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Asked and answered


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So many questions! But you can always say “yes” to the Comics Curmudgeon — with a generous contribution!


Marvin, 11/15/12

Q. Why couldn’t I have been born into a one-story family?
A. Why not? You’ve been living in a one-story comic for years.

Mary Worth, 11/15/12

Q. It’s because I’m missing an arm … isn’t it?
A. No! That’s not it at all! Although I did notice when you gestured expressively at me over there in the left panel a moment ago that you were holding your drink and pointing using the same hand, and frankly it looked pretty awkward. I, on the other hand, with my two arms, count ‘em yourself, one … two, can hold a drink in my right hand while gesturing expressively — like this! — with my left hand, from its convenient location at the end of this arm here! The left arm, second of two! Pretty useful, wouldn’t you say? I was wondering why you don’t do something like tha… AUGH OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONLY ONE ARM GET AWAY FROM ME YOU HIDEOUS MAN-FREAK!

Family Circus, 11/15/12

Q. Mommy, do we know any princes?
A. We’ve been over this, Dolly — that’s where the pisketti comes from.

Spider-Man, 11/15/12

Q. What’s he up to?
A. He’s introducing Sherry to the Four Stooges.
Sorry, that was harsh — the four monkeys.

Lockhorns, 11/15/12

Scabs, again?


Oh God I am so profoundly sorry.

– Uncle Lumpy

195 responses to “Asked and answered”

  1. Raghead the Fiendly Neighbourhood Terrorist
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:50 am [Reply]

    That’s pretty handy of Dawn there, handing off the predatory one armed cannibal fresk who’s about to take a bite out of her in Panel One.

  2. Mibbitmaker
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:06 am [Reply]

    MW: “No, it’s not the one arm! It’s that violently controlling chauvinist thing and the quasi-incest thing, you sick weirdo!”

    Marvin (semi-meta): And his one story is always about the end! (the kid was asking to be the butt of that joke. What an ass! Why did his parents want to rear that kid anyway?) (I’ll stop now)

    FC (meta): ANTHONYYYYYYYYY…!

    S-M:
    Q: What’s he up to?
    A: I think it’s Shemp. (the Joes come later)

  3. Spiny Norman
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:19 am [Reply]

    I’m pretty sure Mrs. Lockhorn and Mary Worth took the same Home Ec class. Based on their routine output, they appear to have been taught to cook from a collection of Depression-era recipes for Scavenged Earth-Tone Objects (provenance unimportant).

  4. Droopy Says
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:24 am [Reply]

    Spiderbland: Well, Parker, he could be planning a stealthy night-time robbery in which his trained animals enter the museum and steal the tiara, taking advantage of the fact that the defenses are only designed to thwart human thieves, mainly because the planners foolishly thought any burglar would have opposable thumbs. Or, he could be a badly-overdressed animal trainer in a Vegas show, who has somehow organized his show, trained his anmals and landed this gig in the few days after he was released from prison.

    Flunky: Oh, boy, a giant Deceptibot, or Transformadroid, or Gigantodrone. Think it has a defense against ArtooVendo’s death smirk?

    Jugs Parker: Investors? So Avery doesn’t actually have the money, but will have to con people into investing their millions in a solar farm ina mountain vale, to be run by a highliving drug lord. In an actual story, this would alert everyone that Avery is a con artist. Here, it’s just another way to arrange wealth, fame and sex for Sam Smirker.

    Family Circus: Just the Prince of Darkness, andwe haven’t seen him since Daddy signed the contract that keeps this strip going.

    Eohs: Speak up, Blue Bird of Misery, I can’t hear you over the sound of the FEMA workers.

    Mock Trail: That pelican would help Trail escape, but I don’t see how he hellhecan.

    9CL: Silent Solange is back.

  5. Dale
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:51 am [Reply]

    It’s really time for Elrod to have MARK TRAIL ask,
    “What happened to the last hostage?”

  6. StrangeRover
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:55 am [Reply]

    OK, Lumpy, we’ll go over it again. Dolphins are not fish. Chimps are not monkeys.

  7. Uncle Lumpy
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:01 am [Reply]

    @StrangeRover (#6):

    Bullshit! Here’s your proof.

  8. sporknpork
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:52 am [Reply]

    Alternative caption: “Eat shit and die, Leroy.”

  9. Dale
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:10 am [Reply]

    @StrangeRover (#6):

    Those dolphins which are fish, are fish. Like the fellow in a restaurant told me,
    “Mahimahi is dolphin. If we called it dolphin, people would think they were eating Flipper.”

  10. Chaze
    November 15th, 2012 at 5:59 am [Reply]

    A3G – Wow! Greg really HAS transformed the apartment – right back to the 1950′s, complete with a radio the size of a refrigerator. And on top of that, he’s turned into Gene Kelly in panel two just to ramp up the dance vibe. What a guy!

  11. John C Fremont
    November 15th, 2012 at 6:17 am [Reply]

    ZtP – “We accept you! We accept you! One of us! One of us!”

  12. John C Fremont
    November 15th, 2012 at 6:24 am [Reply]

    Marvin – Am I the only one that thought the railing was an alphorn at first & that Marvin’s thought balloon was going to say “Riiiiii-cola?” I am, aren’t I?

    It’s lonely at the bottom of the barrel.

  13. Chaze
    November 15th, 2012 at 6:32 am [Reply]

    FC – Oh dear, Dolly is missing a nostril! If we’re lucky, more pieces of her will disappear everyday until she’s completely gone!

  14. gleeb
    November 15th, 2012 at 6:58 am [Reply]

    Slylock: In contradiction to comix convention, that letter carrier is unafraid of the dog. He must have a duck in his satchel.

    3-J: Greg knows that vigorous motion helps the purging.

    Denis: Maybe I shouldn’t read these so early in the morning, but I did not see “cowlick” at first glance.

    ‘bean: So, is the helmet supposed to signify that the loser school spirit of every school sports team (minus, of course magical Summer’s b-ball squad) inhabits the Cancerdeathville robot? Because you could have indicated that simply by stating that these two were in on its design. Seriously, if you’re going to focus more on the younger set, Batiuk, don’t make it these two sad sacks.

    Gas: It’s a school for training young Apartment 3-G background crowds.

  15. Chareth Cutestory
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:08 am [Reply]

    Marvin: In case you’re wondering why Marvin’s parents “accidentally” forgot to put child safety gates on the stairs, the only explanation they can offer is a dead pan stare and the word, “Oops.”

  16. Liam
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:28 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Damn you, Kraven! I’ll find that you are up to something even if I have to make something up accuse you of it.

    Marvin-Marvin’s parents are just hoping that he’ll fall down the stairs.

    FW-Let us pray that Walnut Tech’s robot doesn’t follow the three laws of robotics.

    JP-And a warm place to stick my penis in.

    MT-If he is any friend of Mark then he is going to leave Mark behind on the island.

    MT 2-I wouldn’t worry about Mark getting too close. He has a woman back home he has been neglecting and he is a one woman neglecting man.

    Pluggers-Pluggers are janitors with the key to the boss’ office.

    FC-No, but I think one of your brothers is going to be a queen.

  17. Anders Gabrielsson
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    I’m not sure if “Marvin enjoys sitting in his own feces” counts as even one story. Half a story, tops.

  18. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:38 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#2): I’ll stop now

    But, you were just getting started!!

  19. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:42 am [Reply]

    @Peanut Gallery (#Y181): In The Family Ellipse, the melonheads look almost normally-proportioned!

    Fulgent! I had thought of squishing the circle the other way, but Thel and Daddy became pluggers, and the the kids… nevermind.

    // Of course, in your version, the adults become El Greco martyrs – or supermodels – or insectoid invaders from Outer Space?

  20. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#2): In my opinion, Shemp was the best Third Stooge.

    // Yes, better than Curley. Let’s not even talk about the Joes.

  21. Baka Gaijin
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:47 am [Reply]

    What a clueless dunce Peter Parker is. What is Kraven the Hunter doing? Hunting pussay!

    There’s a medical term for what Gina in Luann is experiencing. I don’t know what they call it in women, but the male version is “blue balls.”

  22. Here Come the Judge
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:51 am [Reply]

    The question that the readership of Marvin is currently asking: “Why couldn’t this strip have been about Marvin tumbling down this flight of stairs?”

    If I were Kraven, I’d be way more interested in Sherry than in Spider-Man as well- spandex just really shows lady parts off way better than man parts, if you catch my drift.

