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Saturday is for the ladies

Dick Tracy, 4/12/08

Many have complained that Chief Liz has been relegated to the typical hapless female victim role in the current insane Dick Tracy storyline, despite being, you know, the actual chief of police. Today, she gamely tries her hand at Tracy-style crime fighting by attempting to actually rip the villain’s face off of the front of his skull. She is soon neutralized by a well-place elbow to the chin, but, hey, points for giving it a go.

The Phantom, 4/12/08

Liz needs to take some tips from our lady cop/waitress pair if she really wants to know how to take down a baddie, though: pump hot lead into him, then taunt him as he lies bleeding at your feet. The Ghost Who Only Hires Sadists has a slight smile, indicating that Kay and Hawa have at last passed the callousness threshold needed to enter the Jungle Patrol.

Family Circus, 4/12/08

“Didn’t they know you were a girl, and thus should only have been educated to the extent necessary for child-rearing and food preparation?”

And a couple of fun panels for you:

Panel from Spider-Man, 4/12/08

I wish we could get to see the proceedings of New York State Superior Court, Bribery Division, in which a jury will determine if Simon Krandis can, in fact, buy his way out of prison. Certainly it would be more interesting than the three weeks of Peter Parker whining and watching TV that we’re actually going to get.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/12/08

Among the small but very enthusiastic group holding a pretty specific fetish, today will go down in history as The Day June Morgan Ate A Cheeseburger With Her Big Sexy Teeth. Rex looks miffed that nobody wants to see a close-up of him pecking away at his spinach salad.

183 responses to “Saturday is for the ladies”

  1. fishmorgjp
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    Holy cow — I can’t believe Lector’s right ear is still attached after Liz did her damndest to taer it off!

  2. Vakar
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    As for Family Circus, I wondered the same thing as a kid. Let me just nip off and shoot meself.

  3. Eric Costello
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Just for the record (since I’m a New York lawyer), the trial level court in New York is the New York Supreme Court, the level above that is the Appellate Division of the Supreme Court, and the top level is the Court of Appeals.

    Yes, I know our bottom level is the Supreme Court. That’s New York for you. (There are historical reasons for this that I won’t bore you with.)

  4. AhClem
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Except for better art, writing and dialogue, June’s cheeseburger close-up is horribly reminiscent of a similar FOOB happening a couple of months ago. Sorry, but I don’t have the stomach to go look it up.

  5. JP (not Judge Parker)
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:37 pm [Reply]

    Waitress Kay could take down Chief Liz, it seems. What an indictment of the Chicago Police Force training! (Err..that’s where they are, right? I don’t follow DT much.)

    Jeffy could have pointed out that Mom probably didn’t get a degree in “art” or anything that could be considered an “art,” but opening up the can of worms that is gender bias in education is way funnier! Haha!

  6. kelsy
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    What I love about many comics (The Phantom, Rex Morgan, etc.) is their preservation of that timeless, early ’90s style. The androgynous hairstyles, high-waist pants, and the inevitable pairing of jeans with jean jacket. Thank goodness someone is keeping this world classy.

  7. Jonathan Bogart
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    @5: As far as I know, Dick Tracy has never established just what city it’s supposed to be set in. But yeah, it’s Chicago.

  8. BCist
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

    Everybody gets something after six years at Arizona State, Billy. Usually alcoholism.

  9. Non-Shannon
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    I’ve learned through my travels on the internet that there’s actually quite a market for “Oh, dear me! I’m being eaten by a sexy giantess!” pseudo-porn. So this June thing, well…I imagine that cheeseburger is getting photoshopped into a tiny man by someone out there right now a la this Nicole Kidman photo. (SFW)

  10. Tlachtga
    April 12th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    Brenda Starr: This is one of the most awesome things I’ve seen all week. I only wish the same thing would happen in Mary Worth.

  11. cubiclemonkey
    April 12th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    I actually thought Billy meant that they simply would’ve refused awarding her a diploma if they knew she were a woman. At least that’s what I’m assuming the Keenes have raised him to believe.

  12. Trilobite
    April 12th, 2008 at 4:32 pm [Reply]

    Oh, yeah, Saturday’s comics…let’s see what we’ve got:

    Funky Winkerbean: Wait, Mopey Pete actually owns a comic book worth $40,000? Since when? And why would he think for even a moment that he was keeping it in a storage locker instead of in a display case, or in a safe deposit box?

    Still, considering that comic book writers typically don’t get health insurance, it’s good to know that he’s got some assets he’ll be able to cash in to pay for next year’s chemotherapy treatments.

    Gil Thorp: Hey, look, Elmer Vargas’s dad is getting some kind of award…and also painful stomach cramps from the Rubber Chicken a la Rotary Club.

    Mark Trail: It’s heartbreaking to see how modern newspapers have failed the communities they serve. How is it that these criminals have never read a single article describing the way that Mark Trail punched the living hell out of a hairy-faced smuggler? Or the way he savagely beat a gang of hillbilly petnappers half to death? No, instead it’s all ads and headlines reading “Gee, Puppies Are Swell!”

    Shape up, Vague City Journal — the people have a right to know what kind of bare-knuckled justice is getting served up in their town!

    Mary Worth: If you had to pick a single image that captures Mary’s attitude towards anyone who sets up a situation for meddling and then says “It doesn’t look like that’s going to happen,” it would be the one in panel two: Mary, arms primly crossed, with an insufferably smug look on her face. “You just wait and see, Donna…by this time next month, your feuding sons will be hugging each other over your deathbed. And their lives will be completely ruined, too, but you can just consider that a bonus.”

  13. onetet
    April 12th, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    In what world is “Not by MUCH we didn’t!” a reasonable response to “Y-you shot me!”?

    Oh, right… the world of The Phantom. Carry on.

  14. arto
    April 12th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    In all fairness, Chief Liz did one hell of a job trying to apprehend ol’ Chiaroscuroface Chippendale there, for somebody whose arms are no more than eighteen inches long.

  15. Howard
    April 12th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    I love how camp Spiderman can be sometimes.

  16. Rhekarid
    April 12th, 2008 at 4:49 pm [Reply]

    “Not by much?” What does that even mean? Was he only a little bit shot? Did they use tiny bullets, or shoot his stand-in? I always thought that people only came in “shot” and “not shot” varieties.

    On the other hand, the writer of the Phantom probably thinks this is normal English due to daily life. “I thought up a strip!” “Not by much you didn’t!”

  17. Poteet
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    I agree that her teeth are in gorgeous condition, but that’s still much more of June’s lower face than I ever wanted to see.

  18. minor flood
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    As they say, sooner or later, no matter how your try to hide it, your age starts to show — as displayed by today’s family circus, with Billy’s dramatically receding hairline cruelly placed into full view.

    Now that I’m thinking about it, the rest of what’s left on top looks like it’s combed over!

  19. Poteet
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:16 pm [Reply]

    I still think that PHANTOM villain looks like an escapee from a college English Department. A formal high-class English Department, given the suit. I half expect him to launch into Mercutio’s “‘t is enough, ‘t will serve” speech from ROMEO AND JULIET.

  20. RaJ
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:19 pm [Reply]

    The second panel of Dick Tracy… is that a ghost under Chief Liz’s flailing right hand? Really? Did the Dick Tracy artist actually draw that, or is it just the manifestation of readers’ collective disbelief? Also, wouldn’t it be cool if it were the villain in the next storyline? Tracy would try to assail him, while the ghost just runs around yelling, “Not physiologically possible! Not physiologically possible!” And I’d believe in God again.

    You know why the Phantom is still sexist? When Lady Cop and Waitress are shooting a person up, everything turns a pretty pretty purple. Also, the shadow on the villain’s back becomes a heart. All
    it needs is a dolphin orbiting Saturn, and I’m back in middle school, staring at my old Trapper Keeper. Wishing I were armed.

  21. RaJ
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Also:

    If I were Thel, no way would I let Billy hold my Bachelor’s. “Stay away, son. Representations of knowledge are sharp, you are going to cut yourself.” Then again… ignore that first sentence.

  22. .303 Bookworm
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    Since her diploma appears to be printed in blood, I’m guessing Mommy graduated from the Scholomance.

  23. Poteet
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    JP — Any bets as to how long Shadow will be left waiting next to that tree? I say he’ll be lucky to get out of there by the Fourth of July.

  24. Andrew
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:28 pm [Reply]

    I’ve been waiting for you abuse of…I mean commentary of the current Gasoline Alley series. Or is it so bad that even you can’t make more fun of it that it already seems. I mean I figured people would work some of this stuff out before they got engaged…I guess not.

  25. Ukulele Ike
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    DT: It was last year, beginning with the insane Duelling Casinos/Big Diamond/Glass Doorknob Plot — all the bad guys were named after playing cards, the Villain was called “Royal Flush,” and Tracy teamed up with a woman who looked just like the Queen of Diamonds and later on betrayed him and fell into a smokestack and was roasted alive — that Locher decided it would be a cool idea to have the evil people’s faces shrouded in shadows 24/7. He’s been doing it ever since, even though it’s a pretty damn stupid idea.

