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Dr. Drew’s love line

Mary Worth, 1/18/08

All in favor of relegating Mary Worth to Barney Google-esque irrelevance in her own strip so we can spend more time enjoying Dr. Drew’s egotastic ramblings, say “aye!” This guy is a non-stop laugh riot. “Hey, check out that thirtysomething guy with a haircut out of the ’50s wearing a baby blue shirt and an identically colored t-shirt underneath! I totally want to have sex with him!” “No way, blondie, I saw him first! He’s all mine!” “I know! Let’s both take him home and have a three-way!” “Sure, sounds fun!” That’s what it’s like inside Dr. Drew’s head. Then it sort of goes like “WHIRR WHIRR WHIRR WHIRRR” for a while, followed by “OOOH SHINY!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 1/18/08

“I mean, obviously I’m going to use it to buy meth. The hard part is, do I share it with you? You’re a little young for that sort of thing, but you did steal the cash fair and square, so it seems wrong to keep all the drugs I buy with it for myself.”

Apartment 3-G, 1/18/08

Oh, Lu Ann, you poor pathetic victim, can you seriously be aching for a kiss from Alan at this point? HE’S STILL GOT THAT OTHER WOMAN’S COOTIES ALL OVER HIS MOUTH! This is the part where we’d root for Lu Ann to stumble tearfully into the apartment, and, confused and emotionally vulnerable, and end up making out with Tommie — if either of them had an ounce of sex appeal, that is.

Pluggers, 1/18/08


376 responses to “Dr. Drew’s love line”

  1. pbrane
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:57 am [Reply]


  2. Jonathan
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    I’m surprised we’re not even more sure about what’s going on inside Dr. Drew’s head, considering there’s a lance shoved through it.

  3. Brown-eyed Girl
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    Now that it’s finally Friday here on the left coast:

    Happy Birthday Trotzenbonnie! May your day be filled with cowboys and buttercream frosting and whatever else your heart desires.

  4. Mr. O'Malley
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:16 am [Reply]

    FC: This is very scary today. That child is no more than 12 inches tall. It’s like a scene from The Incredible Shrinking Man. Unless the chair was designed for those 9 foot tall people that were being discussed yesterday.

    MT: Is having that dog along ever going to have some effect on this plot?

    MW: The perspective on that tree-trimming guy seems to be influenced by Escher.

    TDIET: Gad! “Mel Squeglio” is almost as good as “Barfley” and “Nubbia”.

    BC: Yes, we do need to be reminded about some of these character traits that have been absent from the strip for the last 25 years.

    Luann: Funnier than usual.

    Monty: First urinal ever depicted on the comics page?

  5. off-model
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    #2 Jonathan, I also thought Drew had been impaled through the head and that perhaps a good pithing helped contribute to his buoyant mood.

    As for RMMD, “Niki do you realize the tough decision I have to make here? Should I spank you with my left hand or my right?”

  6. lettuce
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:17 am [Reply]

    Is it just me or are all these old For Better or for Worse comics finding new life as ominous “Phantom Menace” style portents of future evil?

    Look at today’s whiney murder of all our rose-colored Foob memories.

    But maybe Lynn Johnston isn’t a syruppy hack; she’s laboriously been building a multi-generational, multi-decade epic of narissistic suburban malaise coupled with American Beauty-style futility, but without the upbeat ending.

  7. Mr. O'Malley
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:41 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: This is more challenging than usual, but let’s have a try anyway.

    I think there’s a mistake here. This one is not scrambled. She’s a well-known Serbian-Phoenician actress. But her name is an anagram of another actress, BESS CAJALIA
    5. SAM THONK

  8. Moon Mullins
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:41 am [Reply]

    An Uzi?
    For Dr. Drew?
    Colin Farrell IS Dr. Drew
    “In Bruges”

  9. Canaduck
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:43 am [Reply]

    Ew, that’s not a senior plugger, it’s a cancerous one. ABORT ABORT indeed.

  10. Moon Mullins
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:44 am [Reply]

    7 Mr o’M:

    Actually, a better movie starlet unscramble for #4 might be:

    Kuntt in Dress

  11. watterson protege
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:57 am [Reply]

    A3G: Sex appeal smex appeal; I’M still rooting for Lu Ann and Tommie to make out. What a fantastic yet awkward story arc that would be. Margo could even watch, smirking, from the convenient vantage point of a open door while putting in her two cents’ worth via inner-monologue.

  12. Mr. O'Malley
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:09 am [Reply]

    Introduction to Ethics
    Final Examination

    Please provide a full explanation for your answers.

    Qu. 1
    Which is preferable, to steal illegally obtained money or to accept it as a gift?

    Qu. 2
    Is stealing loot from a thief more or less acceptable than the original crime?

    Qu. 3
    Is destroying evidence in a criminal case acceptable if the alternative is freezing to death?

    Qu. 4
    Is destroying evidence in a criminal case acceptable if the alternative is merely being uncomfortably chilly for a few hours?

    Qu. 5
    If you promise someone not to get mad at him, must you keep your promise no matter what he did?

    Qu. 6
    Should you take a handgun along on a fishing trip?

    Qu. 7
    Is taking a gun away from someone who is threatening you with it considered theft?

    Qu. 8
    Is breaking and entering legal if the premises were used for illegal activities?

  13. Mr. O'Malley
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:13 am [Reply]

    10. Possibly, but I don’t think they usually do crane shots in that kind of movie.

  14. Al from Italy
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:16 am [Reply]

    -Wrong. Probably the guy who is hunting squirrels will be next Mary love interest..

    -And I have seen Lou Ann face on my wife when she discovered that the cheese in the fridge had transformed itself in a green thing!

  15. Mibbitmaker
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:30 am [Reply]


    A Quinn Martin Production

    Starring… The Phantom
    And featuring…
    Mickey Bitsko
    Melvin Cowznofski
    Osgood Z’beard
    Max Korn

    Special Guest Star: Shirley Jgjnbgh
    Tonight’s episode:
    “Death Murder”

  16. ChattyGenes
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:44 am [Reply]

    #14 Al from Italy. “-And I have seen Lou Ann face on my wife when she discovered that the cheese in the fridge had transformed itself in a green thing!”

    Your comment made me laugh! Thank you! (My cheese does that too!)

    I’m an American in Japan. Here it is now 6:45 pm on Tuesday. What time is it in Italy?

  17. ChattyGenes
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:45 am [Reply]

    #16 me. Whoops! 6:45 pm on FRIDAY!!!

  18. Mibbitmaker
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:48 am [Reply]


    FC: …His brain won’t, however.

    FW: “…No, seriously! He died of a dread disease! [The rest laugh harder] No, I’m serious! Don’t you remember where we all are??”

    Blondie: Dagwood… we all know where you can get help with that guy. Here’s a card. (Card: “Want someone Kelrasted? Call Charterstone Mafia. No questions asked”)

    FC (again): Hey, Jeffy, get a rocking chair that size and say “hi” to Edith-Ann!

    And that’s the truth! *PHLBBBPT!*

  19. Al from Italy
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:57 am [Reply]

    #16 ChattyGenes
    It’s 10.55 in the morning… also friday!

  20. yellojkt
    January 18th, 2008 at 5:52 am [Reply]

    Hey Drew, just have all the ladies show up at once to take a number and they can pull a train on you. Just have plenty of lube and a strap-on available, because you are going to be pretty tired from all that action your irresistible doctor pheromones put off.

  21. Burning Prairie
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    Poor, poor Dr. Drew, the girls are laughing at you because you’re walking through the park, gesticulating wildly and talking to yourself.
    Poor, poor Alan, you are such an utter loser that you are threatened by Luann?! And her dumb little flower pictures?! Wow, just pray you never walk into a Tole Painters convention, you couldn’t handle the blow to your already miniscule self-esteem. Loser.

  22. gleeb
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:11 am [Reply]

    Ballard St: How is it efficient to have to clean crap off a dog?

    Dick: “Ha! Next you’ll be telling me about people from the Moon!”

    Circle Family: Everybody wants to rule the world…

    ‘bean: Ha! Your tale of family illness gives us joy and relief! Pass the Beer-brand beer.

    GA: That mysterious stranger must have been a deep-undercover postal inspector.

    Cockroach: Has anyone ever called a teacher “Teacher ___”? Someone’s got a tin ear.

    Non Sequitur: The difference between fiction and life is that no one has slapped the shit out of Danae yet.

    Pardon My Planet: I do believe that’s Baldo and his dad in that red car, on a little road trip.

    Phantom: Still talkin’, no smugglers.

    Popeye: Swee’ Pea horns in on Popeye’s extortion racket. Swee’ Pea is gonna be sorry.

  23. Saluki
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:53 am [Reply]


    Archie: What kind of teenagers hang around by lying and the floor reading books? Shouldn’t there be video games and rap music going?

    CtoH: That would be awesome. That was always my favorite PE day.

    Shaft: ????????? In Ohio?

    DtM: I have just the girl for Archie.

    Dilbert: Sad but true. It’s a wonder that this country hasn’t faded away by now.

    FC: What the hell! That has to be either the tiniest little kid ever or the biggest couch. Something is wrong with the scale.

    HandL: Chip and Lois look like they’re shooting Jedi energy sparks at each other.

    JP: Someone’s gonna get laid, and I think it’s gonna be the guy with no legs.

    MW: Uh dude? Your fly’s open. Plus I think the guy behind you is hunting for roof fish.

    Monty: Mick Fleetwood is all coked up and he’s going to kick Monty’s ass.

    PBS: Aw, c’mon pig, the roof fish just snatched you from the jaws of matrimony.

  24. man behind the curtain
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    A3G — LuAnn is upset that Alan didn’t move in for a kiss so she could have the opportunity to land a roundhouse right to his jaw and futher emasculate him.

  25. Anonymous
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    A3-G: Perhaps Lu Ann’s new year’s resolution should be to get something done about that lazy eye.

    FBoFW: You know, if FOOB were Funky Winkerbean, Elly would have drowned those kids by now.

    FW: Speaking of Funky, have I missed something, or are these people just outright laughing at someone else’s disease? I knew it was going to get to this point eventually; I’m just surprised it happened so quickly.

    MW: I don’t know what’s more disheartening: the fact that it’s been months since Vera was introduced as a character and Mary hasn’t yet induced her to drive off a cliff in an alcohol-induced stupor, or that the real time-to-Worth time conversion rate means that in the strip, Mary probably just met Vera ten minutes ago.

    Spider-Man: So, wait, Spider-Man is in plain view making overtures on Peter Parker’s wife, and no one’s figured it out yet? I know the average I.Q. of whatever city those two live in hovers around the double-digits, but this is just getting cocky.

  26. Tats
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    ^ the anonymous above is me, incapable of processing basic instructions at 4:45 am. Holla.

  27. Brick Bradford
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    I have a pretty good idea what the two women behind Dr. Drew are saying, and it sort of rhymes with castle.

  28. John E.
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:04 am [Reply]

    MW: Why is Dr. Drew making ‘jazz hands’? Oh, never mind…

  29. Keg of Curd
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:06 am [Reply]

  30. TheMatt
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    Can the CC crew here help me out with a comics question. I’m trying to figure out what’s up with the last frame of today’s Cul de Sac. Is the kid at the far right of the last panel supposed to be African-American? Or did something just blow up in his face, Wile E. Coyote style? Or is he a scorched Ernie doll? Help…

  31. Pozzo
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    I’m sure the fellow in panel one of MW is supposed to be cutting down stray tree limbs, but he looks like he’s practicing for his part in the Easter pageant, where he gets to pierce Jesus’ side.

  32. dreadedcandiru2
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Today’s strip is the first time for two things. It’s the first time Anne showed up and it’s also the first time Elly revealed that she doesn’t really want her problems to go away. If they did, she couldn’t jolly well enjoy feeling put upon.

  33. Kilgore T.
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    MW — I long for the days of Aldo. Mr. Kelrast, we hardly even knew ya!

  34. Steve
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker: At first glance I thought Sam was pouring that coffee down Gloria’s very nice tight fitting skirt, but a closer look reveals a coffee cup. It’s strange to hold the cup that low, but maybe she’s trying to get Sam to notice her terrific figure. Good luck. He’s hopeless.

  35. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    ChattyGenes @ 16: Wow, Chatty, Tuesday? How many international date lines are you across? Say, would you mind e-mailing these numbers back to my Tuesday self? 9-18-19-38-47-11 PP 5 …no particular reason, just an experiment, that’s all! ha ha!

    Filthy Asstroll @ 65 yesterthread: Well, that’s strike two for you. Oops! Sorry, I mistyped your nickname there. Meant to say “Filthy Assistant“. I’m sure I don’t know how that happened! Gosh, that’s embarassing! Sure wish I had hit “Preview” before posting this!

  36. GotFuzzy
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Trotzenbonnie, from yester-yester-yesterthread: Thanks! I feel the same about all y’all here. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t learn something, have a memory dredged up and laugh so hard that I alarm my cats. And happy birthday!

    TheMatt from above: The best I can tell is that the kid rubbed the cupcake all over his face. Yeah, I can’t find the funny either.

    C’shaft: That’s not a volcano, it’s a hellmouth. At least that would explain the free-floating hostility, rampant terminal condtions and unending ironic maimings that Batiuk revels in.

    FW: See what I mean?

    H&L: Double finger-quotin’ Margo action! But what the hell is Lois wearing? A bathrobe and nightie to watch a movie with her son? A slip that’s a good inch longer than her shapeless smock dress? But thanks to Brooke, we know she’s wearing a tiger-print thong.

    MW: Please oh please, give us a couple of more days of Dr. Drew making jazz hands and thinking to himself while others point and stare. Hey, it’s better that Mary spouting platitudes, and you know we’ll get back to that eventually.

    Shoe: So this is what it takes to get banned from the Chron–an unfunny joke about a dead pet. Brookins amps up the hate, but Batiuk pulls away by mining the mother lode of disease humor.

  37. jdeuel
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    just gonna rant about Loveline

    honestly, the show is the same bullshit “call in a celebrity” and “take calls from teens asking if their penis is too small or if they masturbate too often” every single day. I wouldn’t hear it at all if it weren’t for damned coworkers. Damn you dr. drew. Damn you.

  38. Eric the Baker
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    I’ve been pondering on and off for a while the subject of, which of the Patterson clan is most dysfuntional. There are arguements to be made for all. Lizardbreath had an early lead, with her serious of failed relationships and pursuing Anthnerd. Mike is a strong entry with his self-loathing and pathetic meandering writing, as well as questionable parenting skills. Elly, of course, is a contender with her incessant moaning.

    It recently came to me though, that the MOST dysfunctional of all has to be… John! That’s right, John Patterson, DDS.

    Here’s my reasoning. Elly has three children, Mike, Liz and April. That means that John must have put his “thingy” inside Elly at least three times in the past thirty years. We all know how unattractive physically Elly is, she never fails to remind us of it at least 3x a week. We all know about her short temper and snapping. John must have willfully ignored all of this at least three times in the past thirty years to get into a romantic situation with Elly. UGH!

    No wonder he plays with his trains so much these days!

  39. Hank
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    RE: Spiderman. One day he’s afraid to punch a guy as Peter Parker to defend MJ because it would compromise his secret ID. The next day he’s making out with MJ as Spiderman in the middle of a NYC street. Obviously, his motivation has less to do with a secret ID and more to do with him having a costume fetish.

  40. MysteryGrape
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

    FW: I believe the woman is referring to a clinic for band leaders. Understandable why,given that it’s a Batiuk strip ,one would misunderstand.

  41. Loppie Scaduto
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    Friday’s MT: contains not one iota of new information, and advances the plot not one whit. Therefore, I am forced to conclude that the only purpose today’s episode serves is as a breather, a slackening of the breakneck pace of relentless edge-o’-yer-seat action that has characterized the strip throughout the entire Bull Malone arc.

    Jack Elrod, sir, you are a true master of story pacing, and I salute ye.

  42. Brendon
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    A3G: I haven’t laughed at a comic as much as I did at panel three in ages.

  43. Perky Bird
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    MW: I can’t help but feel that guy with the tree cutter is a metaphor. Watch out, Dr. Drew—Vera’s gonna have you neutered!

  44. mav
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    25 – Being that IQ is determined on a bell curve, with the average always being 100, it’s a safe bet that the average IQ in any city “hovers around the double-digits.”

  45. Allie Cat
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    Luann – She has to wee? WTF? Who says that? Take a leak or a piss, pee, urinate – any of those I could imagine.

    Bernice needs to get a damn life.

    And Luann needs to stay the hell away from Ben and concentrate on someone her own age. Maybe Gunther? Or hell, experiment with some drugs with Knute and then get freaky-freaky.

  46. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    MW: What those two lovely ladies are really saying to each other is, “Look at that dink in the too-small rugby shirt. What is he, rehearsing Godspell?

    FC: Jeffy? You’re still the same size you were in mom’s second trimester. It’s time to face facts, my friend.

    6C: But our ick factor goes up to 11.

    Agnes: “Schoolgirl, 8, causes food poisoning epidemic.”

    BB: Miss Buxley’s wide-eyed look of alarm is caused by the sound of Killer’s erection thumping the side of her desk. Luckily, she had the foresight to stock up on pepper spray.

