The Comics Curmudgeon

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Saturday quickies

Apartment 3-G, 2/16/08

Rainy day fun activity: Stage a reading of this Apartment 3-G, doing all of Alan’s lines in a comical, overblown cartoon drunk voice. Endless amusement for the whole family!

Beetle Bailey, 2/16/08

A touching and amusing domestic scene at home with the Snorkel-Baileys!

Marmaduke, 2/16/08

Marmaduke has ruled his neighborhood like an angry and vengeful god for so long that the neighbors pass the time between maulings by coming up with philosophical questions about his near-omnipotence.

Pluggers, 2/16/07

Pluggers are so wholly sedentary that if they quietly died, it would take hours for anyone to notice.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 2/16/08

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 17, 2008 at 10:48 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Barney Google & Snuffy Smith, Beetle Bailey, Marmaduke, Pluggers. |

275 responses to “Saturday quickies”

Skullturf Q. Beavispants
February 17th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

Your commentary on Snuffy Smith says it all, Josh.
Gabe
February 17th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

Indeed. Perfect.
Audient
February 17th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

Snuffy is ghostly white, regardless. But yes.
Islamorada Girl
February 17th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

3G: Alternately, you could try reading Alan’s lines as if he was a tired old drag queen, and someone else could read LuAnne’s like she was Blance Dubois. Somehow, it would all make sense. Why, you’d be off book in no time!
Kurdt
February 17th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

Here’s something kinda funny: switch the captions around for Pluggers and Marmaduke. It doesn’t make Marmaduke any funnier but Plugger’s becomes actually sorta amusing in a depressing sorta way.

Also shoe-horn the dialouge from Beetle Bailey into Apartment 3-G.

I have too much time on my hands today :)
Worm
February 17th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

I like how Alan is at one second cheering her on and saying she should get out there, and the next second pouting because he feels like she left him behind. It’s like the writers mistook drunk for rapid cycling bipolar.
Foobar
February 17th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

Yes, no colour on that poster at all.
Marlowe PI
February 17th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

I’m sure that Sunday’s “classic” FOOB is supposed to be a nostalgic cross-generational “like father, like son” counterpoint to last week’s new Sunday strip, but it’s coming across more like “I can rub your face in my blatant joke recycling, and you know what? You’ll not only keep reading, but you’ll pretty please ask for more because I own you.” Well, I for one won’t give Ms. Johnston the satisfaction!
Shermy Glamrocker
February 17th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

What we’ve learned from FOOB: What goes around, comes around, then goes around again, then comes back, then goes for another round, then, in a flashback, comes back. Repeat as necessary.

OR …

One joke = 12 strips = 11 days of not having to think of a new idea.

Well-played, Lynn. Well-played, indeed.
queek
February 17th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

man, shout-outs all over the Sunday funnies!

Bruce “God” Weber Jr is clearly mocking RMMD’s current plotline today with the “no signal” joke.

Lio, and a Mad magazine? Entirely possible that that’s a Mudgeon shout-out.

best of all, a personal shout-out in PBS for me today. I’m not worthy! but thanks anyway, Mr Pastis. :-D
Ed
February 17th, 2008 at 11:22 am [Reply]

Maybe Barney Google’s launching into a new storyline, here. Maybe Snuffy’s decades of homemade whiskey abuse have caused extensive eye damage, leaving him with color blindness. Maybe tomorrow, he’ll start experiencing phantom smells, or a twitching eye, or severe slurring. By next week, maybe he’ll be slumped over his still, one hand nervelessly submerged in boiling alcohol while his goddamn hat catches fire.
Carly
February 17th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

More nonsensically colored panels, mule!
Whippersnapper
February 17th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

MW: Mary is going to suggest that Drew go for a nice bike ride while he utters innumerable platitudes to himself. Then Drew will find a dog, which he will take home and start to like and we will officially be plunged into a never-ending Mary Worth Spiral of Hell.
John C Fremont
February 17th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

# 11 – If only!

Hey, that Plugger has a digital cable box for his old analog TV. Crap, I’m still a Plugger!

Around 3:00 this morning I was wide awake with a long, detailed dissertation running through my head about the concept of “Chekov’s Brownies,” which led eventually to the concepts of “Chekov’s Skin Tight Daisy Dukes” and “Chekov’s Neddy-Trying-On-Sexy-Outfits-Before-Going-To-Paris-Which-Only-Took-Place-3-Weeks-Ago-In-Comic-Strip-Time.” The problem was, the dissertation wasn’t funny, just angry. I guess this is just my way of sharing my insomnia with the rest of the class.

How about that Marmaduke, huh?
Rizbon
February 17th, 2008 at 11:46 am [Reply]

I like how Beetle delivers his lame punchline to an imaginary audience somewhere behind him in the bathroom. “Oooohh, BURN! That’s right, folks! I’ll be here all week!”
Tom M
February 17th, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

Well, I don’t know about the comics, but I have a sudden urge to meet Christian singles in my city.
Framling
February 17th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

A3G: I had no idea the art world was so closely linked to prostitution.
Ron Hogan
February 17th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

Who exactly is Beetle shouting to when he turns his head in the second panel? Did one of the other soldiers dare him to make fun of Sarge’s BO, and he’s making sure they hear the punchline? Has he installed hidden cameras for a YouTube version of “Humor in Uniform”? Or is he simply pre-turning his head for the right hook he knows is coming next?
Lolsworth
February 17th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

They’re not even sublimating the homoeroticism in Beetle Bailey anymore. I choose to take this as progress.
Calico
February 17th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

Alan Lange is a Lynyrd Skynyrd fan, obviously.
And a really, really drunk one at that.
Weaselboy
February 17th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

If any backwoods hick referred in any way to his “standing in the world,” I’d give him a dollar.
Calico
February 17th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

Um, Snuff ol’ man, yer hat is still blue in that thar poster. Are yew color blind?
kubiak
February 17th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Are you really a Plugger if you own a self-winding watch?

Ooh! I think Snuffy colored in his own wanted poster with a blue marker/crayon he keeps in his ill-fitting overalls!

Can I get a No-Prize?
huntingbyrd
February 17th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

And the sad thing is it doesn’t even look like the Sarge is putting on deodorant. Its just sort of floating……And why is beatle wandering around in his sarges bathroom?! Are they gay?
Rainbird
February 17th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

8 Marlowe PI I remember the first time the Sunday FOOB ran, and I enjoyed it at the time. Now, it looks as though stuff was left out. I don’t feel like looking through my old Foob books to see if that is so, but I so agree with you on recycling.

When I read last Sunday’s I thought, oh, like her earlier one.

Actually, come to think of it, she had one with April in it doing the same thing, when playing with her bunny.

The woman rips-off herself, and which is fine, but not to shove it in our faces. She must have know which order the strips were running.
Baka Gaijin
February 17th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

#251 Gabacho yesterthread: No, you’re still a step above Ted Forth. After all, you can hold a pickle jar without snapping off your wrists.
huntingbyrd
February 17th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

BAHAHAHAHA it looks like the souls are coming out of their mouths in GT!..oh wait that was yesterday sorry
Hank
February 17th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

RE: RMMDHey, waitaminnit. When Nikki made the cell phone call the sun was coming up. When Lee first found Rex it was daylight. Now it’s dark again. This is like the “Plan 9″ of comic strips.
Matt
February 17th, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

Snuffy the Surrealist– “Ceci n’est pas une Wanted Poster”.
loudlikeamouse
February 17th, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

You may see a charming domestic scene in today’s Beetle Bailey, but I see something else — note that as Bailey delivers the punchline, he has already turned his head away, too timid to face the oncoming fists of Sgt Snorkel. You see a domestic scene, I see domestic violence waiting to happen.
The Klute
February 17th, 2008 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

Looks like we all owe John Rose a debt of gratitutde. He inserted a paradox into his comic that will destroy all the robots.

Well, at least the ones that read Barney Google.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 17th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

I comment on The Lockhorns, next days The Lockhorns is featured. I comment on Snuffy Smith, the next day Snuffy Smith is featured. Neither of these is very commonly featured. I can only assume I have Ascended and possess godlike powers of… influencing… subpar comics… on a blog.

*cries*
Inspector Dim
February 17th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

I don’t know which is more frustrating, JJJ’s endless whining about how Spider Man is out to get him (as if Spidey were that competent) or Krandis’s mooning about MJ. Frankly, the only person with an ounce of sense in this whole strip is the Persuader, and he wears a green suit with an orange-and-black striped tie. I’m going to root for him to destroy the city anyway.
Rainbird
February 17th, 2008 at 12:18 pm [Reply]

13 Whippersnapper I thought Mary was going to suggest that Drew go to Vietnam to continue his father’s work, so she could make sure that she wouldn’t lose her father again.
Inspector Dim
February 17th, 2008 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

FC: By “called on,” Billy of course means “beaten within an inch of his life.” Hell, I want to beat him up, too! What an awful shirt.
Rainbird
February 17th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

28 Hank Perhaps RMMD is taking lessons from Dick Tracy, not with the reusing strips over and over, but with the not knowing what time of day it is.

Perhaps that is what FOOB is doing. Trying to be more like Dick Tracy, in the reusing comic strips bit.
Sarah in OR
February 17th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

Right. Snuffy Smith is really freaking annoying, today. My brain hurts. Er, yesterday, even.

I like the Meaning of Lila – I can relate as a frequently single, momentarily unemployed 20-something :p.
Lindsey ^_^
February 17th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

I know this might sound silly, but I almost let out a blood-curdling scream when I saw the last panel of today’s Mary Worth. Something about it is terrifying. Oh, and Jeff’s look in the second panel is hilarious. “I am sorry you got dumped, and I will show it on my face in an exaggerated manner! Poor Drewey!”
Calico
February 17th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

#35 – Like at the “Public” schools for boys in the UK, Billy had to stand on a table while the older boys threw dinner rolls at him. And maybe a few softballs or cricket balls. Which is not a bad thing whatsoever when it comes to this melon-esque cretin.

#25 – Oh wow, you may have created the spark for another awesome True Fable FOOB Rant®. I can hardly wait. Heh.
Just_human
February 17th, 2008 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

I’m glad Foob went “classic”. I haven’t read it in months (I used to be 100% hooked.. couldn’t skip a single day.)
Inspector Dim
February 17th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

Today’s Mark Trail is actually pretty interesting. It’s all about bromeliads, and the art is quite nice. However, the entire thing is ruining by a teeny Mark Trail in a pink shirt (and what looks like either an apron or binoculars) popping up in the fourth panel.

Lesson: Nature is more interesting without Mark Trail in it.
Calico
February 17th, 2008 at 12:39 pm [Reply]

#41 – Yes, that is some badass fuchsia!
Rainbird
February 17th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

41 Inspector Dim Silly me, I skipped Mark Trail today because I knew it wouldn’t have any bear maligns until Monday. Little did I know I would learn about air plants.
El Santo
February 17th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

You think Snuffy Smith gives us headaches; I’m imagining the hissy fit John Rose must’ve gone through when he saw the finished prints from the colorists.
Poewar
February 17th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

Don’t worry Beetle, Sarge has a two-ton stick and it’s all for you.
Canaduck
February 17th, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

It looks to me like Marmaduke has been hit by a meteor and is trapped in the crater it left. I prefer that interpretation.
John C Fremont
February 17th, 2008 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

# 41 – Inspector, that pink-shirted Mark Trail panel works better if you look at it as being the top half of the panel immediately below it. That makes it look as though a tiny Mark Trail is popping out of a tree trunk or, better yet, being shot out of a cannon. In a pink shirt, of course.
treedweller
February 17th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

Pluggers can’t afford nice, new things, so they keep using their old ones even after they are broken. That watch is accurate twice a day, which is probably more than can be said of the dog-man.
mrmmosh
February 17th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

I think we’re all being a little hard on ol’ Snuffy Smith. Sure, there’s color on the poster, but I think it’s the gag! Snuffy’s an old hick whose pasttimes are shooting and drinking, and what does he drink? Moonshine, which could probably be likened unto rocket fuel.

What I’m sayin is the guy probably has cataracts the size of baby’s fists.
ltrftp Hedly
February 17th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

32
One-eyed Wolfdog

Don’t worry! How do you think Josh got started?
J.Noble
February 17th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

BB: When did Sarge get the ability to spin his head around all “Exorcist”-like?
Jen
February 17th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

Two Sundays in a row, same lame Foob joke.
Fred P.
February 17th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

Well, at least Snuffy is wanted by someone.

Sniff.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 17th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

Great reaction on Snuffy.

2/17

Garfield: Okay, Jim Davis didn’t really aim high here. But I’ll admit he hit his target.

9CL: Thorax did something funny today. But he will pay for it. Oh yes.

RMMBLA: The starfish abides. What the hell does this kid put in his hair? Crazy glue?

BC: Congratulations, but you were still funnier as parade floats.

H&J: This is gonna be the bitchiest Black History Month ever.

