The Comics CurmudgeonIt's like the end of St. Elsewhere! But more cancer-y

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It’s like the end of St. Elsewhere! But more cancer-y

Mark Trail, 5/5/12

Oh, man, you didn’t expect this Mark Trail storyline to end without a powerhouse moral lesson, did you? “Rusty, America’s landscape is lousy with marijuana, and probably most of your little school friends are dopers! It’s not safe out there for anyone, so maybe it’s better that you just stay in the Lost Forest compound, forever. Those friendly beavers won’t try to push a reefer at you, I can promise you that!”

Crankshaft, 5/5/12

Don’t Leroy and Loretta usually at least try to make their hostile asides about one other relate in a vaguely punny way to whatever situation they find themselves in? Like, Leroy should be stage-whispering this to a salesman as they shop for a new car. Just blurting this stuff at a party reeks of even greater levels of desperation than we’ve seen before. “Loretta’s hair isn’t factory color. I mean, she dyes it. Her blonde hair is a lie. A lie like our marriage. Oh, God, I hate every waking moment. Do you have a gun in the house? Can you put it to my head and pull the trigger? I’ll pay you!”

Funky Winkerbean, 5/5/12

Many of you may have already heard about the blockbuster Gay Teens Go To The Prom storyline Funky Winkerbean’s got lined up for the spring. I’m fully in favor of this because (a) I think gay teens should go to the prom together if they want and should be depicted as doing such in comics where proms happen and (b) any Funky Winkerbean strip time dedicated to gay teens going to the prom is strip time not dedicated to beloved characters dying in agony, leaving emotional devastation in their wake.

The mechanics of such stories are a bit tricky in comic strips like this, in that if you suddenly make an established character is gay it seems a bit deus ex machina just to make the plot happen, whereas if you suddenly introduce generic gay characters who only exist for the purpose of the storyline, it makes it very obviously an Issue Story rather than a story about the characters in your strip. Probably the best way to do it would be to introduce a new character who then becomes a part of the recurring cast (which is what Archie did), and who knows, maybe these two guys will stick around, though there are already so many Funkyverse teen characters that I can’t keep track of them all. Hopefully they’ll be given names at some point, at least.

But maybe they won’t! Because as the third panel reveals, the nemesis of gay teen happiness for the next several weeks will be Becky’s mom, who, if I’ve got my Funky history right, once launched a moral crusade to get Comic Book John’s comic book store shut down, because comic books are smut. Thus the important lesson that Gay Relationships Are Valid will probably just serve to make clear the real point of the storyline, which is that Becky’s Mom Is Terrible.

Crankshaft, 5/5/12

But maybe we won’t get to see any of this played out, because it turns out that the entire Funkyverse is really just a series of tales Grandma Rose is telling to her grandkids in order to scar them emotionally.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 5, 2012 at 08:26 am and is filed under Crankshaft, Funky Winkerbean, Lockhorns, Mark Trail. |

295 responses to “It’s like the end of St. Elsewhere! But more cancer-y”

Rocky Stoneaxe
May 5th, 2012 at 8:38 am [Reply]

@Droopy Says (#y97): Dickens and Fenster?
Inexplicable Bear Tongue
May 5th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

FW: It’s so nice of the nice gay boys buying tickets to bait the girl selling them like that.

MW: I can’t hold it in any longer. This is getting too ridiculous. If “Bobby” is a professional soccer player, my mom’s a professional soccer player, and she’s not!
Honey Badger, Does not give a shit
May 5th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

MT: see ya later Mark. I’m going to go out for a little walk.
lorne
May 5th, 2012 at 8:42 am [Reply]

Notice that Rusty’s comments about the Marijuana are very neutral.
“It’s hard to believe that marijuana plants were being grown so close to us… We’re learning about it in school… Exactly where did you say all this weed was now?”
Datpaw86
May 5th, 2012 at 8:46 am [Reply]

Hey Josh you accidentally labeled “The Lockhorns” as “Crankshaft”
No-one else mentioned it so just letting you know. Unless this is also part of your experiment.
Liam
May 5th, 2012 at 8:49 am [Reply]

MT-I wish there were some bulls in the last panel because that is what today’s comic feels like a bunch of bull.

Crankshaft-Let me tell you about my friend Eunice who died of cancer her husband didn’t write a book about her battle with cancer.
Chyron HR
May 5th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

Every year I go to visit a friend of mine who lives in Oklahoma, and when I was younger I’d often be tempted to give him a big wet solo-sex-kiss right in the middle of the airport just to freak out the squares (as it were).

I’m pretty sure if I ever had engaged in such blatant attention-whoring behavior, my next move would have been to turn to any bystanders and smugly ask, “So do you have a PROBLEM with two guys kissing?!”
Liam
May 5th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

MT-Mark, are you implying that you suspect your friend Ranger Tom Martin, who is probably popular in the community, to be in league with the pot growers.
Calvin's Cardboard Box
May 5th, 2012 at 8:52 am [Reply]

CS – “But, you don’t have to listen to me tell you the story of her lingering, painful death. She made a video, so she could tell you herself! Actually, a series of nine, six-hour videos, plus additional tapes for every significant moment of your projected life! Here is Part 1 : ‘Denial and Anger’. Enjoy!”

Luann – “We were just getting going when Shannon vanished!”. So, the plan was to have your romantic evening with her in sight? Or was it for her to wander off, but be nearby and in earshot the whole time? Either way, it confirms that B-Wad’s definition of a ‘romantic evening’ involved sitting next to Toni watching TV. Hey! They should have MJ and Peter Parker come over!
Rusty
May 5th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

MT: I’m not buying Rusty going to a public school, unless it’s a one room schoolhouse. He looks like (among other things) the poster boy for home schooling.

FW: Jinx, for instance, is one of the numerous teens in the strip that get dusted off once a year to make a cameo in a story arc involving something else. Jinx is the cute girl selling prom tickets, for those who have forgotten she is the adopted (yes?) daughter of Bull Bushka, a major character. Bull’s wife would presumably be a major character but I can’t remember her name. Formerly a “hot” Latina.
Rocky Stoneaxe
May 5th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

This woman is Wally Winkerbean’s former mother-in-law and a Terrible Person™
Liam
May 5th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

MT-I am hoping that Rusty is learning the truth about marijuana but sadly he is most likely learning all that negative anti-marijuana propaganda. They are probably showing him “Refer Madness”.
Rusty
May 5th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

FW: That blond guy’s mouth looks enormous enough to separate his head. Is this Terrance and Philip?
Ranger™
May 5th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

@Liam (#8): Mark knows I was a victim of circumstance. (Right, Mark? RIGHT??)
Shermy Glamrocker
May 5th, 2012 at 9:08 am [Reply]

If Mark’s long-term plans come to fruition, those are the only beavers Rusty will ever see.
Rusty
May 5th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

@Shermy Glamrocker (#15): Hah! I like it.
Liam
May 5th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

@Ranger™ (#14):

“I knew it was you all along. You broke my heart.”
Joss Whedon
May 5th, 2012 at 9:15 am [Reply]

…if you suddenly make an established character is gay it seems a bit deus ex machina just to make the plot happen

Well, I think it’s a perfectly acceptable way to advance a story. Also, killing off beloved ancillary characters for the purpose of cheap dramatic impact works, too.
Rusty
May 5th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

Lockhorns: Are all these strips reruns or new material? If new, I like the commitment to wearing dressier clothing at house parties, even outdoor ones. Sadly, I think it is a rerun showing adults as they used to dress. A modern Lockhorns would have Leroy in cargo shorts, sandals and a t-shirt; and Loretta wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt.
Liam
May 5th, 2012 at 9:18 am [Reply]

@Ranger™ (#14):

This can only end “Godfather II” style with Mark having Ranger Tom Martin shot in the middle of the lake.
CanuckDownSouth
May 5th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

If the advanced press reports are right, the guy-couple have had their two strips and won’t be seen again. So yeah, it’s all about Terrible, Horrible, Strawwoman And The Courageous Batiuk That Exposes This. (The 90s are calling – they want their Very Special Episode back)

And to top it off, as I understand it, Saturday comics are the least-read of the week, so the guys got 1/2 of their strips – and the one with encouragement from a fellow student – on the dead day.
Zerowolf
May 5th, 2012 at 9:19 am [Reply]

@Rusty (#19): Loretta wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt

Thanks for that visual. I’ll just go pluck out my eyes with shish kabob spears now.
Zerowolf
May 5th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: If this is a slice of young Batiuk’s life, it explains everything.
The Ridger
May 5th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

Any chance that Edda will have the baby and give it to Seth?
Zerowolf
May 5th, 2012 at 9:26 am [Reply]

S4th: Sally Forth by day, Hyacinth Bucket by candlelight dinner.
IHateMowing
May 5th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

9CL: Beautiful.
Baka Gaijin
May 5th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

@Zerowolf (#22): Melon ballers work well, too. Experience speaking: I saw “Slylock Fox” today.
sporknpork
May 5th, 2012 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Crankshaft has become self-aware. God help us all.
Digger
May 5th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: Today’s strip makes me grateful that when I visited my grandmother she never terrified me by reading me Funky Winkerbean comic strips.

MT: Hey Mark, you’re jumping the gun. You’re supposed to save the preachy pseudo-information for Sundays.
Alfred E. Neuman
May 5th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

@Ranger™ (#99y) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#84): Hey, what about me? My comments were stricken from the Official Record along with those others you mention. I know my storyline’s over, but that doesn’t mean I’m no longer relevant. Since the Test Post Toastees won’t have me as a member, I’m appointing myself chairman of the Toast’em® Pop-ups (a subset of your subset).”

You are definitely a member of The Test Post Toastees! In my post, I cited just a few examples of the early vociferous complainants. Everyone who valiantly contributed to the Lost Test Post, and saw their carefully crafted comments make the ultimate sacrifice, will live in Curmudgeon hearts forever.
Lenoxus
May 5th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

What was that test post about? I had commented on it with an excerpt from the Beastie Boys song “Just a Test”… completely unaware that Beastie Boy MCA had died (or soon would). RIP MCA
Santa Royale With Cheese
May 5th, 2012 at 9:41 am [Reply]

9CL: Aw, c’mon… I was looking forward to Seth saying “what? You didn’t have no baby?” post terminus.

MT: “Trust nothing and no-one, son… and someday a man who claims to be from the CIA will tell you that you fit the profile.”

FW: Here’s the problem there, jerky: If the Funkyverse got time-shifted forward, the question is, forward from what year to what year? Apparently it wasn’t moved to say, 2041, as absolutely no attempts to predict what life might be like in “the future” have been made short of smirky and sullen. Even a shift to say, 2016 might make this gay prom resistance thing seem quaint. Not to say that the US flag is going to be redesigned with rainbow stripes by then, but gays doing anything might be more of a culture shock in strips like Mark Trail, BG&SS, A3G, or, well, sheesh, most of the antiquated comics in the paper. (Also antiquated in 2016: the paper.) Cripes, behind-the-times bellwether Beetle Bailey hasn’t introduced a gay character yet (besides the Sarge/Beetle slash) who I would assume would be called “Fruity” or something. Anyway, I’m probably overthinking this and my cereal is getting mushy, like my brane hofgnnjhn bfbn nqnf
Santa Royale With Cheese
May 5th, 2012 at 9:44 am [Reply]

MT take 2: The dramatic beaver in panel 2 distracted me from realizing that what Mark is really warning his son about is the schoolmarm with her fancy book-learnin’.
CanuckDownSouth
May 5th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

Alex, hon, let me let you in on a little secret: if your wedding doesn’t involve royalty or world-renowned celebrity, your dress isn’t important enough to go over budget. Those poor folks have to worry about global news coverage of the design, with articles analyzing it that they’ll never be allowed to forget – and half the time, the extra budget will just allow them to make the dress into more of a trainwreck. There are nice dresses at all kinds of prices, so if you want to hotglue more sequins or lace onto a puffball of tulle, you can pay for it yourself.

