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Mary Worth, 12/5/07

Fun possibilities for the “something” Mary is about to tell Jeff:

  • “…if you’re actually upset about spending less time with me, you’re more of a twisted masochist than I thought.”
  • “…once I complete my human-animal hybrid research, ‘ChesterJeff’ will be receiving all of my attention.”
  • “…I flew all the way to a filthy third-world hellhole to get you back from a rewarding, fulfilling career, so obviously I don’t give rat’s ass about what you want. Either you come back to my apartment and wheeze away while staring at me worshipfully, or go to hell.”

Gil Thorp, 12/5/07

Fun possibilities for the “something” that Grant and Jimmy did for Cully Vale:

  • Bribed Marty Moon’s doctor to horribly botch his eye job and facelift, leaving him with a permanent, frozen expression of stunned surprise.
  • Killed Marty Moon as per Gil’s instructions, and left his gape-mouthed severed head in the broadcasting booth, spewing forth prerecorded banter from an iPod they taped to his skull.
  • Made him team captain and let him call the coin toss, only to unveil an enormous “CULLY VALE IS A MURDERER” banner at the moment that all eyes are on him.

Apartment 3-G, 12/5/07

Fun possible ways in which Margo might try to help Ruby have some fun:

  • Taking her to a bar to try to pick up much younger men.
  • Taking her to her dealer to buy some coke.
  • Convincing her that there’s nothing more thrilling than the glamorous, fast-paced world of Manhattan party planning!

Family Circus, 12/5/07

Don’t look so God-damned smug, Billy. You just condemned your family to at least three weeks of accordion music and the sight of Dolly lurching about spasmodically.