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Someone defeats that other guy

Herb and Jamaal, 5/8/08

Thank goodness Herb and Jamaal is at last casting its penetrating eye on our political process, using its typical rhetorical strategy of making sure that nobody and nothing is mentioned by name, or with any identifying features of any kind. “CANDIDATES MAKE NEW PROMISES!” Heavens to murgatroid! What won’t these slimy politicians do to achieve elected office of some sort? They probably also “EXPLAIN POLICIES” and “ATTACK OPPONENTS!” They’d better watch out, though, because they might get “EMBROILED IN SCANDAL” or “QUESTIONED ON CONTROVERSY!”

Actually, you know what? That’s pretty much how most of political coverage in the newspaper really goes. Now I’m depressed.

Dennis the Menace, 5/8/08

So, will Dennis “disappear” in the sense of “sold to some shady Albanian businessmen and end up cleaning toilets in a mansion in Dubai?” Or in the sense of “entombed in concrete and dumped into the resevoir?” Alice’s face seems to indicate a certain detached curiosity, but little else.

Momma, 5/8/08

I’m not sure what the little dots in front of Francis’s half-crossed eyes in panel two are supposed to represent, but I think Momma may have just punched him in the face.

Pluggers, 5/8/08

Some kind of meat … little salty … tastes a little like chick–OH MY GOD HAROLD OH MY GOD

162 responses to “Someone defeats that other guy”

  1. bats :[
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    Geez, I identify with Pluggers. I have masking tape and genuine Tupperware labels, and I invariably convince myself that I’ll remember what’s in a container.
    Three months later, I’m too scared to defrost it, and so I just throw it out.

  2. Old School Allie Cat
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – I do like that she keeps the leftovers in and old Cool Whip tub. It’s attention to detail like that which almost makes me forget she’s a chicken.

  3. Perky Bird
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    Yes, Francis, you young folks have to wait until the horrible old folks are gone before you can have anything nice. Sort of like how people just wait until the old, incontinent dog dies before they replace the carpet.

  4. Diamond Joe
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

    My yesterthread snark of today’s strips can be found here.

    And to add to what I said about FC, the colorist was obviously out of the loop, or he’d have known Billy is really into Tom Baker’s last season on Doctor Who. The panel should look like this.

  5. Cami
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:39 pm [Reply]

    Cool Whip containers are the bomb.

    Also, that’s a girl? I guess it doesn’t matter, because in Plugger world sex doesn’t really exist, by any definition of the word.

  6. Niall
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:43 pm [Reply]

    2. Allie Cat: I hadn’t even noticed the continuance of product placement in Pluggers…

    4. Diamond Joe: thank you, from the Better Snarking Bureau. :)

  7. Uncle Lumpy
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]



    That is all.

  8. jayjaybear
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:44 pm [Reply]

    in Plugger world sex doesn’t really exist, by any definition of the word.

    And thank all the gods of comicdom for that! I think I would need to break out the costume jewelry and go Oedipus on my eyes if we ever covered Plugger sex in any detail…

  9. Spectrum Rider
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:45 pm [Reply]

    Shouldn’t the H&J thought balloons have read “especially when you’re madly in love… or THEY’RE running for office”?

    Or is it the candidates that, because they’re running for office, can’t believe what anybody else says? (“Hey, that’s not even your baby!”)

  10. TheDiva
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    “What is that?”
    o/’…It’s Plugger, have a little Plugger…o/’

    Okay, so it doesn’t quite scan. But on the plus side the “awful lot of fat” line still fits.

  11. Plugmein
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

    You can tell you are a Plugger when you want to have sex with your boy/girl/dog/bear/goat/chicken/wildebeest friend but can’t because you practice safe Plugger sex and you can’t find the Saran Wrap.

  12. Calico
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    Yes, I do believe that Francis got
    A) Bitch-slapped
    B) Cut out of Momma’s inheritance

  13. Weaselboy
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:49 pm [Reply]

    DtM: What five-or-six-year old kid says “gotta run”? That phrase is reserved for pompous asses who have a squash court reservation at the club.

  14. Triskele
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:50 pm [Reply]

    Today’s “Hi and Lois” might be a little clue to the man Ditto will grow up to be. He sure got excited at the prospect of “strutting” and “sashaying,” possibly while wearing a pair of heels he pilfered from Lois’ closet.

  15. commodorejohn
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    Allow me to chime in on the love for Cool Whip containers – they’re so much cheaper than name-brand Tupperware!

    And if that makes me a Plugger, well, color me plugged.

  16. Muse of Ire
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    Oh, damn, I LOVED Snagglepuss!

    Exit, stage left.

  17. beans
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]


  18. Pozzo
    May 8th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Once again, we see the time-tested comic strip trope of printing headlines on the *back* of the newspaper. Does any newspaper, anywhere, do this?

  19. Pozzo
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:01 pm [Reply]

    Dennis, you’ll look much more menacing if you take off that napkin or ascot or whatever the hell it is. Unless you’re planning on pulling it over your face and robbing a stagecoach. In which case, more power to you!

  20. Certified Christian
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:04 pm [Reply]

    “I can’t believe what the candidate for elected office said about current events!”

  21. TeacherPatti
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:06 pm [Reply]


  22. Hawkeye
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:08 pm [Reply]

    Do you suppose the editor of “Momma” killed someone? That’s the only crime I can think of that deserves the punishment of being forced to be the “Momma” editor. Which also leads me to believe that editor must’ve snitched on another criminal and today’s non-Oedipal strip was their reward.