(This being Trudeau, though, I’m confident we’re not heading into a FOOBwreck that validates Alex’ notions.)
Alfred E. Neuman
May 5th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

FW— Becky’s self-righteous mom is so incensed by the prospect of a gay couple attending the prom, that she will buy a gun and attempt to kill them. But just like he did with her daughter, Wally will disarm her.
Anna Nimity
May 5th, 2012 at 9:57 am [Reply]

FW – My cousin Nonie does a comedy show called “Late Night Catechism.” At the end of the show she does a Q and A, and one time someone asked, “Should Catholic priests be allowed to marry?” She replied, “Well, yes, if they really love each other.”"
TheDiva
May 5th, 2012 at 10:01 am [Reply]

C’shaft: What, you mean this isn’t a normal bedtime story in the Funkyverse?

FW: Thank you, Anonymously Gay Duo! Now please clear the strip so the writer can spend three weeks soapboxing about the Very Important Issue for which you are merely token representatives.

MT: I grew up during the “Just Say No” era, and this is the most delightfully nutty anti-drug story I’ve ever seen. Yes, better than ever Cartoon All-Stars. God bless you Mark Trail!

9CL: Wait, those are two separate ideas…

A3G: Don’t mind us, ladies. We’re only the readers; we don’t need important information imparted to us. (Actually, we pretty much figured out it’s a whole Mom-died-in-childbirth thing, but it’s still annoying that you’re trying to be coy about it.

Luann: Doesn’t TJ know all this already? After Brad has finished with the sledgehammer, can I use it on Greg Evans?

MW: Yeah, who cares about Brad and Angelina? Some MLS midfielder trying the knot with an ugly-haired waitress, there’s the cover of next week’s People for you!

Pluggers like the taste of vinegar.

SM: It’s the scarf. That thing’s not natural; I think it’s an alien symbiote or something.
cartooncritic2544
May 5th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

RE: Crankshaft. We really should work on starting an internet rumor that advances Josh’s “St Elsewhere” theory as a real one, not unlike that whole “Garfield is dead” one. After all, it would explain the strange time jumps, dream sequences and gaps of logic in Funky: that the whole strip is just the grandmother telling a cancer laden fairy tale.
btown
May 5th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

I like to interpret this Mark Trail as a pro-marijuana message.

“I’m afraid they’re being grown illegally in many places, Rusty. Fortunately, thanks to Proposition 215, they are grown legally in California!”

“You’ve got to be careful who your friends are, too! For example, stoners are mellow; pleasant; and funny, unlike those edgy cokeheads in your class”

Finally, Mark and Andy look pretty goddamned relaxed. What have they been smoking?
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 5th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

A&J: golf AND technology tropes, and it’s still good.

JS: modern art, explained, day 3.

NS: “how long can you tread water?”

R&R: I always use “kittywampus”.

SBp: guest written by Wiley Miller?

Bizarro: KLANG!!!!

DT: OMG!!! TU’I!!

JUMBLE: “Club” de Hedonism doesn’t fit. :-(

Mutts: ok, that’s more like Shelter Week.

PMP: heee!

SFx: NSFBG!!!!!!!!!!

Retail: I lol’d. more of a chuckle, actually, but it was audible.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 10:04 am [Reply]

@Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#2):
If Bobby were in Funky Winkerbean, he would be dead of a heart attack on the pitch.

I’m not taking a liking to today’s CS, either, considering the past two weeks. Thanks for the happy reminders!
anty a
May 5th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

FW: Everyone has a gift, and sometimes it’s quite specific. For instance, instead of saying someone has a talent for art, it may be narrowed down, as in, “When God was handing out the ability to draw ugly, scowling, beady-eyed, hate-filled older people, Batuik got in line twice.”
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 5th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

yesterday was a good day.

It wasn’t just because it was Friday and payday. (but it helped.)

It wasn’t just because the QG made dinner and had it ready when I got home. (I’m usually the chef, and I expected her to be still asleep.)

It was because we have a scruffy little white dog for the Weekend!!!!

yes, we are dog sitting Tu’i for a few days.

*does happy dance*
Alfred E. Neuman
May 5th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

@Inexplicable Bear Tongue (#2) said: “FW: It’s so nice of the nice gay boys buying tickets to bait the girl selling them like that.”

That’s because they are…wait for this one…master baiters.
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 5th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

Love Is . . . banging. (well, DUH!!!!)
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 10:12 am [Reply]

@Zerowolf (#25):
“it’s pronounced ‘Boo-kay.” LOL
And Ralph must be Anslow.
bats Colon Left-Bracket
May 5th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

@Calico (#46): no, it’s Left-Brack-KAY…wait, what?
Oh. Carry on.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 10:20 am [Reply]

@bats Colon Left-Bracket (#47):
Haha!
Hi Bats Colon left-bracket!
(sounds like a British Title of Nobility, LOL)
endless sky
May 5th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

Shoe: So this is their idea of a Cinco de Mayo “tribute?” Scribble it on the blackboard in a totally unrelated strip.

Argyle Sweater: OK, I laughed. My humor threshold is low.

Red&Rover: I use the words lollygagging and shenanigans quite regularly. Catawampus – not so much.
Hank
May 5th, 2012 at 10:23 am [Reply]

@TheDiva (#37): we do not joke about alien symbiotes in Spiderman. It brings back bad memories of actually having to fight crime
Ranger™
May 5th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

@Liam (#20): I’d prefer to go out in blaze of glory fighting government soldiers — like the Alamo or Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. (Speaking of the latter, I’ve had considerable practice singing “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head” in the shower!)
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

@Anna Nimity (#36):
I would love to hear her show-any recordings on YT or Vimeo?
MySpoonIsTooBig
May 5th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

Ok, two questions about FW: 1)What with the time skips is this really the FIRST gay couple at that school who went to prom together? Really? And 2) Does Becky’s mom actually work at the school or does she materialize wherever and whenever there’s something she disapproves of?
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 10:28 am [Reply]

@Baka Gaijin (#27):
I was so hoping you wouldn’t notice that. So very sorry.
(My head was spinning after counting all those damned spots on the clown’s garb)
queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
May 5th, 2012 at 10:29 am [Reply]

If you noticed the jacket, and your nick isn’t Fashion Police, I have some bad news for you.

Epic crossover.

ferrety yearbook photo.

Next week on Daily Squee is either bats or sea turtles. vote early, vote often.

a little something for Poteet.

meanwhile, in the WWWE. (wet weasel wrestling entertainment, of course!)

The Daily Puppy is a black Labradoodle.

corgi is ready for the water.
A Woman of a Certain Age
May 5th, 2012 at 10:30 am [Reply]

R&R: Since Mr. Age retired last year, I find myself saying ‘lollygagging” a lot.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 10:33 am [Reply]

@cartooncritic2544 (#38):
We’re certainly not going to get an end story like “Newhart”, that’s for sure.
Mibbitmaker
May 5th, 2012 at 10:34 am [Reply]

MT: I’m no fan of pot, but that’s got to be the narc-iest, Refer-Madnessest thing in the world! “And don’t watch that Saturday Night show with all the bees and coneheads, Rusty! You’ll only end up like John Beluchi!”

Crank: Really, Batiuk? You’re not even pretending to not be your own caricature anymore!

FW: With Designated Awful Reactionary Woman overhearing this, she becomes a character from Three’s Company, like a female Mr. Roper. Next thing you know, she’ll be making lisping, childish innuendo to the “camera” like him, too.

And putting his persecuted gay mcguffins (sp?*) on little-read Saturday does not exactly help the cause any. Of course, the point isn’t to humanize a loving gay relationship (yeah, like, how would that help?), so whatever.

*(If I got that one wrong, PLEASE no pedantic hair-pulling-out or server judgmentalism where a simple helpful correction (if that) would suffice. Thank you.)
Rocky Stoneaxe
May 5th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

@The Ridger (#24): Any chance that Edda will have the baby and give it to Seth?

Will the Seth Lord baby grow up to be the Seth Emperor?
occupymymomsbasement
May 5th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

Funky Winkerbean launches it’s own awareness campaign for gay teens; IT GETS WORSE.
Arabella
May 5th, 2012 at 10:41 am [Reply]

@MySpoonIsTooBig (#53): Becky’s Mom first appeared years ago as the Band Parent from Hell. I don’t recall her showing up again until she tried to put John’s comic book store out of business. She doesn’t work at the school; she’s now the Grandparent Volunteer from Hell. She seems to be a professional busy-body, not to be confused with a professional meddler like MW.
Little Blue Bicycle
May 5th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

Mark Trail’s water tower is certainly paranoid. But those beavers did do a number on its left front leg.
Baka Gaijin
May 5th, 2012 at 10:43 am [Reply]

@Calico (#54): With all the thread jumping and disappearances, no one gave me warning. I just about plotzed.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

@Alfred E. Neuman (#44):
Damn, Son, you are on fire today! : )
Poteet
May 5th, 2012 at 10:50 am [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#55): Aww. We don’t have lizards where I live, so thanks for the lizard fix.
Mibbitmaker
May 5th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

A3G: Well, WE DIDN’T!!!

BBailey: His swear symbols should be sprinkled with little crosses.

GT, p.2: Wah, wah!

Luann: Start with the teeth, Brad!

MW: My answer to that: Please, no!

Popeye: “Scarecrow? I just doesn’t sees it.”
Bluto: “Scarecrow? Naw, she ain’t that at all!”

R&R: Forget that — get them on the Factor Word of the Day.
Amy Stephenson
May 5th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

Mark is so funny. He thinks Rusty has friends.
Mark B.
May 5th, 2012 at 11:16 am [Reply]

JP: Nah, you don’t owe me anything. April gave me a lifetime gas card and a blow job, so I’m good!
Mark B.
May 5th, 2012 at 11:18 am [Reply]

MW: Since when are soccer players in the US celebrities? Except for Beckham, and that’s because he married a musician, sort of.
NoahSnark
May 5th, 2012 at 11:20 am [Reply]

Bedtime stories about death and cancer explain a lot about the cheer and hope that pervades the Funkyverse.
debussy fields
May 5th, 2012 at 11:21 am [Reply]

FC–
1. Get some Silly Putty, the old kind that will lift an image from the comics page.
2. Apply it to today’s Family Circus.
3. Hold the top of the putty in your right hand.
4. Hold the bottom of the putty in your left hand.
5. Pull your right hand up eight inches.
6. Pull your left hand down eight inches.
Now and only now will Jeffy’s head be proportionally correct.
Dagger
May 5th, 2012 at 11:22 am [Reply]

“We’re learning about it in school! Today they taught us how to make a basic hydroponic setup so we can keep the marihuana watered on an automatic schedule! Isn’t horticulture swell?”
odinthor
May 5th, 2012 at 11:26 am [Reply]

FW. — I hope that smirking is just a phase they’re going through.

H&J. — Well, Rev., it’s like this: People will always prefer a transparent lie to an opaque truth.

JP. — There was a short silence as Randy smirked . . . smirked like a character in Funky Winkerbean . . . Randy knew that Sam’s forced bonhomie only pointed up the fact that he was nervous about their future together. But Randy also knew that, no matter what he walked down the aisle with, he and Sam would always have their special times. To break the tension, Randy cracked, “What do you mean, pal? Lawyers are born with a lifetime ‘gas’ card!” Sam smiled, relishing in his thoughts, “He called me pal.” Everything would be all right.

Love Is . . . — . . . A cheap hotel room.
bbofun
May 5th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

9CL- “You couldn’t possibly not have your very own baby?” “No, I couldn’t.”