    This guy is just a henchman, y’know? We haven’t even seen Mr. Cole Lector yet. I’ll bet he’s only five foot four with no chin and resembles Caspar Milquetoast.

  26. Poteet
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:31 pm [Reply]

    # 22 bookworm — Thanks! Cool, now I looked it up and know what the Scholomance is! There should be some way to get college credits for time on this site.

  27. Benjamin Baxter
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

    Not that I judge or anything, but I’m just not sure what value Mr. PlasticFace sees in kissing his crossbow.

    http://awaitingtenure.wordpress.com/

  28. Mike P
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    As a Blogger dedicated solely to the Spider-Man strip, I must say that we will not get three weeks of Spider-Man watching TV. Based on prior strips, we’ll get a scene of the Parkers at home (perhaps with Mary Jane in a form-fitting nightgown) and, most likely, Peter bemoaning the fact that he works for Jonah Jameson (ignoring the fact that he’s actually a freelancer and sells his photos to Jameson out of some odd loyalty) when the old goat inevitably withholds Peter’s money for bringing in Krandis because it was Spider-Man what done it. Then, some super-villain who is usually pretty neat in the comic books will show up and proceed to be really lame.

    I know it’ll be a super-villain because they switch off. Gangster-type guy, super-villain, etc.

    My name links to my blog, by the way.

  29. brb
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:45 pm [Reply]

    The best part of that third Phantom panel is that Devil looks like he’s the brains of the outfit.

  30. Diamond Joe
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:48 pm [Reply]

    #13 onetet & #16 Rhekarid:

    The way I interpreted it was “You tried to shoot us first, and if you’d had slightly better aim, we’d be the ones lying here shot, not you, so quitcher bellyaching.”

    Of course, the odds that he could have shot both of them before one dropped him are practically zero, but never mind.

  31. mollificent
    April 12th, 2008 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    Attn: commodorejohn: Just supposing I was feeling sort of insane and thought I might actually attempt your “Master of Puppets” cover…(a daunting task)…How long do you want it? Do you want the whole flippin’ thing (minus guitar solos o’course) or just a particular verse or two?

    (yes, I know it’s been a week. Some concepts need to marinate in the brain longer than others. ;) )

  32. Saluki
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    #12 Trilobite,

    Would that “this time next month” be Mary Worth time or our time. Which would be about a year.

  33. El Santo
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    Count me in the June-Morgan-Eats-Anything Fetish Club. I still have her toast eating picture somewhere on my hard drive. Grrrrrr….

    Also, shooting someone and calling them a cry-baby? That’s stone cold.

  34. PeterW
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:12 pm [Reply]

    Baby Blues: ew.
    Overboard: ew.
    Hagar the Horrible: Lucky Eddy understands something!
    Crankshaft: Ed correctly used a cliche!
    PC & Pixel: I have no idea what the dvd player is doing, but it looks like a seductive dance.
    Speed Bump: ew ew.

  35. Godzooky
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    Busy work week, trying to catch up on comments. Just to chip in:

    1. Re: Soup To Nutz: Nice strip, the cast is sort of generic (yet another white, middle-class family), some character-based humor, some situational jokes, occasionally gets a smile, don’t remember it ever making me laugh out loud. Interestingly, every once in a while, Rick Stromoski sneaks in some mild liberal-oriented commentary (which I tend to agree with) and makes a strong suggestion that, in young Andrew’s case, nature may be winning over nurture.

    2. Re: Six Chix: I can understand the complaint about the small, droopy breasts in this strip., but be thankful Michael Turner isn’t the artist. Unless you’re into flotation devices, that is…

  36. benro
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – I’d be willing to bet that the cause of the MRSA outbreak will turn out to be infected hamburger meat, and June (who no doubt likes her cheeseburgers cooked bleeding rare) is getting infected as we speak. This being Rex Morgan, we still have a week to warn her before she actually sinks her teeth in.

  37. John C Fremont
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Big Sexy Teeth. I like the sound of that. Not as much as Big Perky Breasts, but still.

  38. The Craig
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:35 pm [Reply]

    And thus, little Billy unwittingly sets the stage for a discussion of his mother’s sex-change operation.

  39. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:41 pm [Reply]

    I am laughing out loud. Thank you people.

    No energy to be funny myself today.

  40. mollificent
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    P.S. commodorejohn: I’ve got something recorded that just might work. If we can figure out a way for me to send it to you, I’m happy to (and if you want it slower, faster, more jazz hands, etc., that can happen easily).

    Or if you want to forget the whole thing, that’s cool too. ;)

  41. commodorejohn
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

    #31 mollificent – The whole thing would be great, in the best “creepy little girl from a horror movie” voice you can muster ;D

  42. commodorejohn
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:46 pm [Reply]

    As far as sending it to me, you could either try sending it directly as an email attachment (to my username plus @gmail.com,) or put it on a file upload site and send me the URL.

  43. mollificent
    April 12th, 2008 at 6:52 pm [Reply]

    Commodorejohn: I’ll try the FTP, and then if that doesn’t work I’ll email it. Assuming I can get the file nice and compact. :)

    It’s pretty creepy already, but I just put this weird Celestial Spring effect on it for fun (weird background noise with echoes). I think I just gave MYSELF nightmares. ;) But I’ll send you the normal one, and then if it’s not too huge I’ll send you the other one too. An embarrassment of riches!

    P.S. It’s a cappella…wasn’t quite sure the harp was the sound you were looking for. ;)

  44. commodorejohn
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:08 pm [Reply]

    #43 mollificent – Fantastic! I can’t wait to hear what you’ve got. And yeah, a cappela’s cool; I was planning on doing the instrumental part myself (I’m thinking recording it at half-tempo and then doubling the speed should get the sort of effect I’m looking for.)

  45. mollificent
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Done and done! :D

  46. mollificent
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    Oh, by the way, I slowed it down QUITE a bit…I think the original was a little under 120 bpm, and I did it at about 72. But any faster and it kinda lost that creepy “ring around the rosy” quality. :D I can always do it again. I do think my neighbors are wondering what the bloody hell is going on in my apartment today. *evilgrin*

  47. teddytoad
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:13 pm [Reply]

    What do you suppose Mama Keane’s degree is in? Housewifery? Home Economics, with a Minor in Imprudent Tolerance for Unacceptable Behavior? (Also known in some schools as “Communications”)

  48. mollificent
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

    Teddytoad: I believe it’s known as “Demestic Science” these days. ;) With a minor in Pediatric Behavioral Studies, which I’m sure Thel would have flunked with flying colors if she wasn’t extremely friendly with her professor, if you know what I mean and I think you do.

  49. Eridani
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

    Mommy Keane in the background looks like she’s writing a suicide note. She has probably thought about it for years now, and has finally sat down to start it once and for all, only to be interrupted by Jeffy’s inane ramblings. Her mind has finally cracked, which would explain her blank stare.

  50. Harry Paratestes
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:21 pm [Reply]

    When I saw that pic of June’s mouth, all I could think was ‘Wow, Roy Lichtenstein’s risen from the dead, and he’s got a mean oral fetish this time around”.

  51. Harry Paratestes
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:24 pm [Reply]

    Billy: “Didn’t they know you were a girl”?
    Thel: “Well, don’t tell your dad, but I wasn’t a girl at the time…”

  52. misskittyfantastico
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Does anyone here notice that in family circus, its Billy’s mom who is behind the infamous family circus writing desk?
    What is she doing there? Why are they showing her diploma when they have never even cared to say she was educated past kindergarten?
    Is this a subtle hint that the strip will soon be written by a female Keane? If so, I think we will be getting a lot of strips about Billy’s unsensitivity and Jeffie’s stupidity. Well, more than usual.

  53. Loopina
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:35 pm [Reply]

    BMofEL: Apparently, this strip was feeling left out when Billy did those product placements earlier this week. At least it wasn’t another historical figure (or character from a random tv show).

  54. bats :[
    April 12th, 2008 at 7:49 pm [Reply]

    4. AhClem: flickr.com is being poopy at the moment, but eventually you might be able to compare and contrast June with other voracious eaters:
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2407536223/

    (I don’t know why flickr does this. It’s usually on the weekend. Maybe everyone is doodling with their accounts.)

    8. BCist: hmmm, Thel’s diploma looks more like a “University of Gargle” diploma. And while I don’t relish the thought, instrastate rivalry and being a University of Arizona alumna makes me boast that you can get something (like alcoholism) at UofA in a mere FOUR years! Bear down!

  55. Dub Not Dubya
    April 12th, 2008 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    Yesterthread Mollificent and others: if you enjoy the camp value of Nancy Drew books, do check out Mabel Maney’s brilliant parodies, “The Case of the Not So Nice Nurse” (crossover with Nurse Cherry Aimless), “The Case of the Good for Nothing Girlfriend,” and “A Ghost in the Closet” (featuring the Hardly Boys.) Hilarious stuff.

    Also, there’s an interesting essay called “How Gay Were the Hardy Boys?” which you can see at http://www.10zenmonkeys.com/2007/10/29/how-gay-were-the-hardy-boys/

  56. NightRaven
    April 12th, 2008 at 8:10 pm [Reply]

    To me, the “not by much we didn’t” comment reflected their poor aiming skills, meaning that most of their shots actually missed the bad guy… which makes it a very odd taunt indeed….

