The Comics Curmudgeon

Main content:

Burn, Brad-y, Burn

Luann, 1/30/08

Advancing character development in a comic strip is actually a fairly tricky thing to do, and so I give props to Luann for getting Brad out of the house and the fast food industry and into the Fire Department a few years ago. And real-life firefighters face seriously traumatic situations, which, combined with a no-doubt prevailing tough-guy ethic, means that seminars like “Your Mental Health” are important. But could we please see Brad and/or Tony attending fewer seminars and elementary school safety presentations and instead, you know, putting out fires now and then? Chopping through doors with axes, pulling screaming children from burning rooms, leaping out of second-story windows as the smoke billows — and then, when they get back to the firehouse with adrenaline still singing through their veins, letting nature take its course? Even Herb and Jamaal has featured firefighting scenes this month, for Pete’s sake. It would sure be a hell of a lot more interesting than this “saving Toni a seat at the mental health seminar” crap.

Funky Winkerbean, 1/30/08

Hey, let’s check in with our friends in the whimsical Winkerworld! Now-near-deaf former band leader Harry Dinkle and his wife have decided to check out the bright lights of Las Vegas and see what all the fuss is about! But Harry doesn’t gamble, and for some reason he can’t really enjoy himself as he wanders the casino floor, seeing the dead-eyed elderly pouring the last of their savings into bleeping electronic devices designed by teams of experts to fleece them. Then Harry makes a pun! And his wife smirks, or she may just be suffering a stroke.

Gasoline Alley, 1/30/08

Speaking of whimsy, in Gasoline Alley our postal protagonist imagines that if he were murdered by his wife in an argument over money, that would be for the best. This sort of logic is why so many post offices have bullet-proof glass in front of the counters.

Mary Worth, 1/30/08

Ha ha, I like Drew’s pissy little face in panel one, but I love his “Groan!” thought balloon in panel two. It of course puts him in fine company with tweaker Tommie, one of the greatest Mary Worth characters in recent memory. Let’s hope we’re witnessing stage one of his slide into drug addiction!

As for our ad agent lovebirds, is there any dumber romantic scenario than a whirlwind public romance with your boss, particularly if your boss is a possessive weirdo who “accidentally” shows up two hours early for your date? No, nothing good can come of this for anybody involved except for Mary, who is almost certainly at home lining up the platitudes she’s going to unleash once this whole thing goes south.

They’ll Do It Every Time, 1/30/08

Al Scaduto held back his most politically charged work, asking that it only be published after his death.

Also: Thanks to a faithful inside tipster for this story detailing the shocking truth about Gil Thorp’s Andrew Gregory!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 30, 2008 at 05:08 pm and is filed under Funky Winkerbean, Gasoline Alley, Luann, Mary Worth, They'll Do It Every Time.

276 responses to “Burn, Brad-y, Burn”

Kevin
January 30th, 2008 at 5:13 pm [Reply]

Why is Kathy Bates suddenly appearing in Funky Winkerbean? I guess it really is hard for aging actresses to get work.
Uncle Lumpy
January 30th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

Hahahaha!

Next up in Milford — Marty Moon buys drugs from sinister newcomer Josh Fruhlinger!
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 30th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

So, do you folks think it’s “AFF-ect advertising”, or “uh-FECT advertising”?
Steve S
January 30th, 2008 at 5:18 pm [Reply]

I don’t think most of the Funky Winkerbean characters are even smirking anymore. It’s just rigor mortis setting in.
Marcelo
January 30th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

That TDIET was a Jerry Seinfeld bit in like the 90’s.
Geezil
January 30th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Harriet looks less like Kathy Bates than Dick Cheney in drag to me.
Alkibiades
January 30th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

“As for WHY the Milford Andrew is that way,” Rubin wrote, “keep reading.”

Poor Curly-Horse! I seriously doubt any of the gays are interested.

(ok, ok, emphasis mine)
Uncle Lumpy
January 30th, 2008 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

#3 SQB –

It’s “E-ffect” Advertising, misspelled. They don’t get a lot of work, which explains the long lunches.
Reynard Noir
January 30th, 2008 at 5:22 pm [Reply]

Wait, doesn’t that make Vera’s new boyfriend the guy who was trying to grab her butt back when she was first introduced?

I guess that’s what Dr. Drew did wrong, then. Lack of attempted groping doomed their relationship before it could even begin.

And yes, I remembered an incidental character from Mary Worth months ago. Shut up. It’s a verbatim complex, I can’t help it!
mav
January 30th, 2008 at 5:23 pm [Reply]

Depending on where said real-life firefighters are employed, actually fighting fires may be a rare part of the job. Incorporated burbs and bedroom communities don’t have too many fires. That said, if we’re not gonna see any action between Toni and Brad, it would be nice to see some action somewhere.
boxjam
January 30th, 2008 at 5:26 pm [Reply]

I know you don’t usually comment on “Love Is…” but apparently Batiuk did a guest turn in today’s strip.
Old Goat
January 30th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

6. Everyone in FW Land looks like Dick Cheney eventually.
Girl Reporter
January 30th, 2008 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

Rubin, who is also a features columnist for the Detroit News, said by e-mail that he has to come up with new characters every year, and he names some of them after fans.

“Sometimes I make them up, sometimes I use a character’s name to tip a hat to a friend, and often — Anne Mayer and Maureen Monte in the basketball storyline are current examples — I’ll name them for high bidders at charity auctions,” Rubin wrote.

Ahem. I believe I called the charity auction idea a couple months ago, and was soundly booed.
fahrenheit451
January 30th, 2008 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

MW-What’s the deal with the levitating donuts in panel one?

I can’t help but think Drew’s passing a kidney stone here…
Dr. Pants
January 30th, 2008 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

I love how Dr. Drew’s romantic rival says that he and Vera “can’t get enough of each other,” even while interrupting a date with her ex and just after she expressed great surprise that he was there.

Oddly, he’s only the second most stalker-ish guy in the whatever kind of shop they’re in. Check out the guy in the t-shirt and sports jacket behind Drew in panel two. Forget this retarded love triangle, I want to know more about THAT guy.
Will
January 30th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Does it bother anyone else that Toni’s lips are approximately the size of one of her breasts?
Girl Reporter
January 30th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

How does Vera even have a boss? I thought she said she was lonely at the top? So does that put her boss at the tippy-top?
Mac
January 30th, 2008 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

That pun in FW was so mild that I didn’t even realize it was a joke until Josh pointed it out. My standards for this strip are now so lowered that I didn’t even realize that without it there is no joke at all.

I also prefer to think of Harry Dinkle in his glory days, permanently in his band uniform and pushing candy. Stupid Batiuk.
Gold-Digging, Jungle-Patrolling Nanny
January 30th, 2008 at 5:43 pm [Reply]

TDIET: Wow. Just wow.
Josh
January 30th, 2008 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

#3 Skullturf — I’m firmly behind AF-fect, as should be obvious from my repeated jokes calling it the “Creepy Lack Of Affect Advertising Agency,” which nobody ever reacts to but I find endlessly hilarious anyway. I DON’T NEED YOU PEOPLE I AMUSE MYSELF

Josh
Hank
January 30th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

RE: Gil Thorp. Uh-oh. If the writer is now naming characters in the strip after snarking fans I think I know where all the contributors to TDIET are going to migrate.
Nil Zed
January 30th, 2008 at 5:49 pm [Reply]

so is gasoline alley trying to become a proper soap strip? what’s with all the realistic-ish art and could be happening in the real world (well, -ish) plots? I’ve only come across it now and then through the years, and was under the impression it was a slightly more up to date and politically correct country-folks cartoon. Like if Snuffy Smith were taking place in current day Appalacia. Or are they Ozarkian?
Jungle Mountain Mama
January 30th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

Josh: Consider me a silent but proud admirer of “Creepy Lack of Affect Advertising Agency.”
Gold-Digging Nanny
January 30th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

3, 20 SQB & Josh

I’m with Josh on this one. If only for the assonance.

Assonance. *snort, giggle*
gh
January 30th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

#20 Josh –

Did you miss my yesterthread “Zero Affect” homage to your “Lack of Affect?” Perhaps it was too muddled to come through. Anyway, feel the love!
Moss_Moses
January 30th, 2008 at 5:53 pm [Reply]

What kind of company is Affect Advertising, anyway? Are we to assume that the clown-suited Ryan is the head honcho in the clerk typist pool? Vera is in direct violation of that cardinal rule of dating: “Never shit where you sleep”. She’ll end up back with Drew before long…
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 30th, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

#18 Mac — I also didn’t notice the pun until you mentioned it and I read the strip aloud.

#24 GDN — I recently became a member of an internet dating site and, as one of my interests, I listed “assonance”. Only time will tell whether this was a smart move.
Kumquat, Jungle Citrus Fruit
January 30th, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

Baldo – If Baldo’s dad can remember how to sing a song in spanish, but not remember that said song is sexually explicit, maybe he’s not the right person to be teaching spanish to the kids.

Edge City – Comic Dad whose name I forget is making all the classic mistakes. If he’d just run out and done his errand, everything would have been fine. But after three days of “gosh, is it safe to leave the kids at home alone for two minutes? aw heck, what’s the worst that could happen?” he’ll be lucky if the house is still standing when he gets back.
Madeline
January 30th, 2008 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

FW – Um, I still don’t get the pun.
Sili
January 30th, 2008 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

Is it callous of me to hope the Toni soon gets killed in a horrible firefighting incident?

I mean it’s not like I’m hoping the trauma will cause Brad to finallly consummate his ever more homoerotic relationship with TJ. Nope, not me. No sirree, bob.
Gabacho
January 30th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth – Drew, get out of there. The girl is crazy, I tell you. She’s capable of anything. Now we find out how she worked her way to the top from Clerk/Typist so quickly.

Seriously, Drew, don’t sit there, don’t fight, don’t try to fulfill your curiosity, just get up and politely say, “Well, Vera, I must be going. Good to see you again and nice to meet you Von, I mean Ryan.” Then walk out. And don’t look back.

or….

Lean across the table and tell Ryan, “Hey, Ry, I was nervous that Vera had gone back to Von but I was wrong. You seem like a cool motherfucker and you are going to be way happy with Vera the brotherfucker.”

Yeah, go with the second one.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 30th, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

#29 — “I haven’t the Vegas idea” = “I haven’t the vaguest idea”.

People have been beaten up for less.
Gabacho
January 30th, 2008 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

Sally Forth – Living here in hurricane alley, I am shocked by what people buy to load up for a storm. Apparently Strawberry Pop Tarts are the main seller. Even higher than hard liquor.
Violet
January 30th, 2008 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

Drew: Vera, baby, what does he have that I don’t? Is it his coordinating goldenrod suit, overcoat and pompadour? I guess I can’t compete with that.

Vera (rueful laugh, inscrutable hand gesture): No, Drew, it’s the fact that he can have me fired. Also, I felt that you were not sufficiently insecure and controlling.
Loppie Scaduto
January 30th, 2008 at 6:15 pm [Reply]

3 Skullturf: it’s “AFF-ect”… the “TA-tion” is silent.
Cami
January 30th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

15 – Tomorrow’s strip will feature the revelation that glasses-stalker-man is Vera’s OTHER boyfriend, who showed up four hours early for their date. He will be angry at seeing her with Ryan and Drew, and proceed in choking them all on my beloved orange donuts.
Gold-Digging Nanny
January 30th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

teegee, blessened and Pseudonimh (saw your post yesterthread, teegee — I assume that was you at 143)

Sorry I’ve been lax about checking the Boise forum thread. I’ve just posted a couple possible meetup dates. Let me know what you think. I promise I’ll check the Boise thread more often.
Lindsey ^_^
January 30th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

I had to read today’s FW a few times, then say it out loud, before I got it. And then I wished I hadn’t. Ugh.

And I love the third panel of today’s Mark Trail. HOLY MACKEREL! Is that the closest Mark Trail has ever gotten to swearing? What a potty-mouth.
Mr. O’Malley
January 30th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

#10 mav—While it’s true that firefighters in the burbs don’t have a lot of fires to deal with, they often provide medical assistance or investigate when people smell something suspicious. They also deal with car accidents where gasoline gets spilled and other toxic materials problems. Any of which could be a basis for some other plotline.

#27. Skullturf—You’ll probably meet poets or linguists. Or people who can’t spell.

#20 et al—If everyone who works there spends this much time at lunch, it’s probably A-ffuct Advertising.

Florists could join the Jonquil Patrol.
Poewar
January 30th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

Harry Dingle’s Vegas Itinerary

1. Visit Liberace Museum
2. Hit Cravings Buffet at the Mirage and try the turkey
3. Bang a hooker
4. See Toni Braxton
commodorejohn
January 30th, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Best part about this Andrew Gregory fellow? “My brothers and I discovered that it was the funniest strip in the paper, whether it meant to be or not.” He’s a ‘Mudge, whether he knows it or not.

Anyway, Herb & Jamaal featured firefighting scenes? I presume it was referred to as “dealing with oxidizing chemical reactions,” but I can’t find it in the supposed previous month it took place in. Was it on a Sunday, perhaps?
SecretMargo
January 30th, 2008 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

20: Josh, I remembered your joke so well that I thought today’s mention was a shout-out, honestly.