Okay, what does that actually mean? “No, I couldn’t” not have her own baby? “No, I couldn’t” couldn’t have her own baby? Are you having the damn kid or what?

And what’s with the font? Suddenly, it changes to a smaller size. I know it’s to indicate that it’s a different tone, but is it tenderness? Consoling? Seductive?

What I’m trying to say is- I hate this strip.
Chareth Cutestory
May 5th, 2012 at 11:29 am [Reply]

Mark Trail: “Yes Rusty, you need to be very careful who your friends are. Now, remember: marijuana is not your friend. Good ole legalized alcohol is your friend.”

Funky Winkerbean: It is 2012! Gay teens should be allowed to go to prom. Even Becky’s mom recognizes that it really is not a big deal. Oh, that look of scorn on her face? That’s just because she sees two gay kids with apparently awful fashion sense. One with a collared shirt untucked and the other with a tshirt tucked into jeans–BLEECH! She shudders to imagine what their prom attire is going to look like!
Cloudbuster
May 5th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

Luann: Things I didn’t need to know: Blue balls make Brad really cranky.

FW: Becky’s mom shows up whenever they need “a really bad person.” She is the titular scapegoat in the Westview Scapegoats — someone on whom they can dump all their moral blame. She’s terrible so everyone else can be wonderful.
Jerseygull
May 5th, 2012 at 11:33 am [Reply]

@CanuckDownSouth (#34): I think Trudeau is obviously ripping on “Say Yes to the Dress,” which generally starts with a young woman announcing what her budget is for her wedding gown, and ends with her being pressured by a pushy saleswoman and five screaming bridesmaids into buying a wedding gown that costs at least twice as much as she originally planned.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

@Chareth Cutestory (#75): It is 2012. Gay teens should not be subjected to idiotic stereotypes. They aren’t required to dress any better than anyone else in this gods-forsaken strip.
Poteet
May 5th, 2012 at 11:39 am [Reply]

@bbofun (#74): And she still hasn’t bothered with a pregnancy test like us ordinary mortals. I’m going back to the theory expounded by one Mudge that her child will spring fully-formed from her forehead. One way or another, I’m almost hoping for a baby because it will be a new character to hate, and if anyone can make me loathe a new baby, McE is the man.
The Ridger
May 5th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

@bbofun (#74): When dealing with “modal not – not” constructions, it’s helpful to convert the negated main verb into a plain, positive verb that has the same meaning. “I couldn’t not help = I couldn’t hurt” “I couldn’t not go = I couldn’t stay”, and so on. So “I couldn’t possibly not have your very own baby = I couldn’t possibly refuse to have…” or, if you’re not artistic, “I couldn’t possibly abort”.

Nobody actually talks like that, of course, but Brooke doesn’t let that stop him.
Anonymous
May 5th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

Grandma Rose is Tom Batiuk in a wig, right?
Poteet
May 5th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

MW — That ponytail is the very worst ponytail in the history of human hair, yet Gina is going to be married in it(?!) And on one of the few occasions when meddling might do some real good (“Gina, dear, it’s time for a ponytail intervention!”), Mary is inexplicably silent. I hope the cameras trying to record the happy event won’t scream and break.
The Ridger
May 5th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

@The Ridger (#80): argh. “couldn’t possibly not have MY very own baby” of course. (And I wish Edda would talk to Nina. Mostly because I’d love to see Margo kill her.
Illustrator Steve
May 5th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

@TheDiva (#37): I respect Nancy Regan for starting the “just say no” campaign. Thing is, my Mother always taught me that it’s not polite to say no.
Alfred E. Neuman
May 5th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

@Calico (#64):

Aw, shucks…

(pretends to be humble, but actually gloats)
RavenHawk
May 5th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

@MySpoonIsTooBig (#53): “…And 2) Does Becky’s mom actually work at the school or does she materialize wherever and whenever there’s something she disapproves of?”

Maybe she’s Anita Bryant, using her “GAYDAR”.
CanuckDownSouth
May 5th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

@Jerseygull (#77): Yes, and I really hope he rips into it some more, because my comment is what I would love to yell at nearly every woman on that show. I’ll make an exception for the woman marrying an MLB player and most of Season One.

(Used to be one of my trashy-shows-I’ll-watch-on-the-treadmill. In the 1st season, they made a point of showing “the talk” to saleswomen about always establishing what the budget is, how firm it is, nevereverever showing a dress above the firm budget – a bride will likely leave unhappy and not buy a dress rather than buy something waaayyyy over budget. And they showed working with women who could only spend at the low end for the shop – around a grand [still yeeps! but it's their choice]. Then the saleswomen would start hemming at low budgets and say there weren’t many options. And then they’d fish dresses above budget on purpose… so the show’s gone from Enjoyably Ludicrous to Kill It With Fire in my estimation.)
Illustrator Steve
May 5th, 2012 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

MT – “Yes Mark, I learned all about marijuana in school. Especially in the school’s hallways and behind the athletic field bleachers!”
“THAT’S good, Rusty, but remember, you’ve got to be careful WHO your friends are. Hell, they will steal your weed if you turn your back for even one lousy second!”
“HOW do you know so much about marijuana, Mark?”
“Ummm…er, shut up kid and eat your PANCAKES!”
commodorejohn
May 5th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

Well, I don’t know how the site can carry on after the BURNING OF THE ALEXANDRIAN LIBRARY last night, but if carry on we must…

9CL – “You couldn’t possibly not have…?” Okay, I’m not even going to try and suss out the intended meaning of that phrase, or Edda’s response. NEGATIVES DO NOT GET ADDED TO SENTENCES LIKE BUTTER TO TOAST, BROOKE.

Agnes – <Takei>Oh my.</Takei>

A3G – Yes, folks, Apartment 3-G has taken the next step into having characters refer to plot developments that are never directly conveyed in-strip. Nina’s mother’s death = Tommie’s piano.

Crankshaft – So Grandma Rose is Tom Batiuk in drag. I’ve tried to maintain some distance and sympathy for the witch, since the entire Crankshaft universe is set up to constantly reiterate how horrible she is and how totally justified the other characters are for being horrible to her, but now I’m kinda having to rethink my position.

DT – The Death of Little Orphan Annie.

FC – “We, however, are part of the nation’s new class of subliterate chattel. Get this, in ten or fifteen years they’ll be calling us high-school graduates even though we still won’t be able to read anything besides txtspk! And let’s not even start with math or history.”

FW – “So why did you think I would have a problem with you two going to prom together? It certainly wasn’t anything I said in yesterday’s strip. Were you just fishing for a reason to feel persecuted, or was this an incredibly awkward lead-in to move the plot along? Anyway, you could ask the hideous old bag skulking behind the support beam, she’s being pretty heavily foreshadowed.”

Ha ha, oh Josh, you so naive! Why would Batiuk bother to name or develop his gay ciphers, when their only purpose is to serve as sacrificial lambs to get this plot rolling? You talk like it’s the characters and their struggles we’re supposed to identify with, when in reality the idea is for us to all Nod Solemn Agreement when Tommy B. breaks into full-on lecture mode and tells us that Being Mean To Gay People Is Wrong And You Should Give Me A Pulitzer For Saying So, Come On You Bastards You Gave Garry Trudeau One And I’m At Least As Socially Relevant As Lynn Johnston! I bet we see these guys once after Les (oh-so-enlightened Les) has gotten up on his soapbox, and then they shuffle off into the night to join all the other used characters who have fulfilled their only purpose, like the women at the book signings with inexplicable lady-stiffies for Les, and the troglodyte parents Les and Susan lectured about how Cancer Is Art, and…

GT – So Gil Thorp has moved from “Milford sucks at sports” to “Milford sucks at sports, but toddlers are pretty cute, most of the time.” I guess it’s good that they’re broadening out…

Heavenly Nostrils – …a-yup. It’s okay, Phoebe, there’re plenty of other fictional children with perfectly real invisible friends.

HOTC – Well he is a Tatulli character.

JP – Oh for the love of God, could the sublimated homosexual tension be any thicker? Dig those looks of longing and loss. “But…but…if I marry April, what will happen to me ‘n Sam?” Look, you guys go have your boys’ night out and admit your true feelings to one another, and we’ll just go hang out with Abbey and April while you’re occupied, ‘kay?

Lockhorns – If you’re going to dye your hair, why dye it that color? That’s not even a nice red or ginger, that’s ’70s Couch Orange.

Luann – TJ, please keep rubbing his face in that fact. Brad suffering is the only thing that makes this strip even an iota worthwhile.

Mandrake – Make your choice, adventurous Stranger;
Strike the bell, and bide the danger,
Or wonder, till it drives you mad,
What would have followed if you had.
- The Magician’s Nephew

MT – “Shit,” the beavers think, “he’s onto us!”

MW – Congratulations, middle guy in panel one, for wearing the Ugliest Possible Suit to a wedding! I mean, it’s only Bobby and Gina’s wedding, but still.

OBH – “Steel Ninja Teeth” would’ve been a great name for a band in 1983.

Phantom – “Of course, they might try to kill me again a couple times, just to make sure, but I don’t see why that would be a problem!”

Pluggers – Look, I’m not going to be down on anybody for not being a wine snob (I myself only began to develop a taste for it when my sister-in-law married into the family last fall, since she actually knows her way around this stuff,) but for God’s sake don’t act smug about not having refined tastes. Oh, right, I forgot, that’s what being a Plugger is all about.

Popeye – I was going to say something, but I looked up some pictures of cod, and I honestly think I would sooner tap that than Olive.

RMMD – “They had so much explicit and extremely erotic sex! Sob!”

SF – Admit it, Ted: you were planning to do that anyway.

SM – “That doesn’t make me…gay, does it?”
Poteet
May 5th, 2012 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

FW — Why does Horrible Becky’s Mom appear to be at least sixty? She’s the parent of a high-school student, and most such are in their thirties or forties or fifties. Isn’t Grandma Rose enough to fill the Dreadful Old Woman slot? Many older women are both open-minded and cheerful, Batiuk. You need to get out more.
This Guy
May 5th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#76): [FW] Didn’t Ursula LeGuin write a story about that once?
Berber Dan
May 5th, 2012 at 12:14 pm [Reply]

Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if you keep shitty wine in the basement. Pluggers don’t have cellars.
Illustrator Steve
May 5th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

MT – Looks like those DAMN beavers are out to DAM up that DAMN river again! You know, the Lost Forest river that flows through the southern part of the DAMN state!
But, THAT’S okay, because when those DAMN beavers are done building their DAM, ranger Tom Martin can hire Rusty to be the DAM tour guide. Then Rusty can tell all the DAMN tourists about the DAMN DAM those DAMN beavers built!

I’m planning on being the first VILLAINOUS TOURIST to visit that DAMN place.

That way I can be the first DAMN person to ask Rusty if there is anyplace left around that DAMN neck of the woods where I can buy a roll of DAMN film so I can take some DAMN pictures of that DAMN beaver DAM, DAMMIT!
[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 5th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

Agnes should take some solo date advice from Tom Waits. There’s a guy who knew how to, as he put it, take advantage of himself. You start off slow. “Come here often? Say, I think there’s something in your eye…”

3G should take a leaf from Bill Griffith and keep the dialog but change the setting and characters in every frame, like in a short that was called (I think) “Situation Comedy.” For instance, panel one could use Andy and Chalkie from today’s “Andy Capp,” and the next panel could be the shot of Guz and Hamid from panel two of today’s “Alley Oop,” (which will likely be tomorrow’s penultimate panel).

Snuffy – Art Frahm is in heaven, heavily heaving.
RavenHawk
May 5th, 2012 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

@bbofun (#74): 9CL- “You couldn’t possibly not have your very own baby?” “No, I couldn’t.”