H&L: That’s not George Washington. It’s an impersonator at a President’s Day sale.

PBS: Someone’s fuzzy on the distinction between “fishing” and “phishing.”

Hateeachothers: Leroy cleans out the closet, and these two California lawyers fall out. “Don’t tell Abbey, I beg you.”

SFx: No signal? Is Weber snarking on Rex Morgan now?

OBH: The truth comes out.

Brewster Rockit: Funny funny stuff. Mel’s a terrific character.

Baldo: He’s making the noises they won’t let him make at work.

BB: Sarge can’t find Beetle’s good side without pulling his pants down.

Marvin: Oh yeah-h-h-h! The urge to potty train him to the moon!
Sheilagh
February 17th, 2008 at 1:32 pm [Reply]

I can’t believe Rex just stayed put at the bottom of that silly little cliff of his. Didn’t make tracks in case the baddies caught up… didn’t try to find a way around the vertical part and rejoin Starfish Boy… just stood there like a stump. And now they’re going to shoot him, whee! I wish.
Mooncattie
February 17th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

MW – A dashing young single (and obviously RICH) doctor from California hitting the slopes of St. Moritz, or taking his place at the Captain’s table on a Caribbean cruise….Drew would get over Vera in a real hurry. Old Mare senses this immediately, and must act fast to scuttle a potentially happy ending for Drew. Meddle Mode ON!
MrP
February 17th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

Not only is Beetle turning his head away, he’s in full-on The Exorcist mode. I just tried turning my head that far around, and it freakin’ hurt. Though I guess after years of being beat into a barely-recognisable-as-human pulp by Sarge, Beetle should be able to effortlessly bend himself around until he can fit in a smallish box, by now.
ThankYorForTakingMyCall
February 17th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

OK, I can’t wait for the Sunday comics to be posted. Today’s Foxtrot just made me laugh out loud.
True Fable
February 17th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Hey, let’s just talk about wasting comic space! Yeah, I’m looking at YOU, LYNNIE BABY JOHNSTON!

What, you didn’t think we GOT THE JOKE last week? Sure it came in LAME and LIMP and PRACTICALLY BLEEDING, but we got it. Dee is too stupid to realize her kids take after their Unnaturally Weird Dad. She should have had him fill out a substantially detailed questionnaire before she agreed to marry/ cohabitate/ be his offspring’s incubator. She would have realized the Delicate Genius has a photographic memory for where he put TACKS as a child, as well as know he used to stretch his socks (and mittens?) out of shape for the hell of it. No no no Dee, don’t put the mittens in the washer and dryer so they will go back into shape. That takes all the HUMOR out of the gag, see? GAG! Oh, that was funny, maybe next week Lynn will talk about Liz and Anthony, but not right now. Ssh.

This Sunday’s panel is JUST like last week’s, only this week we’ve had Mike the Insufferable Brat piled on us like so many layers of compost. Only instead of getting the benefits of compost, NOTHING has changed, altered, decomposed to break down and improve in the slightest. It has DEVOLVED into some sort of MINDFUCK where Lynn is saying, Remember last week when Fable wasn’t so annoyed by my seemingly placid and relatively harmless strip? Well that just won’t do, I need to PISS HIM OFF by running a whole WEEK’S worth of old strip, and then top it off with an old Sunday strip about THE SAME DAMN THING as the one before, and have Elly look like it’s the FUCKING END OF THE WORLD that Mike stretched out a sock. Good Lord, woman! You bought him all those TOYS, what, you can’t buy him a NEW PAIR OF SOCKS?!?!

Is there some sort of switch that gets flipped on in Lynnie Johnston’s head where she goes, “You know, I haven’t flaunted my place on the top of the comics heap in a while, so I think I will create a BIG FUCKING WASTE OF COMIC SPACE this Sunday. And it will not only be a repeat, it will not only be a stupid subject, but it will be a REPEAT of a REPEATED SUBJECT! Goddammit, I’ve a fucking genius. The Genius of Corbeil. And they will pay me for all this ingenuity too. Yes, I’m a fucking genius.”
/rant

See, two can play at that game, Lynnie Baby! Only I’m not a fucking genius, I’m a genius fucker. Remember that, Lynnie Baby. Remember this too: The Fable is NOT FOR YOU! Suffer, bitch!

Truman A. Fable
Genius at Werk
Alfred E. Neuman
February 17th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

I was at first ecstatic when I saw Sunday’s Lio, featuring a salute to the greatest magazine ever published. Then I noticed that I was not on the cover! It was bad enough being rejected by the Jungle Patrol. Does Tatulli know something that I don’t? I’d hate to think that I was going to end up doing bit parts in Judge Parker and Mary Worth for a living. For the first time, I’m beginning to worry.
True Fable
February 17th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

#39 Calico – #59 is because you send me, baby. You really send me! ;-)
Poteet
February 17th, 2008 at 2:01 pm [Reply]

Foob — I’m actually a little worried about what’s going on at Fort Foob. The same gag two Sundays in a row — are they going shack-whacky up there?

And for the Foob masochists among us, allow me to recommend the Foob home page with John’s birthday celebration for a pick-the-weirdest-head contest. I was torn between Meredith and the dog, but because of the neck, I think the dog wins.
True Fable
February 17th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

#62 Poteet, my queen!
Let me guess – was John’s birthday celebration one with his head on a plate? Just asking!

A LITTLE worried? Oh my liege, they have gone beyond the boundaries of mere worry. What really gets me is that they just came back from vacation. Were they too busy unpacking for someone not to say, “Do you realize we are repeating a repeat repeat this Sunday?” Or did they shrug and say “so what, it doesn’t matter what we send because no one stands in front of a Juggernaut!”

(I’m Juggernaut, bitch! — this is just to see if y’all are on your Youtube toes!)

If I go to the Foobsite now when my really caustic snark is running high, I might send something regrettable to the old girl, like actually tell her to suffer bitch or something like that, so I’d best not chance it. I’ll save looking at the site for a while. I’ll give it a day. Or a couple of hours. Or not. heh. >:D
Islamorada Girl
February 17th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

Clearly. Mary Worth is gearing up for her Greatest Meddle. Ever.
Only trouble is, we’ll have to sit through a week of platitudes before she sends Drew off to Viet Nam to do Good Works.
Clumpy
February 17th, 2008 at 2:21 pm [Reply]

Further proving that even the Colour-Bots who bless Snuffy Smith with the gift of hue don’t even read the stupid thing.
Dr. Mabuse
February 17th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

FBOFW – so what will we be getting next Sunday? Elly loading up her bra with potatoes and then swinging it in the backyard?
Red Greenback
February 17th, 2008 at 2:27 pm [Reply]

Truman, I didn’t think it possible, but your foobrants just get better.
And I don’t quite know what it means but, Here’s SNUFFY!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/15356105@N06/2271486639/
Inspector Dim
February 17th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

BB: “If he has a good side, it must be on the IN-side!” This after peering speculatively at Beetle’s ass.

This stuff really writes itself.
Harold
February 17th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

“Drew, those things may be only temporary fixes!…I have a suggestion!”

“…a very rare Mary Worth in which she has advised a friend to commit suicide…” – Comic Book Guy, The Simpsons

Alternate take:

Mary: “Yes, Drew, those are all temporary fixes! I have a suggestion, of a more permanent nature…you must KILL VERA!”
Drew’s father: “Yes, son. KILL VERA. It’s the only way.”
Painting on the wall: “Yes. Kill her. End this now. End this forever. Make her pay for your humiliation.”
Dog in park: “If you’re a man, you’ll KILL VERA!”
Commercial on the radio: “Drew, have you KILLED VERA yet?”
Chorus of voices in his head: “KILL VERA, KILL VERA, KILL VERA, KILL VERA…”
Cobra
February 17th, 2008 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

I thought Sarge and Beetle were performing some off-Broadway concept theater: “Take an almost-normal but slightly homoerotic setting, like two army guys in the communal bathroom. Give the characters some nonsensical dialog, and have them deliver it while performing choreographed head contortions. We may not sell any tickets, but the critics will love us!”

What gives with the dialog, anyway? Is BB outsourcing their humor to the Archie joke-a-matic now?
commodorejohn
February 17th, 2008 at 3:13 pm [Reply]

A3G – Yes, lovers of mediocre flower still-lifes have gathered from all over the world to applaud the supreme mediocrity of Luann Powers!

Curtis – Okay, Curtis, nice report on who Ray Billingsley endorses for the Democrat candidacy.

DT – I love how in Dick’s mind the real threat isn’t that a lunatic is kidnapping city officials; it’s that “there’s a bizarre artist out there somewhere.”

FC – I love how Billy’s shirt is positively gleaming with awfulness.

FOOB – Some jokes never get old. Others were born that way. Guess which one this is.

GA – Who is this Senator Pimp fellow, and why have we never seen him in the year I’ve been reading this strip?

JP – “I suspect Gloria has other things on her mind besides food! I’m not really sure what they are, but I almost think they’re the same things my wife has on her mind when we’re alone in the house sipping wine and staring at each other. You wouldn’t happen to have any idea what that’s all about, would you, Randy? It almost seems like she’s wanting me to do something, but she never comes out and says it.”

MW – First Drew cosplays as Bele, now Dr. Jeff does Lokai. What is it with these people? And sorry, Dr. Drew, but there is no escape. Try to leave Charterstone and you’ll wind up like poor Aldo. You thought that was an accident? No, he was pushed, my friend. Nobody, you see, crosses Mary.

Momma – Momma will not rest until she has total control of every aspect of her children’s lives.

OBH – Ruthie’s grandma looks at a porn site that displays 21 small pornographic images at once. There’s something I didn’t expect to see in the funnies.

Pickles – You know, there is a noun for “cat” in Japanese. As any random Internet geek can tell you, it’s neko. While it may certainly be true that someone in Japan did at one point refer to cats as “the tiger that eats from your hand,” I find it difficult to believe that your average Japanese person resorts to elaborate phrases where a simple two-syllable noun would suffice.

RMMD – And so, while Lee and Faith debated the merits of suicide, the cops made their way out to the site and arrested them, saving Rex from death by his own humiliating stupidity. Damn it all.

SFx – Looks like someone’s been following Rex Morgan, M.D. I don’t know exactly what Slylock and Max would’ve done in Rex and Niki’s place, but I’m reasonably sure “abandon workable hostage situation to run around in the rain hoping for a cell phone signal while failing to cripple criminals’ vehicle or confiscate criminals’ firearms” wouldn’t even be on the list of considerations.

Edison Lee – hasn’t the faintest understanding of or respect for the history of technology, being willing instead to twist it into the service of a completely un-amusing joke.
Shlomo
February 17th, 2008 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

I guess deodorant talk in Beetle Bailey is the real world equivalent to having a cigarette after sex.

A3G- Sell yourself means wearing cleavage enhancing shirts, right? If not, I don’t know what the hell Alan is trying to tell LuAnn.
Orange Doorhinge
February 17th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

Rex Morgan: It looks like “the kid” had a giant egg broken on his head.
Dingo
February 17th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

The sex, like Bellissimo’s chicken in lemon caper sauce, had again been tremendous. Ev’ry time Beetle squeezed the cheeks of his ass together, he could still feel the throbbing manhood of his lover — and sergeant — filling his very essence. The motel room on the edge of Big City may have been three income levels below dank squalor, but for the two military men it was a once-per-month palace of unbridled sodomy.

Sarge preferred Beetle’s entry facing away from him with hands firmly grasping the small desk. He loved watching as the remote control and Gideon Bible vibrated their way onto the floor as the young private’s privates forced their way inside him like a Hollywood celebutante crashing past the doorman as the latest swank club. Beetle’s cock wasn’t the biggest; that trophy belonged to Lt. Fuzz. But, it was the warm, tingly sensation of illicit passion and the knowledge that Sarge could send this man into battle that made each session as satisfying as penetration with a lubed Chippendale chair leg. Sarge’s only regret was the many times he had to physically beat Beetle in front of the other men to hide his true feelings.

It didn’t matter. Beetle loved Sarge’s brute masculinity. After the affair with Killer, he yearned for someone who could take charge – truly – and allow him to give up both control over his actions and his tiny, puckered hole. Sarge would throw him on the bed, his sinewy limbs jutting out like blossoming flowers in a LuAnn Powers painting, and then his moistened manhood would push past the thorny issue of his tight, pert rosebud and open him to the intoxicating bouquet of hot man-on-man junglefuckin’.

Both men had spent themselves. Twice. The hazy mist of morning peaked through the gnarled curtains of the room, shedding light onto the bed where the most unholy of acts had commenced bringing each man to his salvation. Sarge arose and made his way to the bathroom. As the large turd forced itself from him, he grabbed the shower railing and the sink; it was the same sensation as Beetle the night before. For twenty-eight days, this would be as close to that wonder as he could get. He’d have to eat a lot of Cookie’s food to work up a string of turds like this, even though he knew it would mean early death.

