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Crappy humor

B.C., 9/26/07

…or like fish, right? Because the whole “tastes like chicken” joke is about exotic animals that people don’t usually eat, you see, and at root it’s based on the fact that chicken is fairly bland, as is most meat from small-ish animals, and it’s just that chicken is the kind of small-ish animal we eat the most. And fish, by contrast, actually have a really distinctive flavor … and he’s eating a fish … and the joke would have worked just as well if the punchline had been “…it sure tastes great” or something along those lines … and … and … AAAAARRRGGGH!

Ahem. To say something nice, I sort of like Clumsy’s crudely drawn but effectively harrowing look of profound horror in the final panel. I also think it’s amusing that Curls has taken his first bite of delectable Dorsellectus Illusivii out of the fish’s head. (Addendum: OH GOD I KNOW THE NAMES OF B.C. CHARACTERS WITHOUT LOOKING THEM UP PLEASE KILL ME NOW)

Hi and Lois, 9/26/07

“Now, Trixie, don’t forget, Daddy and I have decided that you will stay a perfect porcelain doll, untouched by the dangerous rays of the sun throughout your sheltered life. Don’t make me put you in the barrel again!”

Pluggers, 9/26/07

Pluggers … let their children play in feces? Wow, there’s really not much I can add to this one. I would like to point out, though, that cats like to shit in sandboxes generally. Brightly colored sandboxes in the postage-stamp-sized backyards of yuppie-hipster rowhouses in Park Slope; huge, multi-level sand-based environments in the acres behind McMansions in Northern Virginia; or sand-filled tires in the trash-strewn lots of Pluggerville, USA: cats will do their business in any of them. Thus, I can only assume that the poop angle was added here to give someone a perverse thrill. You are sick, sir or madam, sick!

Shoe, 9/26/07

OK, if you’ve worked for a newspaper for years and frequently cover political stories and still don’t know the length of your town’s mayoral term, you no longer get to call yourself “Perfesser.” I don’t care if it’s whimsically misspelled. This sort of thing quite frankly makes me rethink my opinions on media consolidation. If Gannett bought the Treetops Tribune (or whatever the hell it’s called; I’M NOT LOOKING IT UP YOU CAN’T MAKE ME) and outsourced all of the local reporting to a journalism compound in Bangalore, at least those guys would know how to look up the answer on Wikipedia.

233 responses to “Crappy humor”

  1. Alan Vanneman
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Come on, dude! Let’s get back to reality, specifically, Mark Trail, Mary Worth, Apartment 3-G, and Cassandra Cat! The rest is noise!

  2. Mack
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    So has Clumsy just dunked his head in the water for some unknown reason, or is he weeping with joy over the beauty of Fishius roadrunnerancoyotenamius?

  3. Bob
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    First?

    BC: Is that fish evolving in the first panel?

    Shoe: Type in political in first panel.

  4. Hank
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:39 am [Reply]

    FW: Looks like Batuik is channeling Monty Python’s “Dead Parrot” sketch today. Will we hear tomorrow that Lisa is just “pining for the fjords”?

  5. Thomas K. Dye
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    On top of it all, let’s make it obvious that MacNelly’s successors are sloppily using computer lettering. Nice.

  6. poppinjay
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Even worse than a reporter who doesn’t know the basic articles of incorporation of his town, would be a reporter that doesn’t use spell check.

  7. Moon Mullins
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    #2 Mack: Of course there is a reason he has dunked his head underwater. His full name is Clumsy Carp. He is therefore a bottom dweller.

  8. Tom Bondurant
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    H&L: Shouldn’t the sunny outdoors be … I dunno … brighter than the blindingly-white indoors? And not rendered in DuoTone, or whatever you call those grey dots? No wonder she can’t find the sunbeam….

  9. Quiet Mime
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    P: When I was a kid, I was so ugly whenever I played in the sandbox, the cat tried to bury me.

  10. Sal Paradise
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:53 am [Reply]

    GT: Is Cave Spring coached by Magneto?

  11. zenbowl
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    Maybe Pluggers is a complicated system for outing potential child abusers. How many Jim Drivers can there be in Lecompton Kansas?

    Child services, quick, get over there and pull that child out of the poopbox.

  12. Darkefang
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    Blondie: What woman has ever gotten mad for being told she looks younger than she really is?

    DtM: Judging from that look of complete satisfaction on Ruff’s face, I’d say he just took a dump in the bath.

    DT: I’m sure the Capital Building guards won’t find it at all suspicious when they see Gretchen running to the building at full speed, holding an unidentified bag over her head.

    I also like how Dick wanted to stop Gretchen so badly that he caused her helicoptor to crash into a populated area, but not enough to actually chase after her when she survived the crash.

    GT: In Panel two, we finally see Cully Vale in action, as he uses his bare hands to rip the head off another player. I sure hope that guy played for Cave Springs.

    Luann: It looks like those of you who thought TJ was gay were wrong. He’s a pedophile.

    MF: I’m outraged at today’s cheap shot at Teddy Kennedy! How dare Bruce Tinsley portray Kennedy as being sober!

    MT: I’m pretty sure this wasn’t Jack Elrod’s intent, but I find myself empathizing with the evil land developer.

    Phantom: If we’re lucky, maybe once in a lifetime we read something that simultaneously changes our worldview while summarizing our essence as human beings. In that instant, we understand our role in the universe; the meaning of life. For me, this was panel one from Today’s Phantom:

    “Hey! Whadda ya…? I’ll fight all youse midgets.”

    Plugger: Plugger children play in cat feces. Got it.

    RMMD: “That was painless…”

    At least not after Mr. Peak applied the Vaseline…

    Ok, you know what? This is too easy, even for me. I always go for the obvious jokes, but Rex Morgan is making it too simple. The low-hanging fruit is always good for a quick yuk, but this isn’t even slightly challenging anymore, otherwise I’d be making a snarky comment this very moment about how “rainbow trout” is a term used to describe used condoms.

    S-M: Uh-oh, this bit of bad news is almost certainly going to cut into Peter’s TV viewing time.

  13. Charles Brubaker
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    12: Geez, when will this “Bruce Tinsley got arrested for DUI” story die? We get it, he’s drunk!

    I’m beginning to find this tasteless.

  14. Spunde
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    To Pluggers, everything tastes like chicken. Which, in turn, tastes like greasy cornmeal.

    If you’re going to set up a joke with something as silly as a newspaper reporter asking how long a mayoral term is, shouldn’t the punchline at least be, “On average, five years with good behavior.”?

  15. Non-Shannon
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    That plugger child’s reaction makes me think he must have mistaken the cat shit for something else, like a Tootsie Roll, and that it took him a few seconds to realize the truth.
    Let’s just hope he didn’t have a taste first…

  16. BigTed
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    “Okay, Trixie, I’m going to let you stare at the sun one more time today, but that’s it. Trixie? Why do your eyes look so unfocused? It’s almost like. . . you’ve gone blind! Oh, no! Child Protective Services is going to get me this time for sure!”

  17. John Hewitt
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Clumsy puts his head underwater because he studies fish. He’s an INTELLECTUAL!!! Thats why he wears the glasses. Don’t you get it? At least he has a real name, unlike The Fat Chick.

    BTW, Hagar appears to be wandering through a vast desert today. I didn’t realize the Vikings traveled quite that far south. Here’s hoping he runs into Crock out there…and kills him.

  18. Uncle Lumpy
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Shoe — Alas, the name of the paper isn’t on Wikipedia. But it’s on the Official Shoe Site.

    And it’s The Treetops Tattler-Tribune.

    Strangely, having looked that up, I feel better.

  19. Trick
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    I think that’s POLITLCAL. You know, how birds pronounce it.

  20. AtomicDog
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Funky – “Is she…?”

    “No, she’s just pinin’ for the Fijords…”

  21. Plus a constant
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    How do pluggers make a swimming pool? They stand in the crater where their house used to be and fill it with tears.

    How’s that? Is that as depressing than the baby plugger getting toxoplasmosis? Try again?

  22. Tukla in Iowa
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:12 am [Reply]

    @9: When I was a kid, I was so ugly

    Rodney Dangerfield lives!

  23. Sal Paradise
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    MT : The old man is looking in the newspaper for tomorrow’s Mark Trail! This will violate all known laws of physics and time. I predict that the entire universe of Mark Trail will collapse into a singularity.

    Or he’s looking at today’s Mary Worth.

  24. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Plugger children contact Hep C before they enter grade school.

  25. Les
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    Look how coy the perfesser looks in panel 2. Shadowed, somehow suggestive, looking at his boss, asking a question he should already know the answer to. He’s clearly trying to hint at something. Which his boss misses, and tells the wrong joke instead. The proper joke being the one suggested by #14.

    Sally Forth: I must know what is going on with Faye and Hil. Why are we on another plot?

  26. Concrete Queen
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    H&L – Mommy doens’t really care about the blinds. She just doesn’t want Trixie to find out that the world outside is gray and flat, almost like it was…drawn in pencil.

  27. schlimmerkerl
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Plugger cartoonists make effective use of ben-day dot patterns to give their drawings the illusion of depth and realism sadly lacking in actual Pluggers.

  28. JamesinMaine
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    MW: Unaccustomed to ASKING questions regarding future behavior, even rhetorical ones, Mary’s head begins to explode in frame two, as evidenced by her right eye breaking away from the rest of her exquisite head. The good Dr. Cories will be covered in brain goo by Friday — Wednesday of next week at the latest.

  29. UncleJeff
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    True story: a Wisconsin guy was arrested for
    killing and eating endangered sandhill cranes.
    They found a half-eaten crane leg on his dinner
    table when he was arrested.
    Federal game warden: “What does it taste like?”
    Poacher: “Like bald eagle.”

  30. ardee
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    17. HTH. That’s what happens after global warming.

  31. mattt
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    MW Where’s she looking in that last panel? Why does she looked so shocked? Is it because she’s at a loss for meddling? She can’t believe her own words? Because doesn’t she usually just tell people what they should do next?

    S-M Suddenly, he wants to protect the identity. Oh, so he must’ve just nonchalantly jumped into the trees a few weeks ago when he suddenly appeared in his costume and swung off.

  32. Chloe The Cat
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Any CAROLINA Mudges want to meet up Krazy Kat and I are looking for more? gh? willie?

  33. Pammeey
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    Spunde: That’s what I was thinking about Shoe. That could have been a funny joke. If it weren’t Shoe, that is.