Okay, what does that actually mean? “No, I couldn’t” not have her own baby? “No, I couldn’t” couldn’t have her own baby? Are you having the damn kid or what?

*I was trying to “unpack” this myself. It’s like when I would ask a girl, if she would not object, to not going to bed with me.
Poteet
May 5th, 2012 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

MW — So all the people invited to the “special announcement” just happened to bring outfits suitable for a wedding. (Well, by MW standards.) Trying to understand the thinking in the Maryverse makes me feel like Sheldon in BIG BANG.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 5th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

Crank – “Let me tell you about my friend Eunice who died of cancer.”
I was totally not expecting Grandma Rose to turn out to be the author’s avatar.

Dick – Oh sure, it seems harmless now, but if you start doing shout-outs for one dead musician, after a while you’ll be doing it every day, and then all of a sudden you realize that you’ve turned into Fritzi Fucking Ritz. (I sincerely hope I am mistaken.)

Smirky – Now that I see them better, I realize they’re not gay at all, but a pair of undercover Mormon missionaries. Watch for trouble from that religion-hating old harridan at Audience Left.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 5th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

Henry – Poor Henry. Even when he keeps it in his pants, he still has some kind of cock trouble that leads to going off prematurely.

Nark Trail – Beavers. Giant beavers. Giant beavers with the raging munchies! I guess that’s how Andy’s back half got bitten off in panel 1.

Marmaduke – “I’m explaining what Marmaduke is doing to you, Dottie, even though you’re right here while he does it.”

@Datpaw86 (#5): Unless this is also part of your experiment.
Holy crap, you mean we’re still in the Matrix?

@Liam (#6): I wish there were some bulls in the last panel because that is what today’s comic feels like a bunch of bull.
Mark sees giant animals everywhere. He doesn’t need pot: he’s tripping balls on Life.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 5th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#37): Cartoon All-Stars.
Oh, god, I remember that one. Every single animated character today, plus Michael Jackstone, chant “drugs’r bad, mm’kay?” for most of half an hour. Because it’s important for you not to put bad things in your pristine little bodies. Now here’s a word from our sponsor McDonald’s, makers of Greasy McBurgers, Salty McFries and Sugar McShakes!

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#55): Ah, I haven’t seen a parking meter like that in a while.

@debussy fields (#71): 1. Get some Silly Putty, the old kind that will lift an image from the comics page.
2. Apply it to today’s Family Circus.
I had this exact. Same. Thought. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

@Illustrator Steve (#93): There’s a Warner Brothers gag cartoon that parodies nature shorts, and one joke that sometimes gets cut is “And here is a beaver, dam’ing a river.” The beaver puts a stick in place on a dam, and the river surges and knocks the whole thing to matchsticks, and the beaver jumps around, cursing his furry head off. (It’s always sad when they cut the best joke in the cartoon. They may have used this one twice.)
KreatureFeatures
May 5th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

MT: Suppose we are Rusty. What have we learned?
1. If you want Mark’s attention, start a pot farm. Your backyard is a great place for that.
2. For more information about pot farming, just ask your local public school.
3. Choose friends carefully. You don’t want a lookout who gives up after a mere stick to the head.
Poteet
May 5th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

MT — See how peaceful and content Andy looks? He’s thinking about how the next time there’s a perp with a loaded gun, he’ll get right behind Mark and shove him at the barrel. Andy has finally seen the light.
Chareth Cutestory
May 5th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#78): I’ll admit I’m guilty of perpetuating that stereotype. If I could say something in my defense, my main goal was to work in a way to put that kid on blast for tucking his tshirt into his jeans. Gay or straight, that’s just degenerate behavior.
Baka Gaijin
May 5th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#89): Wait, what? Tommie’s piano fell and crushed Nina’s mother? I did not know that.
seismic-2
May 5th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

@Santa Royale With Cheese (#32): Cripes, behind-the-times bellwether Beetle Bailey hasn’t introduced a gay character yet (besides the Sarge/Beetle slash) who I would assume would be called “Fruity” or something.

Actually, General Halftrack’s chauffeur, Pvt Julius Plewer, is always shown to be a fey character who is a grooming and neatness freak (think Gil Thorp‘s Lini Verde), very stodgy, slavishly devoted to Mrs. Halftrack, and who sleeps with a teddy bear. In one strip, Sarge sees that Pvt Plewer is eating fruit for breakfast, and he says, “It figures”, so your guess of what would be such a character’s nickname in this strip is not too far off.

I do hope Batiuk at least gives names to these two new characters, in any case. We need to be able to say just who it is we miss, after they both die of AIDS.
debussy fields
May 5th, 2012 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#99): Even better advice concerning FC: 1. Apply Silly Putty before even reading the comic. 2. Do not lift the putty. 3. Go on with your day.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

Jeffy’s smug/bored expression should have a patent attached to it.

Re: Big Bang, have a little BNL! : )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhTSfOZUNLo
Optimus Prime Rib
May 5th, 2012 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

The joke in the last Dilbert panel is funny because the guy didn’t misinterpret. He apparently spoke the truth this time.
Rusty
May 5th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#90): Horrible Becky’s Mom is a grandmother. Becky is now the band teacher and mother of Rana, unknseen most popular girl in the high school. So she is age appropriate, although in real life the only time a grandmother sets foot in a high school is to attend a band/orchestra concert or graduation.
Rusty
May 5th, 2012 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

@Rusty (#108): “unseen” holy crap that was bad.
[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 5th, 2012 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#94): More Art Frahm. I mean, there’s a lot of his work online, including a gallery that sells prints, but this Russkie site has the biggest… scans… I’ve ever seen of his stuff, down to the brush strokes. Hubba hubba!

@debussy fields (#105): True that, and I hadn’t thought of it.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

@Dagger (#72):
Haha, in our local “Tabagerie” (aka head and clothing shop) there’s a huge hydroponic setup in the back, and it looks like they are actually growing potato plants in it. (They are fun to grow-so funny that I can cut an old potato into chunks and get real whole spuds a little while later!)
Not a bad setup if you want some really fresh produce in the winter!
Sadly, I don’t think it can grow pancakes …
Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
May 5th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

@Rusty (#10): …daughter of Bull Bushka, a major character. Bull’s wife would presumably be a major character but I can’t remember her name.

Maybe Barbara? But everyone calls her Babs.
*Sorry, but I could not resist recycling that one, lame as it is.*
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

@Alfred E. Neuman (#30): Fortunately, I saved the text of my most refulgent test comment on yesterday’s Test Post. For those of you who missed it:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

// Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!
Doctor Handsome
May 5th, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

You’re all just assuming that the old broad is hovering menacingly at the edge of the scene because she disapproves of homosexuality. Maybe she just shares my suspicion that Gay Kid #2 is actually one of the aliens from the end of A.I. in a blond wig and hayseed-style dungarees.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

@Illustrator Steve (#88):
This could be a Darwin Award recipient, but Lord knows there is always a plethora of nominees available:
http://www.burlingtonfreepress.com/article/20120505/NEWS07/120505002/Police-dispatcher-busted-pot-while-training-Pittsford?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|FRONTPAGE
Gringo
May 5th, 2012 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

Cranky: “Let me tell you about my friend/spouse/significant other/random person who died of cancer.” That pretty much sums up the Battyverse, doesn’t it?

Cow and Boy: This week’s arc has been an amusing meta commentary on comic strips courting popularity, highlighted by “It’s raining puppies!”
Pedantic Person
May 5th, 2012 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#58): You’re welcome!
Gringo
May 5th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

@Zerowolf (#25): It’s pronounced “bouquet.” (Rolls eyes, sighs in exasperation.)
Gringo
May 5th, 2012 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#43): It was a good day? Did you eff around and get a triple-double? (Gratuituous Ice Cube reference)
Hei of the Zaraki Company
May 5th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

MW: Can one hope for a Moldavian wedding repeat?**

**(Bad 80′s TV reference for you youngsters.)
Gringo
May 5th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#55): If you noticed the jacket …
Sorry, what was the rest of the comment? I was both blinded and mesmerized by the headlights.
Mark B.
May 5th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#113): Why is it called ‘greeking’ if it’s all in Latin?
Mark B.
May 5th, 2012 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

@Rusty (#109): It was a hideous amalgamation of ‘unknown’ and ‘unseen’. Igor approves.
Ukulele Ike
May 5th, 2012 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#89): Mmmmmmmm…..buttered toast.
Doctor Handsome
May 5th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Hair dye would be literally “factory color,” so is Leroy saying it’s natural, or…? I don’t know, man. Either way, that’s a pretty weird funeral.
seismic-2
May 5th, 2012 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

@Hei of the Zaraki Company (#120): Yeah, Gina does have sort of an Ali McGraw vibe to her. And Mary Worth herself is almost as old as Joan Collins.
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#Y92): Gosh, Mr. Scudder! Your style of adding remarks to a comment with pairs of forward slashes seems to be catching on.

I’m hoping that some computer language designer will pick up on it. Then the fame and wealth I’ve always dreamed of will be mine!

// I’ll fire up my Weber with C-notes!
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

@Mark B. (#122): I dunno. It’s Greek to me.
Gringo
May 5th, 2012 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#113): Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!
Between the Latin and the closing comment, the truth is out: Nehemiah is really McElClowney, slumming here among the beefwits! Argh!
Gringo
May 5th, 2012 at 2:03 pm [Reply]

@Calico (#115): She could be Michael Kelso’s sister!
Doctor Handsome
May 5th, 2012 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

The most unsettling aspect of Grandma Rose’s story? Eunice was their pet bunny’s name.
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

@Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines (#112): Not to upset the applecart, or play devil’s disciple, but any reference to the works of GBS is probably worthwhile.

// But, you never can tell.
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

@Gringo (#129): Now that is unkind. I may be insufferable, but I can’t draw worth a damn!
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#89):

Well, I don’t know how the site can carry on after the BURNING OF THE ALEXANDRIAN LIBRARY last night, but if carry on we must…

Yeah. I know, right?

I’m sure someone better at it than I am could theoretically pull up their cached page that is somewhere on their computer.

I pulled up my copy. The discussion goes to Sequitur’s comment at 7:33pm.
But, I thought it went beyond that. I saved that, badly formatted, as a text file but the HTML page is still in my cache, intact.

What say ye? Post it unformatted? Let someone with more of the thread post it properly, with better formatting an proper tags, like bold, italics, etc.
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

?
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#110): Regarding Mr. Frahm’s Art: The inventor of Lycra has much to answer for.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 5th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

@bbofun (#74): Okay, what does that actually mean? “No, I couldn’t” not have her own baby? “No, I couldn’t” couldn’t have her own baby? Are you having the damn kid or what?

This is appropriate, given that the pregnancy itself remains in question.

(If pressed, McE will claim that this coyness has something to do with narrative tension, and he will partially misquote some Noteworthy Figure (bonus points if slightly obscure) to justify it, but in reality it’s because he’s making this up one strip at a time, according to whim and a very, very vague sense of plot arc and characters. Later he will write himself into a corner, leading to ungracefully lurching out of it by means of something like flashbacks or more pin-up art. Yes, I’ve been reading this strip for far too long.)
Mark B.
May 5th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#127):

#I’m not sure what you mean
”Comments can come in many flavors

–It’s an interesting query
#region extratext
/* but the best comments are the ones that can be hidden on demand*/
#endregion
Mark B.
May 5th, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

Wow, my xml comment got stripped out. I can outsmart this editor:

<–Comments can even be in tags!–>
Mark B.
May 5th, 2012 at 2:20 pm [Reply]

@Mark B. (#139):

>!–Forgot the bang!–>
Señor Tortilla
May 5th, 2012 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

FW: If we give these two dudes a name, they’ll either

a) die some unpleasant death sometime down the road
b) become universally unlikeable sometime down the road. Look–they’re already smirking.