    H&L: So in his spare time, Chip runs the projector for screenings of “The Magnificent Ambersons” and “Light in August” for a roomful of black sweaters? This is information that Walker & Browne have not been sharing with us.

    PreTeena: Does stick have Winkerbean envy or what?

    BSt: Clever idea, but shouldn’t the smaller dog be on top?

    GA: So now we learn that any nut can call the post office with a petty complaint and get a mail carrier placed on unpaid leave, with no chance for review. Color me dubious.

    S$th: Well put, Ted.

    GT: I’d like to know how those girls can concentrate on the game with those artillery shells exploding in the background.

    SFx: Slylock is faced with the disturbing possibility that all his anthropomorphic friends are really just human actors. Soon he’ll be obsessively watching DVD’s of “The OC” to see if anyone walks like Cassandra.

    Blondie: How can he be stalking you if you’re the one who always goes to him?

    Momma: Don’t get too excited, Sonia. The MD stands for “Meth Dealer.”

  47. The Battiuk Conspiracy
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    Steve at #34: I don’t think there’s any coincidence that shortly before showing up late at work on Monday (or WETF day it was), Sam had a “second cup of coffee” with Red, and now, Sam is having another “second cup of coffee” with his secretary (WETF her name is). I’m beginning to think that perhaps Sam isn’t the gonadless, Ken-doll we’ve always assumed him to be. Rather, the JP authors take the 50s-era movie approach to sex, but depicting it with coffee rather than cigarettes…

  48. Deena in OR
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

    45-”Or hell, experiment with some drugs with Knute and then get freaky-freaky.”

    That’s a one way ticket to ‘Juno’-land.

    Good movie, by the way.

  49. gkl
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    MT: So Andy needs to listen to 10 more miles of this crap? I thought Mark Trail was against cruelty to animals.

    Pluggers: Ew. Although, that wrinkled forehead is the closest approximation to a brain that the average plugger is ever going to come in contact with.

    GA: Emergency placement? Emergency? What constitutes a postal emergency? Is Mac’s malfeasance leading to another Kevin Costner movie?

  50. Girl Reporter
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    “He lost both legs…stepped on a land mine! He has two prosthetic legs and gets along fine, according to Randy! As if that wasn’t enough, he’s also taking care of his dying mother!”

    And Gloria gives that Carrie-Fisher-in-When-Harry-Met-Sally look. The one when Carrie turned down the corner of the index card and excitedly sighed “mahhhhhhhrrrrrrried!”.

  51. Inspector Dim
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Earlier Spider-Man: Oh no! I’d better get out of here before Simon Krandis figures out that MJ is my wife!

    Today’s Spider-Man: I’m totally going to make out with MJ in the middle of a public street while still in my Spider-Man costume. Yeah!

  52. Sarah Marie
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    Is the guy in the first panel of MW fishing for squirrels?

  53. Motorposus
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    I seldom bother to read Rex Morgan because its plodding brand of noir (or whatever it’s supposed to be) just bores me. My lazy question: do these characters always sport such odd toupees? Or are these harsh zig-zags supposed to suggest that they’ve been roughing it (or, depending on their relationship, “roughing it”)?

  54. AtomicDog
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

    BB from yerterday – It would be a hoot if, a few weeks form now, we find out that Chip had taken Miss Blips up on her offer, and they have been going at it ever since like a couple of crazed weasels.

    It would serve Ms. “I can never get a date” Buxley right.

  55. man behind the curtain
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    MW — What the two women are saying
    Blonde — Do you see what he’s thinking?
    Brunette — Yeah. Take a number my ass. I hope he’s not expecting it to be number 69.

  56. AtomicDog
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley – That makes it official – this is not the USPS of Earth-Prime.

  57. McManx
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Pluggers — Eeeek! Old pluggers are eventually exposed as Klingons. Then they commit ritual suicide.

    RMMD — “Niki, do you realize the tough decision I have to make? Either I build a fire with this stolen money or I keep the money and build a fire with your bones which I will dissect from your body as soon as I’ve killed you”… Oh, shit, that’s an EASY decision.

  58. AtomicDog
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    45 Allie Cat: Jamie and Adam say it all the time on Mythbusters.

  59. yerwoodman
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:57 am [Reply]

    GT: I’ve read it five times and I still don’t understand panel 1–why wouldn’t be the coach be open? Is this some inside joke with the team about her social consciousness or sexual proclivities? I think there’s a difference between “open” and “not allowed by the rules of the game to participate.”

  60. Len
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:59 am [Reply]

    #30 (The Matt) — That’s Dill. He’s very messy. And covered in blue cupcake icing.

    Aren’t you glad you asked?

  61. AtomicDog
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:01 am [Reply]

    Popeye – Swee’pea: You’ve got a nice joint here. It’d be a shame if anythin’ happened to it.

  62. commodorejohn
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:03 am [Reply]

    Blondie – Please let this turn into a storyline.

    Crankshaft – Okay, Batiuk appears to have officially snapped, but it’s definitely improved the quality of his comic.

    DT – Okay, I’m officially very confused now. The brother was the murderer, but the governor wants to kill the sister for some reason?

    FC – This just keeps getting funnier. Jeffy’s got to be smaller in this picture than Kittycat.

    FOOB – So what’s more awful here: that Elly thinks she should be paid to do what the giant majority of other mothers do without complaint, or that Liz’s diaper is drawn in such a way that it looks like tailfeathers?

    FW – Yup, this is Funky Winkerbean, all right.

    GA – So…um…what was the point of this storyline, again?

    H&L – I actually laughed out loud at Hi & Lois today.

    Luann – This keeps getting more horrible. If it turns into waterworks as it’s threatening to do, I’m going to personally hunt Evans down and kill him.

    MT – And then the ginormous deer lifted its head up suddenly and impaled the plane on one of its monolithic antler spikes. Mark Trail was saved by the power of Nature!

    MW – Dang, it’s gonna be time for Dancin’ Drew II: Electric Boogaloo pretty soon.

    RMMD – This is starting to look suspiciously like one of those homosexuality-themed Chick Tracts, visually.

    Shoe – I saw this was disabled in the Chron’s comics list today, so naturally I had to check it out. I can’t think of any possible way to construe this as offensive unless Houston is the home of the credit card industry or something, so I guess the Chron must be dropping it to see if anybody actually likes it. (Probable answer: no.)

    SM – Lord, Peter Parker gets more action than Sam Driver.

    Edison Lee – What the…? Edison Lee, who only yesterday was advocating more government control of stuff, is suddenly complaining about eminent domain, put in place by the very sort of people he usually worships? There’s a TDIET in here, but Al Scaduto left us too soon.

  63. kostia
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    What the hell is that dude with the harpoon doing?

  64. Mibbitmaker
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    MW: Dr. Drew Pinhead, you deluded fool. You think you guys are Sam & Diane, but hell, you aren’t even Bill & Monica! (Has it been 10 years already?? Yikes!)

    A3G: LuAnn, you should know that Dan Quayle over there is no good for you. For one thing, there’d be no smart one between you! There’s a reason you don’t see George W. Bush fooling around with Jessica Simpson.
    …Well, besides the kind of thing referenced in my MW comment above, of course.

    GT: Anne Mayer isn’t doing what the narration says, she’s just running around holding the ball up in the air. No foul’s been called, the game’s fixed! (which Dr. Drew in MW should be, come to think of it)

  65. Bunnë
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    MW: Seriously, what is going on in the background in panel 1? Is that a land surveyor? Or a tree-trimmer? Is this some kind of whacked-out Mr. Rogers people-in-your-neighborhood concept?

  66. Uncle Lumpy
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    #65 Bunnë –

    That’s a tamping rod. Drew is Phineas Gage — it explains the mood swings.

  67. Muffaroo
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Pluggers are to sincere that the closest they ever come to being two-faced is when their top fur falls off, revealing a horrible rudimentary second face that slowly gains definition as its owner nears the inevitable grave.*

    *Note: What we call a “ditch,” a Plugger calls a “plot.” A Plugger’s gravestone is one of those little wooden crosses by the roadside, decorated with plastic flowers and a necrotic teddy bear.

  68. Muffaroo
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    Since I can’t send them to Al any more, here’s the most recent TDIET to occur to me:

    When Muffaroo’s driving the Roomobile and needs a lane, ‘courtesy of the road’ clearly demands that somebody let him in. (“Oh, please, please!”)

    But once he’s in that lane, he’ll defend it against all comers. (“You can just wait for it, #@%* granny!”)

  69. GotFuzzy
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    yerwoodman, let’s not get too pedantic on I?GT. I mean, that’s something that an actual high school basketball coach would say, and that actual players would understand. Much as monkeys and typewriters will eventually produce Shakespeare, Rubin sometimes stumbles upon realistic dialog. That’ll have to do for 2008, however.

  70. biiirdmaaan!
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Six Chix That is an image that will continue haunting me to my grave.

  71. Schorschi
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Lu Ann not sexy? You’re telling me you can look at that cross-eyed beauty in panel three and your heart doesn’t just melt?

  72. The Grandstanding Oddball
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Am I to understand that Mary Worth actually WANTS Drew to look like a total dickhole? Because I was under the impression, thus far, that we were supposed to sort of feel for the guy, in the same way that we are _supposed_ to appreciate Mary’s persistent meddling.

  73. bats :[
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    12. Mr. O’Malley: oh, crap! Now I’m really confused!

    Pluggers: that’s it? That’s the funny for Friday? Sheesh.

  74. Rainbird
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    Tats #25

    Well, they are shooting day for night, but someone hasn’t added the special effects yet. At least, according to the caption, yesterday I believe, that said that MJ was walking home late at night. Now why they haven’t added the night effects is beyond me. Perhaps no one told the artist to fix it.

  75. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    Today’s Crankshaft, continued:

    Panels 3 & 4

    “But it’s not the fact that it’s an active volcano that’s the scary thing…”

    “It’s the fact that the sides of the volcano are inhabited by so many werewolves!”

    Panels 5 & 6

    “But it’s not really the werewolves that bother me…”

    “It’s the zombies who were turned into killer mutant zombies when they fell in that toxic waste!”

    Panels 7, 8, and 9

    “But in any case, I’ll try not to worry too much about the werewolves and the zombies…”

    “Instead, I’ll converse with this nice young man who I’m helping by giving him a ride to Ford’s theater…”

    “This pleasant young struggling actor by the name of JOHN WILKES BOOTH!”

  76. The Uncola
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    With all due respect to the late Mr. Scaduto (I’m a late comer to TDIET, so I’ve really only been paying attention for about the last month), I think I can provide a wonderful framework for this comic strip that is versatile and timeless:

    Panel 1: Take heed all! Certain people have specific mannerisms that are conspicuous and often burdensome to others!
    (Illustration depicts such mannerisms)

    Panel 2: But behold! Dear reader! These people are indeed hippocrites of the most vile nature, for when you seek the same courtesy from them that you afforded originally, it is nowhere to be found! Oh, weep at the lot of mankind!
    (Illustration depicts further frustration, along with “The Urge” to take actions against the offender that are wildly out of proportion with the offense).

    There… now nobody will ever go wanting for TDIET at any point in the future, all you have to do is supply your own panel art!

  77. SecretMargo
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    25: re: FW — Okay, you know how much it pains me to defend anything about this strip ever, but I feel like I should point out that the joke is based on a pun – “clinic” in this case means an intensive training/workshoppy event that a band director would take his band to so they could practice with famous band directors, other schools, etc. So no one is making a joke about a real medical emergency here, though I agree with the person who observed yesterthread that the joke stops working when you’ve make death and illness such a theme of your strip, since it comes off so irredeemably morbid.

    I apologize if everyone already knew that and I’m being needlessly pedantic and dense. (It wouldn’t be the first time!)

    On another note, I’m still having trouble figuring out where are all these band directors work. Other school districts? How big is Funkytown, and how many high schools can it support? How far are these people travelling to spend amn evening in a gloomy living room, bloating up on M&Ms and beer while discussing comic books and making bad puns?

  78. Kevin Moore
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    “Wavy skin” joins “Clinton’s cleavage” as phrases I never wanted stuck in my head – ever.

  79. queek
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Mark Tatulli does the double-shot of win today. Lio was a wonderful snark, and HotC was laugh-out-loud funny.

    MC: that’s how a catgirl is supposed to wear hoop earrings! mrow.

    MG&G: I had the same look on my face as the cat did, after that lame punchline.

    RwO: clever! loved the little squiggle under the title.

  80. Rainbird
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    70 biiirdmaaan!
    Actually the first thing I thought of was, having had water break, is, if it is so cold that the embryonic fluid turns to ice instantly how the hell can these two women be walking down the street with any part of their flesh exposed.

  81. queek
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    While it usually isn’t covered here, I just want to add a comment that the last couple of days of Doonesbury has been inspired. Yesterdays in particular (“That used to be a gimme”) was wonderful.

    Take note, drunken duck, THAT’S how a political strip is done properly.

  82. Chris Opperman
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    It’s the middle of the afternoon! Shouldn’t Dr. Drew be, like, out saving people’s lives or something?

  83. odinthor
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    RMMDRex’s Tough Decision:

    1. “How can I fire my present collection agency and hire a very clever underaged worker to collect on past-due accounts from my patients?”

    2. “Should I praise Niki for getting some of the money, or should I scold Niki for not getting all of it?”

    3. “Should I use the money to buy boxers or should I use it to buy briefs?”

    4. “Should I or shouldn’t I tell Niki that I grabbed yet another hundred grand when he wasn’t looking? And that I’m too greedy to even think of burning it?”

    5. “Should I reveal to Niki how disappointed I am that the big bulge in his pants I’ve been seeing was money?”

    6. “Would it be too much of a shock to Niki to inform him that all the money in the world won’t bring back TDIET?”

    7. “Should I or shouldn’t I tell Niki that I am the King of Pouty Looks, so cut it out?”

  84. Bunnë
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    #67 Muffaroo
    I’m going to name my rock band “The Necrotic Teddy Bears”

  85. redlikerubies
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    #30- it’s the dark blue cupcake frosting the child is referring to in the last panel. He’s a messy little scamp.
    #45 – I actually laughed at Luann today – my sister and I totally say “wee” as a joke – we’re both mid twenties, but we wouldn’t say it in any sort of public situation. Only liike, “Dude, can’t you drive any faster? I gotta wee.” Yes, I’m not proud but I do want to stand up for what makes me giggle.

  86. Paperback Rifler
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    30. re: Cul de Sac, I think that’s the same kid as last Saturday’s installment, only today he’s been enjoying the blue icing so much that he’s gotten it all over himself. That’s just my guess; since these are preschoolers we’re talking about, he might just as easily have gotten a little too enthusiastic with fingerpaint or markers or something. (If you’re REALLY curious you might be able to ask the artist more or less directly through his blog.)

    And now, for some workmanlike snark:

    Crankshaft: Oh, so that’s what makes Mockaman’s Hill especially dangerous! And for the record, what makes Batiuk’s Crankshaft especially odious isn’t its smirkiness; it’s the fact that it’s about a hateful old man who treats his family and acquaintances with abuse and spiteful condescension and who apparently has dangerously psychotic episodes while he has a bus full of schoolkids in his care. Whew! I’m glad I got that off my chest!

    Momma: Problems with today’s installment:
    1. If Marylou, who is a grown woman, won’t leave this “Dr. van Gelt” person alone, then his most logical recourse to stop the unwanted advances would not be to escort Marylou to her mother and tell on her. Rather, he should directly tell Marylou to leave him alone; and if that fails, he should talk with the police.
    2. Marylou, in the last panel, looks like an organ grinder’s monkey, fez and all.
    3. Momma’s head looks like a giant, popped popcorn kernel. Man, oh, man; if Orville Redenbacher were alive today, he would have Momma stuffed and mounted like some kind of big game trophy.

    Beetle Bailey: It’s nice to know that Miss Buxley, if her reaction is any indication, isn’t one to encourage such horribly corny pickup lines. Otherwise, Killer would go on to compliment her on her fine “caboose;” and then he might reassure her that his “little engine” definitely “could;” and then he might check his watch and say that it’s way past time for his “train” to pull into her “station,” preferably repeatedly and with a huge discharge from his smokestack and a prolonged blowing of his whistle. Miss Buxley could then counter by talking about how she is about to commit a “murder on the horny vet express;” but unfortunately, there are far too few panels for any of that anyway.

  87. Deena in OR
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]


    Re: Point 3- I have it on good authority that all the fashion forward men of Rex’s persuasion are wearing boxer-briefs these days. :)

  88. Spotted HØrse
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    ‘shaft: Mockaman’s Hill is an active volcano! YESH!! Here’s hoping it goes Pompeii on ‘Shaft’s butt.

    BB: Oh my stars, if Killer isn’t just the full-bodied personification of a woody. Oh, and again with the
    quivering hat!

  89. Williams
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    Is Vera preggers? I don’t know how much Mary Worth time has passed since they were having things to do with each other. How many months would a pregnancy last in Mary Worth? Would it be like two years, or would it go the opposite way and be like a month long? Whatever, I still say Vera’s PG.