9: Reyard: YES! I’m not crazy! I wasn’t sure why no one was really putting that together, figuring there was some plot point that precluded it that I’d missed. Now I know it’s just PTSD.
stanaconda
January 30th, 2008 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

Drew’s disappointment is compounded by Vera asking him to meet her at the coffee and augmentation cafe. Those are not floating donuts under the counter.
Little Guy
January 30th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

TDiET: Leave it to Scaduto to be low-tech to the very end. Instead of tasers, metal pipes, or bulldogs, the cops are hammering the perp with a old-fashioned billy club.
Benicillin
January 30th, 2008 at 6:34 pm [Reply]

Is Dr. Drew chewing Skoal?
the luke
January 30th, 2008 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

OK, who actually reads Gil Thorp?
Buck Ripsnort
January 30th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

33: Gabacho–YES! Working retail, I’m always astonished at the constant purchase of bread, milk and eggs before and during snowstorms. Bread I can maybe understand, but do you want to buy perishables when your fridge is out? Does snow make people crave french toast?
Gryph
January 30th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

I confess, I’m confused. We’ve been told that Vera works for an ad agency, but her boyfriend/boss is dressed like a Century 21 agent who took the gold blazer one step (or three or four steps) too far.
frumpiefox
January 30th, 2008 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

Yesterthread, #297 queek:

I’m a righty, left eye dominant. I shoot basketball and firearms left handed and can write tolerably well with either hand. You’re the first person I’ve come across with a similar situation!
Mr. O’Malley
January 30th, 2008 at 6:40 pm [Reply]

#28 Kumquat, JCF—Re Baldo. That reminds me of this Dutch TV commercial. NSWF. Apparently OK to broadcast in Holland even though a large percentage of the population can speak English.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 30th, 2008 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

#49 frumpiefox — I too am right-handed but left-eye dominant. I was wondering with some friends over Christmas how common this is.
frumpiefox
January 30th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

FW: The paltry pun bothers me less than the fact that no one told “Harriet” that you’re only supposed to take your husband’s surname when you get married, not the whole stinking thing.
GG
January 30th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

This TDIET clinches it: the strip takes place in a world where everyone-cops, thieves, women-is a schlumpy middle-aged white man. Women are just middle-aged white men in drag, children are just especially short middle-aged white men. Hell, the hardened robber here is so much of a schlumpy middle-aged white man that he wears a sensible green sweater over a shirt tucked in above the waistline while on a crime spree. He’s even going gray!

I swear, TDIET is like one of those old productions of Shakespeare where every role was played by men, except everyone here’s at least 50 and the tragedy (or the comedy, for that matter) has been replaced by petty griping.
Harold
January 30th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

This is certainly the most violent TDIET I’ve seen in a while – maybe ever. What’s in store for the Final Three?

Beaten to the punch with the Dick Cheney observation! But are we sure Harry Dinkle is still nearly deaf? The other day he seemed to be able to hear his wife’s half of a conversation without visible hearing aids, and with his back turned to her.

Oh, and what Hank said in 21. The challenge: an entire storyline featuring grotesque, physically impossible characters named after Comics Curmudgeon readers! I wonder what the “Josh” character will look like?
Mr. O’Malley
January 30th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

#50. Actually, there was a link to another posting of that same ad that said it was banned from Dutch TV. I wonder what advertising agency came up with that great concept?
frumpiefox
January 30th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

# 51 Skullturf Q. Beavispants: Veeery interestink! I’ve never looked into it much, but now I think I might.

I was once told that, because I also write with my paper turned sideways, starting at the bottom and writing upwards (yeah, figure that description out!), that I might have technically been left handed but taught to be a righty. Or maybe I’m just weird.
Mark
January 30th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

I like that last panel in today’s Luann. The way the thought ballon is placed, it appears BOTH Toni and Brad are thinking the same thing… The hardest challenge either of them could ever face is Brad asking her out!
Rusty
January 30th, 2008 at 6:56 pm [Reply]

FW: Harry is perusing the Cadillac Ranch brochures, hoping for a quick hop on a hooker while his wife is wandering the buffet lines.
Harold
January 30th, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

#11 boxjam, thanks for saving me the trouble of fining the link! Darkest Love Is… EVER!

The Lockhorns made me laugh today. A lot.
Jamus Of The Jungle Patrol
January 30th, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

Luann: 10 and 39, thanks for bringing that up. I gotta give Evans credit for showing the day-to-day of firefighters. Not everything’s gonna be Backdraft and 9/11. From what i’ve heard of firefighters, and it’s admittedly not much, i’d guess 90 % of their work is maintenance and makin’ chili, and other 10 % is the above medical assistance and gasoline spills. Now if we can get Evans to show Toni’s rack during the summer, washing a firetruck. That would be a good thing.
TDIET: I loved…LOVED today’s TDIET, God Rest Al Scaduto. I wonder if he knew that they only protect the perp’s head in preparation for the “screen test”, which Dick Tracy once explained this last summer. The result of which makes the perp’s face look like a waffle with Mrs. Butterworth’s Raspberry Spread.
9CL: Damn. That last panel of Edda all spread-eagled on the sofa…I mean, that’s just not right. CHILDREN read this strip.
Dick Tracy: So….we’re looking at “Screen Test” by Warhol?
Sally Forth: Wow….” Maybe one of your friends at Toys R Us told you what an electromagnetic pulse is, and maybe you took your head out of your ass and listened, Ted. Well, that’s not what happened here, it’s probably some power lines come down due to ice. I keep track of these things, Ted. One of us has to.” Next comes the inevitable crowds of people beating each other for gasoline and duct tape.
FC: It’s weed. The good kind.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 30th, 2008 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

Wikipedia thinks 2/3 of people are right-eye dominant, whereas about 85 to 92 percent of people are right-handed. Thus, those of us with “crossed dominance” are perhaps not as uncommon as we might have thought.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ocular_dominance
odinthor
January 30th, 2008 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

TDIET — Hm. My accepted-but-remained-in-the-hopper suggestion to TDIET was also police themed. (Something along the lines of: Police Captain Chuck Charisma never tires of telling community groups “Never hesitate to call the cops right away if you ever ever see anything the slightest bit suspicious in your neighborhood, and we’ll come right out to help you!” [picture of Capt. Charisma addressing the PTA]; But then . . . [picture of fearful homeowner on phone observing malevolent-looking thugs robbing someone while at the other end of the phone line at police headquarters we see Sgt. Scuttlebutt calmly reading a magazine and treating himself to coffee and doughnuts while he asks the homeowner "Are you sure it's not kids going to a costume party or just your neighbors out for a walk? You know, we have an important job--we can't always be running around for any little thing that people might see! blah blah blah..."].) Sigh, I wonder if my suggestion got Al thinking of Police-related antics…?
frumpiefox
January 30th, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

Interesting site on cross-dominance:
http://pages.prodigy.net/unohu/dominance.htm

Dunno how much of this is B.S, but it says that about 20% of people have cross dominance or other dominance issues (though that includes all sorts of things not to do with eye/hand stuff).

The whole issue seems mostly important to hunters and other shooters (go figure).
Ari
January 30th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

Every now and then, you’ll read some article on some tech blog about designing camouflage clothing that can alter its appearance to its background. Obviously, if you design clothing like this, you have to have the “front” display what’s on the “back” from all angles. Almost as importantly, though, you have to somehow stabilize the image, so that no matter how the wearer twists and turns, the image will compensate and appear motionless.

Clearly gasoline alley is depicting a character wearing some sort of prototype chameleon-like clothing. While it’s as yet unable to change appearance to match the surroundings, you can see how sensors woven into the fabric cleverly track the wearer’s motions, and always alter shirt such that the pattern appears horizontal. Sure, this has little practical use now (unless he’s walking in front of a fence, or maybe a larger man also wearing a plaid shirt). But give it time. In the not so distant future, headquarters will give him a version that can move beyond test-pattern images, and his career as an invisible superspy will begin.
Michael Shonk
January 30th, 2008 at 7:06 pm [Reply]

In the tradition of the exciting story strips of the past such as Steve Canyon, Tarzan, Flash Gordon and countless others that had readers eagerly waiting for tomorrow’s newspaper, today’s Judge Parker featured the action of Sam ordering lunch. I can hardly wait to see what happens tomorrow.
fluffy
January 30th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

Lately, Funky Winkerbean’s punchlines have all been in the form of puns which make sense only to Batiuk and Batiuk’s characters, who all seem to think they’re the absolutely most hilarious jokes ever. For example, January 18th’s strip – does that joke make any sense to anyone else in a way that’s even the slightest bit funny?
AhClem
January 30th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

#16 Will -
I’ve always thought that Toni Daytona’s lips bear a striking resemblance to Tennessee Tuxedo’s beak:
http://www.jrj-socrates.com/Cartoon%20Pages/tennesse_tuxedo.htm

Does that mean Brad is really Chumley? Makes sense to me.
Zamboni_Rodeo
January 30th, 2008 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

Curtis: G-dammit I don’t know who I want to punch more here, Curtis or Billingsley for writing this crap. I am sick and tired of Chutney getting the short end of the stick. It’s just not cute or funny anymore. Actually, it never was. It’s just damn depressing to see her get shot down everytime.

FC: Actually, I think Jeffy’s got a pretty good future as some sort of avant-garde post-impressionist. I like his use of color and movement.

GA: Say what you want about this strip being completely insane, but I am totally, unabashedly in love with the way Scanarelli draws, and today’s strip is a prime example of why. Panel three is especially good (Ari’s comment about the strangely perfect horizontal plaid notwithstanding) — I don’t see many other comic strip artists today working that kind of perspective and doing it well.

GF: We seem to be working our way back into the funny here.

MW: So… is Vera dating Dave Foley now?

Does anyone else bother reading Safe Havens? Most of the time I find it innocuous and harmless enough, if a little bit out there, but today’s really bothered me. First of, the dialog in panel one is stilted and awkward enough to belong in a Mark Trail strip. No human being speaks like that, a college student in particular. Further, I don’t know how things are now, but when I was in school, there was no way in hell a residence director would make a curfew, let alone enforce one. The entire strip today just doesn’t scan for me today, which I guess is why I felt the need to comment on it. It was just wrong enough to make me sit up and take notice rather than ignore it, which is what I usually do.
Gold-Digging Nanny
January 30th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

You know what I love about today’s Crankshaft? Ed Crankshaft isn’t in it.
benro
January 30th, 2008 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

My theory on Funky Winkerbean is that in the 10-year fast forward, Tom Batiuk has died and Mopey Pete has taken over the strip.
Lindsey ^_^
January 30th, 2008 at 7:25 pm [Reply]

I have a question for the writers of these soap opera comics like Mary Worth and Apartment 3-g. Do these people honestly think that they have a readerbase that seriously reads their comics? As far as I can tell, anyone who reads comics like Mary Worth and A-3g are there to mock them more than anything. Nobody really gets wrapped up int he story of Mary Worth and her dog.

So do these artists ever check the internet to see what people think of their comics? And when they do, what do they say? What do they do? How does it affect their future strips? If I was, for instance, the writer for Mary Worth and I read what people say about the comics, I would WANT to make Vera pregnant. Since 95% of my readerbase would be there to see something truly wacky happen, why not make it happen?

I just have a feeling that somewhere in the future one of these writers is going to get sick of writing their comic for a readerbase that doesn’t exist and pull out the big guns. Nobody freaking cares what happens to Eric in China, nobody really cares if Drew gets true love or not.

I just think it’s ridiculous that so many of these comic writers continue like this. I mean, come on, Jack Elrod. Is anyone really going to care if Mark gets nipples? Or if Cherry gets pregnant? DO SOMETHING.

Oh, and the writer of Gil Thorp needs to take a drawing class.
Mr. O’Malley
January 30th, 2008 at 7:27 pm [Reply]

64 Ari— It’s clothing along the same lines as those hubcaps that display a stationary image while rotating. Like these, except that the video doesn’t show the wheel rotating, but apparently it does. The more common ones are LEDs, but still very expensive.
McManx
January 30th, 2008 at 7:33 pm [Reply]

Luann — Those wishing more firefighter action in this strip be assured that with Toni so much on poor Brad’s mind, he’s spending a lot of time whipping out his hose to extinguish the burning in his shorts.

MWorth — Vera’s boss is clearly a surrogate for her brother Vonn; it’s as close to incest as she can come without legal action or snide jokes around Charterstone.
Squid Countess, Jungle Patrol Tactical Tentacle Division
January 30th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

MW – Janet Reno sits there behind Vera and her boyfriend, Blunt (”The name’s Blunt.–Blunt Affect”) and ya’ll say nothing? Everybody sees her there, though, right?
AlmostAGhost
January 30th, 2008 at 7:39 pm [Reply]

OK, we need a Gil Thorp character named after Josh. How do we make this happen?
rhymes with puck
January 30th, 2008 at 7:40 pm [Reply]

Here’s a summation of every Funky Winkerbean strip ever written: 1. Setup, 2. Character makes lame joke or pun/becomes an alcoholic/loses arm/dies of cancer, 3. Nearby character smirks. Sometimes smirking also occurs during the setup phase.
Lolsworth
January 30th, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

Love is undending despair at the arbitrary cruelty of nature, I guess.
Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
January 30th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

FW–actually it’s kind of nice to see Funky hearken back to it’s lighthearted, pun loving days of yore, back when the biggest problems were the never ending woes of the Scapegoats and unsold band turkeys.