Meanwhile, this storyline is not going to take any middle ground, and these dudes won’t even try cross-dressing just to make Blackburn less sympathetic.

On the other hand, keep in mind that years before, it was a prom that some fool practically Ted Kennedy’d her daughter, causing her to lose (at least) one arm, which probably caused her to snap and achieve some sort of fundamentalist perfection, angry at whatever deviants gets in her way. But this type of “Freudian Excuse” won’t affect the story either way.
Mark B.
May 5th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

@Mark B. (#140): <!–Hulk Smash! Me not so good at commenting thing.–>
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

@Mark B. (#138):
10 REM You have a point there.
20 END
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 5th, 2012 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#90): I thought Terrible Busy-Body was the mother of the One-Armed Woman? (I could well be wrong; I don’t want to waste any more brain cells on this strip than I already have.)
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

@tallyHO (#135): No, leave it be. That way we can all claim to have been preternaturally brilliant, and none can say us nay.

// Sure, I may seem like a somniculous beefwit today, but you should have see my famous Lost Comments on Star Wars Day! (May the 4th BWY!).
Poteet
May 5th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

@Rusty (#108): Thank you. That definitely explains it. I should have remembered that “Becky” is the band teacher, not a student. Now that Batiuk is starting a gay teen story, I’ll probably have to start following it again and will remember who the characters are. Yep, looking forward to that. *sigh*
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 5th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

@Liam (#12): I don’t usually point out typos, but “Refer Madness” has such an entertaining quality to it that I wanted to pull it out for notice. It’s like when a reference librarian goes wild with Teh Google or something.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 5th, 2012 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#146): Once again, we are thinking alike.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 2:40 pm [Reply]

@Gringo (#118):
“Oh Richaaaard!” : )
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 2:52 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#147):

I wasn’t gonna point it out but he wasn’t the only one who knows it by the title. Though, I am sure they pronounce it correctly.

Actually, now that I think about it, I have never seen the movie, or the movie by the title “Refer Madness.” The latter one sounds hilarious.

Doctor, I need a second opinion!

Okay, your wife is fat and ugly, too!
———–
Doctor, I would prefer to see a specialist
I understand. There is this one special list, it’s called Your Bill

okay, maybe not hilarious.
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#145):
Then so be it.

There is some good stuff in it. There’s great Poems. There’s a lot of dropping of deep, deep knowledge. I swear that comment that made me laugh for 10 minutes straight was the funkdoobiest!

Oh. Maaaaammmerries!
Of the ones that are left behind!
Nothing but maaaaammerries
of the ladies’ brassieres!
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 3:08 pm [Reply]

marktrail

Lookit the smile on Andy Dog’s face!
Idn’t that sweet?!?

Looks like someone got rewarded with a weekend stay that the Big Beaver Lodge.
Woof, good sir, woof woof!

(seriously though, why are all of the creatures in today’s strip smiling? what did you put in that strip, Jackelrod ball!! answer me that! and don’t give me the “answer is cloudy” or something.)
Écureuil Écumant
May 5th, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

Glockhorns: But for that matter, I doubt Leroy’s hair extravaganza is the result of him eating too many Frosted Flakes.
Écureuil Écumant
May 5th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

MT: “You’ve got to be careful who your friends are” — said to a mutant lad by his alleged father, as they squat and reload in their observation tower overlooking the neighborhood — have to be the most chilling words any neighbor could hear. Except, perhaps, “Care to join us for pancakes?”
stinkfoot
May 5th, 2012 at 3:25 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: A punchline about cancer? I am beginning to suspect that Batuik is baiting us. “Keep snarking, curmudgeons! When you run out of your clever little witticisms, I’ll still have a quiver full of cancer! Pew! Pow!”
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 5th, 2012 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

MT: Yeah, Elrod almost let the whole marijuana growing storyline end without the requisite antidrug PSA. Got it in just under the wire. Anyway, Rusty has already taken the most cautious route to being careful who his friends are, i.e. not having any.

Lockhorns: The guy Leroy is talking to is ready to bolt as soon as Leroy says the word “carpet.”

FW: “Disgusting! In my day homosexuals would never leave the house looking that dowdy!”

C-Shaft: Hey Tom? Don’t look now, but I think your subconscious may be trying to tell you something.

HOTC: Now we know where goth kids go when they age out of the scene but want to keep a hand in.

A3G: “Yeah yeah, I heard the whole boring story. Frankly I stopped listening when my name didn’t come up.”

6C: For what it’s worth, I like a woman with hips, so the lady speaking doesn’t need to hide anything as far as I’m concerned. The strip could still lop off the second panel without losing anything, though.

Phantom: 500 years of Phantoms, and no one else has had the idea of franchising. Ha ha, suck it, Walker ancestors!

DT: Will someone please reunite the missing hepcat with that cute little dog?

GT: It’s a trip. It’s got a funky beat, and Darby can really bug out to it. (RIP, MCA).

OBH: There’s a distinction between lying and ADD.

Popeye: “Less like a scarecrow” I get. But “more like a cod?” The mind boggles at the cosmetic surgery Olive might be getting.

S-M: Are you sure that’s your spider sense, and not your new dandruff shampoo? Because history teaches us that the latter would be more useful for warning you of danger.

RMMD: “And a wastebasket. Seriously, if you hurl on the upholstery, I will kill you stone dead.”

MW: Bobby and Gina are concerned with privacy. Obviously, so is the uncle or whoever he is in the background, wearing a Groucho disguise.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 5th, 2012 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

@TheDiva (#37): It’s Mark Trail. The “reefer” is optional, but the “madness” is ever-present.
Alfred E. Neuman
May 5th, 2012 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

@Illustrator Steve (#93): Your DAM SITE story is a DAMN SIGHT better than any of Elrod’s.

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#99) said: “…and the beaver jumps around, cursing his furry head off.”

Cuss Beaver?

@Nehemiah Scudder (#113) said: “// Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!”

Er,
E pluribus unum, cogito ergo sum, sic transit gloria mundi, pax Domini sit semper vobiscum?

I despair.
Cass
May 5th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

It’s always so weird to me whenever a story like this comes up, be it in fiction or IRL. Not because I’m surprised at people being bigots, but because the idea of anyone even paying attention to who you go to prom with is so foreign to me. My own experience going to both my prom’s a decade ago: go buy two tickets, put my name down on the list of people who’ve bought tickets so they can make sure they were all purchased by people at the school (hilariously, this list was also what they culled for the prom queen/king ballots which actually made it impossible for a couple that was actually there together to take both spots unless they bought their tickets separately, for more money, because only people who paid for tickets were on it), show up with my date.

The only time in the entire process that anyone outside of my circle of friends even paid enough attention to notice who I was there with? When we had our prom picture taken by the photographer and had to correct him when he tried to make us pose like friends. What are all these people doing suddenly paying attention to who teenagers are dating? That’s kinda creepy to me!
Dr. Weird
May 5th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

@MySpoonIsTooBig (#53):

FW: 1)What with the time skips is this really the FIRST gay couple at that school who went to prom together? Really?

Maybe they’re the first gay couple that made it all the way to prom time without being torn asunder by cancer, AIDS, PTSD or auto accident.

The fact that they’re the only couple showing an interest in the prom, or dating at all, says a great deal about a strip nominally about high school life and allegedly populated with a number of high school characters. But nothing good.
John C Fremont
May 5th, 2012 at 4:03 pm [Reply]

JP – Ah. Happy camper. Road Queen. I get it. Ha, ha.

I made the float? Really? It’s not being pulled by a couple of “happy campers” in a Road Queen, is it?
seismic-2
May 5th, 2012 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

MT: “You’ve got to be careful who your friends are, too.”

If those two guys in FW are worried that their presence at the Prom may be disruptive, just wait until Rusty tries to buy a ticket to his high school Prom. After all, his only “friend” will be a giant beaver.
Dr. Weird
May 5th, 2012 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

@seismic-2 (#162):

Dare I suggest that Rusty’s easy access to beaver will make him quite popular in the high school community?
jasper jinx
May 5th, 2012 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

Yes, Becky Blackburn’s mother in Funky Winkerbean DID have her future son-in-law haled into court over objectionable content in his comics shop. But believe it or don’t, I own a published collection of pre-jump FW strips from the mid-nineties. And I can tell you that back even earlier than the comics caper… after the original cast had reached adulthood, but while Les and Lisa were still tensing about whether to get engaged… Mrs. Blackburn tried to have Les fired from his job teaching English. This was over a school literary magazine poem by Susan Smith… who as a student had a crush on Les and who later contended unsuccessfully with Keisha for Les’s widowed hand. “We just want our kids to get an education,” Mrs. Blackburn told the public hearing. “We’re not interested in them expressing themselves… I don’t think that teenage sexuality is something our teenagers should be reading about!” The board finally adopted a compromise solution, despite Mrs. Blackburn’s warning that they would be “darned to heck for all eternity!”
By the way, wouldn’t “Les’s Widowed Hand” be a fine title for an open-ended creative writing assignment?
The Ridger
May 5th, 2012 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

@Cass (#159): Did you read about the girl banned from the prom because she didn’t have a date? Clearly prom has a culutral status now it didn’t back in the Old Days®!
Écureuil Écumant
May 5th, 2012 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

MT: While the humanoids talk themselves down from their post-bust buzz, Andy creatively visualizes himself as the pilot of the Jamaican bobsleigh team. Pass dem on de lef han side, Andy!
bats :[
May 5th, 2012 at 4:44 pm [Reply]

@queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#55): bats or turtles on the Daily Squee? Hey, I’m good with either.

Funny thing about the blurb on Comics Kingdom syndicate for Funky Winkerbean: “Funky Winkerbean began as a gag-a-day comic strip about high school life…” After all these years, I still consider it a gag-a-day!
Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
May 5th, 2012 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#82): MW — That ponytail is the very worst ponytail in the history of human hair, yet Gina is going to be married in it(?!)

But, as Mary told Dr. Jeff, the good life has made Gina “eccentric.” Which is a nice way to say tasteless and out of touch with reality.
And I’m sure she would never have been allowed to attend a prom with that ponytail.
commodorejohn
May 5th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

@The Ridger (#165): She had already shelled out nearly a thousand dollars on a dress, shoes and tickets.

What.

The.

Shit.
Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
May 5th, 2012 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

@Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#9): Luann – “We were just getting going when Shannon vanished!” So, the plan was to have your romantic evening with her in sight? Or was it for her to wander off, but be nearby and in earshot the whole time?

That may have been Brad’s plan, but it was Toni who called attention to Shannon’s absence, no doubt as a way to once again thwart his plans. And to add insult to injury, after they find the little twerp she has a list of excuses to leave. Those two so deserve each other, and TJ is an added bonus. I hope Ann Eiffel grinds them all into weenies.
Écureuil Écumant
May 5th, 2012 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

FC: Imagine lumphead’s visage superimposed on that of The SuperMoon as it rises tonight. And ponder whether his bored dismissiveness is like unto that of the Universe.

DT: So … Tracy’s on the trail of that hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent?
Señor Tortilla
May 5th, 2012 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

@jasper jinx (#164): She tried to have Les fired from his teaching job? See, she’s not all bad.
Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
May 5th, 2012 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

@Anna Nimity (#36): FW – My cousin Nonie does a comedy show called “Late Night Catechism.” At the end of the show she does a Q and A, and one time someone asked, “Should Catholic priests be allowed to marry?” She replied, “Well, yes, if they really love each other.””