    The latest Mary Worth story arc keeps bringing me back to the late, great Mitch Hedberg’s bit about amputees:

    “You gotta be careful wavin’ at people you don’t know, many… ’cause what if they don’t have a hand? They’ll think you’re cocky… Look what I got, motherfucker… it is useful… I’m gonna go pick somethin’ up!”

  23. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#20): Or Curly. But they did spell it “Curley” sometimes.

  24. zaratustra
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:07 am [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Peter Parker does not understand this concept of “cruising for chicks” so it MUST be a supervillain plot. How did he ever get Mary Jane? Did they connect at some sort of couch-potato support group?

  25. Government Cheese
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:10 am [Reply]

    MW: There’s nothing wrong with my brain! It allows me to scream and yell at people when I don’t get what I want! Did I also mention I have three testicles? See! There’s nothing wrong with me!

  26. Pozzo
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:14 am [Reply]

    The fact that Marvin’s parents don’t have a baby gate at the top of the stairs lead me to believe that they want to be rid of him as much as the rest of America does.

  27. tb4000
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:19 am [Reply]

    RMMD: “I reiterate, nobody out-tits me in this strip…..NOBODY….”

  28. CanuckDownSouth
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    A “sumo” robot competition? So they should build the biggest lump they can get on wheels/treads – no need for grasping or manipulating devices, or anything that could perform an interesting robotic task. I’ve seen capture-the-flag, velcro target-toss, basketball… why am I not surprised that Batiuk would come up with the most boring competition idea ever?

  29. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    Luann – Sheesh, today’s strip just reinforces all the comments from yesterday about how noone will just tell her to DTMFA. Why would someone like her ever be attracted to someone like Gunther in the first place, outside of some late-middle-aged male’s geek fantasy? And, is Evans so emotionally retarded that, even in his fantasy, he is still stammering and quivering and afraid to even hold hands?

    Rule 34 tells us that somewhere on the internet there must be porn like this, where the woman can’t pay the plumber in cash, offers another mode of payment, strips down and gestures him into the bedroom, and then watches as he flees in panic. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Brian Backer are probably the stars.

  30. Liam
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:20 am [Reply]

    Spiderman-Kraven’s tired of playing with his monkeys and wants someone else to play with his monkeys.

  31. Tom T.
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:22 am [Reply]

    S-M: I confess that I haven’t been paying attention, but why is Peter Parker shoveling ape poop? Has the strip suddenly taken a realistic turn as to the job prospects of a Phd student?

  32. S. Stout
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:24 am [Reply]

    Luann: Rosa, Gunther doesn’t hold your hand because he knows you’ll be deported immediately after.

    MW: Jim is understandably furious that his sister-clone doesn’t want to have sex with him.

    Marvin: Pretty sure Marvin’s parents are aroud the corner, hoping he attempts the stairs and fails so they can be rid of his shit forever.

  33. Tom T.
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    Luann: As always, I’d like to know how Evans reconciles the prudery of his plots with the teenage cheesecake in his art.

  34. Little Blue Bicycle
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    MW: “No! That’s not it at all! Hands down! Or hand down in your case! You’re just carrying so much on your shoulders! Or shoulder in your case! Now calm down, count to ten! Or five in your case! Life is brutal.”

  35. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:40 am [Reply]

    SM: Hot, obvioulsy horny Vegas showgirl wearing revealing outfit walks up and openly fawns over Kraven. “What’s he up to?” wonders Peter. “Kraven should be on third base heading for home plate by now!”

  36. lynn
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:45 am [Reply]

    Today’s pop math quiz: If Dennis the Menace is nearly four feet tall, per the growth chart, how tall are his parents?

  37. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    MW: Jimbo is angling in for a pity-fuck.

  38. Lenoxus
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:00 am [Reply]

    Lockhorns: I swear, if I ever see another comics joke that relies on one character apparently repeating the mildly funny thing the other character must have said moments before (eg, “No, you can’t count chocolate as a vegetable!”) I’ll go maaaad. I guess that means no more Ziggy for me.

    I do sort of wonder why it’s done… I guess it’s because just having the first character say the thing feels less “punchliney”? It’s like a comics equivalent of Pleonasm, but that may be too generous of me.

  39. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Luann: squicky service is squicky.

    Lio and derpy Lio, needs more Yakkity Sax.

    Bizarro: ROFL! *heart it*

    JP: “preferably, on your rack.”

    MG&Grrrrrrroooooooooaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn. Working backwards from the punchline, but a truly awful pun.

  40. pastordan, snark late shift
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Well, since we’re on Q&A time, does an electron have a negative charge?

  41. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:01 am [Reply]

    Love Is. . . .hittin’ it.

  42. Droopy Says
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    @Tom T. (#31): Jameson arranged for Parker to work undercover as a janitor so he could spy on Kraven. This involved having Jameson ask Craven’s manager, or whoever it was, to give Parker the job, which involved giving the manager Parker’s real name. Maybe I’m being unduly optimistic, but it looks like Jameson wants to get Parker killed.

  43. Cotton Candy Beard
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:02 am [Reply]

    Today’s Maary Worth reminds me of this Mr. Show sketch

  44. Chyron HR
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:03 am [Reply]

    @zaratustra (#24): How did he ever get Mary Jane? Did they connect at some sort of couch-potato support group?

    Face it, Zaratustra… he just hit the jackpot!

  45. seismic-2
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:04 am [Reply]

    MW: “No, the real reason I don’t want us to become romantically involved is that you don’t look anything like my brother, so what’s the fun in that? I’m sure you, of all people, will understand!”

  46. Marc
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    @StrangeRover (#6): I disagree about Dolphins. The Bills play Miami tonight and the motto around here when we play the Dolphins has always been “Squish the Fish”. So by virtue of some saying invented in the 70′s or 80′s about a football game proves that dolphins are indeed fish. For 2 days a year anyways.

  47. pastordan, snark late shift
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    Apt. 3-G: Q: Are you playing “Moon River”? A: Actually, it’s Barry White, baby, but hey, if you’re into the kinky stuff, I guess I can go there.

    The Family Circus: Q: Mommy, do we know any princes? A: No, but I’m pretty sure your brother’s going to grow up to be a queen…(Sorry. I’ll show myself out.)

    Judge Parker: It was then that the microprocessors in Avery’s “soul” flashed up instructions behind his opaque lens meticulously handcrafted from the repurposed window of a Soviet-era space capsule: DO NOT MENTION MINERAL RIGHTS. ENSURE COMPLIANCE OF UNIT “SAM” WITH FURTHER BRIBE. ENFORCE DOMINANT STATUS WITH UNIT “PEACHES.” STAND BY FOR FURTHER HUMAN-LIKE INTERACTION.

    Mark Trail: Is it just me, or does that talking pelican have a suspiciously Castro-like beard? I always get the characters mixed up in this strip.

    Mary Worth: I for one welcome our new Jim overlords, as well as the inevitable Godzilla-vs.-Mothra battle between him and Mary for control of Santa Royale. Maybe this time they can get Kurosawa to direct.

    Pibgorn: You guys. I…I think this is how Brooke sees us.

    Rex Morgan, M.D.: Q: Why is June subtly sticking her Saran-wrapped ass out and pushing her thinly-veiled breasts into that girl’s back? A: This is a family strip, and you’re a pastor. Stop asking questions. Q: Okay…

  48. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:25 am [Reply]

    meanwhile, in Colorado.

    Hobbes on a playdate.

    I .gif you a panda cub tipping the scales.

    corgi/greyhound. perspective.

    Pudge, new tie and haircut.

  49. The Ghost of Jarrod
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:30 am [Reply]

    Luann – There are these marvelous things called “words,” whereby one can communicate ideas. If you want to sleep with Gunther, Rosa, go up to him and say, “I want to sleep with you.” You might need to explain that includes sex.

    JP – “Oh, and sex. Have I mentioned that?”

    MT – Don’t worry, bearded terrorists. Mark hasn’t slept with Cherry in 72 years. He’s not gonna make a play for Ava.

    S4th – Here’s what I like about Ces — unlike Evans, he recognizes that his protagonists are flawed, and occasionally calls them on it. Hillary can be a bit self-centered (as all middle schoolers are by nature), but because she gets called out by her friends, we don’t end up despising her for thinking she’s a special snowflake. That grounds the strip in reality, and makes his characters’ flaws endearing, rather than obnoxious.