  90. Poewar
    January 18th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Drew’s got a song in his heart

    IO think it goes like this:

    Step with the left
    Step with the right
    Dr. Drew Rules
    I’m quite a sight
    Step with the left
    Step with the right
    I’m Dr. Drew
    And I’m gettin some tonight

  91. RCW3000
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    MW: I don’t believe that anyone has explained the implement in use in panel 1, but it is called a telescoping pole pruner and is used to trim branches that are out of safe reach. I’m not sure that the cartoonists are clever enough to have deliberately added this level of fore-shadowing to what will surely happen to Dr. Studmuffin, but what the hell.

  92. Allie Cat
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:12 pm [Reply]

    #58 and 85, in re: “wee” – OK, so maybe it is more prevalent than expected. Still, I think it sounds a little “affected” – but what do I know? I still can’t stand Bernice – apparently Ben got all the personality in that family. The question then remains, who got the personality in Luann’s family? My vote goes to Puddles the dog.

    Mutts – You know, they run the hibernation joke into the ground every winter, but I absolutely love the way that Patrick McDonnell draws birds. Actually – I just like his drawing style as a whole.

  93. Niall
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]


    Archie: To maintain that position in panel 1, in absense of visible body weight, Archie must be employing isometrics.

    BB: WTF? Two Buxleys in a week? Not to mention her own WTF expression.

    DtM: WTF: Did Dennis just inply that Margaret is reading erotica? Or at least Harlequins?

    Edge City: Common worry for beginners, but they should have been told by now that body shape does not matter for this type of dance. Staying on the “ok” level so far.

    FC: WTF? He shrunk again??

    HtH: Oooookay, he so asked for this one.

    H&L: WTF? Finger-quoting extravaganza! And since when is Chip this open-minded??

    MW: I already know that by now many mudgeons have given voice to the two ladies in the background of panel 2. Any number of disparaging remarks will be à propos.

    MC: Ashley day! Mrow.

    Phantom: I nearly spit an orange seed in the monitor. Aside from being horribly sexist, it’s a direct allusion to two women imagining giant orgies, right on camera!

    Pluggers: (directions to camera operator) Pull back! Pull baaaaaaack!

    SlyFx: WTF? Don’t tell me everyone’s in costume! Gyah! Is that Slick Smitty and Harry Ape’s actor? Weber! What are you trying to do to us??

    TDIET: Another Mudgeoner, no? And this is a trap I have successfully managed to evade!

  94. Gold-Digging Nanny
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Mr. O’Malley:

    If memory serves, destroying currency is also a crime. You may have another question or two to add to your ethics test.

    I love questions 4 and 6.

  95. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    #61 coomodorejohn,
    It’s not too unusual for the chron to have a non-clickable link to one of their strips. My guess is that it just means someone, somewhere missed a deadline. If they do drop ZombieShoe I won’t be too upset, but I don’t think that’s what’s happening.

  96. Gold-Digging Nanny
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    76 Uncola: Verily, a brilliant summation!

  97. yerwoodman
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    #69–point taken…Best not to delve too deeply into Milford, where bombs bursting in air ain’t just a lyric, and the jump shooters get horizontal…

  98. Plus a constant
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    If I lived in a world where people whispered and stared as much as they do in Mary Worth, I’d never leave the house without a harpoon and headgear.

  99. Little Guy
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Big Nate: This week, seeing a barefoot Coach John doing yoga just creeps me out.

  100. Anonymous
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    #98 Guy in panel 1 seems to have taken your idea to heart.

  101. Mariko
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know if these have been seen here, but Bill Watterson did a number of drawings ridiculing the cartooning industry. Here are two particularly biting, yet incredibly insightful, ones:

  102. Lindsey ^_^
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone think that the current Baldo storyline is hilarious simply because it’s so dang dramatic? “Will he punch him, or not?!?! I HAVE TO KNOW!!! OMG!”

    As for Beetle Bailey… woah, kind of disturbing. For one thing, isn’t it a bit non-PC to have a soldier named “Killer” nowadays? Unless the name is supposed to be ironic… what I REALLY want to see is a Beetly Bailey where these “soldiers” actually kill someone. That would be nice. Also, the punchline is more disturbing than funny.

    As for Mary Worth, I don’t know about the rest of the ladies here, but I throw up a little in my mouth every time I look at Drew Cory. He’s drawn exactly like his dad, and his nose is too small – it looks almost like a mummified nose, decomposing and about to fall off his face. And his eyes are WAY too blue and sparkly. I guess it works for Elijah Wood, but Drew? Lose the contacts please. And can’t someone in this strip have brown eyes? Blue eyes aren’t even that common. Anyway Drew, please, please change the hairstyle. If I have to stare at your hideously smug face for the next three months at least try to make yourself less repulsive. Thanks.

    Luann’s face in the last panel of A-3G is completely heartbreaking… in the way that you would see a child with Downs Syndrome and feel sorry for them. Sorry, but I can see why people say she’s not the brightest bulb in the hot-dog stand.

  103. BigTed
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    Forget “Dr. Drew’s Love Line,” I want to see “Dr. Drew’s [Comic] Celebrity Rehab.” It’s about time he threw Mary into a room and got her to detox from the high-dose Vicodin she takes every day for her “sore knees.”

  104. AhClem
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    The Minneapolis Star-Tribune is making a few changes to their comics page. They appear to be dropping BC and Elderberries. In their place, they are running four new test strips: Retro Geek, Cul de Sac, Ollie and Quentin, and It’s All About You. Readers are supposed to vote on their two favorites of these 4.

    I have mixed feelings about them dropping BC. A few months ago, I would have cheered like Sam Driver does when he successfully avoids having to have sex with his wife. However, BC has actually started to become funny again. It’s sad it had to go, expecially since the Strib runs so many more deserving candidates (Edison Lee, MF, Crankshaft, Buckles, Hagar, H&L, BB and — of course — FBoFW).

    I haven’t seen enough of the new strips to pick a favorite — all of the ones I’ve seen so far leave me with a “Meh” response.

  105. Gold-Digging Nanny
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    S4th — Ralph better watch it. Something tells me Sally is ready to go Kill Bill on his ass.

  106. TB Tabby
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

    In case you didn’t notice, Brenda Starr wasn’t updating for a few days this week, but she’s all caught up now. In particular, I’d like to point out the last panel of The January 15th comic. There’s only so much idiocy you can blame on alcohol and a sheltered life, dear…

    Also, My Cage fans will be pleased to learn that Rule 34 has smiled on Ashley. (NSFW, obviously, but it’s rather tame compared to the rest of the site.)

  107. Bunnë
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    104, AhClem
    Don’t know Retro Geek, Ollie and Quentin, or It’s All About You, but I have recently become a fan of Cul de Sac.

    Around New Year’s there was a whole series about how the little girl and her friends were going to become grocery store “cart herders” and everyone would love them. At its best, it’s inspired nonsense.

  108. True Fable
    January 18th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    # 102 Lindsey ^_^ – Nobody kills anything, not even bacteria, in Beetle Bailey. Killer’s nickname stems from the fact that he imagines himself to be a “ladykiller”. Back when the characters were being named, “Fable” was not even on the radar. :P

    Well, it still isn’t I guess. :-)

  109. Perky Bird
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

    #102 Lindsey–

    I think Killer’s nickname refers to the fact that he’s a suave, romantic “ladykiller”, not that he is killing enemies or anything like that. And not that I’ve seen him show any actual indication that he is suave and romantic.

    In fact, seeing those wiggly hat-flaps of his does seem to “kill” any desires Miss Buxley may have had.

  110. Perky Bird
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:04 pm [Reply]

    D’oh! You beat me to it, Fable! *shakes fist in anger*

    Oh, who am I kidding! Who can stay mad at good ol’ T.F.? (He’s the real “Killer” around here!)

  111. Shermy Glamrocker
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    The first Google hit on the Intertube defines the term as such:

    lady killer – a man who takes advantage of women.

    The last time I actually heard the term was, I think, on an episode of “The Beverly Hillbillies,” in which Jethro strived to become a “lady killer,” after discovering that Uncle Jed had been quite a “lady killer” in his past.

    I don’t recall the rest of the plot, other than it somehow involved whittlin’ to attract the ladies, but I do remember being frightened by the term when I first saw the episode as a youngster.

    To put it another way, Dr. Cory the Younger fancies himself quite the lady killer. He’ll be pullin’ out the whittlin’ knife any day, now.

  112. Quacks Like A Duck
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    Tomorrow’s Blondie:

    Elmo gets kissed by Blondie and says, “Now I know what it feels like to be sexually molested!”

    (Victimization is not funny, people.)

  113. commodorejohn
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    #104 AhClem – Yeah, the Trib’s lineup has even more dead wood than the other Minnesota papers. I don’t even know why they run Mallard Fillmore, unless they feel they need something blatantly biased in a paleoconservative way to balance out the blatant Green-liberal bias of Edison Lee, but then again, why are they running that pile of excrement? Buckles used to be pretty funny but has entered into the “joke/rinse/lather/repeat” stage of its existence. Crankshaft I honestly like, when it’s in its “cranky, humorously irresponsible old man” mode like the last couple of days rather than its “the Reaper is closing on you fast” mode. Hi & Lois and Beetle Bailey I can take or leave, but they do make me laugh now and again. FOOB, of course, deserves to be knocked off the page over and over and over again.

  114. Gold-Digging Nanny
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny

    Thursday SFx

    1) The lion in panel one uses Hydrience #40 Tawny Breeze.
    2) The elephant in panel two began life as a partial circle with three misshapen cylinders on the bottom.
    3) The bird in panel one has swallowed an S trap from a kitchen sink.
    4) The alligator in panel two swishes its tail and opens and closes its jaws when you turn the little crank on its belly.
    5) The silhouetted bird in panel one is a stork carrying a baby sun.
    6) The incident in panel two constitute a hate crime against felines under Animal Code 66-728. It’s a pity Slylock is too busy investigating movie sets to get on this.

    This episode of Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny has been brought to you by Clairol.

  115. Darkefang
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: Officer Hawa and Kay stare dreamily into the distance as they daydream about being gang-raped by a hundred sweaty men.

  116. cheech wizard
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    MW – Dr. Drew seems to be getting an industrial-strength mental floss – note the hard hat — to clear away all those unhappy thoughts. The women are smiling and pointing because the mental technician left a bit of spinach on his ear.

  117. Joe
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    Crank: Just who the hell has he been talking to this past week??

    FC: I’m not sure that even a newborn baby is that small, Jeffy. You look like a lump of red-headed shit sitting in that chair….

    Luann: God Damn I really hate that fucking Bernice. Luann, why don’t you do us all a favor and take her a jar of rat poison instead…..

    Cathy (must die): Cathy Must Die!

    SFx: What’s this……..Slylock Fox is actually smiling?? I suppose Casandra Cat finally managed to get him naked…

    FOOB: Fuck off and die, SmElly (see yesterthread for rant).

  118. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    #104 AhClem,
    After looking at samples of the 4 proposed new comics, I–if I lived in Minnesota or regularly read that paper–would vote for “Cul de Sac” and “Ollie and Quentin”, which are both too weird to pass up. “It’s All About You” doesn’t really seem to add anything to the couples comics genre, and the whole “put subversive words to Eisenhower era graphics” thing got stale around 1984.

    But that’s just one Plugger’s opinion.

  119. cheech wizard
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    111/ Shermy Glamrocker – I always though Jed looked like a ladykiller – probably et ‘em too. In fact, I think the whole clan was a bunch of backwoods cannibals. That’s why Granny kept that big pot going in the kitchen and the cement pond was filled with cement. The series was cancelled after the cops showed up with jackhammers.

  120. Gold-Digging Nanny
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    AhClem 104: I haven’t seen the other three, but I really like Cul de Sac.

  121. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]


    The answer to #5 is OTM SHANK!

    Geez, do I have to do all the Simpsons references myself, people?

  122. Shermy Glamrocker
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    Yeah, Cheech,

    Those “innards” came from “possums.”


  123. Catbus
    January 18th, 2008 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    MW: I know what that tool in panel 2 is supposed to be for, but I’m amusing myself by imagining that Helmet Guy is using it to cheerfully spear a squirrel.

  124. Forthillrox
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    Dr. Drew, I doubt that talking about you for the reasons you think, you delusional fool. My guess is that they’re pointing out the crazy man with the pompadour gesturing to himself and mouthing the words as he’s thinking them.

  125. Niall
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    yesterthread 83. bobdog: As much as the graffiti episode in The Phantom read like a weekly sitcom to me, you may well be right that this is an operetta – or rather an opera buffa, as it won’t be short at all.

    12. Mr. O’Malley: beautiful. Excellent questions, too.

    76. The Uncola: You’re actually reconstructing the strips actual premise, not snarking it…

    77. SecretMargo: isn’t this whole blog about being unnecessarily pedantic and dense? Yet humorously so. :) (Or trying anyway…)

    85. redlikerubies: another sentence one could say in that situation is “Can’t you drive any faster? I gotta get a Wii!” :)

    106. TBTabby: I can’t click at work (very obviously that site must be blocked, so I’m not even attempting), but I don’t expect it was done with the proper taste it would need for such a classy strip. The “worst” I feel would be appropriate would be her on a beach, sunning all of her back – with fur, nothing shows, and lying down hides the front bits. The personality type of Ashley would not strike me as being vulgar or excessively lewd, just without much regard for others’ personal sense of prudeness. (And if it’s art of her and Norm… nnnnnno.)

    (KT’s Slylock spoof was funny partly for the “other end of the scale” type of exaggeration, byt My Cage is not that G-everything rated as Sly can pass off as.) (…my grammar just died.)

    110. PerkyBird: I’d say Jamus has a bit of a reputation to rival Fable… :)

  126. brb
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    MW Drew has yet to realize that he is actually starring in the latest reality show, “The Dr. Drew Show” broadcast worldwide. The guy in the background of the first panel is holding a boom mike, cleverly disguised as a pruner.

  127. Sans Sense
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: I just looove Niki. If not for him Rex would have already died a hundred times. Calm Lee down and talk turkey? Niki. Advise on disabling the other car? Niki. Advise on proper use of appropriated gun? Niki. Secured matches? Niki. Willing to give up hard-earned scratch to start a fire? Niki. If Rex has any sense he will not piss this kid off with some sanctimonious preaching…bit of course, he will.

  128. The Ghost of Jarrod
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Wait–how does time work in the Mary Worthaverse again? Dr. Drew’s going to give Vera another go-round “for old times’ sake,” but in Mary Worth time, didn’t they just break up an hour and a half ago? And if so, how would Vera know she was pregnant? I know science is incredible these days, but this takes the cake.


  129. cheech wizard
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:18 pm [Reply]

    122/ Shermy – Most people aren’t aware that “possum” is a backwoods variation of a phonetically similar slang term.

    As in “You gettin’ any possum?”

  130. commodorejohn
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    #125 Niall – It’s actually quite tame, much more so than I was expecting. My big problem with it is it doesn’t actually look that much like Ashley.

  131. Brown-eyed Girl
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    77. SecretMargo. My home town (population 300,000) had nine high schools. Plenty for a beer and m&M and despair fest, if the band spouses felt so inclined. I like to think they had better things to do with their time, but what do I know? I was never in band.

  132. Poteet
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

    # 121 — Skullturf, I have a friend in math, and he says these are some Scaduto primes.

    5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 29, 31, 41, 43, 59, 67, 73, 83, 89, 97, 113, 131, 137, 251, 283, 307, 337, 499, 521, 593, 733, 761, 857, 1033, 1051, 1753, 2129, 2203, 2251, 2699, 2777, 4099, 4177, 4339, 6563, 6569, 6577, 6689, 8219, 8273, 8609, 10657, 14753, 16411, 19687, 19699, 20707, 32771, 36067, 59051, 59053, 59113, 59561, 177211, 181243, 531457, 531569, 539633, 1594331, 1594339, 1594387, 1594451, 4782971, 4782977, 4783993, 14348909, 14348923, 14357099, 14365291

  133. A New Day
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Wait, is there such a thing as a non-senior plugger? I know that occasionally younger creatures wander into the cartoon, but I thought they were all plugger foils (the young woman who * gasp * has a career and leaves her child in the care of her (senior) plugger mother in law) or, at most, pluggers in training.
    Here I’ve been trying to organize my life so as not to become a plugger in retirement, but now I have to worry about beingone now? Well, I’m probably safe as long as I occasionally eat sushi and watch Project Runway – purely as prophylactic measures, of course.

  134. Poteet
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    # 29 Keg of Curd — BWAHAha..ha..ha…

    Actually, that’s terrifying.

  135. Little Guy
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Given the right artist, TDiET could go on. I mean, the ‘Mudgeons’ have been writing it for the past few months.

  136. LTBF
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    In today’s Family Circus, Jeffy does his rendition of Lily Tomlin’s Edith Ann character.

  137. Keg of Curd
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    #123 – I see only one tool in MW panel 2. Were you perhaps speaking of the tree pruner in panel 1?

  138. Kent the Dent Angel
    January 18th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Somewhat off-topic, but can anyone fill me in on Dingo’s current situation?

