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The Many Loves Of Marvin’s Grandpa should be an HBO series

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Gil Thorp, 7/18/12

At last, this summer’s wacky Gil Thorp storyline comes into focus! And it involves … one of Gil’s former students, who joined the military and then was physically maimed and mentally scarred in combat, and has become a recluse? Damn it, that’s not wacky at all. Though surely whatever non-board-certified tough love therapy Gil will unleash on him will be good for a laugh or two. One also wonders if the particular nature of the poor young man’s injury is meant play to the strip’s artist’s strengths, since there’s guaranteed to be one fewer hideous flipper-hand per panel whenever he makes an appearance.

Pluggers and Marvin, 7/18/12

Ha ha, old people, they sure hate the computers and the social networking, right? Oh, wait, that just seems a little at odds with all the old people I know who love Facebook and the many pictures of grandchildren it provides to them. Anyway, mostly I would like to point out that (a) these pluggers have found reporting of plugger-esque exploits on the society pages, which in most newspapers are usually dedicated to fancy parties thrown by the wealthy and beautiful, which means that in Pluggerville there are people even lower on the social ladder than these guys; and (b) I would like a comic about Marvin’s grandpa and his cranky old friend cruising for sexy grandmas in the park a million times better than Marvin’s current Marvin-pooping-focused iteration.

Shoe, 7/18/12

Whoops, looks like Roz served the Perfesser a meal intended for one of the many insectivorous birds who patronize her diner! Also, she is extremely sarcastic.

187 responses to “The Many Loves Of Marvin’s Grandpa should be an HBO series”

  1. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:32 am [Reply]

    Archie — Sprained it? From here it looks like Archie had his foot amputated!

    Mandrake — A switcheroo could mean certain sexual perks for Mandrake. Lothar IS an African prince after all, so Mandrake would suddenly gain access to Lothar’s numerous concubines. Not to mention Lothar’s princess bride (if he has one).

    Unfortunately for our hero, a switch would also bring the tawdy clandestine affair Lothar is having with Mandrake’s girlfriend into the open. Sorry, Mandrake, but forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest!

  2. BrutusJ
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    “Coach Thorpe, that’s clearly not your arm that you’re holding just below the elbow in panel 2. Any chance that it’s mine? May I have it back please?”

  3. S.Stout
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    Gil: It’s funny because he has one arm? Huh?

    Luann: Everyone goes to the theater and laughs at Tiffany when her scene is cut out. This awful, overplayed joke will take weeks to set up.

    Shoe:Given that Cosmo is an Osprey, he should be eating mainly fish, and the occasional animal. He’s more likely to eat a bug than a salad.

  4. nescio
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    A3G: Tommie’s faded into the background in an extreme display of blandness.

  5. Chareth Cutestory
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: How can this storyline become 1000% awesomer? Make that one-armed man turn out to be the club’s golf pro!

    Pluggers: If there are people lower in society than Pluggers, they would have to be Morlocks. Which also explains why Pluggers are such fatted calves.

    Pluggers, pt II: I don’t know why, but “the Fredbury boy” sounds like such an ominous child. I’m sure that right after he made Eagle Scout he also made a small house catch fire and masturbated while staring at it. In theaters this Halloween, “The Fredbury Boy”–evil won’t stay buried long!

  6. nescio
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:44 am [Reply]

    Oh, crap. Shoe is a purple martin, noted for eating insects. And I’m wasting brain cells storing this knowledge.

  7. Mibbitmaker
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    Shoe: MacNelly probably rejected the idea of doing that joke way back when he was drawing editorial cartoons about Watergate.

    Pluggers: More like Smuggers.

    GT: That’s not wacky — it’s “Batiuk”.

    A3G: Don Pardo: “….Bill Murray…..”

    9CL: Typical McEldowney — The adolescent “maturity”… the unhealthy idea of “love”…. the sex obsession…. the romance novel level of the writing….. theOMIGOD, THAT’S NOT HAND SEX, THAT’S REAL SEX! 9CL, I… I just don’t know you anymore!

    Curtis: Curtis has no soul.

    JP: “…Just a friendly warnin’ to ya, boys.”

    MT: “Yeah…. some giant, purple — but well drawn — guy wants it for some lodge run by a woman who carries a hammer all around for some reason….”

    S-M: Clowny meant to say, “Tonight, I’ll leave this town in stupid.”

    ZtP: Will Elder is either deliriously happy or rolling in his grave. Or maybe both.

  8. Chaze126
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    Uh, Gil? Do you think you might want to start Tessa off with a driver that’s not longer than she is tall? They’re called Kiddie Klubs. I know in your world only little kids use them….but she’s a little kid. And tell her to stop staring at the one-armed guy.

  9. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    9CL: Their desire was most definitely not unrequited. It was, in fact, very requited. So much so that they both left holy orders to be together.

    I guess what I’m saying, Brooke, is, “You keep using words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.”

  10. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:53 am [Reply]

    GT: So it turns out this guy got traumatized and can’t dress himself properly any more, with the result that one arm always gets stuck inside his shirt. At least, I presume that’s what’s going on. I mean, if he’d actually lost his arm, he’d be required by law to pin up the sleeve, wouldn’t he?

  11. Dennis Jimenez
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    GT – Gee – and my first impression was that he was just patting himself on the back….

    A plugger socialist gathering is a barn dance…in Canada…where they have a decent universal health care system….

    Shoe – Man, that really sticks in my gizzard….

    Adios Amigos, DJ.

  12. Mibbitmaker
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#6): A purple martin, huh….

    I wonder if the last name of Bubba in Judge Parker is Martin…..?

  13. Dood
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: Yeah, yeah, but what about the obits? Are there any good funeral barbecues?

  14. Vanya
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Is Marvin set somewhere in Eastern Europe? In Kiev I recall lots of grandmothers in the park. In the US I see mostly nannies, stay at home moms and the occasional stay at home dad.

    We also actually see the park as an opportunity to take the kid out of the stroller, rather than gab in the middle of the sidewalk, but maybe that’s just us.

  15. S.Stout
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    @nescio (#6):

    To be fair, an osprey is eating this meal, not a purple martin. However, ospreys only eat meat.

  16. Mibbitmaker
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:57 am [Reply]

    New Pop Culture’s Kids is up!

    More noir.

    Okay, that didn’t quite rhyme. Maybe it’s a “soft rhyme”…..

  17. nescio
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    @S.Stout (#15): Josh mentioned the insectivorous birds in the strip without acknowledging the title character.

  18. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    @Vanya (#14): Actually, no — this happens to be a fairly accurate representation. Due to safety concerns, the law requires that children not be taken out of strollers in parks unless a registered Child Safety Expert is on hand. Along the same lines, it is illegal to drive your wife and newborn home from the hospital unless you have a certified child seat installed in your car. If you don’t, then you must call a taxi.

  19. Rinaldo
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    Doonesbury: So Jeff is lusting after Alex? And he’s her uncle?

  20. Vanya
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#9): When has any character’s desire ever gone unrequited in Brooke’s universe? In Luann every desire is frustrated by the most improbable and transparent authorial contrivances, 9CL is just pure masturbatory fantasy. Between these two strips I’m almost pining for the social realism and dramatic tension of FBOFW.

  21. Vanya
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:10 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#18): Kiev had similarly harsh regulations – I think any See Saw with more than 4 rusty nails poking out of it had to be removed within six months. And the whining about a few dozen broken bottle shards in the sand box… Sheesh.

  22. Hibbleton
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    JP: Little does Bubba know that Sam’s ACME waders contain rocket skates, a jet pack, dehydrated boulders, an anvil, a case of dynamite, and a catapult.