  34. JPool
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    For the half-dozen zinesters out there I would like to note that it pleases me enourmously that, especially in the last panel, Clumsy looks a lot like Clutch McBastard’s self-representation. Except, of course, for the hair.

    What’s more striking to me about Shoe is the omenous half-shading of the Perfesser in the second panel. He looks like he should be saying “How many would the mayor serve … you know, if I slaughtered him and roasted his flesh.” Of course then they’d need a new punch line. Something like, “Were you planning on incorporating him into the side dishes too? If you made soup from him, you could probably stretch him to at least a hundred plates, easy.”

  35. Zobes
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Celebrities who sometimes feel the need to recuse themselves from fame’s spotlight could take a lesson from The Phantom. Why hire some expensive PR firm to help you keep a low profile when you might be able to get a bunch of naked pygmies to do it for you for free?

  36. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    If Hi and Lois were responsible parent’s, they wouldn’t leave that shade cord accessible to the little tyke, as it will result in swift and certain death by strangulation. Maybe that’s why they have it.

    BC would be improved by Curls saying “it has that fishy taste”

    Finally, I believe the paper in Shoe is the Treetops Tattler Tribune. And if I’m wrong, it’s because I didn’t look it up.

  37. Steve Sturdevant
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    I looked it up, and you’re right.

  38. Chet McCord, Wildlife Defender
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    parents, not parent’s– of course. Pardon the plugger-like typo

  39. Sal Paradise
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    MW : In the last panel, I think Drew is contemplating beating Mary with a sack full of oranges.

  40. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

    I would love to throw that kid into the sun.

    See how lovley Mr. Sunbeam is NOW, stupid baby.

  41. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    I’m no geologist, but teh googles throw snake-eyes on “Dorsellectus Illusivii.”

    Maybe they got kicked off the ark.

  42. Mountain Mama
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    MW: Oooh, I can just taste the pleasure and evil mixed in Mary’s words today. “What are you going to do now, Drew?” Meanwhile, she’s thinking, “At last, he’s mine! He’ll do whatever I tell him to do. Ha ha ha!”

    MC: Good one!

    JP: Someone please calculate the formula of rate of boredom in relation to beauty of art, please. If JP wasn’t so well-drawn (IMHO), I’d have stopped reading ages ago.

    GT: And then we have Gil Thorp, which is poorly drawn and written, but has an odd batshit insane quality to it that keeps me reading. However, in that second panel, that is no tackle I’ve ever seen in football. I think the aliens slipped and have shown us inadvertently how they’re going to kill us.

  43. Mountain Mama
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    #42, myself: At least I’m polite when I’m being redundant. And I may have spelled inadvertently wrong. Hmmm……

  44. LaVa
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    Oh my god. I am the spawn of pluggers! I had a sandbox made out of an old tractor tire! My cats left surprises in the sandbox! Fortunately, I still turned out OK…. I think. Could it be because I was wise enough not to play in it after I found the little brown sand-coated pellets? Is that enough to ensure my salvation? Please please tell me that’s enough.

  45. Carlo
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    I thought the title of the post was going to refer to fish humor throughout (the fish crappy is pronounced “croppy”).

  46. andreavis
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: Damn, if I could look half as thrilled during an orgasm as Nikki looks talking about rainbow trout, I’d be a very happy woman.

  47. Chloe The Cat
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

    All this time I thought those tires I saw in the neighborhood yards were flower beds…

  48. JongEfong-fong
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    MW – What are you going to do now, Drew? As you can see, Mary, I reach into my hair for some grease and then I go to town and then I get very copacetic.

  49. Galactic Emperor Chennux®™©
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    ATTENTION EARTHERS! ESPECIALLY THOSE PININ’ FOR THE FJORDS! CHENNUX SPEAKS!

    IN HI & LOIS TODAY, CHENNUX APOLOGIZES FOR TEMPORARILY TURNING OFF THE SUN! IT WAS A REGULAR MAINTENANCE THING – THE PHOTOSPHERE WAS GETTING SPOTTY AND THE THERMOSTAT NEEDED RECALIBRATION! THIS SHOULD SOLVE YOUR GLOBAL WARMING THING! HAHA!

    UNFORTUNATELY, THE ARTIST ACCIDENTLY CAPTURED THE DOWNTIME! HIS MEMORY HAS SINCE BEEN ERASED! NEXT TIME, CHENNUX WILL ERASE THE WHOLE STRIP! IF ASKED NICELY! HAHA!

    END TRANSMISSION!

  50. Hip Young Urban Plugger
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    FBoFW: So this week we’re back in the past for a couple of moderately heartwarming moments? But it’s still kind of a flashback? And then maybe we’re going to end up back in the present, like we did last week–except it won’t really be the present, because how can something be called the “present” when there’s a total lack of narrative progression?

    When I read about the new, “timeless” semi-retirement mode of FBoFW, I assumed it would just start being like the other comics on the page where nobody ever ages or changes or graduates from high school. I didn’t expect this kind of bizarre, disorienting, Bil-Keane-meets-Billy-Pilgrim experiment in nonlinear narrative.

  51. Little Guy
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    H&L: “Trixie! Stop {MARGO}ing with the{BOXCAR} shade! Do you want to {SATURN} break it?!!?”

  52. Darkefang
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    #13 – Charles Brubaker

    “Geez, when will this “Bruce Tinsley got arrested for DUI” story die? We get it, he’s drunk!

    I’m beginning to find this tasteless.”

    If you read what I wrote –

    I’m outraged at today’s cheap shot at Teddy Kennedy! How dare Bruce Tinsley portray Kennedy as being sober! –

    you’ll see that I was making a tasteless joke about Ted Kennedy’s drinking.

  53. Zamboni_Rodeo
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    # 32, Chloe: Where and when? I’m a Triangle-based ‘Mudge.

  54. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    Plus a constant (#21) How do pluggers make a swimming pool? They stand in the crater where their house used to be and fill it with tears.

    You made pizza come out my nose. I’m not proud of that, but here we are.

    In other news…

    MW Quiet down, son. If the ball and chain dozes off, I can gnaw my arm off and escape!

    JP Letter of intent…controlling interest…rah blah blah. Since apparently you’ve upgraded to picture-in-picture, maybe you could let us watch something else while you two wrap this up. Perhaps Abbey is doing something underwear-related.

    PS: Speaking of pizza, did any of you Pittsburghers (from yesterthread) ever go to Vinnies?

  55. Chupper
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    32: Where in North Cackalackey are you proposing a MudgeonMeet? (Mudge & Meet? Mudgeon Meat? [tastes like chicken]) I’m in Charlotte…

  56. queek
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    OT: pinging Squid Countess!!!

    I just got my copy of Smithsonian in the mail, and it has an article on deep sea creatures that includes some very funky squid. An example of the “googly-eyed glass squid”:

    http://astore.amazon.com/chemistry-20/detail/0226595668

    and another strange beastie here:
    http://frankwu.livejournal.com/50626.html

    Thought of you when I saw the article. :-D

  57. Gagott68
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    GT: First of all, how does anyone know who is who? Everyone has the same freaking Penn State knock-off uniform.

    Furthermore, if Milford just scored a touchdown and it’s late in the game, why is the Cave Spring coach exhorting his defense to watch the dump off pass and screen? Wouldn’t they be watching their offense try to drive for the win?

    Assuming that is the Cave Spring defensive coordinator addressing the defense, if it is actually late in the game and if Cave Spring drives for the go-ahead score (meaning it will be later in the game), Milford isn’t going to have time for dump off passes and screens.

    If Cave Spring doesn’t take the lead on the next possession, Milford will be trying to grind out the clock with the running game. At least it would if Coach Thorp wasn’t brain dead. Maybe he’s been possessed by the Giant Rising Head of Rich Kotite!

  58. alamo
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    bc — what are you thinking josh? the joke will never work out well. it’s bc!!

    remember?? you can dress up a pig but it is still a pig?? you know? that stuff.

  59. SecretMargo
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    52: Plus, we’ll stop bringing it up when Tinsley stops bringing up Chappaquiddick every time a Republican gets in trouble with the law.

  60. alamo
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    andreavis – just have a simple sex change operation and hang with the doc — as long as you are also a young boy with flying saucer hair who loves to fly fish in the front of an old man’s pants!

    “i thought we were going fly fishing. why are you pulling that worm out of your pants?”

  61. Pozzo
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    To me, the obvious answer to “How long do the mayors serve?” would be “Ten to fifteen, with time off for good behavior.” You see, because “Until they get caught” implies they don’t serve after they get caught. Which may be true, if their lawyer is good enough…

    Oh, hell, make the punchline “…tastes like chicken.”

  62. juggernaut
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    Wouldn’t the little animal (bear? dog? centaur?) actually sniff another animal’s shit, instead of recoiling in horror?

  63. alamo
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    62 — kind of like our being attracted to looking at pluggers instead of recoiling in horror? good point.

  64. Colinski
    September 26th, 2007 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Shoe: “POLITLCAL”!? Is that a font!? It really looks like hand-lettering (some of the same letters look clearly different from each other), but how does one make a typo like that hand-lettering!? That’s just really, really sad.

  65. Lord-z
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    The thing about shoe is, whoever writes it does not care for characters. Sure, he, I am fairly sure that it is a “he”, has given them a name and a design, but other than that, they are on their own. They have absolutely no personality, so they change from strip to strip. Honestly, everyone would be much happier if he just wrote with one-off characters. Offcourse, that would take to much work, coming up with new characterdesigns, and he just can’t be arsed.

    I have high hopes for A3G. In the middle panel, Margo is ready to throw the Margo look-a-like out the window. In the last one, she appeared to have caught the scent of fear, hanging in the air. Probably from Eric. That is the face of a man who knows when his testicles are in grave danger.

  66. Chloe The Cat
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Zamboni_Rodeo go to the forum pages to meetings. or e mail me at carol@selasercenter.com

  67. Chloe The Cat
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    Chupper see comment # 66

  68. SecretMargo
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    64: I think that may actually be a font; all of the “L”s, including the misplaced one, are exactly the same.

    61: You’re absolutely right. And your punchline is effortless and would be 6000 times funnier even if the original wasn’t logically flawed.

    This really does represent yet another nadir for a strip that seems to find new ones so frequently it might as well be running as a third party Presidential candidate.