  57. Pepperoni Détournées (formerly Herro!)
    April 12th, 2008 at 8:17 pm [Reply]

    #3 Eric: I don’t feel sorry for you. Try being in California, which seems to have a weird fetish for being the first at everything. Pretty much every day in class, my torts professor says something to the effect of “…and, of course, California is the front-runner for…” I’m only sticking around long enough to take the bar, because I figure if I can handles the CA bar, I can handle anything. Maybe I’m a masochist…

  58. Gold-Digging Nanny
    April 12th, 2008 at 8:33 pm [Reply]

    Hi and Lois — I kind of did that once. It was a grounder, not a bunt. But the infielders kept throwing the ball over the heads of the basemen.

  59. Gold-Digging Nanny
    April 12th, 2008 at 8:37 pm [Reply]

    PLUGGERS-JUDGE PARKER CROSSOVER! PLUGGERS-JUDGE PARKER CROSSOVER!

  60. the houseanarkist
    April 12th, 2008 at 9:12 pm [Reply]

    Why is it that you cant be ironic about your own style?

  61. BigTed
    April 12th, 2008 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    It may take two hands to handle a Whopper, but what’s really amazing is the way June gets an entire conversation in with that burger halfway into her mouth. I’m sure there are many ways in which that sort of skill might come in handy in the bedroom — not that Rex would ever care to find out.

  62. Bryan
    April 12th, 2008 at 9:54 pm [Reply]

    1) I would like to see Thel back when she was in college.
    2) Rex looks like he’s disgusted with the way June eats.
    3) Gasoline Alley is bizarre. I’m obsessed with Sturdivant’s chin.

  63. aquagirl3
    April 12th, 2008 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

    MW: Poor Donna Amalfi. Shouldn’t she be more concerned about the arm growing out of her stomach than her quarreling ne’er do well sons?

  64. DaveyK
    April 12th, 2008 at 10:23 pm [Reply]

    “You shot me.”
    “Not by much we didn’t.”

    If anyone needs a reason there will never be a major motion picture about The Jungle Patrol, I offer this bit of post-gunfire dialog into evidence.

  65. LTBF
    April 12th, 2008 at 10:32 pm [Reply]

    When I read the first line of FC, I thought he was going to make a joke about the word “Arts”, since the dad is an artist. I didn’t think a four year old moron like Jeffy would be familiar with the word bachelor.

  66. boojum
    April 12th, 2008 at 10:46 pm [Reply]

    64 DaveyK –

    What do you MEAN, “there will never be a major motion picture about The Jungle Patrol?” Why, we’re getting ready to slate this summer! I know, because I’ve met with the director, and we’ve had all these costume fittings with the purple spandex! And then there were the two screen tests (the first one got screwed up at the lab — long story), where he had to see if I was comfortable with the big nude scene between my character and the… you know… the………

    Oh. Oh — I see.

  67. Poteet
    April 12th, 2008 at 10:50 pm [Reply]

    # 62 Bryan — I’m glad I’m not alone. One reason I’m obsessed is because the chin keeps changing size and shape. Comparing the strips on 4/5 and 4/7 proves that point (so to speak), in case anyone else doesn’t have a life.

  68. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    April 12th, 2008 at 11:08 pm [Reply]

    Um, lady, that’s not how you tear a person’s face off.

    Not that -I- know how, of course. MOVING RIGHT ALONG…

  69. FOOBed again
    April 12th, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

    What the…….suddenly in the 4/13 Mary Worth, Donna has Mary Worth hair, except it’s iron gray instead of white. In fact she looks kind of like a slightly older, more feeble version of Mary.

  70. AhClem
    April 13th, 2008 at 12:11 am [Reply]

    #54 bats :[ –
    Thanks! It’s working fine now, but I have a feeling I’m going to regret looking at that just before bed. Oog.

  71. Croc
    April 13th, 2008 at 12:16 am [Reply]

    #10 Tlachtga — Thank you thank you for the link to that hilarious Brenda Starr cartoon. I sent it to my little brother, who appreciates bad pop culture.

  72. bats :[
    April 13th, 2008 at 12:36 am [Reply]

    Sunday funnies (har):

    A3G: well, as everyone anticipated, that went nowhere fast!

    DtM: the panel beyond the last: “No, you may not.” How about that, you little shit?

    FC: of course, given the perverse nature of the universe (and children), the minute Big Daddy Keane and Thel start their own form of ‘playing,’ all the little rugrats will show up to bang on the bedroom door.
    And of course, it’s just creepy to have BDK refer to his wife as ‘Mommy.’ Ew.

    FW: Les often parades around with his underwear outside of his trousers, but for a completely different reason. Ew.

    MW: I never thought I’d say this, but at this moment, “Meddle, Mary! For God’s sake, MEDDLE!”

    FOOB: go on, April. Stab her with it. You know you want to. And no one in your family would hold it against you.

  73. Trilobite
    April 13th, 2008 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    Getting an early start on a few of Sunday’s comics:

    Crock: I never want to read the phrase “squirting out of my dresses” in Crock ever again. Do you hear me, Bill Rechin and Don Wilder? NEVER AGAIN.

    Judge Parker: Okay, a few days back Elvira was ready to call in a hit on Abbey for nosing around the Dickens meth factory, and now she’s full of remorse and wishes they’d never gone into the drug trade in the first place? Sheesh, lady, stop sampling your own brownies and maybe you’ll be able to stay in character for longer than fifteen minutes. Make up your mind: are you Tony Montana, or are you Aunt Bea?

    Phantom: It’s interesting that when someone mentions a curse, the Ghost-Who-Proudly-Wears-Skintight-Briefs immediately crosses his hands protectively over his groin. Perhaps the Wambesi village is a hotbed of koro rumors?

    “Phantom has very little to lose!” — Ancient Jungle Saying

  74. Poteet
    April 13th, 2008 at 12:48 am [Reply]

    # 69 Foobed — Gaaah, you’re right! Donna is morphing into Mary, like every other character in the strip. It’s the MW form of MRSA — Mary Resemblance Striking All!

  75. bats :[
    April 13th, 2008 at 12:56 am [Reply]

    73. Trilobite re Phantom: I noticed that rather sheepish pose. Not that there’s a lot to do with his hands, but how about crossing his arms decisively, or putting his hands on his hips to instill some quiet confidence amongs the natives?
    And after looking at the strip for a while, I’m worrying that the stripey pants might be a deal-killer for me and the Jungle Patrol. He’s the only one who has to wear them, right?

    74. Poteet: when I first glanced at the Sunday strip, I swear it was gray-haired Mary rising up from the bed, and I thought she was honest-to-god having another attack of the vapors back-story! It was pretty hard to read the whole thing and not keep coming back to that possibility.

  76. Trilobite
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:28 am [Reply]

    #75 bats :[ –

    From what I’ve seen the official Jungle Patrol uniform is just the semi-dorky khaki shorts safari outfit, accessorized with the fully-dorky ascot.

    If they do have to wear stripey lycra panties, they do it under the shorts. (That would definitely be a dealbreaker, I think.)

  77. ladycopwaitress
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:32 am [Reply]

    I think that if you are old enough to know what a “bachelor” is you are way to old to be calling your mother “mommy”

  78. Mr. Bribery
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:53 am [Reply]

    DT- has Dick Locher read Dick Tracy? Is he a crazed old man yelling at the kids on his lawn “I forgot more about Dick Tracy than you will ever know – ALL OF IT”. Locher may be bored scheming up idiotic scenarios for Tess or Vitamin or Sam as the Hapless Female Victim, but if he wants to place Liz in that role I cry foul. The thin patina of Dick Tracy-ess has worn away, revealing its true name: “Poorly Drawn, Plotted and Lettered, Illogical Nonsense About Murderous Ostensibly Detectives With Mangled Hands, Zombie Strip Nobody Reads Except to Mock”. A future storyline I’d like to see would be about a cartoonist returning from the grave and kidnapping the governor at a Halloween Party on the 4th of July so he can extract his revenge on the “One Who Draws the Claws”.

  79. Dr. Laura
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:23 am [Reply]

    Check out Sunday’s Lio. Brilliant!!!

  80. Luprand
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    Josh: pump hot lead into him, then taunt him as he lays bleeding at your feet.

    Shouldn’t that be lies bleeding at your feet? Unless, of course, the man really is pumping out eggs as fast as he’s pumping out blood, in which case it’d be entirely correct and deeply disturbing.

  81. Arglebargle
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:30 am [Reply]

    Just the stuff above:

    Phantom‘s “shootout” perpetuates that old nonsense that bad guys can/will be taken out with “flesh wounds” and precision shooting. Don’t try it in real life, kids. Draw on a cop, and every cop in sight will empty their guns into your torso. To do anything else is sheer asking-to-die foolishness.

    Dick Tracy: Likewise, Liz’s attack is as silly as they come. Protip, sweetie: thumbs go under the eyeballs. You’re a cop, you know this. Left-handed ear-grab? What the hell’s that?