Levitating donuts? Further proof they’re creeply aliens. Spies of the emperor Chennux?
UncleJeff
January 30th, 2008 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

I’m glad some of you check out “Love is”.
I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one seriously creeped out by that little panel.
Tybalt
January 30th, 2008 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

#46 the luke : I assure you, I read Gil Thorp. Otherwise I’d be completely lost by the discussions over at This Week In Milford.

ObComics : OK, so Ryan has a philtrum, the Most Likely To Marry A Computer from the Class of ‘86 in the background has a philtrum, but DREW HAS NO PHILTRUM. Space alien, man, I’m telling you. No philtrum = space alien.
Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
January 30th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

#15 I think the guy in the sports jacket and t-shirt is Peter Parker slumming in Mary Worth because
he feels it will have more slam bang action than his own–and he’s right!
Tybalt
January 30th, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

77 Lolsworth : wow, talk about creepy. That froze my blood cold.
Mel
January 30th, 2008 at 7:58 pm [Reply]

9: Reynard Noir,

You are not alone. That’s who I thought it was too — before he was introduced as Ryan.

The ass-grabber was named Ben Frank.
http://joshreads.com/?p=987
The Spectacular Jungle-Brick
January 30th, 2008 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

I once downloaded a short video about cross dominance. The woman in the latex bustier seemed to be right-handed.
SecretMargo
January 30th, 2008 at 8:08 pm [Reply]

83: Whaddya bet Moy also forgot his name, though? I’d like to be able to rule that possibility out, but…I mean look at this strip. Obviously the product of a distracted mind.
teegee
January 30th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

TDIET:

Why, yes, I HAVE noticed that! EVERY time! I see at least 3-4 bankrobber apprehensions a week, and EVERY TIME, they do it! Are the police flip-flopping on their understanding of the Constitution from minute to minute? Does a different cop get to run the arrest for a little while, and it’s always the soft-hearted one that gets to put the perp in the car? Well, I’ll be danged if I know, but in what seems like a continuous progression of daily bankrobberies that I happen to see, they sure do it EVERY TIME!
Poteet
January 30th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

# 72 — Mr. O’Malley, I was stunned by your erudite response to my cat quip in the last thread. Now my next cat may actually GET that name. How the heck is it pronounced?

“Ignorant of Irish In Iowa”
blueberrygrrrl
January 30th, 2008 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

Mr. Fable,

While we welcomed your recent announcement of the 2007 Bee Grinding Awards, we have noticed a possible rules violation disqualifying the Most Pointless Storyline with Matching Lame Ending winner.

We certainly agree that Mary Goes to the Dogs was, indeed, a very pointless storyline with an even lamer ending. However, we would like to bring to your attention the fact that during the official awards period (calendar year 2007), this story did not meet any of the nominee requirements!

Do we need to remind you that during said period, we saw shocking developments in veterinary imaging technology; dangerous transport of huge shipments of dog food; senseless violence against a purple scarf; and the Dec. 31 cliffhanger: Mary Receives a Phone Call. Clearly, this action-packed story was not award material until the dog park drama fizzled in January 2008, well after BGA nominations should have been considered.

Please be aware, however, that we do still hope you will acknowledge Mary Worth (both the character and the “comic” strip) to be a front-runner for the Lifetime Achievement Award in Bee Grinding.

Sincerely,
Blue, Berry, and Grrrl, Esq.
Quix
January 30th, 2008 at 8:58 pm [Reply]

MW – Panel 2: Drew looks like Bill Clinton most of last week.
dyslexic dog
January 30th, 2008 at 9:00 pm [Reply]

MW: Ryan has apparently received his training in Crimea. He also commemorates the Orange Revolution by shining forth in his old country overcoat, old country business suit, and though we do not see, his old country cummerbund.
yudantaiteki
January 30th, 2008 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

I liked the line in the Gil Thorp article: “My brothers and I discovered that it was the funniest strip in the paper, whether it meant to be or not,”

This reminds me of myself in high school, when I made the discovery that Mary Worth was by far the funniest strip in the paper, and I began cutting out particularly funny strips. I still wish I had this old one that I regarded as a quintessential strip involving some college student making fun of Ian Cameron, and then lines radiating out of Ian’s head.

I always tried to convince people of the comic genius of Mary Worth but nobody would ever listen to me — I think because you have to read the strip for a while before you start noticing it. That was the first thing I thought of when I found this site.
yudantaiteki
January 30th, 2008 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

#71: That’s a good question. I remember when I was in college and didn’t have access to a daily paper — when I went home for break I had my Dad tell me what the current storyline is in Mary Worth, and we both made the discovery that the Mary Worth plots sound a lot more interesting when you describe them than they actually turn out to be. Try it out sometime.

(I actually did read Rex Morgan, Judge Parker, Brenda Starr, and Phantom for intended enjoyment when I was younger; I still think I could read Rex Morgan without snark and enjoy it. I always thought it was kind of strange that Rex Morgan always seems to do action plotlines much better than any of the more action-oriented strips.)
Mooncattie
January 30th, 2008 at 9:23 pm [Reply]

MW – This has to be a first — a Doctor mumbling about a Clerk-Typist’s “killer work schedule”.

Of course, in the Mary Worth universe, a doctor who is a son of a doctor is obviously out of his league competing in the Love Arena against, say, a newly-promoted advertising agency supervisor.

Quit yer groaning, Doc. Lick your wounds, have another donut, and go back to your country club. Better luck at the next pool party!
Tats
January 30th, 2008 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

Man, for all the complaining we do about Mary Worth’s titular character, I’ve really grown to miss her during her prolonged absence from her own strip. Sure, she may be insufferably self-righteous and clearly evil, but God help her, she keeps the idiots in line. And considering she lives in an apartment complex where the average I.Q. hovers around the mid-eighties, that’s no small feat.
Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
January 30th, 2008 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

#81 meant to say “more slam bang action than his own strip”. My class was coming in as I finished. Alas, the time top is down for repairs so I couldn’t go back and rewrite it.
Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
January 30th, 2008 at 9:30 pm [Reply]

Oh, and last week I’m pretty sure I saw Clark Kent in the background. Looks like all the superheroes like to drop by the elegantly named “Cafe” for some of their antigravity alien donuts.
Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
January 30th, 2008 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

With those eyes, Ryan looks like he stepped right out of Mark Trail. Hey, Joe Giella, I give you credit for studying the work of other artists to improve your own work, but Jack Elrod is the wrong guy to ask for tips on drawing humans.

Oh, and a note to Vera: getting involved with one’s boss is almost as bad an idea as getting involved with one’s brother.
man behind the curtain
January 30th, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

LuAnn — The community in which these characters live is able to afford to operate parallel fire departments. One department spends its time on food drives, teaching fire safety to the kiddies, etc… and the other fire department responds to emergencies, fights fires, saves lives.
queek
January 30th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

63: trust me, there’s a reason that its important to folks trying to shoot something. Try the generic eye dominance test. (make a circle with the fingers of your strong hand, around a point roughly 10-15 feet away. Close one eye, then the other. Notice the difference? ) Now imagine that a bullet is going down each of those directions. Bit of a difference, especially for the Trailian duck that you’re aiming at.

Then there’s the “getting hit in the face with the ejected shells” problem if you’ve got certain guns on the wrong side of your body. ouch.
Lindsey ^_^
January 30th, 2008 at 9:56 pm [Reply]

#92 yudantaiteki – I agree that Rex Morgan is still readable on a serious level. I think one of the reasons is the art is actually pretty good most of the time so it’s visually appealing. I mean, look at A-3g. The art is horrible, and the plotlines are horrible. What does the strip have going for it? At least Rex Morgan has good art. Also, the writer for RMMD also seems to have a better grasp on the present than most others do. Not afraid to put *gasp* black people in the strip, or have actual diversity.

But the comics that I mentioned in my post are the ones in particular that I would like to know about… I just want to find Jack Elrod or one of the other writers and ask, “What do you seriously think your fans think about you and your comics?” I’m just really curious to know. This isn’t really ragging on them for being horrible people, as I do enjoy these comics, but again, it’s more in a snarky way.
Jen
January 30th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

Harry and Harriet? Seriously? Who proofs this shit?
jonnya
January 30th, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

I know the craze has died down a bit after last weeks fervor, but nonetheless I do hope you all will take in a viewing of my Phantom/Jungle Patrol video. I like to call It Jungle Patrol Boogie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQEbnXwJKDI
peaches
January 30th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

FW: Well no wonder he’s so miserable, old people are supposed to gamble in Atlantic City. Folk of their age group cant handle Vegas. They also cant handle cursing, sexual innuendo, and mixed race marriages. Common knowledge.
the dude
January 30th, 2008 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

#15 & # 36: Dr. Pants & Cami, Bah #74 Squid Countess kinda beat me to it, although I think Mr. Stalker in panel 2 of MW looks more like Rick Moranis cross dressing in a Janet Reno ensemble.
ChattyGenes of the Jungle Patrol, Far East Division
January 30th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

#102 jonnya. That’s FANTASTIC! I nominate that as our JUNGLE PATROL THEME VIDEO! Really, really great!!!
Sherman
January 30th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

Having stopped regularly reading the comics about 25 years ago, I can neither understand nor accept how far the FW band fascist has fallen. Torn apart by a Central American firing squad’s bullets, yes; a mellow slide into avuncular decay, never.
lone*star
January 30th, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

Sticking my toe in the comment waters here for the first time, and it was today’s Love Is … that drove me to it. I nearly spat out my coffee when I saw that this morning. Truly jarring and eerie and weird. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who noticed.
Z
January 30th, 2008 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

I wonder if Dagwood even puts black olives on bologna sandwiches…
Citric
January 30th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

Ziggy: My brother and his wife had a small dog named Sherlock that died recently. So mystery solved then.
brb
January 30th, 2008 at 11:01 pm [Reply]

#102 jonnya That’s excellent! Very creative, and a wide assortment of Phantom images.

Good work.
Anna Nimity of the Jungle Patrol
January 30th, 2008 at 11:04 pm [Reply]

Did anyone else notice that in today’s FOOB, a giant man/bear/dog has migrated over from Pluggers? AAAAAA! The Universe is unraveling. Chennux must be behind it. Anna is deeply disturbed.
The Spectacular Jungle-Brick
January 30th, 2008 at 11:20 pm [Reply]

jonnya @ 102: Terrific video! Truly inspiring! I’m inspired to quit my job and join the Jungle Patrol right now, or at least to “git it on” with my girlfriend at Guran’s urging.
Zaq
January 30th, 2008 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

With regards to today’s FC, it looks like we’ve finally met the author of Crock.

Also, Gil Thorp has been really freaking me out the past couple of days, because I can actually sort of almost follow the plot a little bit. That’s NOT NORMAL.
SecretMargo
January 30th, 2008 at 11:36 pm [Reply]

102: That is epic. You’ve probably re-ignited the craze once more. I particularly appreciate the comic book material you brought to bear. A masterpiece.
mollificent
January 30th, 2008 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

Jonny…way, way, WAY cool. I wish I had your skillz. ;)
True Fable of the Roopville Jungle
January 30th, 2008 at 11:41 pm [Reply]

#88 Blue, Berry & Grrrl,

Your protest has been noted and studied, and we will review the matter further. The ninja goats have final say on that particular award and as you know they can be quite pushy.

We also note that Mary Worth is indeed qualified to earn a Lifetime Achivement in Bee Grinding, but we are understandably reluctant to go to Charterstone and hand it to her. You are welcome to do the honors yourself but be aware that you will be subjected to unrelenting meddling should you do so.

Truman A. Fable
In the Safe Zone
True Fable of the Roopville Jungle
January 30th, 2008 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

#102 jonnya – It’s never too late for sterling videos! That is Very well done!

The security cameras recorded quite a dance sequence tonight from yours truly. I ought to be a real hit in the office tomorrow! XD
Starrynight
January 30th, 2008 at 11:59 pm [Reply]

#49, 51, 99- This discussion of right-handedness/left-eye dominance has been enlightening to me. I, too, have this characteristic. I never really thought about it much, except for the fact that there are certain types of traditional cameras that I can’t buy. If the viewfinder is situated to where it requires the right eye, it’s almost impossible for me to use. I have to have a camera with a viewfinder that uses the left eye.
Godzooky
January 31st, 2008 at 12:24 am [Reply]

#102 jonnya: First, great job! Particularly enjoyed the way you matched the pudgy pygmy pix to the “Get down!”’s.

Next, have to admit I had a weird reaction as I watched it: As the more realistically-depicted Phantoms went by, it struck me how silly it is to have someone run around in purple tights and stripey underpants, especially in a jungle. Then I felt silly when I realized I’ve read some of those comic books about the guy in purple tights and stripey underpants.

Also, to me, the pictures of the pudgy pygmy and other natives, juxtaposed with Phantom and Jungle Patrol, somehow highlighted the stereotypes behind the concept. I laughed and winced, all at once.

Don’t get me wrong. I admire your production, I love the song, I had a good laugh. However, I also had the above responses. Just throwing it out there in case anyone else had a similar response.