  23. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#y2): yeah, I saw that yesterday, was quite amazed. Rumor has it that she’d been down-voting otterpics on Daily Squee.

    what goes around, comes around.

  24. LP2004
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#22): I’d love to work in Product Development at the ACME Corporation.

    Product Testing, not so much.

  25. Gloom Raider
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    When I saw the title of the post, I thought, “But Dream On was already an HBO show, wasn’t it?” Then I started wondering how old the characters from Dream On would be now. Anything to avoid thinking about Marvin… ;-)

  26. Marc
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    Luann- Somebody please, please hang Crystal by her stupid dog collar from a ceiling fan. It might actually kill her to not be a miserable bitch for 5 minutes.

    Mark Trail- The words “trophy hunter” have the word hunter right in it. That would imply that it is a person who does the hunting. Now I don’t hunt, I could never go out and kill an animal for fun, but the people I know that do hunt don’t go out and by other people’s mounts. If you’re going to mount an animal and show it off, you’d kind of like it to be one you bagged yourself. Somebody correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think there is a very big market for pre-shot animals. Unless they are in it for the ram’s horns, which the newest batch of villainous morons have stated they aren’t.

    Mary Worth- I hear deck 4 is the party deck. Anything goes up there. And since this is Mary Worth, anything goes means widespread de-shawling and hot and heavy backgammon games.

    9CL- Oh hey look, more sex…. I mean art.

    Funky- I would love it if the guy behind Les gets down on all fours, and the person of undetermined sex in front of Les pushes him backwards, where he will fall over fellow number one and start his long painful descent down the mountain.

    A3G- So I take it all of the fluids and blood and residual birthing debris are just still all over the floor? How about the post birth observation of the mother and baby to make sure everyting is alright and to make sure there is no hemmoraging or infection? And Nina would be dead tired, yet the kid was born about 15 minutes ago and she looks like she’s 6 months old and Nina is exactly the same as she was before. Showing no signs of physical exhaustion or pain nor any sign of baby weight. Neither Bolle nor Shulock have ever had a kid or known anyone who’s had a kid, have they? I’m no parent nor do I have plans on being one anytime soon, but you don’t have to be to know some of the basics about birth.

  27. sporknpork
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:17 am [Reply]

    I’m going to take a stab at what animals those last names listed represent: the Tankleys are elephants because their trunks look like the main gun of a tank attached to a turret, and the Fredburys are… griffins.

  28. Anonymous
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail I don’t think you guys understand what “Trophy Hunters” are. They are people who shoot animals for the specific parts. That makes you guys in the plane, in that you are only interested in the head, the actual trophy hunters in this case. If your (IMO) dubious contention that there are people who will pay lots of money for the mounted head of an animal they themselves had not part in the hunting thereof is true, then those people could be defined at “hunting trophy hunters”. Or just go with “taxidermy fetishists”. Simpler.

    MW Great- they’re going to be stuck in the lifeboat with clueless professor baldbeard there. The brutality is increasing exponentially.

    Gil Is that a stunted clone of Weird Al he’s playing with? Although if anyone could pull off a Mini-Me besides Dr. Evil, it’s him. I see a parody of “Somebody that I Used to Know” turning into “I Have a Body that Refused to Grow” coming out any time now.

  29. TheDiva
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    GT: Still, it’s bound to be better than Wally Winkerbean’s arc.

    Pluggers prefer to keep their friends at a distance the old-fashioned way.

  30. geekwhisperer
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:29 am [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#28): oh crap, and 28 is me, on different machine. Curse you, wife’s new-used laptop (second round of OS attempt).

  31. pastordan
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Back after a bit, but for right now, can I just say f– the motherf-ing GoComics? Their inability to properly code their site has momentarily impinged on my enjoyment of free content this morning!

  32. teenchy
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#29): It’s a sad, sad day when GT rips off FW. But hey, since GT is ostensibly a sports strip, maybe we’ll get some Pete Gray references, no?

  33. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Frazz: it’s an awful recovery drink.

    9CL: Women are always on top in BrookeWorld. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ;-)

    AD: OUCH!!!!!

    Doons: it’s the pixels, you see. . . .*gigglez at meme reference, intentional or not.*

    PBS: ouch!!!

    Bizarro: /facepalm

    Zits: Peirce is a ‘mudgeon.

    RwO: win! *applaz*

    F-: Mommie killed the battery. iykwim. (also, batteries should be disposed of properly, not buried.)

  34. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Love Is . . . hard and stiff to soft and soggy in 6-8 minutes. (slightly longer for MANicotti . . . .)

  35. Tim O'Shenko
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:34 am [Reply]

    Pluggers: This is actually a Real Thing with small-town newspapers. And it’s not just Eagle scouts and wedding anniversaries, they also keep track of who visited whom. For example, you might see a report that reads, “Mrs. Jones and the widow Johnson paid a visit to the home of Mr. & Mrs. Novak this past Tuesday afternoon. The two arrived at 4:00 in the afternoon and stayed until 5:30. Coffee and bars were served.”

  36. Nekrotzar
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    Please, can we have a summer of Gil getting whacked in the shins by 8 year olds?

  37. stopdropreload
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    9CL: So did Diane just abandon Amos to his confusion and heartbreak in order to rush home for some nookie? Damn girl, that’s cold.

    JP: The wheels are clearly turning in Sam’s mind in that last panel. Six weeks from now, Avery will be found dead and full of buckshot on Bubba’s property, still wearing the deer fursuit Sam convinced him to put on after a couple of bottles of Beatrice’s wine. Then: bitter recriminations between Bubba and Beatrice as they are arrested on murder and accessory charges respectively, the purchase of the lodge by Sam at a song, and the deposit of a large, seven-figure sum of mysterious provenance into the Spencer-Driver bank account. Yes, it’s all coming together.

  38. fillmoreeast
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Shoe: There’s also a salad around this bug. Where’s the steaming pile of trout innards and torn-apart whole mice I ordered?

  39. Esther Blodgett
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @Hibbleton (#22): And some of that paint that turns a picture of a road on a boulder into a real road when you run into it.

  40. Mark B.
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    JP: The stag was named Boy George, and Bubba really wanted to hurt him?

  41. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#y58): And don’t forget Dumb Bunny of the Inferior Five.

    I haven’t forgotten her. Nor have I forgotten her half-sister Angel (from “Angel and the Ape”). By the way, have I ever told you about the time Captain America teamed up with the Campbell Soup Kids?

  42. UncleJeff
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    DT: Oh, so THAT’S what happened to Dick Nixon, errr…Lt. Teevo.
    Makes you wonder about the relationship between Dick Locher and the new team running DT. It looks like they gave a Locher character a ridiculous Locher death and are otherwise clearing the decks, hopefully for a new and better set of villains.

    Bizzaro: Not a bad idea, although Bruce is a little out of proportion. The Springsteens’ kids are now in their teens and I’ve seen some very funny pictures of Bruce — in his jeans and plaid shirts — standing amongst the very tony parents at the equestrian meets for their children which I’m sure are not held anywhere near the gritty boardwalks of Asbury Park.

  43. stopdropreload
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:47 am [Reply]

    Luann:: Laugh it up, bitch, but your friend is eligible to join the SAG now, and that’s no mean feat for a sixteen year old. I’d like to know what you’ve been accomplishing lately.

  44. geekwhisperer
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    shoe How you know you have worked in the technology industry for too long: It took me three readings to figure out he meant “bug” as in “remote recording device”. I was assuming the salad’s VOIP wasn’t interoperating with the rest of the functions. Salad functions.

  45. casino LF
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    9CL: I like to punish Brooke by messing with his wikipedias. Also, seconding @Frank Lee Meidere on unrequited. Been there. Not what you two are talking about.

    MW: Life is brutally stupid.