  50. fillmoreeast
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:32 am [Reply]

    The colorist for Spider-Man missed a spectacular opportunity to use the color yellow in today’s strip. Even so, I’m really, really hoping it was an oversight, and that’s in fact chimp pee that Peter has to mop up.

  51. Anonymous
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:35 am [Reply]

    @Pozzo (#26): The editors had to censor the big boot sole hovering just behind Marvin.

    MW: It’s because I’m an unhinged, clingy sister-luster who gives you grip bruises, isn’t it? ISN’T IT!

  52. Marc
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    A3G- “Say Greg, where’s the crank on that victrola?’
    “Well Margo, that’s the newest model. For now on, the only crank in this apartment building is you.”
    “For your information Greg, I’m only cranky because I have polio!”

    Mark Trail- These guy’s clearly don’t know Mark that well. If they did, they would no that they have absolutely no reason to worry about Mark getting too friendly with a female.

    Mary Worth- It would appear that the zombie apocalypse is beggining in Santa Royale. Hopefully they get that quarantined before it spreads to the Lost Forest. Don’t want Rusty to find out that there are others out there like him.

    Funky- Maybe I’m just a hidebound literalist, but I’d sure love to see giant-mega death robot squash Owen the Idiot and geekwad whose name I don’t know like bugs.

    Luann- I see Evans has branched out to drawing teenage girls undressing to go along with his staples of drawing them applying gobs of makeup and taking a shit.

    Cranky- I could explain how there is merit to clearing the driveway before the snow piles up too high but I’ll pass because trying to apply logic to Crankshaft is about as useless as a Peter Parker doing…well anything.

  53. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:37 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#46):

    True, but only the Buffalo fans spell it that way, to Dolphin fans the team is the Phins. And Phish was ruined as a nickname by that jam band.

    Hey, remember the 90s, when Squish the Fish day often came around three times a year? Something called the “Playoffs” (Playoffs!?) that our respective teams used to be eligible for back in the day.

  54. Marc
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#52): Holy shit, I can’t spell this morning.

  55. Greg
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:39 am [Reply]

    MW: “I mean, look behind you, even the SIGN POST has two arms. Come on, man, can’t you see everyone is mocking you?”

  56. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#47): Pibgorn: You guys. I…I think this is how Brooke sees us.

    Talk about projection – and not just the Astral kind! There is only one person who is guaranteed to sit in front of their monitor every day and drool over Pibgorn as their potential naked love thrall. And their name rhymes with Crooke Hackelclowny.

  57. Marc
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:43 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#53): Ahh those were days. When games after mid October used to mean something. I sure do miss that. Hey at least the Jets are a circus and worse than both of us, so we can take some comfort there. And just think, Tom Brady can’t play forever (hopefully). So I mean there has to be a faint light at the end of the tunnel right?

  58. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    JP: Aaagghh! I looked into Avery’s hypto goggles… must… invest… money… in… obvious… loser….

  59. Illustrator Steve
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:56 am [Reply]

    MT – Not that it’s anything new for this strip, but the same clip art of Mark and Ava and the Jackelrod ball shown in yesterday’s panel #2 is the SAME clip art of Mark and Ava and the Jackelrod ball used for today’s panel #3, along with some gigantic pelicans surrounding them so as to throw the readers off.
    (On crap, he’s getting on his soap box again) …You know, it’s lazy enough of Elrod to reuse the same clip art of the story’s main caracters two days in a row but for the cartoonist to be so lazy that he resorts to using a clip art of his own signature ball is either pathetic or evidence that the whole damn thing has been outsourced to be laid up for publishing by some poor people in some little village on some small island not too far from some main island somewhere in the southern part of some hemisphere!

  60. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:00 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#46): Why “Squish the fish”?

    Because of the easy rhyme – and all those unsold t-shirts that read “Slammel on the aquatic mammal”.

  61. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    MT: I didn’t think Otto was the type to help others.

    Ava: I didn’t think a strapping, handsom man would be an assexual dork, but, here we are.

  62. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#57):

    Yes, the J-E-T-S can be relied on to fall apart on an annual basis, and once Brady finally goes off into the sunset, Belichek’s Genius credentials will be put to the test. That still doesn’t help if your team can’t get over 7-9 every year, though.

    My 6YO stepson, whose biological father is from New England, and who has lived with me in a Dolphins’ household since he was 2, has somehow decided that the Buffalo Bills are his favorite team. It is hard to explain to him every week that, no, they aren’t doing very well, but they aren’t down by more than 32 points yet, so there is still hope!

  63. TheDiva
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:05 am [Reply]

    Marvin: The lack of baby gate could be explained by the fact that Marvin is old enough for toilet training to be a concern (ie. 2-3 years) and therefore also old enough to reliably navigate stairs. Except that wouldn’t explain why he’s sitting helplessly at the top of the steps complaining about their existence. So I’ll just say a brief prayer of thanks that this is a rare poop-free day and move on.

    MW: And the lesson, girls: don’t reach out to amputees, because they’re angry and controlling and will try to mold you into a substitute for their dead sister.

    SM: It’s called being charming and successful, Peter. You should try it sometime.

  64. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:06 am [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#60):

    Just give Tannehill a few years to develop, and you won’t have the Corpus of the Porpoise to kick around any more!!

  65. Joe, the Upper-Evergreen Guy
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:07 am [Reply]

    MW: It’s because you’re an impulsive jackass!

    RMMD: Looks like they’re dipping their toes into the Funkyverse…

    Love is…: Pillows stuffed with rocks!

  66. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:16 am [Reply]

    SM: Parker keeps playing it like Kraven is about to discuss his criminal intentions with a janitor and a chick he just met. Of course, this is newspaper Spiderman, where an idiot plan like that might meet success despite logic.

  67. Señor Tortilla
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    S-M: This story is so boring. Is Kraven doing anything illegal? Is Peter doing anything heroic? (“No” to both counts).

    MW: Dawn has suddenly been turned to age 72 in the first panel.

    FBoFW: Ha ha ha! Mike got beaten up! Now it’s going to be Elly be a bad parent…

  68. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    @Marc (#57): “So I mean there has to be a faint light at the end of the tunnel right?”

    speaking as a Lions fan, it’s probably a semi-truck.

  69. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#64): And the “Whale on the whale” campaign was more confusing than anything else.

  70. Northernlurker
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    MT: “It’s because I have only arm” will become my new response whenever anyone says no to me about anything.
    ie. Salesman: “I’m sorry but I can’t go any lower on the price.” Me: “It’s because I have only one arm!”

  71. TheDiva
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:24 am [Reply]

    9CL: Except this shows one body on top of another and not, say, a couple cats all tangled up in an adorable catpile, which would have made more sense and might even been kind of cute or funny.

    A3G: “Don’t you just love the sound of an old swamp cooler? Really gets my feet to tapping!”

    C’shaft: Right, because it’s much easier to move all that snow in one go, rather than parceling it out into more manageable amounts.

    FW: So Batiuk saw some reruns of Robot Wars and thought “Hmmm, how can I suck all the joy and entertainment value out of this?”

    GT: I’m pretty sure he knows the knee-to-the-groin trick, dear…

    Luann: I think we’ve just found the male equivalent of the Cinderella Complex.

    Phantom: They’re ashamed because…they did what they intended to do? What?

    Pibgorn: Most of Brooke’s male protagonists are how he sees himself. I think this is closer to the truth.

  72. Austria
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:25 am [Reply]

    The Comic Book John banner is wonderful.

    FC: “Well, Dolly, there’s a funny story about that. The year was 1985. The closing number was ‘Purple Rain’ and I snuck backstage…”

    FW: Giant robots? Llama-hat-san, abunai!! (Jikai, Fuankii Uiinkabiin – Dai Warunatto Gakuen no Meka!)

    H&L: Lois is shocked. Once again, the concept of “fun” is completely foreign to her.

    Luann: “If I could be patient, I wouldn’t be signaling,” Rosa says, as she strips down to her skivvies.

    MW: Ah, he pulled the good old “missing limb card”. This turned out to be FAR more amusing than I thought it would!

  73. Uncle Lumpy
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#71):

    Phantom: They’re ashamed because…they did what they intended to do? What?

    Yeah, what? Maybe they’re ashamed to have met their obligations to obey Pissy Elder and defend the land, but are sympathetic to Hot Queen? Or maybe Hot Queen must choose a mate from the Llongo Warrior caste and these guys just Gunthered themselves? Either way, we get to see the Warrior Sad Face again!

