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Metapost: HOLY COW CASSANDRA CAT ON A SHIRT (now correctly spelled)

Let’s cut to the chase: You love Cassandra Cat, everyone’s favorite alluring, sinister woman of mystery from Slylock Fox. Whether she’s sneaking into a movie theater, starting a media circus on false pretenses, plotting to rob public libraries, getting tied up, or luring Max Mouse to his demise, she does what she does with grace, aplomb, and style that will make your heart go pitter-patter. You want her any way you can get her, and since she’s actually a cartoon character, the only way you can get her is on a t-shirt or other product of some sort. Well, now you can buy just those sorts of items at the Comics Curmudgeon store at CafePress!

“But wait, Josh,” I hear you saying. “Your parodies are all well and good, but you can’t just reproduce a copyrighted character on one of your products. That would violate the intellectual property rights of Slylock Fox creator Bob Weber, Jr.!” That’s absolutely true. That’s why these merch items are sporting a logo designed especially for the purchasing pleasure of Comics Curmudgeon readers by Mr. Weber himself!

Did I just blow your mind? If I didn’t, the logo itself surely will:

Do I need to push this any more? I think not. Buy some Cassandra merch already! You know you want to. As usual, I’ve put up some starter items, including the more popular types of t-shirts and, naturally, underwear, but you can email me if you’d like me to Cassandra-ize something else.

UPDATE: Uh, as noted, there’s a typo in Cassandra’s name on the shirt graphic. Those of you who care about minutia like spelling will want to hold off on those purchases until I get an updated version from Mr. Weber…

UPDATE II: Fixed graphic to come within the hour; I’ll let you all know when it’s fixed.

UPDATE III: OK, as you can see above, the typo has been fixed, both here and in the store. I think that those of you who have already ordered will get the corrected version, because your orders haven’t actually gone to production yet. But if you do get the d-less version, feel free to auction it off on eBay for three times what you paid for it.

279 responses to “Metapost: HOLY COW CASSANDRA CAT ON A SHIRT (now correctly spelled)”

  1. Bootsy
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Jamus T. Bartender, look away!

  2. Rainbird
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    Wow, that is so cool. How did you do it Josh? Do you have photos of Mr. Weber we don’t know about?

  3. Uncle Lumpy
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:22 pm [Reply]


  4. That's The Spirit
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    Mind: blown.

  5. commodorejohn
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Bob Weber Jr. is God.

  6. Dean Booth
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    How do those earings stay cold!?

  7. Cranky
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Man, I’ll gladly trade those magazines I stole from the doctor’s waiting office for one of those Cassandra Cat mugs.

  8. Orthographer
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Bit of a typo there in the title…

  9. gh
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Fish skeleton! Fish skeleton! Fish skeleton!

    I am so in! Thank you, Mr. Weber!

  10. SecretMargo
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Hole. E. Shit.

    And I always thought of her as more of a nutcracker than a slicer, but this will do.

    The design is so elegant, with the hairy coconut winking at the audience like those engorged aubergine in old Japanese woodcuts. Good job, Bob.

  11. Uncle Lumpy
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    #8 –

    On the page and on the shirt.

  12. Josh
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    Fixed the typo in the post, but … oh, CRAP, Uncle Lumpy, you’re right. Making a note …


  13. Dean Booth
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    Good catch Uncle L! The joy and excitement have diminished everyone’s spelling capacity.

    Oh, it’s a coconut! I though it was a hairball! (Must… stop… reading Garfield…)

  14. Uncle Lumpy
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

    #12 JsOh -

    I never notice stuff like that — Aunt Lumpy caught it right away.

  15. Tabby Lavalamp
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    Nicely done. It still won’t stop the finger pointing and shouts of “FURRY!” when one is walking down the street wearing it, but nicely done.

  16. Anonymous
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    “she does what she does with grace, aplomb, and style that will make your heart go pitter-patter.”

    I didn’t think it was your heart that was going pitter-patter, but I guess I’m just a perv that way.

    Anyway, awesome.

  17. Aaron the Yorkie
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Cassandra-ize me captain!

  18. Rocky Jones
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

    Maaaaan, you’ve got to hand it to Weber, it’s a rare artist who has a sense of humor about his work, even in the funny pages. And dig it: she’s holding a knife and a hairy coconut. You don’t have to be Fellini to figure that one out.

  19. Aaron the Yorkie
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    Look at the crab. It’s like he’s saying, “Please, OH, PLEASE! Just let me touch you! JUST A TOUCH!!!!”

  20. Bob Weber
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

    Yikes!! I read right through the typo!! I will send a corrected copy to Josh in the next hour or less.

  21. Dik-Dik Vendetta
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Bob Weber is the dude! I think the hairy coconut makes the image.

    And with a picture like that, I’m betting that t-shirt or mug with the misspelling will one day be worth as much as the Inverted Jenny.

  22. andreavis
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    OMG OMG that is smokin’ hott I totally want one, and I’m a hetero female! luv it!

  23. Lame Name
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    You’ll notify us when you’ve got the updated version, right Josh?

    BTW, I tried sending an e-mail to Darby Conley this morning about getting some Cup O’ Monkey shirts. Maybe we can make the same arrangement with him.

  24. PeteMoss
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    I’m just casually checking in with Josh and his clever little blog and BAM! MIND IS BLOWN!! I am now different in at least 6 different ways. Weber really knows what the fans want and he delivers!! I can even understand the enthusiasm that would cause a typo!

    Now it’s up to Barretto or Nolan to up the ante with a little t-shirt cheese cake!

  25. Lame Name
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    We love you Bob Weber!

  26. andreavis
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Oh jeez, Josh, you put it on a thong. How is anyone going to resist making a pussy(cat) joke now?

  27. cheech wizard
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:47 pm [Reply]

    That is totally awesome. Now, if only we can get Lynn Johnson to do one of April, guitar case in hand, hitchhiking braless in a rainstorm over the caption “Roadside.”

  28. boxjam
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Holy Mother of God.

  29. kingklash
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    Mind: blown, boggled, and warped!

    Thank you, Mr. Weber! May the Goddess Bast take a liking to you.

    Now if we can get June or Blondie to pose, we might have a start on a CC Pin-up of the month feature.

  30. Mack
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

    Holy jeez. Weber for the win!

  31. "Semicolon" Jones
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    I wish I had that stuff in my room.

  32. Reynard Noir.
    August 30th, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    She… and there… with the… thing… and… knife… and the… little… and the belt… and oh my…

    I think I have to… arrest her.

  33. benro
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox is my new most favoritest comic. Bob Weber is da man.

  34. Uncle Lumpy
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    Those of you who care about minutia like spelling


    I feel shame, yet must accept my destiny.

  35. AeroSquid
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Wow ! Mebbe Batiuk or Lynn will do designs specially designed for……ah…who am I kidding. They hate us.

  36. Jake
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    CASSANRA CAT t-shirt=collector’s dream. It’s the Honus Wagner of comic cat shirts.

  37. JamesK
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    My mind is blown like a big blown thing.

    Shame I’m gayer then a village of munchkins tripping on LSD. Don’t suppose we could get a piece of Burford Bull beefcake to compliment the sultry Cassandra?

    Ah well, that is still unspeakably awesome.

  38. willethompson
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Bob Weber, you magnificent bastard! You read my book mind!

  39. kate
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Oh my god! That crab is totally cute. What an awesome thing for Mr. Weber to do.

  40. Lloyd S.
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Nahhhh! For a leatherboy, Cassandra Cat just looks like another friggin’ drag queen. I’ll take Mark Trail’s right fist of justice over that any day of the week.

    It is way cool that Bob Weber was willing to help you by lending you his drag queen and even doing the art for you. Bob rocks! Imagine if the owners of 3-G were so helpful.

  41. grover
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    That is the most awesome image I have ever seen in my life!

    I always liked Slylock, but with this masterstroke, Bob Weber has just won comics.

    Feel free to wander home, all, it’s downhill from here!

  42. Joe
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    That’s a fine looking pussy………

  43. willethompson
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    As long as Mr. Weber is correcting the spelling of Cassandra, is he going to add five more differences? Just to keep us on our toes…

  44. cheech wizard
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    Intestines? Vetrinary surgery? Somone needs to tell April that she actually spent her summer job working on the the kill floor of the Hormel meatpacking plant.

    Oh, and my esteem for Slylock Fox and Bob Weber has grown three sizes today. But shouldn’t Cassandra have, like, six more boobs?

  45. maughta
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    Oh My G-d, you’ve just blown my mind.

    Doesn’t take much, does it?

  46. cheech wizard
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    38/williethompson – Just how many times have you watched “Patton” this past week? Do you have it running on loop? Just wonderin’…

  47. Amanda
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    Ohmygod, ohmygod, OHMYGOD!!!!

    MY mind is most certainly blown.