Good one! In fact, I know a number of two-priest marriages. And a few are same-sex marriages. All Episcopalian, of course!
bats :[
May 5th, 2012 at 5:32 pm [Reply]

I wasn’t close to a computer this week, so I thought I’d be sorry to be missing the exciting climax of Reefer Madness in Mark Trail — then I discovered that most of it was last Sunday (and it involved jellyfish or extinct species or something). Still, there’s something rather heartwarming about Mark and Rusty having some quality time together on the old porch, isn’t there?
Ginger Irving, Romance Novelist
May 5th, 2012 at 5:44 pm [Reply]

Okay, so. We’re leaving pot growers tied up in the wilderness to die of exposure, but we’re totally okay with elephant-sized beavers stomping the crap out of our haystacks with total impunity.
Rixtremism in the Defense of Libertines
May 5th, 2012 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

@Chyron HR (#7): Every year I go to visit a friend of mine who lives in Oklahoma, and when I was younger I’d often be tempted to give him a big wet solo-sex-kiss right in the middle of the airport just to freak out the squares (as it were).

I’m pretty sure if I ever had engaged in such blatant attention-whoring behavior, my next move would have been to turn to any bystanders and smugly ask, “So do you have a PROBLEM with two guys kissing?!”

I could see me doing that, too. Although I probably wouldn’t have managed to say anything, but, smug – yeah, I could look smug.
CSB
May 5th, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: “Grandma’s locked inside her own world. Staring at that photo album all day long. What does she think about?”
CSB
May 5th, 2012 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

Oh wow, somehow I made the St. Elsewhere jump without even reading the title of the post to see that I was beaten to it. Feel free to delete both of my posts.
Liam
May 5th, 2012 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

MW-We didn’t want any press since Gina is still in the Witness Protection Program after her father witnessed a mob hit ten years ago which has kept us apart the entire time.

JP-April gave me a lifetime gas card and I am a very happy camper since I don’t have to worry about the cost of gas when I fill up that mini-mobile mansion we bought. When the peasants come to storm my mansion all I have to do is get in my RV and drive away preferably over some of the peasants.

FW-Shh! Don’t tell the bitter old woman but the white English teacher is going out with a black woman.
Liam
May 5th, 2012 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

MT-It’s hard to believe that marijuana plants were being grown so close to us and here I was going into town to get my weed.
The Ridger
May 5th, 2012 at 6:33 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#169): Yeah. And she’s a junior. I hate to think of the bill for her senior prom.
Mincemeat
May 5th, 2012 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

@Artist formerly known as Ben (#156):

“Popeye: “Less like a scarecrow” I get. But “more like a cod?” The mind boggles at the cosmetic surgery Olive might be getting.”

She’d just have to ask the surgeon to make her look like Victoria Beckham.
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

@CSB (#178):
A choice between meaning and nonsense and just not knowing: you can not read this or you can read this with the voice of Hal Holbrook imitating Mark Twain*:

Well now I know the truth of what it means to be old. When I was younger and my eyesight only allowed for me to see out as far as I could throw a boulder, I didn’t pay much attention to old people, especially the ones drawn in the funny pages.

True, I knew they were there. They sit amongst the young families and the single-minded buffoons and the meddling ne’r-do-wells who think they do nothing but good. But, I didn’t see them.

I would look past their presence along with that of the junior league soap operatic singers piping out one note songs about angst. Angst is an old word. It is even older than a crankshaft. Legend has it the word was first uttered by someone who read the first “Crankshaft” after too many years of reading something called “Funky Winkerbean”.
Angst. It just sounds like what you’d describe the look of a man who has been attacked by giant flat tail a woodland creature the size of a mountain. That’s a man who looks like he hurts.

Now, I do believe that some of these drawn old people, who are indeed otherwise fine people despite the poor printing, mean well. They have just been around too long and, sadly enough, are bad influences on the younger drawn people, the ones with problems of their own making who complain about them day after day.

It is fair to say that I am old, too. A difference between me and someone named after a part of a horseless carraige is I am not drawn. I can only draw conclusions. With that said, I bid you farewell.
——
*though it ain’t well written like Twain’s writing.
Shrug
May 5th, 2012 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

@This Guy (#91):

“Didn’t Ursula LeGuin write a story about that once?” (e.g., official scapegoat).

Yes, “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas.” Basically a thin (it seemed to me) fictionalization of a concept derived from a William James essay. Your Mileage May Vary.

As long as I have my reference librarian hat on (my Snark hat is in the laundry), Arlo in ARLO AND JANIS is probably wrong in ascribing “golf is a good walk spoiled” to Mark Twain:

http://quoteinvestigator.com/2010/05/28/golf-good-walk/
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 6:59 pm [Reply]

@Shrug (#184): I must have misunderstood you. William James (January 11, 1842 – August 26, 1910) American psychologist and philosopher, author of Varieties of Religious Experience, brother of Henry James, the novelist, wrote an essay called “Your Mileage May Vary”?!

// He was evidently a more advanced thinker than I thought!
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

@Shrug (#184): But good on you for exposing the Mark Twain quote fraud. I hate it how every good quote is ascribed to either Twain or Wilde by lazy researchers.

// “It was actually Francis Bacon.” George Carlin
seismic-2
May 5th, 2012 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#185): Your mileage may vary, but if you have a lifetime card for free gas, you can just be smug about it anyway.
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#186):
I know what you mean. The thing is they are usually very witty quotes.
These days there is little excuse for mis-quoting someone…… unless the person was misquoted from the beginning, centuries ago.
Mr. O'Malley
May 5th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#186): Always better to be safe and say Winston Churchill. And Samuel Goldwyn for malapropisms.

As George Bernard Shaw said.
Alison
May 5th, 2012 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

“Luann”: “Yeah, man, bummer about Shannon, because Toni and I were totally going to have sex THIS TIME. It was absolutely different from all the other false starts. This one was gonna be REAL, man. We were gonna go at it like bunnies THIS TIME.” *sigh*

“Lockhorns”: I have honestly never seen either of the main characters smiling before! Whoa!
jayjaybear
May 5th, 2012 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

The REAL lesson of this Funky Winkerbean storyline is going to be that even gay Muppets can suffer existentially in Batiukistan.
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

@Mr. O’Malley (#189): Were you here for the fascinating discussion some months back about the origin of the anecdote about the small island where the people made a precarious living by taking in each other’s laundry? It was originally attributed to Mark Twain (of course) but our ace CC researchers took it back to a socialist magazine published by William Morris in the 1890s.

// I believe we eventually concluded that it was originally said by Homer Simpson, in his Iliad Odyssey.
commodorejohn
May 5th, 2012 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#186): C’mon! That’s not Bacon!
Lucky
May 5th, 2012 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft – Silly me, thinking that Les is Batiuk’s self-insertion character when it was Rose all along.
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#193):I wish I had said that!

// But I will, yes indeed, I will.
Ursula
May 5th, 2012 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

@Santa Royale With Cheese (#33): Giant beavers….must be Canadians. Mark Trail is warning against Canadians who seem to be our friends. Paid for by some right-wing PAC warning us against sensible healthcare solutions.
Finger Quoting Marko
May 5th, 2012 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

FW: Quoted from Josh: “(b) any Funky Winkerbean strip time dedicated to gay teens going to the prom is strip time not dedicated to beloved characters dying in agony, leaving emotional devastation in their wake.”

Um, Josh, this is Funky Winkerbean we’re talking about, remember? “Beloved characters” is a bit strong, don’t cha think?
StriderGirl
May 5th, 2012 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

@Alfred E. Neuman (#158):
Sic transit gloria mundi? Oh, I know that one! It means, “Gloria threw up in the subway on Monday!”
Liam
May 5th, 2012 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft-Let me tell you about my friend Eunice who died of cancer she loved Mozart, Bach, the Beatles, and Ryan O’Neal.
Artist formerly known as Ben
May 5th, 2012 at 8:45 pm [Reply]

@Mincemeat (#182):

She’d just have to ask the surgeon to make her look like Victoria Beckham.

Yeah, soccer (or outside of North America, football) players have unusual preferences in mates. Another case in point, Bobby from Mary Worth.
Charles Guiteau
May 5th, 2012 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

@cartooncritic2544 (#38):

“Garfield is dead”

I am a Stalwart of the Stalwarts! Arthur is president now!
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

@commodorejohn (#193):
http://republicofbacon.com/2011/01/04/the-best-bacon-comics-period/
Timelady
May 5th, 2012 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

ny Funky Winkerbean strip time dedicated to gay teens going to the prom is strip time not dedicated to beloved characters dying in agony, leaving emotional devastation in their wake.

You’re absolutely sure about that? Just saying, “Gay Teens go to Prom” in the Funkyverse could easily turn into “Becky’s Mom goes to Prom with her Best Shotgun.”
gnome de blog
May 5th, 2012 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

Don’t be so sure about those friendly beavers. Back in the good old days when we had a baseball team (the “Portland Beavers”), their mascot was Lost Forest escapee Lucky Beaver. Lucky looked like he might push a reefer on anyone, just to watch him get high. There are probably some marijuana plants right out there in the back where Rusty kept him penned up before he made his getaway.

We never found out what happened to Lucky when the Beavers skipped town, making hollow our boast of being the Largest Bush League Town in America.
Peanut Gallery
May 5th, 2012 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

@The Ridger (#83): She might could possibly not have somebody else’s baby.
Alfred E. Neuman
May 5th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

@StriderGirl (#198) said: “@Alfred E. Neuman (#158):
Sic transit gloria mundi? Oh, I know that one! It means, ‘Gloria threw up in the subway on Monday!’”

Rats! I always thought it meant, “Gloria Mundi owns a defective survey instrument.”
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

@Rusty (#108):
I actually like this new word “unknseen.” It sounds like it could fit in as a snippet of dialogue from “Fargo.”
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

@Charles Guiteau (#201): I always loved that old song, the “Ballad of Charles Guiteau”. I think the first time I heard it was by Oscar Brand, back in the last century. There was legend that Guiteau himself wrote it, but in fact it was simply an old Child ballad, modified.

// Written, of course, by an old, modified child, Mark Twain.

// Just kidding. It was Francis Bacon.
Alter Ego
May 5th, 2012 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#110): If nothing else, it must be acknowledged that there is a certain, shall we say, thematic unity to Frahm’s work. But, perhaps Fashion Police or someone could tell us, if one is wearing stockings and a garter belt, does one normally wear the panties outside the garters?
Rocky Stoneaxe
May 5th, 2012 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

@Shrug (#184): H.S. Scrivener attributed “[t]o play golf is to spoil an otherwise enjoyable walk” to “the Allens” in Lawn Tennis at Home and Abroad, a 1903 hardcover book edited by Arthur Wallis Myers. According to your link, the more succinct “golf is a good walk spoiled” quote wasn’t attributed to Mark Twain until 1948.
Alfred E. Neuman
May 5th, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

@gnome de blog (#204): I don’t know why anyone would think that Portland is a bush league town. After all, you have the Trail Blazers.

Oops, never mind.
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

@Alfred E. Neuman (#206): Sadly, Gloria fell in amongst the heretical Theodolite sect (or “sic” in the Latin), lost her moral compass, and never got her bearings back.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 9:50 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#147):
*Snort*
I think my Dad would have appreciated that, being a non-pot-smoking journalist!
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

It’s odd that so many story lines ended around the same time in the past week or so. Suffice it say, I am bummed they ended the ways they did.

Mark Trail was neither caged for a spell nor dosed during his fight. Ranger ™ Tom Martin wasn’t invited to dinner THAT NIGHT to celebrate his rescue. Instead the fool–knowing of a (huge?) illicit crop– put out the word he is looking for some weed.

Mary Worth is still alive.

Funky Whatsupwiththis just turned a corner and vanished leaving one corner off of a love triangle…it was just an angle: a couple of randy dudes pining over a girl.