  69. willethompson
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    MW: MAN QUIZ: You are a medical professional serial dater. In the process of trying to freeze out your ‘young thang’ (reasons for dumping: her hairstyle looks like Red Grange while wearing sweaters with images of boiling kittens), she bitchslapped you in front of your shapeless blonde ice princess who might have given you some second base action a month or two from now. Maybe. Do you:

    a) Call your buddies and have a ‘two-fer good riddance’ bacchanalia at the local titty bar?

    b) Go diving in to the nurse pool at Santa Royale General and seeing what you can come up with in your teeth?

    c) Tell the gory details of your humiliation to your father as he lounges with his arm around a mummy-skinned harpy busybody whose first words to you will be “I TOLD YOU SO, you sorry sack of bat guano!” as she roasts you like an ant under a magnifying glass.

    If you said ‘c,’ you are fired. No, there is no two-week notice. Just leave your testicles at the door and don’t let it hit you on your pink-thonged ass on the way out. If anyone ever asks, we’ll just say you tasted like chicken. Wuss.

  70. gh
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Yesterthread #245 Moon Mullins –

    Re I(?)GT:

    Panel two: If anyone can tell me what the hell is going on here I will give them a dollar.

    Look. “A hard-fought game nears its end” isn’t enough of a clue? It’s charades! The topic is “Movies.” The two players in the front are going for the classic Nicolas Roeg thriller, Don’t Look Now, hence the “peek-a-boo” action. The player in the back drew Tora! Tora! Tora! and is imitating a kamikaze pilot. How hard is that? Now, pay up.

    #252 nsr –

    You didn’t offer to pay for an explanation, but a gentleman (or lady) would chip in 50¢. You two can work out the arrangements.

    And someone else out there still owes me a dollar for locating the original use of [Margo] by a commenter. Tipping waitresses adds up, you know.

  71. kat
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    Ew. I think Drew’s hand is on Mary’s knee and that’s why her eyes have disappeared. At least, that’s why my eyes have disappeared.

  72. Mountain Mama
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    SPOI: Vinnie’s! A Pittsburgh institution. I think I was only there once, but that was the place my office always used to order from.

    I’m getting so homesick. Can’t wait to get back in November.

  73. Buck Ripsnort
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    The dangers of letting kids play on/in toxic used tires have been mentioned before; but although my old man put me in a regulation, non-Plugger WOOD sandbox, he still had the bad sense to put it under a Mimosa tree. Shady, yes, but you never get just one Mimosa tree. Damned things throw out seeds like a dog sheds fur. The sandbox was a garden in two years.

  74. Buck Ripsnort
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    Clumsy Carp’s predisposition for sticking his head underwater and watching for the Dorsellectus Illusivii were a running gag when Hart was alive; if only the new regime would mention his knack for “water balls”, I’d forgive them a lot.

  75. B
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

    I can’t believe I’m about to do this, but I’m actually going to defend BC today. If Curls eats the rare and beautiful fish because it tastes delicious, that’s at least a valid reason, but if he’s eating it even though it tastes like ordinary chicken, then he’s doing it for pure spite.

  76. yellojkt
    September 26th, 2007 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Josh,
    You don’t know the name of the Treetop Tattler but you can tell Curls from BC from Peter. You’re so cute when you pretend to have pride.

  77. Edward
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    re: Shoe (heh, lame horse joke)

    I work with people located in Bangalore and they kind of refuse to become familiar with basic US geography. Tuscon, New England, Delaware Valley… it is all the same to them. It is almost a point of pride to them that they can interract verbally with US employees, yet maintain a 15th century world view.

  78. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    Baby Blues:

    Was it weird of me to immediately jump to the conclusion that his number two goal in life is to poop out a tennis ball?

  79. Korvo
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Gang, isn’t anyone else terrified?! Margo is just about to go on a killing spree!!!

    Well, either that or Eric will somehow transcend his role as generic blond love interest, grow some balls and eject Margo from his life.

    THEN a killing spree!

    In other news, I’m a little scared to note how much I follow A3G and MW these days. Damn you, Curmudgeon!

  80. Pozzo
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    For the record, Hart was using “Dorsellectus Illusivii” as the fish Clumsy would look for in his aquatic searches (always accomplished by dunking his head) since at least the early ’70s, when I first read the strip. Nice to see Zombie BC, Inc. is keeping the continuity intact.

  81. Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    Re Shoe: Plus, a better punchline would have been along the lines of “Depends on the judge” or the like. Cuz, you know, the guy assumed Perfesser meant “served time” cuz assuming the mayor was a criminal… Oh never mind.

    Speaking of unamusingly whimsical misspellings, there used to be a bar vaguely near UW-Milwaukee whose owners evidently thought it would be funny to call it “The Barfesser.” I rather doubt any professor ever set foot in the place – the pun was in fact more aptly on the first four letters of the name than the first three, given its typical clientele of low-end alcoholics and horribly misguided underage students.

  82. Lettuce
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    Fixed this for you Brookins: “A tractor tire makes a swell plugger sandbox. Unfortunately it also serves as ground Zero for the local Plugger cancer cluster.”

  83. Little Guy
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:34 pm [Reply]

    Baldo: Yeah for righteous intimidation! Show that culturally backward waitress a thing or two with your masculine glare!

  84. odinthor
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    MW — Hmm. Let’s see. What are Drew’s options at this point…?…

    (a) Seppuku. (It could be that coming clean with Mary about his dating habits is a non-physical form of seppuku. A panel of experts should be convened.)

    (b) Find an available woman from another strip. Mary Lou of Momma is undoubtedly available. Lila from The Meaning of Lila is habitually available, and is perhaps a more promising squeeze than Mary Lou. The girls in Apt. 3-G–well, no, Drew, you had better avoid serial strips for a while. Marty Links’ teen Emmy Lou hasn’t had any action in quite some time, and might be as stupid as Dawn eager to get to know a “mature” man.

    (c) Find an available man from another strip. The ever perky Boyd from The Meaning of Lila is perpetually dateless despite his amiable cynicism, so you might have a chance there. I’m afraid Brad and T.J. are out–so to speak–unless notions of a threesome occur to them; and Rex is probably too distracted with teaching Niki about fly-fishing and how to hook. If you’re into stripey undies, maybe The Ghost Who Doesn’t Get Much would be accommodating.

    (d) Find an available animal from another strip. Well, here the possibilities in Comicland are endless; but for this kind of activity you’d have to go underground and hobnob with some pretty skanky characters.

    (e) Become a character in one of the chaste comics. It may at first be alarming to contemplate joining Grin and Bear It or Mr. Boffo; but think of the positive aspects: Less work (one panel instead of three), no continuing story line to keep track of, the laid-back ease of sketchy art…

    OK, Drew, that’s about the best I can do for you, bud. About my only other advice is to lose the mega-dork wardrobe. You might want to talk to Zippy for clothing tips.

  85. Anonymous
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    #77 Edward –

    Re 15th century world view, I imagine there are more than few Americans who couldn’t tell the difference between Mumbai and Mombassa, and would also see that as a point of pride.

    And it’s Tucson, not Tuscon.

  86. Lettuce
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    I just wish, somehow, I could sneak into one of these old FOOB strips and make Farley or baby Liz or someone step on a butterfly, or maul Lawrence, or sneeze in such a way to set off a sequence of random chaotic events that culminates in Anthony’s botched circumcision and subsequent raising as a zoo chimp.

    Then, when Lynn returns to the present since she’s bored and sincerely needs to prove everyone wrong, she’ll find the Modern Day FOOBs completely changed! Maybe Michael is now a modest shoe salesman. Liz tours with Rush. April doesn’t exist, thus leading Shan.non and Becky to have to sit around pretending their lives contain drama. Shawna-Marie can have a wedding unmarred by Mustache-kiss.

    True, this alternative present might be no better than the one we’ve just seen fade away. But there’s no way it could be worse.

  87. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Mountain Mama (#72) Vinnie’s! A Pittsburgh institution. I think I was only there once

    Alas, once is all it takes. As they say, a vinniepie stays in with you forever. Sort of like the Videodrome of pizzas.

    Is Vincent still alive? I was there years ago when I was an undergrad at Pitt. He’d be in the back sitting on a stool and flipping pies, chatting up one of the waitress babes. There were toppings all over the kitchen, like a farm exploded. And the ever-present cigarette hanging off his lip. It was considered an honor if he ashed in your pie.

    On the way out we’d buy a case of Iron City, drink it in the parking lot and then throw the empties off the Westinghouse bridge.

    Ah, good times. Or not.

  88. Mountain Mama
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

    #77–Edward, it may be possible that they have no concept of how large the USA really is.

    My in-laws have great friends that live in England. The first time they were getting ready to visit here, they told my MIL their plans. They were going to rent an RV after they got to Phoenix. Then, they would go to the Grand Canyon, Disneyland, San Diego and perhaps down to Mexico, then back to Phoenix. In something like a week.

    My MIL gently explained that agenda wasn’t possible in the time allotted. After they got here and reviewed everything, they agreed that seeing just the Grand Canyon would be the best arrangement.

  89. Sans Sense
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    If BC keeps up the continuity do we have to hear Wiley talk about how much he hates water (presumeably since it’s not alcohol)?

  90. Mountain Mama
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    SPOI (yes, I’m HTML deficient): I have to admit I have no idea if the original Vinnie is still around, but yes, the cigarette ashes just make everything taste better. Mixes well with the grease.

    Grease: a food group in western PA. And I say that with love.

  91. willethompson
    September 26th, 2007 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

    #85 Anonymous: Uh, Mister Pedant Patrol? Are you still with us? I thought you had been cockpitted lo these many months ago…

    #87 SPOI: Vinnie’s was the “Videodrome of pizzas?” You mean you could tie Deborah Harry to a post and whip her? Now, THAT’S what I call a ‘topping.’

  92. Dingo
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Sacre bleu! No one cared for Dancin’ Drew?

  93. bats :[
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    62. juggernaut: …and then roll around in it, for good measure?

  94. Pedant Patrol
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    #91 willethompson –

    Don’t get me started. Josh reduced my rank to Anonymous, but let me back on the beat.

  95. Helena Handbasket
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    #78: Well, it is his “Number 2″ goal, after all.

    #79: I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m actively looking forward to the forthcoming killing spree.

  96. The Divine O’F
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Dingo: Dancin’ Drew is awesome!

    gh: Excellent analysis of I?GT as a multi-player Charades game.

