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Many jokes, none good

Shoe, 4/6/08

And this week’s award for the most egregious waste of Sunday comic space goes to … today’s Shoe! In fact, this Sunday strip contains two separate bits that would make perfectly serviceable daily strips (and since this is Shoe, by “perfectly serviceable” I mean “composed of mildly joke-like material”). Panels two and three in the first row and panels one and three of the bottom row are self-contained and even mildly funny. Panel two of the bottom row at least contains the mildly amusing sign “If All Else Fails Sawbones”. The middle row, in contrast, contains no jokes, no setups for jokes, and no cute details worth looking at. They are a slap in the face of everyone who ever aspires to occupy one of the precious square inches of the comics page, because they basically say, “Ha ha! We’re Shoe, we’re never going away, and we don’t have to care.

Crankshaft, 4/6/08

Today’s Crankshaft similarly crams multiple jokes into a single strip, but at least they all get to the heart of the feature’s archetypical concerns:

  • Joke one, panels one and two: Crankshaft is disgusted by modern life.
  • Joke two, panels three and four: Someone treated Crankshaft with disregard, probably because he’s old and/or unpleasant.
  • Joke three, panels five and six: Crankshaft is old and sick, and probably dying.

Slylock Fox, 4/6/08

Wow, eBay scams? That doesn’t really strike me as Count Weirdly’s style. Usually he likes to harass his victims in person, presumably so he can giggle with girlish glee at their annoyance. The saddest thing about today’s strip is not that Slylock’s constant harassment has forced the poor Count to turn to cybercrime to get his kicks, but that this is the first time we’ve seen what appears to be Countess Weirdly, or maybe his mistress, or sister — or, anyway, a She-Weirdly of some kind — and she’s leading Slylock arm-in-arm to the scene of the crime. “Yes, officer, here he is! Now lock him away so this castle and its army of freaky critters will be mine, all mine! MUHAHAHAHA! Wait, did I say that last part aloud?”

That beaver in the “which two scenes are alike” puzzle is the smuggest rodent I’ve ever seen in my life. Meanwhile, the one submitted to the “your drawing” feature looks like it’s at the tail end of some kind of weeks-long mescaline binge.

211 responses to “Many jokes, none good”

  1. Masahiro Sakurai
    April 6th, 2008 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    N-no comments?! Could this really be?

  2. Dji
    April 6th, 2008 at 8:40 pm [Reply]

    It can be, but only briefly.

  3. Yaanu
    April 6th, 2008 at 8:44 pm [Reply]

    Countess Weirdly will be in my nightmares for decades.

  4. okayfine
    April 6th, 2008 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    I suspect that Shoe writer guy had an excessive backlog of material for his Sunday throwaway panels. All he had to do was find a couple of doctor-themed ones to string together haphazardly, and the result is exactly the sum of its parts.

  5. yellojkt
    April 6th, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

    Everyone likes a nice snug, I mean smug, beaver.

  6. RaJ
    April 6th, 2008 at 8:56 pm [Reply]

    Right now I’m in the middle of writing a term paper about the resurgence of tuberculosis in Russia. You would think that the Sunday comics would be a bit more cheerful than that. Oh, how Shoe and Crankshaft mock such assumptions.

    If there’s anything that burns me more than “Shoe” forgetting its characters are birds, it’s “Shoe” forgetting its characters are birds when they go to the doctor! What, no jokes about hollow bones or three-chambered hearts? This strip makes me lose interest in knowledge.

    Josh, I don’t think that beaver is smug, merely toked up. He looks exactly like my last college roomate. It makes me wonder if that squirrel will remind him that he’s missing British Lit, or if that owl will continue going out with him just for the sex.

    Also, I feel like there is always somebody getting choked in “Slylock.” Is this true? Is it easy to draw? Is it fun, conveying the rage of one party, the terror and escaping life of the other? I guess what I’m asking, why isn’t Weber drawing Mary Worth?

  7. Shlomo
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:01 pm [Reply]

    I actually like Count Weirdly’s chair. It kind of looks like McDonald’s Grimace gone bad.

  8. Jordan
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:03 pm [Reply]

    #1 -

    Hey Masahiro! I’ve been playing Brawl all week. A masterpiece, man. A real masterpiece.

    On another note, wouldn’t Count Weirdly make a lot more money on eBay if he sold that fly-eating chair of his? I’d much rather bid on that than some ambiguous solvent. Oooh, a SOLVENT! You can DISSOLVE things in it! Is he trying to turn on the folks with some sort of dissolving fetish or what?

  9. AhClem
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:04 pm [Reply]

    Count Weirdly is selling DHMO (dihydrogen monoxide), a highly dangerous substance:
    http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html

  10. Toonhead
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    I’ve run in 5 marathons. That marathon runner in Slylock Fox would not last a half mile with that gait and holding his arms up like that. I’ve seen crazier things at marathons.

  11. Corkey
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:21 pm [Reply]

    SF is just a big pile of druggy goodness today. From the puzzle itself, about as LSD influenced as yellow submarine, to the stoned, stoned beaver, to the stoned, stoned whatever the hell that is swinging from the snake, to the marathon runner on ecstasy, to the hippo, who’s taken a bit of everything. Clearly the message is, do drugs kids. Your animal pals do it, your favorite cartoonists do it, clearly you’re missing out.

  12. Islamorada Girl
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    Oh, Count Weirdly, will you ever win? Even Countess W. is ratting you out to that meddling fox. Count, you should put a restraining order on Slylock, because it’s clear he’s stalking you.

  13. Flipper
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:27 pm [Reply]

    I see Josh has interpreted the Herb-and-Jamaal-esque “internet auction site” to mean “eBay.” Well, why couldn’t it be Amazon? Or Overstock? Or uBid? Or…

    Oh, what’s the use. We all know it’s eBay.

  14. Rita Lake and the Special Goddesses
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:31 pm [Reply]

    Mr. Weber, you’ve done it again! I’m pretty much in love with everything in the Count Weirdly panel. I love how half the creatures in the room are about to devour the other half, and that all the presumptive devouerers are wearing the same maniacal grins (including Count Weirdly, who will presumably devour our vulpine detective). I love how Count Weirdly keeps a mouse in a jar for no apparent reason. I love the bizarre contrast between the tiny black mouse in the jar and our comparatively gigantic, bright-yellow, shorts-bedecked-yet-shirtless sidekick. I love that Count Weirdly has installed a hole in the floor and housed his pet snake in it for the obvious purpose of disposing of Max.

    Funny, I had pegged “Countess Weirdly” as the guy’s daughter, since they look so similar. I am curious about who she is, considering that she’s not introduced…but I’m more curious about what exactly the Count is keeping in his hat. Or what that grinning blob in the background is.

  15. Rainbird
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    Josh,

    I too read Shoe today and thought “WTF”

    The middle panel at least could have had a golf joke, as don’t all doctors run late because of golf? Oh wait, that is cartoonists.

  16. IagoPogo
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:37 pm [Reply]

    Count Weirdly’s e-bay offering is worth less than two dollars? Well, that’s refreshing!

  17. Muffaroo
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    Blondie – Here’s proof that Dagwood is brain-damaged. He’s found this near-subliminal mechanism for hinting, and all he asks for is food. He’s standing next to one of the most top-heavy and pulchritudinous classic comics babe, and… hell, if it was me in that situation, I like to think I’d be going “Ah… ah… ah… DOGGIE STYLE!!!”

  18. Dingo
    April 6th, 2008 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    Josh, you’ve never seen a pouty beaver? You need to have dinner with Colonel Lingus!

  19. Niall
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    I see I’m not the only one nonpussed by the She-Weirdly.

    I really, really wonder what Reynard Noir will make of her.

  20. Niall
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:00 pm [Reply]

    Non-PLUSSED. Aaaaack!

  21. bats :[
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:01 pm [Reply]

    I didn’t realize until pretty late in the game that there were two Sunday FOOBS (kind of like TWO platitudes in last Sunday’s Mary Worth…the horror, the horror).
    Rather than just a mere publishing snafu, I prefer to speculate on all sorts of psychological ramifications and machinations of the appearance of two strips on the same day. Is it a subliminal message from the Creatrix? So covert and insidious that even she doesn’t realize it? (The suspense is killing me…I hope it lasts!)
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2394113385/

  22. TB Tabby
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    That hippo drawing reminds me of Lilo, the autistic hippo plushie from Die Anstalt.

  23. Lisa
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:13 pm [Reply]

    Yow! :oO

  24. alley (not allie) cat
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:14 pm [Reply]

    Two partial views of a completely nude Beetle’s buttocks in the Sunday funnies and no mention here yet…?

  25. Geronimo
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    #11 I would echo your sentiment, tune in, post on, agree, and step outside for a minute.

    You know what, before I saw the tweaked-past-three-and-a-half-years-old RaDiohEAD-LiSTenING beaver in Slylock Fox, I totally thought Josh was referring to the chipmunk, or other non-specific rodent, swinging on the swing in the last doubledecked panel. That little guy looks pretty done, too. And more likely to serve forth the messy dribbling slip of the lips associated with culminations of such excesses of drug binging which I find endlessly educational and entertaining to observe, encounter, or even (recently boringly less frquently so) personally survive.

    I have to say, I love Shoe… it heals my Garrsion Keillor scars. or however you spell that guy’s name… this strip gives me the strength to believe I could someday live in or near a small town with trees and find the smartass living and thriving enough and stuff. If I could be three, twelve, and forty-five alternately on different days of the week..

    not in Marvin’s neighborhood, though. I think I’d get coffee-partied out of town subset.