P.S. Is there any chance you could hook up with mollificent? A comic-strip montage would go great with that “Tomorrow” song.
Uncle Lumpy of the Jungle Patrol
January 31st, 2008 at 12:26 am [Reply]

Thursday Phantom

There’s an office to which no one ever commutes,
And only an echo returns your salutes.
As empty as winter and blacker than coal –
There’s a void at the heart of the Jungle Patrol!

Hawa raises the question nobody dares ask:
Just what kind of a leader has need of a mask?
Is this organization corrupt as a whole –
Could a pirate be running the Jungle Patrol?

Bangalla’s four hundred year-old masquerade
Falls apart when examined by some meter maid!
You had all better quit and apply for the dole
Than to pin any hopes on the Jungle Patrol!
Chromium
January 31st, 2008 at 12:28 am [Reply]

28, Kumquat- Wow, I have never seen nor heard of Edge City before, but I am filled with terror over that comic. Are the kids going to die??
Trixie Belden
January 31st, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

# 102 jonnya – Whoa! That was brilliant! Where on earth did you find all of that archival-looking stuff? I love the new theme song. Thanks for the treat!
Alida
January 31st, 2008 at 12:42 am [Reply]

One of my closest friends is a firefighter. Fighting fires? A very very small part of his job (but one he LOVES when he gets to do it!). There is a lot of locked cars, though, and car accidents. But few major fires.
Godzooky
January 31st, 2008 at 12:52 am [Reply]

#71 Lindsey ^_^: My two cents:

Have to keep in mind that most strips are produced weeks in advance, so any feedback is coming in long after the horses have left the barn. Even then, my impression is that many of these writers and artists operate in a kind of bubble and don’t pay much attention to reader opinions. They’d likely notice opinions from the syndicate, though.

Appreciate the pros (Ed Power, Ces, Weber) who’ve participated in this blog, but it takes a thick skin and a strong sense of humor to deal with the feedback from this site. I’m not too sure many of the soap comic creators would handle it too well if they did start reading CC.
Hank Kimble
January 31st, 2008 at 1:40 am [Reply]

Ok, after 40 years, I finally figured it out. . .Mr. Mitchell (Dennis’ Dad) is Clyde Crashcup’s older brother.
True Fable
January 31st, 2008 at 1:45 am [Reply]

9CL I volunteer to teach Edda some new words. >:D
A3G Grill job.
C’haft The last thing a doctor needs is to have some old fuck standing around to criticize. Give Ed a Jalapeno enema, doc. That’ll shut him up.
DtM Divide and conquer! Plus 5 points to Dennis. Well played, lad; well played.
(WT)DT Despite her freakish head sitting over her left shoulder rather than over her spine, Liz was Chief and damn proud of it.
FC Then the Fashion Police fined him for wearing a couch cushion on his head.
FBoFW Good GOD! From the way they’re spitting and slobbering, I should think Elly spends at least four hours scrubbing their dining room clean every day. These people are PIGS! Worse than pigs!
(DT)GT Yep, I was right.
Scenes from Suburban Hell Geez, get a load of that ginormous bathroom! And here’s Lois, just walking in on her son’s bathtime. MOM! Wouldja Knock already?!?
JP Cue the gushy music.
MT Absurdity in soooo many ways. Duh, they’re COMING BACK TO SHOOT YOU, STUPID! But I do like the cameo of Theo and Castoria and I guess their son Bucky.
MW They have so much in common – they both started at the bottom of the corporate food chain, they both screw a co-worker, and they wear business suits with perfectly matching topcoats! Squeee! Now hush up and order me some of those floating doughnuts from panel two.
Phantom What?! You dare question the integrity of He-Whom-We-Have-No-Background-Whatsoever-On? Off with her head!
Plugger Dammit, I don’t think Brookins has any fuckin’ idea what constitues a Plugger. Oh, yeah: Being old enough to remember listening to The Doors makes you a Plugger. Well then – me AND my children are Pluggers, you stupid ass; I raised them on oldies. And my mother loved the Doors; she used to ask us to turn the music UP.
RMMD This reminds me of the Mad Magazine take on Lawrence of Arabia – “Remember, kill them but don’t show any blood! Internal injuries only! Internal injuries only!”
Zits If he owned up to his actions more often, you wouldn’t melt like that. You’d be proud, but you wouldn’t melt.
Bobdog
January 31st, 2008 at 1:45 am [Reply]

MW – This is starting to read like something by Ayn Rand, which probably means I won’t finish it.
Bobdog
January 31st, 2008 at 1:51 am [Reply]

Phantom – This is my exact strategy for coming and going from the office too! It really allows you to be a lot more productive if your co-workers can’t catch you when you’re en route to your desk.
bats, Avian Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
January 31st, 2008 at 1:54 am [Reply]

102. jonnya: another winner! You indeed have mad jungle-patrol-worthy skillz!
GET DOWN!
Dr. Shrinker
January 31st, 2008 at 2:02 am [Reply]

#66 (Fluffy)

True dat. The joke on that date remains incomprehensible to me, despite the uproarious laughter shown on the faces of the ladies present.

Today’s (1/31) is equally inscrutable. “Relax.” “I am relaxed.” This is writing?
True Fable
January 31st, 2008 at 2:05 am [Reply]

#127 Bobdog – I know what you mean. I slogged my way through The Fountainhead because someone gushed about how great it was. I kept waiting for it to improve. There were no redeeming characters whatsoever in it, and by the last page I hoped a sniper would take everyone out. Didn’t happen. I felt cheated. I never bothered with another Ayn Rand novel again.
Mibbitmaker
January 31st, 2008 at 2:12 am [Reply]

1/31:

Curtis: Oh, well, the hell with Chutney, then! ….Yeah, I got nothin’. And apparently, neither does Ray Billingsley.

Marvin: Thank God Tom Armstrong didn’t write the Wacky Package Stickers!

Zits: Jeez, Chinbeard and company would’ve had him begging for mercy by now.

FOOB: Take THAT, Rod! ….. 38 years ago!

A3G: Poor Ruby, everyone’s telling her to get lost these days. By April, she’ll be dissing herself in a mirror.

FC: …Like Joan was to Adam’s statue on “Joan of Arcadia”!
Eats Shoots And Leaves
January 31st, 2008 at 2:20 am [Reply]

Old Goat #188, yesterthread

Jungle Patrollers are totally hoopy froods that really know where their towels are.

(alt spelling, towelles)
Frank Parsnip
January 31st, 2008 at 2:28 am [Reply]

A3G: Alan’s pissing off his friends everywhere he goes. But with Blaze dressed up to go promote the “IHOP Way of Life”, perhaps Alan realizes that he needs better friends and has decided to take a page from the Margo Magee playbook.

Mallard Fillmore: Tinsley did a great drawing of Madeleine Albright today. But if that was supposed to be a picture of Hillary, hopefully someone took away Tinsley’s car keys before he headed home from work that day.

MT: Cool! Mark is ready to let that plane eat some lead. The wise beaver dives for cover, yelling for Andy the dog to do the same.

Jugs Parker: Just as I suspected, the trip across the park to get a sandwich was going to put the two together. “Yeah, sit down and here… I’ll feed you some popcorn too.”

Sex Organ, M.D.: If the bank robber “catches them”, won’t it already be too late to start using the guns? I think Rex ought to re-think his strategy. It’s a bit like training soldiers to keep ahold of their weapons because they’ll “come in handy when you need to escape from the POW camp.”

GT: I can’t help wondering what on earth the Trumpet’s editor just asked the fire chief. Editor: “Hey, anecdotally speaking… would you say Andrew Gregory is there at more fires than most normal Milford citizens?”

Fire Chief: “A few more than usual, Miss Marzano — but nothing alarming.”

Foob: John/Rod is going to be retconned into the most evil bastard in the planet. Only Lynn’s editor stopped her from throwing in a final panel featuring Rod in a jealous rage, threatening her with a broken bottle neck and shouting: “TELL ME WHO HE IS, WOMAN!”

BB: Finally we get a close-up of the “controversial” portraits from Dick Tracy.

MW: Ryan is a fellow self-starter! Vera is still down on one of those bottom rungs, but she has ambition and is willing to work her way up and down the slippery pole of success.
mollificent
January 31st, 2008 at 2:29 am [Reply]

#117 TF: I would pay good money to see that. *big grin*

#119 Godzooky: What I really need to do is get one of those “Tomorrow” karaoke tracks from iTunes and re-record the damn thing, which would give it some sense of rhythm and help me actually *gasp* STAY ON KEY. ;) But there’s something about the spontenaiety of the original…Anyway, if the talented JonnyA were to do something with it, I would be over the moon, of course. :)
Eats Shoots And Leaves
January 31st, 2008 at 2:38 am [Reply]

January 31

Best Mark Trail ever! Terrified beaver in panel 2 dives for the water as he yells to his beaver friend Andy to “Get down!” since they do not know what that wackjob in the boat with the dog is up to. Hijinks ensue when Andy the dog mistakenly thinks the beaver is talking to him. This may be the most interesting plot twist I’ve ever seen in a Mark Trail comic.
Poteet
January 31st, 2008 at 3:10 am [Reply]

RMMD — Now I realize that there are Lowlife Rules that must be followed when a crazed wounded armed felon approaches an old cabin in pursuit of fleeing hostages. He is required to knock on the door and yell “Here I come, three minute warning!” and then stand around long enough to give the cabin occupants time to hide behind large objects and point their guns at the door. That’s the only rational reason why Rex and Nike would be sitting around with their backs to the door TALKING about Lee instead of keeping an eye out for him. That, or they are dumber than dirt.
Poteet
January 31st, 2008 at 3:11 am [Reply]

# 137 — Sorry, Niki. But he’s dumber than a shoe.
ChattyGenes of the Jungle Patrol, Far East Division
January 31st, 2008 at 3:16 am [Reply]

#137 #138 Poteet. Good grief, are you still up?? You’re becoming nocturnal! (heh heh heh!)
Mr. O'Malley
January 31st, 2008 at 3:17 am [Reply]

87 Poteet

Go to this website for Alyth McCormack’s album An Iomall and click on the “Listen” button for the song Bothan. It’s the last word of every chorus (version starts with chorus).

Fionnghuala is a girl’s name meaning “white shoulders”. Also pronounced “Fionnaghuala”. Anglicized as “Finula” or “Fionnuala”. In Irish legend Fionnghuala was one of the four daughters of Lir who were transformed into swans for a period of 900 years.
Uncle Lumpy
January 31st, 2008 at 3:19 am [Reply]

Poteet -

You are being grossly unfair to dirt. And shoes.
Frank Parsnip
January 31st, 2008 at 3:26 am [Reply]

Chatty and Mollificent, “Tomorrow” was wonderful. Keep it up!

BTW, Mollificent has a truly excellent voice — I lost the ability to hit those high notes years ago when I was in an accident that left me with a third testicle.
Kurdt
January 31st, 2008 at 3:35 am [Reply]

#11: That Love Is is so incredibly creepy it put chills down my spine.

A naked little girl kneeling on a grave? Who would draw that? And who did she kill? Was it the genital-less little boy?

Maybe he got tired of being a eunuch and killed himself.
Mr. O'Malley
January 31st, 2008 at 3:35 am [Reply]

140. Sorry, actually I meant four children of Lir. Actually it’s hard to tell their gender when they’ve been transformed into swans. The others were Aodh and twins, Fiachra and Conn.

Thomas Moore wrote a poem ‘Silent O Moyle, Be The Roar Of Thy Water’ (the song of Fionnuala). Thomas Moore was once considered one of the great 19th century poets, but is very much out of style now.

Silent o Moyle be the roar of thy water
Break not ye breezes your chain of repose
While murmuring mournfully Lir’s lonely daughter
Tells to the night star her tale of woes
When shall the song her death note singing
Sleep with wings and silence furled
When will Heaven it’s sweet bell ringing
Call my spirit from this stormy world?

Sadly o Moyle to thy winter-wave weeping
Fate bids me languish long ages away
Yet still in her darkness doth Erin lie sleeping
Still doth the pure light its dawning delay
When shall that day-star mildly springing
Warm our Isle with peace and love?
When will Heaven its sweet bell ringing
Call my spirit to the fields above?
mollificent
January 31st, 2008 at 3:43 am [Reply]

I love to play that song on the harp. :)
Mr. O'Malley
January 31st, 2008 at 3:50 am [Reply]

Where are you guys reading Love Is? It’s not on any of my usual comics sites. I was hoping someone had put a stake in its heart back in the 1970s. I really have had no desire whatever to read it, but the discussion has made me curious.

I must admit that the parody site is really hilarious.

“A naked little girl kneeling on a grave”? Love is … Greyfriars Bobby.
A Monkey's Uncle
January 31st, 2008 at 4:25 am [Reply]

you know, I don’t read it every day, but whenever I check out 9CL I get the idea that Mr. McEldowney is a really horny guy.
Mr. O'Malley
January 31st, 2008 at 5:02 am [Reply]

EC: No problem, the kids are watching some obscene rapping bunny video.

MW: “We have so much in common! He worked his way up to the top, and I’m working my way up on my back.”

JP: Where is this strip supposed to take place? It looks like they’re in Central Park in NYC. But if Sam and Abbey live way out in the country, he must have a wicked commute.