    The motion of the bad guy’s elbow as he conks Liz with a shot to the chin/throat (well, at least one of yez knows how t’fight), as indicated by the motion lines, is not humanly possible. Ergo, he is an alien–just as Liz, who used to be hot is now a man, baby.

    RMMD: Of all the parts of June I’ve wanted to see, her fecking nostril hairs weren’t even on the list. (Also, the proportions–tiny fingers!–and skull shape–lookit the curvature of the teeth!–are so wrong in that picture that I think I need to go vomit repeatedly.)

  82. mollificent
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:40 am [Reply]

    73 Trilobite re: Crock: My sentiments *exactly*!

    Beetle Bailey: I got as far as “You bent over to pick up something…” and my mind slammed shut in self-defense.

    Lio: *wild applause* Awesome, just awesome.

  83. Jack Parsons
    April 13th, 2008 at 3:05 am [Reply]

    #9: Non-Shannon: it’s called Rule 34. Definition #7 is definitely on the money.

  84. Confused
    April 13th, 2008 at 3:23 am [Reply]

    I’m sorry, the correct response to “Y-you shot me!” is “We’re holding guns, you took a shot at us; what the hell did you expect was going to happen? Now I have to shoot you again just because you’re stupid.”

  85. kippetje2000
    April 13th, 2008 at 3:30 am [Reply]

    On the seventh day they plagiarized…

    Lio: Spectacular, breathtaking.
    Marvin: Everyone should steal from that Florida swamp rat. It’s too easy a joke, though.
    Funky Winkerbean: Direct tracing. Wonder if that’ll cost somebody $40,000 and a
    Spiderman 1st issue?
    Dennis the Menace: I’m sure Abbott and Costello had to have used this at one time.
    Crankshaft: (In the title panel) Is Gloomy Gus reading a Happy Hooker Sunday comic strip? I’d like to know where I might read that.

  86. True Fable
    April 13th, 2008 at 4:46 am [Reply]

    Favorite strips for snarking:

    JP Today in Abbeypaloosa, Our Miss Sweaterpuppies takes a sneak peak at the upcoming fashion season as Elvira and Biff model their His & Hers outfits from the Hayseed Collection. Don’t worry, Abbey; nothing beats you in a revealing green robe, unless it’s you OUT of a revealing green robe.
    MW It must be getting dramatic since Joe’s hauled out the Dramatic blue/yellow combo, or the “Braveheart” look as the kids know it. Tomorrow we might get a peek at Richard & Ron, unless Mary needs to remind Donna some more about how STRESS is sure to kill any weak buzz the morphine’s giving her.
    RMDS Rex Morgan, Doctor Sweetie is getting called on his ongoing “thing” with the local waitress. That’s going to be my call sign for this strip now. Rex Morgan Doctor Sweetie. I like it.
    FC Jeez, Bil; you really need to get someone to help you with that severe hunchback you’ve got, or is life with Hellspawn got you so depressed you can’t even pull yourself up off your knuckles?
    MT I have nothing against the planketon message today, but it would have been interesting if Jack would have taken a scene from Fable’s Mark Trail Theater for the Sunday strips, the way the Phantom’s Sunday panels are different from the dailies. Who am I kidding, I just want to see Mark try to juggle assignations with June Morgan, Sam Hill AND Kelly Welly. But I must say, the microscopic view of planketon is hard to beat. :P
    FBoFW Ahhhh, we’ve escaped the Flashback torture for a little Elly Bitches at April over Nothing The Girl Is To Blame For. Yep, that’s more like it, Lynnie Baby – you wouldn’t be you without a little April hate. Dammit.
    Scenes from Suburban Hell Hi mourns the fact that he won’t get a tax return despite being able to claim a litter of children. Maybe you should use Cathy’s accountant, Hi. She’s the world’s biggest spendthrift yet she never seems to owe anything, except maybe the world an apology for being such a shitheel.

  87. Eric the Baker, Jungle Patrol Bagels & Pastries Division
    April 13th, 2008 at 4:49 am [Reply]

    Phantom: This reminds me of one of my Dad’s comments about pregnancy. “That’s like being a *little* pregnant.” Which brings up the idea of the following twisted dialogue.

    “Y-You got me pregnant!”
    “Not by MUCH, I didn’t!”

  88. mollificent
    April 13th, 2008 at 4:56 am [Reply]

    Fable: What, no comment on today’s Lio? :D

  89. True Fable
    April 13th, 2008 at 6:04 am [Reply]

    #88 mollificent – Just saw Lio. O.M.G. Give that man a cigar, that comic is outta the ballpark!

    I like that Billy Keane is taking a quick smoke break outside his door, and the economy sized pooper scooper is at Marmadick’s. But Oh the WONDER of the Creature from the Foob Lagoon is not to be missed.

    Bwahahaha! It makes me happy, as if a goat walked by. :D

  90. Zaq
    April 13th, 2008 at 6:40 am [Reply]

    Sunday!

    RMMD: What’s with the skin-graft look on Rex in the lower left hand panel? He looks like the Phantom of the Opera after three or four years of reconstructive surgery.

    Foob: I can’t decide. Is April going to end up in the clock tower picking off random victims with a sniper rifle, or is she just going to poison the family’s casserole one day and move far, far away?

    Lio: THAT’LL teach me to read the comics before bed. If I have nightmares about Elly’s ginormous ass in pulsing blob form, I’m blaming you, Tatulli!

    MW: Mary’s just teasing us now, shameless as she is. Get to the meddling already! There’s going slowly, and then there’s dawdling!

    Curtis: QUOTATION MARKS DO NOT WORK LIKE THAT. Also, Curtis is a little shit, but that’s nothing new.

    RwO: While I am in favor of the destigmatization of the male nipple, the way they look like the eyes, complete with brows, of some bizarre facial structure is unnerving as hell.

    Beetle: Dreaming about each other? Starting out with “You bent over to pick something up, and…”? To paraphrase Josh from a few months ago, every day this text gets less and less sub!

    C’shaft: That’s right, Batiuklings, writhe, writhe in the torture of your very existence, wrought by the hand of a malevolent god, your only purpose to amuse him with your unending agony! Seriously, I’m surprised that Batiuk didn’t just make the air in his universe out of acid.

    Popeye: I feel bad for Wimpy. Food addiction is a real condition and it’s not a pleasant thing. I’ve been fortunate enough not to personally know anyone with it, but that doesn’t make it any less real. Still, “give him the old raspberry” is amusing in a “wait, what?” sort of way. I know what it means to give someone a raspberry (pfbbbbbbbbt), but not in that context…

    FW: Just look at the faces in today’s strip. The faces in Dick Tracy look more normal. I’m especially unnerved by the Summer mugshot by the title. It’s like she’s got cancer of the smirk.

    HtH: If he finished his hot chocolate, why is there still a cloud of steam rising from the cup?

  91. Anonymous
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:24 am [Reply]

    Sunday!

    I am so glad April Patterson’s skirt didn’t blow up in today’s comic because I wouldn’t have been able to turn the page. They’d be stuck together.

  92. Godzooky
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    #85 kippetje2000 re: FW: Actually, not a tracing, but a tribute to the recently late, forever great Jim Mooney, Supergirl artist extraordinaire. The note at the bottom of the main panel thanks him for the “Sunday fill-in,” so it may actually be one of Mooney’s last works. More likely, it was Photoshopped from the original.

    I’m not so sure about applying this classic source work to the Les-Summer situation, but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

  93. Godzooky
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:54 am [Reply]

    If I’m following correctly, Dick Tracy willfully passed up a dropped gun and a hammer as weapons of choice against an initially-unarmed foe in favor of donning a suit of medieval armor, helmet included, and ineffectually waving a broadsword. If and when Jamus The Bartender graces the Comments section again, this is going to make one hell of a Crimestoppers Textbook entry.

  94. Godzooky
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:09 am [Reply]

    Bite Fight of the Century: Dorita’s Grandma vs. June “Jaws” Morgan. May the best chomper win! (Go, Grandma!)

  95. alley (not allie) cat
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:13 am [Reply]

    Regarding today’s (Sunday’s) Lio…..is Mark Tatulli one of us??

  96. queek
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:25 am [Reply]

    Mark Tatulli has officially reached GOD! status for today’s Lio. WIN!

    9CL: Edda and Dr. Burber in swimsuits, for no particular reason.

    PBS: “but dis one take me to happy place” ROFL. Never too early in the morning for drunken hilarity. :-)

    SFx: wait, what? I don’t think that it works that way. . . .

    a note on the Saturday Phantom: “its only a flesh wound” would have been a good substitute line, but a trifle obvious.

  97. John C Fremont
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    # 96 – Regarding swimsuits in 9CL – No particular reason? Oh, I think there was a very particular reason. As Larry might say, “Dis one also take me to happy place.”

    Lio – Hoo!

    A3G – Let’s see… Panel 1; Blaze. Panel 2; Donny Osmond, or maybe Bobby Sherman. Panel 3; One of the Brady Bunch. Panel 4; Kyle Maclachlan. Frank Bolle may not be around to confuse us at Gil Thorp anymore, but he’s making up for it over here at 3G. I love you, Comics’ Frank!