  26. Lisa
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:19 pm [Reply]

    19-20: Niall, Freudian slip much? ;o}

  27. the crock
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:21 pm [Reply]

    At first I thought Josh just didn’t like kids in comics: look at his distaste for Family Circus, Curtis, and Dennis the Menace.

    But after reading his slamming an eleven year olds drawing I figuire he just hates kids, period.

  28. kippetje2000
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    Ha ha. Crankshaft was bent over when they took his picture. Someone took a photo of his butt. Now anyone who sees his driver’s license will know he’s an ass! And who’s gonna want a flaccid played out organ from Crankshaft? Nobody! Even Crackshaft is sickened by them.

  29. Geronimo
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:25 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the beaver just left a party with Blondie at Gil Thorp’s house.

  30. Geronimo
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    I mean came from a party at Gil Thorpe’s house.

    Pardon the Americanization. Britification. Whichever one isn’t Blondie; that is to say, whichever one isn’t hot; take it the way of your preference

  31. TheDiva
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:30 pm [Reply]

    My theory is Count Weirdly, like the mad scientist in The Nightmare Before Christmas, has created a female duplicate of himself using spare parts and half his brain.

  32. Geronimo
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:31 pm [Reply]

    er, your preferring.

  33. Hawkeye
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:40 pm [Reply]

    Count Weirdly’s willing to splurge on the flat-screen monitor (instead of making one out of whatever animal is lying around his castle) but then proceeds to melt a candle on it? He really is a mad scientist!

  34. Rusty
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know what’s worse, the wasted Sunday panels in Shoe or a strip like Best Friends, which never uses the multi-panel set-up and instead just draws a bigger version of the daily one or two panel strip.

  35. Filby
    April 6th, 2008 at 10:57 pm [Reply]

    “composed of mildly joke-like material”

    Don’t ask me how I know this, but I feel certain that said material is margarine-like in consistency. Like a big ol’ tub of “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Humor!”

  36. Lisa
    April 6th, 2008 at 11:13 pm [Reply]

    You can’t fool Mother Nature…… Bammmm!!!

  37. Joe Btfsplk
    April 6th, 2008 at 11:16 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft – I say the most-egregious-waste award is at least a tie, with this strip filling very nearly half of its allotted space with the combination of its title panel and a useless portrait of Crankshaft. Although, we do benefit from having the actual content shrunken to unreadability as a consequence.

    Slylock – I dunno, I think She-Weirdly is kinda cute.

    I was out of town on business for two weeks last month, away from my computer and hence the comics. Getting myself back into reading them now is proving to be unexpectedly difficult.

  38. Starrynight
    April 6th, 2008 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    I think the smug beaver is really Mary Worth in animal form. She just platituded (is that a word?) someone to death and is reveling in her latest accomplishment.

  39. Poteet
    April 6th, 2008 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    SF — I agree that the beaver sitting against the tree must be seriously ripped, because otherwise I don’t think he/she would be willing to maintain that front-legs-way-behind-the-head position for very long. It looks uncomfortable.

  40. Chesteralph, Jungle Patroldog
    April 6th, 2008 at 11:45 pm [Reply]

    I just assumed that was Weirdly’s sexbot.

  41. Alt Comix
    April 6th, 2008 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: It seems that June has a few tricks up her sleeve to keep the good doctor in line. I wonder if Count Morgu has any idea of what could happen if he slips up? And where does Sarah get all this from? The internet?

    Click here: http://flickr.com/photos/altcomix/2394295422/

  42. Loramir
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:03 am [Reply]

    Okay…In Rex Morgan Abbey is the dog, right? But in Judge Parker Abbey is the redhead with a large…chest. And in Mark Trail Andy is the dog, but in Rex Morgan he’s the mortician? I don’t know why I waste brain cells trying to keep this straight…

    Dick Tracy: Is this a recap, or did Dick just get pwned again?

    And speaking of pwned, I believe that is what Mike & Deanna have just been…by their four year old.

  43. Mibbitmaker
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:05 am [Reply]

    Monday:

    FW: Gosh, but Darin sure is excessively funny-looking, ain’t he? More than before. That face is designed to frighten little children!

    “Relationship C.E.O.”?? I guess, in 10 years, women will be exactly where men used to be before women’s lib… or, more likely, before Women’s Sufferage. Plus… doesn’t “relationship C.E.O.” sound more like Elly Patterson?

    FOOB: Speaking of witch…

    I think he means you won’t have to slave at housework anymore, wiseass. (Oddly enough, as I type this, my oldies mix tape is playing “Devil Woman” by Cliff Richard (1976)!!) He’s trying to be hopefull for you, El.

    Of course, since c. 1980, it still hasn’t happened, so, naturally, Lynn can make John/Rod look like a jerk. So, no Rosie for you guys yet, Jetsons. Sorry.

  44. Mibbitmaker
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:13 am [Reply]

    #42 (Loramir):

    JP, RMMD & MT must meet at some weird nexus, forming an alternate universe of some kind.
    2/3rdsWoodyWilsonWorld, maybe?

  45. Foob Fighter
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:14 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Deanna, You’re a pharmacist, slip those kids some drugs.

  46. Poteet
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:33 am [Reply]

    9CL — If I’d met a ballerina on my 20th birthday, I sure wouldn’t have reacted like that. But I hate shopping for shoes and never wear heels, so by Brooke standards, I probably don’t qualify as female.

    Luann — Oh (boxcar), not another bump in the road of the endless Brad/Toni saga. I’m starting to hope they’ll both die of smoke inhalation if they ever do end up at a fire. Maybe they’d actually have sex in the afterlife.

  47. El Santo
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    Do I have to mention how much I love the living, fly-eating chair in today’s Slylock Fox?

    Also, I imagine Ms. Weirdly to sound exactly like Janeane Garofolo. I don’t know why.

  48. Oddball Turkeypanties
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:42 am [Reply]

    Say what you will about Lynn, her renderings of a dog’s life are pretty on par with what I witness on a daily basis, including the little visible hearts that show up in a thought balloon whenever either mutt finds something to eat that should not eve be consumed. Mind you, mine are more into raccoon poop than, say, bones.

  49. Oddball Turkeypanties
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:46 am [Reply]

    Hey, did you guys know that the Christian singles in my city are certified? Nyah, nyah, nyah, we have bona fide Christians in Seattle. Take THAT, St. Louis/or possibly Chicago!

  50. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:53 am [Reply]

    SFx Sunday: Man, I always loves me some Chez Weirdly action.

    (DT)GT: The new art looks encouragingly odd. Don’t much cotton to the new Gil per se, but love the claw’s beer bottle grappling redux in panel 2.

  51. Jonathan Bogart
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    Man, you can just hear the ominous music in Monday’s Mary Worth. Donna Amalfi’s life is about to get a thousand times worse, now that Mary knows she exists.

    Gil Thorp, though … yikes. Computer lettering is never a good sign.

  52. Mibbitmaker
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:06 am [Reply]

    More 4/7:

    9CL: Would that be Arthur the Aarkvard, The Ant and the Aarkvard, Elmo the Aarkvard, or Cerebus the Aarkvard it’s named after?

    A3G: Shush, man! The woman’s cousin is in the room!! Whaddaya think this is, “Arrested Development”?!

    Cleats: This is a good example of the following: every time there’s a side-view of a character talking in this strip, it looks like it was drawn by George Nicholas when he animated for The Flintstones (he did most of the animation
    in the 1st season’s ep “The Prowler”, as an example). The last thing I’m doing is complaining, of course.

    DtM: … or, more likely, “Dennis the Greek Tragedy”.

    DT: That last panel! It looks like this is all happening in a bad Dick Tracy Cloning Lab!

    GT: The new artist is here! I think we fans of the old, ironically oddball Frank McLaughlin art can probably say, “This looks like the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

    JP: Hey, lady, can’t you read that narration right next to you??

    MW: This Donna Amalfi wants books on family bereavement? Omigod, she’s somehow related to Aldo Kelrast, isn’t she?!!

  53. Loramir
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Monday’s Garfield is an excellent candidate for garfield minus garfield. Jon’s malicious triumph and grotesque, hostile face clearly reveals a dark and twisted pysche.

    MT: Elrod and Mark Trail seem to be equally uncomfortable/inept in dealing with pets rather than wildlife. Today’s strip reveals that Mrs. Suburban Housewife paid $1000 for the return of her giant squirrel instead of her dog.

  54. BenG
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    Lovin’ the new Gil Thorp. And the fact that Andrew Gregory has driven him to alcoholism.

  55. JP (not Judge Parker)
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:36 am [Reply]

    Sunday ‘Shaft: I think when ’shaft says the word “hat” he means “pants.” That is the only explanation for the alarming amount of ass captured in his license photo. I imagine it was part of an explosive fit he was having at the DMV photographer about long lines/cellphone woman/being alive.

  56. Aaron T.
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:40 am [Reply]

    Is that Comic Sans I see in Monday’s Gil Thorp and Dick Tracy?

  57. Mibbitmaker
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:42 am [Reply]

    MW: I went looking for anagrams for “Amalfi” and “Donna Amalfi”…

    AMALFI:
    Fail Ma (somebody, maybe Donna, failed their mom, thus she died?)

    famali (misspelling of “family”)

    DONNA AMALFI:
    (Nothing much out of all the possibilities listed. Then I noticed the word “Aldo” was in the above, and tried the remaining letters…)

    A man Aldo fin (Or, A man: Aldo. fin — meaning Aldo: the end.)

    Aldo main fan (Donna’s not only his relative, she’s his biggest fan???)