Beetle entered the room, clad only in a white t-shirt and his private’s cap. The family jewels dangled near Sarge’s face and he thought to wear them as a crown. But, alas, they needed to return to Camp Swampy and soon. Sarge stood, flushed the toilet, and reached for his deodorant.

Beetle looked at him. “Don’t you want to shower?”

“We don’t have time,” Sarge said. “It’s already 0600 and we’re due back within the hour.”

“They’re gonna smell me on you. You’re gonna get near one of the guys and they’re gonna smell ass sex. We’re gonna be in trouble. The base isn’t exactly a ‘Don’t Ask – Don’t Smell’ environment.” Beetle stared at his lover and longed to bend him over the sink and make mad, sweet love on the cold tile.

“I’ll throw on some deodorant. That’s what I usually do… when we’re done.” Sarge blushed.

Beetle gazed at him, this man, standing before him in nothing but a hat and boxers. If his love knew no bounds, what pharmacy product could mask it?

“How much deodorant do you use, anyway?” he asked.

Sarge lifted his arm. The scent of sweet passion permeated the bathroom. “As much as it takes,” he replied.

Beetle walked to him and drew the sergeant into his arms. He held him closely and kissed his neck. Their eyes met in acknowledgment of unspoken, blissful love. He touched his nose to Sarge’s nose and said, “Oh, do they make two-ton sticks? ‘Cuz it’d take a lot to hide my love.”

They kissed, first sweetly and then with a furiousness known only to newlyweds or shoppers at a Macy’s sale. Sarge broke first and looked at Beetle.

“Know the difference between an bad AWOL and an good a-hole?” he said.

Beetle stood silent.

Sarge picked up his young charge and moved toward the bedroom.

“A bad AWOL is what I’ll have tomorrow. And the other? Is in my arms today.”
Mrs. Cutout
February 17th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

Dingo–I just read your Beetle porn to Mr. Cutout. We’re both totally LOL! A salute to your amazingly sick mind!
Red Greenback
February 17th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Dingo: I agree with the Cutouts—Amazing!
monkey.dave
February 17th, 2008 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

Pluggers don’t even get up to go to the bathroom.
Jaime M.
February 17th, 2008 at 4:24 pm [Reply]

Hey guys? Um…yeah, “Garfield” made me laugh today. I’m worried. Should I see my doctor?
True Fable
February 17th, 2008 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

#78 Jaime M. – He might have you committed. I’ll save you a spot on the Group W bench just in case. :-)
Poteet
February 17th, 2008 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

# 63 — Sir Fable MTK, after such a rant, you have earned the right to put down your lance and rest for a few hours. (Allow me to offer you a little metheglin with cloves and cinnamon.) Alas, John’s head is still attached to his body chez Foobville, but there are other points of interest. For example, it appears from his ear shape and hairstyle that Mike may be turning into some kind of demented elf.
NotThatGuy
February 17th, 2008 at 4:33 pm [Reply]

FOOB: The thing I find so grindingly painful is that Lynn isn’t just phoning it in. Sure, it’s the same joke yesterday, today, tomorrow, last week, but she’s reworking those old jokes, tweaking the art here and there, making attempts to “freshen” it…and it still stinks.

Sure, the trajectory she’d plotted two years ago fell through. But it seems as if every single decision since first setting it up has been not just unfortunate, but the worst possible choice she could have made. To read it is to cringe at the very public artistic meltdown of someone who had so much, gave so much care, and is slogging onwards despite the creative ennui. It’s not bad enough to be bad, it’s just bad enough to be awful.
True Fable
February 17th, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

#80 Poteet – At your pleasure, my queen! Oooh and thankees for the metheglin! :-)

Had to look at the Foobsite – oh look, Elly’s about to prepare some Hasenpfeffer! Only it’s Elly so it will be Hasenpfeffer casserole!

Yeah, that’s all for me. I’m going to take a nap now. After all, tomorrow is Rex Rescue day, Mark Gets the Drop Day, Steve Shannon gets a CARE package from the Taliban Day, and Mary Worth Meddles Wif Yo Head day, so I need plenty of rest. No sense in wondering about Foob since it’s all CRAP anyway.
Islamorada Girl
February 17th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

Oh, lookee lookee! There’s an alleged hot Christian single guy up there! But he’s not wearing a hot, sexy wifebeater to show off his pecs, oh, no! He’s bundled up to the next in a turtleneck. On a hill, far away, stands the Old Double Standard. . .

That rips it. I’m converting to Santeria. Get me my beads, now!
Benjamin Baxter
February 17th, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

Dingo:

I should not have read your comment on a Sunday.
Lord-z
February 17th, 2008 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

I am so disappointed. At first I throught that Alan was walking towards the cameraman, as in “You got that right! You got a problem with it? You wan’t to make something off it?”. Then I saw the cameraman in the background, and realized that Alan is just forlornly shuffeling off. My high hopes for the strip has been dashed before, but never this quick. Usually it takes at least a day.
alex matthews
February 17th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

Some things I noticed: Beetle Bailey has an emo toothbrush. Snuffy Smith never does anything illegal to get on a wanted poster in the first place as far I can tell and you’re a plugger if your TV is taller than it is wide.
commodorejohn
February 17th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

So, after hearing so much about the frontpage image, and against my better judgement, I moseyed on over to the Foobsite.

Well, first off, what kind of half-assed lines are these? Did Lynn draw this and not see it looked like ass? Did the Lynnions draw it and Lynn didn’t look at it before shipping it off to the syndicate? It looks like it was outlined with a ragged old Sharpie, for God’s sake! I’ve seen better things on twelve-year-olds’ deviantArt galleries! You know what? This picture has linework of the same quality!

Anyway, aside from the “drawn on a cocktail napkin before being stock-colored in Photoshop” look the whole thing has, let’s go over the things that should not be, left to right:

There’s Poopmeister Robin, attired in the stereotypical “conductor” outfit; clearly, John is being phased out and someone has to take up the mantle of the resident trainiac. For some reason, he’s sticking his tongue under his bottom lip and pushing it out his mouth like he’s still eight months old. Well, fits his general modus operandi, I suppose.

Dee is staring in her blank-eyed Stepford-Wife way at her youngest child; one might guess that she’s supposed to be staring in slack-jawed amazement at the wonder that is the spawn of Mike Patterson. Then again, perhaps her spinal cord’s just been partially severed. It’s so hard to tell. In any case, there seems to be an inverse relationship between vertical position on a character’s body and the amount of detail drawn at that vertical position.

Mike is looking directly at me. OH GOD MAKE HIM STOP. Also he’s either sporting a Bride Of Frankenstein-inspired ‘do or he has a hanging shelf of skull on the back of his head, and his ears are inexplicably pointy. What exactly is in the water in Milborough, I wonder?

Elly is also staring directly at me, but with the cheek blush, pearl necklace (*insert Beavis & Butthead laugh here*,) and eyebags underneath her glasses, she looks so much like a senile old church-bat that I don’t feel quite as threatened as I otherwise would. I coooome to the garden alooooone, while the deeww is still on the roziz…

Butterscotch is easily the most competently-rendered character in this picture.

April is twelve years old and has apparently merged with Shan….non, and has been drawn with a thicker-tipped Sharpie than everyone else.

Meredith is creeping me the hell out. I wonder why? Let’s see if deviantArt can again provide the answer…ah, here we go. (not NSFW, but the similarities may scar your soul.)

John, despite the massive technical incompetency of the picture, is drawn in a more flattering light than most of his recent appearances. He’s looking at that cake, and he’s thinking okay, what, over thirty of these candles represent years with that harridan? It’s time for a change. I wonder what that sweet little number up the block is doing tonight? Godspeed, man.

Farley 2.0 is clearly pasted in from one of the website’s assortment of GIFs. Like the chicken wraps April had to take to school, this wasn’t good in its original appearance, and it’s rancid now. He has only slightly more neck than Olive Oyl, for one thing.

Liz is a flounder.

Yep, all in all, a pretty accurate Foobfamily portrait.
Gagott68
February 17th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Lio: The dad doesn’t have a problem with the fact that the squid has his tentacles wrapped around Lio’s nuts?
Tamex
February 17th, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

#87 commodorejohn: I think the whole thing is a Photoshop montage. It’s an artificial creation–John’s birthday party could never have existed since none of the other family members can stand to be in the same room as him anymore.
Shermy Glamrocker
February 17th, 2008 at 5:34 pm [Reply]

#66 Mabuse FBOFW – so what will we be getting next Sunday? Elly loading up her bra with potatoes and then swinging it in the backyard?

After reading this comment, I laughed out loud, I threw up in my mouth a little, and I wanted to put icepicks through my inner eyes.
dreadedcandiru2
February 17th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

#89: commodorejohn — At least it’s better than the Socialist Realism-style portrait they put up the last time Michael had a birthday. If you think having him stare right at you with his eyes that almost follow you is bad, imagine him in close up thinking about how great he is. Better yet, do yourself a favor and forget I said that.
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 17th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

Dingo – I bailed (ha!) out near the beginning of the second sentence, but I will applaud the effort on general principles.

But, for the luvvagod, don’t tell us what General Principles has been getting up to.

(I hear he’s in a cavalry division – no! shut up!)
PeterW
February 17th, 2008 at 5:46 pm [Reply]

Obviously, the comics not colored by the cartoonists are colored by a team of Koreans who are not required to know English in their position.
commodorejohn
February 17th, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

#91 dreadedcandiru2 – Drat, now I have to see that to believe it, and archive.org doesn’t save the splash images. (Funny thing: on the one archived page I viewed, there was a banner of Dee shilling for the For Better Or For Worse “family planner.” Yeah, right.)
Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
February 17th, 2008 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

Er, I usually hate it when people ruin good snark with whatever pases for logic in a particular strip, but Snuffy Smith’s daily panels run in black and white in almost all papers and……aw, the hell with it…If the choice is between logic and snark, I choose snark.
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH indeed!
Dean Booth
February 17th, 2008 at 6:17 pm [Reply]

JP: Steve Shannon, Jarhead.
Sarah in OR
February 17th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

Artist formerly known as Ben: you might like Red Meat if you haven’t seen it, before. It’s sick and twisted, but funny.
Tats
February 17th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

A3-G: That rapidly-rotating camera man is among the nimblest pros I’ve ever seen. Witness as he’s behind Alan, then in front, then behind! Or perhaps he just has some sort of Mileena-from-Mortal-Kombat-esque ability to drop down from the heavens in a place of his choosing? The world may never know.

FOOB: Well, everyone trying to trace the moment Lawrence turned gay can stop looking.

MW: Mary Worth meets Slylock Fox: Spot the differences between Dr. Drew’s slumped posture of defeat and his father’s! How many ways can Mary gore Dr. Drew with that potted plant? Kids at home: learn to draw apartment perspective! (You’ll probably do a better job!)
Sarah in OR
February 17th, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

Artist formerly known as Ben: you might like Red Meat if you haven’t seen it, before. It’s sick and twisted, but funny.

Sorry for the double post!
UncleJeff
February 17th, 2008 at 6:50 pm [Reply]

#96 — Dean Booth: LOL!!!! Ka-BOOM, indeed!
AeroSquid
February 17th, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

Snuff:

SnuffCo: “Okay, this week we need you to do something a little different.

Union Colorizer: “You know I’m on my break, right ?”

SnuffCo: “We need you to actually read the comic this time. It will show you how we want it colored.”

Union Colorizer: “All I know is I color things. Read my contract. I don’t read the comics.”

SnuffCo: “This why you were fired from GloboBeetle. Not following instructions.”

Union Colorizer: “Hey, buddy. Talk to the shop steward if you have a beef. All I do is color the not-colored parts.”
ComixLovin'Cat
February 17th, 2008 at 7:02 pm [Reply]

I just went on the Foob site and didn’t see the picture everyone is talking about. However, in case those old strips aren’t enough retro-Foobishness, they are selling old collection books, and Deanna-bot’s “pick of the month” is #17 (gads!), “Love Just Screws Everything Up.” The description made me LOL:

“…Michael and Elizabeth discover that affairs of the heart are are often more about pain than passion. Read about Liz’s earliest dates with Anthony in this book!”

Also, in today’s Curtis, we see that the title character is headed for a life in politics with his report, which didn’t have any supported facts, just his opinion, for which he expects an “A.” How did that take him and Chutney hours?