  97. willethompson
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    Dingo, I stand chagrined for not giving a superior piece of animation a salute worthy of its magnificence. Everyone, if you haven’t, please click on Dancin’ Drew! The shrugs alone are worth the two-drink minimum.

  98. gh
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    #92 Dingo –

    I, for one, loved it, but I’m still fanning myself over Vera’s cliff-dive. Slow down, my man!

  99. Tim T.
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    #41 SmartPeopleOn Ice: I think that’s the “illusivii” part…
    Best wishes to all CCers.

  100. Hysterical Woman
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    Prickly City: But if it weren’t for humans, whose trash cans would you knock over?
    9CL: She then goes on to take over the world with her superhuman pushing skills.
    Blondie: How dare you think I’m a young woman! I’m an old hag! (Also coloring mistake: the blanket is boy blue)
    Crock: A CANNONBALL! MARGO!
    Luann: TJ wants to serve all the fire stations. Does he have the stamina for that?
    Tank: I love the last panel.

  101. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    willethompson (#91) Actually, I was thinking more of the gun becoming part of James Woods, a feeling anyone who has allowed a vinniepie to get inside them knows well.

    Long live the new flesh.

  102. Lucy’s Spunk
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    #84 Odinthor: You can add Les Moore to option C. He’s going to be free and single very soon.

  103. Ribinin
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    #90 Mountain Mama It must be one of those regional differences. We just call it “fat”.

    The basic food groups are of course fat, sugar, salt, alcohol and drugs (primarily caffeine).

  104. Flealick
    September 26th, 2007 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

    I do believe this LOLcat was inspired by recent Mark Trail events.

  105. JamesinMaine
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    When Mark Trail meets real life (only click if you can withstand the horror of a duck decapitation story):
    http://dailycamera.com/news/2007/sep/26/accused-duck-slayer-a-federal-employee/

  106. Dariaclone
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    No. 29, Uncle Jeff. Not to nitpick a joke, but only one subspecies of sandhill cranes is endangered. “Sandhill Cranes are the most abundant of the world’s cranes.” http://www.savingcranes.org/species/sandhill.cfm Of the rest, there are plenty. Whooping cranes, now that’s another story.

    I grew up at the hourglass smallest point of sandhill crane migration (is there a technical geometry term for that?). I never appreciated it then.

  107. Jenny
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Hey yinz! (Actually I never say that.) Pittsburgher here just de-lurking to say hi ‘n at.

  108. Mountain Mama
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    Grease, salt, sugar, beer, caffeine. I’m cool with that.

    Lovin’ all the Pittsburgh love goin’ around. Hi, Jenny! I picked up “an’ ‘at” during my Pittsburgh residency and still use it.

  109. PeteJayhawk
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    The funny thing about today’s Pluggers is that a shit-filled tractor tire pretty much sums up Lecompton, KS (Kansas’ First Territorial Capital!) in a nutshell.

  110. Bootsy
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    Dingo, I loved Dancin’ Drew! I also spent time making Dawn slap him, just for good measure. That arm of hers came right off a Gil Thorpian, and I am not talking metaphorically. I think she actually ripped it off of who? Hmm. Bill Ritter? He already lost a leg A one armed, one legged right tackle/boxer/chainsaw wielder is just the ticket.

  111. Josh
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    #108 — My own personal favorite Pittsburgism, which my wife sometimes uses only half ironically, is “nebby” (which means nosey, more or less).

    Josh

  112. True Fable
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    # 92 Dingo – Awww…! You even helped Dancin’ Drew re-create the liddle pudgy belly, too!

    I loved it, man, although when I clicked on it last night at work, my sound was up all the way and if security had walked by right then, they would have busted in expecting a hoochie party.

    Yeah, like we don’t use the linen closets for that. :D

  113. gh
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    #96 The Divine O’F –

    I forgot you’re a big charades fan! I wasn’t sure about the two guys in front because it could have been Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia.

  114. Llarry
    September 26th, 2007 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    New Adventures of Queen Victoria: Pab strikes again, hitting MW *and* FW…

    http://www.gocomics.com/thenewadventuresofqueenvictoria/2007/09/26/

  115. Rusty
    September 26th, 2007 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    MW: What will I do now, Mary? I’ll go down to the local watering hole, mention I’m an MD to some tipsy hottie, bring her home and have hours of glorious yet meaningless sexual relations until I cannot remember the names of Dawn and Vera. Now get out of my way.

  116. Mountain Mama
    September 26th, 2007 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    FW: Was anyone else also disturbed by the fact that it seems Lisa’s and/or Les’ parents are JUST NOW showing up in this? Were they around when she went through cancer last time?

    Josh: I remember one girl in grade school that would say “nebby” and that’s how I knew that Pittsburgh term.

  117. Ces
    September 26th, 2007 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    #25: “Sally Forth: I must know what is going on with Faye and Hil. Why are we on another plot?”

    Patience, Les. The Grandma and Hil-Faye plots will soon converge…with sexy results!

    No, wait. That didn’t come out right.

  118. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    September 26th, 2007 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    Francesco Marciuliano @ 117 wrote:

    The Grandma and Hil-Faye plots will soon converge…with sexy results! No, wait. That didn’t come out right.

    Neither did Hil! Bada-bing! Ohhhh-h-h-h yea-a-a-a-ah!

  119. Les
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    117: I recall Faye and Grandma admiring each other’s style. Still, I can’t imagine Faye ditching Hil for her grannie, that’s just TOO shocking (even for Sally Forth). Perhaps Grandma will offer romance advice to one of them, thus leading them together.

    On the other hand, I can’t imagine /what/ she would offer for romance advice, except a series of backhanded insults at Ted. Funny, but troubling for the Forth family. Hil will regret her subject change when talking to her mom. Ted will give up on whatever effort he put into job searching (seems like more as of late, given that he looks showered and whatnot) and just take up heavy drinking. Before you know it, he’ll also be talking to french-named cats. Who will insult him.

    But seriously, if my spouse just up and announced that any of her family members were coming to stay for an indeterminate amount of time, I’d be dividing up the CDs and calling a lawyer. And I LIKE my in-laws. Marriages are not ruled by fiat, even with a sole breadwinner. If Ted doesn’t put a stop to it. Grandma will be right about him. He IS a Feminine-Mystique-style trapped house wife. (Maybe he will go on to embrace consciousness raising?)

  120. Josh
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    #119 Les-

    Commentors on this site construct sentences never before seen in the English language all the time, but “that’s just TOO shocking (even for Sally Forth)” is a particularly wonderful example.

    Josh

  121. ElSanto
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

    Whoa. In panel #2 of Shoe, it looks like the Perfesser is planning something … evil.

  122. Gagott68
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

    Peanuts: Mort Sahl?!?!? Talk about expecting kids to jump in the Way-Back Machine® to get a punch line. That goes back even farther than Lenny Bruce.

  123. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, that Mort Sahl reference in Peanuts is amusingly dated now. As we know, there’s nothing today’s kids enjoy more than a Mort Sahl reference. Why not make some jokes about Edsels and Cassius Clay while you’re at it?

  124. Kate
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    #123: Sometimes I murmur “Bronson Alcott!” to myself and then giggle at my own wit.

  125. Kate
    September 26th, 2007 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    #77, I work with people in Bangalore all the time too. My crowd knows more about US geography than I do.

  126. Mountain Mama
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    Wille, Uncle Lumpy, and other word-lovers: have any of you been to this site? http://www.worldwidewords.org/index.htm

  127. Sans Sense
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    Yer Mom moves in here and I become the Felix to Ralph’s Oscar biotch!

  128. XK
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    #77, #88. Isn’t it rather unreasonable to hold Indians to American standards of American geography? That is, unless #77′s line of work is, say, mapmaking. I don’t think I could point out any of Tucson, New England or Delaware Valley on a map, and I don’t feel particularly ignorant because of that. (I’ll concede that geography isn’t my strong point, though.) I’m pretty happy if someone unfamiliar with my country can even find it on a world map. (I’m exaggerating, but it’s a small country.)

    The USA is not actually all that large; by area, it’s about three times larger than India. (By population, India is more than three times larger.) I suspect that the average Indian can name more than three U.S. cities/states for every Indian city/province the average American could name. (That’s not meant as an invocation of the trite “Americans are stupid” stereotype, by the way, just “American popular culture is influential”.)

  129. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    Was Clumsy Carp’s hair always this shaggy? It covers his ears, and looks a little “off” somehow.

  130. Sans Sense
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    Notice the “Smack Smack” sound instead of the usual fish head “Crunch Squish”? My kids have chicken nuggets shaped like animals including fish. Good one Curls, way to get Clumsy Carp to go McCauley Caulkin on ya.

  131. commodorejohn
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    You know what? It’s just occurred to me that nobody, myself included, has in either this thread or the previous one made a “Fish Heads” joke in reference to today’s ZomB.C. This is a grievous oversight I wish I had corrected sooner.

  132. Wondergecko
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

    Does that say ‘POLITICAL’ or “POLITLCAL’??

  133. Ukulele Ike
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    123: Didn’t they recently repeat that weird “Peanuts” recently where Linus mentions that he’s been dreaming about Hyannisport?

    That mystified me as far back as 1972.

  134. Ukulele Ike
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:48 pm [Reply]

    Shout-out to Diesel Sweeties: Whoa….and actual PLOT-THING is going on! The Shaved-Head-Afro-Canadian Guy is being deported back to Canada, and he’s admitting to Clango Cyclotron that he’s had a YEARS-LONG CRUSH ON MAURA!!!

    Will SHACG pledge his troth on bended knee? Will Clango crush SHACG’s skull between his mighty steel claws? Stay tuned!

    (Also, Maura’s last name is “Glee.” Considering she’s a retired porn actress/producer, I think that’s just great)

  135. redscorpse
    September 26th, 2007 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

    that plugger kid looks like he was going in for what he supposed to be a new toy. once he realizes OH GOD. NOT A TOY. NOT A TOY, the look on his face says that he has realized the hell in which he is being raised and as soon as he can, he’s getting out of this shitbox (pun intended).

  136. Braniff
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    While not an exact reference to the office of mayor, this Shoe comic strip hit was on the mark in regards to current events, as far as politics go in West Des Moines, Iowa (where I live). Today, one of the members of our city council announced that he was resigning after being charged with a misdemeanor and a felony. His residency had also been called into question (council members who represent a section of a city have to live there, by state law).

