guy mean, ‘Pose right there—I’m making a cartoon that’s a metaphor for the onset of civilization’?”

    5. “Would you believe that my wife left me just because I spend all my income on ammo?”

  222. Dean Booth
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:28 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: a bit of revisionist history (SFW).

  223. Lame Name
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    S-M: I love the fact that the text box in the first panel tells us JJJ collided with “a far softer object.” With Maria Lopez’ build, there’s only a few objects that could be. I’ll give you a hint. It’s not the head. Or the elbow.

    I thought Ziggy was funny today! Apocalypse, here I come!

  224. odinthor
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    #223. Lame Name. — Ooh, ooh! I know! I know! Teacher, pick me! Me! Ear lobe–you mean the ear lobe! Right? Huh? Why’s everyone giving me a funny look?

  225. Howard Erk
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Hi, my name is Howard.

    I read the Comics Curmudgeon and I never have anything worthwhile to contribute.

    Count me in as one of the teaming masses.

    Someday I hope to get comment of the week. Then my life will be complete. A blogger picked me out to put my crappy words out instead of his.

    What a Plugger.

  226. Sally Struthers
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    Will someone find in their hearts of hearts to adopt Mr. Red Greenback? He is an unemployable layabout with special problems *glug, glug*. A contribution of US $100 per diem will go a long way to helping this attractive in an interesting sense gentleman on his way to pulling himself up by his bootstraps, instead of him pulling other people’s bootstraps (which is annoying, I daresay)

  227. The Divine O’F
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Okay, New Yorker sucks. I can’t believe the ones they chose for the contest.

    For this week I submitted the following, because it was the first thing that crossed my mind:

    “Well, Og, this seems to prove the Big Bang theory.”

  228. Lord-z
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Did Tommie suddenly get hot? Now, she has two men lusting after her. Well, she has Doctor Joe and Gary the Geek lusting after her, but beggers can’t be choosers.

    And something odd is going on in the funny pages. We are getting used to similar punchlines in the comic-strips, but when the soaps starts getting synchronised, something is wrong. What are the odds of two different strips where a hospital worker tries to choose between two potential romantic interest,.

    Oh, I hope that the writers of A3G and MW have made some sort of deal, and Tommie and Drew are going to run into each other, causing both plots to collaps into each other, in some sort of metaphysical madness. But, alas, Mary Worth will probably not get the snot beaten out of her by Margo. Most likely, Drew has some ‘splainin’ to do to Mary, and the A3G writers will forget about Tommie and focus on Margo for a few months.

  229. Lynngineering
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW: Naturally, Michael’s coma fantasy of a perverse two-week family food-fetish ends up at the horse’s ass…

  230. andreavis
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    More information about fancy diving can be found on the internet. Twenty-three skidoo!

  231. Girl Reporter
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

    My all purpose New Yorker cartoon caption has always been:

    “I’ll have the Shavian Wit on Wry, please.”

  232. bats :[
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    MW: Okay, in the fine tradition of American media, let’s just go for the sleeze!
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/1250985271/

  233. The Divine O’F
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    232 bats: BWAHAHA! I’m sure it’s true!

  234. Tabby Lavalamp
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    After taking a good look at the people checking Tommie out, I can only assume they’re just amused that she didn’t realize she’s stepped through a time vortex to 1959.

  235. gh
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    #227 The Divine O’F –

    Hey, I’ll vote for yours if you vote for mine.

  236. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    La Divina: I know! Can you believe those three caribou droppings they chose over our superior cleverness?…Sheesh!
    NYCC for this week: Hey Krog, is it caliber or calibre? That one always confuses me, I daresay.” Of course Krog can’t differentiate the sounds of the two words, but I’ve seen this in comics before, so is that a mulligan? Dear Wendy, nevermind.

  237. Lame Name
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    NYer —

    1. Sadly, the school security guards never noticed the Colt in little Timmy’s caveman diorama.

    2. “Yeah, but how far can it throw a spear?”

    3. “And then, I eat the banana.”