    Clearly, I’m up too late!

  58. mollificent
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    Luann: Brad, here’s a word of friendly dating advice: Keep your pie-hole shut at all times. Seriously.

    MW: *Mary’s eyes light up* “Counseling? Bereavement? Hot damn! My meddly-sense is tingling!”

    9CL: Hmmm, is that Brooke’s own Nicola making a cameo again? Have to check the Snark Ascending and find out.

    Dennis the Increasingly Creepy Menace: Okay, ew. Eeeeeewww. Was that really necessary?

  59. Brent
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:11 am [Reply]

    #43 (Mibbitmaker): Re. FOOB

    Actually, the Japanese have an official robot initiative that’s working on getting robots out into the public doing menial jobs by 2010 (with plans to expand into other areas by 2020).

  60. Geronimo
    April 7th, 2008 at 3:10 am [Reply]

    #59 Maybe the Weird-Bot in SF is a prototype of this robot incentive, that runs on solvent, fox blood and mackerel (her coloring reminds me of Danny DeVito in Batman Returns).

    That’s two Tim Burton reminiscent panel selections in two days; or maybe it’s subconsciously all in my mind, because I recently caught the electrifying conclusion to said sequel of unusual quality. allow a multi-media geek to opine and note. It’s too bad I feel like Burton went off and pitched his tent on the dark side of the six differences playground…

    Since I have veered off track and brought up film adaptations, can I just ask how people felt about the Spiderman movies? I felt like I’d been stabbed dully in the heart, or poked in the ribs at least, by a combination of poorly defined character motivations and dramatically underweighted, as in unbuoyed (in terms of tension, that is, ask a horrifically smirking Tobey Maguire) breastsses.

    And that was just the first film, I still cant watch the sequel.s?

    Billion-dollar toy and promo industry aside, did anyone else feel somewhat violated in a Mary Worth, better-not-to-dwell-too-much-on-it, kind of resolute, bandwagoney suppressed dejection? Or did I just miss something, besides breasts attached to a disappointingly called-in performance? Or am I just focusing on the wrong end of the tube top?

    Hell, though, if the guys who draw the crap can phone it in, why shouldn’t Kirsten be allowed? The girl can act, but excels at letting the bit be dropped if given… and not like the director was going to let or make her talk, because it may have muffled the sound of the breeze being piped between Maguire’s slung-off lone man webs and her sufficiently gleaming v-neck. between bouts of alt-mod-urban-pop-rock.

    tomboy literally literary critical rant

    humph

    but dig the Weirdly’s footwear muchly. it makeds me feel like a lot of uh modern equality feminist’s whole lot better. all warm and goth-green streaked-hair fuzzy inside.

  61. Arglebargle
    April 7th, 2008 at 3:34 am [Reply]

    Luann: Oh my God, how long has this nonsense been going on now? And how long will it continue to go on? This is one area in which Funky Winkerbean is superior to Luann: in Funky s**t comes to an end.

    Lio: Dick Tracy’s week just gets worse and worse.

    GF: Dude, what’s your lunch doing on the…never mind. I’m just going to back away slowly now…

    RMMD: Inventory update excitement! Becka’s going to pull a “Cabin Fever” scene on us, isn’t she? C’mon, face…peel off! Do it!

    Sally Forth: A diet of pudding and Toaster Strudels. And yet, she’s so thin. Hm. (Thanks for making me miss Ralph.)

  62. Eaquae Legit
    April 7th, 2008 at 4:09 am [Reply]

    Whuh huh? ANOTHER new Gil Thorpe artist? I hope this one is more surreal than the last one.

    RMMD: That nurse looks like she’s doing an Arnie-as-Terminator impression. Her lines are pretty funny if I imagine her saying them in a stilted Austrian accent. In fact, I imagine that she’s just trying to get Rex somewhere secluded so she can kill him. There’s no chance of him ever fathering the leader of the resistance (or fathering anybody at all), she’s just been sent to kill him because the world would be better off. Even the machines know that.

  63. gleeb
    April 7th, 2008 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    9CL: Don’t give me that, McDowner. I know Edda is uniquely cold and unpleasant. Besides, the other young woman is probably an undercover hippogriff.

    A3G: “So, you’ve kicked that smack habit?”

    Dick: “What? Dude, you said this job was just guarding hostages. No being killed by Dick Tracy. Bogus!”

    ‘bean: Having finished a job of work, as local ordinances rule, they eat at Montoni’s. I still don’t know who the young nondescript black-haired guy is.

    Rex: Aha! People giving each other rides! That’s how the nasty MRSA is spreading!

    Slylock: Did the shrew say from whom he bought it? That damn gator is running a scam.

  64. Eau de Plugger
    April 7th, 2008 at 5:31 am [Reply]

    Yes! Another shift in the (DT)GT continuum. Freaky hands are back! It looks like she’s going to thrust her fingers into his throat! The new hyper chiseled look Gil is disconcerting, but he does kinda look like a high school gym coach should.

  65. Inspector Dim
    April 7th, 2008 at 5:53 am [Reply]

    MW: Family bereavement? Counseling? Ooo, my meddle-y senses are tingling! …At least, I think that’s what that is.

  66. Little Guy
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:02 am [Reply]

    9CL and GA: Ah spring, when the 20-year-olds have their birthday. I’d liketo see an Amanda Lynn/Edda showdown.

    PBS: Sunday-to-Monday continuity? Well played, and oh so cuuuuuute!

    JP: Why is Dick Tracy’s fedora on Abbey’s bed? Has she been getting a bit of G-Man on the side? (and I thought a hat on the bed was bad luck)

  67. MDtoMN
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:09 am [Reply]

    The comics teach me that I’m a bad person . . .

    Normally, I’d hate all of the recent A3G happy-happy, “we’re so perfect together” stuff between the Blonde and generic white guy with chameleon hair, but since they’ve foreshadowed that he’s going to be busted as a drug dealer in the near future, I’m loving every minute of it. I can hardly wait for this vapid love affair to collapse under the pressure of incarceration, shame, and mockery. The image of Margo “comforting” her is a sweet, sweet promise.

    Meanwhile, in Brenda Starr, Josh is planning to shoot Dorita, and BOTH Dorita and Pris tried to convince him to not bring the gun by claiming it’s not manly. And now, they’re insisting that he not hurt Granny. I’ve never seen such pathetic attempts to avert an execution. And yet, Josh was stupid enough to let Dorita to handcuff him to a bed only a short while ago, so we can dream. Maybe Dorita’s constant attempts to out-smart him by simply insisting that he not execute her will be distracting enough that Brenda can burst in, throw Pris on top of the guy, and then defeat Josh with her magic star eyes?

  68. Baka Gaijin
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:13 am [Reply]

    Monday’s A3G: “Everything I’ve ever wanted is within my grasp.” What, LuAnn’s ass is all you wanted, Eric?

    Dennis the Menace: Ewwww. Calling Dr. Freud, stat!

    Garfield: Bizarro Garfield. Major funny.

    Lio: Proof positive that Tatulli is a Mudge.

    Hagar the Horrible: So that’s what happened to Pigpen!

  69. Tracer Bullet
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:24 am [Reply]

    (DT) GT: Kaz calls me Gil. The wife calls me Stallion. My bookie calls me Bastard. You can call me Thorp, Gil Thorp. I work at a high school. The kids call me Coach.

    I was relaxing at home with the little woman and I needed a drink. It had been a long week, between the Gregory kid and his old man and getting knocked out of the playdowns (I don’t know why they call it that). Again. Someday, somebody will notice we haven’t won anything in decades. But not today.

  70. anonymous
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:26 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft – I don’t know who this Crankshaft is, by the grace of the Comic Strip Gods we don’t get it in our paper. But I hate the very sight of him. He and Mr. Wilson from Dennis the Menace should be railroaded into the Cranky Old Codger’s Wing of the comicstrip retirement home, tranquilized, and forced to watch “the game” on the big screen TV for all eternity.

  71. smacky
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:28 am [Reply]

    Who in the hell is drawing Gil Thorp now? Is it different from the guy who drew it last week? It’s starting to look like bad internet fan fiction.

    And a logistical question: Why wasn’t Mr. Gregory the least bit shocked that his wife had ABANDONED his children? He just accepts it and goes to the basketball games to destroy Andrew’s self-esteem? What the hell? Did we ever get an answer to this?

  72. Niall
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:28 am [Reply]

    Is it tiem for commix now plis?

    A3G: “Boobs! Boobs are within my grasp!” (Blaze: “Ick!”)

    BC: Hah! Good quip.

    DtM: AUUUUGH Okay, okay, we take it back, you ARE menacing, now stop saying things like this!!

    DT: What the heck happened to the lettering?? And wow, I never noticed how much of the mood came from the crazy lettering style. Now they sound and look like robots.

    GF: That look on the guy whose name I never remember, in panel 1? More and more, that’s my reaction to this strip. I think I may drop it from my Chron page build by the end of the week.

    GT: … … AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    *shudders and whimpers*

    Why? Why did they do this to us???

    It’s.. it’s.. *shudder* anti-aliased Comics Sans!!!

    …oh, and the new artwork is going to fry the rest of my brain. Must reboot before continuing.

    H&L: I think the punchline indicates a mapapropism, but I have no clue what it could be.

    Big Dog: scoobydooRuh-Roh! Junkies!

    MW: …and by the end of the day, the hospital staff will find Donna Amalfi strangled by her own cord, the only way she could find to escape.

    Phantom: Panel 2: is that hot lesbian action? I mean, Waitress can only suddenly be sitting with Ladycop on her lap to be in that position. And now they’re going for some bump and grind action. This strip is getting x-rated!