    Foob – With that kind of wind, I can’t believe her skirt stayed down the whole time. Since she hasn’t quite developed her sensible wide, child-bearing Pattersonian hips, I was kind of hoping for just a teensy peak. What a rip-off. I want my money back!

    MW – Cool, Mary’s having a heart attack!

    RMMD – June Morgan is adorable! But what’s that sticking up from behind the building in the last panel? Wait a minute, do they live on Summerisle?

  98. Cranky
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

    Crankshaft 4/13 – I defy anyone to show me why this is funny, enlightening, or insightful. It’s just a snapshot of the soul-crushing depression of the strip’s lesser characters for no particular reason. It’d be like if an entire episode of Laverne and Shirley were dedicated to Lenny and Squiggy realizing how much they are disliked and contemplating driving off aimlessly into the Wisconsin woods.

  99. Islamorada Girl
    April 13th, 2008 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    Brenda Starr: Best storyline EVER!! Go, Granny!

  100. gleeb
    April 13th, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Dick: Nothing but recap here, but the “Crimestopper’s Notebook” does feature Gene Hackman in a watch cap and fake mustache.

    ‘bean: Les, don’t comment on your daughter’s “guns”. It’s creepy.

    Abbey Parker, super-spy: No sign of life? Who do you think drove the truck, zombies? Also, a little belated remorse from Elvira designed, I guess, to get us on her side. Have you ever seen what do to kids, Mrs Dickens?

    Monty:1883? I hope that just means to point out how much of a fool Monty’s fellow Trekkie is.

    Luann: Yeah, strong hair, “girls is dum”, let’s move on. Bernice is eating a drippy sandwich, possibly a burger, although they are clearly at Weenie World. What’s up with that?

    Lio: Horrific, yes, but nothing that hasn’t been noted here. I like the enormous crap shovel outside “Marmad_ke”, and the box o’ gags. O Beetle, why won’t you open the box and use it?

  101. Godzooky
    April 13th, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    9CL: No tiger print bikinis? Brooke’s slipping.

    Crankshaft: Has there ever been a more self-centered, whiny couple in comics? Millions across the world would be proud as hell their children are well-educated and ready to go out on their own and consider it an honor to repay some of the sacrifices their parents made for them. Instead, here we have two house-and-car-owning, generally well-off bit players, crying Woe is Me! The hell with them! Where’s Cranky with that backing-up school bus when you need him? (/rant)

    S-M: Shouldn’t they be arresting Spidey, instead? As far as I know, the only legal justification for arresting Krandis is kidnapping MJ and, with Persuader dead, it’s her word against his that she didn’t come voluntarily. Otherwise, this is a clear-cut case of home invasion, property-destruction, and menacing directly leading to Persuader’s electrocution. Not to mention the direct physical assault involved in stuffing all those bills into a middle-aged man’s mouth. Where are those trigger-happy would-be Jungle Patrollers when we need them?

  102. Loopina
    April 13th, 2008 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    Peanuts: Awesome! I never get to say that about Peanuts, but today’s is excellent. Freida learns an important lesson: never fuck with Lucy.

    Slylock: Help! I can’t read the solution. It’s something about the lug wrench and the car, but the rest of the text is garbled.

    OBH is cute. Anything with dogs in it is worth reading.

    I’m gonna go to my happy place, now…

  103. Loopina
    April 13th, 2008 at 9:52 am [Reply]

    Oh, and I don’t know how many people here read the comics on Washington Post, but you shouldn’t miss this one:
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/comics/almanack/040508.html

  104. Lightsyrup
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Gasoline Alley leaves me speechless. Not just today’s, but I’ve gone back and read the last couple of weeks and who comes up with this stuff?! And why?! Are the artists trying to make the strip as outlandish as possible, just to see what the newspapers will print?

  105. Calico
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    Lio was super-funny today. Rock on.

    Bats, the June-to-Elly mashup was awesome too. Love the nose-morph!

    Speaking of morphing, aaaauuuuggggh Donna Amalfi is turning into Mary Worth #2! Make it stoppppp!

    JP – I really like the way Abbey’s crotch thinks for her, in addition to her binoculars.

  106. Lightsyrup
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:12 am [Reply]

    Ah, clarity.

    From an interview w/Jim S. (http://cagle.msnbc.com/hogan/interviews/scancarelli/home.asp):

    “I try to put in the strip things out of my past. It’s a good well to draw from.”

  107. Scherzo
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    LIO RULES OK
    Mark Tatulli, we are not worthy!

    Let’s see, what other cliche can I come up with?
    .
    .
    .
    I gots nuttin’ more.

  108. Godzooky
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    As noted by several, today’s Lio provides a great depiction of the FOOB hybrid. I’m guessing Mark Tatulli and Lynn Johnston don’t have too many lunches together.

    His strip did prompt some thought on why the hybrid format still isn’t quite working out. It’s been about six months, Lynn should have worked the kinks out, but it still seems to be an ungainly beast.

    There’s been some discussion about out-of-context strips and some negative interpretations of the young characters in the flashbacks in light of how they’ve turned out. Want to introduce another angle on the discussion: The story.

    One of FOOB’s distinguishing characteristics has been that, whether a day’s strip contained gags, puns, or just conversations and actions, it was all part of an overall storyline, the story of Elly and her family. Until Ms. Johnston started working toward the hybrid, this story moved in one direction, forward. Like life, the destination seemed unknown, which is why a lot of people related to the strip and kept following it.

    However, nowadays, we’re getting a disjointed story that hops back and forth, with awkward segues and abrupt jumps. The narrative thread may not be totally gone, but, by now, it’s dangerously frayed.

    Case in point, the last two weeks of dailies:

    4/1: The present: Connie and Elly talk about how husbands and wives share the load more nowadays, compared to how women had the bulk of the household/child-rearing work when they were in their 20s.
    4/2: Flashback: Abrupt jump to Elly buying movie tickets for young Mike and the other kids that came to his birthday party.
    4/3: Flashback: John mowing the lawn while ignoring Mike’s whinging, cooking for the kids, diapering Liz, and smirking at Mike’s malapropism while readying to feed Liz.
    4/4: Flashback: Elly on the floor, recovering from what seems to be a nervous breakdown brought on by Mike and Liz helping with the dishes.
    4/5: Flashback: Elly nagging John for a triviality, scolding Mike, John sneaking in a dig about her nagging.
    4/7: Flashback: Elly vacuums, carries Liz while preparing food, gets a dig in at newspaper-reading John about being stuck with the housework.
    4/8: Flashback: Elly whines about wrinkles.
    4/9: Flashback: Elly asks John to give her a Looks Rating, he spots and escapes that trap.
    4/10: Flashback: Showering John has no soap, Mike has no hygeine or clue.
    4/11: Flashback: John carries dirt-covered Liz to the laundry room rather than the bathroom, proposes putting her in the wash.
    4/12: Flashback: Breadcrumbs dripping from her mouth, Elly listens to a series of depressing news headlines from the radio, Mike asks what about him.

    From the present-day kitchen to a movie theater to John doing housework to Elly overreacting or nagging while houseworking to focusing on age and looks to missing soap to dirty kids to radio news. It just flows, doesn’t it?

  109. 12xuser
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    JP: If this storyline ends up, around Christmas, with Abbey’s meddling getting the kindly old couple thrown into prison or worse for the terrible crime of distributing a little righteous herb, I’m off comics for good.

    I assume they’ll make it heroin or meth or something like that.

    Plus, if the pot is just to keep you out of bankruptcy, why are you cooking it into brownies and feeding it to the neighbors?

  110. Hank
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    RE: FOOB. If Lynne really, really, feels the need to keep a hybrid strip going, she should consider just running new strips three or four days a week and old ones the remainder and dropping the segues. Maybe have reruns on the weekends (or vice versa if she only wants to have two new strips a week).

  111. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:52 am [Reply]

    Hold on, Funky Winkerbean is not making sense. Summer was born a teenager? But she was a little girl…Supergirl was Superman’s cousin I believe not daughter…

    what kind of a creepy family IS this?

  112. Josh
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    #95 alley cat –

    Don’t know if he’s a regular, but he’s definitely posted comments once or twice.

    Josh

  113. lostsynapse
    April 13th, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    100 Gleeb “box o’ gags. O Beetle, why won’t you open the box and use it?”

    First handcuffs, now ballgags… What are the comics coming to???

  114. Godzooky
    April 13th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

    #103 Loppina: Enlarged copy of today’s Slylock Fox, courtesy of a link from Albany Times-Union.

    Have serious doubts that air from car tires is as breathable as that from oxygen tanks, but I’m not a waterlogged fox with a glued-on deerstalker cap, so what do I know?

    Also, if they’re deep enough to require a diving bell and so far from the surface it takes 20 minutes to reach them, how can Sly swim around with only that cap and a bathing suit for protection from ocean pressure?

    #104 Lightsyrup: Is GA really more outlandish than a veteran police detective backed up by a SWAT team donning a suit of armor for protection? Maybe it’s a competition between Scancarelli and Locher.

  115. Godzooky
    April 13th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    #114 me: Oops. #103 Loopina, that is.