    (And after a trip through the archives to find “Link removed at the request of (no, really) Slylock Fox artist Bob Weber, who was actually pretty cool about the whole thing. Get your rocks off elsewhere, Cassandra Cat lovers!,” I’m feeling a decent-sized helping of shame.)

  48. Andrew Cunningham
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    I so thought the coconut was a severed head.

  49. "Semicolon" Jones
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

    43. I would buy the hell out of that shirt if it had almost the same logo on the back, but with six differences.

  50. queek
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

    *does the “we’re not worthy!” bow in Mr. Weber’s general direction.*

  51. Inspector Dim
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:21 pm [Reply]


    Awesome. I must have it!

  52. Professor Fate
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    I think I’m in love.

  53. willethompson
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    #46 Cheech Wizard, you magnificent bastard! I read your post!

  54. Big Sims
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Sweet Jesus, does my computer lie to me? And Bob Weber’s in on it too? This is bigger than the Berlin Wall coming down! Soon Josh will have a supplicant Lynn relinquishing her Order of Manitoba to him on bended knee.
    Hail thee festival day! Blest day that art hallowed forever!

    ah-hem, yeah, got carried away. Mark me down for an x-large mens.

    And many thanks to Mr. B Weber and his outstanding sense of humor. Please don’t dig through the post and see what I’ve written about your strip.

  55. AeroSquid
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

    I know what I’m getting my GF for her birthday !

  56. Pendragon
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    After the recent unfortunate, um, episode, I was afraid that Mr. Weber would never have Cassandra appear in Slylock Fox again. And while I almost never buy or wear printed T-shirts, I am totally reaching for the credit card.

    Bless you both, Your Holiness and Mr. Weber. May you have nine times nine happy lives. And thank you for not printing the line on the back upside down.

  57. Enlanra
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    I have never commented before (because I’m not as funny as the others) but I can’t pass this one up. I need that shirt. I might need several of that shirt.

    Word to what Semicolon Jones said. Putting in six differences would make the awesome even awesomer.

  58. Bootsy
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

    Wow! That’s a coconut? I thought it was a severed head.

  59. Evan
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

    So is the typo version going to be a collector’s item, like the stamps with the upside down biplane?

  60. SatanicMechanic
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    Wow! This is the most incredibly awesome thing to see! I never even paid any attention to all the cassandra cat madness earlier, but now… HOLY COW!

  61. infallible
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    Whuh????? I come back to lunch to this treasure? I wanted a Cassie Cat shirt, but figured it would never happen. Only to learn that not only is demigod Bob Weber designing shirts, but also posting in THESE VERY COMMENTS.

    I’m all over this once it’s corrected.

  62. Mike Donovan
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Awesome. I was just entering the date on my credit card when I saw ‘alternative’ spelling on the image thing. Hurry! My impulse to buy is slipping. (Not really, I’m totally getting a mug. This is awesome.)

  63. AlmostAGhost
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    That’s teh h0tness

    Will buying one with the mistake become a collector’s item?

  64. Calico
    August 30th, 2007 at 2:55 pm [Reply]


    The Inverted Cassie…!

    Love it.

  65. Godzooky
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Bob Weber Jr. is da man! (Jack Elrod: Imagine the response an okay for the Squirrels or the contribution of an authentic beard-removing RFoJ would get you; please, please consider)

  66. Ringo Beaumont III
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    #23: I vow a solemn oath right here, right now, that I will purchase a Darby-approved “Hot Cup O’ Monkey” mug the DAY it becomes available. Maybe even two.

  67. Mike Donovan
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    I just bought the Cassandra Cat mug because I’m hoping this collaboration with comic strip artists takes off. I want Mary Worth on my underwear.

  68. Pendragon
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:11 pm [Reply]

    #66 – I second that, except substitute “T-shirt” for “mug.”

  69. Perky Bird
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

    Bob Weber, Jr., knows we snark him with love. And he responds with this delightful little gem!

    Lynn Johnson knows we snark her with every malicious fiber in our bodies. And she responds with a boxcar load of saturn.

  70. benro
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    Woo-Hoo!!! I got my order in. Cardinal colored t-shirt. I shall wear it proudly.

    Thank you again, Bob Weber Jr. You are truly a CC hall-of-famer.

  71. Ukulele Ike
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Robert Weber, I salute you!

    Our Cassie is doing Ursula Andress in the role of Honeychile Ryder from Doctor No, am I right?,0,3796741.photogallery

  72. PeteMoss
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    Ya know, if Weber had graced us with a drawing of just our favorite fish skelton, I’d been impressed, but this…this is just 6 different kinds of awesome! If you printed a rear-facing view on the back of the t-shirt, we’d learn whether Cassandra has an extra hole in her bikini for the tail or if she just pulls it thorugh the waist band. I vote for the tail hole.

  73. Professor Fate
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    67: I’m sorry but the words “Mary Worth” and “underware” should never be in the same sentance. Even if the word “meddling” is included.

    FW: Is Les drinking or not? And does Le Chat Blu have the hots for Cassandra?

  74. Ringo Beaumont III
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    #67: “I want Mary Worth on my underwear.”

    You know, Mike…I think we would have all been a lot happier never having heard that sentence…

  75. NotThatGuy
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    I so want a Hot Cup o’ Monkey mug, or maybe enough to take care of my entire Christmas list.

  76. OprEowyn
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    Long time lurker, but this is just too awesome for words.

    So I thought I should use some.

    Many thanks, Mr. Weber. We’re not worthy.

  77. off-model
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    That’s quite the kitty! Could you ask Mr. Weber to design a well-built shirtless Slylock wearing a kilt? Ok, maybe I’m asking too much. Great Cassandra, though.

  78. Gabe
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:27 pm [Reply]

    I even updated the Wiki to reflect this shocking news.

    That’s so cool!

  79. Little Guy
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    Things to do:

    1. buy Cassandra Cat CC Merchandise

    2. write to local paper, asking to replace FOOB with SFx

    3. Marry Bob Weber Jr.

    3a. Write to Congress about those pesky monogamous marriage laws.

    3b. In lieu thereof, beget first born to Bob Weber Jr.
    And yeah, Lynn Johnston, suck it. Hard.

  80. Tabby
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Josh, can you e-mail Jamus and warn him before he sees this? It seems like the decent thing to do!

  81. Cornwhacker
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    #5: I almost added the following story to the “grafitti on college campuses” mini-discussion on the previous thread, but it’s far more appropriate here:

    About 15 years ago, when I was college, someone tacked a Slylock Fox comic to the public bulletin board in my dorm. There was some kind of rambling discussion about it scribbled underneath (see kids, this is how we snarked about comics before the internet), so I added “Bob Weber, Jr. is the messiah.

    I checked back later, and someone had added “Yes! I worship his pubic hair!

    Thanks, Bob!

  82. Gal Friday
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    I think we need a mouse pad, too! Awesome!

  83. Godzooky
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Well, Cassandra takes care of the guys and some gals, but, to be fair, some cartoonist should chip in with an image of a hunky guy for the ladies and fellows who swing that way. How about it, Bill Griffith?

  84. Islamorada Girl
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    You, Bob Weber, Jr., are a gentleman and a scholar and as unto a god! I worship at your feet! I nominate you Official Cartoonist of CC!
    Even as a hetero woman, I want that shirt! The cutlass, the hairy coconut (snert!) and the crab won me over!

  85. Hey_Ari
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Could it be – Mr Weber IS a long time Curmudgeon fan himself – He gave us Cassandra with a crab named Randy, working it like a claw!

    Please send all prizes for solving the puzzle c/o Hey_ari!

  86. Josh
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    #82 Gal Friday-

    Cassandra Cat on a mousepad!


  87. SmartPeopleOnIce
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    Haven’t felt this warm and fuzzy since Uncle Lumpy’s Christmas Carol.

    Although I would point out that in the previous version, Cassandra’s earrings were cold…

  88. Spamhead
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    Furries everywhere rejoice!

    I can just hear her singing “Underneath the mango tree…”

  89. bats :[
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    23. Lame Name: I sent Darby Conley a request as well (I think it was on Tuesday)….woo hoo! Two requests so far! How can he possibly refuse his loyal fans?

  90. Rhekarid
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    There are so many words and feelings that can be applied to that crab, and I love them all.

  91. Godzooky
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    “HOLY COW CASSANDRA CAT ON A SHIRT (now correctly spelled)”

    Um, don’t want to step on Uncle Lumpy’s toes or anything, but might not a headline like the one above deserve at least two exclamation points?

  92. cheech wizard
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    All she needs is a skimpy little top with the caption “Nice Pussy.”

  93. Lame Name
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    89 bats — Awesome!

  94. kevin
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    This is fantastic, Josh! If these sell like I think they will, could a Mary Worth thong be that far behind?