  137. Anna Nimity
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:07 pm [Reply]

    Dingo: Very late in coming to the table… Dancin’ Drew was AWESOME! Got me up and dancin.’ Wait. Did I just admit to dancing with a comic character? Uh oh…scary implications…

  138. BrianC
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:12 pm [Reply]

    Dennis the Menace: Judging by Mom’s horrified look, and the leacherous expression on “Ruff”‘s face, that’s more likely some drifter Dennis is bathing with.

  139. Hot to Trotsky
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    131:
    Fish heads, fish heads
    rolly polly fish heads
    fish heads, fish heads
    eat them up, yum

    I took my fish head to see a movie
    didn’t have to pay to let him in

  140. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

    Today’s xkcd is pretty silly, but when has that ever stopped us from posting something?

  141. commodorejohn
    September 26th, 2007 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    #139 Hot to Trotsky – They can’t play baseball, they don’t wear sweaters, they’re not good dancers, they don’t play drums.

  142. Hot to Trotsky
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    141:
    rolly polly fish heads are never seen
    drinking cappacinno in Italian restaurants
    with Oriental women

    (and I’m misspelling roly poly, aren’t I?)

  143. Different Dan
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    TDIET made me laugh out loud today.

  144. commodorejohn
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    #142 Hot to Trotsky – I’m not sure there is an agreed-upon spelling.

  145. Sophist, FCD
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or is cave springs coached by Grampa Munster?

  146. Hot to Trotsky
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

    #144: You must excuse me now. I’m going to see if I can find my old Barnes & Barnes records and drink a bottle of 18 year old Glenfiddich.

  147. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:33 pm [Reply]

    #141 commodorejohn — for a brief moment, I honestly thought you were talking about the characters in Gil Thorp.

  148. Ribinin
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

    Can anybody tell be the link to the ticket stub generator site? I lost my collection of Gail Martin ticket stubs and need to re-create them.

    I am a big fan, it goes without saying since most of us are, and I want to show the love and add a link to the Gail Martin Wiki on my website.

  149. Tabby
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    Dingo, that was the only funny thing I’ve ever seen in MW. You, sir, are an artist!

    Ribinin, I bookmarked that thing – too much fun for many kid related things:

    http://www.says-it.com/concertticket/index.php

  150. Ribinin
    September 26th, 2007 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

    Wow! Tabby, thank you so much!

  151. AppleGirl
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – Josh, you are so right about cats and sand–ANY sand. True story from my real life: My old house backed onto the Newport Beach Country Club, DAH-LING. Very hoi polloi. Anyway, every day my cat used the bunker on the 16th as his litterbox. Great for me, no messy litterbox in the house. But not so good for the Toshiba Classic, when some player hit his shot out of the sand, only to have his ball redirected by a hidden cat-landmine, which also went flying through the air. On national television, no less! My cat became an indoor kitty shortly afterward.

  152. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    Ribinin, that site is great! I think we should put up a bunch of tickets to share our Gailsperience. I made one for her July 7 show at Milford’s famous Music Hall Auditorium (which, as you know, is just across the street from Cafe) and posted it on the Fan Memories page. Why don’t you put yours on the front page?

  153. Tabby
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    Perhaps a cinder block & a piece of plywood and you could have a Plugger’s sandbox cover?

  154. Karl
    September 26th, 2007 at 10:38 pm [Reply]

    MW – I think we all know what Dr. Drew is thinking as he examines his half flexed bicep in panel two: “Can this arm take any more needles, or am I just going to have to smoke it?”

  155. Poteet
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

    BC — Please pardon if this has been said (I haven’t had time to skim all the comments) but I immediately interpreted today’s BC as one of those terribly amusing jokes about endangered species. My sense of humor on that topic has been eroded down to nothing, since I used to be a volunteer conservation lobbyist and heard plenty of those jokes whenever a bill came up that might actually provide some small protection to some endangered plant, for example (“bwahaha, you wanna save WEEDS?!!”) Anyway, this strip seems quite consistent with the general philosophy of BC as expressed over the last twenty years. Rant over, sorry.

  156. dreadedcandiru2
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    Funky EstrangedBean: I’ve been far too disturbed by the main character’s refusal to show emotions to post of late. That being said, we’ll finally get to see people do something other than smirk like this is traffic court of something. Lisa’s parents, who haven’t really been part of her life since the whole ‘How-could-you-do-this-to-us’ thing showed up at one of the last possible seconds to say good-bye to their child. Their emotions? Horror, elicited by her condition and Guilt, for letting their prideget in the way. As it stands, they’ll have the rest of their lives to regret their folly, no matter how much out-of-body Lisa says it’s all right, thet she forgives them.

  157. Moon Mullins
    September 26th, 2007 at 11:58 pm [Reply]


    Thurs RMMD:

    Good grief, this pedophile code talk thing just gets worse and worse. First off, hmmm…. a weekend alone in the mountains. Could that be “Brokeback Mountain?”
    (say in Church Lady ‘Satan?’ voice for full effect.)

    Then, starfish-head says he’ll need to break his date with Britney Spears. This code means either:

    1) He’s showing Rex that he is into men, because unlike hetero kids his age, who might name a young hottie like Jessica Alba as a ridiculously-out-of-league subjunctive-tense joke “date,” he picks the only lady he’s heard of who’s supposed to be attractive. Of course, no kid his age would really think Britney Spears is hot; most tweener boys must think she is a prematurely-aging overweight drugged-out no-talent gasbag who wears too much makeup and can’t even make a pantiesless crotch shot enticing.

    2) He really does have a date with “Britney Spears,” or rather the transvestite who plays her during the dinner show at Finnochio’s.

    Either way, he’s letting Rex know he’s in like Flynn.

  158. kurt
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    Josh et all, you might want to check out SALLY FORTH for today… it implies some very decadent activity where somebody (woman or man) __may get bumped off___ !! .

  159. Poteet
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    DT — Okay, NOW I’m in ecstacy. I personally think that KA THUNG is the greatest explosion noise ever invented. I plan to use it at every opportunity. Now I’m trying to think of a likely opportunity. Hmmm…I almost set the kitchen on fire two nights ago because I came down to check on CC and forgot I was broiling fish, so now I’ve decided that the burning fish were going “KA THUNG!” Okay, so it wasn’t an explosion, exactly, but the glorious thing about “KA THUNG” is that it’s so versatile. I plan to go around yelling it after the next election.

  160. Trixie Belden
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:12 am [Reply]

    # 155 Poteet – Preach it, sister! Yes, that’s supposed to be the “joke”. “Oh those intellectuals, gettin’ all goofy over animals and plants. Why those things are supposed to get used up! That’s what they’re there for!”

  161. Frank Parsnip
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    A3G: Eric tells Margo to “amuse herself”, hoping that it will involve him returning to a hot and horny BBQ date. Instead, Margo is more likely to take the contents of a less-dainty orifice and smear them all over the walls of his apartment.

    MW: Or, even better, Dr. Drew can apologize to both Dawn and Vera and ask both of them for a second chance. It would be easy since they live so close to each other at Charterstone.

    MT: More continuing dominance of the color blue in Mark Trail today.

    Fred Thompson: “Hey, that stunt you pulled with saving the duck cost us a bunch of money!”

    Son: “Don’t you get it, Dad? That duck’s got you all over the headlines! You helped save a duck and its nest from floodwaters, and that makes you a true blue hero.

    voiceover: “Brought to you by the campaign to elect the color blue.”

    bluescreen: “I’m the color blue, and I support this message.”

    RMMD: Zapruder-style analysis of the panels:

    Panel 1: Niki’s playing along, knowing that no matter where the “Williams River” is, he’s probably only going to see the inside walls of The Enchanted Hunter motor lodge somewhere upstate. Rex is playing up the secluded nature of the destination — they’ll be surrounded by mountains.

    Panel 2: Rex offers to “check the place out”, not to actually fish there. After all, on his fishing trips he always returns with store-bought fish and a bunch of fishing stories. Unlike those who actually fish and then tell stories that exaggerate the size of the fish or the difficulty of the fight… Rex’s completely whacked stories are those in which he simply says: “Yes, June, I went fishing again.”

    Panel 3: Niki makes it clear that Rex is going to have to negotiate further with his mom to get this extra time. However, to soften this allusion to the money side of the biz, he shows a bit of eagerness by saying that even if he had a date with a fat white-trash celebrity struggling with personal demons he would give all that up to work on Rex’s trouser snake.

    Beatle Bailey: Otto can now fly. This is going to get really effed up.

    H&L: The correct way to have kids asking about the origins of color photography has already been done to perfection by Watterson, leaving this as a pale shell of a joke.

    DT: I like the guy telling Dick Tracy that he “can’t shoot”. Yeah, you suck. You can’t shoot. Dick tries to shoot anyways and apparently hits either the bomb or Marine One. By the way, there’s nothing that signifies America for me quite like the Rotunda. Yes, the good ol’ Rotunda. When I think of ways by which Osama Bin Laden might strike at the U.S., I imagine him going in there with a great big dirty bomb full of diapers and other stuff and letting it off in the Rotunda. Because the Rotunda is such a visible sign of America’s power — featured prominently on the Quarter and the $5 bill, the Rotunda is where things are at.

    Jugs Parker: Continuing their stroll across the vast veldts of the vineyard with nary a grape in sight, Sam tries to play the “Flattop McMullet and Trudi McSweatermeat are my good friends” bit for all its worth: Bupkiss.

  162. Darkefang
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:26 am [Reply]

    #160 -

    I take it the Hart family belongs to one of those sects of Protestantism that believe it’s a sin for any natural resources to be left on Earth at the time of the rapture?

  163. Dingo
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    I’m sorry, so so sorry, but from that angle it looks like Drew interrupted his father fingering Mary Worth’s delicate unmentionable during a Billy Graham crusade. And Drew knows there’s something fishy in the air — what with his father’s pointed finger — because in panel 2 he’s clutching the photo of his dear departed mother.

    Mary Worth may move at a glacial pace but it befits the cold, cool iciness of what should be her heart.

  164. Poteet
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:43 am [Reply]

    # 160 — Yes, Trixie, exactly. Thank you. And in your mystery-solving incarnation, I’m sure you would have adroitly nabbed a rare-plant poacher or two if opportunity had arisen.