  116. Hugin
    April 13th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    MW: #69 you beat me to it. Clearly MW’s hand clench did involve exchanging genetic information — specifically that relating to hair. Although I’m not really sure how hairstyle is genetic, I’m sure that will be explained shortly.

    FOOB: As if running only one or two new strips per week isn’t lazy enough, Lynn now gives us a bunch of redundant panels leading up to one lame joke. And by joke I mean something that only Lynn finds amusing and the rest of us see as just one more reason to despise Lynn & Elly.

    MRSA, MD: Saturday — the closeup on June’s mouth was just plain weird, but Rex’s horrified “I’m not going anywhere near that” look in the background was classic. Sunday — Waitresses, sailors, etc. Everyone gets some from Dr. Sweetie — everyone but June, that is.

    Saturday GT: Elmer Vargas’s dad is Lurch? That makes the A-train’s home situation seem downright normal and boring. And gives our newly dedicated to helping others Gilmary Thorpworth a meddling opportunity.

  117. Dr. Mabuse
    April 13th, 2008 at 11:29 am [Reply]

    FBOFW – I’ve got a daughter about April’s age, and I’m known to have a tongue that will clip a hedge when I’m annoyed, but still…if MY daughter came in soaking wet on a stormy day, my first question would be “What happened to your umbrella?” working from the assumption that it MUST have been blown inside out, damaged, lost or stolen. I sure wouldn’t just assume that she was too stupid to know how to keep dry in the rain.

  118. Harold
    April 13th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Now It Can Be Told: The real reason Mary Worth volunteers at hospitals is to watch impassively as people die.
    http://anothermonkey.blogspot.com/2008/04/4-my-mudgez-dark-side-of-mary-worth.html

  119. Flipper
    April 13th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    MW: Donna Amalfi’s autopsy will reveal she died from acute hairspray inhalation, yet another victim of the Mountview Makeover Murderess.

  120. Creeto
    April 13th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    Dick Tracy: In the second panel, is that a shmoo?

  121. mumbles
    April 13th, 2008 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    MW: How cool if the disembodied voices outside the hospital room were two of Mary’s former meddling victims arguing about why they hadn’t “taken care”….of MARY? As in the way Michael Corleone took care of Fredo.

  122. dreadedcandiru2
    April 13th, 2008 at 12:53 pm [Reply]

    #117: -: Dr. Mabuse: That’s probably because you have common sense. Elly’s distingushing characteristic is her cluelessness. This is, after all, the same dumb-asdirt woman saw all the crap Mike and Dee were shoving in April’s bedroom last year and assumed it was her mess.

  123. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    #54 bats :[
    Man, that’s some awesome funny glomping!

  124. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:08 pm [Reply]

    Lio: It is done, fair muse! Tatulli inhales the sweet smell of success!

    Fellow mudges, allow me please to direct your attention to the
    plump, tomato-faced perfection of Tatulli’s rendering of biohazard Crown Prince Poopypants.

  125. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    FOOB(Saturday): Wow, prophetic! The only thing left out is “And the American president continues to prove his ongoing dangerous incompetence while messing in the Middle East. Meanwhile, he is destined to be succeeded by that charismatic candidate in the other party who is becoming a virtual Jesus figure, to be worshipped in his party, pleasing its base, and will be more popular with the American public than he deserves. This man will be able to let scandals roll off his back, as if guarded by teflon or something, in this reporter’s opinion.”

    FOOB(Sunday):
    Ellie Patterson
    d. 2008. R.I.P.

  126. alley (not allie) cat
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:37 pm [Reply]

    JP: Didn’t Elvira start out as this cheerful, dotty old grandma type, so clueless she thought that distributing magic brownies was a good idea? She did a lot of tripping around and beaming while Biff scowled and scolded her. Now she’s this canny old curmudgeon, all frowns, acting like she’s the brains of this operation while Biff’s the idiot dropping crates out of his plane while doing barrel rolls. Do the two of them pass the brain cell back and forth or something?

  127. Diamond Joe
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    A&J: Another Sunday that’s just a puffed-up daily. What’s interesting here is that it’s mostly puffed up not with extra verbiage, but with just plain empty space. That last panel is a big ol’ upraised middle finger to the reader. I mean, a voice balloon three head-widths away from the person saying it, just to put something in that yawning chasm between things that are actually, you know, drawn?

    Dilbert: This strip has reached the point where, even if you’re pretty sure the day’s strip isn’t simply a repeat of an old one, it still feels like one. The situations are just too familiar.

    DinS: This is an improvement over most Dinette Set strips, inasmuch as there’s almost a joke here. But it’s buried in all the joke-like material. Take out Burl’s voice balloon in Panel 2, and Joy’s in panel 3, and you have a much clearer joke. Not a very funny one, but one recognizable as a joke.

    F&F: Inflation strikes again. Take panels 2, 5, and 6, and you’ve got a daily. (In either case, I have to wonder about how the last panel is phrased. Is there an age at which sleeping with the window open when it’s 10 below is normal?)

    Frazz: Given the size of the kid’s hand and the size of the basketball, how is the pose in the last panel even possible?

    GA: Four, if you count seeing way too many tax jokes in the comics.

    JS: If the mother had taken advantage of Joe’s being petrified with fear to take him to the hospital and get his blood drawn, we’d have an actual joke here.

    Marmadoof: Here’s a Sunday that could have been one panel… and not made me want to shout into the monitor, “Well, then answer it already, you feeb!”

    Classic Peanuts: See, here is how to construct a gag that fully utilizes the extra space of a Sunday strip. Even the throwaway panels add to it by giving a buildup to Lucy’s reaction.

    Opus: Personally, I don’t understand the “Hillary Clinton is previously unheard of levels of horrible and awful because she has the gall to actually run against her opponent in a tight race” meme. And I’m not even a Clinton supporter. But I’ll leave it there before I get banished.

    And there are a lot more, but I’ve run out of patience with how half the time, comics.com freezes at 95% completion, having loaded everything except the goddamn strip.

  128. Saluki
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    What is that uniform color Sarge is wearing in today’s Beetle Bailey? Is that camouflage for when the army invades the Florida citrus fields?

  129. Harold
    April 13th, 2008 at 1:48 pm [Reply]

    kippetje2000 @ #85, that strip is “Happy Hooligan” one of the great old strips from The Golden Age.

    http://www.toonopedia.com/hooligan.htm
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Hooligan

    Personally, I believe that ol’ Hap and his lookalike son were plagiarized by none other than Walt Disney and turned into ducks…

  130. bats :[
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    While the Lio strip is great today (don’t forget the “Big Box o’ Gags” being Fed-exed to the set of Beetle Baily), the FOOB thing farkin’ scared the crap out of me. Just as bad as when I was five or six years old and in the front row of a local movie theater, watching “The Blob.”

  131. Mibbitmaker
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    FW(Saturday): Of course, to me (irregardless of rarity/pricing issues), “the good ones” would be Cerebus (at least before Dave went nutty), Strangers in
    Paradise, Bone, Box Office Poison, Patty Cake
    , (I’ll spare the rest of my knee-jerk anti-”mainstream” comics rant this time)

    N-S(Saturday): Wiley, this has become a nice storyline. Please don’t turn it into yet another blatant “Bush/the war is evil” analogy.

    BBailey(Sat): Jeez, talk about your weird fetishes!

    Ghost-Who-Is-A-Sadist-Himself (Sat): I think the ladies’ comeback is even more harsh if they’d shot him in the privates!

    (Sat): Cranky is Hitler! I guess it was only a matter of time…

    Now Sunday…

    Cranky: What’s “Happy Hooligan” doing there?? Why remind people of a classic, vastly better comic strip?

    NS: Danae dreams things like that — Calvin lived them, baby!

    MT: Trail left out the part about plankton hatching evil schemes to get the formula for Crabby Patties.

    Tiger: Wow! It really does smell like roses!! Who knew?!

    BBailey (shorter version, sans throwaway panels): This could easily be one of those that Josh only needs to show the first panel to get great snark out of it.

    RiR: Last panel: Rose has two pairs of arms! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

    Shoe:
    “You must be a golfer, too.”
    “How do you know that?”
    “This is a comic strip. Everyone golfs in comic strips! Everyone KNOWS that!”

  132. Garradha
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me, or does Rex Morgan look like Bruce Wayne in that last panel?

    That would explain a lot, really … the secretiveness, the aloofness, the grooming of a young male sidekick … he’s really Batman!

  133. bats :[
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:11 pm [Reply]

    97. John C Fremont re RMMD: well, dang, the place does look a little familiar!
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2410445195/sizes/o/

  134. Mariko
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    Mark Tatulli, you are amazing. Not only for today’s brilliant Lio, but also for using one of my absolute favorite Dickens quotes in Heart of the City!

  135. John C Fremont
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    # 133 (Bats :[) – Hoo!! And you know, this does make perfect sense. After all, Rex is going there of his own free will.

  136. Vince M
    April 13th, 2008 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    130: re. Lio: I was watching the John Carpenter remake of ‘The Thing’ the other night – even that didn’t prepare me for today’s horror!
    55: My favorite Hardy Boys parody still has to be the National Lampoon’s ‘Chums in the Dark’.