  74. btown
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    MW: That’s it. Next time a girl turns me down for a date, I’m going to make a scene and shout “it’s because I’m missing an arm, isn’t it?”

    PS I am not actually missing an arm

  75. Droopy Says
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:36 am [Reply]

    Jugs Parker: To make Avey’s scheme work, the investors will have to sink money into a mountain-valley sun farm, the Feds will have to issue permits to a drug lord, the environmentalists will have to approve of deforesting the area, and the criminals will have to wait endlessly for the first investment dollars to appear. This story has transitioned from being an idiot plot (where the story only works if all the characters are idiots) to being a second-order idiot plot (where the story only works if everyone in its world is an idiot). I fear it will manage to become a third-order idiot plot, wherein everything is so stupid that its mere existence sucks the intelligence out of the entire universe. The Mayans may have been optimistic about our culture’s ability to make it into December.

  76. Uncle Lumpy
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    @btown (#74):

    PS I am not actually missing an arm

    Protip: pretend you were born with three.

  77. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    MW – It isn’t so much the missing arm as it is the fear of what other critical male appendages may also be missing or non-functional. You don’t want to end up with a Gunther on your hands!

    (Handist!!)

  78. btown
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Luann: Less talking, more stripping

  79. damanoid
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    I’ve always been fond of Kraven’s outrageously theatrical lion-themed costume, what with the flamboyant mane-ruff and playful eye-nipples. But cosmetically sculpting his abdomen into a lion’s muzzle might have been taking it too far.

  80. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    MW: Totally, Jim. You have an icky obsession with the girl who looks like your dead sister, and you explode at the first hint of rejection. Anyone can see that you’re a catch.

    S-M: Um, he’s trying to impress a lady so he can bed her. Sure, that’s something you haven’t done in eons, but…

    MT: Torgo’s more lucid than when he worked for The Master. He must have gotten his GED or something.

    9CL: Ah, go ahead and suck his breath out. You’d be doing him a favor.

    Popeye: The old rancher likes Popeye’s spunk and would love to ride the range with him. That last punch done broke his back on the mountain.

    BC: Look at those tiny arms! Now we know why the dinosaurs died out. They put the wrong guy at shortstop.

    Baldo: Eh, if he moved to Gasoline Alley he’d just be some guy.

    JP: “So what do you say? Can I hang my fishing hat in your warm, musky cloakroom?”

    GA: Hunger is making Boog hallucinate tiny planets around his head. Even stranger, he’s seeing odd little handheld speaking devices that have no place being in 1951.

    HtH: The Walker-Browne legates missed the chance to do a Hannibal joke. Yes I know that Hannibal was long dead by the time of the Viking incursions. When has that ever mattered?

    GT: Hit him where it hurts? So he’s too much of a bigshot to wear a cup now?

    6C: Hey, it’s a floating word balloon on loan from Mark Trail!

    Luann: Evans, you do realize that you just drew a teenage girl bitching about her clammy dork of a boyfriend while taking her top off, don’t you? Would you want you for a neighbor?

    H&J: I think Jamaal’s wearing an undertaker’s suit to the trial is enough to make the defendant nervous.

  81. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:54 am [Reply]

    @Austria (#72):

    FC: “Well, Dolly, there’s a funny story about that. The year was 1985. The closing number was ‘Purple Rain’ and I snuck backstage…”

    Dig, if you will, a picture…
    (So does the P in PJ stand for Prince?)

  82. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:10 am [Reply]

    @btown (#74): Next time a girl turns me down for a date, I’m going to make a scene and shout “it’s because I’m missing an arm, isn’t it?”

    Other possibilities:

    - It’s because of my inflatable coccyx, isn’t it?
    - It’s because of the pirate costume, isn’t it?
    - It’s because I think Otto is sincere in his desire to help his people, isn’t it?
    - It’s because I’m comically oversized, isn’t it?
    - It’s because of the villainous wolves, isn’t it?
    - It’s because of the fabled Odin sleep, isn’t it?
    - It’s because I have a great idea for a cartoon, isn’t it?
    - It’s because of the dancers, as in exotic, isn’t it?
    - It’s because this isn’t a gay bar, isn’t it?
    - It’s because, he’s probably outside, isn’t it?
    - It’s because, isn’t it?

  83. Shrug, Reheater of Leftovers
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    @Señor Tortilla (#y164):

    “JP: Ha ha, jokes on you, Avery! When Bubba goes bankrupt and can’t repay anything used to make his solar farm, your head is going off with a chainsaw—but not before being kidnapped, gang-raped, and bound to a chair.”

    Last Friday afternoon I posted the following, not realizing at the time that the new thread had come up, so I suspect scarcely anyone saw it. Shamelessly I take this opportunity to segue into reposting:

    @SF_Reader (#243):

    “JP – Wow, could this story get any sappier? It started out with dangerous drug lords who were ready to kill, for fun. Now everyone’s holding hands getting ready to sing kumbayai.”

    ***********

    You see a deep mine shaft before you.

    // Enter the mine shaft.

    You encounter a +9 Dangerous Drug Lord with a chainsaw. Do you fight or negotiate?

    // Negotiate.

    Your +15 Averyisque Negotiating Power is succeeding. The Dangerous Drug Lord is about to put down his chainsaw and sing “Kumbayai.” Do you fight or negotiate?

    // Fight.

    The Dangerous Drug Lord lops off your head with his chainsaw. On the upside, he does *not* sing “Kumbayai.” You Win, and receive 5,000 “Better Dead Than Kumbayaied At” experience points. And a picture of a fish.

    // Yay!!!

  84. LurkerMan
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    In one feel swoop, Kraven shows himself infinitely mroe smooth than Peter Parker will ever be.

  85. LurkerMan
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    More, damnit.

  86. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:23 am [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#49): Yeah, Ces has it figured out just about right. They don’t go completely unchallenged in their little ego trips, but neither do they just get verbally smacked down by everyone like April Patterson. I don’t know why he isn’t running a character-writing clinic for cartoonists.

  87. Chaze
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:27 am [Reply]

    MW – “I have nothing against guys with just one arm. Why, only last week I banged Steve Boone, offensive line coach over at Milford High.”

  88. John B
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    Q: How hard of a bowel movement does Marvin need to have in order to push himself down the steps, sparing us the unfunny poop jokes routinely written into this strip?

  89. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:36 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#87):

    “Not to mention the time I experimented with that marching-band director at the High School. She said she was tired of infantalizing her hidebound literalist of a husband. I wasn’t even sure what that meant, until she explained that he wanted to wear a leather diaper and have her spank him, and that his toupee was made of skunk fur.”

  90. word-doctor
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Luann: Too bad Cherry Trail doesn’t write an advice column… “Dear ‘Frustrated Chicana’: While it is entirely possible that your beau may suddenly hair out and become the lover you dream of, it’s unlikely, especially in our world. A better option might be astral travel to 2 1/2 Men, where at least they know that the pointed end goes first.”

  91. Mibbitmaker
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:41 am [Reply]

    ReFOOB: Having been through the original strip right to its conclusion makes this “flashback” SOOOOOOO satisfying!

    FW: After three iffy strips this week, we return once again to original era quirky humor. However, knowing Batiuk these days, their littler robot will be destroyed in a dour, mournful sequence (think a certain scene in Short Circuit 2, but even more depressing).

    MT: Trail is free to roam the island. Too bad the islanders apparently aren’t.

    NS: The cave wall art of Tom-Tom Bat-Ick.

    RMMD: “I know about the poor girl with cancer — BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT’S IMPORTANT! My husband’s uptightness is!!!”

  92. Shrug, Natterer to Nyucknyucknyuckers
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#20):

    @Mibbitmaker (#2): In my opinion, Shemp was the best Third Stooge.

    // Yes, better than Curley. Let’s not even talk about the Joes.

    Where do you rank Iggy?

    // (Will not accept “above Willie and Eddie, but below Tubby” as fair answer.)

  93. Liam
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    A3G-Are you so stuffed that you can’t eat one more noodle, Margo? It’s big though and you might choke on it so don’t try eating it all at once. Just relax your throat muscles and let it slide down you throat.