  165. Poteet
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    RMMD — This storyline is totally ruining the image of fly-fishing for me, and the relentless snarking on the theme is NOT HELPING:-).

  166. Ribinin
    September 27th, 2007 at 1:13 am [Reply]

    JP As a Napan myself, I would like to point out the sylvan vistas that the Napa Valley offers with nary a grapevine in sight. The link is to a picture taken from the front door of a winery.

  167. Anonymous
    September 27th, 2007 at 1:19 am [Reply]

    Where is Grok? He seems to have been disappeared, largely, from the strip, no doubt because of his very existence calls into question all of the bible.

  168. Skulking on the Outskirts
    September 27th, 2007 at 1:37 am [Reply]

    # 49 – That’s our beloved Emperor, always watching out for us. Hail Chennux!

  169. Mibbitmaker
    September 27th, 2007 at 1:39 am [Reply]

    Earl/Office Day:

    FOOB: Lynn: “HEY! How did THAT one get through??”

    FW: Okay, this is getting weird. Depressingly weird.

    A3G: Meaning: “Amuse yourself with your thumbs up you-know-where. No, not there; I don’t want to enjoy yourself, Margo.”

    BBailey: It’s not a recycled strip from the early-mid ’60s, but it should be.

    Monty: Red smear? Where are they? In the 1950s?

    Garfield: Next: Jon walks off panel. One panel with just G napping. Jon returns with a high-powered rifle. He shoots the cat in the head. The end.

  170. Mibbitmaker
    September 27th, 2007 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    #169 (me): I fixed the A3G comment, and it’s still f’ed up! “I don’t want you enjoying yourself” it should read.

  171. Spiny Norman
    September 27th, 2007 at 1:45 am [Reply]

    I logged on to foam at the mouth about “POLITLCAL” but…umm….never mind.

    I have to say, apropos of nothing, that in “Get Fuzzy” I love Bucky’s little hands. I have no idea why. I love many things about GF, but there’s something about Bucky’s face and his innately outraged little paws that just gets me every time. Anyone who can explain the elusive allure of Bucky’s paws will earn my undying respect and affection.

    #49 Chennux: Still stunned by the appearance of the words “nicely” and “Chennux” in a single post.

  172. Marion Delgado
    September 27th, 2007 at 2:41 am [Reply]

    Good things come in threes. Anthony marries Liz. Lisa dies. What’s #3? (They’re good things because they’ll finally be OVER).

  173. Dub Not Dubya
    September 27th, 2007 at 2:44 am [Reply]

    I know not too many folks like Zippy the Pinhead, but nonetheless:

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070927&name=Zippy_the_Pinhead

    “3 Osteopaths in Duluth” would be a great name for a rock band.

    RMMD: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070927&name=Rex_Morgan

    I’m sure I’m not the only one who immediately thought of the “leave Britney alone” guy (and I haven’t even seen the video, just heard about it in the news.)

    Oh, about the news. Someone on an email list that I’m on posted an article about the latest happenings in the Episcopal Church which included the line, “The American bishops, meeting in New Orleans, also approved a “flying bishops” proposal for traditionalists…” and I had to stop reading right there and immediately post a reply that said, “As God is my witness, I thought bishops could fly.”

  174. Marion Delgado
    September 27th, 2007 at 3:41 am [Reply]

    By the way if anyone is interested in how much better a less drawn-out death and diminishment is dealt with:

    http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01232006.shtml

    Start there and click click click click.

    Randy does comics based on his life like Lynn Johnston does, and easily as grim as Funky Winkerbean, but it works. Faye McIntyre, based on his mother, is probably the nicest person in Something Positive.

    There’s an amusing meta-strip with Randy’s parents reading the comic and his father is saying HE GAVE ME ALZHEIMER’S? and his mother says, “at least you’re still ALIVE!”

  175. athena
    September 27th, 2007 at 3:47 am [Reply]

    Is anyone else confused by the last panel of today’s FW? More to the point, does anyone else care?

    And how old is Drew in MW? The way he’s sitting in front of his dad and Mary, mumbling into his lap that he’s going to apologize, honest, cuz he never meant to hurt anyone, reminds me of Beaver Cleaver coming clean to Ward and June. Only Beaver was, what, eight or ten years old?

  176. CrabbyGenes
    September 27th, 2007 at 4:02 am [Reply]

    #175 athena. Interesting you should say that about Drew, because when I saw the Sept 15 Mary Worth

    http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070915&name=Mary_Worth

    I almost made a comment that Drew looked like he was only about 13 or 14.

    Oh wait, I guess emotionally, he is.

  177. dale
    September 27th, 2007 at 4:14 am [Reply]

    111 – Josh
    “Nebby” is just a skosh away from Mary Worth nosy.

  178. The Avocado Avenger
    September 27th, 2007 at 4:23 am [Reply]

    #21 Plus a Constant – You are amazing. That was truly funny, unlike “Pluggers”, which is never, ever funny.

    #173 Dub Not Dubya – “As God is my witness, I thought ___ could fly” is the best meme ever. I saw that rerun a couple weeks ago and to this day I still cry with laughter, just like I did when I first saw it when it originally ran. Which was nearly 30 years ago. Gack, I’m old.

    FW – I know Les is keeping his spirits up for Lisa’s sake, but why is that all the audience gets to see? I don’t even know how to take this otherworldly plane of existence stuff they started today. Oh, wait, I know how I’ll take it: NOT WELL.

    Whew. That’s settled. Time for some tea.

  179. Gabacho
    September 27th, 2007 at 5:20 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – So the elder Dr Cory has fallen to the Stockholm Syndrome and is no longer capable of independent thought.

    Don’t feel betrayed, Drew, he can’t help it.

    Well played, Mrs. Worth, well played.

    When will we hear about Vera’s car accident and Dawn’s suicide?

  180. willethompson
    September 27th, 2007 at 6:00 am [Reply]

    RMMD: Niki says, “I’ll have to cancel my date with Britney Spears!”

    Get in line, kid. Get in line.

  181. Little Guy
    September 27th, 2007 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    133: In my POcket Books compliation, I corrected it to San Clemente, then Rancho de Cielo.

    I guess you could do Crawford today.

    Still, I love the ‘now-obscure’ pop references.

  182. Zamboni_Rodeo
    September 27th, 2007 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    DT: Ka-thung?! Ka-THUNG?! When in the history of the known universe has a bomb ever exploded with a “ka-thung?”

  183. Michael
    September 27th, 2007 at 6:48 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp has some serious competition in a UK strip called Scorer. Definitely NSFW. The Brits go where we could but hope Judge Parker will follow.

  184. athena
    September 27th, 2007 at 7:36 am [Reply]

    Since moving to the UK in June I’ve been fascinated by how many excuses the team at Scorer (yes, it takes three artistes to produce!) use to show the strip’s nubile females naked. Blouses have become unbuttoned while the gals were horseback riding and being harrassed by paparazzi, and if any flesh-and-blood women spent as much time in saunas and steam baths as these women, they’d have become prunes by now.

  185. LightSyrup
    September 27th, 2007 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    183
    Um, that was just… what?

    RMMD: Rex is taking Niki into the mountains for a couple of days. I can’t believe that Niki would cancel a date w/a a washed-up Britney Spears for a Brokeback type adventure w/the good doctor. Oh. He was probably being sarcastic, wasn’t he?

  186. smacky
    September 27th, 2007 at 7:59 am [Reply]

    FC: I suppose we all knew Jeffy would be the bear in the relationship one day.

  187. Quacks Like A Duck
    September 27th, 2007 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    POLITLCAL. POLITLCAL. POLITLCAL.

  188. MonkeyHawk
    September 27th, 2007 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    Thursday’s ZomB.C. — I guess it’s too soon. But I suspect this was a pre-9/11 9-1-1 joke. Badly told, what with “#” instead spelling out the word “number.”

  189. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 27th, 2007 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    9/27

    PBS: Rat is picking up Rev. Will B. Dunn’s baton, insulting soon to be newlyweds all the way.

    SFx: I’m going to go out on a limb and say the six differences are the same as they were the first time this panel ran.

    DT: “Guess it vassn’t a dud after all. Oh vell.”

    BB: The Underdog people are gonna get all lawsuity now. Walker should have gone with his original final panel: Otto mounting Miss Buxley.

    HtH: While this looks like a joke about our wimpy liberal courts, I’m more concerned about the wimpy liberal Vikings. Why isn’t Hagar roasting the judge’s severed head over a roaring fire.

    DtM: Is Dennis resting his head on the balls of his feet? Dennis the Yoga Master!

    Lockhorns: Of course he doesn’t need glasses for this chick. She’s wearing a giant papier mache head. Apparently Mardi Gras never ended this year.

    RMMD: Is Britney really the most au courant hot girl reference Woody Wilson can come up with? Or is Niki just staying true to Louisiana? (giving the man-boy-love jokes a rest today)

    S4th: No bonus points for guessing whose outline it would be. Have fun drawing around those willowy Ted-hands.

    BC: The outfield is on a steep cliff. This team should be called either the Wile E. Coyotes or the Aldos.

    MW: A pensive Dr. Jeff Corey reflects on how much better he would have handled two girlfriends at the same time. And we mean, like really mean handle, oh yeah!

    A3G: DO NOT TAUNT HAPPY FUN MARGO!

  190. Scrog
    September 27th, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    Pluggers are old? Pluggers have bad vision? Pluggers’ children are thirteen years younger than they are?

    If I recall correctly from like nine days in a row in Dick Tracy, wasn’t the baron going to the Pentagon? How did he wind up at the Capitol? There’s a a few miles and a river between the Pentagon and the Capitol.

    Another pop-sayin’ native of the ‘Burgh here. Although now I live in Quebec where everything is “Pepsi.” Including the people, in an apparently really lame attempt at a slur. I mostly don’t have a Pittsburgh accent, but I do retain some of the wording quirks. My weirdest experience was at college in upstate NY where I asked someone to “sweep” the living room, meaning to vacuum. When I turned around he was attempting to use a broom on the carpet.

  191. Artist formerly known as Ben
    September 27th, 2007 at 8:29 am [Reply]

    #174 Marion Delgado,
    I like that sequence from S*P you linked to. R.K. Milholland makes better use of the pathos than Tom Batiuk does. By not milking it so hard, I’d say.