    MT: This … this no makey sense, Jackelrod. You can get a bighorn head at a garage sale for like $5, I’m sure.

    RMMD: Why does June look so shocked, again?

  46. TheDiva
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    9CL: So, what were you two going to do if the answer to the last question was “no”? Go at it like monkeys while your little one watched from her bouncer?

    A3G: Even after a long, sleep-free night at the hospital, Mr. Diva remembered to call our parents to let them know I was in the process of birthing their grandkid as soon as it was late enough in the morning for them to be up and about. Then again, we didn’t have to deal with delivering a twelve-pound monstrosity.

    FW: So according to Tom Batiuk, Mount Kilimanjaro resembles nothing so much as the rock quarries they filmed the classic Doctor Who episodes in. Good to know I’m not missing much.

    Luann: Tiffany may be making a mountain out of a molehill, but at least she has a molehill. What have you done lately apart from re-applying your lipstick, Crystal?

    MT: So, that’s your plan: shoot at wildlife from a moving aircraft on the off chance you’ll hit one, then fly several miles to a decent landing area and go back for the corpse (praying that it won’t be spoiled by scavengers or taken by someone else in the several hours it will take you to claim it), then sell the head to someone who’s damn well capable of shooting his own game. Even by the standards of Mark Trail villains, that’s pretty stupid.

    MW: “I don’t know where we’re going! Oh, if only all cruise ships had a mandatory evacuation drill which would inform passengers what to do in the event of an emergency! I’m sure I would have mustered up the incentive to go to such an event, if it existed!” (In other news, please welcome today’s special guest panicked extra, Deckard Cain!)

    SM: You got anything to add, Highly Effeminate Make-Up Artist?

  47. seismic-2
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:53 am [Reply]

    GT: Poor Steve Boone. In GT, he now can never become a professional football player. In FW he could at least become a band director, but since he went out for football he never learned how to play an instrument. Still, things could be much worse. In 9CL, he would be a eunuch.

    Pluggers: It really bothers me that Plugger-dog looks so much like Walt Duncan from Zits. I don’t know why that disturbs me, though, since the really terrifying prospect is that at any minute Plugger-chicken will finish the society pages and will start reading to us from that newspaper’s other popular column, Ask Wendy.

  48. Spotts1701
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    GT: A character with only one arm? And the empty sleeve is not pinned to the shoulder? WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?!?

    Luann: Even Helen Keller could see where this is going.

    9CL: Can’t anybody in this strip control their hormones and urges for five friggin’ minutes?

  49. Marc
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    @stopdropreload (#43): She’s been languishing in her existential angst and reveling in her gothic realism. Life is brutal.

  50. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    Funky Winkerbean

    July 18, 2012 marks the 150th anniversary of another climb:

    First ascent of Dent Blanche, the Alps

    by Gary Satanovsky

    From a certain angle, the imposing mountain does resemble a “white tooth” — the translation of its French name. From almost any angle, it looks rather unapproachable, unclimbable, with steep white slopes piercing through the cloudtops. But where others saw only impossibility, T. S. Kennedy saw opportunity. He had before attempted (unsuccessfully) to climb the nearby unconquered Matterhorn. Compared to that, the Dent Blanche promised to be easy.

    On this day, July 18, in 1862 Kennedy reached the peak of Dent Blanche, accomplishing an ascent of one of the highest mountains in all of Europe. He climbed up the easier southern ridge of the mountain, but not long after another intrepid climber tied to go up on the northern one.

    John Stafford Anderson and George Baker tried the northern ridge with guides Alois Pollinger and Ulrich Almer, taking 12 hours to go up 4,300 feet of treacherous terrain and unpredictable elements. The first comment after reaching the top was Almer’s: Wir sind vier Esel (we are four asses), and so it came to be that the northern ridge of Dent Blanche was named in German Viereselsgrat – “Ridge of the Four Asses.”

  51. debussy fields
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    MW– “I think Deck 4! And for the last time, quit showing off your ventriloquism skills, you asshole!”

  52. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#31): I hear you on that. I’m fighting with Darkgate right now myself, after having just finished with a round of bad coding at the Star comics section, too. One thing gets straightened out, another kinks up. As for GoComics — I quite them long ago. It’s vexing.

  53. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    back-up is a good thing.

    Hollywood needs more of this.

    more crossover win. (cleverer than the usual!)

    new Space Marine Chapter?

    next in FW. (please, o PLEASE!!!)

    yeah, ferrets are like that! *dooks gleefully*

    Resistance is futile. (the ball, throw it you will.)

    Dance like no one is watching.

    epic corgsqui.

  54. geekwhisperer
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:02 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46): on MT- yes- what, exactly, does the plane bring to this scenario? I think ole JE is confused by the concept of ariel hunting which usually involves a helicopter, which in an open area can land. That saves the whole “hiking-in” factor.

    Please, please, please let an angry grizzly feasting on the corpse be the apex of this arc. And, going forward, all arcs. Angry Grizzly Nature Comics. Where is Tom the Dancing Bug when you need him?

  55. catondan
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:13 am [Reply]

    MW – Is that the late George Plimpton making a guest cameo? Is that Mr. Clean next to him?

  56. Droopy Says
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#46): Now, now, be nice to the make-up man. He started out in tatters and now he’s stuck working with MJ and Generic Brand. His life is a rags-to-bitches story.

    Meanwhile, are trophy hunters anything like trophy wives? And has anyone else looked at the ship-sinking in Mary Worth and thought of the chaotic voyage in “The Magic Christian”?

  57. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    Coach T — “Steve, have you ever heard the sound of one hand clapping? Too soon? But the whole room laughed when Becky Howard used it in a joke at our last faculty party!”

  58. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Luann: I’m sure I remember that Tiffany was a body double — the person who sits or stands in the scene until all the lights and cameras are arranged, then leaves so the actor can come on and actually perform the scene. I’m sure I remember that’s what she was doing? If so, there aren’t going to be any scenes with Tiffany in them.

    Am I remembering wrong? Does anyone know?

  59. Pozzo
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    GT: I don’t think the guy with the mustache and cigar in panel one is actually involved with the action. I think he’s just some sort of ominiscient narrator that the characters in the strip can’t see. I appreciate this service as a way of enabling the reader to keep track of the often-fragmented GT storylines, but it shouldn’t be long before he’s saying, “Nah, I don’t know what the fuck’s going on, either. I think maybe they just lost the playdowns.”

  60. TheDiva
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#58): Well, in one strip she was a lighting double, then in another one she was a gofer for the AD, and now apparently she was a day player. So in answer to your question, I don’t think even Evans knows what she did, apart from that he considers it insignificant and worthy of ridicule.

  61. bunivasal
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    I realize that the cigar-chomping guy in the first panel of Gil Thorpe is probably a character, but I prefer to think that he’s actually the narration box, peering into the panels for the first time.

  62. Horace Broon
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    A3G: The fact that Nina’s dad arrives because he hasn’t been called threw me, but I forgot that the last he heard of the situation was “Nina’s wandered off without male supervision, and must therefore be lost or dead.”

    FW: It’s not clear from the art, but you just know Les is the only one singing, and everyone else is trying to ignore him.

    GT: At last, an end to a string of strips in which Steve can only be shown from angles that don’t show his arms, to keep the reveal here. So when will Shulock finally write the strip that reveals the A3G girls don’t have legs?

    H&L: “I don’t know what that means, but if Daddy’s going to break through the inky black void outside the window, creating a jagged hole to freedom, I’m excited!”

    JP: Sam turns round, “And that DEA jacket nailed to the wall, that must have a story as well?”

    MW: Having completely failed to show the lights failing, the only way to represent the emergency lights is with the brilliant whiteness of high intensity floodlights.