  139. UncleJeff
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Luann — It wasn’t the “wee” word that caused me
    to go “ewwww”…it was the line about getting Berniece “a towel and a bottle.”

  140. Deena in OR
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    Kent-last time he posted, he was inundated with family and moving issues. Nothing new from him for a while.

  141. Kent the Dent Angel
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    140 Deena in OR:
    So he did get a real full-time job? What about John?

  142. Gabacho
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth – Drew, those women are laughing at you. The brunette is replying to her friend after the blond said, “OMG, isn’t that the guy that Dawn Godhelpus Weston thought she was dating?” by saying, “So that explains why he’s wearing her outfit.”

    They are both mocking you.

    Brenda Starr – it just came to my attention that this comic strip is still running. Thank you, TB Tabby!! Check out the strip from last Sunday. Someone is actually SMOKING. A real cigarette. That is so cool. (Note: Smoking is addictive and deadly. Do not smoke.) She looks all glamorous doing it too.

    TDIET – Congratulations, Harold. I am sad/glad that the strip is ending. I never noticed it before coming here but I love the alternate universe artistic loopiness and can’t imagine how that could carry on.

  143. Jam Daddy
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:30 pm [Reply]

    Instead of getting wet and droopy, Rex’s and Niki’s hairdos seem to morph into Yu-Gi-Oh-styled spikes when it rains. It’s TIME to DU-DU-DU-DU-D-D-D-D-DUEL!

  144. Dingo
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    #138 Kent the Dent:

    Hey, y’all. Just finished the first week of the semester and today is my day off so I finally got to catch up on comics and see this site. Also, trying to get myself used to eastern Pennsylvania (great people, bad local newscast). I’m now 75 miles northwest of Philly and 80 miles west of Manhattan in a small town named Breinigsville.

    If you have a meet-n-greet, I want to come!

  145. UncleJeff
    January 18th, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    Luann — Oops. The punchline was that Luann was going to bring the “wee”-engorged Berniece “a blanket and a jar.” Still. Ewww.

    Good to hear from you Dingo!

  146. True Fable
    January 18th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    #144 Dingo – great to see you, you were very missed around here! Hope your job’s pleasant for you.

  147. Mountain Mama
    January 18th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    Dingo! Glad to hear from you.

    Happy birthday, Trotzenbonnie! I hope it gives you as much fun and pleasure as you give us.

    I’m so thrilled about meeting Josh and Mr. Weber (and seeing my Tucson friends) in March that I bought two shirts! I simply must have the Cassandra shirt!

    Who else is coming? Could our beloved Galatic Emperor appear? Where has he been lately, anyway?

  148. Hooray For Socks!
    January 18th, 2008 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

    Um, rather shy lurker posting for the first time, but I had a couple questions about the AZ meetup –
    I was wondering why it wasn’t posted in the meetup forum (just curious), and I was also wondering if any other AZ lurkers were thinking about going – it seems like most of you know each other pretty well by now – I’d hate to crash the party if I can get up the courage (and convince my hubby) to drive from Mesa : ) It just seems like a really cool thing to do & I’d love to meet Josh & Bob Jr. and the rest of you funny people! : )

  149. dimestore lipstick
    January 18th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    I’m extremely late to the party, due to a crushing workload. So–How many commenters have already remarked on finger-quoting Chip and Lois in Hi & Lois today?

    And do we have any Ohio mudges who can tell me if active Volcanoes are a big problem there?

    Note to Elly–Yeah, it’s a treadmill. Which is why, you got off of it, your hinder blew up to the size of a mid-range sedan.

  150. Hasty Penguin
    January 18th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

    Why do the colours suggest climate change from panel one to two in today’s Mary Worth? Girls only live in more frigid climates and need to have the warmth of Dr. Drew is the correct answer that we are supposed to come up with. It really does seem like the Doc’s setting himself up for disappointment. Not like it will matter, though, with all those other girls taking numbers.

  151. Mountain Mama
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    Socks! Hello. I also live in Mesa.

    I had posted a message on the forum asking if the AZ ‘mudges wanted to meet soon, but what to my wondering eyes appear but a metapost from the Pope himself!

    Josh announced in a metapost that he would be vacationing out here in March and had arranged to meet Mr. Weber already and was inviting us.

    Maybe someone with mad HTML skillz could provide a link to that post for our new friend. I have no HTML skillz, or skills, for that matter.

  152. Jamus The Bartender
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    Sorry…watching a rerun of That 70s Show.

  153. Jamus The Bartender
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Dammit, what’s wrong with me today? I need help, i’m usually better than this…

  154. Hooray For Socks!
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Mountain Mama- #151
    I did see the post by Josh – I just didn’t see it posted in the meetup forum – not a big deal, I was just wondering about it – ; )
    Yeah, I’m totally lacking in the html skillz as well, and the snark, which is why I never post, but I love reading most of the posts here. You guys have got me all hooked on soap strips I never would have looked at otherwise!!
    My biggest question was if other lurkers like myself show at these meetups, and is it awkward at all?? I’d hate to drive 2 hours and then be a wallflower : )

  155. NosferatusCoffin
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    I must say that Drew looks like Mary’s doppleganger in panel one. He has the same eyes, mouth and valiumed-up look of “Oh crap, do farts have lumps?” that Mary seems to have perpetually etched on her furrowed face. Excluding the times when Mary has the Linda-Blair-Possessed-By-The-Look on her face when she is pissed and dutifully sucks the like-force out of all of those who dare cross her.

  156. NosferatusCoffin
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

    Oops. Fumble Fingers strikes again.

    Excluding the times when Mary has the Linda-Blair-Possessed-By-The-Devil-Look on her face when she is pissed and dutifully sucks the life-force out of all of those who dare cross her.

  157. Mr. O'Malley
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:53 pm [Reply]

    Fans of anthropomorphic female cartoon cats may enjoy this classic video.

  158. Dingo
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    Addendum to previous message: I need to thank whomever put the link to Brenda Starr. Every morning, I read the Chicago Tribune and its selection of comics and she was one of them. Now, I’m out here in Deutschland without access to a daily paper (yet) and reading the comics online. I was able to save Brenda and a plethora of other comics that appear in the Tribune to my favorites and I thank you.

    As to John, Kent the Dent, we’re currently 800 miles apart but talk every night. I’ve landed this teaching job for one semester with no benefits but will find out sometime in March if I’ve been hired long-term as a tenure track professor with full benefits. For a few weeks, talking with John was very difficult as he began drinking heavily at the thought of my leaving Illinois. Luckily, he was offered two temp jobs. The first is going on right now and ends next week. The second begins next Monday and uses skills that John used on the jobs he loved the most. The manager has already told him it’s a temp-to-hire position with full benefits and that he wants John as the temp because he believes John is the person he wants to hire. How can I begrudge that? For the last two years, he’s done product demos and worked odd jobs to earn money while living in his sister’s basement. This may be the chance for him to get back out on his own (well, with the dogs) and have a life again. The only issue is that if he and I are successful and these jobs become permanent we’ll be living 800 miles apart. So, we may just have to be good friends.

    Very Brenda and Basil. Just not sure which of us should wear the eye patch.

  159. ChattyGenes
    January 18th, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    #132 Poteet. I just got up (it’s 9 am here), and have been scrolling up from the bottom of the thread to find out what I missed last night. I can’t quite figure out what’s going on, but I am amazed that you took the trouble to type out all those numbers.

  160. Mountain Mama
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    Socks, do come! I can assure you personally that Ms. Divine and Bats :[ and Tribolite are just wonderful. I’ve been told that I’m quite charming (YMMV) and I always do make an effort to be friendly to all, so do come if you can.

    Speaking of Tribolite, where is he? Haven’t seen him around these parts lately.

  161. Dingo
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    I realize I’m late to the party, but how many of you have seen Sedated FOOBs?

  162. Hooray For Socks!
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Mountain Mama – #161
    I appreciate the encouragement! Ya’ll do seem quite friendly (does anyone bite? I’d assume bats:[ maybe, but you never know *grins*). I’ll see what Mr. Socks thinks about it. My other worry is that we’d probably have to get a hotel room down there and last time we did that around spring training, we ended up almost in Mexico at a ratty Knights Inn for almost twice what it would normally cost : ) I gotta run- time to get off work and meet a friend for a wonderful beer!

  163. Girl Reporter
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

    dimestore lipstick says: …And do we have any Ohio mudges who can tell me if active Volcanoes are a big problem there?

    Nope, no volcanoes.

    But we do have minor earthquakes. And major tornadoes. And lake-effect snow, but not as much as Buffalo.

    Plus, we have tree lawns.

    Oh, and Batuik.

  164. tussin00
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:29 pm [Reply]

    aaahaha it hurts

  165. Madeline
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    Luann: What the hell. Does Bernice want to fuck her brother or not? If not, why would she have a problem with Luann fucking him? Fucking God.


    P.S. No one says “wee.”

  166. ChattyGenes
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    #35 SpiderBrick. I think it was wishful thinking–I don’t like Fridays because of my teaching schedule that day.

    PS You remind me of my little brother. Both of you always make me laugh:-)

  167. indrifan
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    94 GDN – There is a notice on the penny flattening machines in the rest areas of the New Jersey turnpike that destroying currency is not illegal, but defacing it is. Or something like that. But it’s a common enough story that Rex may well lecture Niki on it anyway.

    But do these people not carry wallets? Am I the only one who has enough ATM receipts, business cards, Coffee club cards, and so stuffed in my wallet at any given time to start a small bonfire in the rundown shack of your choice?

  168. ltrftp Hedly
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    Eric the Baker

    While I disagree with you, you make great points.
    John is much like Billy Budd, a cynosure but not really a catalyst.

    Most times, contact with JP is harmless. Advice acknowledged, concern noted, foil for lame pun/play on words appreciated.

    As to becoming a father 3 times over 9 years, that is not so bad for a dentist. After all, it means he filled the wrong cavity
    just once every 5 years!

  169. Citric
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

    The Phantom: Ah, the dream of every young girl, to be passed around between hundreds of lonely men.

  170. Dagger
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Ha ha! The Shaft is about to plunge a bus full of children into a caldera of searing hot lava!

  171. Allie Cat
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    #165 – Madeline – I said the same thing about “wee” but was corrected by other mudges who tell me that it’s used occasionally, if only ironically.

    I think Bernice is just sick of Luann’s boycraziness, as are we all, and I think she’s jealous that her new brother would rather spend time with Luann than her.

    Personally, I’d rather gouge my eyes out with rusty grapefruit spoons than spend time with either one of them, but that’s just me, and I am prone to overreacting.

  172. Mike
    January 18th, 2008 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

    I suppose today’s Mary Worth exists to show that delusional fantasy is a side effect of having your skull impaled with a tree-trimming implement.

  173. tootingbec
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    Regarding Pluggers: If you think that dude’s wavy head is repellent, you should check out Fred Thompson.

  174. Tabby
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail looks like something my kids might put together with a couple lego guys, a canoe and plane from their vast collection (accumulated over about 16 years and 5 kids) of playmobil things and the breyer moose we found at a garage sale once.

  175. AhClem
    January 18th, 2008 at 8:43 pm [Reply]

    #171 Allie Cat -
    Rusty grafefruit spoons seem perfectly appropriate for spending time with Luann and Bernice. Gouging your eyes out with 24-inch steel bridge beams would be overreacting.

    Unless you’re talking about the Patterspawns.

  176. bats :[
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    174. Tabby: a Breyer moose? at a yard sale? Dang, some people have all the luck!
    (I am the proud owner of a Breyer Brahma bull, still all plastic-y shiny after all these years!)

  177. Joe Btfsplk
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:08 pm [Reply]

    Family Circus – Jeffy actually thinks he’s going to grow, the poor deluded little thing. He’s like forty-some years old, and still the size of a toddler infant preemie fetus embryo. Should we break it to him, or give him another few decades to figure it out on his own?

    Mark Trail – Everybody in this strip keeps referring to the nearby community as “The Community.” This is so awkward, and unlike what people would say in real life, that I find it jarring. “Honey, if you’re going in to the community, would you pick up a dozen eggs?” Who says that?

    Mary Worth – Dr. Drew’s inner monologue – when was it, yesterday or the day before – indicated that it’s been three months since his dust-up with Vera. Vera being pregnant would probably be the most interesting least boring possibility here, but I think that if it were true, she would have called him earlier. It’s more likely to be something along the lines of, “Drew, I saw how happy Mary was when she was leading that whiny little dog around on a leash, and I want that kind of relationship too! Now here’s what we’re doing tomorrow-”

  178. snork3455
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: Black holes are so gravitationally dense that they trap anything unlucky to find itself within the proximity of the event horizon, even light. Evidently, the black hole that is Tom Batiuk’s soul has absorbed the remainder of his bleak surroundings, leaving nothing but a sort of vacuum chamber in which to go completely batshit insane. That just about explains today’s strip.

  179. Eats Shoots And Leaves
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    MW: In panel 1, we view Dr. Drew from his right, seeing that he is standing very close to a person trimming branches from a tree.
    In panel 2, the girls are to his right and therefore view Dr. Drew, as did we, the readers, in panel 1. The young ladies are laughing to each other because they are hoping, as do we, the readers, that the falling branches will conk ol’ Drewpy right on top of his varnished coiffure.

  180. Poteet
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    # 159 ChattyGenes — I cannot tell a lie — it was my math friend who typed them out and sent them, and I just pasted them in. And I bet my green cheese can beat your green cheese:-).

  181. commodorejohn
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    #177 Joe Btfsplk re: MT – I think your capitalization was the key: it’s not “the community,” it’s “the Community.” Obviously LoFo is under the control of some sinister organization that has turned it into a retro-1940s commune in which there are no modern corruptions like computers or television or (as evidenced by this storyline) forensic science and criminology. That or it’s a home for voyageur reenactors.

  182. Loopina
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:38 pm [Reply]

    #157: Cartoons always make me feel better : ) I have that particular one – it’s on one of the Looney Tunes Gold collections. I think the second set. The related video thingie on Youtube has a lot of other cartoons to watch – good times!

  183. Lark
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    despite the fact that i despise absolutely every single character that has appeared in Spider Man since approximately 1998, i WILL say that unlike the artists of <a href=”” Judge Parker, at least the Stan Lee groupies know enough of the laws of physical substance to make MJ’s bulky over-garment actually, you know, bulky.

    also… who goes spear-fishing in a tree? Even in Mary Worth’s reality, this is a bit odd.

  184. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I know I’m a bit late to the table with the whole Plugger swinger thing, but how about this suggestion (ahem):

    Pluggers enjoy teabagging at a lemon party.

  185. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    and some creative googling with safe search off might help to elucidate those terms, but DON’T do it at work or if you’re easily squicked out…

  186. Lark
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

    (i’ll never learn to link.)

    despite the fact that i despise absolutely every single character that has appeared in Spider Man since approximately 1998, i WILL say that unlike the artists of Judge Parker (”), at least the Stan Lee groupies know enough of the laws of physical substance to make MJ’s bulky over-garment actually, you know, bulky.

    also… who goes spear-fishing in a tree? Even in Mary Worth’s reality, this is a bit odd.

  187. Lark
    January 18th, 2008 at 9:58 pm [Reply]

    And speaking of Judge Parker, I can’t tell why the artists (who are named, as far as I can tell, “Wilson & 3NEETO”, which would be an EXCELLENT name for a Fox Kids network show) are so very intent at looking up Gloria’s nose.

  188. Vince M
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    Today’s MW is a gift to the snarky! Reminds me of the Kids in the Hall vignette ‘The Handsomest Guy in the World’.

  189. Williams
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    Or maybe Vera got pregnant and had an abortion, and she’s getting ready to just absolutely destroy Dr. Drew with news of the child he will never know, the child he lost forever through his selfish shenanigans. Try saying THAT three times really fast. “Vera got pregnant and had an abortion, Vera got preghad and nent an…” see??? Can’t be done.

  190. Dave Geary
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    Apropos to nothing, does anyone remember a spanish language strip that ran in newspapers through the 80′s about a cat, dog and a couple of mice living with a young boy? I’m trying to recall the name of the strip and/or the author, and this seems like the crowd who might know. Black and white, anthropomorphic art, and I think they usually referred to the cat as “El Gato” which is hardly surprising.


  191. Toronto
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    142: Re: Brenda Starr. Why does the woman who’s smoking in panel 2 appear with a mustache and a comb-forward in panels 3 and 4?

  192. Mooncattie
    January 18th, 2008 at 10:35 pm [Reply]

    Can’t wait for the Mark Trail Tribute to the cropduster scene in North by Northwest! Only it’ll take two weeks to drag out, the plane will encounter water rather than fire, and Andy the Big Dog will save Mark’s life, thus justifying his inclusion in this whole sad tale. Oh, and Mr. Trail: You are no Cary Grant.

    Happy Birthday, Trotzenbonnie! Let the good times roll!

  193. Deena in OR
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]


    I become more educated every day. Whether or not I really wanted to be ;-)

    Gotta love Urban Dictionary!!

  194. Toronto
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    Mooncattie: You don’t see the Caryness in Mark?

  195. Moon Mullins
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:23 pm [Reply]

    Egads, I can’t believe how many posters have complained about the use of “wee” for urination in Luann today. This is the funnies page, people! Zits got pulled a few weeks back for using the word “sucks.”