  137. odinthor
    April 13th, 2008 at 3:00 pm [Reply]

    RMMD — Peter is doing old tricks again. OK, so I hear they tip better. “Hey, Jayzon! Wake up! Do old tricks tip better?” “Um, I never talk business when, er, when I’m on business. You got any effin’ breath mints, man?” OK, so I hear they tip better. Hey, wait a minute–is this mike live? Awp! [click]

  138. queek
    April 13th, 2008 at 3:21 pm [Reply]

    FunkyWinkerbean and Luanne both do a female supers riff today. Funky with Supergirl, Luanne with Medusa of the Inhumans. Luanne’s is much less squicky.

  139. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    April 13th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    A3G: “Alan has his demons, LuAnn.”
    “Yes, but don’t we all?”
    [LuAnn arrives home...]
    “Something smells delicious!”
    “It’s roasted demon! I slew it myself!”

    FC: Oh, Bil, a Mr. Abner Doubleday called… something about stealing two of his gloves?

    FW: JV SPORTS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY

    …oh, and Les in spandex? DO NOT WANT

    JP: “Just two people walking along, talking with each other in an animated manner… still no signs of life!” Whaddya want, woman, a hoedown?

    Lockhorns: It seems Loretta prefers ‘em uncut.

    MF: Of course! Why didn’t we see it before? Logically, if we cut the tax rate to zero, revenue should increase to infinity! Funny how, despite the fact that the revenues-vs.-tax rate graph is a curve with a definite high point, to a conservative, the ideal tax rate is always lower. That’s a real laffer! Yes, this comment wasn’t funny, but neither was the Duck’s.

    MT: “Plankton are the most important creatures on this planet… but creatures like whales filter billions of them out of the oceans every day! If our planet is to be saved, the whales must be stopped! Brought to you by Planktofu Whale Chow.

    Marvin: Any chance we can use the panty-flash in panel 6 to get this strip banned from the comics page as kiddy porn? No? Shit.

    MW: She’s ready to die so she’ll be with Oscar again. What she doesn’t say is that Oscar is her cat.

    Phantom: Hey, Next Box, keep your opinions to yourself!

    Popeye: I didn’t even make it to the end of this strip. Pantsless Wimpy was too horrific a sight to contemplate. By the way, “Pantsless Wimpy” will be the name of my next Guitar Hero band.

    RMMRSA: Speaking of which, Rex, when’s the last time your peter has been up to its old tricks?

    6C: Hate to harp on a theme, but those cartoon girls have better boobs.

    SFx: Slylock will use his SCUBA tanks to swim to the surface and leave Max to die, because mice are a dime a dozen.

    S-M: Yep, I called it. Once serving of Marvel villain comin’ right up, don’t skimp on the weaksauce. (It’s too bad, I almost included The Vulture in that original post, but didn’t want to start an argument with a comics geek about how well-known and/or dangerous a villain he was.)

  140. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Oh, you “rugged New Englanders” think you’re so tough, huh? Let’s see you jump in Lake Superior in the middle of the winter. Then you can talk.

    BB – ATTN: Mort Walker – dream analysis is something you really don’t want to bring into your strip.

    Crankshaft – They’re going to Thelma & Louise it. Well, in the Winkerverse, that’s about the best thing they can do.

    Crock – Must…gouge…out…mind’s…eye…

    Curtis – Forget the New Yorker, Curtis is the cartoon that needs “Christ, what an asshole” plastered on it.

    FC – Should I be feeling such mirth at the sight of Daddy Keane finding himself obsolete?

    FW – I’ll leave the psychoanalyzing to others and just say this: I never want to see Les in spandex again.

    HOTC – Yeah, that’s about what I thought of Great Expectations, too.

    JP – Imagine being a casual funnies reader with only a passing acquaintance with Judge Parker, and reading today’s strip and trying to figure out what in the world is going on.

    Lio – HOLY CRAP. All the “props to Tatulli” comments in the world couldn’t have prepared me for the awesomeness of this. This is majestic. But what’s that FedEx box outside the Beetle Bailey studio say?

    OBH – Okay, so Lio clearly takes the cake today, but I have to give some love to One Big Happy, too.

    Opus – Normally I don’t enjoy Opus much, but today’s was spot-on, and has a pretty amusing punchline to boot.

    Pibgorn – Man, if only we could get her to do that with some other comics relationships…

    Preteena – Their service is only an hour from start to finish?

    RMMD – Who are Becka and Peter? Have they shown up before, or is this just vaguely foreshadowing exposition?

    SM – The Vulture!? An old man with a flight harness? Seriously? Is Stan Lee just dedicated to producing a comic strip featuring the lamest villains in the entire Marvel universe?

  141. Doug Puthoff
    April 13th, 2008 at 3:57 pm [Reply]

    PBS–Did anybody besides me notice that Bob has made a miraculous recovery? His gravesite was shown in the 4-3 strip. I emailed Pastis today, asking him what had happened. He replied Bob had un-died recently. Makes perfect sense to me.

  142. Lightsyrup
    April 13th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    I don’t read Lio nearly enough. After today’s strip, if I ONLY read Lio for a while, I don’t think I’d be missing a thing!

  143. Squid Countess, Jungle Patrol Tactical Tentacle Division
    April 13th, 2008 at 4:10 pm [Reply]

    OK, somebody here besides me must be a TotalFarker. Who else would go over there and post a link to June Morgan’s oral close-up with the headline, “Rex Morgan MD artist gives shout-out to lovers of giantess porn?” I lol’d. Squid Countess

  144. wooddragon
    April 13th, 2008 at 4:50 pm [Reply]

    I cannot *believe* that Heart of the City and Lio are done by the same cartoonist. I never would have guessed by the drawing styles…

  145. Danzig
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday, waitress Kay started shooting the poor hapless Swiss arms smuggler with what is clearly a revolver (looks like a standard Smith & Wesson model 19). Today she is holding some type of compact Colt or F/N clone automatic. Yes, people, the waitress cop carries a back up weapon. Good for her.

  146. Poteet
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    Foob Warning — Those of you with sensitive stomachs will want to have a vomit bag handy when you read the Monday strip.

  147. dale
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Arglebargle – 81

    The cops will empty their guns in your direction. The fellow in NY was hit with something like 19 out of 40 rounds, but then he was reaching for his wallet not shooting at them.

  148. Loopina, Summer Intern of the Jungle Patrol
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    I didn’t know about Tatulli doing HoTC, either. I like that strip – the difference in art is really amazing. Usually when an artist does two strips, they use the same art style.

    Then again, how often does an artist get to do two strips? These are the only ones I know:

    Shoe/Pluggers
    Mutts/Bad Baby
    Garfield/U.S. Acres
    H&L/BB
    9CL/Pibgorn
    Cranky/Funky

    There’s probably more, but in all the above the art is pretty much interchangable.

  149. Poteet
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    LIO & PBS — Thank you, Josh and Mudges. Never read ‘em until I came here, never intend to stop, and today was a great reminder of why.

  150. Doug Puthoff
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:30 pm [Reply]

    148 (Lupina)

    I thought some guy name Ayers did the art for “Crankshaft.”

    Doesn’t Joe Martin draw three comics (Mr. Boffo, Willy ‘N’ Ethel, and Cats with Hands)? Last time I checked, Hy Eisman draws the Sunday Popeye and Katzemjammer Kids.

    I know Dik Browne drew Hi and Lois and Hagar the Horrible. I’m not sure who draws the former now.

  151. dale
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    Slylock

    If Slylock has any sense of decency, he will indicate that he is going for help and then turn away so Max can’t see him giggling as he heads for the surface.

    If the thing is a diving bell, it would be open on the bottom and not need a door on the side. Max could get out and maybe convince Slylock to share his air.

    If it’s a closed vessel, how does Slylock get the air from the tires into the vessel?

  152. queek
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:54 pm [Reply]

    141: Pastis has admitted that he loses track of which crocs he’s killed off. Still, a week later seems a bit much!

    143: Countess! we’ve missed you. *sends hugz and calimari fondue*

  153. bats :[
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

    146. Poteet: how do you KNOW these things? And why am I filled with a sudden, sick sense of doom?

  154. Harold
    April 13th, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

    AAAAAAGGGH!!!!
    re: #146, #153
    POTEET IS LYNN JOHNSTON!!!!

  155. Loopina, Summer Intern of the Jungle Patrol
    April 13th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    Well, Crankshaft and Funky do have the same gloominess.
    I figured there’d be more multi-strip artists, but I knew that someone here would know what the others were.

  156. Vince M
    April 13th, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    140: re. 9CWL – I was up in Marquette, Mich. over spring break once (just call me Wrong-Way Vince) and the lake was frozen solid. How thick is the ice in the middle of winter?!?

  157. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    April 13th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    Poteet is our Voice of Doom.

    I’ll be sure not to eat anything as a precaution. And drain the pharmacy of its Gravol.

  158. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    April 13th, 2008 at 6:39 pm [Reply]

    #141, #152: Maybe the crocs just spawn back in, independent of Pastis’s plans.