    Pluggers: Yeah. I mean, I’m speaking from a UK perspective here, but while a local paper might have a section with this sort of stuff, it’d be called Announcements rather than Society.

    RMMD: June seems stunned by this development. “I know everyone, myself included, said it would make a great movie. And I know when Rex gave her the money he said ‘You’ve got a screenplay to write’. But … she’s planning to make it into a movie? Who saw that coming?”

    S4th: “And speaking of free cookie samples; about the reception…”

  63. seismic-2
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    GT: “Hey, Coach T. What’s new?”
    “Lots! Why, before I landed this new coaching gig, I didn’t even know that Munchkin Golf was a thing!”

  64. Tom T.
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    9CL: Enough sex makes communication unnecessary in a relationship.

  65. Wally Winkerbean
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    I can’t wait until the summit panel where we find out that the ghost of Lisa had been promoted to Spirit of the Mountain and she smiles down on Summer and smugly triumphant Les.

    You know next year, Hemingway’s Snows of Kilinmajaro is going to be required reading along with Les’s personal journal to compare and contrast and for the students to pick the better writer.

  66. Northernlurker
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:06 am [Reply]

    MT: I have a friend who used to own and operate a lodge in northern British Columbia for trophy hunters–mostly looking for Big horns. I think most were bow hunters who would take horses to the high country and get close enough to kill an animal.
    Say what you will about hunting but it takes skill and some appreciation of the outdoors. And not one of them would stoop to buying a pre-mounted trophy. There’s not a lot of bragging rights in buying a mounted head from a poacher.

  67. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#60): I forgot about the gofer job. Geeze, he really doesn’t keep track of anything in his strips, does he. I guess we should be happy that he gets the names straight.

  68. the good ship thetis
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:11 am [Reply]

    @Tim O’Shenko (#35): I’ve never seen that in a current newspaper, but I believe it. In the town I live in I’ve looked up old issues of the paper from the 60s and they put notices like that right on the front page, interspersed with “a rattlesnake was killed in the vacant lot on Texas Street” and “police escorted a hitchhiker out of town.”

  69. pastordan
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#52): Why won’t they cater to meeeee? Whyyyyyy? I’m their best and most loyal customer…

    Oh, wait. I’m not, by a long shot.

  70. AndyL
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    When I read today’s Gil Thorp strip, I accidentally missed the “Not” in the first panel. I almost injured my brain trying to think of a way of looking at it that wasn’t horrible and/or filthy.

  71. pastordan
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Mental note: it is difficult to read the comments thread at The Comics Curmudgeon while simultaneously watching Robot Chicken.

  72. UncleJeff
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    Luann: My money is on poor Tiffany’s scene getting somehow mangled in the theater’s projection system….like when Meat Loaf invited his friends to watch the debut of his first video on MTV (“If you remember music videos on Music Television, then you ARE a Plugger!”). Something went wrong at the control room and Mr. Loaf’s voice was broadcast at least a third faster than it was recorded…completely humiliating him in front of his friends.

  73. Occipital Lobe
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:25 am [Reply]

    @casino LF (#45): “Glibporn”? That’s it for the Wikipedia changes? C’mon, we know you can do better than that …

  74. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:31 am [Reply]

    @pastordan (#69): I just get annoyed at bad programming. With the Star, the problem was that they’d changed the location of the comics to the Living section, but the “next page” links were still referring back to the previous section. They finally got it straightened out, but it was a pretty novice mistake.

    Bad design tends to make me unreasonably irritated, whether it’s in programming, layout, architecture (web sites or buildings), or pretty well anything else. I just finished a somewhat lengthy correspondence with Workopolis over their completely inept parsing algorithm and their inability to post anything other than chronological resumes.

    Bad design really makes me cranky. There’s no need for it, and it’s a sign of incompetence.

    But, yeah…uh. A little off topic there.

    So…what’s with Mark Trail and everything being “old,” huh?

  75. Elk Meadow
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:35 am [Reply]

    Doonesbury: *squick*

  76. Calico
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    @Chaze126 (#8):
    Yeah, kid, stop staring at something that’s not there.

  77. Calico
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Nekrotzar (#36):
    Respect her authori-tah! *whack*

  78. Fashion Police
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    We presume the ship has run aground because the internal gyros somehow sensed Mr. Weston’s suit, which appears to have been inspired by some third-tier designer’s free-form interpretation of pond scum.

    Later, the captain will be found negligible because he neglected to put the suit, with Mr. Weston in it, adrift in a lifeboat with no oars.

    Miss Weston, free at last, would finally have had some peace.

  79. pastordan
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    Alley Oop: Since when do cavemen and ancient Mayans speak English? Do Alley’s freakishly large calf muscles contain universal translators or something?

    Apt. 3G: I know it says Nina’s dad is “Fred,” but that’s Roger Sterling if I ever saw him.

    Barney Google: Boy, that Snuffy sure is clever, blaming his alcoholic bender on his buddy’s grandchildren! Wait, why is Snuffy Smith in my Barney Google feed?

    Dick Tracy: Oh. Oh, my.

    Judge Parker: We call this “foreshadowing.” Are there any English Professors about who can confirm that?

    Lockhorns: I was in a meeting with a nun yesterday who confessed to being a “compulsive tweaker.” Just this morning, I got up and tweaked, she said. Same joke, I suppose, but it is funnier when a nun tells it.

    Mark Trail: You know, Dick Cheney just shot a guy in the face. Seems simpler.

    Mary Worth: …Ssssooo was that an earthquake, or what?

  80. Calico
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:48 am [Reply]

    @Mark B. (#40):
    Atypical, definitely.

  81. Santa Royale With Cheese
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    JP: I can’t take credit for this one, but some wag at the Seattle PI site said, “if you like that, you should see the bighorn I just shot from my plane.”

    S-M: Before anything “happens” in this strip, I want to pause here and note that a large percentage of the audience wants C-9 to interrupt the play for their entertainment. Clown-9, pause, is more entertaining than, pause, MJ’s play. Let that sink in. As some comedian said of English cuisine, “how bad is your food when you need vinegar to improve it?”

  82. Lenoxus
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @geekwhisperer (#44): Thank you for explaining it! I was struggling to figure out why “Can you hear me in the back?” would be a test for a bug in a salad-type program/device. And I’m not even in tech school yet. So a search on this page for “bug” proved quite useful.

    ACHIEVEMENT: Understanding of 75% of comics punchlines.

  83. pastordan
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#74): We had a cool front blow through yesterday without bringing any much-needed rain with it. I found myself cursing the dry sky. Yes, I have become the old man who yells at clouds. It’s a living.

  84. odinthor
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G. — Fred walks into the room where his daughter, the new mother, and the new granddaughter he has never yet met are, and immediately focuses on Scott. You really like Scott a lot, don’t you, Fred?

    Ballard St. — Later Gordon told his wife, “Absorbency sops up a lot of my time.” But then he regretted it.

    BeBa. — Even his star is flaccid.

    Meaning of Lila. — Peace Camp: Where Smug Kids without Empathy Go To Revel in Themselves.

    Retail. — . . . Because punishment for lèse majesté isn’t just for absolute monarchies anymore!

  85. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#79):

    Mark Trail: You know, Dick Cheney just shot a guy in the face. Seems simpler.

    Got my vote for a weekly honour that dare not be named out of fear of jinxing it.

  86. bbofun
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    GT- Why is Saddam Hussein telling us where Gil is? Can he see us?

  87. Government Cheese
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    MW: What an illustrious contingent of passengers! It appears that Wilbur was dining with Otto von Bismark for the Great Bam occurred. Also, the panicky guy looks sort of like “Jaws” from the days of Roger Moore’s James Bond. Regardless, it appears that all the recent danger and excitement have a positive impact of Dawn’s boob size.