    Greg got away with “wee” because it also has a legitimate use as “tiny,” and it slipped past the censors. If he had used “pee,” “tinkle,” or, the worst possibility that someone suggested earlier, “piss,” there would have been subscription cancellations around the country, picket signs outside of publishing houses, massive FCC fines for “lifestyle”-section editors and likely the beginning of a standards monitor akin to the MPAA. Plus, some octogenarian would have passed of cardiac arrest from the shock of talk about “number one” on the comics page.

    That being said, I wouldn’t have even minded if they had banned this one. Peeing in a jar is gross, Howard Hughes gross. Plus, Luann is showing herself to be even more of an insensitive brat than usual. Bring back Toni and TJ!

  196. Alt Comix
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan So, what’s the big secret about that paper in Nikki’s pocket? Are they letters? Maybe they’re love letters? But from who? And how stupid can Rex really be?

    Click here to find out one possibility
    (Click on ALL SIZES on the Flickr page if you can’t read the captions)

  197. Trotzenbonnie
    January 18th, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    My stomach hurts.
    Does anyone know of an antedote for buttercream frosting poisoning?
    And here’s a helpful hint from Granny Trotz – the next time you save a horse/ride a cowboy, first tell him to take off his spurs.

    Thanks for the many birthday wishes!

  198. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    #195 Moon Mullins, I tend to agree with you. It shouldn’t take a whiz to figure that out!

  199. Bobdog
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

    I’m quite sure that is the Plugger version of Fred Thompson.

  200. Loopina
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns: Actually, the public library rents out DVDs for free. The dollar-a-day Red Box things are awesome – new releases, too!

    #199: I think Fred Thompson is the Plugger version of Fred Thompson.

  201. Spotted HØrse
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:21 am [Reply]

    #173 tootingbec, #199 bobdog: My sainted mother and I have a long running contest as to who can best mock Fred Thompson by creating the folksiest Law and Order Thompsonism. Our favorite is, “A frog without a fly is like a mule without a biscuit.”

    Needless to say, when FT tossed his lazy assed hat into the ring, we were beside ourselves with delight.

  202. Bobdog
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:24 am [Reply]

    Fortunately Lu Ann has a sympathetic ear in the form of her roommate Tommie. It’s good that they have so much in common, really — what with the self-pity, the obliviousness, poor interpersonal skills, the fact they both live with Margo and they’re both poorly drawn to boot. Unfortunately for LuAnn, Tommie is a robot who’s positronic brain is only capable of simulating a limited set of emotions (primarily the aforementioned self-pity) and will not be able to actually understand, but simply emote via series of stiff facial expressions that her programmers meant to convey empathy, but actually don’t look all that different from any of her other expressions. But then again, LuAnn is dumb and will therefore be none the wiser.

  203. Bobdog
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    Re: Dr. Drew’s hair – Is there a name for this syndrome that seems to plague certain cartoonists wherein their ability to draw likenesses of human beings becomes frozen in the style of a particular era?

    Also, is it simply un-treatable or simply not covered by the insurance carried by most syndicates?

  204. True Fable
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    FBoFW It is certainly no mystery here that I have detested this comic for lo these many months. This is the first time in all that time that I find nothing about the day’s strip that makes me want to actively hurl. This is actually a decent comic today.

    Sure, I could snark about the origin of the Perfect Pattersons, but I won’t. This is obviously a regurgitated strip and back when they weren’t so fucking sanctimonious, so the dialog is okay, just a couple of proud parents. Tolerant proud parents. No flapping, no screaming, no whining or bitching, just a nice little strip.

    Look quick, it’s probably just a fluke. :P

  205. ChattyGenes
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:57 am [Reply]

    #203 Bobdog. How about “retro-sketch?” :-)

  206. ChattyGenes
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    #204 True Fable. I had exactly the same reaction to that strip, and I’m glad to see you giving credit where credit is due.

    And you’re probably right about it’s being a fluke.

  207. Mr. O'Malley
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:07 am [Reply]

    204. Yes, except that in panel 3 Elly appears to be 7 years old.

    There is something positive to say about the newer strips—the characters seem to have fairly consistent heights.

    I suppose this sounds like faint praise, but there are some strips that don’t meet that standard.

    I know those old strips predate Photoshop, but wasn’t there some technique in the old days for inserting characters into a drawing using some kind of template? And it frequently led to perspective errors because there wasn’t a way to change the size? Does this ring a bell with anyone?

  208. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

    There is something positive to say about the newer strips—the characters seem to have fairly consistent heights.

    That made me LOL.

  209. bats :[
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:29 am [Reply]

    Saturday, in the toons:

    A3G: remember, Alan, booze is not the answer.
    Booze is the question.
    “Yes” is the answer.

    FC: “…an’ a cloven hoof an’ a vestigial tail an’ a third nipple.” What’s your point, Billy?

    MT: keep your eye on the sparrow…or the single-prop:

    RMMD: doing hard time in prison…a risk that Rex is willing to take!

    FOOB: yeah, True, non-snark inducing. Even a blind pig finds the occasional acorn. Or butter tart.

  210. Mr. O'Malley
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:03 am [Reply]

    Plenty of coincidences today:

    Another appearance of “wee”.

    More jokes about urination.

    More tiny people.

    And just when were were talking about Bill Griffith, he goes and does a beautiful comic.

  211. True Fable
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    9CL I suppose Juliette Jr. is supposed to be fascinating now, but… she’s just not.
    A3G Everybody! – “Oh, NO, Alan!!” Yeah, Alan. Hold out for a Tavern or a Pub, or a Package Store. But not a Bar!
    Baldo Baldo Does Sopranos.
    Cathy(Must Die), and preferably sooner rather than later. Maybe she can take the Conspicuous Consumption Salesclerk with her.
    C’haft I thought it was sounding a little bit too Very Special Episode there.
    DtM Boy, Henry looks rough. I bet he was getting ready to tap some of that under the hot slinky black nightie Alice has on. Coitus Interruptus can get a kid killed, Dennis.
    Doonesbury Very good week this week!
    FC Well, you know what they say you’ll find under a pony tail: a horse’s ass.
    FW Say, anyone up for Counting the Non-Lethal or Non-Smirky Days this year? You won’t even have to take off your shoes, I’ll bet.
    (DT)GT That is one seriously ugly character in panel three, but what is he saying? Is he targeting the Big Impressive 19 points goal, or targeting Maureen McJumpshot to hit on? And who’s been putting his head in the pencil sharpener?
    HotC Hey, better that you dream about Keith Olbermann and Countdown, than driving a school bus up a volcano, kid.
    H&L Yeah Hi, you insensitive beast! Thirsty has delusions that you live an idyllic life in your little suburban hellhole, as if that lazy bum has it so bad. What’s so wrong about Thirsty’s wife and son? Christ, what an asshole.
    JP Sam, if you keep drinking so much coffee, your meeting is going to have to be held in the unisex bathroom.
    Luann Where are Luann’s parents, and why aren’t they wondering why a grown man is speccin’ their teenage daughter? And why hasn’t someone killed Bernice yet? No, seriously.
    MT How hard was the river to travel, that Mark had to portage part of it? Why didn’t he stay in the river, if it had been rapids we could have actually seen something interesting this week.
    Big Dog Two words, gents: Sniper rifle.
    Marvin Damn dog.
    MW Damn dog.
    MC Bridget’s my favorite cast member! I say it’s time for Truman Eagle to make an appearance!
    Peanuts I had a toy Lassie plushie I felt the same way about, only nobody buried it. My dad offered to get me a new one if he could get rid of the ratty old one, and little Truman went apeshit with “no!!”
    PBS Attaboy, Rat.
    Phantom At first I thought she was speaking panel two’s words aloud and not thinking them. I wondered how soon she could expect to meet with an “unfortunately accident” at the hands of the no-longer unknown Jungle Patrol commander.
    RMMD yeah, somehow I doubt that the police will blame you for trying to stay alive, Rex. however, they might take issue with your staying in a lonely wooded getaway cabin with an underage boy and damp damp clothes.
    S-M Why the hell doesn’t he just tell the world who he really is? He’s practically drawing a neon arrow to his home as he follows her cab after public smooching. Man, I hate this strip. Stan, I respect your overall body of work through the years but my GOD, man; hang it up.

  212. True Fable
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:09 am [Reply]

    #206 Chatty Genes – well sure, honey bunch; sometimes I can be quite decent! Granted that when it comes to FOOB it’s not so much turning over a new leaf as it is, damn near uprooting myself.

  213. Skulking on the Outskirts
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:14 am [Reply]

    Hey, Dingo, nice to see you back. Hope it all works out well for both you and John.
    Trotzenbonnie, belated happy birthday. As for the butter frosting overdose, take a dose of Pepto-Bismol, and go to bed. Get well soon. :)
    And I just want to put in my two cents on MT–in all seriousness, I wonder if Jack Elrod has Asperger’s sydrome. (Let’s see if I can do a very crude link here: )

    I’m no expert, but it would make a lot of sense–the robot-like dialogue with the weird emphasis, the clumsy drawing of humans vs. the very well drawn animals. (Excepting Andy, and maybe that’s because Andy is more like a character than an animal in this strip.)

    Just speculating–anybody got any ideas/info on the topic?

  214. Poteet
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    9CL — Gaaah! Renewed thanks to the Mudges who pinned Brooke out on a board the other day and dissected his arrested development. There’s no point in repeating your cogent observations, but he definitely deserves them. Good night.

  215. True Fable
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:25 am [Reply]

    #213 Skulking on the Outskirts – That’s an interesting theory you have and it is certainly something to consider. But in the end, I think Jack Elrod just draws better animals because he likes to, he knows he draws them well and he wants to play to his strengths. He’s not so interested in people, which is why all the women look alike and all the men are either clean cut Mark cutouts, or bearded Bad Guy Marks. And Rusty… *shudder* Good Lord, that Jack Elrod sure can draw a convincing Chupacabra, can’t he?

    If anything, he’s like the kid who doesn’t like “all that mushy stuff” that humans tend to bring with them, so he tries to get the animals to do most of the talking whenever he can. :-)

  216. Skulking on the Outskirts
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:39 am [Reply]

    True Fable: you could be right. But how to explain the stilted dialogue and not terribly credible plots?
    I like the idea that Rusty is actually a chupacabra. It does add some depth to the strip. I just hope he doesn’t come near any of your goats, True. :p

  217. ChattyGenes
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:48 am [Reply]

    #213 Skulking. #215 True Fable.

    I have a friend who is a naturalist who is active in conservation work. He has realized in recent years that he has facial dyslexia–that is, he cannot recognize or remember the faces of acquaintances. It has made his life difficult–people who know HIM or who have met him have come up to greet him and he cannot remember having met them, or who they are. It’s embarrassing for him to have to admit this to the person and to have to ask who he/she is.

    But as I said before, he is involved in nature and conservation work, and has been for years. He can readily identify many varieties of birds, animals, plants, flowers, grasses, rocks, and the like. He can discern subtle differences and similarities in such things where most people cannot.

    Perhaps Elrod is the same way?

  218. Lindsey ^_^
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    #108 and 109 – Thanks for the explanation… I somehow inexplicably missed on the fact that he’s a total ladykiller, possibly because he isn’t.

  219. True Fable
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    I live in fear of the chupacabra! They are only one step worse than the Meat Goat Breeders’ Association :-)

    As for the Asperger’s – The stilted dialogue IS beyond the realm of mere bad writing; there’s a technique to it that really plumbs the depths of awkwardness. But wouldn’t the tendancy for motor clumsiness hamper the ability to draw the animals so well? I can get how it would affect the wooden-faced people but the animals look pretty fluid.

  220. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:13 am [Reply]


    OBH: I can honestly see Ruthie’s confusion. “You discussed me” is a tad more erudite than Joe usually is.

    MW: Both hands on the wheel, loverboy.

    SFx: Welcome to “Animal Torture with Boo Boo.”

    Ghost Who…: “Well he was their unknown commander until just now. Oopsie.”

    Luann: Yeah, you know what else might ruin the mood? Ben doing time for statutory. There could be some romance behind bars, but Luann won’t be involved.

    DT: Tess is there to witness the ugliest part of Dick’s job: the puns.

    FC: “A ponytail and a piggyback. Heheh. That’s pure gold. I’ll have to remember it for when dad gets home.”

    C-Shaft: So this has all been a dream while the codger wets himself?

    H&L: Shit, Thirsty. Your wife is pretty hot considering who she married.

    Curtis: While depressing statements bring smirks in FW, here they inspire full-on guffaws.

    A3G: “Looks like I’m destined to fail at everything and hurt everyone who tries to love me. Cool!”

  221. Skulking on the Outskirts
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:24 am [Reply]

    ChattyGenes, I’d heard of that, but never thought of it, regarding Elrod. Very plausible theory.

    True Fable, I’ve heard that many people with autism (and Asperger’s is sometimes described as “very high-functioning autism”) are extraordinarily gifted in one narrow field, like art, or math. And I recall hearing of one such man who could draw animals in particular like nobody’s business, but nothing else. They used to be called “idiot savants” but now it’s usually “autistic savants”, since “idiot” is obviously non-PC, these days. But you know, maybe Elrod is just a serious nerd, as you suggest, or maybe it’s something like ChattyGenes’s theory (see 217). I just can’t help thinking that Elrod has got to have some kind of perception disorder, given the difference between his artwork on humans and animals.

  222. True Fable
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:37 am [Reply]

    #217 Chatty Genes – Anything is possible where The Great Jackelrod is concerned.

    When I forget someone’s name, I just tell them, “Look, I’ve got a brain cramp and can’t remember your name. What is it?” I try to shoot for Fable charm but I’ll take plain old Fable bluntness if I have to. :-)
    And, it’s not like your friend intentionally can’t recall faces, it just happens, can’t help it.

    #221 Skulking on the Outskirts – I didn’t know that about Asperger’s people. I learn so many cool things here! :-)

  223. Skulking on the Outskirts
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:47 am [Reply]

    True Fable, please note that I’m just repeating stuff I’ve heard/read–I haven’t studied this subject in any serious way. I’m just tossing out a topic for discussion here.

    And I pick up so much cool info here, too! :p

  224. True Fable
    January 19th, 2008 at 4:12 am [Reply]

    Skulking – I get you. But it IS an interesting topic, of wondering just what gives with some of the cartoonists. I mean, Gil Thorp’s artist ALONE has got to be worth a mention in the New England Journal of WhatTheHell, don’t you think? ;-)

    Meanwhile sights like this continue to delight me!

    Although the text that accompanied the picture, that mentioned baby goat bones and recipes, was absolutely unnerving. I must never return to that site again.

  225. Spotted HØrse
    January 19th, 2008 at 4:35 am [Reply]

    Skulking, True, and ChattyGenes: You, friends, have some intriguing thoughts about the source of the mighty Jackelrod’s mojo. Man, if he were dealing with something like Asperger’s, I would be impressed.

  226. Spotted HØrse
    January 19th, 2008 at 4:36 am [Reply]

    Oops. Possible source, possible source.

    [See it before you say it!]

  227. lesles
    January 19th, 2008 at 5:33 am [Reply]

    the couple of people i know with asberger’s who are reasonably high functioning are more capable than average in a precise area, have a lot of trouble recognising people (one of them told me it can take him months of regular contact to be able to put a name & face together without relying on context clues), can have trouble dealing with emotional situations, and tend to be pretty black and white and inflexible about things (especially moral issues) once they’ve reached a position.

    a lot of that could definitely fit with the unique world portrayed in Mark Trail, particularly the eviil-that-is-beards thing, but speaking with my artist hat on (yes, it is a beret, but i also use it as my everything else hat), i think the drawing aspects have more to do with the fact that it’s just easier to draw animals and objects than it is to convincingly draw humans. i think part of that is because we, as producer and viewer, have an intimate inside knowledge of being a human (except for bruce tinsley), that makes it harder to realistically pull off. for us, a six metre goose, no matter how much we know about geese, is still an external object.

  228. F. Cecious Lee
    January 19th, 2008 at 7:43 am [Reply]

    Two observations about today’s Mark Trail

    1) It looks like the canoe may have turned back to a motor boat

    2) The airplane looks like a De Havilland Beaver, also it doesn’t have registration markings. So …wait for it…. Mark and Andy are about to be attack by an unmarked beaver.

  229. Lolsworth
    January 19th, 2008 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    Oh, we really need another one of these.

  230. Dingo
    January 19th, 2008 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    No good can come of the story of Vera and Drew until she meets him on the stage of Jerry Springer in a tiger-print thong.

  231. Saluki
    January 19th, 2008 at 8:03 am [Reply]


    GF: Like Luann yesterday we’re back to the wee.

    A&J: In Timequake Kurt Vonnegut said that to him there was nothing funnier than seeing a perfectly healthy adult succumb to gravity. Apparently he never outgrew this.

    9CL: I don’t get it. Are the thinning old bald guys supposed to be sextuplets?

    Blondie: Dagwood could have a brilliant career in politics, or at least the Romney campaign.