  94. Mibbitmaker
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:45 am [Reply]

    @LurkerMan (#85):
    Shouldn’t that be “Moe smooth”?
    Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

  95. Liam
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:46 am [Reply]

    Luann-You better force yourself on Gunther if you want to go anywhere with him. Now I am not advocating rape but if you want sex with him you better rape him.

  96. Mibbitmaker
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    @Shrug, Natterer to Nyucknyucknyuckers (#92): The irony of that set-up is that Iggy’s most famous catchphrase in the act was “I wanna be your dog”, but Curly and Shemp were the only ones who actually did dog immitations regularly. Plus, Iggy went farther than the rest getting “injured”. He was a natural for the climbing spike gag in the 1969 remake of “They Stooge to Conga”, “They Stooge to Rock Their Brains Out”.

  97. Inkwell
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    Marvin is my least favorite comic (seriously, at least Crock and Momma get a good WTH out of me), but I must give credit where credit’s due. That single panel is far more dynamic than the stock-still 3/4 view comics taking up the rest of the paper.

    Although Marv looks a little large to be so far away, but I think that’s just for visibility. In the paper the strip is a lot smaller, after all.

    oh no i just defended marvin strike me down now o lord

  98. Mibbitmaker
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    S-M: Does this scenario mean that Kraven wants to be Ted Healy?

    …Or at least Cerebus in “Latter Days”?

  99. Shrug, Fan of Southern Literature
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

    @Northernlurker (#70):

    “MT: “It’s because I have only arm” will become my new response whenever anyone says no to me about anything.”

    Well, a variant of that worked very well as a seduction technique by the hunchback in CANDY.

    Grunts “Is because of this?” and points at back; Candy hastens to assure him that she hadn’t even NOTICED, don’t be silly, and a few minutes later they are making the beast with two and three-quarters backs.

  100. Calico
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    Marvin – just…one…little…shove…

    Dawn, best you call up Comic John and let him give you some advice.

    Lockhorns – I may have mentioned this, but at formal dinner (3 nights a week at my high school) we used to occasionally have veal scallopini with marinara and parm cheese – they tasted good but were affectionately known as Elephant Scabs.

  101. Shrug, Limner of Limbs
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:12 pm [Reply]

    @btown (#74):

    “MW: That’s it. Next time a girl turns me down for a date, I’m going to make a scene and shout “it’s because I’m missing an arm, isn’t it?”

    PS I am not actually missing an arm
    **********

    If she calls you on it, explain that you used to have three. If nothing else, it will be a good conversation starter and break the ice.

    // Keep an eye out for the arrival of the guys with butterfly nets, though.

  102. Shrug, Obsequious Oversnarker
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

    @Uncle Lumpy (#76):

    Damn! Failed to read ahead and thus oversnarked. Apologies to Uncle Lumpy.

    Alternate comeback when said lady points out you are not actually missing an arm: “Oh, thank goodness, I just buttoned my jacket wrong this morning! How wonderful! Let’s go back to my place and celebrate!”

  103. Marc
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#62): Well it’ll be a little easier to get above that 7-9 mark once Brady is out of the picture because the Patriots should no longer be an almost automatic two losses every year. Or at the very least can hopefully bring them down to the level of the rest of the teams in the division so we’re like the NFC West used to be where 8-8 could win it.

  104. Pontiac
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @zaratustra (#24): Peter Parker does not understand this concept of “cruising for chicks” so it MUST be a supervillain plot. How did he ever get Mary Jane? Actually (no kidding), their elderly aunts fixed them up.

  105. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:21 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Fan of Southern Literature (#99): the beast with two and three-quarters backs.

    Mark Sanchez and Tim Tebow, with Eli Manning stopping by for a cameo?

  106. Marc
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    @queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando (#68): Probably more like a convoy of semi-trucks.

  107. Pontiac
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:25 pm [Reply]

    Monty: King of the Hill did it, fifteen years ago.

  108. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:26 pm [Reply]

    @pastordan, snark late shift (#47): Pibgorn: You guys. I…I think this is how Brooke sees us.

    Which, of course, is both ironic and hilarious, given that he’s the one endlessly drawing fairy-ballerina-succubus-robot-etc. wank fodder and tittering about getting the naughty published.

  109. Calico
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Obsequious Oversnarker (#102):
    You know, Moy may be playing with Batuik’s “artistic” mind with this story line. Whomever writes GT as well.

  110. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:28 pm [Reply]

    @btown (#74): If I get turned down for a date, I usually say “It’s because I’m missing a penis, isn’t it??” Startled pause. “ARM! I meant ‘ARM’!!”

  111. Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    @Calvin’s Cardboard Box (#56): I see the same thought occurred to you.

  112. Anonymous
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:30 pm [Reply]

    One Big Happy: This is still one of my favorite strips, and I have nothing to complain about so far as the writing is concerned. But I notice the art work has gotten careless. In fact every day I look at the day’s strip and one of the “classics” as it is called by GoComics. Not only have the drawn lines become shakier, the backgrounds have become totally simplified or eliminated altogeher.
    Part of the charm of this strip used to be the quality of the art work, and to my eyes, the artist has become lazy, or he’s in a hurry, or something. In any event, in my opinion, part of the charm and quality has been lost, and I am sorry about this.

  113. Calico
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    @Liam (#93):
    Here, this may help Margo: (maybe nsfw – depends)
    http://www.geekalerts.com/face-slimmer-exercise-mouthpiece/

  114. Little A.
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:31 pm [Reply]

    That Anonymous guy is me, I forgot to put my name in.

  115. Vince M
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Fan of Southern Literature (#99): I didn’t know Jim would sink to the level of that guy in ‘Kids in the Hall’: “Oh, great. Why won’t you let me forget that I HAVE A CABBAGE FOR A HEAD!!!”

  116. queek, source of Cuteness, Kawaii Commando
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:37 pm [Reply]

    @Calico (#113): and here I thought the Shake-Weight commercials were bad. . . .

  117. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    @btown (#74): I’ve been re-thinking this. Do some reverse-psych. The next time you’re turned down for a date, say “I know why you don’t want to date me. It’s because of the huge bulge in my pants and my six inch tongue, isn’t it?? Well, I completely understand. Who knows what you’d end up screaming while in total ecstasy, right? I suppose I’ll see you around… what’s that? Dinner tonight? Meet you at the hotel that rents by the hour? Well, maybe I’m free. I’ll check my schedule.”

  118. HAnzMFG
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

    Pibgorn: Most of Brooke’s male characters are nebbish, incredibly lucky dudes with glasses and variable age, and are Author Avatars. But I somehow think this new bespectacled nerd making depraved sexual fantasies is the most accurate Avatar of himself yet.

  119. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    Kraven is training his monkeys to high five. Is that really necessary?

  120. hogenmogen
    November 15th, 2012 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    A3G: Margo ate an entire meal and didn’t take off her trenchcoat? What, is she wearing lingerie under that thing? In my mind, she’s always in lingerie.

  121. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

    @Rana the Pedantic Wet Blanket (#111):

    Yes, I was thinking the exact same thing, what a pleasant surpri ….

    Wait, you meant about Pibgorn, didn’t you?

    It’s because I only have one arm, isn’t it!!!

    (Although, I have been accused of compensating by having a third leg….)

  122. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:05 pm [Reply]

    @hogenmogen (#120):Re: What, is she wearing lingerie under that thing? In my mind, she’s always in lingerie.

    And in my mind, underneath the lingerie she’s always NAKED!!

  123. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    TASM: Notice the giant teeth, or spikes, or horns, or whatever they are on Kraven’s belt? I don’t really think he’s into physical intimacy with anyone.

  124. Horace Broon
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    BB: It’s funny because he’s a recovering alcoholic on his way to getting diabetes!

    Crank: Sometimes when Batuik can’t think of a joke for Crankshaft he hacks into Brookins’s e-mail.

    DT: Okay, Wikipedia tells me that the story of how Walt found a baby in his car is GA canon. It doesn’t tell me whether Dick Tracy was there or not. I’m guessing not, but I’m hoping one of the comics experts here can confirm or deny. Come to think of it, I’m not sure why I care.

    MT: [Insert joke about how it looks like the pelicans are the ones talking, yadda yadda, you know the drill.] Hey, if Jackelrod isn’t going to put the effort in, why should I?

    MW: “I may be missing a limb, but there’s nothing wrong with my brain!”
    “Well, since you’ve brought that up, the real reason I won’t date you…”

  125. Calvin's Cardboard Box
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    MW: “I may be missing a limb, but there’s nothing wrong with my brain!”