Finally, today’s 9CL was brilliant. However, Thorax, for all his touted ability to see the past and future, somehow overlooked the fact that grandma ate all of her children except for Juliette, and he’s gonna end up trussed and roasted like the oversized turkey he is. I really hope he doesn’t make it to the intergalactic escape portal in time.
Zamboni_Rodeo
February 17th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

#99, Sarah: I will gladly second your recommendation. I’ve pimped Red Meat here a few times — it’s the best thing going in comics, IMHO.
Skullturf Q. Beavispants
February 17th, 2008 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

I too enjoyed today’s 9CL. Today was the first time I’ve laughed at that strip in, like, ever.
bellamom
February 17th, 2008 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

Wait… so Alan wants LuAnn to become a prositute? Weird. Though “Pimp Daddy Alan” does have a nice ring to it.
Poteet
February 17th, 2008 at 7:45 pm [Reply]

# 102 Cat — The picture is in the middle of the home page of the Foobsite, labeled “Happy 59th, John!”

Geez, I’m more of a sadist than I’d realized.
commodorejohn
February 17th, 2008 at 7:47 pm [Reply]

#102 ComixLovin’ Cat – Here, I threw it up on ImageShack. Behold the horror.
anonymous
February 17th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

FOOB: Well, went to look at the birthday pic on the Foobsite. They all look weird, as if drawn by the “Win a Chance to Draw A Foob Panel” winner. I wonder if we’ll have to suffer through more Erma-Bombeckia from the past this week, or if we’ll ever get back to Liz and her hunky Destiny. Those two haven’t been heard from or seen in ages – if she “went home” with him, they must be sore and exhausted by now! I guess she’s gonna draw this thing out until she’s darn good n’ ready to have her romantic young zeroes walk down the aisle.(Unless we have another week of Elly cleaning, April’s angst, or Grandpaw’s slooooow decline :p ).

Snuffy Smith: I remember reading this as a CHILD, decades ago, I find it astonishing that it’s still around. I guess dwarfish hillbillies will never go out of style. Our paper dropped Prince Valiant by popular request (apparently the Dark Ages have gone out of style!) and doubled the size of the Sunday Dilbert. Which is a sometimes funny strip, but doesn’t deserve a whole quarter of a page.

Dingo, I was kind of surprised they, uh, took turns.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
February 17th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

#62 Poteet:

And for the Foob masochists among us, allow me to recommend the Foob home page with John’s birthday celebration for a pick-the-weirdest-head contest. I was torn between Meredith and the dog, but because of the neck, I think the dog wins.

Hmm… My fishwrap was late today, so I was forced onto Foob Central to see what kind of boxcar Lynn was dishing up today (I always feel so dirty when I click on “Strip Fix.”). And I saw the Montage of Milborough. I have to say that I find Mewwy’s weird head the freakiest, if only because she’s WAY young to be sporting celebrity duck lips.

Foobian sock/mitten stretching… what a cornucopia of larfs! Can’t wait until LJ trots out the classic strips with Apwil’s sock whirling schtick. Oh, how I’ll chuckle and reminisce.

#67 Red Greenback: Transcendent, man. I don’t know what it means, but my brain’s the better for seeing it.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 17th, 2008 at 7:51 pm [Reply]

Sarah and Zamboni,

It had been a while since I read Red Meat* but Max Cannon is always good for a smart laugh. This one http://www.redmeat.com/redmeat/2008-02-05/index.html had a great punchline.

*As for when I blew Blue Meat, um, I’m not ready to talk about it.
commodorejohn
February 17th, 2008 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

#108 anonymous – “Those two haven’t been heard from or seen in ages – if she “went home” with him, they must be sore and exhausted by now!”
Are you kidding? They’re probably just completing the first limp, lifeless thrust.
ComixLovin'Cat
February 17th, 2008 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

Thanks #106 Poteet and #107 commodorejohn. I didn’t realize it, but Google was taking me straight to the “strip fix” page, not the main one. Wow, April doesn’t even look like April in that picture, and the perspective is bizarre, like they’re all odd-sized cardboard cutouts of themselves lined up behind the table with the ginormous cake. The old lady chicken neck on Elly is a nice touch, though, like “just in case you haven’t realized, they’re getting OLD.”

A thought just occurred to me. Perhaps Lynn Johnston, having realized that aging her characters isn’t going to keep her from aging, is now doing flashbacks to still her own progression through time and stave off her own mortality, and the carpal tunnel (tendonitis?) thing is just an excuse. Maybe I’m thinking too much.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
February 17th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

#111 commodorejohn:

…They’re probably just completing the first limp, lifeless thrust.

As my friend’s pop used to say, like attempting to stuff a marshmallow into a piggy bank.

(sorry, folks)
CCMars
February 17th, 2008 at 8:16 pm [Reply]

Kind of late (I just got home), but it’s still Sunday here and I wanted to mention this.

Fox Trot: If there is anyone in this comic I dislike more than Jason (and I despise Jason), it’s Mrs. Fox. What, is she so afraid video games are going to melt her kids’ minds that she has to go to the black market just to get the ones she approves of? You’d think with a kid like Jason, she would embrace the idea.
Poteet
February 17th, 2008 at 8:19 pm [Reply]

# 109 Spotted H0rse — Oh. My. Deity. You have forever changed the way I look at Mewedif’s oral aperture. Quaaack!

# 112 ComixLovin’ Cat — I am touched by Google’s attempt to save you:-).
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
February 17th, 2008 at 8:24 pm [Reply]

#115 Poteet: Quaaack AAAAAH! :-(|)
heh.
Luprand
February 17th, 2008 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

So, uh … in that FOOBirthday picture, does anyone else thing Mike is turning into Sweeny Todd?

“SWEENY MIKE: the demon writer of Milborough!”
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
February 17th, 2008 at 8:26 pm [Reply]

# 112 ComixLovin’ Cat —Poteet is touched by Google’s attempt to save you. Well, Google’s motto is “don’t be evil.” Looks like they’re trying to live up to it.
True Fable
February 17th, 2008 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

#67 Red Greenback – I had to lie down after that massive squawk I made, but I’m better now and INFINITELY better after seeing your linky. For some reason my mind flashed back to Judge Reinhold’s Brad in Fast Times at Ridgemont High: “I’ve made you see God.” And I laughed again!

#69 commodorejohn – get your ass over to the Foobiverse’s Journal post haste, good sir! That is some prime snark there, brudder.

#74 Dingo – well for God’s sake, man; don’t hold back. Write down what you want to say, don’t be shy or nuthin’.
:P
XD
Charlene, Arctic Jungle Patrol Waitress
February 17th, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

Beetle Bailey slash?

*is ded*
Shlomo
February 17th, 2008 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

# 74 Dingo for COTW by himself. My only question is how come there wasn’t any mention of bestiality with Sarge’s dog?
True Fable
February 17th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

#121 Shlomo – Otto goes for da bitches.
commodorejohn
February 17th, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

#119 True Fable – Heh, thanks. I really oughta hang out there more often.
Weaselboy
February 17th, 2008 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

Anybody got a link for this FOOB portrait? I can’t find it.
commodorejohn
February 17th, 2008 at 9:17 pm [Reply]

#124 Weaselboy – It’s still up at the Foobsite, and I also put it on imageShack for posterity.
Alfred E. Neuman
February 17th, 2008 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

#124 Weaselboy
FOOB homepage: http://www.fborfw.com/
Weaselboy
February 17th, 2008 at 9:19 pm [Reply]

Thanks, commodorejohn. Damn, Mike looks pissed.
Alfred E. Neuman
February 17th, 2008 at 9:25 pm [Reply]

OK, gang, here’s a question for you.

Which one of Sunday’s cliffhanger serial strips has succeeded in creating the strongest atmosphere of suspense and dread?
A. Judge Parker: The mysterious package sent to Steve.
B. Rex Morgan: Lee about to shoot Rex, along with Rex’s unwillingness to make himself a smaller target.
C. Phantom: The Singh Brotherhood’s threat to civilization.
D. Mary Worth: Mary saying to Drew, “I have a suggestion.”
Dingo
February 17th, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

Shlomo #121: Since I am the essence of purity and virtue incarnate®, I could never bring myself to imagine that scenario. Plus, as True Fable has alluded, I believe that Otto goes for d’bitches.
Shlomo
February 17th, 2008 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

128- D. Mary’s suggestion is going to involve another moronic plot with Drew that is going to waste another month of our lives.
Islamorada Girl
February 17th, 2008 at 9:34 pm [Reply]

Oh, how I hate you, Mike, you most FOOBy of FOOBS. I hope some dyspeptic old queen at the NYTBR swallows your pitiful “novel” whole, then spits it back at you in tiny, bitter pieces of review that destroy any illusions you ever had of a career.
Dingo
February 17th, 2008 at 9:43 pm [Reply]

S’meddlin’ Wonderful
with apologies to Oscar Hammerstein

This is a woman who meddles to win,
Though it’s not always wise.
This is a woman who knows no chagrin,
That’s why some her despise.

This is a woman who never forgives,
And she’ll meddle with you, as long as you live…

She will at your behest
Offer to help, suggest
And though you might protest
She’s meddlin’ wonderful.

She has a thousand schemes
You’ll come to rue
Yes, some might die, but she’ll still pry
It’s just enough to do.

You’re forced to go along,
In cameltoe sarong,
Best to be in her throng!
Meddlin’ wonderful

She doesn’t need your love
Swans watching from above
But a lubed doctor’s glove
She feels wonderful!

She’ll always in pursuit
No man, smooth or hirsute
Can vex her. Evil root!
She is
Meddlin’
Wonderful.
Anna Nimity (Not the Christian Singles Girl)
February 17th, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

Mike has taken a combination of amphetamines and psychotropics in order to tolerate his bratty children and controlling mother. Take a look at those eyes.

And what is this Happy 59th Birthday John thing about anyway? Some backhanded attempt to be generous to her lying, cheating, dump-her-for-a-younger woman dickhead of a husband?

Maybe that’s why the drawing is so bad. “Here’s a card for you honey! Ha ha! Everyone looks psychotic! Happy Birthday, Dirtbag!”
mollificent
February 17th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

Now, Dingo, you really ought to leave at least one or two COTW runner-up slots open for us regular schmoes. ;) Well done on all counts!
Alfred E. Neuman
February 17th, 2008 at 9:53 pm [Reply]

#130 Shlomo— I agree. That is definitely a dread-producing scenario.
It will also be interesting to see how long it takes Steve to open the box. I predict at least a week. Then it probably will be just a box of socks from his wacky Aunt Tillie—just what he needs.
Rainbird
February 17th, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

82 True Fable Yes, on Judge Parker. I thought, oh, letter bomb, when she said there was a package as well.

Boy, those darn Taliban, going after poor old Steve. Hasn’t he lost enough limbs?
Rainbird
February 17th, 2008 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

83 Islamorada Girl I saw that too.

What I wonder about, is how do they know your religion, as it says that Christians join for free. What, they charge for other religions?
lesles
February 17th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

#128 Alfred E. Neuman – definitely D. has a sort of armageddon-like ring to it. i wouldn’t be at all surprised if the last trumpet sounds like mary worth’s dulcet tones. at least to us unsaveable heathens.
lesles
February 17th, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

JP: the package is steve’s legs. the old ones. the parkerstanian taliban are continuing their modern personalised terrorism service with customised individual taunting.
Rockets Redglare
February 17th, 2008 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

while i understand your “aarrghhhh”, i suggest giving that snuffy a second look.

i would argue that it is funnier as it is.

not ‘funny’, necessarily, but certainly ‘funnier’.
Rainbird
February 17th, 2008 at 10:41 pm [Reply]

Alfred E. Neuman 135

Or perhaps the package for Steve just has brownies in it.

And we will get back to that plot.
Charlene, Arctic Jungle Patrol Waitress
February 17th, 2008 at 10:49 pm [Reply]

I never get the Christian singles ad. I always get “the American debt disaster” or “support artists”.
dyslexic dog
February 17th, 2008 at 11:46 pm [Reply]

#142 – Charlene, AJPW:

Christiana McSingle would surely turn me into an American debt disaster, but oh baby, she certainly has a magnificent set of “support artists.”
Citric
February 17th, 2008 at 11:56 pm [Reply]

Snuffy might have some sort of eye disease that is making him slowly color blind. Or else it’s a side effect of all the drugs they take in Snuffy Smith land, which leads to their permanent freaky gigantic smiles.
Agnostic Married Woman
February 17th, 2008 at 11:58 pm [Reply]

I, for one, am so glad that Lynn Johnston has taken up the crusade against the sadistic and unnecessary Spinning And Disintegrative Stretching Of Knits. SADSOK destroys over 10,000,000,000 socks, mittens, hats, and other knitwear every winter. This is especially tragic when it comes to handmade items– my poor Grandma, struggling with her arthritic hands that can barely grip the needles, has just had her hard work destroyed by SADSOK after one soppy February snowball fight on the way home from the bus stop. It is now time to stop this madness! Batuik has used the power of his comic strip to stop the madness that is cancer, and we hope that with repeated mention in her comic strip, Lynn will be able to do the same for the tragedy that is SADSOK. Thank you
LTBF
February 18th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

My Saturday comics are in black and white so the wanted poster was not in color.
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
February 18th, 2008 at 12:09 am [Reply]

62. Poteet re Foobsite: I saw the happy 59th *thing*. Cripes, I do better cut ‘n’ paste with Photoshop….completely agree with all on the laziness/weirdness/lousiness of this rendering.
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
February 18th, 2008 at 12:11 am [Reply]

Oh, and in keeping with recyling the same joke, next Sunday’s Foob will show Ellie proudly swinging John’s nut-sack…

(sorry)
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
February 18th, 2008 at 12:20 am [Reply]

I’ve been out of town since Wednesday, and I find myself recommending not reading the serial comics for 4-5 days in a row, and then reading them consecutively: the angst upon angst of Dr. Drew, Manwhore, is that much more hysterical when it’s all mashed together, the excitement in RMMD almost…well, exciting, as at last Niki can use his phone while Lee discovers Rex; and Beardy MacBeard is surprised, chased and treed by a bear. Pretty cool stuff.
Foob continues to be crap.