Phantom: Wait, Judge Parker runs the Jungle Patrol? No wonder he doesn’t have time to show up in his own strip!

RMMD: I must agree with somebody back there who complimented this strip on its artwork. But continuity? In panel 1 Niki is wearing a T-shirt (could possibly be a necklace, but I’m going with T-shirt) and in panel 3 it’s gone.

SF: Sally could join the Jungle Patrol, she’s already got her own mask. Also, in reference to previous discussion, if your power failure is caused by a snow storm, couldn’t you just put your perishable goods outside? It’s not like a hurricane or an earthquake that could happen in warm weather.

6C: I’ve just started reading this and so far I like it.

TDIET: That’s pretty funny. Is that one of us again? When he was getting the 60 inch plasma TV I would have advised him to go for the color model instead of the B&W. I’m glad to see he bought it from a place that hires decorated war veterans as salespeople.

ZtP: Bill Griffith does the best silent penultimate panels in th’ business.

Zits: Heartwarming moment. I knew from the start it was on the way. If only I remembered how to do a link back to an old post, I’d show you all!

HotC: Last year, happiness was finding my library cards in the coat I hadn’t worn since last winter.

Pluggers: OK, Tom Furrh is from Oceanside, CA. Likely prime Doors country. But see where this could be going? You’re a Plugger if you still have your mudstained jeans from Woodstock. You’re a Plugger if you did Owlsley acid. You’re a Plugger if you remember the Grateful Dead doing free concerts in Golden Gate Park. (Uh oh. That means I once had a Plugger girlfriend. I swear she wasn’t what G. W. Bush would call a “chimera”.) You’re a Plugger if you had group sex. You’re a Plugger if you’re addicted to heroin. (That would explain yesterday’s Plugger who broke into Funky Winkerbean and stole a saxophone.) Actually, the more I work with this concept, the more I think it would be an improvement. Note to Brookins: “youre” should have an apostrophe, you can’t have used all of them making plural’s.

GT: That fire chief—didn’t he get a Victoria Cross at Rorke’s Drift? Panel 2, she must be wearing special shoes to lean over at that angle. Maureen and Helen—identical twins?

I may be getting soft, but I got a laugh from Monty, OBH and PBS today. I think Monty for the last couple weeks since he got his new girlfriend has been funny. I rather like the fact that even though he’s a highly intelligent but clueless nerd, he gets to have relationships with improbable women.
AppleGirl
January 31st, 2008 at 5:11 am [Reply]

MW – I’ve been sick with a miserable cold the past 2 weeks, and I thought the blond guy was Vera’s brother. Through my fever haze, I was weirded out by their kinky public display of affection. I had Mary Worth dreams of “maybe they’re normal, and I’m the weird one?” And also floating orange donuts. Now I finally get it, that’s her BF.

So Vera asked Dr. Drew out on a date just to dangle the new boyfriend in his face? Wow, she is still so totally obsessed with Dr. Drew.

Okay, back to the Nyquil and another 2 weeks’ long winter nap for me.
ChattyGenes of the Jungle Patrol, Far East Division
January 31st, 2008 at 6:14 am [Reply]

#149 AppleGirl. I hope you’ll feel better soon!

For what it’s worth, Vera’s boyfriend showed up two hours earlier than he was supposed to, and butted in on her conversation with/explanation to Drew.

Of course, if blathering Drew had shut up early on, Vera MIGHT have had time to explain things to him before Mr. Jaundice showed up.
And The
January 31st, 2008 at 6:46 am [Reply]

JP: This relationship is moving forward with all the subtlety of a freight train.

DT: One little piece of plot exposition is all Locher can manage today. Please enjoy yet another static panel of people insulting unrecognizable blobs of ink.

A3G: Hmmmm, can we get this strip renamed A3B, with Blaze, Alan and the Professor? That would be tons more interesting than the dull slop we get with anyone other than Margo.

MW: But Vera, Drew’s a self-starter, too! Don’t you remember the initiative he took when an opportunity with you came along? Some people just can’t appreciate a guy who takes his opportunities as they come.
gleeb
January 31st, 2008 at 7:02 am [Reply]

I don’t know if I want Love is… to be that dark. Without having done anything, I feel like I’ve kicked a puppy.

9CL: No, Edda, you can’t seduce anyone because you’re an irritating, sexless freak. You talk a good game, but you have nothing to back it up. It will be interesting to see if McDowner ever allows Edda and Amos to marry, just so we can see her horror that Amos wants to do that.

Baldo: Shapeshifter! Baldo’s boss is a shapeshifter! I don’t know why he wants to take the form of the late Ronald Reagan, though.

Beetle: Is that…a bone through Lt Fuzz’s nose? Yowza.

’shaft: Yes, Ed is being a jerk. But why has Batiuk put Rudy Giuliani in the hospital?

‘bean: Someone called it, but I’m not looking back to see who. Dinkle’s off to the prostitutes!

Gil Thorpe: The fire chief’s hat is like a badly-placed colorform.

Sam Driver, attorney-at-law: Sam’s not getting his chopped liver anytime soon. Will he be able to survive?

Mark: Dude, they’re just beavers.

Prick City: Wow, coded Marxism.

The Other Coast: Taking a wild slap at Sally Forth? Or just coincidence?
And The
January 31st, 2008 at 7:03 am [Reply]

9CL: Thanks, Brooke! Now I see that Edda may *appear* to be a desperate skank with all the grace of a mink in heat. But she’s actually a deceptive cocktease who would never actually sully herself by going….ugh….all the way.
man behind the curtain
January 31st, 2008 at 7:34 am [Reply]

MW — From climbing to the top of Affect to climbing on top of Vera. You’d think the boss could do better. Desn’t vera understand that after climbing his way to the top, Ryan certainly isn’t going to help anyone displace him. This could be interesting as the two plot each other’s demise.

A3G — Actually Ruby sent Blaze over to remove her lipstick from Alan’s glass and from other parts better left unmentiond.
bup
January 31st, 2008 at 7:47 am [Reply]

#143 Kurdt – I may have your answer.
Calico
January 31st, 2008 at 7:52 am [Reply]

MW – #149 – Yes, the donuts (D’oh!) are still levitating. Someone call Homer, quick!

DtM – Henry is trying to imitate Dr. Drew’s fly look.

FC – And this is what I’ve been trying to warn you all about this week – Billy is a psychological train wreck waiting to happen, and a violent, sociopathic one at that.
Get him in hockey gear and on the ice, pronto! ; )

GA – Nice plaid backside for 3 panels. Talk about the Drew-style…

MT – Lucky is back, and yelling at a large dog to duck and cover! Can this get any anthropomorphic?
Calico
January 31st, 2008 at 7:52 am [Reply]

#149 – Hope you feel better soon-don’t have too many comic-infused fever-dreams!
mcmc
January 31st, 2008 at 7:53 am [Reply]

Mark Trail: No, not you, Andy Beaver! Mark is talking to Andy Dog!
Calico
January 31st, 2008 at 8:03 am [Reply]

#11, #143 – WTF?
It’s like Anne Geddes on Demerol after the plague. How friggin’ awful!

That makes Batuik look like Tony Robbins. Shiite.
Calico
January 31st, 2008 at 8:05 am [Reply]

#155 – I didn’t know we were in the business of indoctrinating child soldiers…
AhClem
January 31st, 2008 at 8:14 am [Reply]

Every time the discussion turns to “Love Is…“, I feel compelled to re-post this link:
Rejected “Love Is…” Comics.
Calico
January 31st, 2008 at 8:31 am [Reply]

#161
Oh
Gawd
willethompson
January 31st, 2008 at 8:41 am [Reply]

MW: I should be making some comment like, “As a toiler in the boiler room of countless advertising agencies, I have to ask Vera’s Sparky McHitleryouth stalker friend, ‘What the hell is the ‘bottom rung’ at Affect Advertising?’ Since he looks like an account executive, I’m guessing it was wiping the ass prints off the lips of the senior AEs when they came back from a client meeting.”

No, that’s small potatoes compared to the burning question, Why the margoboxcar are these people having coffee at The Oversize Condom Museum?? Because if you look reaaaaallly close at those individually-placed tori in the cases, the labels say “Wilt Chamberlain,” “Paul Bunyan,” “Catherine the Great’s Horse” and “Field Marshall Bernard Law Montgomery (full body version)”
AMSTERDANG
January 31st, 2008 at 8:55 am [Reply]

JP: I notice that Gloria has had her eyes closed in every panel since she met Steve. Is his disability so horrifying to her that she literally cannot look at him? Or, like me, is she just allergic to WD-40?
Randall
January 31st, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

No Brad, she won’t go out with you. While you’re wrestling with your latent homosexual urges for your perm headed houseboy, Toni is sleeping her way through the entire fire department, even the fat guy with the back hair.
Bootsy
January 31st, 2008 at 9:09 am [Reply]

MT Jesus Christ, Mark! You don’t know what they’re up to? Review the last couple strips (where they shot at you)! Nimrod. Wait, maybe he’s talking about the beavers though.

Phantom What is up with the pirate fixation? Maybe we should incorporate it into some everyday sayings. Here, I’ll start.

“It’s not piracy, you know!”

“He’s not the brightest pirate in the box.”

“It doesn’t take a pirate to figure that out.”

gh, this one’s for you

If you’re a fan of Professor Longhair, you can join the Junco Partner Patrol!

SQB I prefer alliteration.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 31st, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

From that link, it’s good to see that Neal Rubin has a sense of humor. Well, it certainly helps.

#184 yesterthread True Fable,
I enjoyed the second half of the BeeGees as well. So that ~~Mike Doonesbury~~Les Moore talks to a cat thing really happened. Thought it might be one of my nightmares.
Kurdt
January 31st, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

#155: Now it’s creepy and sad. I’m glad genital-less boy at least got to wear clothes into battle but why does genital-less nipple girl wear clothes to bed if she’s naked all day?

I’m thinking way too hard about this comic I know…
Calico
January 31st, 2008 at 9:35 am [Reply]

Love is…
Going on a totally fucked-up “fishing” trip with a 13-year old boy who is not related to you

Love is…
Bringing your ex-mate to the same “café” where you plan to meet your current squeeze 15 minutes after blowoff of said ex

Love is…
Showing us all Harry Dinkle’s almost nekkid body on a massage table
Kevin
January 31st, 2008 at 9:37 am [Reply]

I live in New York City, and passed a woman on the street last night who is a dead ringer for Vera, ponytail and all. I almost approached her, asking her if she’s jumping ship from Affected Advertising, and looking for work in The City (she was headed for Madison Ave, which EVERYONE knows is where all the agencies are — except the one I work for, which is on Park — but I digress…) Fortunately, sanity prevailed. But I think I need help.
Godzooky
January 31st, 2008 at 9:46 am [Reply]

WARNING, FYI: The end of the previous thread got hit with a wave of porn spam. I strongly advise NOT clicking on any of those links. Same advice if they start showing up on this thread.
dyslexic dog
January 31st, 2008 at 9:47 am [Reply]

JP: Gloria: “Steve…It’s Gloria Sanchez!”
Steve: “Sorry, wrong number. You’ve reached a guy with no legs, lady, not one with no eyes.”
cheech wizard
January 31st, 2008 at 9:55 am [Reply]

Interesting development in today’s Pibgorn – Brooke posted the initial sketch he was working on just before a gallstone attack sent him to the emergency room last weekend. What’s interesting is that it’s the panel he was planning to post on Monday – meaning that he apparently does this thing on the fly, though I suspect with some sort of outline worked out in advance. Still, considering that most cartoonists work six weeks or more ahead of schedule, it’s pretty impressive that he’s cranking out these spectacular panels with no time to spare. I’ll leave it to others to comment on what possible effects this may have on plot development.
Bobdog
January 31st, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

#131 – True Fable – This was pretty much my experience with the Fountainhead, except at a certain point I concluded I didn’t care what happened to any of these people so I gave up even though I was probably about 30 pages from the end. But now that you mention it, snipers would have been good.

Even worse is Atlas shrugged, which I got about three chapters into before I got the message — so and so pulled themselves up by their bootstraps to become fabulously rich with no help from the government whatsoever. It wasn’t so much a book as it was a cudgel.

PJ O’Rourke of all people actually had a good comment on Ayn Rand (from an appearance on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me) regarding if he was worried that the Fed Chairman (Greenspan at the time) read Ayn Rand and agreed with her philosophy. PJ said he’d be more worried if Greenspan read an Ayn Rand and thought it was good literature.
Artist formerly known as Ben
January 31st, 2008 at 10:09 am [Reply]

1/31

C-Shaft: Ed may think he’s tough, but he hasn’t seen what this hospital does to volunteer orderlies who don’t know their place.

DtM: Henry, do you really want to open the whole paternity can of worms?

S-M: At last we see some kind of cool gadgetry. Krandis has only one goon, and he poured the rest of his villain budget into R&D.

GT: My confidence in a fire chief who keeps his eyes covered while driving would not be very high.

Crock: Lamest ever or actually kind of funny? It’s a conundrum.

Momma: Mr. K has competition for Sonia’s non-affections. Competition from Mr. Potato Head.

MW: Yes, Dr Drew will be doing some self-starting tonight as well.