    SFx: There are many disturbing things with today’s strip, but I can’t quite put my finger on what…

  73. Pozzo
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:51 am [Reply]

    Wow, you’re right, insane aviator bird, doctors’ offices DO have a lot of magazines, and they DO tend to be old! My friend, you have struck comedy gold!

  74. Pozzo
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:52 am [Reply]

    Oh, and beavers aren’t technically rodents…

  75. Calico
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    Countess Weirdly looks kinda like Jodie Foster.
    “the tail end of some kind of weeks-long mescaline binge.” – Hahahaha!

  76. Calico
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:02 am [Reply]

    Oh yes, and April is Bash Rod Johnston Month! Mark it on your calendars, kids!

    MW – I hope this poor woman, soon to be meddled into a coma, has supplemental insurance.

  77. Calico
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    #57 – Now THAT is truly weird, or…could it be deliberate?
    The only thing that came to mind was not an anagram, but rather “Dr. Melfi.” Brrr.
    The woman-who-askes-for-books will certainly need a shrink after Mary is finished with her, if she’s not dead from boredom, or in the previously mentioned comatose state.

  78. One-eyed Wolfdog
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:26 am [Reply]

    With this latest Marvin story arc (you may think the term overly grandiose, but look, even puke makes an arc, it’s just gravity), Armstrong has really outdone himself. Did any of us think it’d be possible to combine the virulent antihumor of “Belly Laffs” and the disturbing psychological implications of a preschool sex-symbol lust fantasy without diminishing the effects of either foul ingredient in the resulting comic gulyás? I would not have thought so, but the very, very alarming evidence is staring right back at me.

  79. Harry Merkin
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:34 am [Reply]

    Who are those people in Gil Thorpe today?

  80. Pozzo
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:37 am [Reply]

    I don’t care what anybody says…Countess Weirdly is HOT! When those glasses come off, watch out!

  81. AtomicDog of The K-9 Patrol
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    Marmaduke – Ya notice that you never see any male poodles in this strip? When Big Dog has the Gang over for snacks or mayhem, not a poodle to be seen. Frencies only appear when ‘Marm wants some hot doggie action. According to Anderson, every poodle on Earth is female.

  82. AtomicDog of The K-9 Patrol
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:39 am [Reply]

    Oops. That’s “Frenchies.”

  83. Girl Reporter
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    Family Counseling and Bereavement!!

    Mary’s meddle-meter just went to eleven.

    Poor, poor Donna Amalfi. She’ll be wishing for the sweet, peaceful embrace of Death. I picture her flipping madly to the final chapter as Mary natters away, bedside.

  84. Pozzo
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:45 am [Reply]

    As far as mescaline binges go, I can think of no other explanation for the “six differences” picture. Let’s see, a bulldog with a bandage choking a twenty-foot, one-fanged snake thats serving as a swing set for a stoned…what? Baby bulldog? Man, that’s blowing what’s left of my mind!

  85. Girl Reporter
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    Or, poor Donna will have the same reaction to Mary as all the passengers who have the misforture to be seated next to Ted Striker on that Airplane!.

  86. True Fable
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:56 am [Reply]

    A3G I swear I read that last panel as, “Everything I wanted to do is within my grasp” and I actually yelped, “Jeez, you could at least wait to do her until after her cousin leaves.”
    Baldo It occurred to me that, just like needing a hairy face in order to be a bad guy in the comics, Lazy guys are indicated by not being able to see their eyes. Here’s this doofus in Baldo, and Beetle Bailey, and Chip Flagston. And Thirsty McDrunktank. It may not hold true for all eyeless guys but the theory is holding up so far.
    Cathy (Must Die!) Day Two of Tax Shit. Today Cathy tries to pretend she didn’t buy anything for herself last year, but her accountant can tell she’s lying simply by the fact that she not dead and has sweat flying off her in all directions.
    DtM Yeah, any woman who apparently gives out Dirtsicles gets my vote for Mom of the Year. Meanwhile, Dennis: your shrink is calling.
    FBoFW Dare to hope that all that chopping and stirring in panel two, was Elly preparing Michaelloaf?
    FW So Darin, when are you going to become an alcoholic or a no-count loser like everyone else? Maybe we’ll find out tomorrow what his big burden is.
    (WTF)GT Ladies and Gentlemen, I think we have a winner in the Find The Next Awkward Artist Contest.
    JP Sweaterpuppies, wouldn’t you be happier getting rid of Marie and hiring SuperCedric the Butler instead?
    MT She paid all that money and didn’t notice it’s not even a dog.
    Marmadick Gross. Just gross.
    MW I like the way Family Counseling and Bereavement is highlighted, so we’ll know just what kind of spin Mary will need to put on her meddling.
    PMP I got a laugh out of this one, namely because I once tried to use my remote’s mute button on a know-it-all date. Yeah, that wasn’t clever but it worked. I had plenty of peace and quiet after the door slammed shut.
    RMMD Yeah, Becka looks really thrilled about getting a ride with Dr. Wonderful.
    S-M Spiderword for today: Flaccid.

  87. Stan
    April 7th, 2008 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    AH, Countess Wierdley has suppanted She-Hulk in my “Green Chicks I Might Bang” list. It is an extremely short list that I hope never to add to again.

    Ha, ha! Charlton Heston is dead. Seems the Shortpacked artist took a dare, and:

    http://www.shortpacked.com/d/20080406.html

  88. Old School Allie Cat
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:01 am [Reply]

    FW – So now that we’ve confirmed that Darin and Jess got hitched straight out of college, the rest of the week can be devoted explaining what happened to Mooch’s girlfriend Mindy:

    “Oh, well since Crankshaft didn’t make the jump, she’s still technically eighteen. Barely legal, just like I like ‘em.”

    Anyone want to bet that Chien and Pete are in an on-again-off again relationship? Friends with benefits? Something like that.

    Of course, none of this will matter when the big Monty Python foot crashes down and squishes them all.

  89. True Fable
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:05 am [Reply]

    # 87 Stan – “Let my 9mm go.” Oh Moses, Moses.

  90. Gene
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    Luann – My life has become so boring that I need Brad and Toni to start gettin’ busy(at least 2inthe p 1inthe s)

    SF – Why is it any of Slylock Fox’ business if he wants to overcharge for water? People have been doing that for years.

  91. Brick Bradford
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:17 am [Reply]

    DT I don’t know why I bother, but…..
    We’ve got two highly trained, decorated police officers and ONE UNARMED CRIMINAL! Liz is close enough to rip his nose off, plus she’s got one of his hands under control. Do our heroes join forces to take him down? NO. Liz snivels about wanting to be let go and Tracy panics because he can’t find his widdle gun.DICK! LIZ! KICK HIS ASS FOR GOD’S SAKE AND MOVE ON!

    All that, and we missed the crazy hot monkey love Sally Forth spent the whole weekend foreshadowing. Instead we get pudding and toaster strudel–which might actually be a good euphemism for crazy hot monkey love. Oh, does anyone beside me think the NY weekend and the goo goo eyes in the resturaunt might be leading to a little brother or sis for Hillary? Just a nice way to ramp up the pain of Sally and Ted’s employment issues. Wait, Batiuk doesn’t write this one. Never mind.

    I gather Mary Worth has finally moved beyond Tobey’s wide eyed adoration for Mary’s smug self satisfaction?

  92. Brick Bradford
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    #90 Yeah, next Shylock will be busting A Popular Coffee House Chain for charging high prices for coffee.

  93. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    DT: I am convinced that the text for today’s strip was written by a 12-year-old as part of a psychological evaluation. “Now, Tommy, what’s going on in this panel? Write what you think the people are saying.”

    FC: Awww, ain’t that sweet. Billy’s gone all corporate. I think that while she was pregnant with you, Billy, Thel’s favorite cartoon was Joe Camel. Or maybe The Fabulous Furry Freak Bros.

    GA: “Sturdivant! You deserve a good wife… but, I must admit, Amanda has an ass you could bounce a quarter off of!” “I’m glad you approve!”

    GT: We now join “At Home with Jake LaMotta,” already in progress.

    H&J: It’s time to play Match Game ‘76! Jamaal says to Herb, “Man, this popcorn sure is salty!” Herb replies, “Yeah, I know… but not as salty as _______!” What do you say, Charles Nelson Reilly?

    JP: For some reason, Abbey on a horse always makes me think of the Tigger song. “They’re bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, bouncy, fun fun fun fun fun!”

    MT: That’s not a dog Mark’s petting, it’s a…

    PreTeena: Please, Ms. Barrows, either rely on physical features to convey your African-American characters’ ethnicity like all the other cartoonists out there, or buy some Zip-A-Tone. The ghost of Al Jolson will thank you.

    RMMRSA: The Dick Tracy Fembots have invaded yet another strip. “THE INVENTORY PROCEEDED SATISFACTORILY THANK YOU I WILL NOW EXTINGUISH THE ILLUMINATION AND RETRIEVE MY OUTER GARMENT beep

    S-M: “What happens now?” That was me, before my lengthy prison stay. I’m Simon Krandis, and I’m always trying to plan ahead. That, and hiring a heavily muscled goon in an ill-fitting bottle-green suit to do anything that’s actually illegal, are just two of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective Crime Bosses you’ll read about in my new book. Endorsed by Oprah’s Book Club. Buy it today!

  94. Wanders
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    MW: Stephen Hawking performs Mary Worth’s monologue “My Compulsion to Help Others.”