    Shaft: Now he’s going to have oily fingerprints all over his glasses.

    GA: I thought they were taught to be those things when they were hired.

    GT: I can believe that Maureen Monte caught fire with all those explosions going off around her.

    Lockhorns: Ha ha. I get my dvd’s free from the library.

    MF: Women are liberal pinko commies. The Duck now wishes he had brought his spare burkas.

    OBH: C’mon admit it. It was funny.

    TDIET: I’ve noticed just the opposite. Mouthie raves on the nightly news about the storm of the century approaching but when you go out to shovel the next day – three flakes. Oh yeah! Urge to snowblow him to the moon!

  232. jmarkow
    January 19th, 2008 at 9:06 am [Reply]

    You know, in any other strip than Mary Worth, when Drew says “Maybe Vera’s about to give me a second chance” it would be the rankest kind of foreshadowing of something terrible. In Mary Worth, it means “Maybe Vera’s about to give me a second chance”

  233. Calico
    January 19th, 2008 at 9:22 am [Reply]

    #219 – Maybe it’s not that Elrod has Asperger’s, but that all his characters do.

    What a triumph.

  234. bats :[
    January 19th, 2008 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    This is an online comic which I love (the main character, Rayne Summers, is pretty much a match for the character Charlie Sheen plays on “Two and a Half Men.” Well, he’s probably a match for Charlie Sheen).
    But I digress. Look! He’s making finger-quotey “quotes”!!! (possibly NSFW because of a particular word):

  235. AhClem
    January 19th, 2008 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – Suddenly, he woke up. It had all been a dream!

    HotC – Suddenly, she woke up. It had all been a dream!

  236. John C Fremont
    January 19th, 2008 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    A3G – So Alan’s gonna start hitting the booze. Today. New Year’s Day. Well, at least this storyline could be interesting, which is more than one can say for anything else in A3G. Well, anything since the Zipper/Mule incident, anyway.

  237. gleeb
    January 19th, 2008 at 10:33 am [Reply]

    106, re: My Cage: The thing that has kept me from enjoying this strip (apologies to Ed Power) has always been the suspicion that somewhere, there were people spanking to it.

    9CL: Speaking of spanking, anyone have any doubts that Brooke likes to be sexually dominated?

    Baldo: And so, another member of the Singh Brotherhood receives the skull-mark of the Ghost-who-walks. Or maybe it’s just two teens scuffling in a pizza joint. Who cares? Finally we get some action!

    Cathy: Cathy has a hard time shopping for clothes. Someone skull-mark Guisewhite!

    Dick: An ethics committee? Two things: first, the Gov probably stacked it with his crones already; second, Tracy isn’t killing anyone. This is not the two-fisted justice Chester Gould would have given us.

    ‘bean: “My name is Harry Dinkle, diector of directors/ Look on my band, ye mighty and despair./ Nothing beside remains.” Cheer up, Becky. Have some M&M’s.

    Bunny Hoest’s No Exit: Yet she complains when they go to anonymous suburban parties and he dances with tall blondes. Oh, Loretta, truly you’ve reached a new and hilarious comic contradiction! Feh, this needs more smugglers.

    Phantom: Now it’s just social posturing. “Instead of waiting tables or writing jaywalking tickets, I’m married to the man-who-cannot-die, Losers.”

  238. Hank
    January 19th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    RE: Dick Tracy. You’d think that, after seventy years in law enforcement, Dick would know that the members of a state ethics commission are political appointees who typically serve at the pleasure of, yep, the governor. So I doubt there’s much for the Governor to fear from that August body. Dick had better just hurry up and execute the man in the street by throwing him under a bulldozer or something.

    RE: MW. Drew keeps saying that its been months since his “break up” with Vera. Does that mean Mary had that damn dog nearly as long? How long did it take her to put up those fliers anyway?

  239. Hank
    January 19th, 2008 at 10:40 am [Reply]

    RE: Rex Morgan. Rex says burning the money would be a crime but burns it anyway. Rex is clearly doing so with the knowledge that he could be sent to prison for this. A prison full of large angry men who would just love to ass rape a piece of fresh meat such as himself. He probably can’t wait to confess to the cops.

  240. Mibbitmaker
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    It is possible that Elrod uses clip art for his animals in the strip…..

  241. Calico
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:22 am [Reply]

    #237 – Yeah, I’m enjoying Baldo’s left Fist o’ Justice too.
    I don’t condone violence, but what “Master Charles” did was disgusting and vile and is essentially a hate crime.
    Lights out, eh, Charlie? Bwahahaha!

  242. Scherzo
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    I just think Elrod has better reference photos for animals than humans, IMHO.

  243. Calico
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    #234 – Sounds like an old toad of a boss I had about 15 years ago – he didn’t show his dick, but came damn close.
    BTW, this fellow recently had to pay a rather large fine to the SEC for pretending to be a financial broker without a license. Karma rules!

  244. Bunnë
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Sweet sentiment today. But what are they watching on TV? Let’s see… kids off to bed, parents finally alone… TV shows a woman with a man who has a cheesy mustache… sweet jebus, are John and Elly watching porn?

  245. Loopina
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    #244 Bunne: It was 1980 – I think every guy on tv had a cheezy moustache.


  246. Lindsey ^_^
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    Face-blindness is actually a real condition. I have a very mild form of it but didn’t realize it until a few months ago. I can recognize faces, but I cannot, ever, picture them in my head. I can’t see my father’s face in my head when I try to think it up. I can see his nose, his eyes, etc, but I can’t put them together into a full picture. It’s just a blur where the face should be. It’s a very specific part of the brain that governs recognition, and if it gets damaged or is messed up in some way it can cause people to be unable to recognize faces. For a long time I thought that being unable to picture faces in your mind was perfectly normal.

    Here’s the testimony of one guy with severe face-blindness:

    So if you know someone who constantly fails to recognize you, this could be why.

  247. Mibbitmaker
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

    DT: This strip is being blind to the Ethics Committee/political appointee thing, eh? This wouldn’t happen if this strip were done by an editorial cartoonist! — Oh, wait…..

    FC: “Dolly has a ponytail and a piggyback.” Aw, man!, that’s too bad; now they’ll have to bury her in the back yard!

    FOOB: Er, John… that’s the TV you’re watching, not Mikey. (It is a pretty good one today. In fact, possibly more representitive of early FOOB not being so bad. But I’ll sometimes MST3K good stuff, too – just without real put-downs)

    Cathy: Has “Yoga-” become a prefix like “Smurf-” now?

    Adam: Yeah, Adam! Those poor saps already went out of their way to move away from Monica Seles as it is.

    A3G: Uh, I hate to say this, Alan, but… um… Alan… YOU ARE THE BAD GUY!!

    S4th: (I’ll take it on good faith that Ces isn’t snarking on us, and go with this comment instead…) For enemies of the Clintons or George W. Bush, Plan A would be every other mode of communication. (Or maybe this…) “Hey, this is no time to discuss contraception, Sal!”

    N-S: This is bad. Danae seems to be convincing even Wiley that her rotten scheme is a good idea! Worse still… I think she’s convincing me, too!

    Bunny Hoest’s “At Least It’s Better Than Howard Huge” : Their library charges for rentals? Well, that’s what they get for going to the Jack Benny Memorial Library.

    Cranky: Definately far more “Dallas” dream reveal than “Newhart” dream reveal.

    Nancy: I dunno. That one was a real boo boo, Gilchrist.

  248. Dicky
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:08 pm [Reply]

    FC: “She has abducted the young of Thel and is now on her way to destroy it. Her odd loping gait is less a matter of speed and more a taunt toward the alpha female she has now challenged. Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom will be right back with the outcome of this after this commercial break.”

    C’shaft: I thought that this was just going back to the odd driving vignettes of old. I have a Crankshaft book from 1992 that refers to Turtle Hill as the steep hill, containing a river on this near 90 degree incline, and hairpin turns making rollercoaster-like loops. They’re self-contained, but since he was still driving his bus at the time more consistently in the strip, they could actually be taken as the hill existing in their reality, and not this dream stuff. This past week’s strips would have made so much more sense if he were dying rather than dreaming…

  249. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean: Native speakers of English do not talk like this.

    Hi and Lois: Is it just me, or did this take a really dark turn?

    Pluggers: They are bears. So is their version of the story different? Is Goldilocks the villain in this one?

    TDIET: Why would a submitter from Houston know anything about winter?

  250. Calico
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    #247 – Dolly also has and is a Horse’s ___ .

  251. Scrog
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    I really hope that Crankshaft is waking up from the 20-year dream that has been this strip and continues his life as a pleasant and jolly retiree. *Fin*

    Also–never mind the sexism–the complete disconnect between 9 Chickweed Lane and how things work in academia is becoming irritating.

  252. Whippersnapper
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:32 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: And our only hope is that this is actually not a dream and that the lava envelops Crankshaft, removing every trace of that misanthropic pain in the ass from this earth in a fiery wave of destruction.

  253. queek
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    ok, today’s MG&G made up for yesterday’s lame joke.

    C&B: I think that Leiknes needs to stop watching Weird Al vids on Youtube.

    DtM and Pyjama Diaries both feature similar jokes today. Darn kids, getting in the way of sweet, sweet love down by the fire.

    Ordinarily, I really like Jump Start, but I loathe the “snoog a boo” dog strips.

    PBS: that’s a June-worthy rackshot.

  254. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    # 249 – SQB:

    Maybe in this version of “Goldilocks”, the Thee Bears come home to find little Goldie sleeping in Baby Bear’s bed – and then they all kill and eat her: thus

  255. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    # 249 – SQB:

    Maybe in this version of “Goldilocks”, the Three Bears come home to find little Goldie sleeping in Baby Bear’s bed – and then they all kill and eat her: thus adding some badly-needed protein to their rather un-ursine diet of porridge!


  256. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 19th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    # 249 – SQB:

    Maybe in this version of “Goldilocks”, the Three Bears come home to find little Goldie sleeping in Baby Bear’s bed – and then they all kill and eat her: thus adding some badly-needed protein to their rather un-ursine diet of porridge!


  257. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

    # 249 – SQB:

    Maybe in this version of “Goldilocks” the Three Bears come home to find Goldie sleeping in Baby Bear’s bed – and then they all kill and eat her: thus adding some badly-needed protein to their bland, and rather un-ursine diet of porridge.

    No wonder Little Plugger likes hearing it over and over!

  258. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:04 pm [Reply]

    OK: apologies: I have NO idea whatsoever why my last post popped up four times.

    And it’s not even all that interesting as a “work in progress”, either!

  259. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    Spot the six differences between comments # 255 and 256.

  260. CHA5NCE
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

    Are my eyes deceiving me? After checking on their precious sleeping Patterson angels, are John and Elly settling in for the evening and watching porn? And is that El’s friend Connie starring in said porn? Are John and Elly swapping homemade adult movies with their swinger friends? Do they still do it in present, or only in warm, fuzzy flashbacks? Is that why Anthony grew a mustache? To appear more masculine in the amateur porn he swaps with the Patterson parents?

    Or have I just been drinking too much Nyquil?

  261. Angry Beaver
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    With the way its going for Dr. Drew in ‘MW’, he’ll break into a musical number at any moment.

  262. Little Guy
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    249: 1) They *do* have winter down in Houston,once in a while. 2) There are those who have moved down from colder climates to Houston.

    211, re Baldo: Now I have to reread this week’s strips while listening to Journey.

  263. Rick Patrino from Louisville
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Aldo Kelrast ain’t walking throught that door!

  264. Niall
    January 19th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Quick Saturday Stuff (got a games day and a ceili dance tonight – and a trance club night! Woo!)

    A3G: Did the Aldo Spirit (ahem) move over to this strip?

    Blondie: Dagwood should really get tested for narcolepsy. It’s not normal to spend all your Saturday in bed like that?

    DtM: Waking up parents to tell them you don’t need to – +5 menacepoints.

    DT: Ah, there’s the horrible pun we were waiting for. Storyline is now over. Yay!

    Garfield: Turnabout IS fair play.

    Edge City: And THIS is where I go Pbtbtbtbt at it. Belly roll, a basic belly dance move?? And here I thought the cartoonist had done some research, silly me. I’ve had basic and intermediate classes, and none even approached this rather advanced move. You need to have excellent control to do it. There’s any number of basic first-class moves they could have used with the same type of last panel joke. So tomorrow I expect I’ll see the wife not going anymore because she’s ashamed she’s not fat enough or something, and the husband pouting.

    GT: Panel 1 screams for photoshopping, but I don’t have the time… bats! AltComix! You’re needed!

    H&L: A week later, the town’s paper headlines the horrific murder-suicide of a family by its neighbour.

  265. Scherzo
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    GT: Panel 1 screams for photoshopping, but I don’t have the time… bats! AltComix! You’re needed!

    QUICK! Get the Photoshop signal!

    Da-da da-da da-da, da-da da-da da-da…

  266. bats :[
    January 19th, 2008 at 2:48 pm [Reply]

    264., 265.: much flattered (well, the Avengers’ being “needed” is pretty cool…the Adam West/Batman in grey longjohns with the bat signal, not so much). I don’t follow GT too much except when there’s a hue and cry about the awful drawing (which means I should be looking at this on a daily basis), but I’m stumped as to what’s to be done to Panel 1. About all I can envision is Basketball Girl flying up up up and into a smokestack.
    And the long-headed mutant in Panel 3 just out-and-out scares me. Is he one of Dolly Keane’s long-lost, horse-faced relatives?

    Mostly I’m mystified at you, Niall, for managing to stuff 30-some hours of activities into one day.

  267. Spotted HØrse
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Panel 3! Squiggly mom jeans crotches! Stylized by the artist! Pointed right at us!

  268. bats :[
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    267. spotted horse: Yes, but it’s trumped and diminished into an impotent statement of something or other by squiggly dad jean crotches.
    It’s amazing that they were able to conceive April, isn’t it?

  269. Joe Blevins
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    If Devo ever decides to record a gospel album, they could just use panel one from this “Mary Worth” with only minimal photoshopping. Drew’s already got the hairdo, and he’s in classic “gospel album cover/talking to the Lord” posture.

  270. Loopina
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

    Tom the Dancing Bug does comics:

  271. Anonymous
    January 19th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone remember when Rex and Starfishhair started on this relaxing journey? About the time Rex got his “drive-by prostate exam” over 3 months ago. Thank Zamboni Rodeo for that chuckle.

  272. commodorejohn
    January 19th, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Ha ha, no wonder those academic stiffs couldn’t handle Brooke’s razor wit! He showed them as they are and their monstrous egos couldn’t handle it! So they tossed him out on the street to shine shoes, but he’ll show them, by golly! (At least, that’s the only thing I can think of that explains this storyline other than a sudden aneurysm.)

    A3G – The words John Patterson will one day utter.

    Crankshaft – And the classic utterly lame cop-out rears its head once again.

    DTM – Holy…some honest-to-God actual menace has finally been displayed?

    DT – All together now: WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!?!?!?

    FW – Sooo…how old is Comic John again? Is it the ravages of Time that have greyed his hair, or simply the stress of living in Winkerland, where the best one can hope for is a dull ache in the soul?

    GT – Someone called for a Photoshop?

    MF – Ah, it’s good to see that Mallard Fillmore is so consistently inept at any variety of comedy!

    MW – Woah, Dr. Drew seems to be able to look outside his comic’s timeline and see how long it’s been in the real world!

    Marmaduke – WHY THE VENTS

    RMMD – Boy, it sure was a good idea of you to abandon a perfectly workable situation and run out in the rain, eh, Rex?

    Edison Lee – is a whiny little brat.

  273. commodorejohn
    January 19th, 2008 at 4:19 pm [Reply]

    #271 Anonymous – My God, that means Mary Worth actually completed a whole storyline when Rex Morgan, M.D. has spent the same amount of time and hasn’t even gotten to the climax. Rex Morgan is slower-paced than Mary Worth. Contemplate that and be afraid.

  274. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 19th, 2008 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    #273 commodorejohn:

    And lest we forget yet another astonishingly time-warped storyline: remember that Dick Tracy is still carrying on with a story from last Halloween. AFAICT, the actual action of the Halloween “sleepover” and the subsequent demolition derby, have occupied, what – one? Two days? So in the DT-verse, it’s still November 1 (or 2), while out here in real time, it’s Jan. 19, and 80 (or 79) days have actually elapsed. That’s SLOW.

  275. Spunky N. Tadpole
    January 19th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    # 274 should have had a link to Dick Tracy . Sorry.

  276. bats :[
    January 19th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    269. Joe Blevins: you know, I could’ve sworn I saw something like this the other night, wedged between the LavaLite chat-room ads and the commercials for a local used car dealership:

  277. Baka Gaijin
    January 19th, 2008 at 5:42 pm [Reply]

    #274 commodorejohn: Add “Baka CC’er” to my name. #271 is me. I’m posting from my brand new iMac and forgot to add my name. Baka, baka, baka!!! Snark at ya later. Something’s bouncing on the bottom of my screen.