I was in a small Arizona town the past few days, and the comic lineup in its paper ran to Zits, FC (I though fondly of you all when Billy told Jeffy, “You didn’t teach Barfy how to stay. He’s dead!”, or something like that), and about a half-dozen more zombie or lame-ass strips. It’s good to be home.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
February 18th, 2008 at 12:23 am [Reply]

So Josh: did you do your out-of-town guests quickly?
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
February 18th, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

Oh, yeah, Monday observations:

DtM: Dennis’ honest-to-gosh “looking cute” face is just farkin’ creepy. Either that, or someone needs to revoke his “menace” title once and for all…

FW: I am still in a state of denial that that fat guy is really Funky.

JP: my vote is that the package is full of Mrs. Dickens’ delightful brownie. “They asplode in your mouth, not your hand!”

MW: I shudder to think of what Mary would consider profound…

FOOB: I’m loving this. I can’t wait until Michael has a stroke and can be roommates with Grandpa Chinnuts.
(Still no sign of Lizardbreath and Asshathony…not even on Valentine’s Day…are they still in rut since New Year’s Eve?)
Tess
February 18th, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

Pluggers has got to be one of the singularly most depressing comic strips I’ve ever seen. These pluggers seem doomed to the horror of being fed high fructose corn syrup and iodized salt for every meal, working most of their life with out much to show for it, and continually having their small joys shattered by a world too busy with their own petty ends to notice their plight. What a shame….
alamo
February 18th, 2008 at 12:37 am [Reply]

148 – don’t apologize. that was classic. amen.

so-o-o-o….if ellie’s boobs sag in later years does that mean there was just too much tit-slinging in her wild youth?? maybe this is prime material for another flashback to the darker side of the foobville follies. you know the worse side of foob.

actually with the way the plot has been sagging lately just proves there has been too much shit-slinging in the strip. honestly i cannot believe i am even commenting on this crap.
dreadedcandiru2
February 18th, 2008 at 12:38 am [Reply]

2/18/2008

I just noticed something weird. A bunch of cartoonists must have gotten together to celebrate President’s Day by returnng to plotlines no one cares about. The examlples are;

1 – FBoFW: We return to the present day as Mike goes bed shopping for Meredith. Sibling revilery ensues causing the Noble Scribe to be gobsmacked. On him, it looks good.

2 – FW: We go back to Montoni’s so we can see Funky out himself as a great big jerk with more money than brains or heart.

3 – Zits: The Duncans decide to punish themselves for giving birth to Jeremy by grounding him for a month after the car incident.
LTBF
February 18th, 2008 at 12:45 am [Reply]

Lovely, a week of the Patterbrats at the furniture store.

So they are moving Robin into his own room and buying her a new bed and giving him the old one and they don’t tell them until they are leaving for the store?
dreadedcandiru2
February 18th, 2008 at 12:52 am [Reply]

#155: LTBF — Of course they don’t! They’re idiots, after all.
LTBF
February 18th, 2008 at 12:57 am [Reply]

True. I keep thinking they are normal people.
Alfred E. Neuman
February 18th, 2008 at 12:58 am [Reply]

#139 lesles & 141 Rainbird,
Creative and amusing both! Sad to say, I expect the reality of Steve’s box to be much duller. Just as well, it will give us more to snark on!
Starrynight
February 18th, 2008 at 1:11 am [Reply]

#40 Just_human- I feel the same way. Saves me time in the morning by not going to the FOOB site to check out the latest piece of rerun crap. In my opinion, only Peanuts has the right to exist in reruns.
Victoria Waterfield
February 18th, 2008 at 1:21 am [Reply]

Pluggers: Pluggers get fatter and fatter until they die.
Alfred E. Neuman
February 18th, 2008 at 1:24 am [Reply]

Mary Worth (Monday): Mary says to Drew, “What about going deeper?”
Mudges, fill in your snarkish repartee here:

e.g., “Didn’t Dad go deep enough for you?”

That was just too easy. I’m more convinced than ever that some of these strip authors have us in mind when they write this stuff.
Josh, what about “Going Deeper” as the theme for the next CC t-shirt.
Charlene, Arctic Jungle Patrol Waitress
February 18th, 2008 at 1:29 am [Reply]

Does any man want Mary Worth telling him he isn’t going deep enough?
Tats
February 18th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

I feel like Mary’s righteous hypocrisy is going to reach its pinnacle as she suggests Dr. Drew go to Cambodia to help Agent Orange victims.
Poteet
February 18th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

# 147 bats — Please. Even comparing what you do with that Foob pastiche *delicate shudder* is SO unfair to your masterworks.

2/18 RMMD — Niki, this is no time for neck exercises.

PLUGGERS — I see potential for at least two weeks of hilarity featuring Pluggers in the cardiac care unit, as their lifetimes of bad eating and couch spudding finally catch up with them. And another week of scenes in the funeral home. Ha ha!
Corkey
February 18th, 2008 at 1:32 am [Reply]

Snuffy Smith actually works if you just imagine that Snuffy is wanted for being a raving lunatic. “That’s a black and white picture! And there are dragons in it! And the the disembodied head fo Peter O’toole telling me to kill the govenor!” The whole thig makes sense if you just imagine Snuffy is wandering through the woods, ranting hysterically to himself. Come to think of it, most strips work better if you just assume everyone in them has serious mental problems.
Poteet
February 18th, 2008 at 1:43 am [Reply]

# 161 Alfred — I totally missed that until you pointed it out. Now it’s brain bleach time.
DanKirby
February 18th, 2008 at 2:12 am [Reply]

New artist on GT today.
Uncle Lumpy
February 18th, 2008 at 2:15 am [Reply]

#167 Dan –

End of an era. But we’ll always have Dick Tracy.
Cookie Monster
February 18th, 2008 at 2:17 am [Reply]

Mary Katherine Gallagher!! 0=

union jobbers…

oy

i think i need a Q-link, and a blanket J=

look up the Q-link, everybody, it may sound crackpot (it was marketed for golfers as i heard about it, for whatever that’s worth, so go figure…) but it’s a decent thptought as an investment for all us urbanites, present zen golfers & hot WWW wrestling fans/surfers.

and it’s totally bling as a disco chain necklace!

it comes in white, black, or platinum casing

supply your own superfly sunglasses, grillplates, toothbrushes etc.

the essentials of course
maybe an accesories bag or something to carry your passport
in case you gotta jet
Trilobite
February 18th, 2008 at 2:26 am [Reply]

Happy Presidents’ Day, I guess:

A3G: Just follow the smell of cheap vodka and ineffectual rage, LuAnn — it’ll lead you straight to Alan. And, hopefully, out of this comic strip.

Mary Worth: I’m with Tats @ #163 — It smells suspiciously like Mary is going to pack Drew off to Vietnam and Cambodia in order to prevent Jeff from ever going back there. Man, the depths that woman will sink to just to guarantee that someone will be around to take her to The Bum Boat every other night…

Also, what gives MARY WORTH the right to tell other people to do something that they can truly be proud of? From what I’ve seen, this is a lady whose entire life can be summed up as “I loiter around until I see other people doing something, and then I poke my nose into their business.” How about YOU go deeper for a change, Mary? (How about going six feet deeper, for example?)
BigTed
February 18th, 2008 at 2:50 am [Reply]

An “Andy Griffith Show” marathon might make your watch stop, but a “Matlock” marathon would actually make time run backward.
The Howard Report
February 18th, 2008 at 3:06 am [Reply]

A3G: Someone help me out. Are we supposed to WANT these two to get together? Alan comes off as the ultimate narcissistic douchebag.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
February 18th, 2008 at 3:24 am [Reply]

#167 DanKirby says:

New artist on GT today.

No, no, no, no! I wasn’t done with the old artist on GT! Nooooo!

DanKirby, Uncle Lumpy, how can you be so relaxed about this? It’s like the Dodgers leaving Brooklyn, dammit all.
Frank Parsnip
February 18th, 2008 at 3:25 am [Reply]

With all the opthomologically unsound Depression-era homegrown hootch that Snuffy’s been drinking, he’s probably been running around to all sorts of posters and saying the same damn thing. It’s just that he’s pointing at a “Wanted” poster of himself this time. As my grandpappy used to say, even a broken watch has the correct time twice a day.

Pluggers, do take note.

Of course, if the broken watch is a digital model that shows bits and pieces of numbers reminiscent of the Predator’s self-destruct countdown, then of course that broken-watch adage doesn’t quite work.
Frank Parsnip
February 18th, 2008 at 3:42 am [Reply]

GT: McLaughlin out, Bolle in. Whichever one of you has the better spitcurl in one week will get to keep drawing GT.

MW: Trilobite, I agree that Mary is going to maneuver this poor sap into taking over his father’s charity work in Southeast Asia. In a few years, Dr. Drew is going to come back to America with some incredible stories and some incurable sores. And he might bring back a few meters of silk in salmon pink, Mary’s favorite color.

Sex Organ, M.D.: Lee’s got some business here — if he’s going to spend the next 20 years in the pokey, he’ll at least do what he can to free Niki from Rex’s pedophilic grasp.

Spider-Man: Wait? Peter Parker can read? I was pretty confident that Peter’d be Parked right in front of a TV to get this newsflash.

Jugs Parker: A plain brown package from a young woman? Steve’d better have his mom wait in the next room… that sounds like the delivery lady from the local adult bookstore.

FC: Poor Billy is having trouble counting higher than 26 again…
Alfred E. Neuman
February 18th, 2008 at 3:43 am [Reply]

#166 Poteet— Sorry about causing the bleach job. However, someone has to go for the cheap laughs, and it might as well be me. Besides, if I hadn’t done it, some other Mudge would have.

# 74 Dingo— Speaking of obvious humor, the dialog in Monday’s Beetle Bailey features yet another homoerotic setup that you should be able to hit out of the ballpark.
benro
February 18th, 2008 at 3:48 am [Reply]

GT – It looks like the A3G artist took over!! Now Gill Thorp will be indistinguishable from Alan and Eric.
Mrs Buck Tuddrussell (Not Pirates!)
February 18th, 2008 at 4:06 am [Reply]

GT – Panic! People actually look like people! The things look like things! Nooooo!!! This is terrible. I knew the change was going to happen, but I never suspected it would go down like this. Oh man. Oh man. I think I need to breathe into a paper sack.
Frank Parsnip
February 18th, 2008 at 4:46 am [Reply]

howard report (172): At this point, I’d pay good money just to see Lu Ann forget Alan and get together with one of Margo or Tommie’s leftover generic blond men. There’s got to be one lurking around either at a hospital, an accounting firm, a theater group or perhaps China. Hell, even Blaze looks like a lot of fun compared to Alan, and based on his awful clothing choices we already know Blaze cannot possibly be gay.
Mibbitmaker
February 18th, 2008 at 5:10 am [Reply]

GT:
GIL THORP IS NOW DRAWN BY THE A3G ARTIST!!! The absurdist oddball style is GONE! Replaced by EVERY MALE in a MALE-DOMINATED STRIP LOOKING ALIKE and BLAND!! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

All I can say is, the Mads better offer apologies again, like they did with “Manos: the Hands of Fate”! I can’t BELIEVE they–

What!?

************************************

Okay, all kidding (more or less) aside… Now my paper has the entire credits for GT wrong! Really. “by Jerry Jenkins and Frank McLaughlin”? Not anymore, Bub.

Bolle is worse than Klotzky, but much better than McLaughlin. Except for us, of course.

Rubin, it’s all up to you now. Never lose the weird!
Mibbitmaker
February 18th, 2008 at 5:41 am [Reply]

GT (back on track): Yeah, right, lady — and Mary Worth doesn’t make it her life’s work to meddle in every person’s furshlugginer life, either! (back off track) I just noticed: they replaced an artist named Frank with another Frank. If this were more common, the MASH 4077th would’ve welcomed Frank Emerson Winchester III ~!

A3G: Margo: “That’s the last time I manipulate arrival time and cynically play up a goofy, fake ghost drama in the media, close to making LuAnn a laughing stock, for HER!!”

FC: Kid answer: ‘Cause stupid math is really more boring than stupid grammar stuff, y’know!

S-M: “Break a leg, honey… using a stick and a stone!”

FW: On the Pizza World peoples’ faces… could that be?……. reverse smirks???

Cranky: “That can’t be good.” You’re in a Batiuk strip, Ed! Nothing can be good!