  88. mollificent
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#58): I was a body double for the lead in a children’s movie back in 2001, and while I mostly served to help set up the scene, I was also featured whenever they needed a shot of her without actually seeing her face. (However, since the main character was a minor, this was mainly done to keep her from needing to be on-set too much because of child labor laws.) It’s hilarious to watch the film and see my few seconds of screen time.

    Incidentally, I also got to do the main character’s singing, and play her hideous “evil twin” who is unmasked at the end. Sigh. My first ten seconds of screen time and I’m traumatizing small children…go figure.

  89. Amateur
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    MW (panel 1): We praise and worship thee, O holy Emergency Lights!

  90. flatsixes
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    MT: All this talk about “trophy hunters” reminds me of my first wife. Why does Jack Elrod hate me?

  91. Sequitur
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#79): queries…

    Wait, why is Snuffy Smith in my Barney Google feed?

    That’s a question best answered by Nehemiah Scudder.

  92. mollificent
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#88): P.S. It occurs to me that since Tiffany herself is a minor, hiring her to be a body double would be a pretty lame waste of money, since she herself would be prohibited from spending too much time on the set. But hell, it’s only money, right, Elwood?

  93. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    @bbofun (#86): He’s trying to distract us from finding his spider hole.

  94. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#88): “Traumatizing small children is good.”

  95. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#88): Did you get to meet Harvey Korman? That would be very cool.

    My friend’s brother was body double for Nicholas Cage for years and years. All he did was sit in a chair or stand somewhere until everything was set. Never appeared in a single scene. But that was enough for him to buy several houses, launch a high-end restaurant in Toronto (Panagea), and in general lead a very comfortable life. The odd thing is that he doesn’t look like Cage in the least. He’s Greek, and looks Middle Eastern. Things haven’t been going so well lately, though, since Cage fired a batch of his staff a few years back, including my friend’s brother.

    He did get to appear in a movie in his own right, at one point though. I can’t remember the name of it, but I think he played the second terrorist on the left.

  96. seismic-2
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Shouldn’t “Justin Crawfish” be a character in Pluggers, rather than a contributor to it?

  97. Hank
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Rinaldo (#19): Doonesbury: So Jeff is lusting after Alex? And he’s her uncle? Trudeau’s ghostwriters must have forgotten that (or never been told in the new employee orientation process).

  98. Shrug
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @UncleJeff (#72):

    I also recall reading (in, I think, Bill Warren’s KEEP WATCHING THE SKIES) a comparable story about Jeff Morrow, who starred in the giantic-bird-monster movie THE GIANT CLAW. He had a large contingent of friends and family join him at the theater for opening night, and all went well for a few minutes until the risible monster (played by a giant puppet looking like Beaky Buzzard with a hangover) first appeared on screen and the whole audience exploded with laughter, leaving the actor looking a prat by association.

    The movie was supposedly suppressed for many years, with even shots of the monster not circulating anyway, so fans of kitsch had to make do with descriptions. Fortunately the movie was later re-released, or re-escaped, so Big Bird can now be viewed in all his improbable glory.

    On a totally different note, yesterthread’s lineup of famous superhero rabbit characters overlooked Hoppy the Marvel Bunny.

  99. Baka Gaijin
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    @stopdropreload (#43): How DARE you say something positive about that evil bitch. HOW.DARE.YOU. [*]

    @TheDiva (#46): To be fair, at least 600 passengers on the Costa Concordia had not gotten the muster. The cruise line didn’t give the evacuation drills after each departure.How DARE you say something positive about that evil bitch.

    @Horace Broon (#62): Great missing fourth panel on Sally Forth. Cookie samples are comic gold!

    @mollificent (#88): Be glad it was only 10 seconds. Bozo the You-Know-What had been tramautizing children for half a century before cable TV finally did him in.

  100. terrapin
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    GT: “Ladies and gentlemen…Kenny Rogers in ‘The One Armed Bandit’!”

  101. Shrug
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

    @Hank (#97):

    To be (slightly) fair, Jeff is Alex’s half-uncle (if there is such a word). J.J. (Alex’s mother) and Jeff have the same mother, but different fathers (Clint Caucus and Rick Redfern, respectively).

    On the other hand, I also have a half-sister — same situation — with adult daughters, and the instinctive incest taboo is alive and well, so from my experience this cuts him no slack.

    Maybe Jeff’s fantasy life has advanced to the point where he believes he’s a fairy changeling and no real kin to mere humans at all.

  102. Calico
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    The Unsinkable Dawn Weston.

  103. pastordan
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#83): Shhh! No jinxes!!

  104. pastordan
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    Uhh, that last one would be in response to Frank Lee Meidere, of course.

  105. Snarkotix Addict
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    MT “Good shot… we’ll pack in and get the head!”
    “A trophy hunter will pay a fortune for that old boy!”
    While you’re at it, you may as well get the other boy’s head, too. Ripley’s Believe-It-or-Not would pay a fortune for that!

    C-shaft Nope. Not funny. Not even close.

    A3G “Come and meet your granddaughter.”
    An introduction. Pay close attention – we’ll never hear the baby’s name again.

    FC Auhhgh! Is that an earthquake?

    FW In case you weren’t enjoying this enough already, now you can sing along!

  106. Perky Bird
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp: If hideously misshapen arm is the one they left, I’d hate to see the one they amputated!

  107. Hank
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug (#101): To be (slightly) fair, Jeff is Alex’s half-uncle . It’s still full on incest.

  108. Dennis Jimenez
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#102): AKA “Bubble-Butt”

  109. Dennis Jimenez
    July 18th, 2012 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#96): A Plugger wants them Just-in Crawfish in his gumbo – never the canned or frozen varieties…

  110. Sequitur
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    @Dennis Jimenez (#108): Wait. Bubble Butt is no good. That means she would float face down!

    Oh, I get it.

  111. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    MW-Run faster. I think that sports coat is still behind us.

    Slylock Fox-Oh Slylock, you sick demented bastard you. Deliberately keeping the rope short enough in the hopes of watching the guy get eaten by the shark.

    JP-If you think that deer is impressive you need to see the bighorn I just shot from my plane.

    A3G-Shouldn’t they be going to the hospital to make sure everything is fine. I wouldn’t trust Tommie’s diagnosis.

    Spiderman-Right afterwards a Croc shows up and breaks both of their legs.

    Gil Thorp-It’s a Cinderella story.

  112. Flat 4H
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    What was that, a birthquake?

  113. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Can the one armed man get a hole in one?

  114. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

    @Marc (#26): A3G: Well, Nina ate the placenta raw and it perked her right up.

  115. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    @Rinaldo (#19):

    I am thinking Trudeau is hoping that people don’t remember that Jeff is Alex’s uncle.

  116. Anonymous
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:26 pm [Reply]

    MT: I still think that the ship hit an iceberg.

  117. Colonel Les Python Moore Python
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

    Luann: My brother was in the convention mob scene in “Born on the Fourth of July”, almost close enough to touch Tom Cruise. Yes, you’d need someone with a laser pointer to pick him out, mostly because all those clean-cut Junior Republicans looked alike, but all his friends and family turned out to watch because being in a big movie is cool.

  118. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    @Santa Royale With Cheese (#81):

    That was me who posted the Judge Parker comment.

  119. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#79): Alley Oop: Since when do cavemen and ancient Mayans speak English? Do Alley’s freakishly large calf muscles contain universal translators or something?

    Dr. Wonmug’s time machine is probably like Doctor Who’s TARDIS. It allows anyone in its vicinity to communicate in English regardless of whichever language is being spoken. (Although it doesn’t seem to bother people that so many space aliens on Doctor Who speak with British accents!)