  95. BigTed
    August 30th, 2007 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Something about Cassandra’s simultaneous human-ness and cat-ness is disturbing. Although not necessarily in a bad way. Which is also disturbing.

  96. littlefox
    August 30th, 2007 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    First time commenting, solely to say that THIS IS AWESOME.
    It’s going to be my first time buying CC gear also. Just need to decide: cap-sleeve T or tank top.
    What would a guy think to see his lady wearing a thong with this on there? “Shit, she’s a furry” or “oh man, I’ve tapped into the elusive geek-girl bracket”?

  97. Chupper
    August 30th, 2007 at 4:11 pm [Reply]

    I don’t mean to bring everyone down on this most awesome of occasions, but I just stumbled across this Garfield modification, origin unknown, and I am too freaked out to suffer with it alone

  98. fizzy logic
    August 30th, 2007 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

    Wow! That is some kind of fantastic! Bob Weber Jr., you are hereby a CC god. Thanks!

  99. JudeMorrigan
    August 30th, 2007 at 4:21 pm [Reply]

    My mind is boxcar!

  100. queek
    August 30th, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

  101. Gabe
    August 30th, 2007 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Damn! Now I want the soon to be collectors item RARE ERROR SHIRT version.

  102. Tweeks_Coffee
    August 30th, 2007 at 4:58 pm [Reply]

    Oh, holy crap! That’s 7 kinds of awesome! I must own this shirt.

    This just further proves that Bob Weber is a spectacular person. To have a sense of humor like this about your work truly is a rare thing. Thank you, sir!

  103. MsMolly
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    Cassandra Cat as Honey Ryder.

    **shakes head in awe**

    Although it might have been a little funnier if she was dressed in a stylish little pantsuit a la Pussy Galore.

    Then I wouldn’t have to wonder if she should have more breasts either.

  104. SecretMargo
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    95: It’s a tailtale as old as time. “Furries” hardly invented it. Though Bob may have just purrfectedperfected it.

  105. Dean Booth
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    #104. Symbol World blocks picture links. Try this.

  106. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    D-less version? Howzabout the topless version?

    Anyway: I’m sure we’ll still occasionally mudge on Slylock Fox – but Bob Weber is obviously a good dude.

    Also: just checked in on the Dingo situation – didn’t read every last word, but…damn. That utterly and totally reeks to high hell.

    I only hope that Austria would have been the cherry on top and not the whole, uh, fancy sweet item that comes with a cherry on top – because clearly, Dingo, you won that, errr, confusing metaphorical device that I’m mangling horribly.

    Congratulations anyway!

  107. Harold
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    I am almost speechless. Almost.

    Bob Weber Jr., bask in the love.

    I have never heard of a mouse pad that is “machine washable”. Wonders never cease!

  108. Willy
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

    …and don’t say you didn’t think of it: A pussy wielding a knife while holding a severed, hairy nut. I saw that and my vasectomy scar gave me a twinge!

  109. anameimadeup
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Weber, we are not worthy! We are not worthy!

  110. Godzooky
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    #104 SecretMargo & #105 Dean Booth: You can also get the image by copying the URL from the link and directly pasting it into the Address Bar.


    Btw, nice point, SM, though I wonder whether the Egyptians would put the tail through a hole or the waistband (see #72 PeteMoss above).

  111. Adam
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    Hot damn. Although I have to ask: coconut? Whose idea was this anyway? Why wasn’t she, I dunno, dipping candles, or whittling? That would make as much sense to me as getting a coconut. As long as she was in a bikini, of course.

  112. Octal
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    Oh, wow, this is awesome! Mr. Weber is awesome! :D

  113. monsieurjohn
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

    oh that’s so freaking awesome. high five, josh!

  114. alamo
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    that is not a coconut — that is a hairy singleteste!

  115. Godzooky
    August 30th, 2007 at 5:57 pm [Reply]

    Just to keep Mr. Weber honest, let’s see if there’s anything to pick on in today’s Slylock Fox. Um…that’s a real drooly goat? (Oh, never mind…)

  116. Poteet
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Weber, I join the adoring Curmudgeon throngs in our mass bow. Thank you.

    Actually, now that Cassandra Cat is available on them, make that “adoring thongs.”

  117. Dingo
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

    Bunnë (#94 of last thread): I’ve been reading through your strips and they’re wonderful!!! I’ve already found a couple to share with John: the couple who decorated their home in the early 80s, always being on “my” side of the bed, and the cards for all occasions. You’re witty, clever, and funny. The triple threat!

  118. Jamus The Bartender
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    1. Damn. ;) . I’ll purchase one after I pay my rent. And get some new furniture. Thanks Bob and Josh. I’m only hoping the proceeds don’t go up her nose.
    Thanks, Bootsy….i’m okay. Day by day in every way I get a little better.

  119. Hostrauser
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

    This is more awesome than a clown on fire. Bob Weber Jr. is my new hero. *bows obsequiously*

  120. Poteet
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:16 pm [Reply]

    # 80 — Tabby, there’s been a hoot owl howlin’ bah mah window now — for SIX nahts in a roooow…she’s comin’ for meeee I knoooow…

  121. True Fable
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    I awoke and came in to the living room, where I received my newly arrived Right Fist o’ Justice t-shirt order. I no sooner took it from its package, when I refreshed my screen and this startling manna showed up on my screen. Wow – Bob Weber Jr., you rock. First you gave us a How to Draw a Goat; now Cassandra Cat in all her furry cheesecake glory.

    I’ve got to order one, that’s all there is to it. The fish skeleton, omg! Is today Christmas!??!!?

    P.S. I want to start a Rent A Goat business.

  122. Jamus The Bartender
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Josh, you forgot “stealing Jamus’ furniture, framing him for the robbery of a golden cat, getting him locked up with a drunken Dick Tracy, ” but I suppose that those things were as much my problems as her’s.

  123. fishmorgjp
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    This is so cool — done by Mr. Weber himself, no less. Just goes to show you: the bigger they are… the bigger they are!

  124. Lorinne
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    This is so wonderful it defies description. Thank you, Bob and Josh!

    I was already planning to go as Cassandra Cat for Halloween, but had no idea which outfit to wear. I think this is the indisputable winner.

    I’m joking. Or not. One of those two options.

  125. Poteet
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    # 121 — Sir Fable MTK, a neighbor and I tentatively plan to go to a local workshop on using goats for clearing brush off prairies. She has a couple of goats and may start doing that. If she does, I may rent her goats.

    Personally, I am enthralled by Cassandra Cat’s black and blue lipstick. Mee-YOW. She carries it off better than any goth I’ve ever seen.

  126. dimestore lipstick
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    Well, sure. That’s fine for the guys.

    What do we females get? Slick Smitty, or Count Weirdly?

  127. Kate
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

    Bob Weber, sir, I am setting myself on fire in the parking lot because I am so not worthy.

    Josh, what the hell did you do? Do you have hellbound plans for your and Amber’s first-born, now? ‘Cause it was totally worth it, dude, I’m just askin’.

  128. Plasma
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    This is the first bit of CC merch that I’ve actually had the strong urge to purchase, and probably will. And then I was looking, and hey mousepads! And I’ve been thinkin’ that my old Animatrix mousepad (it was a gift) is lookin’ quite ratty. And I have extra money in my paypal account.

    Events conspire!

  129. True Fable
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    #125 Poteet – That is one of the many, many reasons I am your Faithful Knight, O my Queen! A woman who understands the utilitarian nature of all things Caprine, while also taking note of how cute the little beggers are.

    May I always be there to lay my cloak across the puddles of your day, my liege!

  130. Cafangdra
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:47 pm [Reply]

    Bob Weber Jr. is instantly THE COOLEST CARTOONIST ON THE PLANET. Seriously.

    As an actual honest-to-goodness Cassandra (though not an actual honest-to-goodness cat, or a criminal mastermind) I must have one of everything!

  131. Plasma
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    Gah, no paypal option? Weak!

  132. PeteMoss
    August 30th, 2007 at 6:54 pm [Reply]

    Cassandra better watch out on that desert island or she’ll get crabs. tee-hee.

  133. Kate
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    Mudges must be overloading the Cafe Press site because it is taking forfrickingever for me to get from one order screen to the next.

    Stop buying stuff, everyone! Leave it all for meeeeee

  134. Big Sims
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    Hey Josh, isn’t Slylock Fox for the kids too? Mrs Big Sims is asking for onesie’s and kids tees.

    PS Absolutely adorable pictures will come of this, I assure you.

  135. Jamus The Bartender
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    132. Too late, Pete.
    Kidding. I just bought me a nice new Cassandra Cat t-shirt. That woman will always have her hooks in me.

  136. PeteMoss
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Ed Power! How about some Maureen T. Fox pics on a coffee mug? Maybe a sexy pose in a cubical or leaning on a water cooler.