MT: I dunno, Mark. To me it looks like they’re just beavers building a dam. But you’re the nature writer, so if you think there’s something suspicious…

SFx: Does any place in America still have blackouts lasting several days. I live in New England, and the last extended blackout I remember is back in the eighties. This will, however, give Hilary and Faye a chance to do some experimenting in the dark.

JP: Gloria meets Steve Shannon’s private army of pigeons. Fine feathered soldiers whose skill and loyalty will someday allow Steve to RULE THE WORLD AHAHAHAHA!!!

Phantom: Who’s less tactful than lady cops and waitresses?

Big Dog: “Anything that lands near his bone is his” may be the filthiest line heard in the funnies since Clambake left Milford.

FC: Glory be! Billy’s thuggery continues unabated. He’s quickly becoming the most menacing towhead in the comics.

A3G: Alan shows classic good judgment by antagonizing his girlfriend’s large family of Texas rodeo clowns.
Randy
January 31st, 2008 at 10:11 am [Reply]

TDIET: “They cover his head so said thief shouldn’t get a boo-boo on his noggin” is the best-crafted English sentence I’ve read in a long time.
Godzooky
January 31st, 2008 at 10:12 am [Reply]

Re: Love Is, yesterday and today: My guess is this is a shout-out to women who have lost mates in the Iraq war. It could be a sentiment that came to writer Stefano Casali and artist Bill Asprey or even a tribute to a fallen soldier they know personally, who knows? Either way, since they only have one panel to work with, I think a short “In tribute to” or “In memory of” note would have helped yesterday’s come across better.
Godzooky
January 31st, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

#68 Zamboni_Rodeo: I check out Safe Havens every now and then. The characters, storylines, and humor are blah, but I like the artwork. And, you’re right: This week’s Big Brother (Sister?)/curfew storyline is more forced than usual. Well, they can’t all be winners.

GF: Now, to me, here’s a winner.

And I like today’s Bizarro.
sangwij
January 31st, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

I think Drew just threw up a little in his mouth.
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080131&name=Mary_Worth
gkl
January 31st, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

GT: “Where there’s a fire, there’s Andrew.” Is that like, “Where there’s human anatomy-defying angles, there’s Gil Thorp“?
AeroSquid
January 31st, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

FW 2018: Mebbe Harry will get a ‘Happy Ending’ as part of his massage. It’s Las Vegas of the future, right ? His Massage girl is probably a Harrah’s Gynopomorphic Coital Proxy Unit. Wait…no…this is Funky Winkerbean. Harry will have a heart attack on the table while his cooling corpse is still being kneaded by the red-eyed, soulless automaton.
Uncle Lumpy
January 31st, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

#181 — AeroSquid

I’d love to see Dinkle relax, go completely Vegas, win a bunch at the tables and enjoy the hell out of the rest of his retirement.

Then I remember what strip I’m reading, and just hope the casino comps his Medevac.
Perky Bird
January 31st, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

Today’s strips:

Gasoline Alley– If this storyline ends with Mac the postman being forced to prostitute himself on the mean streets of GA-ville in order to survive, this will become my new favorite strip!

Phantom- “For all you know, he could be a pirate! Or an astronaut! Or a rodeo clown! Or a girl!”
AeroSquid
January 31st, 2008 at 11:35 am [Reply]

#182 – Uncle Lumpy

Maybe a cool futuristic HoverVac piloted by Gynomorphs !
jonnya
January 31st, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

119- Gadzooky-

I hear you. When I was putting JPB together it occurred to me that some folks would have the same “laughy/wincey” reaction you described. Honestly I had it a bit myself. But then I figured that the history of American pop culture and the issues that it brings to light in 2008 is bigger than the both of us, so to speak. The Phantom has been around since 1936. We’d be hard-pressed to find any form of mass entertainment from that era that isn’t basted with racist undertones and stereotypes, and the fact that it’s set in “the jungle” only compounds the matter. But then again sometimes a pygmy is just a pygmy. When and were the “racist” line is crossed is unclear to me. Even when it is crossed I’m not sure if it automatically trumps the “product of its time” card, a la The Phantom. Right or wrong it’s history, and it’s out there in the zeitgeist. It’s who we were. I think the best comedians/creators from all cultures acknowledge that history and are able to make to make light of it.

Honestly I don’t know where the lines are drawn with this type of stuff when it comes to newspaper strips. Is a strip like Andy Capp an indictment of stereotypical depiction of wife-beatin’, hard drikin’ lower class white Brits, or is it just set in the culture that creator was familiar with? Would Herb and Jamaal (a soul food restauranter and a former NBA player) give us the “wincey” feeling if an African American didn’t write it? What’s the difference between an old Amos ‘n’ Andy episode from the 30’s and Baldo cramming it’s Latino-ness down our throats today? Is any strip written by an Anglo that depicts a non-white character that isn’t white-breadly innocuous in his/her behavior ( Lt. Flap and the Japanese guy in Beetle Bailey) automatically a candidate for that “wincey feeling”? Heck if I know. The only criteria that I go with in both enjoying and creating entertainment of any genre and era is that good is good and bad is bad.

Whew. Turns out I’m a blowhard! Anyways thanks for the to you and everyone for the kind words on JPB. I really do appreciate it.
rich
January 31st, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

A3G: Blaze = Keanu Reeves?
bats, Avian Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
January 31st, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

181. AeroSquid: yay! the Squid is back! Good to see you! Are you joining the Jungle Patrol, too?
Bootsy
January 31st, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

jonnya, glad to see you’re back, even though the firewall here prevents me from seeing most of the cool stuff. When/if I ever replace my home computer I’ll not be so constrained. Same thing with bats’ stuff, and the recent chattygenes/mollificent collaboration.

(Home computer lost in the same event that drove Niki to Rex Morgan.)
Cornwhacker
January 31st, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Interesting article about Kim Casali, creator Love Is…

She initially drew the cartoon for just the amusement of her boyfriend in love notes, etc. He showed them to a friend who in turn published them (and they eventually got syndicated… somehow). Anyway, she married her boyfriend, he died briefly after, and now that she’s dead, her son’s writing Love Is…

So read the cartoon with that in mind.
Cornwhacker
January 31st, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

“creator OF”
“THEIR son”

Sheesh, I previewed & everything!
Paperback Rifler
January 31st, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

Late with the kudos again, but jonnya, your “Jungle Patrol Boogie” is awesome! That Phantom is phunky! Oh-h-h yeah-h-h!

As for my own unworthy efforts:

Get Fuzzy: I laughed and laughed. Then I imagined the third panel being spoken in a voice like Ivan Drago from Rocky IV, and I laughed some more.

Judge Parker: I knew it! All this time, we’ve been led to believe that Steve Shannon is Mayor McPerfect; but it turns out that he’s just another legless popcorn-pusher!

. . . Okay, so I thought I had something there, but it obviously didn’t pan out. Oh, well. Speaking of feeding pigeons, I guess that the next few days of this strip are going to show that Steve has Gloria eating out of his hand. Probably not literally, though.

Mark Trail: I think it’s charming how Jack Elrod has actually gotten a fairly tense plot sequence going but is unable to get through it without randomly inserting a wildlife portrait. Unless I’m mistaken, Alfred Hitchcock, in his films, had to suppress a similar compulsion to cut to shots of wildlife in the middle of a suspenseful sequence. Of course, Hitchcock eventually managed to work all of that out of his system by filming The Birds, but our Jack is stuck with drawing beavers whenever the mood strikes him. (Okay, I’ll throw this in: “Nudge nudge.” Fine.)

Apartment 3-G: Miscellaneous observations —
1. Wow, rich (#186), that really IS Keanu Reeves! Accordingly, I predict that Blaze’s next line in tomorrow’s installment will be, “Whoa!”
2. With regard to personal space, Blaze and Alan are allowing themselves not a comfortable twenty-five inches, but an alarmingly intrusive six inches. In real life, getting that close would lead either to kissing or to headbutting. In Apartment 3-G, it’s probably just going to lead to more talking or, if we’re lucky, an impressive head bob.
3. Alan apparently has stunted T. rex arms like Dick Tracy. Maybe what’s keeping him from being a good artist is that he can’t quite reach the canvas.

Phantom: Dang. It’s too bad that we already know who the Jungle Patrol commander is. Otherwise, I could have held out hope that the “unknown commander” is a conjoined mutant that the Colonel keeps under his shirt like “Kuato” in Total Recall.

And I still don’t have anything as good as Uncle Lumpy’s ongoing Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Jungle Patrol epic, but I did the following anyway. Apologies to The Go-Go’s, to everyone who likes “We Got the Beat” by The Go-Go’s, and to everybody everywhere:

See the ladies; they are dressed the same.
Quit their jobs, ’cause those jobs were lame.
Want adventure, so both of them came
To the jungle of Bangalla . . .

Jungle Patrol!
Jungle Patrol!
Jungle Patrol . . .
Yeah!
Jungle Patrol!

See the Colonel lookin’ all chagrined.
He don’t wanna let no women in.
He don’t know who his commander is,
Says some wishy-washy jive . . .

Jungle Patrol!
Jungle Patrol!
Jungle Patrol . . .
Yeah!
Jungle Patrol!

Will they make it? Are they gonna flop?
Who is tougher than a lady cop,
Or a waitress tired of serving slop?
All you pirates better hide!

Jungle Patrol!
Jungle Patrol!
Jungle Patrol . . .
Yeah —
Bangalla!

Jungle Patrol . . .
Jungle Patrol . . .
Jungle Patrol . . .
Get some women on that patrol;
All you pirates, shut yer pie holes;
Bangalla, we bet
You’ve seen nothin’ yet! Whoo!

Jungle Patrol!
Jungle Patrol!
Jungle Patrol!
sonneta
January 31st, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

My local paper had an article about the change in the comics page. When he talked about people complaining about the comics line-up, I thought of this site.
Red Greenback, Lady Cop
January 31st, 2008 at 12:06 pm [Reply]

Funky Miserybean: I don’t know if this has already been mentioned. (can’t read all the posts just yet, gotta get to my lady coppin’ place of toil) That crappy pun put me in mind of Lenny Bruce’s classic riff about the two-bit comedian opening for Georgia Gibbs at the Palladium: “Well, folks, I just got back from Lost Wages, Nevada. Funny thing about Lost Wages…”
Bunnë
January 31st, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

Josh, I too am a secret fan of “Creepy Lack of Affect Advertising”. Sorry for the silent giggles.
Gabacho
January 31st, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth – Does anyone think that Ryan, Vera’s Golden Goy, might be an actor she hired to teach Drew a lesson?

That would be lame enough for a plotline in MW. I mean, so far it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
cheech wizard
January 31st, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

So, the Jungle Patrol commander comes and goes when nobody’s looking? I suppose you can’t see him when he’s in his office either. Sounds like the Jungle Patrol’s led by Major Major.
AeroSquid
January 31st, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

#187 – Bats :[ Never really been gone. My book has been keeping me busy at night after work. Maybe one day I’ll finish the thing and knock that Potter wench off of her throne ! Maybe I need a ‘Jungle Patrol’ t-shirt.
Girl Reporter
January 31st, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

Today’s Mutts re-creates the post-Malone/Malotte-dustup-Mountie/Malotte moment.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/comics/king.htm?name=Mutts
gh
January 31st, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

S-M —

“Time to go MAGNETIC!”

I like this. It’s the first thing I’ve ever liked from this strip. And I think it’s the kind of mantra that a lot of other characters could use.

Afraid of losing Vera, Drew? “Time to go MAGNETIC!”

Pirate infestation, Jungle Patrol? “Time to go MAGNETIC!”

Buzzed by unfriendly aircraft, Mark? “Time to go MAGNETIC!”

Teammates not feeding you the ball enough, Andrew? “Time to go MAGNETIC!”

I want a T-shirt.
AtomicDog
January 31st, 2008 at 12:38 pm [Reply]

#58 Rusty: Harry gets off on cars planted nose-first into the ground? Talk about auto-eroticism!
Anonymous
January 31st, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

#116 Mr. Fable,

Thank you for taking this important matter under consideration.

Since our last correspondence, however, a new development has been brought to our attention, one suggesting a possible conflict of interest.

We received a memorandum from a Mr/Ms Nibbles expressing interest in traveling to Charterstone to present the Lifetime Achievement in Bee Grinding award. While this arrangement seems perfectly reasonable, we naturally questioned why such an individual would voluntarily enter that veritable den of mind-numbing boredom. It was subsequently brought to our attention that (1) Mr/Ms Nibbles served as juror on the awards committee; (2) Mr/Ms Nibbles has a personal interest in edible substances (evidenced by the chew marks on the memo); and (3) one Charterstone apartment is well-known to harbor a back-breakingly large bag of delicious store-brand dog food, out of which only one small bowlful has been removed.

Clearly, you see our concern.

To compound the matter further, our client, Ms. Vera Shields, now wishes to register a complaint with the awards committee. Ms Shields maintains that during 2007, she was equally responsible–indeed, we would argue more directly responsible–for the high caliber of bee grinding achieved by the comic strip in question. She specifically requests that the committee review her thought-bubbling work in the “Vera Has a Secret” sub-plot.

In light of these developments, we hope you will agree to reconsider your awards selection. If you will not, we may have no recourse but to demand that curses be placed upon you.