  278. ltrftp Hedly
    January 19th, 2008 at 5:57 pm [Reply]


    Re H&L, I think we have two choices:
    1) The writer just watched a rerun of the M*A*S*H episode where BJ is upset his wife has to take a job, gets hit upon and laughs it off. After being a jerk about money to everyone, Margaret (or maybe Hawkey, I used to know this stuff) gives him the line about “You have the most to lose because you have so much. Give us a break!”;


    B) Someone at a cocktail party or a MADD representative said that “Thirsty” should have more dimensions.

    So, will Thirsty stop drinking because he admires Hi?


    Does Thirsty drink because he envies Hi?

    All Other Posters

    For a long thread this has been especially erudite. Thanks.




    Is this an English ignorance of dancing Or did you variant spelll ceilli???

    Nope, it is English ignorance wins

    Have fun!

    or (depending when you read this)

    Have fun?

  279. ltrftp Hedly
    January 19th, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

    Preview is my friend
    Another puppy diets.

    Happy belated to Trotznbonnie!

  280. Islamorada Girl
    January 19th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    #237: “Dick: An ethics committee? Two things: first, the Gov probably stacked it with his crones already. . ”

    And a right hellacious bunch of old women they are, too.
    No doubt they all look and act like Mary Worth.

  281. Spotted HØrse
    January 19th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    #86 Paperback Rifler:

    Man, oh, man; if Orville Redenbacher were alive today, he would have Momma stuffed and mounted like some kind of big game trophy.

    Upon rereading your excellent post, I constructed a second, regrettable, and infinitely more filthy idea of what Orville Redenbacher’s mounting/stuffing Mother Hobbs might entail. You’re welcome!

  282. Flealick
    January 19th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    FC: Who the hell is Billy talking to? Usually, the kids just share their asinine platitudes with each other or their no-doubt horrified parents, but the fact that Billy, with his roving-reporter stance, is clearly addressing the unseen audience of the strip disturbs me in a way that is disturbing even by Family Circus standards. This means the Keenes know we’re out there, and some day, they will find us.
    An alternate explanation is that Billy is preparing a video record of his domestic situation. The court thought this would involve less mental trauma than forcing Billy to testify against his parents regarding the nightmare that is life in the Keane Kompound.

  283. Poteet
    January 19th, 2008 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

    # 272 — Migawd, commodorejohn, you’re right. Rex and Niki could have hung around in a nice warm cabin taking turns keeping the gun trained on Doc Ock and watching his medical condition deteriorate, with just the small annoyance of having to listen to his ravings and futile threats. Instead, they are cold, wet, lost, and holed up in a ramshackle building that might as well have a big blinking neon sign saying SEARCH HERE FOR FLEEING HOSTAGES, especially once Rex gets that cash-fueled fire going. And I suppose Doc Ock might even get the bright idea of shooting out their tires or sabotaging their engine to make escape even more difficult, if they ever manage to get back to their car. Way to go, Rex! In your case, M.D. stands for Moron Deluxe!

  284. Poteet
    January 19th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    # 281 — Spotted H0rse, you are sick, sick, sick! BWAHAHAHAHA!

  285. Jamus The Bartender
    January 19th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I agree with everyone’s assesment about Brooke and his arrested development. Having said that…I would SO let Juliette have her way with me, no matter how demeaning it would be.
    278: It was Margaret.

  286. Deena in OR
    January 19th, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

    Jamus-I’m in agreement with you about Juliette…although I don’t think she swings that way, more’s the pity.

  287. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 19th, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

    #272 commodorejohn,
    I loved that photoshopping. The cartoon universe is just not being good to her.

  288. Artist formerly known as Ben
    January 19th, 2008 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    #245 loopina,
    Why I do believe that’s Matt Houston. aka “Magnum PI with duller shirts.”

  289. Spotted HØrse
    January 19th, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    #284 Poteet: Hellza poppin’! Nevermore the shy gentleman, nor the old maid. Good for them, I say!

  290. Deena in OR
    January 19th, 2008 at 9:49 pm [Reply]

    Captain Thunder!

    Have you encountered the good Viscount Stokington lately? Give him our best and tell him his presence is sorely missed.

  291. K. Ivan Ruppert
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

    I’m a little surprised that Josh didn’t comment on Friday’s Phantom, what with the two girls staring off into space dreamily at the idea of being continually raped by a hoard of men driven half-savage by lonlieness and the horrors they have been forced to fight.

  292. Starrynight
    January 19th, 2008 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

    #92 Allie Cat- I agree with you, I love the way Mutts is drawn. I have been a fan for probably 10 years or so.

    #101 Mariko- Those drawings are perfect! Watterson is right on target, and he would certainly know what he’s talking about.

  293. LTBF
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

    Notice Saturday Mike gets a goodnight hug while Liz gets only a peek from the hallway.Parental affection is why Mike found success and love early, while liz is stuck with Accent Mark’s sloppy seconds

  294. RaB
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    Does Senior Plugger indeed have ears, or just bristly oven mitts on the sides of his head?

  295. Starrynight
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    #272 commodorejohn- John the comics guy in FW is “supposed” to be 38. If I look that bad in 2 years (I’m not quite 36), I’m going to get some serious help…

  296. Skulking on the Outskirts
    January 20th, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

    260, CHA5NCE, yes, you have definitely had too much Nyquil.

    Pass that bottle over here, would you?

  297. Loopina
    January 20th, 2008 at 1:25 am [Reply]

  298. Poteet
    January 20th, 2008 at 1:52 am [Reply]

    And in Sunday’s MW, the part of Vera Shields is being played by Angela Lansbury! Ms. Lansbury would like to point out, however, that the purple-grenade coat and limp ponytail were not her ideas.

  299. Poteet
    January 20th, 2008 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    # 297 Loopina — AAAAAGH! *heads off to bed sobbing softly*

  300. Uncle Lumpy
    January 20th, 2008 at 1:55 am [Reply]

    Hey Hey! It’s Sunday with the Drivers, patronizing the help.

  301. Joe Btfsplk
    January 20th, 2008 at 2:58 am [Reply]


    Dennis the Menace – That shoulder… I must kiss it.

    Family Circus – Or alternately, she could have a pigtail, and a horseyback. Odd how it works both ways. Okay, I’m just desperate to find some way to make this thing interesting.

    Gil Thorp – Yikes! A-Train’s facial bizarreness is straining even the fabric of the Gil Thorp universe now. Within a few days he will cross some sort of comic-strip event horizon and rematerialize as a villain in Dick Tracy. “Parsnipface,” maybe, or “Q. Cumberhead,” or “The Eel.”

  302. Mr. O'Malley
    January 20th, 2008 at 3:03 am [Reply]

    Very strange stuff in Mary Worth today, all to do with mirrors.

    In panel 3 Drew is holding a comb in front of his head, while mirror-image Drew (who is much smaller) has an empty hand on the side of his head. Also, Drew is leaning forward while mirror-image Drew is not.

    In panel 4, Drew and mirror-image Drew are the same size, but Drew has his mouth closed and is holding the comb, while mirror image Drew has his mouth open and is not holding a comb (makes sense, I guess, since he didn’t have one in the previous panel either).

    In panel 6, Drew is smiling and facing away from the mirror with his head tilted toward it, while mirror-image Drew is not smiling, is sideways on to the mirror and, if anything, is tilted away from the mirror.

    Usually in literature mirrors that show something other than a reflection of what is in front of them are associated with a visitation from the supernatural. Or possibly a visitation from the Marx Brothers.

    This being Santa Royale, with its expanding and contracting casserole dishes, dogs suspended in mid-air and so forth, I suspect that the explanation is that the amount of meddling taking place in such a confined space has meddled even with the laws of physics.

  303. Mibbitmaker
    January 20th, 2008 at 3:31 am [Reply]

    Sunday (keeping the punchline from the new Tiger in mind…):

    FW: Batiuk’s not very good with laughs.

    Cranky: Then again…..

    BBailey: You shouldn’t be displeased, Fuzz. Any sycophant worth his salt would be thrilled with that outcome. Don’t you think Dwight Schrute would kill for a Michael Scott shirt?

    FC: Oh, that darn internet an’ how it’s destroying kids’ pure enjoyment of other things! *Tsk-tsk!*

    MT: Homer Simpson: “Mmmmmmmm! doooooormouuuuuuuuse!”

    FOOB: …And yet Mikey’s markings make more sense than his later writing.

  304. Mr. O'Malley
    January 20th, 2008 at 4:25 am [Reply]

    302. Since I mentioned it, here‘s the classic Marx Brothers mirror scene from Duck Soup. Still makes me laugh although I’ve seen it dozens of times.

  305. Keg of Curd
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:11 am [Reply]

    Aw, gee, I really didn’t like that Lio today.

  306. lesles
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:53 am [Reply]

    sod it! has chennux been margoing with the chronical comics time tunnel? browser says i’m there, but all i’m seeing is null-space.

  307. Mr. O'Malley
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:56 am [Reply]

    306. Works fine for me. Except that Beetle Bailey wasn’t funny.

  308. lesles
    January 20th, 2008 at 6:57 am [Reply]

    #307 Mr. O’Malley – “Except that Beetle Bailey wasn’t funny”

    well, at least we know there are limits to chennux’s power

  309. Baka Gaijin
    January 20th, 2008 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    #305 Keg of Curds: At least Lio would try to reanimate Calvin. Who else would you have rather found the bodies?

    Margo? She’d steal the toboggan, Hobbes, and Calvin’s skull so she’ll have something to drink hot toddies from when she returns to Apartment 3-G. At some point she’d “slap some sense” into LuAnn with Hobbes, which is “Murder One” according to the police.

    Mary Worth?She’d drag Calvin’s remains back to his parents, then biddy them into driving off a cliff on the toboggan after an intervention with her self-righteous friends.

    Dr. Drew? He’d pass right by, oblivious to the carnage, monologuing to himself while making jazz hands. The squirrels in the background, Bip & Bop, lean toward each other, saying “Chichichi chi chi!” which is squirrel for “What a putz!” then throw an acorn at Dr. Drew’s head and say “Bonk!”

    Rex Morgan? He’d stand there looking wistful, thinking about all those trouser trouts Calvin did not catch.

    Ed Crankshaft? Even though they’ve been dead over a decade, he’d run them over in his bus out of spite.

    Cathy? She’d throw up her arms while saying “Aaack” then go shopping for shoes and complain about being fat while scarfing donuts, Elly Foob style.

    Elly Patterson? She’d heap scorn on the scene because it’s not about Michael the Perfect. Then she’d go home and scarf butter tarts, Cathy style.

    Grampa Jim? After he wheeled himself out there to die Eskimo style, he’d eye the scene and exclaim “Boxcar!” while the thought balloon says, “Finally, a place I can die in peace.” Jim is happy until Iris drags him back for more condescension and occasional visits from that self-centered crotch spawn of his psychotic potato-nosed daughter.

    Slylock Fox? He’d stand there, eyes wide open, staring at Cassandra Cat while Max looks at Hobbes’ butt with his tiny magnifying glass.

    The General? He’d go back to the O-club at Camp Swampy and drink the scene out of his mind.

    Daisy? She’d run back to the Bumstead’s house, barking furiously and twisting excitedly at Dagwood. After a few panels of guessing, Dagwood follows her to the scene.

    Dagwood? Since there’s nothing edible because Calvin’s flesh rotted away and nowhere to sleep, Dagwood would go home, fix a sky high cardiologist’s special sandwich then hibernate on the couch afterward to digest it, much like a python digesting a rabbit.

    Ted Forth? He’d try to gather the remains to bring back for God-knows-what involving an obscure 80′s toy but fail when his impossibly dainty wrists snap off.

    Sally Forth? She’d spout a bon mot about Ted adding his girlish wrists to the scene then smirk wryly.

    ‘Onion’? He’d rip up Hobbes on the spot, then gather Calvin’s bones to jab into Curtis in the halls of school.

    Catbert? He’d get a peon to drag the carcasses back to the office, then he’d bury them in his sandbox, including the peon.

    Jeremy? He’d text message his new girlfriend Annoya, I mean Viral, who’d come by, build a crematorium, burn the remains, dig up some clay and make an urn during the roasting, whip up some paper and make a handsome condolence card, then ironically die from a virus living on Hobbes fake fur. Jeremy would get bored on the way home and leave the urn at the coffee shop where, through hilarious hijinks, the ashes end up in the espresso machine, no one the wiser.

  310. True Fable
    January 20th, 2008 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    Freeze-dried snarkin’!

    JP Let’s read the telegraph:”..dit dit dit dit Gloria is going to fall for Steve Rogers Shannon, a.k.a. Captain Cleancut!…dit dit dit! Now for the part that didn’t come through the wires: Abbey is still horny from the brownies and now turns her sights on the hapless Dan! Sam, you always miss the fun, son.
    MW That Cory boy just keeps morphing his face with each passing panel. Panel two shows him sporting the pugilist nose look, Panel three proves he can only stare at himself and not at the hideous headache-inducing jacket he’s got on; panel four reveals his ability to keep his mouth closed in reality while his mirror image smiles widely; panel five displays his luxuriously combed-back hair with its VO-5, 1950′s teen idol look, and panel six shows half his face is sliding down his neck, while the mirror doesn’t resemble ANY of the previous views. Multiple Personality Drew: he has a lot of girlfriends, but all of them are blind.
    A3G Dear Comics Gnome: PLEASE, this year have comics celebrate things like New Year’s a little earlier! By the time Alan gets his first glass of booze he’ll be celebrating the New Year on St. Patrick’s Day.
    FBoFW In today’s lesson, Mikey teaches Elly to put up the goddamn felt pens and anything else that might even come close to making a mark on something she might want to keep unmarked.
    Me, I once had a perfectly charming stick figure inked on a bottom cabinet in the Fable kitchen. I promised not to do it again, and my children thanked me for trying to be good. :-)
    BONUS FEATURE: Mikey learns early how to get out of an ass-whuppin’ by fessing up early and eliciting an iron-clad promise not to knock him into next week for doing something he knew good and damn well he shouldn’t. Little prick.

  311. Baka Gaijin
    January 20th, 2008 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    And I thought I was going to kill this thread!

  312. True Fable
    January 20th, 2008 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    FW Okay, okay. I LAUGHED at today’s offering. Batiuk bringing some funny? I’d better send him a card, he must be running a fever.
    H&L Today in Scenes of Suburban Hell we find a real live funny comic. OMG, what happened? No out-of-touch beatniks, hippies, or flower power designs? No lazy kids, “honey I’m home” or any other stereotypes? WHAT, no “I hate you, you bastard who keeps me trapped in this sham of a marriage”? Just a funny snowball joke?
    I mean, I guess I shouldn’t complain but I am admittedly perplexed.
    FC Apparently the Keanes traded PJ for six tickets to the road show production of Grammar School Musical. “It’s a fair cop.”

  313. Baka Gaijin
    January 20th, 2008 at 8:16 am [Reply]

    Shout out to Cow and Boy! Only this strip dares to show a boy with a huge brach impaled in his hiney.

    Mr. Fable, I say, where is everyone? We seem to be the only ones here.

  314. True Fable
    January 20th, 2008 at 8:18 am [Reply]

    #311 Baka Gaijin – You did. I’m overkilling it. :-)

  315. True Fable
    January 20th, 2008 at 8:21 am [Reply]

    I have no idea, my dear Baka!

    Hey, people! It’s EIGHT AM on Sunday morning! Where’s your snark, where’s your one-two punches?

    Looks like it’s you and me, buddy.

  316. Baka Gaijin
    January 20th, 2008 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Eight? It’s half past 1 in the afternoon here. I’m going out to get some groceries and a George Foreman. Avenge my death if I don’t post within the next 24 hours.

  317. ChattyGenes
    January 20th, 2008 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Um…I’m here too! Good morning!

    And True Fable, your take on Mike (BONUS FEATURE, #310) was right on. I wanted to slap him into next week when I read that comic!

    (You always get there before I do. *sigh*:-)

  318. Baka Gaijin
    January 20th, 2008 at 8:38 am [Reply]

    Ohio Goyziamoose, Chatty! You wouldn’t believe the instant yakisoba here. Same square bowls but you make it in the microwave and don’t drain the water. Made correctly, it’s halfway to half cooked ramen. Uhh, better think of something quick to bring this post back on topic. If Cathy ate this, she’d say “Aaack!”

  319. Wanders
    January 20th, 2008 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Mary Worth: Heh heh. Drew said, “gift horse in the mouth.” And we all know what ‘horse’ means in Mary Worth. Heh heh.

  320. ChattyGenes
    January 20th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    #318 Baka Gaijin. Hi! (Just where ARE you?)

    And Elly would snarf it down with slurps, chomps, gulps, and belches! And then complain that she never gets to eat out, or that she never gets paid for washing the dishes, or that now she’s going to get fat. Or something:-)

  321. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 20th, 2008 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Bill Clinton is the Plugger JFK

    Jeff Foxworthy is the Plugger Jerry Seinfeld

    Eminem is the Plugger Run-DMC

    Dennis Quaid is the Plugger Harrison Ford

    Randy Quaid is the Plugger Dennis Quaid

    Dinette Set is the Plugger Zippy the Pinhead.

  322. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 20th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Wheel of Fortune is the Plugger Jeopardy.