Popeye blew up a bush, all of the characters stood around for a while and The End.

Apt 3G and Spiderman…molasses dripping or morphine dripping: take your pick.
Peanut Gallery
May 5th, 2012 at 9:57 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#212): On the level? Why, that’s just plumb crazy.
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

Kudos to Bob Weber Jr. to continuing to encourage kids to draw.
I bust the Fox’s chops a lot (I ain’t in England; no one complains) but it is good to get kids excited about drawing and about learning to draw better.

Now, riddle me this Weber: does that community of forest creatures communicate via pantomime or what? And, don’t tell me that Yicky Mouse is a Universal Translator because I ain’t seeing him yacking!
A Woman of a Certain Age
May 5th, 2012 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

@Alter Ego (#209): Outside. For a practical reason.

Back in the day, garter belts and stockings were considered utilitarian undergarments. Pantyhose were a liberating step forward. Now garter belts are sexy, and pantyhose are for fuddy-duddies. Sic transit gloria mundi.
Poteet
May 5th, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#148): If we both take the dreadful plunge back into the Funkiverse, at least I can look forward to your comments. Misery loves, etc.
Calico
May 5th, 2012 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

@Charles Guiteau (#201):
Charles, I thought they did away with you! At least that’s what I heard when I had (I wish!) supper with Simon Morley and his rooming mates in NYC in “Time and Again.”
Poteet
May 5th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

@A Woman of a Certain Age (#217): Having lived in both the garter belt and pantihose eras, I consider nylons to be torture devices designed by Satan no matter how they are held up.
Sgt. Stoned
May 5th, 2012 at 10:08 pm [Reply]

MT: “Here, Rusty, try one of MY cigarettes! BWAHAHAHA!”

MW: Please let the wedding officiator be a clergyman from the Church of Satan.
Rocky Stoneaxe
May 5th, 2012 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

@Alter Ego (#209): Until the current reboot, Superman wore his red underpants OVER his blue tights. By comparison the person wearing stockings with panties OUTSIDE his/her garters would probably get a pass from most people*.

@A Woman of a Certain Age (#217): *Are you calling Fashion Police a fuddy-duddy?
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

@Peanut Gallery (#215): Oh yes. She willingly abused her clinometer, and bragged about her rowdy sextant friends.
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 10:27 pm [Reply]

@Sgt. Stoned (#221):
Please let the wedding officiator be a clergyman from the Church of Satan.
Oh, Sgt. Stoned, why must you tease me so? You know I’d like to see Mary taking on the devil.

I figure she grabs to people by the heads, pushes them together,
says “Meddling Powers Activate! Form of a Noseguard! Form of holy water!”
And then the nosey meddler gets down and starts asking the devil too many questions for weeks on end.
tallyHO
May 5th, 2012 at 10:28 pm [Reply]

oh yeah. the holy water is to mix with her scotch. natch.
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 10:42 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#223):
Then Ali Dade, the leader of the cult, taught her how to manipulate her own vernier, and she became addicted to mensuration.
Trillian
May 5th, 2012 at 10:47 pm [Reply]

9CL: You know what? I bet they’ll make Edda pee on a stick at the abortion clinic just to make sure she isn’t wasting their time!

Luann: Uh…Brad…if Toni didn’t get a sitter for Shannon, there was no chance for a “romantic evening”.

MT: “It’s hard to believe that marijuana plants were being grown so close to us (and I missed it)! We’re learning about it in school (from the stoners who try to make bongs in ceramics class)!”
Slug
May 5th, 2012 at 11:00 pm [Reply]

Anyone else find it odd that Batiuk has admitted an irate old lady to be his self insert?
Droopy Says
May 5th, 2012 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#226): So her behavior was the benchmark for insanity.
Nehemiah Scudder
May 5th, 2012 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

@Droopy Says (#229): True. And once she double checked someone’s area she always tried to demonstrate her talent for cadastration.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 5th, 2012 at 11:30 pm [Reply]

@Alter Ego (#209): I believe one does… if one plans to take off said panties (for whatever reason) while wearing the combination.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 5th, 2012 at 11:32 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#218): Heh. I’m already following it, good little hamster that I am (more that I’m too lazy to dump it off the roster). However, lately I’ve been encouraging it to sit so lightly on my mind that I forget it within five minutes… until I come here and am disgruntled all over again.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 5th, 2012 at 11:39 pm [Reply]

@Poteet (#220): Agreed. Pantyhose are evil: restricting, fragile, and hot.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 5th, 2012 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

(Meanwhile, I am lying here prostrate from all the surveyor wordplay. Y’all should be bound up in surveyors’ chains and moved out of the sightlines of decent people.)

(I kid, I kid.)
Anonymous
May 5th, 2012 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

Rusty and Mark converse while trying to hold their tokes:

“fffffffffp…. It’s hard to believe that marijuana plants….
“phhhhhh…. were being grown so close to us.”

“fffffffffp…. I’m afraid they’re being
“phhhhhh…. grown illegally in many places, Rusty.”

“fffffffffp…”
“fffffffffp…”
IagoPogo
May 5th, 2012 at 11:49 pm [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#222): Chuck Norris and Superman decided to fight on a bet. The loser had to wear his underpants over his regular clothing. Sic gloria mundi!
Nehemiah Scudder
May 6th, 2012 at 12:02 am [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#234): We wear the chains we forge in life. Link by link, yard by yard. Ye shall be visited by three more spirits tonight, as we’ve found the key to Dr. Morgan’s liquor cabinet. “Rum” brand rum, “Irish Whiskey” brand whiskey, and some blue stuff.
Mr. O'Malley
May 6th, 2012 at 12:05 am [Reply]

@Alter Ego (#209): ???! is certainly the word for it.
IagoPogo
May 6th, 2012 at 12:05 am [Reply]

Sic transit gloria mundi
How doth the busy bee,
Dum vivimus vivamus,
I stay my enemy!
IagoPogo
May 6th, 2012 at 12:06 am [Reply]

Apologies to Emily (see her play!) Dickinson…
Mr. O'Malley
May 6th, 2012 at 12:07 am [Reply]

@Mr. O’Malley (#238): Okay, I guess that doesn’t work. “???????-?????????”!
Mr. O'Malley
May 6th, 2012 at 12:07 am [Reply]

@Mr. O’Malley (#241): So much for preview.
Here Come ole Flattop
May 6th, 2012 at 12:09 am [Reply]

I had an nice snarky response for the surveying puns and then Dickens was invoked. Well, that’s just enough. Good God, man. Have you no decency?
ElkMeadow
May 6th, 2012 at 12:11 am [Reply]

If we can’t have a mob killing, then may we please have Mary return to Jeff, all ready to accept his umpteenth proposal, only to find out that he married the hat check girl at the Vietnamese embassy.
ElkMeadow
May 6th, 2012 at 12:24 am [Reply]

PV New artist makes for a new Aleta. That youth potion sure kicked in–I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look younger. And as for her husband hanging around dens of ill-repute, I’d expect her to throw his clothes out the window.
Droopy Says
May 6th, 2012 at 12:27 am [Reply]

The Amusing Spiderman: Does this mean Spiderman will die if we laugh at him? It’s the opposite of Peter Pan’s “Clap your hands if you believe in fairies,” right?

Smirky Cancerbean: Somehow it seems right that “The Grim Ghost” would be the comic book to keep the shop in business.

Family Circus: One of her, four of them. Bil relaxes with the hope that Thel will lose count.

Mock Trail: So forests and parks are great places for an outdoor experience. That explains why my bedroom campouts never amount to much.
Alfred E. Neuman
May 6th, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#234) said: “(Meanwhile, I am lying here prostrate from all the surveyor wordplay. Y’all should be bound up in surveyors’ chains and moved out of the sightlines of decent people.)”

I think you’re trying to hectare us. If you mean to mete out punishment by having us bound in chains and moved into the sightlines of indecent people, then all I can say is, “Well alright!”
IagoPogo
May 6th, 2012 at 12:32 am [Reply]

@Here Come ole Flattop (#243): Wouldn’t you expect Mr. Scudder to invoke Dickens? Methinks he had invoked a bit of Stoppard also, yes?
Poteet
May 6th, 2012 at 12:43 am [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#233): Yes. And uncomfortable to the max. One of the best cartoons I’ve seen on the subject showed a woman, just home from work, telling her husband “If I don’t get these pantihose off in five minutes, I’m going to kill someone.”
Nehemiah Scudder
May 6th, 2012 at 12:49 am [Reply]

@IagoPogo (#248): By Grabthar’s Hammer, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead was written by Francis Bacon, too.

// Or was it the Earl of Oxford? Why do you ask? Don’t you know? Do I look like I know? Why do you ask? Repetition! Fifteen-Love. Go again? Again what…?

Amo, amas, amat,
What a wretched plot.
Hic, haec, hoc,
‘Tis but a silly joke.
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 6th, 2012 at 12:53 am [Reply]

@Alfred E. Neuman (#247): *twitch*

(I’m actually mightily enjoying the surveying puns, having spent time studying a bunch of surveyors’ documents from the post-Civil War era, which I really liked. My brains a bit dried up today, but I’m happy to participate vicariously.)
[Old Man] Muffaroo
May 6th, 2012 at 12:54 am [Reply]

@tallyHO (#188): No excuse for misquoting, but a friend of mine on Usenet uttered a bon mot in the late 90s that not only gets mangled, but gets attributed to Booker T. Washington.

@commodorejohn (#193): I made a small shrine to a former co-worker, years ago. It sat on top of one of the doorways in my office. A central element was references to BACON, since he had this way of punctuating a quiet moment unexpectedly by suddenly shouting the word. I still heard from him from time to time until we moved out of the state.

@Alter Ego (#209): …does one normally wear the panties outside the garters?
Good lord, yes. Try this thought experiment: You are wearing them the other way. Now you need to go to the bathroom. (One of the pages I looked at had a commenter who thought Frahm must have been obsessed. I think what really happened is that the genre turned out to be profitable for him.)

@Slug (#228): Since you ask:
http://joshreads.com/?p=13517#comment-1111158
http://joshreads.com/?p=13517#comment-1111309

9 – “You ain’t not having my baby!
You’re a woman who’s not failing to be in love,
And I don’t unlove you for it…”
Der Schnärkïnätör
May 6th, 2012 at 12:55 am [Reply]

MT – Annnndd we’re done!
Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
May 6th, 2012 at 12:55 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#249): What particularly kills me about them is that the waistband inevitably ends up just below my boobs, and makes my ribs ache (the curse of the shortwaisted!). It is not inaccurate to say that I ended up along the career paths I have in part due to a desire to never work at a job where such uncomfortable garments were mandatory attire.
Poteet
May 6th, 2012 at 12:57 am [Reply]

5/6 MT — You got a lot of this right, MT, which is great. The advice about the firewood is a needed public service. Thank you.

I must point out, however, that fire does not “destroy forest land.” Human structures, yes. Forest land, no. The forests of North America have been periodically burning ever since there were forests and fire. That’s a long, long time. Think about it.
Droopy Says
May 6th, 2012 at 12:58 am [Reply]

This Sunday’s Mark Trail bears a disturbing resemblance to the story of Abraham and Isaac. I can hear Rusty ask “Why do we bring our own firewood, when there is much loose wood in the wilderness?” and “How can we fish when we have neither fishing poles nor nets with us?” and “Why do you build such a great fire when we have naught to cook?” All is made ready to end Rusty and his mutant obsession with fishing. And then, disturbingly, Trail’s hand is stayed by the Giant Stoner Chicken, and there is no rejoicing in the land.
Frank Lee Meidere
May 6th, 2012 at 12:58 am [Reply]

And Bizarro shows us not only how to tell a good joke, but how badly that joke can get mangled when you fire all your editors and rely solely upon spell-check. Unfortunately, the only people who will notice are all the fired editors.
Poteet
May 6th, 2012 at 1:04 am [Reply]

@Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#254): In my case, the damn crotch always tries to ride down to approximately my knees, and the texture of nylon against my skin irritates me so much that it makes me want to rip my legs off. And I too owe my occupational choices partly to intense hatred of pantihose and all their kind. I think of 9CL as the pantihose of comics.
Nehemiah Scudder
May 6th, 2012 at 1:25 am [Reply]

@Frank Lee Meidere (#257): Interesting. Piraro fixed it over at his blog, bizarrocomics.com..
tallyHO
May 6th, 2012 at 2:03 am [Reply]

Did anyone ever figure out what the hidden image in last Sunday’s Mark Trail is?