  95. Little Guy
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    93:

    GA: The quote should be “Amanda has an ass you could bounce a Mutual Fund off of!”

    H&J: I say, “Amanda Lynn’s ass”.

  96. yellojkt
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:31 am [Reply]

    Hold out for legal gay marriage, Dennis. You and Joey may yet be able to walk down the aisle proudly.

    I long for those sweet halcyon days when the homoeroticism in Dennis The Menace was merely subtext. Someone remind me when that was.

  97. Gabacho
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:33 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth – I am so excited about the introduction of this new character, Donna Amalfi, in Mary Worth. It is a sure sign that Moy is through with boring plots that go nowhere at all and that the strip will return to the exciting and dramatic heights that we grew to love during the Aldo mania. I know it will be different this time. I just know it.

  98. teenchy
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:35 am [Reply]

    # 75: Jodie Foster? WIth that chin leading her into the room, I’d have guessed Reese Witherspoon was her inspiration.

  99. True Fable
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:37 am [Reply]

    #93 Spectacular Spider-Brick – We used to own a Feds ‘n Heads board game back in the day! We had a blast with it.

    Ah memories… like watching your sisters grow pale as your uncle the sheriff talks about the big pile of pot he and his deputies burned. “You burned it ALL?!?”
    He gave them a Look and said, “Well yes I did. YOU girls don’t smoke any of that shit, do you?”
    “Oh no sir!” as little halos formed over their heads.

    And me in the corner, cackling my head off at them.

  100. Tweeks_Coffee
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    A3G: I’m not sure if Blaze ditching the cowboy hat is an improvement or not. I mean, now he’s just a guy running around with a neckerchief instead of a cowboy.
    Blondie: The recession strikes Blondie. Of course the easy choice would be the guy who sleeps at work all the time. I don’t think Dagwood could pull off the unemployment thing as good as Ted Forth though.
    ‘Shaft: Wait, wasn’t The Shaft already president of the club? If not, I look forward to the upcoming coup.
    DtM: Why, oh why, is their ice cream the exact same color as Alice’s spade?
    DT: Now who the hell is that? Is that Mr. Lector or his assistant? Why does Liz think he’s there to save them?
    EC: Wouldn’t this tour be more effective if it was conducted by the archaeologist instead of a house mom?
    F-: This afroed kid has been in before, are they moving to recurring characters?
    GT: Hmmm, I’m not sure what to think of this new artist. On the minus side, he actually managed to pull off the perspective in that kitchen pretty well and Gil’s head generally looks like a human. On the plus side; Gil in the first panel looks bizarre at best and Mimi is clearly a drag queen. I guess I’ll hold my judgment until we see Kaz.
    H&J: I must confess, I actually snickered. Not at the main joke, mind you (Kids can eat anything and not gain weight! lol!), but Lois’ line amuses me.
    MT: There’s something deeply troubling about Mark’s anatomy in the second panel. His legs are troublingly short compared to his torso.
    MW: I see Mary offers her meddling services at the hospital as well. She just won’t be satisfied until all of Santa Royale is under her control.
    MC: Hmmm, Norm does actually look a little trimmer today.
    S-M: Was Krandis going for the back door of his limo?

  101. Calico
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:42 am [Reply]

    #97 You and Josh, dreamy dreamers…
    well, I’m hoping for that, too.
    If Donna can walk (or not) we’ll soon see her on a hospital balcony, threatening to dive into the atrium, if Mare doesn’t shut up.

    3G – “Everything I’ve ever wanted is within my grasp, right here in this little vial I never threw away.”

  102. man behind the curtain
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    A3G — I love the look of disappontment and jealousy on Blaze’s face as he realizes that ‘evrything within Alan’s grasp” does not include him.

    RMMD — Poor Becka. I didn’t know she had throat cancer and was speaking out of a voicebox in her larynx.

    Meanwhile, I certainly hope Abbey got a clean bill of health from the vet.

    MW — Methinks I spy foreshadowing. How will Mary’s new adventure relate to her past?

  103. Anonymous
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:46 am [Reply]

    53 — Monday’s Garfield would even make a great Arbuckle!

  104. Vice-Pope Chris
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:50 am [Reply]

    FOOB: OMG, Elly’s just ADMITTED she’s a Cylon!

    Wow. And here I thought the Cylon-human-builds were supposed to be SEXY.

  105. John C Fremont
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Foob – Look at this, Lynn… They’ve developed a robot that can write crappy comics!

    Lio – Next, Lio plants Dick Tracy’s hat on Abbey Spencer’s bed.

    MW – While volunteering at the hospital with Dave Foley…

    SFx – Where did Max get that ice cream cone? From the Pizzaria? And why is Count Weirdly’s bottle of solvent sitting by the side of the road? I need answers!

    RMMD – Hey, the Becka-bot 3000 is going to turn out the light and get its coat. That must be what John Patterson was reading about.

    JP – Damn, she’s putting clothes on!

    GT – Whuh?!

    FC – Again, don’t mention a good comic in your bad comic.

  106. velvet goldmine
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:54 am [Reply]

    Gil sure is walking funny as he pushes open the door to the package store. What the hell went on in the locker room today? The new drinking habit is probably just another sign that we’re dealing with GT, on the DL.

  107. Shermy Glamrocker
    April 7th, 2008 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    Charterstone parties certainly end abruptly, don’t they?

  108. gkl
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    MW: Compared to the flashback, a plotline about family counseling and bereavement looks like a really good time. Something about that is not right.

    GA: Some mothers sit up at night, dreaming about their child’s wedding. Mrs. Kleeb sits up at night, dreaming about her child’s divorce.

    GT: Gil’s a lush? The lettering is done by computer? Gil’s hair is a thunderbird? Has the whole world gone mad?

    MT: I’m sure the dognappers still have her money ready for convenient return, probably in a bag labeled “Ransom from Lady in Pink Dress”. That makes more sense than, you know, spending it.

  109. Inspector Dim
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    9CL: You know what you need to put things in perspective, Edda? A MAGICAL FUCKING UNICORN, that’s what!

  110. Islamorada Girl
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Brenda Starr: The current story is one of the best ever, as noted.
    But I keep getting distracted by the cats on Granny’s windowsill.
    They’re sort of like Chekhov’s gun- on- the- mantelpiece- in- the- first- act maxim. I keep hoping they’ll go off on evil Josh (not our Josh) in the third act.

  111. Ned Ryerson
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:12 am [Reply]

    MW: Y’know, some hospitals have professionals to help patients with family counseling and bereavement. But the meddling old biddy with a bookcart system is a viable alternative, I guess.

  112. Niall
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:14 am [Reply]

    100. Tweeks_Coffee: Kaz will be interesting, but remember that the true litmus test for a new GT artist is Marty Moon. This one promises. We already have the return of the Disembodied Claw, for starters…

  113. auRa
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:33 am [Reply]

    200 years from now, somewhere in the desolate pancontinental post-apocalyptic wasteland that once was North America, a lone figure stands, crumpled-up old newspaper in hand, and weeps silently at the carelessness of a time when water was flippantly priced at less than 2 dollars per flask by a cartoon fox.

  114. dimestore lipstick
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    The reason the Weirdleys are glad to see Slylock is because this illustration is actually from “The Case of the Missing Computer Keyboard”, and the Count is a victim, not a culprit.

  115. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    4/7

    9CL: Is “Aarkvard” a shout-out to Cerebus the Aardvark? If Brooke is an acolyte of Dave Sim, it would explain a few things.

    MW: I’ve never been happier to read the words “family counseling and bereavement.” At least the moping will have some content now.

    DT: So Dick either kills suspects outright or lets them get away and retake hostages. The word “arrest” is not in his dic(k)tionary.

    Popeye: “Oh yeah, baby, come to Wimpy.”

    Big Dog: Dear Lord, how many little Marmadukes are going to be running around the neighborhood?

    Luann: Toni is related to Emily the Strange?

    GT: The Rod Whigham era begins. For the last couple of months Gil has looked like Rock Hudson/Robert Mitchum/Ronald Reagan. Now he’s morphed into a trailer park Superman, and he’s boozing it up to get in character.

    A3G: Have we ever actually seen any of Alan’s paintings, old or new? If not, what is this “new direction” supposed to mean to us?

    BC: GOLF IS NOT A TEAM SPORT!

    FW: Will “relationship CEO” ever replace the trusty old “war department”? I hope not.

    H&L: Poor Hi. It’s one thing to get cuckolded and raise another man’s child. It’s really humiliating when that other man is Dagwood Bumstead.

    BB: Sarge is impatient for Beetle to go to bed. His feet are getting cold.

    PBS: Saddam was in a hurry, because he had to get back to the South Park Satan.

    Ziggy: You mean why is Ziggy not wearing pants? We all have that question.

    DtM: Joey is thinking, “Dude, I’m wearing a pink belly shirt and have been shaving my head since I was four, and I think that’s fucked up.”

  116. Justafoob
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    If Elly is a Cylon, would that make her Cyellery?

  117. cheech wizard
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:59 am [Reply]

    A3G – “Everything I’ve ever wanted is in my grasp.” Obviously, a job has never been one of Eric’s priorities.

    GT- Why couldn’t JP’s Barretto be the new artist for Gil Thorpe? Then we’d at least have some amazingly lithesome teenaged girls to whet our natural interest in high school sports at a place none of us attended.

    And what the hell is Gil doing drinking a BEER?!?!?!? What’s next, Sam and Abby having sex? Dick Tracy reading a suspect his rights? Mary Worth yelling at kids to get off her lawn?