  137. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:16 pm [Reply]

    Excellent! Mr. Weber, you stand out as a gentleman in a field overrun with foobs. I couldn’t see myself wearing this on a shirt, as I am neither female nor young enough to pull it off as “hip” (young people do still say “hip” don’t they?), but I just bought a mug.

    Once everyone’s had a couple months to scrape up their shekels and buy all the Cassandra merch their little hearts could desire, we need to beg Ed Power to ask Melissa DeJesus to do a My Cage shirt. I could totally see Maureen, Ashley and Bridget posing like Charlie’s Angels.

  138. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

    Great minds think alike, Pete Moss @ 136. But Ed’s the scripter. We have to hope the artist, Ms. DeJesus, is as cool as he is.

    Hey! Ed! Tell Melissa we think she’s cool! If she makes us a shirt, we’ll clean her garage any day!

  139. PeteMoss
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:20 pm [Reply]

    137. Haha, SSB, warped minds think alike!

  140. PeteMoss
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    138 – 139 JINX again!!

  141. True Fable
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

    #137 Spectacular Spider-Brick – I’m not young enough to pull off “hip”, either, but I am squirrelly enough to wear it to work, where co-workers will just shrug and say, “Oh, that’s just Fable’s bizarre notion of fashion.” It helps to be a square peg with slightly rounded corners.

    And when I wear such things around town or out on a meander, I don’t care what anyone else thinks. Let it serve as a warning and/or introduction.


  142. Josh
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:37 pm [Reply]

    #134 Big Sims — Kids stuff added (look towards the bottom of the page). May God and Child Protective Services have mercy on your soul.

    It’s not as cool as the Guns ‘n’ Roses onesie one of my wife’s coworkers made for one of her other coworkers, but what would be, really?


  143. BlueNight
    August 30th, 2007 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    Comment 43: “As long as Mr. Weber is correcting the spelling of Cassandra, is he going to add five more differences? Just to keep us on our toes…” That comment is Made Of Win.

    Oh, and I did buy the mousepad.

  144. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 30th, 2007 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    Come clean, Mr. Weber. When you created Cassandra and unleashed her upon the world, did you have the slightest clue what the end result might be?

  145. True Fable
    August 30th, 2007 at 8:35 pm [Reply]

    From inconspicuous beginnings do legends spring to life!

  146. Onikaze
    August 30th, 2007 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    For furries, this is going to be the fap heard ’round the world. Who knew the character would be Rule 34′d by the artist himself?

  147. Old Bean
    August 30th, 2007 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    Fish skeleton! Claw-waggling crab! Bob is God.

    (Though I bet Slylock’s paddling furiously towards the island, rehearsing ways to ruin Cassandra’s day. ‘Cassandra, huff puff, I hereby arrest you on the charge of… that crab not having a shadow. Yeah, that’s the ticket.’ ‘But boss, you already used that one on Weirdly. The moon landing, remember?’ ‘Yeah, well… shut up, Max.’)

  148. Big Sims
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    Does this Comics equivalent of Conference at Yalta mean the Josh and Bob have broken the 3rd or 5th wall? Enquiring minds…

  149. Big Sims
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:07 pm [Reply]

    The Conference at Yalta. Or the Yalta Conference if you prefer.

  150. Tabby
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    Sitting in my car by the soccer field, trying to finish work that’s supposed to be turned in this evening.
    Ain’t got a radio, it’s my plugger Honda-car.

    But that’s ok, ’cause through the empty space between my ears it echoes



    So, tonight, after I get them all to bed, it’s the headphones and that song about the roof as LOUD AS I CAN PLAY IT!!!!

  151. Christian
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:14 pm [Reply]

    This is great but it’ll be catnip for furries…

  152. TomSFox
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    So, is Bob, like, a regular reader?
    This guy seems to have a lot of humor!
    I love him!

  153. Steve
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    I’m gonna have to buy this. I will hide it under all my other clothes, I will deny typing this post, I will deny ever seeing that design…

    but I must have that shirt

  154. Kate
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    Okay. What is a furry?

    *clenching teeth, holding onto desk*

  155. McManx
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    Oh HELL yes! Cassandra! Thanks Josh! Thanks Bob Weber! Comics for Kids indeed. More like Comix for Kinks. Well done!

  156. SecretMargo
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    154: Kate Wikipedia knows all!

    I don’t see what’s wrong when different Venn diagrams overlap like this. I’m not a furry but I love this image; straight people like watching Rex furrow his brow and make passes at dudes on golf courses just as must as I do…what’s the harm?

  157. True Fable
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    # 154 Kate – as far as I know, a Furrie is someone who prefers to use a stuffed toy rather than a Betty Blow-Up Doll.

  158. True Fable
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    Guess I just have a very perverse group of friends who tell me a limited amount of information, no doubt to their wild glee. :-)

  159. Buck Ripsnort
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    I never, NEVER buy clothing online. But dammit, I had to have that freakin’ shirt. You win this one, Josh.

  160. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    Not all furries are Yiffy Furs. But they’re the ones that are the most fun to make fun of.

    More information about furries may be found on the Internet.

  161. benro
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    How can a discussion of Furries leave out Fritz the Cat?

  162. Foobar
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    My mind is so blown. It’s like Scanners. That is, extremely graphic and shocking, at least for it’s time.

  163. mrmcgoogle
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    LOL! Bob Weber you are officially my favorite artist in the funny pages.

  164. Wayward
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

    Bob Weber, you are fantastic.

  165. Tweeks_Coffee
    August 30th, 2007 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    Can we please not start up the furry discussion again? So far it’s been harmless, but it certainly got ugly the last time the subject was brought up here, I think SM’s link should handle Kate’s question just fine.

    #152 – TomSFox: Bob has admitted to being a lurker on this site. So yes, you could probably call him a reader.

    Just a minor gripe, but would it be possible to arrange it so that when you get a colored shirt the background is the same color? I just think it would look a bit nicer if it didn’t have the white square around the logo.

  166. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    Tweeks_Coffee @ 165: I suspect the white part of Cassandra’s fur is actually not inked. Creating a graphic with white ink on color is easy if you’re doing the screenprinting and separating the color breaks yourself, but with CafePress as the middleman automatically creating separations from a colored graphic, it interprets white as “clear.” Getting it to print white ink would be difficult, if it were even possible.

  167. Lou Shumaker
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to the wife, but I need to get the cup.

    And here’s another vote for a Hot Cup of Monkey from Darby.

    Since I drink easily five cups of coffee a day during the week, I’ve got the perfect excuse for a very, very unique collection.

  168. Lou Shumaker
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Ces, why didn’t you run with this first?

    Hmmm, wonder if Achewood has something on a cup?

  169. Josh
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

    #165 Tweeks — What the SSB said. You don’t really get a lot of flexibility with CafePress — you just sort of upload your graphic (which has to be rectangular) and they do what they do. It’s all automatic.

    And, what Tweeks said. If anyone feels like getting worked up about the righteousness/nonrighteousness of furryness, take it over here, please.


  170. Josh
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    #168 Lou — Well, Ces shares creative duties with an artist, so I think it’s more complicated in his case. Plus, I’m not sure how many people would buy a shirt with Sally Forth in a bikini. Ted in a speedo, on the other hand….


  171. Tabby
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    #121 Goat milk saved my baby. True story (not fable) I couldn’t make enough, he couldn’t take formula, but he did great once he got on goat milk. Really cool people at the local health-food store used to special order it fresh from the dairy for me. Needs hardly be said – I love goats!!!!

  172. Tweeks_Coffee
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    #166 – SSB, #169 – Josh: Oh well, I’ll take my Cassandra shirt in any format I can get. Now I’ll, officially, be the coolest kid on the block!

  173. rk
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    I don’t suppose there’s a chance that the big white sqare around the Cassandra Cat graphic could be cropped off. It would look a lot better on almost any colored shirt (brown, blue, etc) that way. Don’t get me wrong, I like the CC, but she’s looking a little blocky…

  174. rk
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    oops, I missed comments 165, 166, 169. my bad. too bad about the CafePress graphics shop.

  175. Our Boarding House with Major Hoople
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    #168 Lou:

    What, you want Sally Forth in a bikini? Teenage Girl President, yes!

  176. Jym
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    =v= SFx: Hapless Haddock’s skeletal remains were found on a deserted island. Cassandra Cat claims that he was murdered by Christopher Crab and that she only uses her knife for opening coconuts, as shown in this photo. How could Slylock tell she was lying?

    <div style=’text-transform: upside-down’>
    Confused by trendy magazines and dyslexia, Cassandra thought a “low crab diet” was largely carnivorous, but in fact the species is more of a scavenger than an hunter. Christopher probably sucked the bones clean but did not filet poor Hapless. Also, the photo was clearly doctored, as Cassandra’s shadow is cast towards the sun, not away from it.

  177. Darkefang
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Please tell me that crab isn’t giving Cassandra “The Shocker.”