  238. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    NYCC: “It’s a thong Colt”

  239. Major Hoople's Boarding House
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    Dick the Tracy:

    Who under the age of 60 remembers what the term “fellow travellers” means? And why is the CIA guy using it, that’s a FBI / J. Edger Hoover euphemism.

  240. Lame Name
    August 27th, 2007 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    227 Divine O’F — I like it. It works.

  241. Dr. Mabuse
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    FBOFW – Well, April deserves that crack, after her graceless response to a compliment on her riding. “I always was!” – what the hell is THAT supposed to mean? “I was born knowing how to ride a horse”? ‘It’s impossible that I could ever have been bad at something”? Maybe this is just another variation on the “People don’t change” mantra – April rides well, so obviously she ALWAYS rode well. Nobody ever starts off not knowing something and then learns and practices until they’re good.

  242. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:02 pm [Reply]

    NYCC: “How come Rod Serling rises from his grave and time-travels back in time to fuck with us?” That was major reaching on my part, but hella fun!

  243. Stranger…
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    OBH – last two panels reminds me of many a conversation with former girlfriends…

  244. Major Hoople\'s Boarding House
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

    # 146 True Fable:

    Someone next to me said, “what’s wrong with you?” and I said, “I’m trying to think of the name of that hangy-down thing in the back of your throat” and she got all defensive and said, “that is the most awkward pick-up line I ever heard!” and stomped off.

    Ahem… I bet Dingo would of made that line work…

  245. Girl Reporter
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

    Major Hoople’s Boarding House says: Dick the Tracy: Who under the age of 60 remembers what the term “fellow travellers” means? And why is the CIA guy using it, that’s a FBI / J. Edger Hoover euphemism.

    That’s how I think when I hear my 35 year old husband use the word “pinko”:

    Mr. Girl Reporter: [slams newspaper on table] “That *%$# pinko Kucinich”!

    Girl Reporter: “But I’M a *%$# pinko, sweetie”.

    Mr. Girl Reporter: “But you’re MY pinko”.

    Girl Reporter: “And you’re MY male chauvanist pig”.

    [kiss]

  246. Ed Power, writer of My Cage
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

    From yesterthread:

    Jamus the Bartender, Spider Brick, Ukulele Ike, Squid Countess,

    Thanks for your comments yesterday.

    Jamus,

    Re: “My Cage- I think My Cage never gets snarked for two reasons…one, Ed Power is a regular here”

    Yeah, I sometimes regret saying I posted here. I was a regualr reader for about 2 years before the strip came out and I wasn’t going to mention I post here, but my inner geek beamed through.

    Still, even though I’d have to be an idiot to think being here doesn’t alter things a little, I think most of the reason we don’t get snarked is actually we’re too new. We’ve only been out 4 months. Give us time. People will grow to hate us.

    However if you want to snark on the strip, it would be an honor. It’s all in fun. I can take it.

    reader-who-post,

    Re:”My Cage is just…there. Not bad enough to be snarked, not nearly good enough to praise.”

    HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!! DON”T YOU KNOW I POST HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    (heh-heh…see what I did there ;) . BTW: JK, reader-who-posts. :D )

  247. Chloe The Cat
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    True Fable – “The world’s only living heart donor”
    What a wonderful way to describe people like him!

  248. T. Chicana
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    136 kate: “You’re no longer the part that smells like Robin”

    OHH, now that is priceless. I love making fun of Robin.

  249. Lame Name
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    NYer:

    4. Political cartoonist: I thought I’d subtly compare NRA members to Neanderthals.
    William Kristol: You’re fired.

  250. Major Hoople's Boarding House
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Get Fuzzy:

    “No, no, ‘Monkeywhere?’ It ends in a question mark like a Canadian statement.”

    Bucky’s been reading FOOB again…

  251. commodorejohn
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    #217 Lame Name – Intrigued by your post, I checked out today’s Marvin. What does he mean, “mischievous?” Most of what he ever does is poop. Granted, that’s more menacing than Dennis, but it’s still a far cry from “mischievous.” The closest Marvin has ever come to mischief, as far as I recall, is insulting his dad’s tie in 13375p34k.