It was “disguised” as a patch of grass——that’s all I could figure out.

@Poteet (#255):
Wouldn’t or couldn’t it be just as good to use what you find on the forest floor? That’s what I’ve always done and I do believe everyone else I know, even if we were just “going out to country” and in a cabin and not pitching tents.

I’m not nitpicking, mind you. The strip is a nice message about being a good steward. @Droopy Says (#256):

And, now we know where Giant Stoner Chicken hides his weed. Obviously his currently diminutive size is temporary. He’ll probably “stone out”* sometime this week.

Though, I will continue to worry about the fate of the two Mark Clones tied to that tree and to that stump.

*how Flintstoney and square is that phrase?
Fashion Police
May 6th, 2012 at 2:12 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#222):
We cannot recall expressing a preference for the one over the other. Nonetheless, we have been accused of fuddy-duddyism before, by people with class. All of it third.
Mr. O'Malley
May 6th, 2012 at 2:15 am [Reply]

@[Old Man] Muffaroo (#252): There’s a similar scene in the film Queen Kelly, directed by Erich von Stroheim right at the end of the silent era (pre-Code, of course).

However, I bet it was a common meme in the days before elastic. It must have been becoming obsolete by the time Frahm picked it up. However, up until the middle 19th century it was thought to be obscene for women to wear any kind of pants-like garment. So that gives it only a short window of opportunity.
tallyHO
May 6th, 2012 at 2:17 am [Reply]

I can’t anything funny about this comic strip. I try and I try. But, the pay off at the end just isn’t there. Unlike which is so gag oriented the characters look like they are going puke by the last panel, Mary isn’t delivering the yucks.

I can’t even chuckle at the groom looking at his nose in the last panel. After seeing The Great and Magnificent Nola go cross-eyed…well, yeah, that look is a crazy, cartoonish glance…but seeing someone who seems to be hip-mo-tized by that hair metronome on the brides head…it just isn’t funny. Perhaps it is the presence of a cross in the same panel. Maybe a cross cancels cross-eyedness as being funny looking.
tallyHO
May 6th, 2012 at 2:20 am [Reply]

^Mary Worth (worth her weight in old) , that is….

Also, I vanquished the title of Snuffy Smiff when I wrote:
“Unlike…[Snuffy Smiff] which is so gag oriented the characters look like they are going puke by the last panel, Mary isn’t delivering the yucks…”

This time I’m previewing.
tallyHO
May 6th, 2012 at 2:32 am [Reply]

Slylock Fox
Well that makes up for the pantomime answer I didn’t get.

Slylock MudderFuggin Fox shooting through outer space!
AND Ickey Mouse is Mez-mo-rized, Hip-mo-tized…or did he get tased??

Tased by a Spaaaace Taaaaser!!!

Weirdly virtual reality fantasies rule like an iron will in a velvet space fog.

Now, if I learned anything from Slylock Fox today, and I haven’t, it is that there ain’t no escaping a fox who can escape gravity’s pull with his…Jetsonian space cruiser. It is a shame he doesn’t use it when his car is broke down. It would make Weirdly fantasy playland that much more interesting to see them jet through the…paved streets of ….Weirdly’s Nightmare Valley.
Black Drazon
May 6th, 2012 at 4:21 am [Reply]

Let’s turn away from Rusty’s teachers giving him the skivvy on how to run a hothouse and ponder just how long it’s going to take Mark to realize the megalobeavers are taking apart his house, board by board.
Cloudbuster
May 6th, 2012 at 5:32 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#186):

“Every good quote is ascribed to either Twain or Wilde by lazy researchers.” — Samuel Clemens
gleeb
May 6th, 2012 at 6:25 am [Reply]

I don’t know that I agree with you, Josh. Any character in Funky Winkerbean’s younger set whose sexuality has not been explored could easily be gay. So far, that lets out Owen the Idiot and his dank buddy Cody. Even Summer “Solo Car Date” Moore could, in the hands of a good writer, be shown to have been acting as she thought society expected, yet miserable all the time. My personal bet pick would be perpetual “bad boy” Cory Winkerbean, acting out in an attempt to hide himself from his fat Chamber-of-Commerce type dad. Again, a good writer could really do something with that.

Of course, if all you have is Batiuk…
Baka Gaijin
May 6th, 2012 at 6:35 am [Reply]

Pippa’s sister had a veil and she has quite attractive hair. Gina wore to veil to cover up that pony-butt hair. What cheek. What cheek indeed.

Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy. You have a lot to learn about women. First, don’t gawp at passing women unless you’re at a porn awards banquet. Second, they’re people just like you; introduce yourself. Third, when they ask, and they will, “Do these jeans/skirt/Mini Cooper make my butt look fat?” gawp then run.

Back to Mary Worth. With her chest puffed up in pride for getting these two crazy kids together, I’d have expected her to be nimbusing up a storm, the self-satisfaction incandescent around her beaming face.
Droopy Says
May 6th, 2012 at 6:35 am [Reply]

@gleeb (#268): Almost all of the FW kids could be gay. How often do you see one boy and one girl talking together? But at the same time, would it surprise anyone if Nameless Blond Boy and Nameless Brunet Boy turn out to be two straight kids who are pranking everyone?
Braniff
May 6th, 2012 at 6:36 am [Reply]

FW: I hope the creators pull a Ted Haggard on the old hag and out her as a lesbian!

FC: Will Daddy be watching porn on the TV instead of pro sports? (But the FC is not known for dealing with issues of the day the way Funky Winkerbean does. Shame on the Family Circus!)
gleeb
May 6th, 2012 at 6:55 am [Reply]

Slylock: M. le Comte is so damn cool. Look at him, grinning as he flies through space in his personal saucer.

Archie: More food. Could be asparagus with hollandaise, could be lamb stew, could be fruit salad. That’s the exciting part of eating at the Random Cafe.

‘shaft: Yeah, a good radio, with all those hot tubes, really coolled off a room. Idiot.

‘bean: And, because the prom story might have been interesting, let’s cut away to Granny-Cheatin’ John and Insane Harry.
The Ridger
May 6th, 2012 at 7:15 am [Reply]

@Poteet (#255): At best (worst?), fire destroys forested land…
The Ridger
May 6th, 2012 at 7:22 am [Reply]

PV: Lord Grunyard is “an accomplished drunk and rake”. I love that. It sounds so classy.
ArchieNemesis
May 6th, 2012 at 7:33 am [Reply]

Before it starts taking cheap shots at Josh, Crock needs to put more a little effort into not sucking.
The Ridger
May 6th, 2012 at 7:34 am [Reply]

Slylock: How adorable is it that Weirdly took his pet bat along with him?
Peter Parker Fan
May 6th, 2012 at 7:34 am [Reply]

Crock: A shot across the bow, Rechin declares war. Although, re: lobotomies, talent, and the level of art typically displayed in this strip, there may be some projection involved here.
Baka Gaijin
May 6th, 2012 at 8:13 am [Reply]

@ArchieNemesis (#275) and @Peter Parker Fan (#277): OMG! What brought that on?
Nehemiah Scudder
May 6th, 2012 at 8:20 am [Reply]

@Cloudbuster (#267): I wish I had said that!

// …But I will.
Écureuil Écumant
May 6th, 2012 at 8:31 am [Reply]

Crock: Someone’s jodhpurs smell awful pissy this morning.
Jocelyn Knockersbury
May 6th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

Say what you want about the Lockhorns, they go to better parties than I do.
Mary
May 6th, 2012 at 8:55 am [Reply]

Does the “party” the Lockhorns are attending look like a funeral to anybody else? Except for that one lady, everyone’s in black and the two on the right look somewhat dour. This makes Leroy’s comment even worse; somebody died and still all he can think of is insulting his wife.
CanuckDownSouth
May 6th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

A3G: It’s only pseudo-shocking, not Shocking!, to exploit a plot device 7th Heaven* used.

Not that I buy it as the Big Explanation and Solution. If Nina’s worked up about her mom’s death, why would she agree to get pregnant? (Shouldn’t she be hyper-worried about pregnancy symptoms rather than it being Scott who calls in Tommie? Or what about agitating for an elective C-section??) Nina’s problem is that Scott wants her to be more involved post-birth than she said she was up for.

* One of the daughters dated (married later?) a single father through death-in-childbirth. Why does my brain store that and not useful information like my students’ names??
Rocky Stoneaxe
May 6th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

@ElkMeadow (#245): And as for her husband hanging around dens of ill-repute, I’d expect her to throw his clothes out the window.

I pity the poor soul who gets hit on the head by dropped chain-mail.
Écureuil Écumant
May 6th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

MW, last panel: And she’s making her play with the eyes … of the tiger!
Nehemiah Scudder
May 6th, 2012 at 9:14 am [Reply]

@Mary (#282): Does the “party” the Lockhorns are attending look like a funeral to anybody else?

I’m not sure; I’m not really a wake yet.
Chip
May 6th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

“Crock” has thrown down the gauntlet! I was shocked until I realized that no one will read it!
Rocky Stoneaxe
May 6th, 2012 at 9:22 am [Reply]

Wizard of Oz — I smell a paternity suit!

Crock — “And then some idiot turned out the lights!”
Rocky Stoneaxe
May 6th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

@Rocky Stoneaxe (#288): IDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDID
UncleJeff
May 6th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

@Alter Ego (#209): I was in a strip club once when a comely young dancer halted her performance. I asked “first time wearing a garter belt with your panties?”.
Yup.
She went back stage and apparently got some lessons from a more experienced dancer. Fast learner, that kid.
Shrug
May 6th, 2012 at 11:34 am [Reply]

@Nehemiah Scudder (#192):

The “taking in each other’s laundry” has been subsequently pushed back even more to at least 1876, with suggestion it was already then an old wheeze; see summary at

http://tinyurl.com/7vlv8v5

(Anyone who reads through the cited posts there will learn my True Name, not that it’s much of a secret anyway, so I’ll have to hope there are no evil wizards among you who will use that to bend me to your will. Or to make me do your washing.)
Anonymous
May 6th, 2012 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

@tallyHO (#260):
Some of the other Mudgeons figured out that the grass patches might be a sketching of the face of The REAL Mark Trail.

Very hard to tell on a low res image, and I don’t know how to see the high res version.
Der Schnärkïnätör
May 6th, 2012 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

@Anonymous (#292):
292 was me.
Browns fan
May 6th, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

@Mibbitmaker (#58): Are the last three paragraphs here what happens when several college degrees and striving to be PC all crash into each other in the middle of an intersection?
Rocky Stoneaxe
May 7th, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

@Mr. O’Malley (#yy262):

Probably the tamest Art Frahm artwork I’ve seen anywhere:

http://s001.radikal.ru/i194/1103/39/de80734a8de0.jpg

(Safe for work — and everywhere else!)

P.S. On “Free Comic Book Day” last weekend, I picked up a doozy: Barnaby and Mr. O’Malley by Crockett Johnson, which reprints strips from 1942 and 1943.

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