    FW – Darin and Jessica have been married only six years? I can’t believe Batuik would have allowed her to remain an unwed mother that long. More to the point, I can’t believe he would have allowed them to engage in their single episode of teenage sex without dire consequences.

    Then again, the baby was probably born with a Grade 4 gliobastoma and a deviated septum, so we’ll probably be revisiting that tragedy at some point in the future. In sepia-toned panels. With the little photo holders around them.

    MW – Aren’t books on family counseling and bereavement pretty much hospital libraries’ stock-in-trade? People usually don’t go there for Jackie Collins, y’know.

    FOOB – Know thyself, Elly.

  118. hot toddy
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    The flask appears to be a one liter flask…if that is around 2 dollars worth of water it must be Perrier….

    Also, so what if Weirdly wants to sell a flask of water on eBay…I’ve seen stupider things being a decent price. Is Slylock secretly against capitalism?

  119. cheech wizard
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    115/ AFKA Ben – I think “Aarkvard” is Brooke and his daughter Nicole’s nickname for Harvard – she describes herself as a student at Aarkvard in her own blog, The Snark Ascending.

    Also, golf is a team sport at the high school, college and even professional level (Ryder, President’s and Solheim cup competitions). And a golf pro is sometimes referred to as “swing coach.”

  120. And The
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    DT: Man, Dick Tracy is just off the rails. Normally it’s stupid and repetitive, but now Locher can’t even keep track of what happened the day before on the strip. Let’s see:

    Tuesday: Dick climbs out of huge 12 foot, precious ceramic horse to confront villain with gun.

    Wednesday: Villain disarms Tracy with ridiculous hammer throw. Tracy’s a loser.

    Thursday: Villain stomps on Tracy’s hand and kicks him in the face. Yay villain!

    Friday: In closeup, villain holds a gun up to a pathetically wincing Tracy’s head.

    Saturday: For some damn reason, the idiot villain is straddling Tracy’s midsection to hold a gun to his head. This allows Tracy to somehow drive his knee into the villains posterior. Tracy knocks the villain helpless to the ground by this act and frantically looks around for his gun, being a complete coward without firepower.

    Sunday: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Sunday once *again* completely rewinds and rewrites history. We have the Trojan Horse, the hammer throw, the kick to the face, but Saturday’s events are damn near ignored. After the kick, the villain just runs away, leaving Tracy to again mewl pitifully about losing his precious, precious gun.

    Today: Villain grabs Liz, who for some damn reason asks if he’s there to free them. Everyone is talking like small children.

  121. Moggy
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: In the “Find the differences” thing… WHAT THE HELL IS HOLDING THAT SNAKE UP IN THE AIR?!?

  122. Bootsy
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    Niall, # 19 and # 20, I thought “nonpussed” was even funnier.

    # 27, the Crock, you say that like it’s a bad thing.

  123. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    #119 Cheech Wizard,
    I didn’t know that Brooke McEldowney’s daughter had a blog. Actually I didn’t know he had a daughter. Live and learn.

    I do remember my college having a golf team (maybe intramural). So my complaint was missing some nuance. It does look like Mason is trying to squeeze golf into the same pigeonhole as the BC strips on baseball and football.

  124. Little Guy
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    116: Please keep FOOB out of BSG! Next thing you know, Lee will leave his marriage to Dualla for a frolic with Kara while he laments that he has no hoooooooooooooome (as well as everyone else, thanks to the Cylons), and…..

    Oh. Crap.

    Lynn *is* writing BSG!

    That’s why “All Around the Watchtower” sounded like it was coming out of a Hose-a-phone.

  125. Little Guy
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:27 am [Reply]

    (And I should have said “Frak” instead of “Crap”. Who wants my Geek badge?)

  126. Paul K
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:31 am [Reply]

    Josh,
    Love the site, but leave the snarky comments for the professional artisits, really poor taste making a comment like that on a child’s submitted drawing.

  127. cheech wizard
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    123- Brooke links to it from his own blog, which is the only way I know about it. He sometimes posts old comics from an earlier strip he attempted and which makes 9CL look downright conventional by comparison.

    He’s also self-publishing another Pibgorn book – this one the “Midsummer Night’s Dream” adaptation that ran online last year. If you like his artwork, it’s worth checking out. Easily found through Google.

  128. Justafoob
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Cyellery is the twelfth cylon model.

    The BSG crew is going to make it to earth just in time for the Granthony-Liz nuptials.

    So say we all.

  129. Red Greenback
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    NYerCC: “The milage sucks, but the ultrasonic echolocation is great!”
    Oh yeah, back on topic: Crankshaft (and Cathy) Must Die!

  130. commodorejohn
    April 7th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    9CL – Hey! It’s Crazy Samurai Girl from Pibgorn!

    Archie – Archie elicited a chuckle from me today. I’m worried.

    Curtis – It is, Curtis. It’s a fad brought on by parents’ unwillingness to realize that the reason their children are morbidly obese is because they sit around on their asses all day and never actually get any exercise. But hey, if you want a burger, you could always bring your own lunch.

    DTM – um err uh AHH GET IT OUT OF MY BRAIN

    DT – What the…? Why Comic Sans? It just makes the strip’s egregious lack of punctuation that much more glaring.

    FW – This is Darin? Hey, he lost the penis-nose; at least somebody got something good out of the jump.

    GA – AHH ENOUGH WITH THIS ALREADY

    GT – More Comic Sans. Did some incredibly prolific comics letterer kick off the night before these strips were submitted? Also, yay, the new artist has started today. No improbably angular mutants yet, but there’s some nicely bizarre angles and scale in panel one, and you can tell the characters apart. Also, I like the idea of Gil turning alcoholic and becoming drinking buddies with Marty Moon.

    JP – Um, Abbey, just because your horse is named Shadow doesn’t mean you have to dress like the Shadow. Just thought you might like to know.

    Luann – Even small children can tell what a loser Brad is.

    MT – If you’re willing to pay a thousand dollars for a dog and it’s not for business purposes, you should be required by law to have a kid in order to get your priorities straight.

    Marmaduke – WHAT. THE. FDSYGFGUIOWERGFVSDK

    PBS – This strip just never disappoints.

    Popeye – “I shall peruse him constantly?” I actually used to write comics where the characters talked in mangled English not unlike that sentence.

    SM – Oh, so he wasn’t being badass after all, he was just trying to be helpful. Yep, that’s Spider-Man the comic strip for you.

    Edison Lee – John Hambrock is still bitter at Nader for helping to tip the balance of the 2000 presidential election in Bush’s favor. Much like another pompous, unfunny cartoonist, Lynn Johnston, he has decided to preach his petty little biases through his comic strip.

  131. Cold Eels, Distant Thoughts
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    Rod Whigham hits a freaking home run on his first day, with some major help from Rubin, having the terrifyingly jawed Gil Thorpe hugging Mimi with an open beer bottle. I wonder if Whigham demanded him to tart it up a little, or if Rubin is exploring new territory with an artist under the age of 106.

    Let’s say your Josh and you love sexually suggestive panels taken out of context. Just read the middle panel with your hands over the outer panels – you know Josh will. Hehehe, he said ’squeeze it in’.

  132. Anonymous
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

    126 – Re Josh commenting on child’s drawing: You are probably right, just as a matter of form. But, if it’s worth anything, I didn’t interpret Josh’s comment as derogatory toward the artist or artwork. On the other hand, I’m not fully convinced that that really IS the work of a child. It looks a little too professional!

  133. odinthor
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    GT — Mimi gets all amorous when Gil wants to “squeeze one in” before bed. OK, guys, hurry and take the fruit basket off the kitchen table. I just wish that in the third panel the neck of the beer bottle didn’t seem quite so phallic. No, actually what I mean is “Far freakin’ out–this new artist rocks!”.

  134. queek
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    as expected, the new artist for GT has attracted snark. :-)

    MG&G: buh-WHAT? a drunken Hello Kitty, how awesome!

    A&J: now that’s a bit of an involved joke, not the usual stuff.

    Zits: lazy. The one-panel Sunday strips are more visually inventive, this one’s just weak.

    HotC: Dean tries to be Charlie Brown, and is foiled by the Kite-Eating Stop Light.

    Lio: made of win, even more than usual.

  135. John
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    Wow, that’s kind of low attacking an eleven year old’s drawing. She’s 11!

  136. UncleJeff
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:08 am [Reply]

    GT: I think we have a new repository for the ghost voice of the late Charlton Heston: the new, improved (?) Coach Thorp. “Drop and give me 20 you damned dirty apes!!!”

  137. Oddball Turkeypanties
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    Can someone explain the “if all else fails” joke to me? I can’t seem to wrap my head around it in a way that would make it funny, so I’m hoping that there’s a cultural reference that I’m missing.

  138. Hugin
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    MW: Finally, the flashback is over. Time for MW to get her meddle on.

    GT: Gil hitting the bottle — nice (although only in comicland can one beer on a weeknight equal alcoholism). As far as the new artist is concerned, time will tell. He’s got the flattop and the odd sense of perspective, but can he draw weird, stilted figures allegedly engaging in sporting events?

    MT: Did neither MT nor the woman notice that the dognappers actually gave her a squirrel instead of her dog?

    FOOB: Elly, the good news is that in anther 15 years, you can program your kids like robots so that they will live their lives exactly as you wish them to.

  139. Zaq
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

    I, for one, am very hopeful about Rod Wigham drawing Gil Thorp. We’ve got, as previously noted, crazy angle, distinctive hair, insane perspective… we’ll need to check his sports action credentials, and his depictions of Kaz, but I offer tentative approval.

  140. velvet goldmine
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    #135 John, How old is she again?