  192. Edgy DC
    September 27th, 2007 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    I see that sheepish and shamed look on the Perfesser’s face and I can’t make fun of that Shoe strip. It’s like he’s suffering from Alzheimer’s-related memory loss, but still aware enough to know what’s happening to him as he uses what’s left of his faculties to labor through his job.

    Sparing the Perfesser’s feelings by switching the conversation to a shared emotional attitude — contempt for political corruption — that remains beyond the grasp of the disease is a really tender thing for the hard-hearted Shoe to do.

    At our best, that’s what we do with my mother-in-law.

    I mean that as no joke — even if none of this subtext is intended by the authors. The twiligiht shadows in panel two are heartbreaking.

    Best zombie strip ever.

  193. MonkeyHawk
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    #106 — Dariaclone:

    Why don’t they just teach ordinary cranes to whoop?

  194. Allie Cat
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    I got nothin’. I’m cranky, it’s raining, and the funnies aren’t that funny today.

    Although, I thought Mutts was kinda cute.

  195. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    One Big Happy, 9/27/07:

    Geez, talk about a forced setup for a joke. So this dude just happens to be watching a TV show about algebra?!?!

  196. commodorejohn
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    A3G – Is…is Eric telling her to do what I think he’s telling her to do?

    BB – Maybe it’s just that the syndicate has decided that complete and total insanity is Beetle Bailey‘s most marketable attribute.

    Crankshaft – God help me, I think I’m beginning to like this strip.

    DTM – I dunno. On the one hand, the fact that Ferdinand and Hamilton are experimenting with something as basic as the Dennis visual formula could herald the beginning of the strip not sucking – on the other, I don’t think we really needed a full facial shot of this kid, thanks a-much.

    DT – “KA-THUNG” is almost as awesome as “qwink!”

    FOOB – Michael, would you shut the fuck up and let us enjoy the flashback to when strip was actually enjoyable!?

    FW – I wonder what this terrible revelation could be? “You were born a boy?” “Your mother and I promised your soul to Satan and you’ll be reborn as a demoness when you die?” “I broke up the Beatles?”

    GT – Astonishingly, there don’t seem to be any crimes against anatomy or art today, aside from Gil and Kaz’s already-established Frankenstein heads.

    H&L – “Well, color had been used in films as early as 1895, and many silent films employed film tinting, and Technicolor came into popularity in 1932…oh wait, you’re doing that stupid joke again, aren’t you?”

    JP – Tell me more about “predatory,” Rusty.

    Marmaduke – Ziggy has gotten taller and works in a butcher shop in Marmaduke’s neighborhood, apparently.

    MW – Man, even Dr. Jeff is getting in on the disco-pointing.

    MC – Oh man oh man oh man, is this turning into a storyline?

    OBH – …who watches algebra on TV?

    PC – Actually, Winslow, if I had anywhere to move out to, I probably would. Stop the world, I wanna get off…

    Popeye – As unfamiliar as I am with this strip, I don’t know if it makes major changes during the course of its story arcs, or takes the Simpsons route and brings everything back to about normal by the end of the story. So…will Popeye convince Castor and Olive to do the charitable thing, or will some outside force destroy the mountain before they can get filthy stinkin’ rich, or what?

    SM – Oookay…I admit to not being extremely knowledgable about movie-making, at least not the business side of things, but would any actor would be stupid enough to sign a contract preventing them from getting other work because the studio might want them to reprise their role in a sequel? That seems like a pretty brain-dead thing to do, even in a universe where the *heehee* Shocker is a credible supervillain.

    Edison Lee – Okay, there’s at least a somewhat amusing joke here, but Clinton got way farther than second base.

  197. statler
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Um, Luanne, 2nd panel, Brad last word balloon?

    I guess it’s official, huh?

  198. willethompson
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Is it too much to hope that DT’s Gretchen was running toward the “Rotunda” (a small restaurant next to Charterstone) and took out Mary Worth, both Dr. Corys and, what the hell, Marmaduke, with one mighty KA-THUNG??

  199. statler
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    and by Luanne I mean Luann of course.

  200. Tavington
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:46 am [Reply]

    I was vaguely disappointed that Hi and Lois did not end with Trixie dangling by her neck from the top of the curtain, strangled by a curtain pull. At the very least it would have made a decent public service announcement.

  201. Inspector Dim
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:50 am [Reply]

    What terrible thing is Lisa’s father about to reveal as she lays dying?

    Is it: a) She’s actually the child of some carny her mother ran off with for a week; b) They both use the same brand of adult diapers; c) He’s never loved her, and always thought of her as a burden on the family; d) He’s gay, and is divorcing her mother for a ranch hand he knew once; or e) Everyone else in the family also has cancer.

  202. Dariaclone
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    #193 Moneyhawk. Wikipedia (an unsourced sentence) says they tried and failed:

    Sandhill Cranes have been used as foster parents for Whooping Crane eggs and young in reintroduction schemes for that species, a project which failed as these foster-raised Whooping Cranes did not recognise other Whooping Cranes as their conspecifics—attempting instead, unsuccessfully, to pair with Sandhills.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandhill_crane

    Alas.

  203. Tilt Araiza
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    I found today’s Herb & Jamaal amusing. Pray for me, I burn with shame.

  204. Niall
    September 27th, 2007 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    Wednesday’s comics were bad enough, as Josh pointed out. Thursday’s can be equally mind-boggling.

    We all know that it’s easy for our warped minds to read an adult/sexual context when there isn’t any (Cassandra Cat anyone?), but there are days like today when we have to wonder if there is any distance left from canon context and adult subtext:

    A3G: Margo is told to “amuse” herself alone while waiting for the love of her life! No, no, she won’t twiddle her thumbs – she can have a much more “creative” use for them, according to Eric. Oh, you just wish, mister! You don’t know how Margo can use her thumbs to kill.

    JP: Yes, Sam, you could fetch a very nice price on certain markets…

    FC: AUUUGH! The mental image! Scrub it from my brain!!! Or else it’s an indication of his future role in life…

    Phantom: She hasn’t seen a body like that up close for a long, long time. Watch out, Elmore, you my have sudden competition.

    Popeye: So Popeye ate a “pure decumposed spinach” lump (from old trees, at that) on Monday, and now he says he has a “mounting” of it??? Such a filthy sailor mind!

    Shoe: …I am so not touching this one.

    Luann: Oh come ON, Brad, don’t make it so easy for us! I thought you were afraid of TJ making a pass at you, and here you are, blurting your desires out in the open.

    In other comics…

    Curtis: Do we have competition for Quote Fingers? Somehow they don’t have the same maniacal glee…

    MT: “You’re a hero, dad! But you’re already washed-out!” “So are you, son. So are you.”

    (WT)DT: Where it earns its “(WT)” once more. In what parallel dimension do explosions go “Ka-Thang”? Not ours, that’s for sure! It also means Tracy failed, since it exploded while she was actually in the Rotunda. Gee, what weak security, even for whenever this is supposed to be happening.

    Spider-Man: Girl, get a new agent and read your contracts yourself. That contract sucks so much even I would have spotted such a stupid clause. And, sorry to say, but anything called “Marvella” is doomed to fail.

    Crock: Wow, this is what, a whole month after all other comics finished with their iPhone references? Maybe it says something about the comic’s lead time for production.

  205. MrP
    September 27th, 2007 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    All the characters in Shoe are prone to frequent heart attacks, always triggered by being subjected to bad jokes. The strips cleverly disguise this, though, by only showing the moment the heart attack happens, and not the aftermath with the heart-starter and the CLEAR! and the tears and the “But I thought the joke was good this time! Oh god what have I done I’ll never tell a joke again!”

  206. Fightin Vague Shape
    September 27th, 2007 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    MW: Poor Dr. Jeff. His she-devil girlfriend won’t let him near her prickly girl-parts, but she has forced him to adopt her wagging finger of death gesture. Within three weeks he’ll be Mary’s undead minion.

    GA: Has anyone in this strip ever spoken to another actual human being?

    FW: What Lisa’s dad wanted to tell him? “You ever see Brokeback Mountain? Well, I’m sort of like Heath Ledger… and Les is sort of like Jake Gyllenhall.

    MT: No, you’re not a hero, you saved a waterfowl from water. And by the way, what’s with all the blue? You’re not IBM. Assholes.

  207. Dennis Jimenez
    September 27th, 2007 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    Boy, I’ve got to say that FBoFW has become really pathetic. I really wish Lynn would just stick a fork in it, because it’s really done. I say this as someone who’s enjoyed the strip over the years, and really respected that she took on some interesting issues and characters – but first this frozen in time thing and now this art scrubbed up trip down memory lane – if it isn’t about the money, then just let it go – sell the books to your fans and leave it at that – don’t run it into ground like this.

  208. bats :[
    September 27th, 2007 at 10:29 am [Reply]

    171. Spiny Norman: I get a kick out of Bucky’s face and espcially the little pink jelly bean toes, too.

    196. commodorejohn and 201. Inspector Dim: re FW: yeah, I figure it’s going to do with Lisa’s bastard kid, but it’s more fun to speculate that she was the product of incest or that her mother drank during pregnancy or that her dad was a Nazi.

    Oh, man, I feel so bad for Lio! Who wouldn’t want a sociopathic little kid around (especially when you’re an equally sociopathic little girl)?

    Not much to add to the pot. FOOB — unexpectedly nice (well, at least to the scumoftheearthhowcouldyoudothistome? husband).

    And although fingers fly around MW like locusts, deeper truths emerge:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/1448526550/

  209. cheech wizard
    September 27th, 2007 at 10:34 am [Reply]

    201/Inspector Dim:

    What terrible thing is Lisa’s father about to reveal as she lays dying?

    Probably that “This morbid, depressing storyline is driving me batshit and I wish you would just hurry up and die already. Sorry.”

    Just like the rest of us.

  210. Niall
    September 27th, 2007 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    208. bats :[: oh god, the mental images from your new dialogue are scarring my brain!!

    Dingo: I barely managed not to make sound when laughing at Dancing Drew. Good thing my work computer’s volume is always off – but I turned it on without having read it had sound, just knowing you had to have done the whole package. Beautiful. (And sad – I’ve seen many guys move about like that on too many dance floors.)

  211. cheech wizard
    September 27th, 2007 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    208/bats: I figure it’s going to do with Lisa’s bastard kid

    You’re probably right – I’m betting her father is going to tell her that the jock who knocked her up tried to get in touch with her in later years, but Lisa’s dad turned him away – although a confession that dad tracked the guy down and beat him to death with a tire iron would be way more interesting.