Sincerely,
Blue, Berry, & Grrrl, Esq.
queek
January 31st, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

102: well done!!! *applause*
UncleJeff
January 31st, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

#146 — Mr. O’Malley — “Love is” is available at ComicsPage.com. Check out the one from Tuesday where the little naked boy puts the sign on the little naked girl. Oh to have the skill to replace the cute word on the sign with something else! Photo Shop, I believe the kids call it.
#161 — Ah Clem — There is always room for the classics. We need some additions to that great list.
#178 — Godzooky & #68 Zamboni Rodeo: “Safe Havens” used to be one of my favorites. Don’t see it much any more but it was one of those strips where the characters were allowed to “age” so we saw the lead character Samantha grow from a toddler to a teenager. She was also not the original main character of the strip. That was a woman who ran a day care center (called “Safe Havens”).
man behind the curtain
January 31st, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

MW — Just thinling. Maybe it’s time for Dawn Weston to show up at the coffee shop. Only it turns out she’s there to meet Ryan.
Poteet
January 31st, 2008 at 12:58 pm [Reply]

# 139 ChattyGenes — Yes, this is getting weird. Tonight I’m going to get to bed earlier by hitting myself on the head with a brick, if necessary. Or reading FW archives, which would be far more painful.

# 140 — Thank you, Mr. O’Malley. Lir’s children have beautiful names. And I enjoyed the poem, out of fashion or not.

# 141 Uncle Lumpy — BWAHAHA!

Hey, now I know why I stay up late. Some of the most interesting Mudges are posting then.
Mad Dog Rackham
January 31st, 2008 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

#86 Teegee: Yes, I’ve noticed that too and I’ve been at a lot of robbery apprehensions.

I must say I really appreciate the courtesy, as I’m tired of having that big lump you get from cracking your head on the roof of the squad car.
t007
January 31st, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

A3G – And you thought RMMD was GAY.
BB and Secret Asian Man are equally annoying today.
MW – Ooooh, floaters!
PMP – Who is drawing this? It’s so ugly.
RMMD – Who knew burnin’ the benjamins would produce so much heat?
Marthas Rolling Pin
January 31st, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

MT: OOOHHHH!! Talking beavers!! I thought they just slapped their tails to warn of danger. And how nice of Theo and Castoria to name their baby in honor of Andy Dog.

Love Is: She walks these hills….without her long black veil.
Marthas Rolling Pin
January 31st, 2008 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

Oh, and my theory from yesterthread about the identity of the Jungle Patrol’s Unknown Commander is bolstered by today’s wider shot of the door….revealing the initials “J.P.” I tell y’all, the Judge has started a second career.
migellito
January 31st, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

Um.. Brad and Toni have already dated. Why is he so anxious about asking her out again? And why does Brad respond with anger to virtually every stimulus?

Eddie Haskell: Hey Brad, I fixed you a gourmet dinner!
Brad: You self-serving moron! I just cleaned those pans!
Pozzo
January 31st, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

Asking Toni out? Is that the limit of your fantasy life, Brad? You’re way behind. Right now, Toni is fantasizing using a strap-on on the chick behind her with the bi-color hair. Don’t worry, though; your roommate is making flan for dessert tonight, so everything will be alright.
Mel
January 31st, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

I like how Toni and Brad’s pocket button/nipples are eyeing each other.
rich
January 31st, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

191 – I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out the other person Blaze is reminding me of, some old tv character … could it be Eb from Green Acres??

http://www.tvland.com/shows/greenacres/images/tom_pic.jpg

http://www.fireextinguisher.tv/tom.jpg

http://www.maggiore.net/greenacres/images/e281.jpg
Poewar
January 31st, 2008 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

For a comment on today’s Spiderman, lets go to Morbo…

Magnets Do Not Work That Way!!!
Darkefang
January 31st, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

A3G: “Tell that sister of yours to stay out of my life!!”

Tell her yourself Alan, she’s sleeping on your couch, buck naked.

Crankshaft: In Crankshaft, every ligament is excruciating. Oh wait, ligament isn’t the word I was looking for. I meant to say “joke.”

DT: Lookin’ good, chief. I see they finally removed the head from your right shoulder.

FW: Harry Dinkle is about to discover whether or not happy endings cause cancer.

GA: A vacation without pay is kind of like a story with no point.

GT: Milford’s fire department apparently shops for hats at the yard sales of deposed military dictators.

MT: I guess beavers must make extensive use of padding when building their dams, because that’s all today’s strip is.

MW: I know people’s ages fluctuate wildly in Mary Worth, but that guy can’t be more than 30, based on today’s artwork. His journey must go something like this:

“I worked in Affect’s mailroom while I went to business school part time. Then, when I graduated with my MBA, Affect hired me as VP in charge of typists/ad executives.”

And Vera thinks she’s a self-starter? She lived in luxury for 25-30 years while her rich dad paid for everything. Then she only ever looked for a job because she had a spat with her brother for a few weeks. Now she’s providing herself with job security by boinking the boss. She’s a real Bill Gates.

RMMD: I don’t actually care enough to search for it, but isn’t this strip an exact replay of one from a few weeks ago?
RCW3000
January 31st, 2008 at 2:33 pm [Reply]

In Panel 2, Dr Drew is starting to morph into Moe Howard and I think that he is trying to decide between employing the 2-handed eye-poke or the multi-party face slap

It’s a good thing for the new boss and his harrassment suit in waiting that there are no pipe wrenches or handsaws laying about, only those levitating donuts

oooh woooh woooh woooh woooh…..Nyuk, Nyuk
Girl Reporter
January 31st, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

I am very late to the given-name party, sorry! I fell about a week behind and I’m trying to catch up with the rest of you.

I don’t know if it is still a rule, but the Catholic church wouldn’t baptize a baby unless he/she was given a saint’s name. Twelve years of parochial school with nothing but Marys, Johns, Catherines, Martins, etc. The child was supposed to grow up to emulate whatever earned the original Mary, John, Catherine or Martin their ticket to heaven.

I was named for two who gave up the wealthy, noble lives they’d been born to and set out to live humbly, serve the poor, and found orders of cloistered nuns and teaching monks. Thanks, Mom and Dad.

To this day, when I hear an unusual name I get a Batuikian smirk and think to myself “oh?, and what was Jermaghestie the patron saint of?”.
oceans 111
January 31st, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

Re: Luann: Actually, about 85% of what most fire departments do is heart attack calls. Can we see a cross-over to Crankshaft?
gh
January 31st, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

Sorry I haven’t been taking care of “business” lately, but “work” has been a bitch. I think I can just squeeze in one Today’s I?GT explained –

Panel 1: Chaos reigns [what else is new?] as the school is about to be folded up into a gigantic Hawaiian water bomb!

Panel 2: Maureen and Helen astutely decide that their only hope for survival is to Google for synchronized swimming routines in an attempt to ride out the inevitable flood.

Panel 3: The emergency broadcast alert to the public comes in the middle of Cap’n Delta’s Cartoon Steamboat show. He dutifully reads the instructions to seek higher ground, not realizing in his panic that he is speaking into his shoe!

Tomorrow: Will the ensuing deluge leave Andrew without anything to burn?? Stay tuned!!
Pseydtonne
January 31st, 2008 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

FW – No one has mentioned that this pun is almost as old as the comic. It was a song on Martin Mull’s 1978 album Sex and Violins.

Oh, and I’m cross-dominant (left eyed, right handed), which is supposed to be useful for a baseball batter (easier to eye the pitcher). There is a movie where they’re trying to teach Nicholas Cage to switch eye dominance so he can use his non-dominant right eye to target things. All I could think was “make the eyepiece move!” I can’t think of a government contractor that would not have come across this problem.
DAS
January 31st, 2008 at 2:56 pm [Reply]

Oh, and I’m cross-dominant (left eyed, right handed), which is supposed to be useful for a baseball batter (easier to eye the pitcher).

So am I, but I find, because of my cross-dominance, that it is sometimes easier for me to just bat left-handed anyway because it is easier to handle the visual-motor coordination that way.

To some degree, I pretty much do everything left handed, except I can’t write for beans (or do certain other, similar fine motor tasks) with my left hand.

My brother is an obligate left-hander … however, as soon as he learned that “in the old days people tried to make left handers into right handers”, he concluded that since it was possible for him to do so, he would train himself to write, etc., with his right hand — just in case his left hand ever got broken or something.
Bootsy
January 31st, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

#217, Girl Reporter, when you consider that the Catholic Church has cannonized more people with weird names and they accept weird variations on saints’ names too. My sister’s name is Lynn. No saints named Lynn, but my mom told the priest it was a variation of Linus, who was an actual saint before he became a blanket-carrying Peanuts kid. Girl got baptized OK.

You should have seen the list we had in our office last year for our Name the New Pope Contest. You had to pick your favorite from the list of actual former pope’s names or use a real saint’s name.

I picked Hilarius, a real former pope name.

It didn’t win. Stupid old Benedict!
AppleGirl
January 31st, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

MW – Affect Advertising: I think I read somewhere that they came up with “Head On! Apply directly to the forehead! Head On! Apply directly to the forehead! Head On! Apply directly to the forehead!”
Little Guy
January 31st, 2008 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

Phantom: I like their matching outfits. It enhances the bobbiage with the shinyness.

TDiET: Scaduto is going out like Barbaro. Yesterday, it was Police Brutality. Today, he knew an iPod was a small electronic device, not sure if you can watch videos on them. GWTW, however, is one of those big-screen movies of yesteryear. Good eye.
gh
January 31st, 2008 at 3:24 pm [Reply]

#223 AppleGirl –

Didn’t they do that insurance one with the duck?

Affect!

Sorry about the cold too.
Bunnë
January 31st, 2008 at 3:28 pm [Reply]

220, 221… hey, I’m cross-dominant, too! It didn’t help me in Little League.

We should have a cross-dominance party!

(Sounds dirty)
Girl Reporter
January 31st, 2008 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

Bootsy: Hilarius is the patron saint of exposed brick walls, tall three-legged wooden stools and jacket sleeves pushed halfway up the forearms. Oh, and those neckties that look like fish.
Lt. Deena, of the Jungle Patrol
January 31st, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

Bootsy,

Do you work for the RCC in some way? ‘Cause that doesn’t seem like a *typical* office pool ;)
Bootsy
January 31st, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

My fave is St. Dymphna, patron saint of the mentally ill.
Bootsy
January 31st, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

Deena, I do admit it reluctantly. We’re a pretty irreverent group.

Girl Reporter, sounds like Hilarius must’ve been the patron saint of Miaim Vice.
Bootsy
January 31st, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

Goddammit, me! Preview!
Buck Ripsnort
January 31st, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

I’m just beating off a cold, too. Sorry if I’m the one who gave it to Applegirl.
Luann:How the hell old is Brad? Most boys get over the crippling fear of girls around high school– my impression was Brad was at least college-age.
FWYou know you’re a Batiuk character if even a Happy Ending doesn’t relax you. And when the hell did Harry turn into Crankshaft?
AhClem
January 31st, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

SM – I’m trying to figure out the mechanics of what’s going on here. The car is traveling at, say, 60 MPH. The front wheels are turning at a rate that matches that speed. As soon as the front wheels hit that ramp, the car is going to suddenly lurch forward, trying to reach 60 MPH relative to the truck (assuming it’s a front-wheel drive car). It will crash through the front end of the truck before the driver can apply the brakes, giving the truck driver a massive impact headache.

Of course, this is the Spiderverse, where a spider bite can give a person superhuman powers and cause him to watch television 23 hours a day. Maybe the laws of physics don’t apply there either.
Girl Reporter
January 31st, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

Just got back from noodling on a patron saint website. Learned that St. Vitus is the patron saint of comedians. Laughed, because that’s the name of the church where Mr. Girl Reporter attended school and where we later married. I got nothing but blank looks there whenever I tried to make the joke that his school probably had fantastic dances, so I just stopped trying.
nerowolfgal
January 31st, 2008 at 3:53 pm [Reply]

JP I love how the dutiful legless son is STILL not going anywhere near his dying mother. He would rather sit for hours in the park feeding pigeons, after volunteering to work long hours for no pay. Anything so he doesn’t have to spend time with mom, let alone DO anything for her.

Nearly-dead Mom, sure you can do the dishes, cook the meals, do the laundry, and when you feel that last gasp coming, get yourself out to the curb with the trash. No need to put your son to any bother!
Desoto
January 31st, 2008 at 4:15 pm [Reply]

9CL, FBOFW, Luann: Only in the comics can one find such an abundance of virgins.
Zaq
January 31st, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

Today’s A3G features the characters in roughly the same spots in all three panels. I’ve been able to follow the progression of the plot of Gil Thorp all this week (not the action, of course, but the overarching plot). Mary Worth hasn’t featured platitudes in a while (ridiculous scenarios, hilarious art, and stilted writing, but no platitudes). Today’s Spider-Man features something that might actually be called supervillain action that ISN’T featured on TV.

I don’t know what to believe anymore.
Bootsy
January 31st, 2008 at 4:20 pm [Reply]

Girl Reporter, you kid me. They didn’t get the St. Vitus’ Dance reference? For shame.