  141. commodorejohn
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    #134 queek – I don’t even normally read Mother Goose & Grimm, but that was wonderful. I mean, Hello Kitty’s awesome to start with.

  142. Calico
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:21 am [Reply]

    #105 – Don’t worry too much about Abs putting clothes on-at least she’ll have her riding crop with her. Oh, wow, if only. Look out Sam!

  143. Calico
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:24 am [Reply]

    #126 – That comment was nothing.
    You should see Maddox’s site, if it’s still around.

  144. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    On the subject of the 11 year old’s drawing: I can’t speak for Josh, and context is everything. However, it should be understood that when Josh or the rest of us snark on something, that doesn’t necessarily translate to “Your drawing sucks.” For example, A3G gets its share of teasin’, but Frank Bolle’s skills as a draughtsman aren’t really in doubt. For the most part we’re jsut having fun here.

  145. Calico
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

  146. Zaq
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    137 Oddball Turkeypanties: To me, “If all else fails” immediately conjures up Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, in which you were given the sage advice, “If all else fails use fire.” But then I’m kind of a geek like that.

  147. Vice-Pope Chris
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    :snags Little Guy’s frakkin’ Geek Badge:

    #128 Justafoob: At which point, it will be revealed that the Pattercylons have already succeeded in infiltrating Earth, and Adama will declare a free-for-all bombing to cleanse us of the Deadly Cylons. Doomsday is nigh…

  148. Little Guy
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

    #147: Did I mention that Baltar was acquitted because Lee stood on a cafeteria table and made an impassioned speech?

  149. NotAGoatHead
    April 7th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

    ‘Ja notice there’s a pair of eyes in the tree checking out the beaver?

  150. Anonymous
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:05 pm [Reply]

    Okay so what’s it mean that Edda is the EXACT SAME AGE as McEldowney’s Aarkvardish daughter? Is Edda’s “saving myself for marriage” campaign a message to said offspring? Is this encounter at the high-heeled shoe display a message as well (“dear daughter, off with the grungy clothes! Tart yourself up!”)? And further, is there any significance to said offspring’s casual resemblance to Scimitar Girl in Pibgorn?

    Or is this whole bit just Brooke’s way of using his bully pulpit to brag on his kid?

  151. Justafoob
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    I always felt that Lee was “special”.

    Bring out the hosephonium. Anyone who can hear its mournful dirge is a Cylon.

    Frak the Foobs!

  152. True Fable
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Maybe the drawing is supposed to look like a beaver on the tail end of a weeks-long mescaline binge. If that is the case then it looks pretty good, too, so I’d say that 11-year-old is already far ahead of anything I can do.

  153. AhClem
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:15 pm [Reply]

    #111 Ned Ryerson – “Y’know, some hospitals have professionals to help patients with family counseling and bereavement. But the meddling old biddy with a bookcart system is a viable alternative, I guess.”

    All those professional counselors have been laid off due to cost-cutting measures taken by the HMOs that run the hospitals. Mary, on the other hand, will pay them for the privilege of doing that work. She loves preaching to a captive audience that doesn’t have the physical ability to run away.

  154. gnome de blog
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    I hope Whigham lets Coach Kaz have his earrings back.

  155. indrifan
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    152 True Fable – that’s more or less what I was just going to say. But I think that’s Methie the Happy Happy Hippo and not a beaver. I also think it’s a terrific drawing of a deranged-looking animal.

    Apropos of nothing, there was a very nice goat at cuteoverload.com recently.

  156. Luprand
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Oddly, the first thought I’d had when I saw the name “Donna Amalfi” was the play “The Duchess of Malfi” from my Brit-Lit class. I wonder if this means that “the poor dear” is looking for books on family counseling so she can find the best way to admit her infidelities to her husband.

    And then get strangled anyway.

  157. Joe, Upper-Evergreen FOOB-basher
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Shut the hell up, SmElly.

    SFx: ….heh…heh….come heeeere Slylock…….heh……..into my sex chamber, er, bedroom……..heh heh…….Cassandra Cat is in there…..heh heh………….she wants some action too…..heh….

  158. man behind the curtain
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    MW — Obviously, Mary’s supervisor is the only person in all of Santa Royale who is totally unaware that mary will not be able to merely bring Donna Amalfi some books but will be compelled to provide unsolicited counseling. Better yet, Mary can invite the entire Charterstone crowd down to the hospital for an intervention in Donna Amalfi’s room followed by tuna casserole in the cafeteria.

  159. indrifan
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    155 me – false alarm on the supposed goat sighting: I just read through the “commentroversy” and was convinced that it is in fact a lamb that looks very goatlike.

    Kind of makes me wonder about my ability to tell hippos from beavers. Hmm.

  160. One-eyed Wolfdog
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:43 pm [Reply]

    I don’t know what particular special resonance “Amalfi” was meant to carry, but unfortunately, for me, it conjures up a slush-mouthed Schmendrik the Magician making introductions: “…an’ dis, yer maj’sty, is der lady Amalfi-yuh.”

  161. dreadedcandiru2
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

    FBorFW: Not only do we have another repeat today, we have something nasty showing up in Elly’s Cofee Talk: a long, incoherent chunk of Astroturf from Corbeil advocating that Foob be taught in schools.

  162. One-eyed Wolfdog
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:49 pm [Reply]

    Hey, hey, who’s this sad feline imposter? “Moms love their wholesome good looks!” — wholesome? Oh, no, no, no.

  163. ar_d
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:52 pm [Reply]

    It might be fun if GT continued to have a new artist every 2 months. I vote for Stephan Pastis for next time!

    Also, Countess Weirdly is totally adorable! <3

  164. Perky Bird
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    #151 Justafoob– I think I’d pay good money for a “Frak the Foobs” shirt!

  165. Inspector Dim
    April 7th, 2008 at 12:59 pm [Reply]

    Pastis drawing Gil Thorp(e) would be awesome!

    Then maybe Bob Weber Jr. could take a turn.

  166. Inspector Dim
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: One anagram of “Donna Amalfi” is “Anal Dam Info.” Now here’s a Mary Worth plot I can get, er, behind!

  167. Paul1963
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    #123 Artist formerly known as Ben: Johnny Hart used to do golf gags in B.C. quite a lot back in the sixties. The paperback collections from that period are loaded with them.
    What’s this club called?
    That’s the “flanged niblic.”
    What’s it for?
    Well, if a ferocious niblic shows up on the course, you can flange it right in the mouth.

  168. Gold-Digging Nanny
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:18 pm [Reply]

    GT: It’s soooo nice to have the flattop back! I’m looking forward to some action sequences. Please, Mr. Whigham — bring the crazy!

    DT and GT: Ban Comic Sans!

  169. Diamond Joe
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    I’m really enjoying this site. I avoided life for a few days, reading the whole archive.

    Now, my premier comments:

    TOC: See, because long-named coffees with lots of options are pretentious! Fresh AND timely!

    RLA: Who says we’re not having any real dialogue about waterboarding and “harsh interrogation techniques” in this country? Look, it’s being used as a cheap punchline and everything! What else do you want?

    Suddenly, I’m picturing a German comic strip in 1944:

    (Hans drinking tea.)
    Hans: This tea tastes strange..
    Franz: It’s our new flavor. Ashes from Bergen-Belsen. We call it “The Final Solution.”

  170. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

    #167 Paul1963

    I like that. If I see an old BC paperback in a used bookstore, I always make sure to snap it up.

  171. Gold-Digging Nanny
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:34 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Yeeks! That chicken Plugger’s physique is downright grotesque. I’ll never eat a McNugget again.

  172. man behind the curtain
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    MW — Donna Amalfi anagram “I am N Aldo Fan”

  173. queek
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    141: MG&G seems to have gotten its groove back. Last week’s Fidel strips were funny, and its been awhile since I could say that about this strip. Like Foxtrot, it was getting stale at a rapid rate for awhile there.

    Total aside for Freep-reading Mudgions everywhere. What say you to a concerted e-mail campaign to get “LIttle Dog Lost” replaced by “My Cage” in the Freep? LDL is just sucktastic, and it offends my eyes to see it everyday, when MC is just so much better.

  174. rhymes with puck
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

    Today the Houston Chronicle debuted a strip called “Argyle Sweater”, which is now far and away the new front-runner among single-panel strips for the coveted position of “Most likely to be sued by Gary Larson for plagiarism”.

  175. Tweeks_Coffee
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    #174 – rhymes with puck: Geez, the art’s pretty heavily influenced. There’s even the line in place of the eyes. Not bad though, I like the Tootsie Roll IV detail.

  176. TB Tabby
    April 7th, 2008 at 1:58 pm [Reply]

    I never understood what the big deal was about Comic Sans. It’s only a font. I’ts not that hard to read. And it’s not that ugly. I wouldn’t even have noticed it if it hadn’t been specifically pointed out. With all the OTHER things wrong with these comics, comp[laining about the font just seems pedantic.

  177. Girl Reporter
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    Oh. No.

    I was sitting here reading the comments and thinking a little too much about Mary Worth, when I felt my expectations rise.

    Hmmm, I thought, I wonder if this Donna Amalfi will turn out to be someone Mary knows from Her Past?! Maybe Donna’ll turn out to be Mary’s little playmate, all grown up! With a terminal illness! Or maybe the little playmate’s kindly, now very very elderly, mother! With a terminal illness!

    Please. Help. Me.

  178. Darkefang
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Excuse me, Blaze, while I turn around so that I may better grope your cousin.

    GT: One day with the new artist, and already Gil Thorpe is turning noir. Today we see why Mimi hasn’t been seen for months. She’s left Gil for Frank Castle.