    “Yes, your brain may be fine, the problem is that your head isn’t getting it done for me. The one-armed band leader’s was far superior.”

  126. Steve
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    MW: Dawn is being menaced by a man she met at the hospital where she volunteered because of Mary Worth’s advice. Looks like someone’s about to get her first negative review on Yelp.

  127. Nehemiah Scudder
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

    Next week, on Apartment 3G:

    Greg: And finally, Margo, a wafer-thin mint.
    Margo: I’m so stuffed I couldn’t eat another bite.
    Greg: Oh, Margo, it’s only a tiny, little, thin one.
    Margo: I’m so full I can’t move.
    Greg: Oh, Margo. It’s only wafer thin.
    Margo: Look. I couldn’t eat another thing. I’m absolutely stuffed.
    Greg: Oh, Margo, just– just one.
    Margo: [groaning] All right. Just one.
    Greg: Just the one, Margo. Voilà.
    Margo: [groaning]
    Greg: Bon appétit!

    (Days later)

    Luann: I love what you’ve done with the apartment, Greg.
    Greg: Thanks!
    Luann: There’s not a trace of Margo left behind!

  128. tallyHO
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:53 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#82):

    - It’s because of the pirate costume, isn’t it?

    Aaaargh!
    So ye won’t be my matie or e’en go out on anudder datie all becawz I got a book f’r an arm?

    Yu be lucky I gots me hand full or I’d flip ta page farty farrrrr o’ me book o’ slightly bad verse:


    Tharrr onect wuz a lovesick mister
    Who dearly missed his dead sister
    Until he found her living doppleganger
    And, decided that it was okay to bang ‘er
    Howevaarrr he told him to stay farrr away,
    Twas neidder de time nor de day
    Fer eidder a peck on the cheeck
    or a f’r a peek at her keistaaarrr.

  129. tallyHO
    November 15th, 2012 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#128):

    Tharrr onect wuz a lovesick mister
    Who dearly missed his dead sister
    Until he found her living doppleganger
    And, decided that it was okay to bang ‘er
    Howevaarrr She told him to stay farrr away,
    Twas neidder de time nor de day
    Fer eidder a peck on the cheeck
    or a f’r a peek at her keistaaarrr.

    //i haven’t been practicing snark that often lately.
    Oh noes! That click clack sound isn’t coming from the keyboard! I’m turning into Ruuuussssttttttyyy!

  130. Alice
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    @The Ghost of Jarrod (#49): Impossible! Sexual intercourse doesn’t exist in the world of Luann. Sexual harassment, yes. Fanservice, yes. But no one ever has sex in that universe. Whenever sexual activity is imminent, the PassEvans-AgGregsive™ Alert System kicks in, and either sends the male participant overseas, or activates his wuss gland.

  131. John C
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: Today we learn of the true motive’s of Dr. Kimble’s wife’s murder by the one-armed man in The Fugitive.

    Gil Thorp: Today we learn how Bono’s career got started.

  132. John C
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    MW: Today we learn of the true motives of Dr. Kimble’s wife’s murder by the one-armed man in The Fugitive.

    Gil Thorp: Today we learn how Bono’s career got started.

  133. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:09 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#20):

    Yes, better than Curley. Let’s not even talk about the Joes.

    Tailgunner Joe was good at slapstick, but he lost points by siccing HUAC on Moe and Larry.

  134. tallyHO
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:10 pm [Reply]

    @Shrug, Natterer to Nyucknyucknyuckers (#92):

    Totally agree.

    In fact, to sorta try and explain why: Kramer from Seinfeld was the well-adjusted person’s Shemp. But, Shemp did set the bar pretty high, that is what made the Joes much more disappointing, especially the one who always said, “Cut that oooouuttt!” while disingenuously genuflecting. That line should have been a set up, if it meant anything. So sad.

    In the annals of Stooge Comedy, the Juxtaposed Joes were a loosely plotted patch of ground explaining the comedy troupe’s decline. The very use of Substitute Curly’s was like a bad wig on a crotch. It was good for one laugh and then very and obviously a stark example of how the Stooges Brand of Comedy descended into a trite formula. It was no longer redundant slaps, conks and kettle drum banging, suddenly with the Substitute Curlys the comedy shorts became filled with cliches.

    Unfortunately, that period of time also made it seemed like Moe and Larry were less inspired by violence and more about getting a check. For the shorts led to movies and to a cartoon and comic books, a last sad gasp at trying to stay both Forever Young and Forever Curly.

    //ha.

  135. TheDiva
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:19 pm [Reply]

    @HAnzMFG (#118): The evidence literally speaks for itself: only Brooke would use the phrase “naked love thrall” because just saying “love slave” would be too bourgeois and pedestrian.

    (And I admit that discussing the terminology for participants in dominance/submission relationships was not something I anticipated doing today, but that’s part of the fun of this site.)

  136. bats :[
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

    @Nehemiah Scudder (#19): the Arizona Daily Star runs FC in a corner with other one-panel strips, like Bizarro. To do so successfully (in a manner of speaking), FC is squashed from the top down every damned day, making the kids look even fatter (and flatter) than we see them online.

  137. Dood
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    Spider-Man: Move over Margo and June, Kraven’s admirer has got it goin’ on.

  138. HAnzMFG
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:36 pm [Reply]

    @TheDiva (#135): hilarious! he can’t help but channel his wordiness into every character, no matter how mundane. I’d kinda like to meet Brooke just to see if he doesn’t pull a thesaurus out of his ass pocket every few seconds in order to painstakingly think of a synonym for a word that hasn’t been used by an actual person since the 1800s. I’d probably regret ever meeting him though

  139. Dood
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:37 pm [Reply]

    Marvin: The skidmarks down the stairs will provide the clues for Slylock Fox to solve this mysteriuous “accident.”

  140. HAnzMFG
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:41 pm [Reply]

    Q. What’s he up to?

    A. Getting some, Peter! Oh wait, it must be a crime or something, huh? In VEGAS?! Or is MJ holding out on you, and you’re starting to think, “if I can’t get any, nobody will!”

  141. Marthas Rolling Pin
    November 15th, 2012 at 2:51 pm [Reply]

    @Little A. (#114): Thought it sounded like you, but a little more subdued than usual. And I do see what you mean.

  142. Marthas Rolling Pin
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:03 pm [Reply]

    @Horace Broon (#124): Thanks for sending me over to the Gasoline Alley Wikipedia page. 1: I didn’t know about Walt finding a second baby lying around and 2: The Sunday color panel at the bottom of the page is a thing of beauty. All y’all go on over and have a look.

  143. Doctor Handsome
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Remember, ladies: if a guy has a deformity, you are obligated to fuck him. Don’t be a jerk.

  144. Atheist amongst the flock
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    @Doctor Handsome (#143): Oh, pity sex. Maybe he should try hooking’ up with Mr T. You know he would pity the fool.

  145. Poteet
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:15 pm [Reply]

    9CL — Doesn’t Solange live with Edda and Seth? *pause to feel sorry for Solange* Or does she move from 9CL household to 9CL household? *pause to feel even sorrier for Solange* And for deity’s sake, Brooke, don’t do the ferkin’ Solange-talking strips anymore. Not appealing. Not endearing. Not smart.

  146. Poteet
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:19 pm [Reply]

    LUANN — Turtles are generally handsome, appealing, good at what they do, and beneficial to the planet. That’s how you tell a turtle from Gunther.

  147. Artist formerly known as Ben
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:26 pm [Reply]

    @Marthas Rolling Pin (#142): It looks kind of like Walt and lil’ Skeezix are about to encounter some Blue Meanies.

  148. Baka Gaijin
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:29 pm [Reply]

    Today’s is probably the greatest Blondie ever this decade. Surprisingly it didn’t involve comically oversized sandwiches or comically oversized conical tits.

  149. KreatureFeatures
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

    Dawn has got to be thinking, “Maybe I should throw myself at Dave one more time.”

  150. ArchieNemesis
    November 15th, 2012 at 3:31 pm [Reply]

    @KreatureFeatures (#149): She’s probably thinking, “Dave used to angrily gesture at me with his dry lime soda!”

  151. CanuckDownSouth
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:00 pm [Reply]

    So is the Luann message that women not only should see the delightful qualities in men who act repelled by them, but they should find this endearing and do all the work to get the guy remotely socialized?? Oh gawd I’m having flashbacks – I’m gonna die alone and be eaten by pets, aren’t I?