You should be here where da Cat’lics have a sense of humor. Hell, they invented Mardi Gras!
Mr. O’Malley
January 31st, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

217. Girl Reporter. It cannot be true that the Catholic Church has always required children to be named after saints.

Let’s pick a saint with a unique name—St. Wulfhilda. St. Wulfhilda was born into a Catholic society, i.e., Saxon England. Since she is the only St. Wulfhilda, at the time of her baptism there was no saint by that name.

In Ireland, it is true that some Irish names have traditional equivalences to other names, e.g., Tadhg is supposed to be equivalent to Timothy. But other commonly used names such as Niall are not saint’s names. (I’m using the list at http://www.catholic.org)

At this site that exact question is asked, with the answer The current Code of Canon Law says, “Parents, sponsors, and the pastor are to take care that a name is not given (to a child being baptized) which is foreign to Christian sentiment.”

So naming children after saints may be a policy decision at some level to ensure this, but it’s not a requirement.

I notice that there is a “St. Nun who feigned madness”.
commodorejohn
January 31st, 2008 at 4:46 pm [Reply]

9CL – Now I’m trying to figure out what it was she called her.

A3G – “No, no, I’ve been here since last night. Don’t you remember?”

BB – Because you’re already a caricature, dude.

DT – I’m sorry, Dick Tracy, but I really can’t bring myself to care, since it’s all going to drag on until it’s no longer interesting anyway.

FC – Billy killed a child during musical chairs.

GA – Guest-stripped by Tom Batiuk.

Luann – Brad cannot handle human sexuality.

MT – Yeah, it sure is hard to figure out why the plane that missed a shot at you is now coming down closer to you, isn’t it, Mark?

MW – God, everybody in this strip talks in Chicken Soup For The Soul-speak.

Popeye – And our hero is brought to his knees by his complete inability to put a can of Spaghetti-Os in a pot and stick it on the stove.

SM – That has to be the world’s smallest armored car.
Sans Sense
January 31st, 2008 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

Andy, watch out! There’s the plane that shot our boat! It’s obvious it hates boats, let’s get out!
Sans Sense
January 31st, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

241. Me -

Apologies to Steve Martin.
Girl Reporter
January 31st, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

I must have had St. Nun for 8th grade theology.

What do you suppose would be considered a name foreign to Christian sentiment?
Little A.
January 31st, 2008 at 5:07 pm [Reply]

Luann: It just occurred to me that Brad resembles Sluggo Smith, but with a little more hair, and with a lot less romantic panache. At least Sluggo had Nancy chasing after him most of the time, when she wasn’t obsessing about food, ice cream and candy.
(parenthetically)
January 31st, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

gasoline alley:

you could conflate the dialogue in all three panels, have it come from the mouth of a flannel-wearing, lunchpail-toting rhino, and label it “plugger retirement plan”.
Paperback Rifler
January 31st, 2008 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

243. “Satan”?
Sans Sense
January 31st, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

Toni, will you go out with ME? I mean really. I know she’s just a cartoon but I have so much more to offer than Brad, for crying out loud.
Girl Reporter
January 31st, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

Oh, and Mr. O’Malley, regarding the chicken/egg thing on the saint name requirement, I’ll use my 8th grade theology teacher St. Nun’s fallback whenever we backed her into a corner with logic: “It’s a matter of faith, dear”.
dale
January 31st, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

GilThorp
I know the “not alarming” jokes have been done. When I first saw the picture, I couldn’t help but think – the fire chief has his own lion tamer hat.
cheech wizard
January 31st, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

223/ Applegirl: I’ve heard the Head On people are going to start promoting their new hemorrhoid remedy soon.
cheech wizard
January 31st, 2008 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

BTW, what kind of sorry-ass request is “will you go out with me?” Not even a dork with the thick glasses, highwater pants and pocket protector is going to try that one. How about “Hey Toni, what’cha doin’ after work Friday?” or “How’d you like to catch a movie this weekend?” Even “Howze about yoze gimme a blow job in dis here dumpster” is more likely to succeed. “Will you go out with me?” just sounds needy, insecure and pathetic. And “no.”
Mr. O’Malley
January 31st, 2008 at 5:40 pm [Reply]

248. I suppose inadmissable names would be those that reference other religions like “Thor” or “Krishna”. Except there’s a St. Thorfinn.

I remember hearing a call-in show on a Christian radio station where someone asked about some contradiction in the Bible, perhaps it was whether Noah took 2 or 7 of each animal. The caller was worried because it called the inerrancy of the Bible into doubt. The reply he got was “I know there’s an explanation because I heard it in Bible College, but I can’t remember what it was.” The caller seemed very relieved.

So that’s how the Protestants do it.
Jungle Mountain Mama
January 31st, 2008 at 5:50 pm [Reply]

Against Christian sentiments? So, no naming a kid after a sin or sinful person? Is that why there aren’t any Jezebels running around these days? Or Delilahs? Or Veras?
bats, Avian Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
January 31st, 2008 at 5:59 pm [Reply]

Noah was commanded to take two of every unclean animal and seven of every clean animal into the ark. Having more clean animals might’ve been a nod to ensure having proper animals sacrifices for God, or perhaps a source of barbeque items after the ark had landed.

While checking this out on the Internet (where you can find many fascinating things), I am reassured that bats are Not On the Menu.
UncleJeff
January 31st, 2008 at 6:00 pm [Reply]

#243 — Osama? Or Michael Moore.
Stranger...
January 31st, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

Don’t know if anyone else reads The Duplex, but today’s was shockingly prescient:
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 31st, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

I’m going to call my second child “Baal”.
Anonymous
January 31st, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

#243 Girl Reporter – I remember in the late 1960’s, a family in our building where the wife was from Germany and she had converted to Catholicism when she married. Well, when they had their first son, she wanted to name the baby after her father, Lothar, and the parish priest said no, because that was a variation of Luther.

There was also a set of Puerto Rican twins in the neighborhood called Adan and Eva (Adam and Eve) and as far as I know, the originals never made sainthood. My friends and I thought the names were pretty funny, but Adan was a tough guy and so we didn’t risk it out loud.
Gabacho
January 31st, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

^^Sorry that was me^^
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 31st, 2008 at 6:20 pm [Reply]

Atom Egoyan, the film director, is from my hometown, and his sister’s name is Eve.
Gold-Digging Nanny
January 31st, 2008 at 6:45 pm [Reply]

Six Differences with the Gold-Digging Nanny

Sunday’s SFx can’t get its anachronisms straight:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080127&name=Slylock

1) The little cowboy in panel one is wearing a ten-gallon hat. In panel two, it’s about nine gallons and a quart.
2) The bearded man in panel one is wearing a costume celebrating his ancestry. He comes from a long line of butler frontiersmen. The bearded man in panel two is simply senile.
3) The bowler hat in panel one made a guest appearance in last week’s Judge Parker:

http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20080125&name=Judge_Parker

The bowler hat in panel two was made famous by actress Sienna Miller:

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2005/08/midsummer_fugs_.html

(Someone last week wondered if anyone still wore bowlers. Now you know.)
4) The little girl’s hair in panel one has been pulled upward in that very odd curve by a very, very tight bow. Clearly the work of Cuzzin Ruby from A3G. The little girl’s hair in panel two has no such bow, which has me worried. In fact, her hair reminds me of nothing so much as the tails of horses in parades, when you see them start to rise up. And that’s why they have to clean the streets after parades.
5) The little boy in panel two clearly does not understand that horses do not eat red hacky sacks.
6) The horse’s hooves in panel one are a coloring monkey error. The horse in panel two got a French manicure.
Buck Ripsnort
January 31st, 2008 at 7:18 pm [Reply]

What do you suppose would be considered a name foreign to Christian sentiment?
I’m pretty sure “Lucifer” is off-limits.
your father isn't mr. cohen
January 31st, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

When parents name their children Adam and Eve, it seems as though they’re trying to get them to have sex with one another. Personally, I would like to name my children “4 Eva” and “Eva.”
boojum
January 31st, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

Very late on the subject of names, but you guys DID bring it up again:

My Catholic friends, growing up, always said that ONE of a child’s names has to be a saint’s name — consequently, they all had two “regular” names, their saint’s name, and a last name. Of course, since I was raised in East Texas, this resulted in a lot of combinations like “Jerri Lynn Loraine” and “Billly Wayne Stephen.”

Years later, I wound up a Dutch Calvinist. A great friend of ours, a staunch Catholic from New York, insisted that (for our sins) we should give our children’s saints’ names as well. His most persistent suggestion, I remember, was St. John Counter-Reformation Borromeo.

We figured the kid would never be able to afford BOTH the monogramming and the therapy…

I now live in Nashville, where the alternative newspaper runs an annual contest for the best one-sentence summary of the local culture: “You’re so Nashville if…” A few years ago, my favorite submission was “You’re so Nashville if your first name is your grandfather’s last name, your last name is your grandson’s first name, and all three of you are called Bud.”
cheech wizard
January 31st, 2008 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

263 – When parents name their children Eva, it seems as though they’re trying to get them to have sex with a meglomanical vegetarian dictator with one testicle, bad hair and parental abandonment issues.
The Spectacular Jungle-Brick
January 31st, 2008 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

I don’t have any children, but I can weigh in on pet names.

Since I have had cats of my own, all my cats have been named for railroads: Pennsy (for the Pennsylvania), Miss Katy (MISSouri-Kansas-Texas), and Fe (for the Santa Fe).

I have a mental list of future railroad/cat names as well: Frisco, Burlington, Chessie, Monon, Rock (for Rock Island), Mopac, Hojack, Reading, Wabash, Athabasca, Erie, Lehigh, Soo. And if I run out of those, I can start in on names of specific trains: Hiawatha, Sunset, Hawkeye, Zephyr, Chief…
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 31st, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

For a second, I was like, “Juan Peron had only one testicle?” But then I realized, oh yeah, another far more infamous world leader.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
January 31st, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

I’m sure the name “Adolf” dropped in popularity after the 1930’s. Not to compare the two or anything, but I remember reading that the name “Monica” dropped in popularity in 1998.
Poteet
January 31st, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

# 217 — Girl Reporter, thanks for the reminder. My real middle name, which seldom gets an airing, is Anne. Saint Anne, of course was Mary’s mother, and the only children I have are cats. So much for emulating HER. On the other hand, when I chose my confirmation name, I picked Francis because I liked nature, and while I don’t shake hands with wolves or write paeons to the sun, I’ve remained a nature fanatic. I’m grateful I wasn’t named after a saint who was grilled alive, had her eyes plucked out, had to grow a new set of breasts, was shot by lots of arrows, etc.
Poteet
January 31st, 2008 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

# 266 — Jungle-Brick, I like your cat names. My only cat name rule is that each cat name has to have an “o” in it. (I make no claims to sanity when it comes to my cats.)
Shermy Glamrocker
January 31st, 2008 at 8:53 pm [Reply]

“Cross-dominance”
Suddenly, the behavior of the nuns at Christ the King Catholic School makes more sense.
brb
January 31st, 2008 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

#233 AhClem: I have a friend who is a college professor, and several years ago when he was teaching physics he was approached after class by a student with a question. Expecting something related to that day’s lecture, he instead was asked the question you posed, only in terms of the TV show “Knight Rider”.

Unfortunately, I don’t remember the answer.
Jnoble
January 31st, 2008 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

Wow, thank God I’m not the only one who thought that yesterday’s “LOVE IS” was strangly dark. Maybe we can hope that it’s the last one now that Naked Happy Guy is dead and buried and his anatomically-missing wife/girlfriend/fuck buddy/whatever is grieving over his freshly planted corpse.
Jamus Of The Jungle Patrol
January 31st, 2008 at 9:41 pm [Reply]

1/31
Okay…let’s see here..
9CL: Now…i’m supposed to believe that a woman who wears leopard skin panties is trying to sell her daughter on “saving her maidenhood for marriage”? You know, I bought the thing about the virgin birth because it got me some sweet swag at Xmas, but this is a bit much…
Dick Tracy: Okay….Locher is SO playing with us. It’s like in physics, where particles behave according to the intents of the experimenter.
FOOB: I used to think Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” was the ultimate in breakup-revenge art, ripping on James Taylor in a Top Ten hit, and having Mick Jagger sing backup vocals to boot. Lynn’s just sort of drawing things out. It’s time to move on, Lynn. Really.
My Cage: Violet’s lookin’ good….I should give her a call…
Mary Worth: So…Vera’s boyfriend/boss is sleeping with his sibling too?
Hasty Penguin
January 31st, 2008 at 9:59 pm [Reply]

If everybody got angry or jealous by thinking “Groan!” this world would be much easier. Of course, everything else would be subdued to. Are you in love? If you’re thinking “Fresh deodorant!” you might be, in Mary Worth’s universe.
Chemical Burn Injury
January 19th, 2010 at 5:06 am [Reply]

Wow. Thats great…

Please read the posting and discussion policies before posting. You are not required to supply an e-mail address to comment; however, doing so decreases the likelihood of your comment being flagged as spam. E-mail addresses will never be made public or seen by anyone but the site writers, who may use them to communicate with commentors.

Archives:

Comment of the week:

Main navigation:

Main content:

Burn, Brad-y, Burn

276 responses to “Burn, Brad-y, Burn”

Leave a Reply

All the cool kids…

Randomly Selected Post O’ Mystery