  178. Mongoose
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:43 pm [Reply]

    Bob Weber: You have proven yourself, again, one of the folks able to take the comics business with a sense of humor. I am orderin’ the shirt, heck yes. :)

    As to the Furry discussion: Speaking as a furry, the standard 7-word definition is “A Furry thinks Animal People are Cool.” So yes. Liking this image makes you a furry, but only in the way liking the Harry Potter movies makes you a fantasy geek. You need continual effort for street cred.

    Also: Am i the only one who noticed she’s holding the knife with her pinky out? Now that’s style.

  179. benro
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    #178 – As long as it doesn’t make me a plugger..

  180. TB Tabby
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    I would happen upon this update while watching SWAT Kats on Boomerang.

  181. Poteet
    August 30th, 2007 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    # 129 — Sir Fable MTK, your photos of goats are always a joy to see. I feel very fortunate to be your sovereign. And in a world where so much goes wrong, how nice to remember that goats can do so much good by doing what they most like doing. And letting us enjoy their outstanding cuteness while they’re doing it.

    Okay, one of the things they most like doing.

  182. Poteet
    August 30th, 2007 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

    # 178 — Mongoose, I had noticed the pinky. I agree, very stylish.

    I’ve been trying to think of a male comic character who would cause me to swoon in a Cassandra-Cat-equivalent way if he appeared on a tee-shirt or other merch. I’ve been drawing a blank, alas. Except for Galactic Emperor Chennux, and I suppose he doesn’t really count. (Only for the purpose of this mental exercise, Your Excellency. For me, you always count. In a very major way.)

  183. Electro
    August 30th, 2007 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    “Did I just blow your mind?”
    Mind? What mind? Cassandra however can just blow me any old time.

  184. Herro!
    August 30th, 2007 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    Okay, Mr. Weber must be the COOLEST (in Billy Madison voice) cartoonist ever! First, the super-polite way he asked you to remove the Cassan(d)ra porn, and now he’s creating t-shirts? What a guy!

    I bet he’s also a fan of Bob Ross. The cool guys always stick together.

  185. AeroSquid
    August 30th, 2007 at 11:17 pm [Reply]

    I want a Lynn authorized ‘FOOB FEAST’ shirt. Wide eyes and chipmunk cheeks !

  186. Herro!
    August 30th, 2007 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    185, ha, good luck getting Sta-Lynn to authorize anything.

  187. TB Tabby
    August 30th, 2007 at 11:22 pm [Reply]

    #151: So?

  188. Godzooky
    August 30th, 2007 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    #182 Poteet: I tried suggesting Zippy above, but I guess he’s not swoon-worthy. How about this guy?

  189. SecretMargo
    August 30th, 2007 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    I hate to break into the Cassandrapture, but I don’t know where else to post this at the moment…

    8.31 FBoFW:

    This is becoming both self-parodic and worrying. When was the last time we’ve seen Elly without a wad of grease and dough mashed into her cheek like a squirrel storing up cholesterol to build blizzard-proof artery walls for the winter? And while I’m sure butter tarts have a long and storied culinary history that involves sodbusting and fur trappers and the French and Indian War somehow, the fact remains that if you want us to stop making jokes about Patterbutts and whatnot, you’re going to have to stop showing your protagonists rhyming familial love with removing even the most infinitesimal impurity from the puddles of grease they mash into their maws before even completing the first sentences they say to one another after weeks of separation.

    Lynn’s hungry, everybody. Its starts with butter tarts, but we all know it ends with souls.

  190. Godzooky
    August 30th, 2007 at 11:55 pm [Reply]

    #182 Poteet: Or do you prefer manly-but-sensitive?

  191. Poteet
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:02 am [Reply]

    # 188 — BWAHAHA! Godzooky, I’m not swooning, but a thong with that face on it might cause some eye-rolling and feelings of faintness.

    # 189 — SecretMargo, looking up butter tarts in Wikipedia was very enlightening for me. Wow. Sugar, butter, and eggs in pastry. Talk about a butt-enlarger. If I’m going to injest that much artery-clog in a dessert, I seriously demand that chocolate be a major part of it.

  192. Poteet
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:07 am [Reply]

    # 190 — Godzooky, this is embarrassing, but Homer does have a certain strange appeal…

  193. True Fable
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:18 am [Reply]

    A3GWhy oh why does Tommie look like Carol Burnett in panel 3?

  194. Skulking on the Outskirts
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    188, Godzooky-Ewwwww. You could use that image as a really effective new form of contraception. I know I’m thoroughly turned off, now.

    P.S. I really like your new name, oh Lizard who trashed Tokyo!

  195. bats :[
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:23 am [Reply]

    188. Godzooky: maybe a t-shirt for the ladies would have Dr. Drew in his patented Bobby Darin stance. After all, he is God’s gift to women! And he’ll tell you so himself.
    That’s just before Mary whups his ass.

  196. Poteet
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    # 193 — Sir Fable MTK, that’s an interesting interpretation. I thought Tommie had topped off her wonderful day with half a dozen little drinkies, and was about to topple over onto Margo’s shoes.

  197. Spiny Norman
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    Another straight woman yields to the coolness of Cassandra and tips her hat to the good nature of Bob Weber! I got the mug! (I can’t get the thong, though. I mean, how could I live up to that? Guy looks at me, looks at CC, looks at me, looks at CC, asks for the URL of Cafe Press, gets out of bed…)

    And I vote, too, for Cups O’ Monkey. Does anyone have dirt on Conley? Compromising pictures with a mandrill, perhaps?

  198. BlueNight
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:27 am [Reply]

    This is the exact inverse of that hideous picture of Cathy in a bikini that looms above the comic book avenue in Universal Studios Orlando’s Islands of Adventure.

    You remember that scene at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark? This is what they saw before they died.

  199. TB Tabby
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Back on the subject of comic snark…today’s Pears Before Swine shows the hostile side of Family Circus fans. I’d advise any Curmudeonites to avoid the Surprise, AZ area for the time being.

  200. bats :[
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    191. Poteet: if you can get butter tarts with raisins, maybe making them with chocolate chips is a possibility. I’ll have to look for a recipe on the net.

    198. BlueNight: that is farkin’ hideous. Yuck. And people still buy ice cream there?

    The Friday Funnies!

    9CL: this is bordering on the Han Solo “stupid conversation anyway.” Le Chat Bleu is a wretched subsitute for Solange.

    PBS: I’ve been to Surprise AZ. (I’ll be driving through there at breakneck speed next Thursday, too.) And yes, it is a place that would have a FC convention. Thank heavens Pastis pokes a pretty sharp stick at the Keanes so we don’t have to.

    FOOB: April, what food doesn’t Elly LOVE? Granted she only likes plain butter tarts, but everything else is fair game.

    MW: looks like Mary’s warming up that Fist o’ Justice. You’re so boned, Drew…

    TDIET: it’s times like this that I almost regret not having kids, so I could’ve named one Wombo. And the other one Hekkie. Wouldn’t matter if they were boys or girls.

  201. Poteet
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:51 am [Reply]

    # 200 — Oh yeah, bats, what a great idea! Let’s name our imaginary TDIET children! (I sure wouldn’t inflict those names on my cats) But we can try to create our own TDIET-type names, right? Hmmm…way too late at night to do this justice…and it’s harder than I thought…Pooey. I’m going to bed and will try again in the morning.

  202. SecretMargo
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:55 am [Reply]

    196: Which would explain why Tommie registers at all — notice the “too” at the end of Margo’s question. Like a rhino who only notices objects when they move, she only notices her roommates’ emotions when they’re as improbable and chemically-induced as hers.

  203. Corwin Haught
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    Not that you are a public corporation or anything like that, but was there a financial arrangement undertaken with Weber?

  204. David McGuire
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    Bob Weber is my role model!

  205. True Fable
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:01 am [Reply]

    thank God they’re Friday snarks!