  159. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    #156 Vince M – Generally upwards of ten inches. The big thing isn’t the thickness of the ice, it’s the fact that Superior is really goddamn cold, even at the height of summer. So every winter you get a group of extreme hardly folks of Scandinavian descent who chop a hole in the ice and dive in just to prove they can. By comparison, the Burbers’ dive into a springtime pond is a cakewalk.

  160. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    “extreme hardly” != “extremely hardy.” Preview is your friend.

  161. Diamond Joe
    April 13th, 2008 at 6:58 pm [Reply]

    BallS: Amazingly enough, this is just how I feel after reading “Ballard Street.”

    BreSt: You know, you just don’t hear enough campaign speeches with drinking-related metaphors. “We’re going to send taxes down as fast as I can chug-a-lug!”

    DieS: I’m guessing “I want to kill that self-righteous ecotwerp” isn’t the reaction the artist was going for. I guess she won’t be happy until everyone kills themselves, and thereby stops using any resources.

    Farcus: Why, was anyone saying that?

    FD: Why do I think that only syndicate decency practices made the cartoonist paraphrase the “zero to bitch” joke instead of rip it off wholesale?

    Heathcliff: If the cat were “hanging twenty,” wouldn’t it have all four feet down? (Besides that, with a cat, that would be “hanging eighteen.”)

    H&J: If you delete the word “so,” panels 3, 9, and 10 tell a joke all by themselves. That is, all of that stuff about Matthew Henson is completely irrelevant to the punchline. Way to construct a gag, there, Bentley!

    Myth-T: Same-species cannibalism? Turtles are an order, mammals and birds are classes, and fish are a paraphyletic group, but nice try.

    Pluggers: Wait, but I thought hocking your TV set was the Plugger ATM. Stop confusing me!

  162. Buck Ripsnort
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:03 pm [Reply]

    While brunching out today, I found a local restaraunt that keeps the Washington Post — and more importantly, the WaPo Funnies! Holy codfish balls, you DC people must be the happiest funnies geeks in the country– something like 6 big pages, no FW or Crock, both Get Fuzzy AND PBS– it’s like you’re reading champagne and the rest of us are reading Night Train wine. Or drinking. Something like that.

  163. Old School Allie Cat
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    So, I rarely read the comics in an actual newspaper because, we don’t take the paper, but I was down at my parents this morning, and I saw Lio, and I laughed so freaking hard.

    I’m adding that one to my daily lineup – I have to replace Scaduto eventually.

    I’m dying to write in to Coffee Talk to mention.

  164. Buck Ripsnort
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:11 pm [Reply]

    Slylock Fox: Ok, so if Sly gets air (spoiler!) from the tires, How does he get it into the watertight diving bell? I call shenanigans!

  165. Loopina, Summer Intern of the Jungle Patrol
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:32 pm [Reply]

    #162: Buck, you are so right! The thing I miss most about the DC metro area is the comics in the paper. Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ain’t got nothing on the WaPo.

    Although, with the news being online, who needs papers? I haven’t bought a “real” newspaper since I was housebreaking my puppy.

  166. Little Guy
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    Valiant: I’m probably the only one who cares about PV for a reaction, but this one had “Oh come ON now!” all over it.

  167. aloha_breeze
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:36 pm [Reply]

    164: “Ok, so if Sly gets air (spoiler!) from the tires, How does he get it into the watertight diving bell?

    The bigger question is–if it is indeed a watertight diving bell, how did Slylock manage to get out of it in the first place?

  168. Jeff
    April 13th, 2008 at 7:53 pm [Reply]

    164 — Looks like an air lock between an outside door and an inside door near Max Mouse.

  169. Lisa
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    What in the world is Bad Baby??

  170. Buck Ripsnort
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:13 pm [Reply]

    #165– Loopina, my local Sunday News got complaints when they dropped frikkin’ Hagar. Up til then, I didn’t know that strip even HAD fans.

    #166– Little Guy– MAGIC!! It’s aaaaaall magic!

  171. Cranky
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:21 pm [Reply]

    #131 – I resemble that remark! (I prefer to think Crankshaft is Mussolini.)

  172. Loopina, Summer Intern of the Jungle Patrol
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

    #169: Bad Baby used to run in “Parents” magazine in the 70s/80s – I don’t know if it was ever in newspapers or not. My mom subscribed to Parents, so I actually read this comic before I ever heard of Mutts!

    Don’t know if any papers carried U.S.Acres, come to think of it. There used to be a Saturday-morning cartoon that was paired with Garfield, and I saw a book of strips once. Any ‘mudges get this one in their paper?

  173. mollificent
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:31 pm [Reply]

    Re: moonlighting comic artists, don’t think I saw this mentioned…doesn’t Brian Bassett do both Red & Rover and Adam@Home?

  174. Whippersnapper
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

    Foob: Suddenly, I am inspired by a simple comment that is fitting for most Foob strips: Shut up, bitch.

  175. mollificent
    April 13th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    165 Loopina: You know, that brings up something I’ve been thinking about lately. If newspapers are possibly becoming semi-obsolete due to the availability of free online news, does that spell doom for our favorite comic artists? Will the ad revenue for online news and comics be enough to make up for the potential decline in newspapers running their strips? Could this be THE END OF SNARK AS WE KNOW IT? *sob*

    Obviously we’re talking fairly long term here…but it kinda makes ya think, don’t it?

  176. Toronto
    April 13th, 2008 at 9:18 pm [Reply]

    Mollificent @ 173 – correct – Basset does both.

    And in my opinion, he’s been phoning in Adam for a while, but Red has been doing well.

    PS: I understand Brian has red hair – hence the name of the strip.

  177. commodorejohn
    April 13th, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    #175 mollificent – Various people have been gloom-and-dooming about that since the rise of online news sites, but it’s yet to happen. Even if it does, it’s probable that the comics syndicates will find some alternative form of distribution, since the funnies are one of the main reasons most people buy the paper nowadays. Perhaps a mega-funny-pages digest publication or something, like manga digests in Japan. I wouldn’t worry about it, particularily not yet.

  178. Poteet
    April 13th, 2008 at 9:47 pm [Reply]

    # 153 & 154, Bats and Harold — BWAHAHAHA! That was worth a keyboard cleanup. No, the truth is mundane — my local paper doesn’t publish on Monday, so they carry the Monday strips on Sunday. So any time on Sunday from 9 am onward, I can see what Lynn has in store for us.

    Probably I should just shut up and suffer alone. Recommending barf bags is pretty silly, since most Foob-reading Mudges have already learned to be paranoid, and I don’t want to give away the plots of Monday strips to Mudges who would rather postpone their suffering until the proper time. Oh well. Your responses were much better than my post.

  179. mollificent
    April 13th, 2008 at 10:12 pm [Reply]

    177 cj: Oooh, a comics digest. I would SO subscribe to that. In fact, I’ve wished before that I could get the daily comics without the paper. ;)

    Anyway, it was a purely hypothetical question that just occurred to me. I’m sure the morning coffee-and-newspaper ritual has a while yet to go. I actually really enjoy reading the comics in print, but it’s nifty to read some of them in color online too.

  180. Paul1963, Grammar Division of the Jungle Patrol
    April 13th, 2008 at 11:35 pm [Reply]

    #81 Arglebargle (and 147 dale, sorta)–Exactly. I have a friend who’s a state trooper–and firearms instructor–and he told me years ago that there are no warning shots or flesh wounds in law enforcement. It’s “aim for center mass and empty the clip.” I guess the Jungle Patrol doesn’t include this in their training, nor does the police department of African Vancouver or wherever Hawa was working. Perhaps a better rejoinder would be “Quitcher bitching–if I was a real cop, you’d be dead!

    Gasoline Alley: In panel 1, 58-year-old Clovia looks her actual age. For the rest of the strip, we see why as we are reminded that Peter Griffin isn’t the only mildly-retarded husband and father in popular culture. Seriously, Slim makes Homer Simpson look like Robert Young in Father Knows Best. This guy is a grandfather!

    #141: Dude. Seriously. You want continuity in Pearls Before Swine? Although there is another way to look at it: Maybe the crocs are so dumb they can’t reliably remember each other’s names and just randomly refer to each other as “Bob.”
    Damn, there’s a Sunday strip right there. “Me no can rememmer names. He Bob. You no object, right Bob?” “Me fine wit dat, Bob.”

    #172 Loopina: U.S. Acres was, indeed, carried in a Baltimore paper. I’d have to research when it ran to tell you which one, though. I remember Wade the duck and Bo the sheep (and his sister Lanolin).

  181. Paul1963, Grammar Division of the Jungle Patrol
    April 13th, 2008 at 11:37 pm [Reply]

    Crap. That was the Sunday 4/13 GA I was referring to. Clovia is, of course, not in the Saturday strip.

  182. Arglebargle
    April 14th, 2008 at 1:49 am [Reply]

    #147 Dale:

    but then he was reaching for his wallet not shooting at them

    Yeah, they really should have waited to see what he was pulling out after they told him to keep his hands in the air. Stupid pigs, wanting to go home alive every night. It’s just not fair!

  183. june
    April 14th, 2008 at 2:16 pm [Reply]

    I think Chief Liz thought his grotesque visage had to be a mask, and was trying to dramatically rip it off so she could indulge in a little Scooby Doo-style exposition.

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