  120. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    MT: “A trophy hunter will pay a fortune for this.”

    All this sentence needs is some translation.

    Trophy hunter: n. Steakhouse with a cheesy western/hunting decor theme.

    Will: v. Will not (when used for standard definition of “pay”); However, used as conventional “will” with contextually translated definition of “pay” as shown below.

    Pay: v. “Turn us in for poaching”

    Fortune: n. Less than what it cost to maintain and fuel the plane for this flight alone. Not taking into account on-going hangar rental space, licensing, insurance, routine maintenance, etc.

    This: n. Dead animal head. Gnawed by scavengers in the time it took us to “pack in” and get it. After mounting, frequently found at flea markets and garage sales. Natural habitat: steakhouses with cheesy western/hunting decor themes.

  121. Rocky Stoneaxe
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#88): Did you get to work with Harvey Korman? Or was all of his work done in a recording studio?

  122. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: A Plugger’s social life doesn’t involve socializing. Or life.

    MT: The pilot is hotdogging it in the air while his buddy in the shotgun seat cradles an actual shotgun in his lap. Properly speaking, their own negligence should bring them down way before Mark does.

    Ziggy: Ziggy does things with his pet parrot. Things he can’t discuss with anyone else.

    FW: I guess the theory is that if they keep everybody singing, Les won’t have time to talk. So far so good.

    9CL: It could be that Diane is on top, but it looks more like the two of them are going at it butt to butt. Thanks, Brooke.

    Popeye: Yeah Popeye, I kind of want to hurt someone too.

    BSt: Ah, acid dealers.

    JP: Bubba has bagged three matching deer heads: Boy George, Simon Lebon, and Limahl (the guy from Kajagoogoo you know Too Shy is any of this ringing a bell.)

    RMMD: Whether or not she can write a good script, Iris seems to have the whole cronyism/logrolling side down pat.

    Drabble: This Bud’s for you, Archimedes.

    HtH: Rose, Unsinkable Molly Brown, et al. The Titanic had thousands of women on it. Icebergs or no icebergs, that boat must have been doomed.

    H&L: Disco dancin’ golf dad!

    DT: Something tickles me about the “Lt Teevo’s tie” label. He may have been disloyal, but he was also nutritious.

    DtM: “Direct sunlight is hell on a hangover. I learned that one from mom.”

    SFx: Sly and Max were on the trail of a wanted fugitive. Now that they’ve gotten a better look at the guy on the island, they realize he’s not they’re man. With a “sorry to bother you sir” they turn the chopper around and go home.

    A3G: Bill Murray enters the room and says, “Hey, this isn’t a Wes Anderson movie. I’m out of here.”

  123. casino LF
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Occipital Lobe (#73): That one I didn’t do!

  124. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    @Rinaldo (#19): First, obligatory “Eww.” That said, I read back a few days. Haven’t followed Doonesbury in many, many years. Does anyone else find Alex’s husband’s stuttering a little awkwardly “Very special episode?” Stutterers are wonderful people with many fine qualities! But we will point out his stuttering over those fine qualities in every panel in which he has dialog!

  125. tallyHO
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    @S.Stout (#15):
    @nescio (#6):

    An Osprey? A Purple Martin?

    Now, see, all this time I thought he was a shoe. Boy was I ever wrong.

    In that magical world of tree tops, I just guessed birds made the rules and reclassified themselves as footwear (yeah, I know, right.). Just because they could.

    Somewhere in their world there are birds that make clothes, like Hawaiin shirts and meta-fictionally enough, shoes; they roll cigars; manufacture typewriters and little scraps of paper; make gadgets; teach schools; and, someone unseen outside of this particular flock takes out newspaper ads. So, classifying the critter people further never crossed my mind.

    I mean, think about it, the only equivalent thing these birds…er…I mean shoes… do not have are bras. After all, birds…I mean Shoes don’t need to wear bras for their breasts. Unless they might want to consider doing so.

  126. tallyHO
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:46 pm [Reply]


    This is the first time in my life I have noticed that Plugger Chicken Lady looks as if she escaped from Shoeville and is living in sin with a dog.

    Oh, Internet, why must you embarrass me so?

  127. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

    MT: I like to imagine the kind of person who buys mounted game heads and pretends they’re his own.

    “I stalked that baby across the tundra for weeks. He doubled back on me and nearly did me in, but I flipped the safety on my Ruger Blackhawk .45-70 and put one right into his brain just before he reached me! Dropped him in his tracks.

    “Uh, that’s a Rocky Mountain Bighorn, it doesn’t live on tundra, it doesn’t attack people, and Ruger Blackhawks don’t have safeties or come in .45-70 caliber.”

    “Did I say tundra? I meant mountainside, and I think it was rabid. And it was a custom model Blackhawk. One of a kind, handmade for me by Bill Ruger!”

    “Wow, can I see it?”

    “Sadly, I lost it in a pool game against Minnesota Fats. I would have won it back in the rematch, but it had already been stolen from him by Ninjas!”

  128. Sequitur
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#127): Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  129. Santa Royale With Cheese
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#118): Nicely played.

  130. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Someone smack Brooke on the side of the head. He’s lost track of the plot again and drifted off into another masturbation fantasy. This might go on for weeks. Although, if we then cut away and find Amos’ dessicated corpse still sitting on that bench waiting for whatshername to finish her sentence, it will all be good.

    Luann – Greg, you can write anything for your characters – this is a work of fiction. Why do you never even put in the effort required to show us the characters the way you want us to see them? Brad IS a lazy goof-off, hanging out with his friends and not getting any work done. Tiffany flew out to Hollywood on her own initiative, and ended up with a part in a major motion picture, but our reaction is supposed to be ‘yes, but it was a small part! Not like Luann’s big dreams of Julliard!’

    Also – is this like Judge Parker and it is still the day after Quill had to leave Luann’s bedroom, pack, and board a plane for home?

  131. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#126): For pluggers, the phrase “Eat me” is freighted with additional disturbing connotations.

  132. [Old Man] Muffaroo
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    The Darkgate’s gone scroo-coo, so I went with a more labor-intensive method of checking the strips today. Oddly enough, it leaves me almost entirely without anything to say, and no time or strength to read comments, so here are three damp squibs to ignore, possibly duplicates (in which case the original was maybe funny).

    Arlo – Another good pet broken in the same week (first Quincy shows a rich, verbal inner life, and now the cat is seen sitting in a chair in front of a fridge with open beverage cans).

    9 – You beefwits and your dirty minds! Sheesh!

    love is… – Oops! I swear, that never happened before!

  133. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:12 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#88): OMG, that film featured the legendary Harvey Friggin Korman! In fact, it appears to be his last screen role ever! A rather ignoble ending for the comedy giant, but it still earns the film a place in cinema history in my book!

  134. Six
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Oh god. I work for a small newspaper, and I actually do that section every week, what with the anniversaries and the Eagle Scouts and the rotary clubs. Nailed it.

  135. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

    @seismic-2 (#47):

    In 9CL, he would be a eunuch.

    Such a character would be a refreshing change in context, anyway.

  136. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#130): The thought of being a fly on the wall in Brooke’s studio kind of makes me queasy.

  137. Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#127): Plus, I imagine a .45-70 point blank would leave (1) bighorn brains all over the landscape, and (2) a head unusable for a trophy.

  138. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:18 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#56): If it ends with everyone flailing around in a big vat of shit, that will be about right.

  139. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#79): Lockhorns: What did the nun mean by that? Because I’m still trying to get the image of a meth-head nun to go away.

  140. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    @Al of the Christian Singles Jungle Patrol (#137): Heh. A little spackle, a little GLH Spray-On Hair and you’re good to go!