    Curtis Ray B’s been bringing the funny quite a bit lately, and panel 4 is priceless. Hey, I don’t mind non-snark; actually, I prefer to have funnies that earn their name like this.
    FC Hmm. Having a child with long long fingers but is still has wide as he is tall, and not very tall at that. want PJ to be E.T. when he grows up, Thel?
    FBoFW Do these people do NOTHING ELSE but EAT? Good Lord, America is supposed to be the fattest nation on Earth, but thanks to the Patterson family alone, Canada will overtake the U.S. by the next dinner bell.
    FW You don’t understand why Lisa isn’t fighting this? Maybe because her wrong results took so long it was too late to be effective enough to do any good? Les, what about you? Why didn’t you go after the hospital if Lisa wouldn’t? You don’t have to BE a lawyer to CALL one. Lisa chose to go to Washington and burn up a lot of energy, that was her choice and her way of fighting (and I’ll just leave it alone, won’t argue any longer.) But hey brother, your child still needs you to have your head together so stay out of the bottles.
    Look at me, i’m arguing with a [margo]ing Comic Strip Character. Well why not, Tom Batiuk sure isn’t going to listen to anyone but himself.
    H&L Chip Flagston: say it loud! You’re a nerd and you’re proud!
    JP Sam gets down with his bad self and hands Rusty some … *gasp* PAPERS! Boy, the action just doesn’t stop in this strip, does it?
    MT Mark writes human interest stories because none of his ‘fact-based’ articles have any useful facts in them.
    Big Dog And here I was hoping it was a body count.
    MW Drew, Dawn is too damn CLUELESS to catch on to subtlety. She’s so dense, even if you told her in block letters “I’m breaking up with you”, she’s not going to believe you.
    Moving is your best option. Please. Charterstone will breathe a sigh of relief if you do.
    PBS I love this. I love it, I love it. ‘jeffy is god’ ! LOL!
    RMMD Waitaminnit… Peter took Heather to the… to the Lost Forest’s famed Honeycomb Hideout?!? Waugh! Mashup! MASHUP!
    SFx Hey, I got this one right away, plus the best part of this is seeing Max get beaned with an apple! You can practically hear the springy sound of “Beee-yoingggg!” from the look in his little crossed eyes.
    TDIET Why, Al. You ol’ softie. :-)

  206. SecretMargo
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:09 am [Reply]

    Also, five different comicsare “phoning it in” today. Shockingly, RMMD isn’t one of them! Also shockingly, 9CL probably gets the best use out of the device of the five. Who could have predicted?

    More predictably, Marvin is the most unspeakably lame, and The Phantom is the most confoundingly ridiculous. The more things change…

  207. True Fable
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:10 am [Reply]

    # 201 Poteet, my queen! Am I reading you right? You would name your TDIET child “Pooey”? Well, that’s….novel.

    With a last name like Fable, mine would have to be Laung Draugnout.

    Yeah, I know, but it beats hell out of Lyin’ Little Muther.

  208. True Fable
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:12 am [Reply]

    Phantom The-Ghost-Who-Peeps ?

  209. ben
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:17 am [Reply]

    Cassandra Cat isn’t “D-Less”. D-less-cious, maybe.

    Is it wrong that my feelings towards Cassandra Cat have become sorta post-ironic? Well, obviously, it’s “wrong” in the conventional sense to experience actual lust for a crudely-drawn feline from a children’s comic strip, but … well, but … uhhm … I should just get my credit card out.

  210. BlueNight
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    I remember, oh, about half a year ago, Berke Breathed did an Opus strip where he asked why there were no female anthropomorphized animals in newspaper comics. The answer comes in two parts: Cassandra Cat and Rule 34.

    That’s also why, BTW, Lola Bunny was swiftly dropped from the ranks of the actively marketed Looney Toons. I’m guessing a bit of research was undertaken by Mr. Breathed, at which point he decided not to introduce such a character.

  211. Josh
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:20 am [Reply]

    #203 Corwin Haught — Not that I’m a public corporation, but, short answer: yes, all interested parties are getting a taste.


  212. True Fable
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:30 am [Reply]

    #209 Ben – yeah, don’t fight it. As David Bromberg once sang, Cassandra is a “Bandit in a Bathing Suit” only in this case, you get something tangible.

    “I collect t-shirts” is the “I only read Playboy for the articles” of the ‘Mudgeon Nation Cassandra fans.

  213. SecretMargo
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:34 am [Reply]

    209: I’m totally writing “I think my feelings for you have become post-ironic” on the next valentine I send my sweetie.

  214. TB Tabby
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:35 am [Reply]

    210: Foolish Mr. Breathed. A lack of female subjects won’t stop the self-fulfilling prophecy that is Rule 34.(NSFW in any way, shape or form)

  215. AppleGirl
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:47 am [Reply]

    RMMD – Peter has taken Heather to Dr. Jeff Cory’s house!

  216. Herro!
    August 31st, 2007 at 1:56 am [Reply]

    As a cat lover, I am obligated to consider every comic feline adorable and hilarious. But that cat in FW is creeping me out. Cats just don’t look like that. He looks…awkward, almost, and cats are supposed to look graceful, even if they’re fat and stretched out on the floor soaking up the sun. I almost feel sorry for Le Chat Bleu because his joints seem to be misaligned and his legs are all out of whack. Whereas Shiimsa is a shining star in FOOB, managing to keep her endearing kitten-cuteness even as she grows up, Le Chat Bleu…I just want to take him to the vet to get his limbs and back aligned correctly, then raise him in a loving home so he won’t feel the need to talk to sad wino widowers.

    Maybe I should report Batuik to the ASPCA…

    Also, instead of saying, “…are YOU?” Le Chat Bleu should have said “…are MEW?” and then Sad Wino Widower guy could have smirked.

  217. Mibbitmaker
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:02 am [Reply]

    Thursday’s RMMD: So Rex is just giving up on finding Peter and hostage Heather, eh? He must’ve just had a conversation with Le Chat Bleu (given Friday’s FW)


    JJJ: “Just remember that line later on, Baby, wink!”
    Maria: “Okay, Jonah! ……..What?”

    6 Chix: …oh, thank God! I thought Slim was getting all squirrelly again.

    Peter: “…because it’d be a real shame to be uncomfortable during your last minutes on this earth.”
    Heather: “Yeah, I’d say so! …..What?”

    PC: Wow… impressive, Stantis. Now there‘s your “moment of zen”!

    MT: Getting freaky again! First, Trail’s having a conversation with a pair of coffee cups! Then, both Mark and boss’s son are saying the same thing at the same time! –or, it’s just Mark saying it… and the whole Lost Forrest Lodge actually exists in ’70s-Head’s locks! Whoa!

    MF: Hey… Isn’t that the way conservatives sometimes dress? (At least Mallard conservatives)

    JP: “Mmmmf mf mmmbl rrrfl mmmph” Translation: “Well, if you’d just get those papers out of my mouth, I can carry out my end of the conversation, oaf!”


    Bill: “… which is to end the other summer storyline.”
    Coach: “Yeah, that’d do it, alright! …. What?”

    FW: And that truth is: DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH! DEATH!

    Curtis: It’s true! Curtis’s dad has a “thing” for Ann Coulter.

    A3G: Finally we get some Margo! Okay…. 1st panel…..okay….. 2nd….. sure……. 3rd…. AAAAUUGHHH!!! Stop scaring me like that, Tommie! Jeez!!

  218. C.H.
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    May I so say, congratulations on this merchandising coup.

    The fact that Cassandra coloring here and in the Sunday strips is different from the from the dailies– these farm colorists never get to see the artist’s true intention of what even the most recurring of a given strip’s characters look like?

  219. CrabbyGenes
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    Just crawled down to the computer to say that I have been sick for three days. Chills, fever, aches, pains, no appetite. You’ve probably been through the routine. At least I’m not throwing up, and can eat toast now and then, and drink things.

    Haven’t read much of the previous three threads. Just wanted to say a big THANK YOU!! to the Saturday Pearls Before Swine for making me laugh out loud.

    And now, back to bed.

  220. CrabbyGenes
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    #219 Whoops, guess it’s Friday. You lose track of the days when you are sick.

  221. Spotted HØrse
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    WOW! Of all the hallucinatory moments I’ve had on this site, this may be the giddiest of all. Josh and Mister Bob Weber, I’m gobsmacked!

    Every detail is perfect… hooray!

  222. Herro!
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:33 am [Reply]

    Hope you feel better soon, Crabby!

  223. Obélix
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:38 am [Reply]

    201 – Poteet – But, “Pooey” is a perfect TDIET name! Right up there with Hekkie. (BTW, for what is Hekkie a nickname anyhow? Herkimer?)

  224. KT
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    Hector, I think. Although knowing Al Scaduto, it could just as easily be Herkimer.

    [goes off to order two shirts]

  225. Frank Parsnip
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    Bob Weber Jr. absolutely brilliant what he’s doing with this.

    RMMD: What’s up with Peter’s phrasing: “We’ll be here for a while… make yourself COMFORTABLE.” What the hell? It’s like he’s Commandant Lessard getting a blow job from under the podium. That or perhaps Shannon from Foob.

    Jugs Parker: Arrrggh! Again with cutting out the boobage. They’re simply killing my only reason for looking at this strip.

    MW: Dr. Drew is again suffering from his spontaneous case of Lenojaw… if it weren’t for his bright green suit I wouldn’t even recognize him. The bit of body language used by Mary Worth is interesting — she’s putting her hand up by her mouth, which should be indicating that she’s the one not telling the truth when she comments on Dawn still thinking she’s dating Dr. Drew.

    GT: Say it ain’t so! Kid Ritter is tossing in the towel after his first loss. At the very least, we should honor his effort with a T-shirt showing a thru-the-crotch-view of fightin’ Bill Ritter getting ready to punch.