  323. True Fable
    January 20th, 2008 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    # 317 Chatty Genes – well good morning sunshine, I was wondering where you were!

    I tried, I really honestly tried to look at FOOB nicely but I fear my perspective has been rotted out by months of nonstop glurge. Frankly I’m surprised Lynnie didn’t retouch Elly in the final panel to make her look only mildly gobsmacked instead of bug-eyed and on the verge of eruption.

  324. Girl Reporter
    January 20th, 2008 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Gift horse in the mouth!?!!

    Why Dr. Drew, how you do tallk! You shore know how to make a girl feel all purty-like.

  325. Baka Gaijin
    January 20th, 2008 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    #320 ChattyGenes: I’m 9 hours behind you in England. Thanks to you I won’t be able to look at that stuff the same way again. Thaaaaaanks, NOT!

    By the way, did Margo forget her lipstick today? I shudder to think she wore it off on What’s-his-name’s goodbye “kiss.”

    Today’s Garfield is alternately “ewww” and “more menacing than Dennis” again.

    I can’t believe no one’s mentioned Vera’s Lerena Bobbit/”I’m gonna cut someone’s manhood off” look in Mary Worth today. Beware Dr. Drew!

    That kid in Slylock Fox is so stupid! If I had an M-80 in my back pocket, that gumball machine would be toast!

  326. Tamex
    January 20th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    #323 True Fable: Lynn used up her drawing quota for the week retouching Thursday’s strip. To retouch this Sunday strip as well would have been way too much work.

  327. queek
    January 20th, 2008 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Pastis is GOD. “light the guitar!”

    Lio is darn close to it today. (does that make Watterson the Holy Ghost?)

    Margo, it just seems that way. With the pacing of A3G, that several-month trip will be years of real time. Could be worse, you could be in Rex Morgan.

  328. sunfleck
    January 20th, 2008 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    Vera appears to be about to unzip her purple flight jacket to reveal her new boob job to Drew. Really, Vera, you needn’t try so hard.

  329. gleeb
    January 20th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    Baldo: Hey, wha happan? Where’s the thrilling pizza joint fight?

    ‘bean: “Windbreaker”. That was funny. It was funny in the 70s when Peter Schickele did it. And came up with the instrument, a series of different-sized mailing tubes. I guess when you have a major character who swindles old ladies, you don’t care about swiping gags.

    Parker: So, you have a legal problem. Maybe someone swiped a gag from you, maybe your son got high and stole a car. You walk into the law office and the first thing you see is bare midriff. Do you walk right out again, or do you run?

    Rex: Classics Comix presents: To Start a Fire.

    Sally: It’s not coffee in that mug, is it?

  330. Allie Cat
    January 20th, 2008 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    MW – After all this build up – if Vera Shields isn’t knocked up, I’m going to be PISSED. Or, as Bernice from Luann might say, WEE’d.

  331. Daktari
    January 20th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    Am I the only one having problems opening Dean Booth’s Sunday Comix Page? Both Safari and Firefox tell me that his “yo-god” site is not responding. I know I can get the Sunday comics elsewhere, but I really like to use his site. Thanks

  332. Godzooky
    January 20th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

    A3G: Is this New Year’s in Kansas City or something? New Year’s in New York City was more like this and, if anything, after midnight, the lights stay bright and the party’s just getting started.

    To date, I haven’t run across a chain of bars named “BAR” that promote themselves with neon signs you can spot from a satellite, but that may be because I’m not a drinker.

    There’s a flight to China that departs New York immediately after midnight on New Year’s Day? In order to expect enough passengers to make it worth the trouble, the airline must offer one heck of a discount. And Eric scheduling himself on that filght not only means he’s cheap, but he devoted his New Year’s Eve to packing and going through airport security rather than celebrating with Margo.

    Not sure how to break it to you, Margo, but that may be a hint he’s not that into you…

  333. Moss_Moses
    January 20th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    Drew Corey has the same fashion consultant as Jon Arbunkle. Besides the hideous suit, his mirror images are way out of synch with him standing in front of the mirror.

    As for burning money to send smoke signals for a deranged killer to find you, are they in Lost Forest or something? That is just butt stupid.

    btw: Allie Cat, how would you feel about Vera having clap? Recent research has proven that men can spread clap just like women!

  334. mnemonica
    January 20th, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    331 Daktari: I have the same problem; I’ve tried Firefox, Safari and an old Netscape. I came here to look for direction.

  335. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 20th, 2008 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    Yeah, I had the same problem this morning with Dean Booth’s page.

  336. John C Fremont
    January 20th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    So I wake up to a depressing feature story on the radio about Wilhelm Reich which led me to watch Kate Bush’s “Cloudbuster” video a couple of times on YouTube, and then I got the news about Suzanne Pleshette, and THEN I read Lio. The only thing that kept me from crying was the sight of Drew Cory in that goofball sport coat. The fact that I have a similar one somewhere in my closet is entirely beside the point. The point is, Lio was sad and Drew Cory is a buffoon.

    And from her coat, I’m guessing that Vera is planning to meet up with Drew somewhere in the Northwest Territories. Or maybe she’s gearing up for a performance os Harry Dinkle’s “Windbreaker Concerto.” Or maybe she’s just stupid.

    I should probably work on my attitude.

  337. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 20th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    So I used the Seattle Post-Intelligencer comics page instead:

  338. Skullturf Q. Beavispants
    January 20th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    The Washington Post also appears to have a lot of Sunday comics:

  339. Daktari
    January 20th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    338 – SQB – Yeah, thats the one I use for backup, but it’s nice to use Dean’s, just cuz he’s put all that work into making it easy for everyone here.

  340. Comic Connoisseur
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    Bats’ link to “Least I Could Do” introduced me to a new comic – and I love it. I spent a good part of yesterday reading old storylines in the archives. Sorry if this one has been posted before but it was new to me – it was one where the comic went meta and the main character, Rayne, decided to search out another comic to join and walked into the Foobiverse ever so briefly. Please to enjoy:

  341. Godzooky
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

    Nitpicking RMMD:

    1. At the fishing trip’s start, Niki and Rex sported a Shazam! T-shirt and plaid shirt, respectively.
    2. For the actual fishing, they were both T-shirted.
    3. Readying to go to Lee’s cabin, Rex donned a windbreaker (didn’t even zip up), Niki a pullover shirt.

    So, if it’s so cold that they feel forced to burn money to survive, why didn’t they dress for it in the first place?

    (By the way, “When the trout start biting…?” “Back cast…?” Who does Woody Wilson think he’s fooling?)

  342. True Fable
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    PBS Burn geetar! Burn geetar! XD
    DtM Question: If Wilson’s been standing in his yard for any amount of time, wouldn’t he have checked to see where Master Menace was; have noticed the chock of snowballs; observed the boy pitching them at various things, and stared RIGHT AT the back of the boy as he started to launch the snowball over his shoulder? And shouldn’t Wilson, as the supposed adult, have just gone back inside or stepped away from the FENCE?
    1 Freebie MenaceWatch2008 point to Dennis for reminding the old guy if he is dumb enough to wait for it, he’s dumb enough to get it.

  343. Flipper
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know who I pity more in Sunday’s Family Circus: The kids who have to sit behind the towering adults (especially those behind beehive-coiffured Amazonian Grandma), or the adults who have to sit in those tiny chairs.

  344. bats :[
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    336. John C Fremont: what times are these when I get the latest news on CC? Sad news about Suzanne Pleshette (she died of lung cancer at 70), but I still think it’s a kick that she married Tom Poston in 2000. George Utley scores!

    My list of sites for strip-scrounging:

    Dean Booth’s site (it’s on the fritz for me at the moment)

    Also and on occasion, or so for some of the more obscure ones, like The New Adventures of Queen Victoria.

    All of them have their ups and downs (some won’t let you access the Sunday strips, etc.), but they usually get the snark done.

  345. Godzooky
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    S-M: How is it that the two disposable panels with the family/friends/villains galleries somehow have more action and plot development than the last two months of this strip?

    (I think I saw Drew Cory in their bedroom mirror, though.)

  346. lesles
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    yeah, i had problems with Dean Booth’s page too. as i said earlier, i just assumed it was chennux. you can get everything through other sites, but it’s just not the same

  347. lesles
    January 20th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    good god, it’s 4am. why am i not in bed? i’d like to blame CC and the intertubes, but i know i’d be here even if they didn’t exist, staring blankly at advertorial and evangelical telly or reading biscuit packets

  348. Mibbitmaker
    January 20th, 2008 at 1:10 pm [Reply]

    #309 (Baka): More What If someone else found Calvin & Hobbes besides Lio:

    Popeye? He’d take out his can of spinach and pour it through Calvin’s skeletal mouth, which’d bring him back to life (Well, at least in the animated cartoons)! Needless to say, next we’d see the kid’s parents in massive disappointment.

    Mikey Patterson? He’d leave the corpse there and write a “profound” book of drivel about it.

    Danae? She’d use them to set up a contrived allegory about how bad the current administration is, with the gruesome remains standing in for the Iraq war dead.

    Mallard? He’d use the situation to wax smug on some issue — probably how we’d look being taxed by Hillary/Obama/whoever — with a footnote to some right-wing publication included.

    Aldo? Since he’s also dead, he’ll just pull up alongside Calvin and rest.

    Any one of the Keane Kids? Five words: Buried in the back yard.

    Lucy Van Pelt? “Who cares? That tiger doll is mine now!”

    Spider-Man? What any superhero would do: Go home and watch TV.

    Marmaduke? Well, a bone is a bone.

    Les Moore? Being a tragedy, he’d just smile, Or smirk. And it’ll be more than 20 years afterwards.

    Lockhorns? One would say to the other, “…Did we have a kid?”

    The Get Fuzzy pets?
    Bucky: “Well, that’s what you get…”
    Satchel: “For what?”
    Bucky: “For anything?”
    Satchel: “Wise words! I think.”

  349. Moon Mullins
    January 20th, 2008 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    Another 70′s TV icon has joined Suzanne Pleshette in the afterlife:

    Alice’s boyfriend “Sam the butcher”

    And there is a comics link here. The late Allan Melvin, who played Sam, was also the voice for Magilla Gorilla.

  350. TB Tabby
    January 20th, 2008 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    In case today’s Lio doesn’t break your heart enough, here’s Alan Moore’s take on Pogo.

  351. Baka Gaijin
    January 20th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    #348 Mibbitmaker: Great additions to the list. I especially like Lucy Van Pelt’s reaction. I hope the list keeps growing. Won’t someone think of the kids? Who’ll think about Gil Thorp and Archie?

  352. bats :[
    January 20th, 2008 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    Sunday comments:

    RMMD: poor Niki! He’s so cold that he’s rapidly devolving into the world of primary colors. Hurry, Rex, hurry! More friction!
    (And geez Louise, Rex, it’s not like YOU ever had to worry where your rent payment was coming from. It’s not like Niki was planning to blow it on drugs, video games, or buying sexual favors from his peers, or minors, or something…heck, sexual favors.)

    Lio: funny. disturbing. and yes, my choice for Junior Reanimator of the Year!

    FOOB: can a five-year-old be an asshole? He can speak in complete sentences, understands the concept of a coloring book, can whinge and wheedle his mother endlessly (what a farkin’ long time it seemed to take to read this drek this morning!), and he proceeds to use markers on furniture. I guess the crapapple Wobin doesn’t fall far from the tree.
    And were kids Michael’s age using Crayola markers at that point in the century, or were crayons still the norm? Maybe LJ retro-ed those.

    Hanky Panky Alert!!!
    Yes, indeed, in the JP universe, “a second cup of coffee” does mean what we think it does (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). Why else has Gloria changed from her grey skirt into green low-riding slacks (all the better to display her toned yet supple midriff)?
    And holy moley, both she and Sam are using new cups! What moral depravity do these two sink to while waiting for clients and potential (legal) partners?!
    (In today’s episode, Steve Shannon is played by Daniel Craig. Just had to mention that.)

  353. Poteet
    January 20th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    A3G — Ah, Margo. Another woman thinking that thought in the last panel might look wistful, regretful, worried, or sad. But you, Ms. Magee, are ever-faithful to your one dominating facial expression — “really pissed off.”

  354. Anonymous
    January 20th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    =91= MW (RCW3000): Not only has this tree-trimmer making egregious use of a pole pruner, he’s doing a heading cut on a healthy branch. He’s probably going to horribly malprune those trees. Why can’t Mary meddle in something like this?

  355. Anonymous
    January 20th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    =91= MW (RCW3000): Not only is this tree-trimmer making egregious use of a pole pruner, he’s doing a heading cut on a healthy branch. He’s probably going to horribly malprune those trees. Why can’t Mary meddle in something like this?

  356. Loopina
    January 20th, 2008 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    #352: Yes, there were felt-tip markers at that time – though most of us drew on ourselves, not the furniture. Crayons were the safer option, but the colors weren’t as vibrant.
    And, yes, “some” 5-year-olds can be assholes.

    Single and Looking – nice ref to Zits.

  357. Spotted HØrse
    January 20th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    #355: Sheiss. I just malpruned a tree yesterday. Oh, the treemanity!

  358. Alfred E. Neuman
    January 20th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    Daktari –Dean’s site has been down for about three days now. I hope he can get it back on line soon.
    Another site with lots o’ comics:

  359. bats :[
    January 20th, 2008 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

  360. Spotted HØrse
    January 20th, 2008 at 3:16 pm [Reply]

    #350 TB Tabby: Wow. That was brilliant, and tragic, and way cool. Thanks for posting.

  361. Hank
    January 20th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

    RE: Lio. You know what…fuck Lio, fuck the writer of the strip and fuck any horse he might have ridden in on.

  362. Mooncattie
    January 20th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

    JP – Uh, Gloria, showing your navel at the office isn’t quite what we meant by making Steve the JAG guy feel at home.

    Never mind the brownies, what’s in that coffee??

    Imagine how boring this strip would be if they stuck to Law or Judge-related matters.

  363. Dingo
    January 20th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    Dollars to donuts, Vera Shields is pregnant. How she got pregnant is anyone’s guess since this is Mary Worth and all she and Drew did was exchange phone numbers and saliva.

  364. Islamorada Girl
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

    We need Gold Digging Nanny to figure out every single thing (and they are legion) that’s wrong with the current RMMD storyline. You could roll a Mack truck through the holes in the plot.

    And I found today’s Lio to be both outrageous and funny at the same time.

    So how ya likin’ Kutztown, DIngo? I spent a semester there when dinosaurs ruled the earth and a hell hag named Marietta P. King was Dean of Women. We weren’t even allowed to walk off campus in pants. It’s changed a lot since then. Try the good Amish cooking around those parts! Shoofly pie!

  365. Tamex
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    #332 Godzooky: A3G must take place in Bozeman, Montana, home of this sign.

  366. Lindsey
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Lio made me cry. Wow.

    And this is officially the most horrific Mary Worth comic in the history of Mary Worth comics. I don’t even know where to begin, but I hate Drew Cory more with every passing moment. And those clothes make me vomit.

  367. ChattyGenes
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    #352 Bats.

    “And were kids Michael’s age using Crayola markers at that point in the century, or were crayons still the norm? Maybe LJ retro-ed those.”

    My kids’ ages paralleled the ages of Mike and Elizabeth. Yes indeed, Crayola markers were around then. My older daughter and her little friend (my best friend’s daughter) were three then, and used the blanket-binding edges of one of our wool blankets as a canvas for their artwork. There were apologies. There was punishment. And then we all forgot about it. (except that said kids did not do that kind of thing again!)

    And there is the wool blanket on my futon these cold winter days. The artwork remains–somehow I never got around to having the blanket dry-cleaned–or maybe I did, and it didn’t come out? I didn’t really care. And that wool blanket is still the warmest one in the house.

    (And that last sentence is FACT, not Coffee-Talk, sentimental glurge!)

  368. Tamex
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    #352 bats :[ : I am Michael’s age, and we had markers back then. They weren’t the wimpy “washable” ones, either. We had a child-sized table which we would color at which was covered in marker stains from over-enthusiastic coloring or marker soak-through. The question is whether Michael accidentally got some marker on the couch or if he deliberately drew there. The other question was why would he be coloring on the couch instead of a hard surface like a table.

  369. ChattyGenes
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:38 pm [Reply]

    #368 Tamex. Kids will try their markers on anything. (See my #367.) And when our table was completely covered with junk (which was often), they put their drawing paper right on the tatami mats, the wood floor, or on any upholstered furniture–whatever they could find:-)

  370. Starrynight
    January 20th, 2008 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    MW- Actually, I think Vera has decided to go to med school, ala Dawn Weston. She wants Drew to be her special tutor…

  371. Vince M
    January 20th, 2008 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

    Baka Gaijin, bats :[ – I’d have mixed reactions to Lio reanimating Calvin…I like the kid, but I don’t like zombie strips.
    This strip was creepy, but not nearly as much as the ‘Robot Chicken’ C&H bit.

  372. Skulking on the Outskirts
    January 21st, 2008 at 5:39 am [Reply]

    Sunday’s Lio was sweet, touching, sad……and very, very disturbing.

    In other words, a classic Lio. I think Calvin would approve. Hobbes would just roll his eyes, but go along with it.

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