  179. commodorejohn
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    #162 One-Eyed Wolfdog – “Wholesome.” Haha, they have no idea. Pity their idea of “wholesome” wasn’t the schoolgirl outfit. I think the universe might have imploded in some kind of Big Crunch of pure awesomeness.

    #174 rhymes with puck – Yeeeikes. Is it time yet for society to impose a total ban on non-Far Side single-panel gag strips? I think it is.

    #176 TB Tabby – I agree. I actually find that it’s a decent little font, when used properly. The problem is that it is far and away the most overused typeface in existence, and it’s rarely employed in cases where it actually fits with the rest of the visual style (My Cage being a rare exception.) It certainly doesn’t work for either Dick Tracy or Gil Thorp.

  180. Marthas Rolling Pin
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:23 pm [Reply]

    GT: My first-glimpse impression of Whigham-Gil was that he looks like a jock just starting to succumb to the ravages of age, with touches of gray at the temples, and chiseled bod softening into lumpy lines. About time for Gil to start putting on a few years.

    And, just in time for baseball season, Clambake lives!

  181. Gold-Digging Nanny
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Hey everyone, good news!

    I asked the editor of the local alt weekly if he could use some freelancers, and he said he’d be happy to have me. He said he’s always liked my work on the local urban renewal agency.

    It’s a step down from the pay and stability of the place I was working at, but it’s a step up from unemployment, and I think I could get used to the flexible hours. And unlike with the local daily, I’m pretty sure the corporate culture will be a good fit for me.

    (Local daily … local urban renewal agency … I sound like Herb & Jamaal!)

  182. bats :[
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

    42. Loramir: I never paid much attention to the soapy strips until I started coming here, and having characters with the same names doesn’t help matters, so I sympathize. I think a lot of folks never quite get past the “A” section of baby name books, so that those names tend to circulate more. (I do “name stuff” with the Society for Creative Anachronism, and we are awash in begins-with-an-A names!)
    This might help:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2395999365/sizes/o/

  183. gump worsley
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    News of a sort:
    Tom Batuik was a Pulitzer finalist for his FW series on Lisa having cancer.

    He didn’t win, but was one of the three named finalists.

  184. Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    #174 – I read that comic for a couple of months, but stopped because 1) It wasn’t funny, and 2) It would show a week of new strips, and then for the next two weeks it would show the same strip over and over. Finally just deleted it in frustration.

    I like Gil Thorp’s new artist so far. He maintains the same sort of style the comic originally had. It’s not GREATLY drawn, but at least it has some personality, unlike Bolle’s version.

  185. Islamorada Girl
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:44 pm [Reply]

    181–Go, Gold Digging Nanny! And you can still collect unemployment!

  186. Arglebargle
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    181, Gold-Digging Nanny: Congratulations!

    173, queek: Please don’t say “Freep.” Or “Freeper.” Their more political definitions tend to trigger fire- and/or s**t-storms.

    135, John: An eleven-year-old? Searching through over a hundred comments in a niche snark site in a quest for recognition, only to find tearful butthurt? Unlikely. So I e-mailed a direct link.

  187. Diamond Joe
    April 7th, 2008 at 2:58 pm [Reply]

    DTM: Joey seems to be sporting an upside-down version of this site’s logo. Or the sun from today’s Mutts.

    MW: Did their colorist take the afternoon off, or does the hospital put grey covers on all their books so the colorblind don’t feel bad?

    HtH: Yes, they want to keep Norway clean! That’s why they won’t let Dirty Dirk be away at sea most of the time.

    FC: So these kids malaprop all over the place, but they know how to use “pilots” as a verb?

    BF, third panel: Gadzooks! She makes Blondie look like an A-cup.

    Buckles: Based on the skewed physics of that dog food, I’m guessing they bought it from Acme.

  188. gnome de blog
    April 7th, 2008 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    183 Gump:
    I didn’t know bathos was a criterion for selecting Pulitzer nominees. Obviously, the College of Comix Curmudgeon Cardinals should be the nominating committee for anything to do with cartoons.

    By the way, did you ever wish you’d started wearing the mask earlier in your career?

  189. Artist formerly known as Ben
    April 7th, 2008 at 3:09 pm [Reply]

    #181 Dold-Digging Nanny
    Congratulations. Continuing the H&J theme, it’s nice to read good news on the Humorous Website.

  190. OverCat
    April 7th, 2008 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    GT: I swear, when I saw Gil in that first panel I thought the Dick Tracy artist was drawing it now.

    And just look at Mimi’s reaction to Gil’s plan to “squeeze it in before dinner.” Mee- oww.

    Bring on the booze and hot, hot coach action!

  191. commodorejohn
    April 7th, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    #190 OverCat – I kinda wondered about the prospect of Gil Tracy as well, but the essentially human (if still strange) hands with approximately normally-proportioned fingers mean that it couldn’t possibly be the case.

  192. She-Weirdly
    April 7th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    I’m not sure i understand – is the father-dog strangling that snake because the snake was trying to trick the puppy into a false sense of security and then eat it? Or is the father-dog so desperate for a swingset for junior that he’s forcing the snake to completely disregard all the laws of physics and hold up that swing? Either way, just looking at it WEIRDS ME OUT.

    (Formerly ArbuckleLovesLyman)

  193. Flipper
    April 7th, 2008 at 4:05 pm [Reply]

    #183 gump worsley: It’s nice that the Pulitzer Prize Board agrees, but we already knew Tom Batiuk was a loser.

  194. Buck Ripsnort
    April 7th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    MG&G: How the hell can Hello Kitty drink when she doesn’t even have a mouth?

  195. gump worsley
    April 7th, 2008 at 4:13 pm [Reply]

    I hope my post was not seen as any sort of endorsement of Batuik-ness. I don’t think I could handle being thought of as the type of person who likes FW.

    Maybe I could’ve written clearer if I had worn a mask earlier.

  196. kingklash
    April 7th, 2008 at 4:16 pm [Reply]

  197. Ukulele Ike
    April 7th, 2008 at 4:45 pm [Reply]

    GT: “A beer?… On a weeknight? Where’s your usual pint of rye and Vernor’s chaser?” And I’m not seeing “Superman,” here. Not with those eyebrows. This new Gill Thorrpe is evil.

    9CL: She was recognized? Surely, Edda was not dancing a lead role? I thought she was more of a spear-carrier, somewhere in the back row of the corps.

    What happens to old ballet dancers, anyhow? The ones who didn’t bother earning a college degree? Is Edda going to find out?

    MT: With a thousand dollars, I could buy a lot of dogs.

  198. AhClem
    April 7th, 2008 at 5:10 pm [Reply]

    #197 Ukelele Ike –
    Vernors!! I grew up in Detroit and was weaned on that stuff. Being a minor, though, I skipped the pint of rye.

  199. Portia
    April 7th, 2008 at 5:36 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: “Pythons don’t have poison! Nope. They squeeze their victims until they [the victims, not the pythons] stop breathing. Have a nice day, kids!”

  200. Brick Bradford
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:04 pm [Reply]

    Vernors is the drink of the gods.

  201. Harold
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    Count Weirdly’s assistant/daughter/wife/thing is kinda cute. Maybe she will become a regular, and eventually have wild adventures with Cassandra Cat!

  202. cheech wizard
    April 7th, 2008 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Re: Vernors – Ah yes, nice to see the Michiganders stand up and be counted. Though I was never big on the stuff, probably because I didn’t grow up here, but came here for college and stayed. As a result, my local brew of choice was always Stroh’s, but they packed up and left long ago, like so many others.

  203. queek
    April 7th, 2008 at 9:20 pm [Reply]

    186: que? Its the local name for the Free Press, they even use the name as their website.

  204. Lisa
    April 8th, 2008 at 12:17 am [Reply]

    (Wow, that’s kind of low attacking an eleven year old’s drawing. She’s 11!)

    What is this referring to?

  205. Arglebargle
    April 8th, 2008 at 3:00 am [Reply]

    203 queek:

    I know, I know, but it’s also shorthand for FreeRepublic.com. Politics = flaring tempers = baaaad juju.

    (Seriously, I’m just kidding and mistakenly assumed you knew of this other Freep. It’s not a big deal.)

    204 Lisa:

    Final line of the original post above, regarding the Slylock Fox strip.

  206. Just_human
    April 8th, 2008 at 8:43 am [Reply]

    I was on vacation this past week, visiting my aunt and uncle on the east coast. They have Slylock Fox in their newspaper, so I was able to read it for the first time not online.

    It was weird being able to actually read the solution. I half expected it to be grainy and just barely readable.

  207. Godard
    April 8th, 2008 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    I think that when the bulldog punches the snake, the snake will realize that he’s been breaking the law of gravity, and we all know what happens in Looney Tunes when that moment of clarity is reached. The baby in the swing will come crashing to the ground, and the bulldog will forever regret his hot temper that caused the boy to take a trip to the hospital. Obviously this isn’t the first time the bulldog has caused problems… that bandage on his chin tells us that he’s been in scraps before, and probably over less than a debate over playground construction.

  208. Eridani
    April 8th, 2008 at 10:02 pm [Reply]

    That beaver is either really smug, or really stoned.

  209. Carly
    April 10th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    By “smuggest” beaver, you mean highest, right? That beaver is stoned.

  210. seema
    July 23rd, 2008 at 5:21 am [Reply]

    Hi

    Your blog is very informative n helpful .. thanks…..keep it up.

    http://www.seostep.net

  211. lalit sharma
    September 20th, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    i m confused all about it…..

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