    History has quite a few, and the Ritmeister would have been in honored company.

    1. Craig Bodzianowski — amputated right leg

    2. Baxter Humby — amputated right arm (appeared in S-M 3 movie)

    A3G: Tommie decided to replace her “Mona Lisa” smile with a freaky giraffe-necked sort of smile.

    Blondie: Social commentary? Wow. On an unrelated matter, the maitre d’ looks ready to milk Mrs. Bumstead. Sorry for mentioning it, but Jugs Parker has left me sorely disappointed over the past couple of days.

    MT: Strange thing is that Mark was right there when all the initial hullabaloo started up — and all this time later, after being scooped by the Lost Forest Bugle, only now does he feel that it’s a “story”. Because if it were up to him and his bird-hating ways, he’d be glad to kick that damn nest over anytime to ensure planes could perhaps someday land at this future shopping center.

    Fuckyou Batuik: “Lisa’s strong enough to face the truth,” said Le Shat Blew, “Are you going to get me some lasagne?”

    9 Dickweed Lane:

    Diane: “Edda, if you were Ingrid Bergman in ‘Casablanca,’ would you let Humphrey Bogart walk off with Claude Rains at the end of the film?”

    Edda: “Actually, I think it was Bogart watching Bergman leave via airplane with her husband. Not sure Berman’s character was being the restrained one there.”

    Diana: “You’re not so stupid.”

  226. Cass
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    If only my own name wasn’t Cassandra. If I ever wore that shirt around anyone who knew me, they’d think I’m declaring myself some kind of egotistical furry.

  227. AppleGirl
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:54 am [Reply]

    I’m only the 200th person to say this, but Bob Weber, you rock my world! I hope we’ve properly expressed what an amazing thing this is for all of us. Yes, you blew our minds!

    Even though the last thing in the world I need is another T-shirt, I simply MUST have an absolutely fabulous Cassandra Cat shirt. I can’t decide which style. The cap sleeve or the spaghetti tank in PINK? (Not sure I’m young enough to pull that one off, but it’s so cute!) Girls, what are you all getting?

    I am NOT going to cop out by getting the mug or mousepad. I want to wear my Weber Luv right out front for all to see! And I DO mean right out front… meow!

  228. Spotted HØrse
    August 31st, 2007 at 2:59 am [Reply]

    TDIET: The sweetest TDIET ever! I hereby vow that when giving gifts to my niece and nephews, I shall emulate Uncle Otto, a prince among men.

    #195 bats :[

    ...maybe a t-shirt for the ladies would have Dr. Drew in his patented Bobby Darin stance.

    bats :[, I think Dr. Drew channeling Bobby Darrin is an excellent choice, especially if Drew's rocking the mom jeans... you know, if it weren't for this site, I wouldn't know to use the phrase "rocking the [sartorial choice].” Butter tarts for all my friends!

  229. Frank Parsnip
    August 31st, 2007 at 3:18 am [Reply]

    I definitely want a Cassandra shirt … and perhaps other merchandise as well. One can only hope that there will eventually be a calendar.

    Further to my thought re: the sad closing out of the GT “Bill Ritter” story line, I think there’s also a shirt to be found. Here’s one thought:

  230. Frank Parsnip
    August 31st, 2007 at 3:24 am [Reply]

    223: Hekkie is probably just a variant on “Hekki” a very common Finnish name. I once went to a party with a bunch of Nokia people and realized quickly that there are something like 4 names in the entire country: Hekki, Markku, Jukka and Jussi.

  231. Anonymous
    August 31st, 2007 at 4:42 am [Reply]

    165, 169 – It is actually possible for CafePress to print a graphic on a colored shirt without the white background. You just have to submit the image as a gif or png with a transparent background. It’s very easy to do in Photoshop.

  232. True Fable
    August 31st, 2007 at 4:47 am [Reply]

    #219 Crabby Genes – I hope you get better soon, Crabby. It sounds terribly familiar and you have my every sympathy. *big comforting hug*
    We’ll keep the snark warm for you, sugar!

  233. Big Sims
    August 31st, 2007 at 6:36 am [Reply]

    #198 BlueNight
    That was, without any doubt, the most terrifying image ever to be posted on the internet. The slender grasp I have on my sanity is slipping, I’m afraid if I ever saw that in real life I would run amok with a machete and slay everyone in reach before I went down in a hail of bullets. You have done an outstanding public service by warning me that this exists and rest assured I will NEVER attend Universal Studios in Orlando, or and other Universal Studios ever*.

    *My kids will just have to get over it. Read a book or something. Why, when I was a boy my father never….

  234. mnemonica
    August 31st, 2007 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    Baldo: Holy cow, the paper’s printed backwards! Or is the back page a pane of glass, and the “real estate” label is actually on the inside cover?

  235. Big Sims
    August 31st, 2007 at 6:42 am [Reply]

    Dear CrabbyGenes
    Get well soon. I have about ten nightshifts coming up and I rely on you and the Roopville Kid to keep me sane!

  236. bup
    August 31st, 2007 at 6:48 am [Reply]

    ~165 – ~170 : You can use images with transparency to have Cafe press ‘not print there.’

    I’ve done it on a t-shirt. They print white as white, transparency as nothing.

    So, in theory, the white space on the outside of the image could be removed, leaving an end-shirt of non-rectangular graphic.

  237. TurtleBoy
    August 31st, 2007 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    Mr. Weber, sir, I’m sure you’ve gotten this from many folks here already, but I just wanted you to know that you have buried the needle on my awesomometer.

  238. True Fable
    August 31st, 2007 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    #235 Big Sims – never fear, mi amigo, we night owls look after each other, no matter the hour!

    I suspect we fear falling asleep to dream that a ginormous plastic Cathy in a bathing suit will chase us on curiously conical legs with impossibly tiny ankles, a melting ice cream cone clutched fiercely in one of her hands and a nasty looking nutcracker firmly grasped in the other. I discovered that carrying a simple mirror will repel this gorgon and keep us all safe.

    The funny papers make each of us Indiana Jones. If all else fails we just pull out the revolver and cap her ass.

  239. Dr. Mabuse
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:22 am [Reply]

    FBOFW – Meatloaf. Wow. Way to make April’s homecoming special! At least the answer wasn’t “Leftovers”.

    And in civilized households, you usually don’t start stuffing down the dessert while supper is cooking in the oven, even if it is only store-bought tarts.

  240. Dub Not Dubya
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:29 am [Reply]

    Mr. Weber, you rock.

    197 Spiny Norman: I went to high school with Darby Conley but didn’t really know him. The only thing I can remember that comes within a mile of being “dirt” was that someone said he had had sex in a swimming pool. No big deal. That aside, I noticed on that you can get GF strips on t-shirts and other merchandise at the GF Cafepress store. So I would guess that it would be fairly easy for them to make that additional t-shirt design available.

    229 Frank Parsnip: Hilarious image! Don’t think it would sell very well, though.

    Dingo: I was thinking about your being cheated out of the victory, and I got an idea that maybe you could pursue. You could make a video of your version of the song, with illustrations of the things that you sing about, and put it up on YouTube. I would think that it would be the kind of thing that could become a viral video for people in Chicagoland and other fans of the city. Creating a YouTube sensation might be pretty good revenge. Anyway, just a suggestion.

  241. Godzooky
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    GT: …And in this corner: Bill “Quitter” Ritter!

  242. Lynngineering
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    #209 ben (and #213 Secret Margo )
    Is it wrong that my feelings towards Cassandra Cat have become sorta post-ironic?

    I don’t think so, if it’s carried here within an ironic post.

    FBOFW: Oh yeah!! The Michael perverse-food cycle of life part of his coma fantasy returns briefly to the forefront, dissing any interest in April’s whole summer, to conclude with the obvious underlying axiom of Michael: I love my MOTHER! MOTHER! MOTHER! (repeat as necessary)

  243. Dub Not Dubya
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:33 am [Reply]

    Oh, I almost forgot. Last night I stopped by my favorite Tim Horton’s as usual (yes, they do have a small presence in parts of the U.S.) and was chatting with one of the clerks there. She told me that her boyfriend told her that sometimes he thinks that he’s actually in a coma and that everything happening to him is just something he’s dreaming up. I cracked up and told her all about CC and Lynngineering’s FOOB coma series. She thought that was pretty cool. Another CC moment.

  244. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    9CL: Edda crotch almost makes up for Cathy crotch in that ice-cream stand picture. Almost.
    Here’s another question… If Cathy were written exactly the same, but drawn like 9CL, what would you think of it? Be honest now. Edda in a diaphanous skirt, pointing skyward and saying “AACK!”… would you really give a damn what was in the dialog balloons?

    A3G: Neither of these people look like the usual Margo or Tommie. Maybe there’s a strike, and these are scab actors.