Curtis: How many more caucuses/primaries can that guy win???

H&L: Even scarier: that makes him Edison Lee!!
John C Fremont
February 18th, 2008 at 6:18 am [Reply]

GT – Aunt Margo?!
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
February 18th, 2008 at 6:55 am [Reply]

GT: Yeah, the artist has been replaced. There goes the neighborhood. every body will walk like the law of gravity has been reinstated. This is a mistake. Part of the “charm” of t his strip was its lousy art. Now it will still have lousy art, but one of the sources of its absurdity is gone (replaced by another lousy artist of course). This is-was a grve mistake. Did the editors of this strip think the “readers” wouldn’t notice? Gil Thorpe meets AG3? One absurdity replaced by another one. Now we know where Alan went — he went out and got drunk with Marty Moon and will soon show up in the announcer’s booth with one of those microphones that look like a Nathan;s hot dog on a Popsicle stick.
Girl Reporter
February 18th, 2008 at 7:22 am [Reply]

Crankshaft: No good ever comes from diggadogging the toilet handle.
And The
February 18th, 2008 at 7:45 am [Reply]

DT: Look at Tracy’s tiny, malformed fist clenched in exertion, as he works to advance the plot. And he does so by calling the artist ‘quirky’ rather than ‘bizarre’. Whew, this strip is just flying along!

GT: Wow, that’s just disorienting in ways unlike how GT art usually disorients its viewers. BTW, it looks like A-Train is indeed raising the smaller kids all on his own! I’m so clever-clever. Unless I’m wrong, in which case ignore this and the previous thread.

A-3G: Smart, A-3G, but not quite smart enough. Skipping forward in time and simply *claiming* that Luann charmed the media does help get around the annoying fact that Luann has all the charm of a wilted sea cucumber. However, you’ve *still* got to portray her in all her dull, insipid glory next to the vivacious Margo in this strip, which utterly destroys the verisimilitude of that claim. Next time, remove Luann entirely from the strips in toto.

Crankshaft: Comeuppance on the plot rails in 5,4,3…..

MW: How about going deeper? Man, Mary! I was *joking* about sex tourism yesterday?

MT: Gads, Mark, you’re practically the Perry Mason of Lost Forest. And what happened to that angry bear?

Phantom: While it may be true, shouldn’t you be more concerned about whether they qualify more than telling your wife about this exciting news? Do you have some kind of predetermined agreement that the Jungle Patrol’s hypothetical Ladies’ Auxiliary will be Diana’s sole purview?

S-M: Believe it? Peter, that’s all this stupid, repetitive strip *ever* has JJJ doing! And you were there yesterday mugging for the camera yesterday over this same, stale-beyond-belief plot element.
LITTLE A. OF THE GRAND CONCOURSE JUNGLE PATROL
February 18th, 2008 at 7:49 am [Reply]

Christian Singles: This is a comic strip, sort of. She looks like what Blondie might have looked like a few years ago, with her hair straightened. I’m thinking of converting, the more times I see that ad. If finding Jesus means finding something like that as well — what a path to salvation!

Of course if there were an ad for Jewish singles, she’d probably be carrying a Bloomie’s shopping bag.

I know, that’s an old joke.

Back to GT, everybody.
Gagott68
February 18th, 2008 at 7:53 am [Reply]

GT: At least it appears that ridiculous hair still has a place in the Thorpian universe.

Luann: Wow, a whole story arc about the changing of a light bulb. I can’t wait.

MT: “Don’t be STUPID, Trail!”???

She’s telling Mark Trail, “Don’t be stupid!”?

She might was well as tell the fish not to swim and birds not to fly.

FOOB: Actually, compared to the little shit-bag that Michael was growing up, his spawn are almost endearing.
Calico
February 18th, 2008 at 8:11 am [Reply]

#74 Dingo.
Oh God.
Oh my freaking God.
Seriously, have you taken a stab (pun intended) at gay pulp fiction? I think there were a couple of pretty popular writers in the 80’s that one of my friends used to read-can’t remember the names, though.
Calico
February 18th, 2008 at 8:12 am [Reply]

Pluggers do their shoplifting at Wal-Mart (please no polit commentary-just thought this was funny in a Pluggery way!):
http://www.wcax.com/Global/story.asp?S=7883816&nav=menu183_2
Gregoire
February 18th, 2008 at 8:15 am [Reply]

A3G – Lu Ann’s blouse is sinking lower in each panel. is Alan tugging on it?
Allie Cat
February 18th, 2008 at 8:27 am [Reply]

FW – I’m convinced that Funky has sublimated his desire to start drinking by indulging in tubs of Crisco.

I mean, come on. I’ve been known to gain weight quickly, but every two weeks, he appears to double in size.

My theory is that by Thanksgiving, Becky and her band-rats are going to haul him up to NYC and float him over the Macy’s building for the parade.
Calico
February 18th, 2008 at 8:27 am [Reply]

#145 – the thing I dread to think, yet it keeps permeating my tattered brain cells, is, will John’s underwear be next?
Calico
February 18th, 2008 at 8:28 am [Reply]

#148. Oooopps-sorry Bats!
GMTA.
Frank Parsnip
February 18th, 2008 at 8:31 am [Reply]

mibbitmaker (181): I, for one, support the greater involvement of Franks within the comics world.
Tracer Bullet
February 18th, 2008 at 8:31 am [Reply]

Most likely contents of the package sent to Steve:

a) Gloria’s panties
b) Running shoes
c) Photos of Redmullet’s sweaterpuppies along with her phone number and a map to her house
d) Home pedicure kit
Frank Parsnip
February 18th, 2008 at 8:36 am [Reply]

With the caveat that I hope that Frank Miller will stop with the comic books until he creates a female character who is not a hooker for once…
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
February 18th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

A3G: Want to find Alan? Just be quiet and listen for the “glug glug glug” sounds.

A.D.: Alan’s become a dinosaur!?

BB: Sarge prefers it when Beetle gets “really dirty.”

Blondie: What person under 40 has ever used the phrase “In this day and age”?

Cathy: Two and a half skyward-pointing fingers. (Cathy’s is at chest level.) Avoid, avoid, avoid.

C’Shaft: I prefer to think of that “Klunk!” as the sound of his prostate falling out.

C(OS): Why is Poulet looking at me? Why is he telling me this? Make him stop.

(WT)DT: “So what you’re saying, Tracy, is that the chief has been kidnapped? And maybe we should check out some weirdo artists in the area?” Next: The Story So Far!

EC: When your cat exhibits signs of distress, listen to him. Harry clearly wants them to buy him a subscription to the hot new online game for pets, “Mammals of Warcraft.”

FC: I’ll answer your question if you answer mine, Billy. How come Calvin & Hobbes ended in 1995, but your strip keeps going on forever?

GA: “Gee, it sure is swell that the notorious criminal Jimmy the Lock was captured in between strips so our writer and artist didn’t have to depict anything exciting!” “Sure is! Let’s go home now and spend a week eating Wheateena while reading the newspaper to each other!”

GT: Well, the art is better than it was, but that’s damning with faint praise. But take heart, there may be some snark material left here yet — have you ever in your life seen a car such as that? It’s like they took a Chrysler K-car to a chop shop, removed the center three feet and welded the ends together.

HtH: I always thought Hernia and Hamlet were brother and sister?

HotC: Tatulli, the “Same but Different” protest was last week.

H&J: “…and every week thereafter!” Bada-BING!

H&L: Unfunny Jokes About Kids Worrying Over the Federal Deficit Count: 1

MC: Bar flies. Excellent.

Shoe: Unfunny Jokes About Kids Worrying Over the Federal Deficit Count: 2

SFx: The Swine sisters! At last, gender parity among the criminals of… of… say, is there a name for the place Slylock Fox takes place? Could it be Foxboro, Mass.?
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 18th, 2008 at 9:09 am [Reply]

Technical difficulties. Chennux seems to have magmacannoned the funnies again, or at least the color ones. Have to call in some expert reconstructors.
Calico
February 18th, 2008 at 9:11 am [Reply]

It’s the color strips Chennux is pissed over. Must’ve been the Snuffy coloring thing that ticked him off.
Just saw Gil Thorp, and Boxcar Saturn, the Auntie IS Margo Magee!
They both have those meddlin’ genes, like Mary “Go Deeper” Worth.
Harold
February 18th, 2008 at 9:14 am [Reply]

Gil Thorp: So now, instead of the parts of teenagers being played by partially disassembled mannequins, they will be played by 50-year-olds wearing car coats? The strip now seems to have been shifted to the Eisenhower administration.
John C Fremont
February 18th, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

# 197 – re; Gil Thorp Mobile. I don’t know, but it looks a little like a Myrada with a late 70’s Malibu grill, and the back half of a Bentley. Could be a collector’s item in some alternate universe which, come to think of it, is what the GT world is.
Bootsy
February 18th, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

If Bert and Ernie were crossed with the Lockhorns, you’d have Beetle and Sarge.
AhClem
February 18th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

#151 bats :[ -
"Still no sign of Lizardbreath and Asshathony…not even on Valentine’s Day…are they still in rut since New Year’s Eve?"

Liz. Anthony. Rut. I don't ... ewww. [hurl!]

MW – By “going deeper”, Mary is simply asking Drew to stop working as a greeter in the Santa Royale Wal-Mart, and do overnight stocking instead, out of the public view.

JP – Steve doesn’t want his mom to know that his copy of “How to Pick Up Girls” has finally arrived.
Rbmmom
February 18th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

Monday’s Luann- tomorrow we watch paint dry or grass grow…..still more interesting then listening to Luann talk about Aaron Hill, Ben, or anything in her life
Islamorada Girl
February 18th, 2008 at 9:48 am [Reply]

Yes! It’s Auntie Margo! The Apocalypse is upon us!
Or this is a big inside joke just for us. . .
Godzooky
February 18th, 2008 at 9:56 am [Reply]

Well, as much as Frank McLaughlin’s work was snarked on here, it looks like he’s leaving the comics pages, so it may be time to give him some propers:

Wikipedia’s Frank McLaughlin bio.

GCD list of his comic book work, most in the 1960s/70s.

Representative sample: Judomaster #96 cover. (Okay, this one has a disappearing tree, background voids, and a nut punch, but the figure-work, perspective, and composition are better than we’ve seen in GT.)

And, as it turns out, Frank’s replacement is a buddy of his, so maybe those try-outs the other week were for show.

Frank, if you’re ill, best wishes to get better. If you decided it’s time to hang up the ink pen, best wishes for the retirement. I, for one, will miss your GT work.
SecretAgentMan
February 18th, 2008 at 9:57 am [Reply]

MW- I missed Sunday’s strip, so the out-of-the-blue statement on Mary’s part made me think that spammers had taken over the writing. “What about going deeper? Ladies will love if you enlarge your man-tool, click here!”
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 18th, 2008 at 10:01 am [Reply]

2/18

A3G: No Margo, I don’t understand why she’s looking for him either.

SFx: Trailer park hideousness in all its glory! But girs, don’t bother with the bathing suits. If you want to help your, ahem, bottom line, take along some tissue paper to wrap up the bottles of perfume. That’s where the real jing is.

Archie: AJGLU3000’s sporadic vendetta against pre-digital technology continues.

MC: The image of a barfly as an actual fly disturbs me a little. I guess all multi-cellular life forms are fair game in this anthropomorphic gumbo.

DT: “Ugly portraits are for political cartoonists who dabble in adventure strips. Keep the quirky artists off our turf!”

MF: Livia Soprano is alive and running for president? Yeah, real subtle, Bruce.

JP: What will the package be? A bomb? Cookies? Some sweet Bolivian marching powder that Steve will cut with an old Gillette razor? Tune in around July to find out.

Ziggy: The Zigsters gone to a place where aphorisms hang in midair waiting for worship. My guess is Mary Worth’s brain.

MT: Oh snap! Mark’s primitive brain has wrapped its paws around the obvious!

Ghost Who…: The Unknown Commander grabs a memo and retreats to his charming wishing well lair.

GA: I’m amazed that a Gasoline Alley storyline has an ending, much less a happy one.

Cathy: There’s a killer oral sex joke somewhere in here, but I can’t find it.

OBH: Oh please, Ruthie. He doesn’t need any more encouragement.

Crock: For the life of me, I can’t see any reason why they had to break the fourth wall here.

Marvin: Fourth panel: Dad breaks coffee mug, uses fragments to slash his own wrists.
Niall
February 18th, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

Quick Monday Notes

Let us mourn, brothers and sisters, for the end of an Era. The Era of impossible angles. The Era of confused proportions. The Era of basketball hoops at Batman angles with the court. The Era of Gil Thorp. It shall be sorely missed, though our brain cells may disagree. It was a Good era for Snarkage!

…and whoa, what the hell is that pigtail doing glued to the back of that head?

So… still something to snark about, perhaps! All hope is not lost!

In other strips:

BC and Garfield: No. Sorry, but makes no sense. Try again.