  212. Mibbitmaker
    September 27th, 2007 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    #173 (Dub…): The Episcopal Church is just jealous that the Catholics had the Flying Nun!

  213. AhClem
    September 27th, 2007 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    FW – “I don’t quite know how to tell you this, honey. Many years ago, I made a pact with the devil. In exchange for helping me pass an Anthropology final back in college, my soul and the souls of my children were condemned to spend the rest of their lives in ‘Funky Winkerbean.’ I’m so, so sorry.”

    MT – Today, the coloring department has run out of everything except blue. Tomorrow, thx typxsxttxrs will call Jack Xlrod, txlling him that thxy havx run out of x’s and arx wondxring if thxy can usx somxthing xlsx instxad.

  214. SmartPeopleOnIce
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

    Spiny Norman (#171) I have advanced the Bucky Points theory (both in these pages and, as it were, shouting at passers-by on random steet corners) which states, in so many words: any GF episode that features Bucky pointing is comedy gold.

    In retrospect, I suppose it’s more of a religion than a theory..

    willethompson (#198) “Rotunda” sounds like the name of an upscale Pluggers restaurant.

    Cheech Wizard (#209); Inspector Dim (#201) How about: Just remember honey, after you die GW is still going to be president. He’s going to live a nice long life with the best health care money can buy and die rich and happy in his sleep.

    Would do it for me.

    In other news:

    FC Doesn’t Rose is Rose own the rights to the “pwecious malapropism” schtick? (what’s the kid’s name again? Pascal? How the hell do I know this?).

    Today, Pat Brady awoke to the sounds of Enya softly playing on her clock radio, got into her bunny slippers arranged perfectly at the foot of the bed, padded to the kitchen to make herself some Chamomile tea and a happy face bagel, opened the funny pages to FC and thought Oh, Keane. You are a fuckin’ dead man.

  215. Trotzenbonnie
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan MBLA – Hold on just a minute! Not that I know all that much about BBBS – no, wait, I do, having been an office manager at a chapter in upstate New York for 2 years. Seems to me that Bigs had to clear trips like that with their case workers first – not just the kid’s mom, assuming it’s an overnighter and Rex will be pitching a tent, so to speak, up there at old ‘William’s River’ (I’ll bet they get there by going through ‘Steve’s Tunnel’). Don’t you just love it when a comic strip is written just for our snarking pleasure? I haven’t had this much fun since Lucky the Beaver’s photo shoot in Mark Trail.

    Cancery Cancerdeath – Warning: Spoiler. Lisa’s father is going to say…….’I love you’ because every dad waits until his daughter is on her death bed before he’s forced to utter those ball busting, nut cracking, peeny shrinking words. Don’t you just hate it when a comic strip is written just for the benefit of the anit-depressant industry?

    I’m working myself into my final Batiuik rant. It’s going to be duck and cover time when I blow so beware.

  216. Chloe The Cat
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Trotzenbonnie, my Dad was not in the catagory of never saying ” I love you”. He was at the opposite side of the spectrum. I have a very large family and he said it to every one of us at least once a day. (My Mom, not so much)

  217. Uncle Lumpy
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    #215 Trotz –

    I’m working myself into my final Batiuik rant.

    Hey, maybe we can have a memorial service! With poems, and hushed voices, and covered dishes to pass!

  218. Anonymous
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    #195 Skullturf Q. Beavispants & #196 commodorejohn:

    There ARE shows about algebra on TV, depending on where you live and what time of year it is. I live in Upstate New York, and when the middle school and high school kids are getting ready to take their Regents exams (a set of very important standardized tests that only kids in NY and CA take), the local-government-TV-stations always show programs about doing math problems and the like. So to me, the setup in OBH didn’t seem that forced.

  219. Trotzenbonnie
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    #216 – Chloe
    Me too. (Even the part about Mom).
    And my rotten kid says ‘I love you’ to me even in front of his friends.
    I remember when he was around 6 and wanted to stop kissing me goodbye when I dropped him off at school. He said ‘One of the guys might see me kissing my mom!’
    I said if you can’t kiss your mother, who the hell can you kiss? Then I told him that boys who don’t kiss their mothers grow up to be criminals and wind up in jail. He became very affectionate after that.
    I was too poor to buy his love so I had to resort to intimidation and threats.

  220. Keg of Curd
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    Karma, at this point, requires that Tom Batuiuiuiuik – whatever combination of vowels it’s supposed to be is in there – die a prolonged, slowly-wasting death and that it be televised, candidly, for millions to view.

  221. Trotzenbonnie
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

    #217 – Uncle Lumpy
    You’re a freakin genius!
    My voice will be anything but hushed but, oh boy, let’s get cracking on the funeral trough menu right away. And music. We’ll need appropriately somber tunes.

    Does anybody know the words to ‘Dirge Inferno’ by Cradle of Filth?

  222. Hank
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    FW: C’mon. The dad is going to reveal that he’s always felt guilty for how he raised her to be ignorant of “the facts of life” and the fact he shunned her after the pregnancy. Having received absolution from her father (and allowed Batuik to insert yet another of his favorite heavy handed life lessons) she can happily die off just in time for the full color, single panel “retrospective” strip to appear on Sunday, which has surely been pre-shipped to the book publishers to appear as the back cover of the “Lisa’s story” paperback next month.

  223. Poteet
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    # 159 — Somehow my quick spelling apology post didn’t make it, so please let me say that I do know it’s “ecstasy.” Sorry.

  224. commodorejohn
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    #215 Trotzenbonnie – Looking forward to the Winkerdeath rant. I, personally, will probably do less ranting and more rejoicing, probably launching into a bawdy parody of “Ding, Dong, The Witch Is Dead.”

    I’m with you on the “I love you” thing, though. I don’t know where the hell this idea that fathers never express love for their children even started; any dad I know who doesn’t let their kids know this is just a piss-poor parent in general. My dad has never been shy of letting us know that he loves us, and we reciprocate the sentiment. None of us, my dad, me, or my three brothers, feel less masculine for it.

  225. Dik-Dik Vendetta
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:40 pm [Reply]

    Re the 9/26 Mary Worth: Why is Drew doing the Macarena in panel 1?

  226. Poteet
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    # 221 — Trotz, do you mean a memorial service for Lisa? With tasteful Curmudgeon outfits a la the Shawna-Marie wedding? Or maybe a strange memorial service altogether, like this?

    ***
    “James Henry Smith was known as a zealous Pittsburgh fan in life — and remains so in death as well. Death could not keep the man from his favorite spot — sitting in a recliner, in front of a television watchin the Steelers in action. Smith, 55, died of prostate cancer on Thursday. Because his death was not unexpected, his family was able to plan for an unusual viewing on Thursday evening. The Samuel E. Coston Funeral Home in Pittsburgh erected a small stage in one of its viewing rooms. The furniture was arranged to make it look as much as possible like Smith’s home on game day. Smith’s body was placed in a recliner, with his feet crossed and a remote control in his hand. He wore black and gold — the team’s colors — pajamas, slippers and a robe. A pack of cigarettes as well as a beer were at his side. A high definition television played a continuous loop of Steelers highlights.”

  227. Mibbitmaker
    September 27th, 2007 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    In the spirit of those captions scrolling down the screen on the original SNL — esp. in front of Buck Henry — here is….

    WOMEN THAT ARE MUCH NICER THAN 9CL WOMEN

    Margo McGee
    Rosie O’Donnel
    Leona Helmsley
    Ann Coulter
    Barbara Bush
    Kortney
    Mrs. Kelpfroth
    The Dragon Lady
    Andrea Dworkin
    Phyllis Schlafly
    Most females in Cerebus
    Sunday School nuns
    Darcy Parker
    Veronica Pace
    Veronica Lodge
    Femme Fatales
    Susan Smith
    Andrea Yates
    Jeanine Garafolo
    Nancy Grace
    Linda Tripp
    Luciana Goldberg
    Eva Braun
    Susan Carpenter McMillan
    Helen Kushnic
    Martha Mitchell
    Lucille Bluth
    Joy Turner-Hickey
    Margaret Thatcher
    Jack Donaghy’s mom
    Arthur Carlson’s mom
    Sally Forth’s mom
    Britney Spears (bald)
    Joan Rivers
    Melissa Rivers
    Jeannie’s sister (I Dream of Jeannie)
    Cinderella’s step-sisters
    The Wicked Witch of the West
    Michelle (Curtis)
    Mrs. Satan (???)

    Buck Henry: “We have a great show tonight. We’ll be right back after this filmed message….”

  228. Mountain Mama
    September 27th, 2007 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    #217–Commodorejohn–I suppose you could say my dad is a piss-poor parent, but he is absolutely incapable of saying “I love you.” When I do say it, he just smiles and says “yeah.” He may say “love you too” back, but it always has a tone of “goddamnit I need to say it back. I’m not comfortable here!”

    My mom is more demonstrative than she used to be. I still feel a bit weird hugging her sometimes.

    Oh, well.

  229. dale
    September 27th, 2007 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    190 Scrog
    What would have happened if you had asked your roommate to “redd up” the place?

    Turns out, the word is in the dictionary.

  230. Scrog
    September 27th, 2007 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

    229 Dale

    Well I still contend that he was feigning ignorance out of spite, so he probably would have painted the carpet.

  231. LTBF
    September 27th, 2007 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    So TJ plans to cook meals for a large group of people every day from a kitchen in a small house? And just what is Brad going to deliver them in? He drives some sort of sports car. And has Brad asked the guys at the station if they want their meals catered?

  232. Anonymous
    October 1st, 2007 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    “Oh, man, water! The sinister plot being machinated by the sinister Mr. Caesar is all about control of the world’s water sources! ”

    Um, yeah, but the state of Nevada really is trying to usurp Utah’s ground water.

    GROUNDWATER TAPPING: Battle with Utah brewing:
    http://www.lvrj.com/news/8869507.html

    We’ll find out if they succeeded when Utah’s west desert becomes the next Death Valley!

  233. Jason R.
    November 16th, 2012 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    Are you sure Johnny Hart’s not taking the piss out of an extremely overused joke, by using it as an inappropriate punchline through a character that couldn’t care less about much at all? The joke isn’t at all that the fish tastes like chicken.

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