    FC: Those stubby little snausages are “long fingers?” Maybe in Dick Tracy’s world.

    GT: So, BIll Ritter got what he came for. Which was what, exactly? He never told us why he wanted to box. Maybe he’s one of those guys who gets off on being beat up.

    PBS: This strip rules when it goes meta. I wonder if there ever was an FC convention somewhere? The vendors probably sell a whole lot of porcelain figurines.

    Phantom: Nice jut, Mrs. Uzoma. Or maybe it only looks that way because she’s starving and has an 18-inch waist.

    RMMD: “You’re going to be here for a while, make yourself comfortable…” Isn’t that what you say to a woman after you’ve tied her to a chair? No? Just me? All right, then.

  245. Lynngineering
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    #243 Dub – nice! – only I hope her boyfriend realizes that won’t hold up in a court … or wait, maybe I’m wrong, “walking coma” could be the justification for everything

  246. benro
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:48 am [Reply]

    For you people asking for the latest GF attire, did it occur to any of you to google “monkeywhere”? It points you to this page on cafe press.

  247. benro
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    What I suddenly want today is a “Jeffy is God” t-shirt

  248. Tweeks_Coffee
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:53 am [Reply]

    A3G: Good lord, Tommie looks absolutely loony in that last panel. Did she stop by for a quick hit of blow on her way home?
    DT: Meanwhile…outside the CIA Adventure ride at Disney World…
    FC: What’s up with Billy’s black shirt? Is this marking the beginning of his descent into a goth or emo lifestyle?
    FOOB: Does this family do anything but stuff their faces anymore? This strip also makes it more time spent on April’s return than on her actual vacation.
    PBS: Awesome. Simply awesome.
    Phantom: Thrill as people talk on the phone! Gasp as little girls sit angrily! All this and more, coming up on The Phantom!
    SFx: Slylock moves from busting periodical pilferers to kids playing soccer. By the time he’s done, the entire town will have fallen victim to the ever-seeing eye of Slylock. The bat that’s not anthropomorphised outside of the fact that he can talk and is wearing a pair of shorts is a bit odd to me.

  249. Godzooky
    August 31st, 2007 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    #198 BlueNight & #238 TF: Then again, a bikini-ed woman spreading wide laying in a pool of chocolate syrup atop giant mound of ice cream…not so sure I’d be running away…Um, er, I mean…My eyes, my eyes! (Jeez, has it been that long?)

  250. Lynngineering
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:00 am [Reply]

    FBOFW: Wait a minute, I wasn’t focusing, there’s more to this coma at work than I give credit for. Michael is indeed keeping the thread attached to April’s summer as he powers-up the food cycle:

    First April is told she was a horse’s ass.

    Now back home, whether the family is ready or not, over family dinner April vows she is going to deliver on her experiences, exposing the adult guts within her. But Mom is readied by Michael, she proactively counters, catching April off-guard with the sweet “honey” to deliver her a you-are-what-you-eat analogy: tarts, as in butter tarts. Or dream-wise turned into: her butt tarts, the ingredient that is turning April into one of the Patterson woman….

    …and their accountrement: a horse’s ass

  251. Lynngineering
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:02 am [Reply]

    that is…accoutrement, of course…. no counting necessary.

  252. Godzooky
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Let me get this straight: A mother is deliberately getting a young neighbor boy to peep into her own daughter’s bedroom window? Does he have a view of the bathroom window, also? Don’t want to miss a second, after all.

    S-M: Spidey has one day left to make even a token appearance in his own strip this week. To turn the TV back on, no doubt.

  253. WonderCat
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Is there any way the Cassandra design could go on the Jr ringer T?

  254. Joe
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    FW: I want to pimp-slap that stupid cat and send it tumbling across the counter and onto the floor. That cat looks creepy. Batuik, you suck.

    FOOB: “Oh, here April, here’s some butter-tarts. Now stuff your face like a good little Patterfoob. Gotta work on that rear-end, its too cute. It needs more flab. And I don’t care what you did at the farm, just eat. Don’t think, just eat. EAT. Good girl. And don’t even think of going to school to be a veterinarian, successful careers for Patterfoob women are not allowed. Your brother, St. Michael, married his childhood sweetheart, Dee. Now, she did have a career as a pharmacist, but we took care of that! Got her married and preggers right away, yes-sir-ee. Got her knocked up and strapped down at home, as a Patterfoob woman should be. Her twat is sooo stretched out now, she will never enjoy sex again. Sex is only for making children, honey. Remember, Michael and Dee have only had sex twice. Michael will soon be passed the crown of King Foob, yes-sir-ee. As for your sister, Elizabeth, well, my work is aaaalllllmost done with her. She is going to marry Anthony, her childhood sweetheart, settle down and have kids. Mark my words, she will be preggers the morning after the wedding, so she can give up teaching and wipe baby butts. Just like a good Patterfoob woman should. She will have sex only twice as well. As for you, my dear, sweet April, I already have Gerald picked out for you. But he needs work. I will make sure he’s an even bigger fool than Anthony. When all my children are living across the street from and I have at least two grandchildren in each household, then my work shall be complete……..”

  255. OohShiny
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    I just hope all this hoopla doesn’t end with Cassandra driving her car over a cliff.

  256. Calico
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:34 am [Reply]

    MW – Mary’s been working out on the small bag, and now she’s ready to pop Drew, Kaz-style.

    FOOB – Oh Jeezum – more food.
    Don’t hug each other or anything, just pack your Foobmaws with meat and dairy products.
    Then, April, you can tell your tales of guts, pus, and sutures during the 15th course, and make everyone finally vomit.

  257. Calico
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    3G – Sorry, Margo, no schadenfreude for you today. Guess you’ll have to create a brand new shitstorm somehow in order to satisfy yourself.

    MT – there is a story in the paper now relating Shirley’s powers – has Homer been camping out with the duck all this time?
    Now that’s serious devotion/Borg energy!

  258. Our Boarding House with Major Hoople
    August 31st, 2007 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Those who want a male version of a hunk ‘o lust – Seth from 9CWL. He might be gay. but he’s still studly.

  259. CrabbyGenes
    August 31st, 2007 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    To Herro, True Fable, and Big Sims,
    Thanks much! I am feeling better just now, but who knows if it is the aspirin kicking in, or the fact that I am finally getting better? Time will tell, I guess. Hopefully, you will see more of me on the next thread!

  260. Keg of Curd
    August 31st, 2007 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Bob Weber Jr. fucking rules.

  261. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    August 31st, 2007 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    Is the thread dead? Will I get answered if I post here?

    Bob Weber’s brilliant Cassandra Cat design has convinced me to buy CC merchandise (by which I mean both “Comics Curmudgeon” and “Cassandra Cat”) for the very first time.

    If I wanted to surprise somebody with the women’s T — somebody who’s about 5’9″ or 5’10″, about 140-145 pounds, who generally tends to wear her T-shirts on the snug side, what size should I buy? Small? Medium? Can someone help out a clueless male?

  262. Herro!
    August 31st, 2007 at 10:55 am [Reply]

    Skullturf, I donno if you’ll get this, but I’m 5’6″ and 120, and smalls usually tend to be a little baggy on me but not a whole lot. It’s usually a perfect fit for a t-shirt. the length hits about three inches below the hips. Small might not be so great for a taller, slightly bigger girl, but if she likes them snug, it should do the trick. I’d go medium just to be on the safe side…but then again, many women would just be thrilled that “you think I’m a SMALL? ::squeal!::

  263. Hostrauser
    August 31st, 2007 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    5’9″ and 140 is pretty svelte. I have a female friend who’s 5’9″ and about 155 and wears medium, but CafePress’ sizes run towards the larger end. They list a Small as bust 36″ and length 26″, and a Medium as bust 40″ and length 27″.

  264. Conqueso
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    #258 – Rawr. The fact that he’s gay is just a plus in my book.

  265. Keg of Curd
    August 31st, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    SQB, fwiw I’m male, 5’10″ 140 lbs, and I always get tees in medium and they’re none too big. I’m thinking small would be too small. Too big, you can always shrink it a little anyway.

    I have to say it again: You rock, Bob. You’re the head of the classy.

  266. Joshua
    August 31st, 2007 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    I probably won’t buy one of these, but I’ll have to join everybody else in giving Bob Weber, Jr. mad props for playing along and designing a shirt for Comics Curmudgeon readers. Awesome.

  267. Anonymous
    September 27th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Is there a version where she’s topless?

  268. clippingimages
    January 15th, 2011 at 2:37 am [Reply]

    God job.Thanks to share with us …..

  269. Jamie
    May 5th, 2011 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    I’ve seen this ones on a Universal Studios Vacation Packages, looks great=)

  270. Clipping Path
    June 2nd, 2011 at 3:28 am [Reply]

    Great work! love this blog.

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