  252. Lame Name
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    245 Girl Reporter: Awww … how romantic.

  253. Scott5114
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    Check it out, it’s Margo Soap! Apparently it’s sold in India.

    “Gets you finger-quotin’ clean”

  254. benzo
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    GA: You know, I actually that that Saturdays shot of crazy slim in a straight jacket would have been a serviceable punchline for that whole crazy “Using meteorite hoax to scare black kids away” plot. Now, much to my I horror, I find that they are now apparently segueing this into a plot about Clovia trying to get her husband out of the loony bin. Once again this comic is going in a direction that just feels too dark and serious for this otherwise innocuous and simple minded strip. Seriously, they should have just let it be over with Saturdays strip and just started over anew.

  255. Red Greenback
    August 27th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    NYCC: “The elders say it’s called an evolver”

  256. Mibbitmaker
    August 27th, 2007 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

    Pony McFlattop: Don’t you dare say “daresay” ;o)

    (New thread up, I know; I just had to get that silly joke out there!)

  257. queek
    August 27th, 2007 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    246: I’m rather glad that you post here, its nice to get feedback on some of the details. My Cage has some clever things going on in the background, which makes it all the more enjoyable, even if the “joke of the day” isn’t all that great. (the backwards mermaid calanders, etc.)

  258. LouieLouie
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    I like that A3G reflects its NYC setting by showing Tommie being checked out by both men and women.

  259. LouieLouie
    August 27th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    #15: “And as long as I’m ranting, have you EVER seen a female physician anywhere in this 1950-ish depiction of a hospital? No, the doctors are all learned-looking men staring thoughtfully at clipboards or conferring sagely with each other in the hallway, while smiling female drones are filing papers or tending to patients.”

    Actually, there are TWO Dr. Cory, the Youngers. One is even female – http://joshreads.com/?cat=8&paged=18

  260. King Folderol
    August 27th, 2007 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    A3G – I think Gary left a handprint on Tommie’s ass. Thus the staring.

    DM – Mr. Wilson looks like some crazy combination of WC Fields and a mod 1965 hipster who has somehow been miniaturized in a laboratory experiment that went terribly wrong.

  261. LTBF
    August 28th, 2007 at 3:28 am [Reply]

    Tuesday’s Foob-”It feels like I just got here.”

    We didn’t know you were there.

  262. LTBF
    August 28th, 2007 at 3:38 am [Reply]

    217-Now Larry Craig has further embarressed your state.

  263. Les
    August 28th, 2007 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    I MUST HAVE a “hot cup of monkey” T-shirt.

  264. CrabbyGenes
    August 28th, 2007 at 7:27 am [Reply]

    #127 Dean Booth. Great!! Thanks!

    #130 Big Sims. You’ll hear from me soon (I think!) Be patient.

    #159 sangwij. Welcome! Great comment on FBOFW! I know what you mean.

    #212 bats. Great link. thanks!

  265. bartcow
    August 29th, 2007 at 5:35 am [Reply]

    It looks like the men ogling Tommie in the background are actually the same dude, just in different disguises and in varying stages of chewing. This is entirely probable, since, as someone pointed out in a previous post, it takes her all day to walk around the hospital and complete these thought balloons.
    Just who is this mystery man? Tommie better hope it’s not a member of the vice squad! Stay out of public restrooms, Tommie!!

  266. BradyJ
    February 12th, 2012 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    I like to think that Dr. Drew’s line “I’d rather not be the teller of sad tales, so I’ll let her figure that one out herself” is in fact in reference to the lab report he’s reading. “Wow, this Angiogram Hematology is really bad news for my patient – not only does she have an aneurysm, she also has leukemia! Oh well, I’m sure she’ll figure it out.” In fact, it must be something he says so much that it’s become something of a catchphrase, which is why he’s quoting himself.

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