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So many questions! But you can always say “yes” to the Comics Curmudgeon — with a generous contribution!

Marvin, 11/15/12

Q. Why couldn’t I have been born into a one-story family?
A. Why not? You’ve been living in a one-story comic for years.

Mary Worth, 11/15/12

Q. It’s because I’m missing an arm … isn’t it?
A. No! That’s not it at all! Although I did notice when you gestured expressively at me over there in the left panel a moment ago that you were holding your drink and pointing using the same hand, and frankly it looked pretty awkward. I, on the other hand, with my two arms, count ’em yourself, one … two, can hold a drink in my right hand while gesturing expressively — like this! — with my left hand, from its convenient location at the end of this arm here! The left arm, second of two! Pretty useful, wouldn’t you say? I was wondering why you don’t do something like tha… AUGH OH MY GOD YOU HAVE ONLY ONE ARM GET AWAY FROM ME YOU HIDEOUS MAN-FREAK!

Family Circus, 11/15/12

Q. Mommy, do we know any princes?
A. We’ve been over this, Dolly — that’s where the pisketti comes from.

Spider-Man, 11/15/12

Q. What’s he up to?
A. He’s introducing Sherry to the Four Stooges.
Sorry, that was harsh — the four monkeys.

Lockhorns, 11/15/12

Scabs, again?

Oh God I am so profoundly sorry.

— Uncle Lumpy