DtM: -100 Menace Points.

BB: This strip, however, keeps going in the “more dirty” area.

Blondie: Did they just go all Herb and Jamaal on an iPhone joke??

MC: I love the people in background of panel 2. The lady on the right has real hips! So rare to see in comics!

PBS: Fun with Nature Facts.

SlyFx: What disturbs me the most about the Swine Sisters is the hock of ham on the table. They’re cannibals!! Isn’t that more against the law in Sly’s world than a measly trunk full of swimsuits? And yet, maybe he’ll nip in the bud a possible movement against the fashion tyranny, as they were planning to publicly burn the swimsuits as an act vilifying the fabricated expectations of the beauty industry. The secondary cannibalism charges will just be glazing on top.
lylebot
February 18th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

The reason Funky keeps getting fatter is that he’s actually being replaced by successive post-jump Funkys (Funkies?). When we first saw 10-year-jump Funky, it was actually 20-year-jump Funky, who had just jumped back 10 years and eaten the actual 10-year-jump Funky. The Funky we’re seeing now is actually 30-year-jump Funky, who’s just jumped back 20 years to eat the 20-year-jump Funky masquerading as 10-year-jump Funky. Soon he too will be eaten by 40-year-jump Funky.

Don’t think about it too much; your head will start to hurt.
Calico
February 18th, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

SlyFox – it’s the Trailer Park version of LiLo, Brits, and Paree 20 years into the future. Nice.
Calico
February 18th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

#209 – Re: SFx – I’m not sure which is more sqickish – Dingo’s Beetle porn, or pigs eating themselves.

I think it’s the latter.
AeroSquid
February 18th, 2008 at 10:25 am [Reply]

FW: Wow ! Funky is a fat pompous asshole today !
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 18th, 2008 at 10:25 am [Reply]

#197 SSB,
Now we know why we’ve never seen Elmo’s parents. He’s really the Bumsteads’ 50-year-old little person neighbor. With a taste for sportswear.
commodorejohn
February 18th, 2008 at 10:25 am [Reply]

BB – Enough already!

Curtis – Billingsley, we get it already. Okay, you like Obama. My conserva-libertarianism aside, I don’t blame you; he seems likeable enough, and I’d definitely rather have him in office than Hillary, but still, if you’re going to hand out an endorsement through your comic, just be up-front about it, okay? Enough of this ham-handed stealth endorsement.

DT – I don’t know what that’s supposed to be, but I’m getting fewer “ugly” vibes off it than the entire rest of this strip. And why is Dick turning into Charlie Chan in panel two? Admittedly, Chan would do a much better job at this whole “detective” thing…

FC – Their previous attempts on his life having failed, Bil and Thel instructed their children to “start counting, and don’t stop until you hit infinity.” The look of dreary resignation on Billy’s face is music to my eyes.

FOOB – Why is Mike’s face sagging in the last panel? I thought he was the Eternally Youthful One!

GA – I don’t particularily care about the plot, but I do love the “Invisible Tribe” comic on the back of Skeezix’s paper consisting of nothing but word balloons.

GT – AHHH WHAT THE HELL IS THIS GODDAMMIT YOU MANIACS YOU RUINED IT! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! …where do I go to file a grievance about this?

H&L – Ditto has been taking Obnoxious Pretention lessons from Sophie. Next he’ll start blathering about global warming. Oh wait, never mind.

JP – Hmm, perhaps the old Gil Thorp artist is just guesting for Judge Parker today. Panel one’s definitely got that surreal Thorpian vibe to it.

Luann – Oh great, now Greg Evans is trying to pull a Brooke McEldowney on us. Should work great, except for the part where there’s no possible way Evans’ art could carry the strip by itself. Much as Luann’s plots and dialogue suck, this is bound to be even worse.

MT – Yes, clearly this is an airtight, open-and-shut case. Oh wait, except for the part where all the evidence is based on Mark’s verbal testimony and there were no other witnesses.

Marmaduke – Marmaduke is like that one alien weapon in Half-Life that spits glowing, poisonous flies at your enemies.

MW – Yeah, here comes the ship-him-off-to-Vietnam bit. I really wish Mary hadn’t used the phrase “going deeper,” though.

Momma – Much as I don’t really want to hear about Mary Lou’s sex life, I’m hoping that she’ll “accidentally” divulge some bedroom details and drive Momma into cardiac arrest and death. Please, please please.

PBS – I love this strip.

Pluggers – Pluggers are absurdly specific automacrophiles.

SM – Nice try, Spider-Man, but you’ll never replace They’ll Do It Every Time, especially when you only do half of the gag.

Edison Lee – is protectionist despite being part of the party that came up with the phrase “most favored nation.”
AeroSquid
February 18th, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

FW: Funky needs a drink.
commodorejohn
February 18th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

Oh, in regards to Slylock Fox and the ham-hock, pigs actually do that.
Whippersnapper
February 18th, 2008 at 10:38 am [Reply]

9CL: Thorax is an unbearable snot.

Foob: Mike’s kids are unbearable snots.

FW: Funky is an unbearable snot.

MW: Mary is an unbearable snot.

Also, I believe the missing lightbulb from Luann is in MT, struggling to flicker to life over Mark’s head and he slowly figures out the obvious, obvious clues.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 18th, 2008 at 10:42 am [Reply]

180 mibbitmaker,

Maybe they could even things out by putting McLaughlin on A3G. Just think of what the insane rendering could do to the girls’ world. Two nerds face off for Tommie’s love, standing at an impossible 90 degree angle! Meanwhile, hospital gurneys are sucked into the cosmic void!
True Fable
February 18th, 2008 at 10:53 am [Reply]

Alas, no longer a (DT) before the GT. Well, at least not for right now. Let’s see if we can tell the difference between characters without the telltale slightly different bland hair color shading first before we rush to (DT)’s.

Mid Morning snark! Ow!

A3G You know, any other struggling artist would have been happy and thrilled to have a gallery feature her work, especially when the work is a lot of uninspiring floral portraits. But all Luann can think of is which drunk tank is drying Alan out for her. Go figure.
Archie Magic Shrinking Books.
Baldo Aw, c’mon! What happened to the realistically drawn story started Saturday? (say that three times fasts, sportsfans!)
BB Dingo MUST incorporate today’s dialog in his SwampyPorn.
Cathy (Must Die!) And yet for all her honesty, Cathy still does nothing about keeping those hands AWAY from her mouth.
(WT)DT Dick Tracy has no right to pass judgment on the appearance of any portrait.
Doonesbury See Lynnie? THIS is how you do aphasia humor.
FC Billy, it’s because there are only so many ways one can say “Enough already” but the number of people who dislike you will just keep going.
FBoFW Mike finally realizes his children both have learning disabilities. Hey, can I give your kids a good firm swat on the butt? Or two or three swats?
Wrinkled and Geezer’d and Should be Dead by Now Man, it is downright painful to see Skeezix and Nina. They used to be my favorite characters but now they look more like Mr. and Mrs. Cryptkeeper.
GT Well, this is what happens when there’s a squeaky wheel. It gets the grease. (pssst! Lynnie! SQUEAK!!)
Scenes from Suburban Hell No, Hi; it’s scary when a grown man wears pajamas that are loud enough to keep the whole household awake.
JP Then again, maybe it was Gloria mailing herself to him.
MT WHY does Natasha Badenov or whatever the hell her name is, suddenly have her hair all plastered down on her skull? Did her hairdo deflate once Mark got the drop on her?
BigDog GEEZ, that is one of the reasons I don’t own Great Danes any more. I can’t stand having a giantus doggoneus breathe his nasty breath on me.
Marvin Pour your coffee on her notes and walk out of the room, pal. Your only hope is make up sex. Oh, and – way to kill the buzz for any future passion, Mrs. Romance Writer With An Excuse For Everything Except Quality.
MW Oh sweet Jesus, Drew – Mary’s talking about Going Deeper and Do something you’re proud of – the egotistical old thing thinks you need to screw her! RUN!! RUN!!!
I, Platypus I laughed out loud at this today, just sat and hooted!
PMP I enjoyed this one also.
PBS TRIFECTA!
Phantom Diana wants to know if there be ‘ho’s movin’ in on her territory.
RMMD Here we see the yellowbacked starfish haircutus as he extends his neck out to sniff the air for signs of gunpowder residue before striking.
SFx Today – Cathy (MD!) crosses over to Foxland!
Niall
February 18th, 2008 at 10:55 am [Reply]

208. AfkaBen: For the love of all that’s holy, please never mention “Cathy” and “oral sex” in the same sentence ever again!!

217. commodorejohn: I think I had read about this before, but it still doesn’t excuse anything. 1) It would mean the Swine Sisters are mothers, and 2) that’s an adult pig’s hock.
Calico
February 18th, 2008 at 10:56 am [Reply]

#217 – “Usually repeat offenders.”
Aaaaaarrrgh!
Is Miss Piggy guilty too, perchance?
Calico
February 18th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

I think Frank McLaughlin singlehandedly reinvented Calculus, or at least Trigonometry.
We’ll miss you, Frank. Be well.
Artist formerly known as Ben
February 18th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

#221 Niall,
You know, I thought I might hit a raw nerve there. But I had already hit “Post.”
Hank
February 18th, 2008 at 11:17 am [Reply]

AURRGH!!!!! The Apt. 3-G artist is drawing “Gil Thorp”!!!!!!
Rainbird
February 18th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

167 DanKirby

Is it is a fact that GT has a new artist? I noticed that everyone wasn’t falling down, or standing sideways.

Ah, I will miss those halcyon days.

Good news, it appears the stories are as insane as every.
AhClem
February 18th, 2008 at 11:31 am [Reply]

#223 Calico -
Not only that, but he was the first comic strip artist to accurately portray six dimensions in a two-dimensional medium.

MT – Mark’s slowly dawning realization reminds me of Dan Aykroyd’s line in Trading Places: “Hey, you’re a … a … prostitute!”
huntingbyrd
February 18th, 2008 at 11:41 am [Reply]

#190 Gregoire
Fourth Panel: Luaan: “I still don’t know where alan is Margo!” Margo:”Luaan where is jacket and blouse?” DUN DUN DUN To be countinued…
Thats awesome and totally gross.
Rainbird
February 18th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

197 The Spectacular Spider-Brick

At first I thought it had all happened on Sunday, in GA, but that strips is like the Phontom, and is a different story completely.

So what was the point? That postal workers aren’t crazy? That you should trust them? Is this love a postal workers week?

I dont’ get it.
huntingbyrd
February 18th, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

#220 True Fable
I actually saw some Great Danes a day ago and man they were half the size of me(and only 3 years old!) But they were damn cute that was for sure.But the first thought that came to me was “marmaduke…aw crap” Spiney Norman agreed with me though that they were cute.
Uncle Lumpy
February 18th, 2008 at 12:02 pm [Reply]

May we all wear smiles as big as Frank McLaughlin’s, waking up the first morning he doesn’t have to draw Gil Thorp.

#229 Rainbird — Scancarelli’s too cheap to tip his mailman at Christmas, so he does this instead.
Weaselboy
February 18th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

MW: Hey Drew, you want to do something you can really be proud of? Paint the walls and reupholster the couch.
True Fable
February 18th, 2008 at 12:13 pm [Reply]

#230 huntingbyrd – We had a pair of brindle Danes a long time ago. They were wonderful dogs but they were just TOO BIG. I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom when one came in and leaned against me – ‘leaned’ is a relative term with Danes, because I fell against the mirror and cracked my forehead on it. Started locking the bathroom door because they could GNAW on the doorknob and turn their heads and let themselves in.
They thought it was okay to climb up into the waterbed with us and we had to ROLL them out of bed so their claws wouldn’t puncture the mattress. Started locking the bedroom door.
They’d get excited to see me when I came home from work, and they’d smash me against the door and PIN me there with their GOD AWFUL DOGGIE BREATH. Couldn’t very well lock myself out, now could I? :-) But they were sweet and lovable and just the most personable creatures you’d ever want to meet.

They didn’t eat any more than the average dog, but they had the biggest POO mounds I ever saw. Geez, it was like stalagmites in search of a cave. Dog guano.

We finally gave one dog to my sister and the other to a friend who lived in the country and wanted a dog to keep his cows company. He could hardly tell the difference between the dog and the calves.