  141. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    @Six (#134): Are you hiring editors or writers? I’m looking. I’m looking hard.

  142. commodorejohn
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    Agnes – God, I love this strip.

    A3G – Okay, seriously, that kid is like, two years old. Certainly no younger than a year.

    DT – Wait, is that Liz? She’s looking awfully good for having been stabbed in the shoulder. Or is this meant to be later? If so, why is Weird Plant Lady still here, and still unsecured such that she has to be held at gunpoint? Huh?

    FW – Hey Tom, next time you think of including lyrics, don’t.

    GT – What, is Tessa going to learn to pole-vault?

    HOTC – Who the hell assigns summer reading? Is this another horribly depressing modern parenting trend stripping away the last vestiges of childhood freedom in an attempt to give kids the edge they need to compete in today’s cut-throat middle-school entrance exams or something?

    JP – What, did you think they’d order a fake deer? Oh, you probably did. Bet you actually have fake trophies at home, don’t you, Avery? Thought they’d add a touch of class?

    Luann – Hey, non-ironic Luann fans! Looks like we’re up for another hi-larious cruel humiliation of Tiffany for absolutely no reason whatsoever! I hope you’ve brought a change of underwear for after you rub one out indulging your shame fetish at the expense of the character who’s meant to symbolize the people who didn’t like you in high school! I know Greg has!

    Mandrake – I tried to fathom the logic behind this, but my brain crashed and I had to reset it.

    MW – Luckily, Wilbur can count on his hideous jacket to frighten the water away and carry him safely to the Mediterranean sea-bed in a bubble, his sandwiches safe and dry.

    PMP – Why do half the women in this strip have arms like the starving third-world urchins in charity ads?

    PBS – And them’s the facts, folks.

    Popeye – What.

    RMMD – “You wouldn’t believe how lucrative the seniors’ autobiography romance porn market is! It sounds niche, but it’s got a lot broader appeal than that!”

    SM – It’s time for Three-Card Spidey!

  143. Perky Bird
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    @Colonel Les Python Moore Python (#117): My husband was a US Park Ranger stationed on the National Mall when “In the Line of Fire” was filmed. He was on duty at the Lincoln Memorial when they shot a scene there. However, they didn’t want or need a ranger in the scene, so he had to hide behind a pillar to stay out of the view. Whenever that comes on TV, he always says, “Look, there I am, behind that pillar!”

  144. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#142): A3G: Bolle just forgot the “One year later…” caption.

  145. Cloudbuster
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    ASM: “Tonight I’ll leave this town in stitches!”

    I cannot get the image out of my mind of Clown 9 with a comically over-sized needle, thread and scissors, cackling maniacally as he runs around madly stitching things together.

    You know, that would actually be funnier than what the writer has planned.

  146. Dale
    July 18th, 2012 at 2:46 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#127):

    All that confusion was just a typo. It was a Super Duper Trapdoor Long John.
    They come in .45-70 and … other places.

  147. Notebooked
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    Dangit, at first I thought that panel of Gil Thorp read “Gil’s over there, trying not to get whacked by 8-year-olds”. I thought Gil had upset some Bugsy Malone-the-musical-style bunch of child gangsters, a set-up which could lend itself to some wackiness. Or should I say “whackiness”! Hah hah…hah. Hah.

  148. Artist formerly known as Ben
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#62):

    JP: Sam turns round, “And that DEA jacket nailed to the wall, that must have a story as well?”

    Sounds more like something Avery will say. It’s not that Sam is smarter, just luckier.

  149. mollificent
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    Sadly, I didn’t get to meet Harvey Korman…it was filmed in Ashland, and he did all his voice work down in LA. But, cheesy though it was, I had a blast…got to hang out with a bunch of OSF actors. And a few of the princesses went on to bigger things–Sara Paxton in particular, as well as the lead Michelle Horn. I saw her in an ep of Without a Trace a few years back. Also, Cork Hubbert (rest his soul) was a KICK.

  150. TheDiva
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    @Baka Gaijin (#99): Fair point, but I seem to recall that the Concordia incident prompted a change in policy and now muster drills are supposed to be given before the ship leaves port. Whether or not that’s true across all lines or if it applies in today’s Mary Worth, I have no idea.

    @Colonel Les Python Moore Python (#117): My uncle, a (now retired) police officer in Phoenix, was an extra in the lesser-known Clint Eastwood movie The Gauntlet–apparently he’s somewhere in the scene where Eastwood drives a bus through a double line of cops opening fire on him and the heroine. Needless to say, the reaction in the family has always been more “Wow, you got to be in a Clint Eastwood movie? Cool!” rather than “ha-ha, we can barely see you on screen.”

  151. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:12 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan (#83): See? That’s simply bad planning on the part of the weather. Frustrating, isn’t it?

  152. Baka Gaijin
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#124): Alex’s hubby, known as “Toggle,” is a war casualty. His HMMV ran over an IED in the Middle East and caused a brain injury that causes the stutter.

    @TheDiva (#150): This is happening in Italy. Nothing occurs fast there except the driving and the speed of money leaving your pocket.

  153. Frank Lee Meidere
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#142):

    Mandrake – I tried to fathom the logic behind this, but my brain crashed and I had to reset it.

    Uh…yeah. I’ve just started following Mandrake, after reading so many comments about it here. I was luck that a new story arc had started, so I figured I wouldn’t be confused by what’s going on. Sadly, I’m already confused by what’s going on.

    First, Mandrake is a vigilante. So is Batman, Superman and Spider-Man (okay, not so much Spider-Man, but you get my point). But that’s fine, because in the comic-verse, vigilantes are generally good guys and the cops don’t try to shut them down.

    Second, what’s the big deal about Lothar being the muscle and Mandrake being the magic? It’s like saying to the cops, “Yeah, this guy’s a patrolman, and that guy is a forensic scientist. How about you change roles and see how well you do?” I mean — huh?

    Third, why would they even listen to him? If he’s not doing anything illegal, then ignore him. If he is, then gesture hypnotically and put him in jail, or something. (The “gesture hypnotically” is a phrase I remember from reading Mandrake as a child.)

    Fourth, are all Mandrake plots so idiotic? Have they always been? They seemed cool when I was a kid, but I was a kid, so what did I know?

  154. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

    JP-I read today’s comic and all I can think of is that scene in “Arthur” when Arthur is talking to his future father-in-law and there is a giant moose head in the room.

    JP 2-I was very lucky with that deer. You see it ran into the wall and couldn’t get out so I shot it right here.

    JP 3-If you like the head come into the next room and see the rest of the deer.

    JP 4-If you like the deer head you need to see the heads of people that I caught trespassing.

  155. Jim in Wisc.
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    @Wally Winkerbean (#65): And any kid foolish enough to pick Hemingway as the better of the two will not only be given an F, but will be expelled from school.

  156. Sequitur
    July 18th, 2012 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#142):

    Popeye – What.

    Make a macro of that and include it every day. You might want to add “????” after it.

  157. KreatureFeatures
    July 18th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    @mollificent (#149): The Ruby Princess Runs Away looks like a sweet movie. I’m enjoying learning about the role that one of our faithful snarkers played in it. But I have a bone to pick with the IMDB website you linked us to. IMDB wants to recommend similar movies to me, so it says, “People who liked this also liked … The Party Never Stops: Diary of a Binge Drinker.”

  158. seismic-2
    July 18th, 2012 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    JP: Actually, we have no reason to believe that Bubba shot that deer. If it did in fact wander onto his “farm” and started grazing on the crops, it probably got so stoned that it then tumbled down the same cliff that Avery fell off, and it impaled itself on its own antlers.