    (*How* did Mary Worth get to have the comparatively sensible relationship this week?)

  152. tallyHO
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    Not gonna go the Told Ya So route on Jim The Teacher/ Ferry Accident Survivor…

    I can understand that it is tragic that the guy lost his sister. I think we all can understand how freaky that alone would be. Of course, him being injured is horrible too. But, from all the strip has show of his life it hasn’t shown that the faculty at his school visits him or his friends visit him. It makes it seem like his attaching to Dawn was even weirder, ya know.

    Sure, it is a comic strip, with two or three panels a day and they aren’t gonna explore his deeply but to me the way he has been presented makes him seem more like a nutjob.

    As a convenient for instance, that little kid in Hi & Lois today. That kid is tiny and he seems so out of place. Maybe if he were a recurring, easily reconizable character it wouldn’t be odd to see him but it is. And, he is tiny!

    With Jim in “Mary Worth” he come across as off-kilter almost from the get-go and with Dawn’s bad taste in men and her penchant for obsessing over The Brutal the introduction of Jim seemed like an accident waiting to happen.

    Seriously.

    His outburst was just waiting to happen. Though, it would be an unexpected and pleasant surprise if he suddenly challenged passer-bys to leg wresting matches to prove that his lack of limb isn’t an impediment. But, alas, I expect too much to make me laugh.

  153. demoncat
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

    mw no jim dawn does not want to date you because you have only one arm she does not want to date you because you are a crazy pycho who has become obsessed with her . and want her as your own for good.

  154. McPerson
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:31 pm [Reply]

    Having just watched Battleship Potemkin, today’s Marvin has given me very unreasonable expectations.

  155. commodorejohn
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

    I saw it in the thrift store. I didn’t want to believe it, but I had to know. This is a real thing, done officially by Dave Seville’s successor:

    Alvin and the Chipmunks – My Sharona

    Yes, those bastions of lovable childhood innocence are singing a song that is explicitly about pederasty. Completely un-bowdlerized.

    The record also has “Good Girls Don’t,” but I really can’t bear to find out whether Alvin and company are singing about anybody sitting on anybody’s face. Can someone point me to the brain bleach, please?

  156. Jasper
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    MW- No, its not the arm thing, its that I’m about to puke from drinking this dried pork lime soda for four days.

    RMMD- I hope June brought a back up swim suit. She’s been wearing that skin tight suit for over two weeks, and remember, they didn’t shower when they got off the plane.

  157. tallyHO
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:54 pm [Reply]

    @McPerson (#154):

    Statures of lions coming alive and ravaging the poor lad?

    //i know. i know. it was an ancient pre-communist baby buggy bounding down a flight of steps as the Revolution was on! That was some mighty fine Eisenstein.

  158. Anonymous
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:55 pm [Reply]

    Luann: If they don’t stop talking about Gunther’s “turtle”-like qualities I’m going to … take off my shirt and reveal my boring-ass JC Penney white brassiere. Yeah. Like that.

  159. tallyHO
    November 15th, 2012 at 4:57 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#155):

    Are you joking about the meaning of those songs?

    I don’t have neither a need nor a want to know specifics but I am curious that a band–called The Knack, right?–had such a song that became a hit. Though, now that it occurs to me, now I do not wish to know if “The Knack” means.

    //I thought it was the way British people knocked.
    //haha. just joking. I. don’t. care.

  160. commodorejohn
    November 15th, 2012 at 5:05 pm [Reply]

    @tallyHO (#159): Y’only have to look up the lyrics – it’s not even euphemistic or nothin’!

    Now pardon me, I have to drill out my auditory centers in hopes of removing Alvin singing about how he “always [gets] it up for a touch of the younger kind.”

  161. Liam
    November 15th, 2012 at 5:09 pm [Reply]

    MW-”It’s because I don’t look like your father. You’re the sort of person who will only date someone if they look like a relative that you are secretly in love with.”

  162. CanuckDownSouth
    November 15th, 2012 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#160): looked up “My Sharona” – icky for a *kiddie band* to sing, but “younger” surely doesn’t have to equal underage.

  163. bats :[
    November 15th, 2012 at 5:35 pm [Reply]

    Face it, Avery only has one hat, his fishin’ chapeau. And he’s got a crazy little mind spinning underneath it…

  164. commodorejohn
    November 15th, 2012 at 5:41 pm [Reply]

  165. Chaze
    November 15th, 2012 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    Look, I’m not casting aspersions on Kraven’s masculinity, but I swear I saw his outfit in a window on Rodeo Drive. In fact, don’t be surprised if you see Kim Kardashian sporting it on her next date with Kanye.

  166. Vince M
    November 15th, 2012 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#158): They talk about his ‘turtle-like’ qualities and I can’t avoid hearing that line in ‘Seinfeld’ – “Like a frightened turtle!” Gah.

  167. odinthor
    November 15th, 2012 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    MW, panel 2. — Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to thank Hollywood legend Gloria Swanson for stepping into the role of Dawn Weston for our strip today!

  168. tallyHO
    November 15th, 2012 at 6:25 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#160):

    I’m sure you are right. I just know >< this much of the songs lyrics and intend to keep it that way. You know how some songs are like that. It is like that “Call Me Cannibal Baby” song on the radio.

    I don’t really need to know if I’m just making up a name for a popular song or not, I just cope with hearing it by not knowing what the song is about or more than a few words of the lyrics.

  169. Chaze
    November 15th, 2012 at 6:27 pm [Reply]

    MW – Based on the signs behind Jim, he and Dawn are where “The Streets Have No Names.” That’s ok. “Everybody Knows this is Nowhere.”

  170. Amos Snarkadder, CQB
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    MW Any bets on Jim’s fate now? It seems like all the characters that act out are reprogrammed helped by Mary then exiled from Santa Royale to who-knows-where. When was the last time you saw Jill Black, Nola Wolverson, or Liza “Yououghtabeinsales” Nurse?

  171. Poteet
    November 15th, 2012 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

    S-M — It’s painful enough seeing ordinary-sized really bad hair on comic strip characters. (Dawn, I’m looking at you). But now comes Kraven, who has the very biggest worst hair EVER and it grossly springs out of his shoulders and hangs down to his ass. *loathe loathe loathe loathe loathe*

  172. tallyHO
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:06 pm [Reply]

    @Poteet (#171):
    When a mullet becomes a vest….orrrrr…is it a vestigial vest?

    @Amos Snarkadder, CQB (#170):

    My wish for a twist would be Wilbur and Mary tag team Jim. One plays good cop and the other plays bad cop. Now, Jim would probably not last long and take that “long walk off a short” pier* from the peer pressure** that is inevitable.

    And, a dolphin will pop up and rescue Jim and Jim will find true love with that dolphin fish with the stylin’, sad hairdo*** that reminds him of his sister. They will swim and sleep with the fishes, together, forever in perfect, dysfunctional harmony.

    * someone else mentioned this earlier when he proved to Dawn he is Pier-Phobic
    **someone else mentioned this earlier around the same time as the aforementioned
    *** dolphins are mammals, right; smart mammals can’t account for bad taste in hairdos. Right, cross-dressing Flipper?****

    ****was it “King of the Hill” that had a character…ahem…violated by a dolphin, or was it a porpoise?

  173. Chaze
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:15 pm [Reply]

    Marvin – I don’t know about you, but I’m thinkin’ Richard Widmark as Tommy Udo as I take in that view. Hell, if he’d push an old lady in a wheelchair down a flight, why not an obnoxious baby?

  174. Chaze
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#160):

    My Sharona is right up there with Surfin Bird as an all-time ear worm.

    I suppose turnabout was fair play as The Knack became one of the most openly reviled bands in history. But it wasn’t so much the content of their lyrics as it was the purposeful Beatles references and the late Doug Fieger’s smirk.

  175. commodorejohn
    November 15th, 2012 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#174): Yeah, that combination of riff and drumbeat digs into the brain like those things in Wrath of Khan, it does.

  176. Jamus The Bartender
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:10 pm [Reply]

    Luann: Okay, i’m just gonna say it. I really, really, REALLY don’t want to see Gunther and Rosa having sex, awkward or otherwise. And this is me saying this. As Chef from South Park, God rest his soul, once said, “There is a time and place for everything, and it’s called college.”