So when I read Marmaduke I’m torn between fondly remembering Lard and Dolly, and wincing.
Shermy Glamrocker
February 18th, 2008 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

Re: The Foob portrait. At first glance, I thought Elly was nursing the rabbit. Then I realized she’d have to hold the bunny about three feet lower to do that.
Red Greenback
February 18th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

I just wonder how Bolle will pull off a physically impossible feat ala Tyler’s self bashing scene when Rubin demands one.
True Fable
February 18th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

#235 Red Greenback – I’m envisioning one hell of a head bobble we won’t soon forget!
GotFuzzy
February 18th, 2008 at 12:50 pm [Reply]

Much like Beetle Bailey features Buxley Wednesday, Pluggers has theme days. On Mondays, we see that Pluggers are fat, Tuesdays show us that Pluggers are broke, Wednesdays reveal that Pluggers are heavily medicated, Thursdays break the news that Pluggers are very old, Fridays let us know that Pluggers drive a POS, and Saturdays teach us that Pluggers are lazy or agoraphobic. In times like these, when we are faced with the brave new world of a blond, bland I?GT (although with Cousin Ruby and Gina as examples, the hairstyles will continue to defy explanation), it’s good to know there are things we can count on.
Gold-Digging Nanny
February 18th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

Maybe this has already been posted here, but I didn’t notice it, and in any case it’s worth noting again. Duck and Cover has started an awards programs, The Golden Ellipses, for the worst Mallard Fillmore strips of 2007.

The winners so far:
The Limbaugh Award for Best Regurgitation of Talking Points: “Global warming is a scientific controversy.”
Worst Rhyme Scheme:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20070215&name=Mallard_Fillmore
Creepiest Unintentional Self-Revelation:
http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComick.mpl?date=20071202&name=Mallard_Fillmore).

Under consideration now is Most Interminable Series. Current front-runners are “Fat Chinese Kids Eat Dogs” — says it all — and “Drafting Walter Williams,” in which Mallard, ever the cultural barometer of our times, successfully created the groundswell of voter support that has made Walter Williams the G.O.P. front-runner for president that he is today.

Cast your vote at Duck and Cover here:
http://duckcover.blogspot.com/2008/02/golden-ellipses-most-interminable.html

And keep checking the site. There’s 11 more awards to be doled out, including Flimsiest Premise, Most Violent Assault on the English Language, Least Accurate Caricature, and Achievement in Oversimplification or Willful Ignorance.
Alfred E. Neuman
February 18th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

#197 The Spectacular Spider Brick— That’s not a totally made-up car. Detroit actually built cars that looked like that in the 1970s. Since it has a license plate reading “1974″, the 1974 model that it resembles most closely is the Ford Torino (the one used by Starsky and Hutch). Other similar models were the Chevrolet Monte Carlo, and the Chrysler Cordoba. Who expected that something in GT could be drawn fairly realistically?
Godzooky
February 18th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

Are Lu Ann’s flower paintings being shown at this gallery?
Dingo
February 18th, 2008 at 1:39 pm [Reply]

Y’know, I realize that the makers of Beetle Bailey are just begging me today to write something but, trust me, the dialogue in today’s strip could only lead to a slash fiction that would send many of you screaming in the night for your mother. I just keep imagining a garden hose enema, carnival cotton candy, and a pair of white stilettos.

Y’know, a standard issue Mary Worth
Niall
February 18th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

239. Alfred E. Neuman:

Who expected that something in GT could be drawn fairly realistically?

Our whole world is unravelling!! The end is nigh!
Gold-Digging Nanny
February 18th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

Someone needs to put LuAnn Powers in the final panel of Dick Tracy.
Lindsey ^_^
February 18th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

MW: I think it would be great for Drew to do charity work in Vietnam… if he took Mary with him! Think of all the antics they could undergo!

I hope this isn’t just an excuse for the strip to get rid of Drew for a few months. Maybe they’re going to kill him off.
Gold-Digging Nanny
February 18th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

JP: So the best guesses I’ve seen for the package are a bomb from the Taliban, panties from Gloria, and brownies.
I’m going to cry if it’s brownies.
bats, Aviation Division of the Jungle Patrol :[
February 18th, 2008 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

233. True Fable: oh, come on! Surely you must’ve been cracked good and solid in the groin with one of Lard or Dolly’s tail at least once! A friend of ours had that dubious honor when another friend’s Great Dane was a little too happy to see us all…
Dingo
February 18th, 2008 at 1:55 pm [Reply]

You’re all missing the point!

Dr. Cory the Elder is at a stage of life where his balloon doesn’t hit the ceiling anymore, n’est ce pais. The suggestion Mary is making to take Drew’s mind off of Vera is for him to fuck Mary while his father presses his finger against Drew’s prostate.

Very Jane Austen.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a jilted man in possession of a medical degree must be in want of a whore.
Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
February 18th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

Dick Tracy–OK, once again we have people standing around discussing the astonishing bit of news that some “bizarre” artist (Mr. Pot, meet Ms. Kettle) is doing portraits of people who disappear, and Good Lord! they have the chief and…

oh God, I can’t go on. I just can’t go on.
Brick Bradford of the Space Jungle Patrol
February 18th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

MW–I’m still thinking that Chester and Drew have a future together–why else do the whole stupid dog plot?
gh
February 18th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

SlyFox –

I’m sorry, but are those sketches of fish skeletons sticking out of that Chinese take-out container? Talk about mailing it in. At least there are two of them. Heads down, so I can only presume one is smiling. So what are we saying, pigs can eat ham but not fish? You’d think the Swine Sisters place would be ankle deep in fish skeletons. Much to ponder here.

It’s official: out with (I?)GT, in with (T[M’d]U)GT.
Gold-Digging Nanny
February 18th, 2008 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

Luann — Tuesday’s strip, panel one: Luann’s dad is sitting in a comfy chair, sipping a drink. Panel two: He spills his drink. Panel three: He opens the liquor cabinet. Panel four: The whiskey bottle is empty.

Wednesday’s strip, panel one: Luann’s dad is at the liquor store. Panel two: He’s got a new bottle of whiskey at the checkout line. Panel three: He opens his wallet. Panel four: He removes a note from Luann that reads, “Hey Dad! Sorry — had to borrow the Visa. XXXOOO, Luann.”

Thursday’s strip, panel one: Luann’s dad has a gun in his mouth and is pulling the trigger. The gun does not go off. Panel two: Luann’s dad checks the gun and sees that it is unloaded. Panel three: Luann’s dad reaches for a box of cartridges. Panel four: It’s empty.
Marthas Rolling Pin
February 18th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

#250 gh, I can only interpret those sketches of fish skeletons as a sly “Happy Monday” to the Curminions from Mr. Weber, Jr.
UncleJeff
February 18th, 2008 at 2:14 pm [Reply]

Say folks, where can I find Gil Thorp?
I would usually go over to comicspage.com (also provider of the semi-pornographic “Love Is” but now all they have is a bust of Gil, a Tribune Media line and a blank space?
The Divine O’F
February 18th, 2008 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

I’m so excited–I just realized what’s up with Mark Trail. Reading it today, the excessively wooden dialogue reminded me of the time I coached some grade school kids who wanted to write books. Some of them were very good illustrators–able to draw realistic animals, for example. And they all had decent imaginations. But NONE of them could write dialogue that wasn’t stilted.

Ergo: Jack Elrod must be a very precocious ten-year-old.
GotFuzzy
February 18th, 2008 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

UncleJeff, try this: http://www.chron.com/apps/comics/showComic.mpl?date=2008/2/18&name=Gil_Thorp

It took awhile to show up this morning, but I think it’s all fixed now.
Gold-Digging Nanny
February 18th, 2008 at 2:49 pm [Reply]

Man, the Gil Thorp news makes me sad. I thought it looked A3G-ish when I read it this morning — you guys confirmed it. I would have been delighted if the artist linked to by This Week in Milford got it, because the art was good. And I would have been delighted for the last artist to stay; others here have noted Kaz’s extradimensional fight scene, but I’d just like to add this one: http://joshreads.com/?p=1369. Oh, the punchiness!
One-eyed Wolfdog
February 18th, 2008 at 2:59 pm [Reply]

Anyone who’s feeling for whatever reason depressed or just a bit down, here’s a jolly uplifting Buckles strip to buoy your spirits.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
February 18th, 2008 at 3:04 pm [Reply]

#256 GDN: Yep, it’ll be awhile before I move into the acceptance stage. I wonder… sniff… how Bolle will render Coach Kaz’s Bar Bush baubles? Gil’s bricky, blocky head?

I’m beside myself. McLaughlin’s eyes n’ brows somehow always suggested six eyes to me, and I’m gonna miss them awful.
AhClem
February 18th, 2008 at 3:07 pm [Reply]

If Bolle messes with Gail Martin or her braid ™, he’s in big, big trouble.
gh
February 18th, 2008 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

#259 AhClem –

Based on the braid in today’s strip, I’d say we’re good on that front. I’m worried about the hands though. They look like hands.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
February 18th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

Hey, AeroSquid! A monkeycup salute to you, amigo!

#259 AhClem: Word, bro.
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
February 18th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

#260 gh:

I’m worried about the hands though. They look like hands.

Yeah. Before, GT hands looked kinda like those generic, rhomboid, palm-sized morsels of meat we’re supposed to consider portions. Subject to batshit insane foreshortening, of course.
Niall
February 18th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

250. gh: I had not noticed the papers with drawn fish skeletons. That is indeed strange.

So I started checking the rest of the panel closely – Weber always packs so much in them. And then I started to wonder… was there a coloring mishap? Was the leftmost pigtailed swine sister supposed to have orange hair? Because the poses, expressions and even, to a point, hairstyles would resemble an alternate-universe version of the A3G girls, to the point of being in the same order as the Sunday title panel… Angry black-haired one! Vacuous blonde! Easy-going other-blonde-maybe-redhaired!

…or am I just needing more sleep?
gh
February 18th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

#263 Nall –

As I said, much to ponder. All the depths of Hieronymous Bosch without the sermonizing.
gh
February 18th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

Oh my stars and garters I just got to the Sports section and Gil Thorp has been dropped!! I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or not . . .
Hasty Penguin
February 18th, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

From the way that hole is shaped, it looks more like Marmaduke fell through the stratosphere rather than a simple dug hole. Perhaps Marmaduke is meeting more of his own, freakishly large kind. The signal got through, Marmaduke. But it is not what you hope. They’re trying to finish you off with well aimed meteorites.
benro
February 18th, 2008 at 4:06 pm [Reply]

GT – I’m sorry to see the old artist go. The surreal insanity of the art was a perfect complement to the surreal insanity of the storys. With the new A3G artist, we are going from artwork that was at least bad in a thought-provoking way, to artwork that is just bad in a bland way.
Patrick
February 18th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

I accidentally posted this in the previous blog when I meant to post this here, please forgive the repost. A3G’s art opening storyline is driving me nuts!

I’m an artist who has been to more than a few openings and this storyline wallows, if not revels in staid lameness. If I were to not show up on time at my own opening, the gallery owner would have my hide. Second, Alan is beyond pathetic. How did he go so quickly from being Mr. Caring Sensitive Artist, to Pathetic Drunken Doofus? The transition is completely unbelievable anywhere but in the warped parallel universe that is A3G.

If the person who wrote this storyline had ever bothered to do a little research on Albert Pinkham Ryder, it would not have taken long to figure out that pathetic flower paintings would have been at the bottom of the man’s list. I can see it now, I’m A.P.R and I’m dead haunting some old building. I can’t get into Alan’s head because there is nothing there, so how do I ever get to do those cheesy flower paintings my academy instructor swore he’d cut my hand off if he ever saw me paint another one? Who just came in the studio door? Why it’s LuAnn, a completely malleable and lifeless doormat with a poor sense of time and a taste for carbon monoxide. She’ll do!

When I originally found this site, I came across another site that had back strips of A3G from the 1960’s and its amazing to see how far A3G has slid downhill.

My paper had the good sense to drop Mary Worth, so I hope Drew drove off the cliff to his death and then the strip can update to its proper title Mary Worth: Wooden Angel of Death.

Speaking of death, I wish the idiot on the lam would just pump a few bullets into Rex Morgan and shut up already! Doesn’t he know that villians who talk too much always always get killed like a Star Trek red shirt?

I could go on, but I have to go….
Luprand
February 18th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

So … just curious, but does the whole McCain-Feingold thing apply to comic strips as well as other media? And if so, does this mean next Sunday’s Curtis will be about McCain, or Hillary, or (other candidate names here)?
Little Guy
February 18th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

245: They’re panty bombs made out of browines from the Taliban. Who knew they could cook?

Yester-SFX/Valiant symmetry: Slylock could just hold siege until said Ape gives up. He can start by constructing a catapult to toss the aforementioned panty bombs.
Gregoire
February 18th, 2008 at 4:51 pm [Reply]

#269 – I believe the rules only apply to paid political advertising. at best (worst?) comics are editorial content. Otherwise newspapers would be even thinner than they are already, when close to election time!
Jacob Schultz
February 19th, 2008 at 2:22 am [Reply]

Yes, I agree: Speak English or Die!
bryan
February 19th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

actually, what you didn’t realize is that Snuffy couldn’t tell the picture wasn’t black and white because he is illiterate.

As am I.
murdock ming
September 20th, 2008 at 1:50 am [Reply]

serious stuff… plaster topics are pretty sobering. In case you’re interested, here’s some neat information about plaster walls in winchester I found helpful
Lolsworth
April 29th, 2010 at 6:05 pm [Reply]

Plaster-related spam now?

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