  159. bats :[
    July 18th, 2012 at 4:14 pm [Reply]

    Just because I can’t get half of today’s strips to load…

  160. Baka Gaijin
    July 18th, 2012 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    And now there’s a metapost. Create your own captions! In the privacy of your own home!

  161. Dennis Jimenez
    July 18th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    @Sequitur (#110): Dead? Yes, but by jove, she still wouldn’t sink! And in my fantasy, they mount a bell on her butt and, there she remains to this day as a navigation bouy….

  162. Der Schnärkïnätör
    July 18th, 2012 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    @Snarkotix Addict (#105):

    While you’re at it, you may as well get the other boy’s head, too. Ripley’s Believe-It-or-Not would pay a fortune for that!

    Could be dangerous! He looks worse than Medusa!

  163. Der Schnärkïnätör
    July 18th, 2012 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

    Juggs Parker – This is starting to make about as much sense as a Mark Trail plot!

    They are even with ending all comments with either an exclamation point or a question mark, just like MT!

  164. Six
    July 18th, 2012 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

    @Frank Lee Meidere (#141):
    I wish. We just got bought out; some of us are quaking in our boots.

  165. Sgt. Stoned
    July 18th, 2012 at 5:47 pm [Reply]

    Shoe: The waitress is not being sarcastic. The Perfesser is one of them liberal pinko communist perfessers and the FBI really is bugging his food.

    MW: Emergency lights but no announcements and not an officer in sight. The crew has apparently already abandoned ship.

    MT: Hey guys, there is a witness to your crime. Are you sure you don’t want to circle back and finish off the ugly red-haired kid lurking in the rocks?

    GT: What’s up with you, Steve? Oh, besides killing Richard Kimble’s wife–nothing.

  166. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    Popeye-Did Popeye just confess to murdering Sweet Pea?

    A3G-Scott, I couldn’t find Nina but I did find a hot young blonde with big breasts who could replace her. Oh shit! I mean thank god you found Nina, Scott.

    Beetle Bailey-Did the General participate in some war games that morning?

    Beetle Bailey-I’m sorry sir but the General is having flashbacks from the Great War.

    FC-I just need some baggy clothes to cover up PJ’s injuries.

    MW-The lifeboats are located outside.

  167. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Well I beat up a tattoo artist and burned his place to the ground.

  168. commodorejohn
    July 18th, 2012 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    @Sgt. Stoned (#165): Emergency lights but no announcements and not an officer in sight. The crew has apparently already abandoned ship.
    They’re on a cruise with Wilbur and Dawn. They probably bailed as soon as they got them safely bogged down with sandwiches.

  169. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Gil Thorp-Can you tell that I totally lost my arm in combat instead of having my arm drawn normal and later cropped out?

  170. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers-And look at whose son just came out of the closet.

  171. commodorejohn
    July 18th, 2012 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#169): Well, you know, they left the stump on the shoulder so it would fill out his sleeve better. Awfully considerate of them, no?

  172. demoncat
    July 18th, 2012 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    gt. from gils smile at seeing steve has lost an arm gil is proably now thinking great a way to finaly win something. mw. wilbur did tell dawn she would not forget this adventure he never mentioned that they could wind up recreating the titanic

  173. Snarkotix Addict
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    @Der Schnärkïnätör (#162): Could be dangerous! He looks worse than Medusa!
    Freeze frame!

  174. pastordan
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#139): She was tweaking a presentation. But she knew exactly what I meant, even before I said it!

  175. nescio
    July 18th, 2012 at 9:46 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#125): Shoe is short for P. Martin Shoemaker, although I cannot recall if the name has been mentioned any time recently (after 1980). The Perfessor’s name is Cosmo P. Fishhawk. I’m not sure about the others, although I think Loon might actually be a loon.

    If they ever end the strip they should have the Perfessor flip out and eat all the other characters.

  176. Rinaldo
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#124): I hate to give Trudeau any credit after he seemingly spaced out on Jeff and Alex being so closely related. But (I venture to say this as you say you haven’t kept up with Doonesbury for years) Leo’s war injuries, involving his speech difficulties and occasional flashbacks, have been a consistent part (though only part) of his character since he was introduced in 2008, and aren’t just trotted out for Special Episodes.

  177. Liam
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:39 pm [Reply]

    MW-I don’t care where the lifeboats are I just want to get as far away from that jacket as I can.

  178. Farley's Revenge
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#124): Re: Leo’s stuttering. Leo was injured during a tour in the Big Sandbox. Not only did he lose his eye, he suffers from aphasia, which is an impairment of language ability. In short, he knows what he wants to say but sometimes he just can’t get the words out. Sometimes Trudeau demonstrates a way around it by having Leo say something else that’s similar to what he wanted to say.

    I have a touch of aphasia. Sometimes I can see the word I want to say in my head but damned if I can get that word out of my mouth. It’s like my mouth has forgotten how to form that word. I either whip through my mental thesaurus to find a comparable word or stand there with my mouth open, making noises as I try to force the word out of my uncooperative mouth. The entertaining part is when everything unfreezes and suddenly the word comes popping out of my mouth, unbidden, which could be hours or days later. Ah, good times.

  179. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 18th, 2012 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

    @Cloudbuster (#124): He doesn’t actually stutter; he has aphasia as a result of brain damage he received while on active duty. So it, like his eye patch, is intended to be both a badge of honor and an important part of his story.

  180. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:02 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#142): @Frank Lee Meidere (#153): I too am befuddled by this plot development (such as it is) in Mandrake. So, there’s this guy, and he hates Mandrake, and his devious, fiendish plot is to dare Mandrake and his partner to act like each other? What, precisely, is that supposed to accomplish? Oh, look, strong man can’t do magical hypnotism. Oh, look, magician can’t lift heavy things.

    Well, duh. That’s why the magician is the magician and the strong man is the strong man. It’s not like that’s such a big ol’ shocker that it will ruin either person forever. If anything, it confirms that their enemy is an idiot and that they are well-suited to the jobs they’re currently doing.

  181. tallyHO
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @nescio (#175):
    Thanks for the knowledge.

    Maybe your ending could be best shown with the professor sitting down, belly plumper than usual, picking his teeth with the bones of Shoe.*

    gagline: after the second panel in which he surveys the mayhem he caused, scattered feathers and bones and beaks about him,

    “Huh. I guess that’s all folks!”



    ** i know, i know. it’s gruesome. but, it’ll grow on ya.

  182. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:03 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#179): Or what @Farley’s Revenge (#178) just said.

    Man. My duplicate-comment-itis is flaring today.

  183. tallyHO
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#180):

    based on a (quick) misinterpretation of your first sentence, you couldn’t write a first sentence like that about Marmaduke.

  184. Alison
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:18 pm [Reply]

    “Marvin”: “Only crazy young people like evil technology!” is probably the most over-done “joke” on the comics page. I don’t really know how it got started. Personally, my grandmother loves “Fuck My Life” and all those sites about LOL Cats with toilet paper rolls on their heads and stuff.

    I think the whole thing is really a case of “cranky, bitter cartoonists hate technology because it’s made newspapers less popular, and therefore hurts the income of those who publish their cartoons in said newspapers”.

  185. Alison
    July 18th, 2012 at 11:19 pm [Reply]

    @Alison (#184):
    And that goes for “Pluggers” too.

    But I hate “Marvin” more because poop jokes just gross me out so much.

  186. Dr. Dread
    July 22nd, 2012 at 11:37 am [Reply]

    Uh oh, it looks like COINTELPRO has caught up with the perfesser and his dissident ways.

  187. Esser-Z
    July 29th, 2012 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    My local newspaper actually publishes a section on Tuesdays that’s basically entirely the kind of stuff those Pluggers are reading.

    It’s a shitty newspaper.

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