  177. Chaze
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:15 pm [Reply]

    @Jamus The Bartender (#176):

    Not to worry, sex doesn’t exist in the LuAnn universe. These people sprung into existence in a process that is the direct inverse of spontaneous combustion.

  178. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @Droopy Says (#75):

    What about us idiots that keep reading this dribble? 4th order?

    // I just read Juggs Parker for the boobs myself….

  179. Jamus The Bartender
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    @Chaze (#177): I dunno. These people don’t seem to do anything spontaneous in their lives. Maybe it’s some kind of cabbage patch magic, like how Wonder Woman was born onto an island of same sex married melee warriors.

  180. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:36 pm [Reply]

    @btown (#78):
    Luann: Less talking, more stripping

    I feel the same way about Juggs Parker and Rex Moron, Medical Disaster!

  181. Indichik
    November 15th, 2012 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: Pluggers are so stupid they take even the most basic metaphors literally.

  182. Anonymous
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:07 pm [Reply]

    Of course Jim has both arms. One’s in the sleeve and the other is inside the shirt. The sleeve is pinned up because Dawn is just, so shallow, and Mary paid for Jim to give Dawn a little pick-me-up so she would continue to BELIEVE in Mary’s advice, not MARRY her for Pete’s sake. While Dawn would be content to string a placid, flattering “differently abled” guy along forever, a “differently abled” guy who wants some reciprocation for crying-out-damn-loud is just … um, no. So…game over! Dawn’s ego is stroked. Mary is still Queen of Meddle and only had to pay for a few weeks of play-acting. Jim did pick up some extra cash and improv experience and didn’t get a life-time sentence of Dawn. There now. Wasn’t that more interesting than the actual storyline?

  183. tallyHO
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

    @Anonymous (#182):

    Right on!

    Tell it like it probably ain’t but certainly should be!

  184. This Guy
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

    @commodorejohn (#155): For what it’s worth, it sounds from YouTube like they did use the “clean” version of “Good Girls Don’t.”

  185. Droopy Says
    November 15th, 2012 at 10:53 pm [Reply]

    @Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör (#178): I don’t see how it’s possible to have a fourth order idiot plot, but then again, the new Spiderman won’t be posted for another hour.

  186. cooby
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:25 pm [Reply]

    Why do one armed people always jump to the wrong conclusion?

  187. Droopy Says
    November 15th, 2012 at 11:54 pm [Reply]

    @cooby (#186): They’re not very good at considering options, because they never say “On the other hand . . .”

  188. tallyHO
    November 16th, 2012 at 12:15 am [Reply]

    @cooby (#186):

    tut tut.

    One-armed Comic-Strip peoples.

    Again, with Jim, he’s just cah-ray-zee. There’s no other explanation. His therapy is probably goosing nurses and holding up his arm as in,

    Guilty! But, at least I was only goosing you in this hospital hallway. I wasn’t doing anything worse, like shooting up smack, whacking the Wilburloaf, picking my nose, playing “handball”, choking random chickens or anything more offensive. I was just partaking of the juicy cushion of your cheek. For my cheek, the facial cheek of Jim Ferryboatsurvivor, is only good for one tear rolling down it. If I weren’t goosing your sweet caboose, dear nurse, I’d be wiping that lone solitary tear from its sad journey before it drops from my sad (not crazy) face.

    Forgive me. And, do not judge me as I stand here goosing other nurses’ asses. It doesn’t reflect badly on yours. I’m just testing the waters, so to speak. Did I mention I survived a ferry boat accident? I’m just testing the waters of the ample flow of goosable patoots. Just don’t judge me, oh, healing woman.

    And, know this: despite my one arm, I swing both ways. If the male nurses don’t dot my eyes and swell up the well of my tears, please don’t slap my cheek…unless you are into that then we should exchange numbers.

    I’m just sayin’. I only lost one limb. The might oak still stands tall when needed!
    Say, you wouldn’t mind wearing a out of fashion wig, would you? It is all I have left of my sister, whose name sank with the rest of her.

    slap!

  189. Der Kömmëntätör, Herr Schnärkïnätör
    November 16th, 2012 at 12:25 am [Reply]

    @Chaze (#174):

    My Sharona is right up there with Surfin Bird as an all-time ear worm.

    Oh, have you not heard about a certain bird?

    Pa pa pa oohm mowh mowh ma ma papa ohwm mohw mohw mohw ma pa papap ohhm

  190. Gadfly
    November 16th, 2012 at 12:29 am [Reply]

    MW: I may be missing an arm, but there’s nothing wrong with the appendage in my pants.

  191. tallyHO
    November 16th, 2012 at 12:37 am [Reply]

    hmmm…in today’s special episode of Saved by the… What the Hell?

    MARY worth:
    Jim is sidewalk raging as Dawn tries to calm him down before he turns into the Incredibly Delusional Ulk.* For some reason, a heavy metal song seems more appropriate here than a love song. But, which one?

    Blondie:
    To refer to a turkey carcass as “one handsome fellow” seems like giving dead turkey carcasses an undue compliment.

    Apt. 3G:
    Right on!
    G-dog plays some Frank to make Margo forget about Buddy Whatsisname and the Other Fellers.** Classy.

    Mistopher Trendy
    So, Barlow is lying about not asking Mistopher Trendy’s advice. I wonder what advice landed the two of them in front of the magistrate?

    pssst. Is Mistopher Trendy available for a consultumitation?

    Why, whene’ers I drunk, and gots time to thunk, aslong as I don’ go ker-plunk, my office is open!

    Well, Mistopher, muh wife dun caught me havin’ relations wif muh mule.

    hmmm….that ain’t much of a pickle, Barlow. If’n she caught ya wif a pickle up your posterior, that might take some ‘xplainin’. But, this is a cinch. Jus’ tell her youse wuz a testin’ a new form of animball husbandry. Hyuk HYuk!

    So, as I was sayin’, Yor Onner, it was jus’ some frendly, solicitated advice. Thas all.

    *the sound of choking on a squeeze bottle fluid, or, so I’ve heard.
    **it is a real band name, unless I misspelled it.

  192. tallyHO
    November 16th, 2012 at 1:00 am [Reply]

    After several days in a Dick Tracy storyline, Walt Wallet ain’t dead yet?

    As i live and breath!

    Beetle Bailey We want you, we want you. We want you and you know it’s true! In the Cavey! Where you can watch a nekkid man shower. In the Cavey! You can watch him for an hour! In the Cavey! You can soap up your hands! In the Cavey! In the Cavey!

    Family Circus In all the seriousness I can muster: Thelma, you are the perfect mom. Keep jugglin’ those jugheads, baby!

    tHIrsty & Lois Hi as a Kite Yes, you read that right. I’m revitalizing the tHIrsty Chronicles right here, right now!

    So, in missing panel three: Thirsty shows up drunk as a skunk in Judge Parker’s* bungalow.

    Say, Hi!, Thirsty shouts, across the weed straddled fence that separates the property values of the Flagstones and the McGlugglugs.
    I need to go on a beer run. Let’s take the Flabmobile for a spin!

    Hi, sufficiently baked, says, Dude, as if you were not ignoring my text messages to save me from this docile domesticity.

    So, Thirsty and Hi jump into the Flabmobile and Hi turns on the CD player to some
    Rev. Horton Heat.

    And, like in a Quentin Tanatino film, the two cruise the hilly highway to get some booze. But, not before Marmaduke starts chasing their tail. Like the hellhound he is, Marmaduke is making ground and has a goal.

    As the chase ensues, the CD Player moves on to the next tracks: The Good Rev’s “Beer 30” and then “The Devil’s Chasing Me”

    How it ends will be discovered in tomorrow’s thrilling installment of tHIrsty and Lois.

    *If I knew who Judge Parker is that would make more sense to me.

  193. LurkerMan
    November 16th, 2012 at 4:04 am [Reply]

    @Mibbitmaker (#94): I stand corrected.

  194. SDL no more!
    November 16th, 2012 at 2:06 pm [Reply]

    Is it nuts that calling Larry Moe and Curly’s brother irritates me no end?

    “Doctor Howard, Doctor Fine, Doctor Howard…”

  195. Readem and Laf
    November 16th, 2012 at 9:55 pm [Reply]

    Spider Man Well. now we know Peter can count to three and the most fascinating thing he can do in Vegas is wonder why only two chimps were used in rehearsal, not three.

    ZZzzz…

    No doubt Jamison will hock Pete’s return bus ticket.

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