  23. QM
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:17 pm [Reply]

    Once again, we see the time-tested comic strip trope of printing headlines on the *back* of the newspaper. Does any newspaper, anywhere, do this?

    Tabloid dailies (Boston Herald, NY Post, etc.) do this all the time. Though since the back of the paper is usually sports, the back-page headlines are sports-related headlines.

  24. Bryan
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:22 pm [Reply]

    I always figured Mr. Wilson for a John Wayne Gacy kind of guy.

  25. Luprand
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    “*sigh* As an older person, I feel I should apologize to you for leaving you a world in such terrible condition . . . and then I remember you’re a lying, lazy sack of crap who carries people bodily into drinking establishments. Rot in Hell, Francis, rot in Hell.”

  26. Siubhan
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:26 pm [Reply]

    She can reach that high? Or is he so wipped that when she says ‘bend over so I can smack you in the face’ that he actually does?

  27. commodorejohn
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:27 pm [Reply]

    #21 TeacherPatti – Too specific. For one thing, if “girly-girl troopers” is any indication, “text-messaging” would be something like “phone-word typing.”

  28. mark f
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    My hometown newspaper was supporting the challenger in a congressional election a while back. The headline after election day was “Amorello Loses to Incumbent.”

  29. Emily
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    When I read Dennis this morning, I actually yelled, OH MY GOD MR. WILSON IS GOING TO KILL DENNIS.
    My parents thought I was talking about the Wilson-from-House which would, retrospectively, be a much better comic.

  30. Islamorada Girl
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    Brevity is the soul of wit.


  31. Emily
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

    Also — 21:

  32. Four Questions About The Funnies
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:40 pm [Reply]

    1. Thorp: Why is Milford’s baseball team playing their game on an ice hockey rink?

    2. Is the final panel of Spider-Man, where a strange mutant vulture-man is squatting on a ledge, looking down at the city below, with one hand thankfully out of view, talking to himself about “getting some live action tonight,” the most disturbing Spider-Man panel of the year so far?

    3. The Menacing Blonde Boy: Is Mr. Wilson’s real last name Pinochet?

    4. Fambly Circus: Little Billy is so eager to do whatever he can accelerate global warming– does he want the ice caps to melt and wreak devastating floodwaters on all of humanity, or is he just trying to demonstrate that global warming is merely an unproven theory, like evolution, or gravity?

  33. Unknown Eric
    May 8th, 2008 at 4:48 pm [Reply]

    I would have liked Momma better if she’d said, “As an older person, I apologize for keeping Family Circus on the comics page!”

  34. Sans Sense
    May 8th, 2008 at 5:02 pm [Reply]

    DT: Looks like ol’ Dick has a case of Dab Stract’s Revenge. Hope he’s got a pair of Depends on…

  35. Violet
    May 8th, 2008 at 5:04 pm [Reply]

    I think it’s pretty clear in today’s Momma that Francis is completely shitfaced. The dots in front of his face, the overly expansive gesture in panel one as he slurs a promise to “fix it up real nice”…seriously, can there be any room for doubt? What puzzles me more is the boater-sporting bespectacled southern dandy he’s hanging around with. Do we know this guy? Is this his date, parole officer, imaginary friend? Also, Momma is holding up what I at first took to be a series of charts and graphs she had created relating to the state of the environment, then realized was meant to be a newspaper, presumably bearing the headline, WORLD IN TERRIBLE CONDITION.

  36. OM
    May 8th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]

    So the writers of Herb and Jamaal are calling for the destruction of our current political structure and for the creation of the United States of Anarchy! And the newspapers print it out, as if they don’t have a hidden agenda and a stake in the revolution!

    This makes me sick as an American! Or at least as a Permanent Resident!

  37. NotAGoatHead
    May 8th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers – Whatever’s in that container, she’s got a bigger one of it on top of the refrigerator. ARGGH! IT’S THE REST OF HAROLD!

    Momma – Francis didn’t even have to say “How soon will you be going?” He probably added that after Momma whupped him upside the head for insinuating that the world’s problems couldn’t be fixed until she was gone.

  38. Gal Friday
    May 8th, 2008 at 5:17 pm [Reply]

    Ok, Josh, your comments caused the coke-through-the-nose reaction! But that’s a good thing!

  39. Gal Friday
    May 8th, 2008 at 5:20 pm [Reply]

    HJ: As Bugs Bunny would say, “What a maroon!”

  40. fluffy
    May 8th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    Okay, so in the Herb & Jamaal universe, I guess the whole electorate is so jaded about the process that the NEW PROMISES are going onto the last page in the very back of the paper, where the classified ads normally go. Or are the campaign promises just part of the “EROTIC MASSEUSE” services?

  41. commodorejohn
    May 8th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

    #35 Violet – That’s Thomas, Momma’s oldest child, who’s married and lives somewhere where she isn’t (good plan, Thomas.) And I am deeply ashamed to admit that I know that much about Momma.

  42. cheech wizard
    May 8th, 2008 at 5:56 pm [Reply]

    18/Pozzo – “Once again, we see the time-tested comic strip trope of printing headlines on the *back* of the newspaper. Does any newspaper, anywhere, do this?”

    The Detroit Free Press and Detroit News do, at least in the sports section when they’re covering MSU, U-M gets the front page, for some odd reason – even during basketball season.

  43. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:01 pm [Reply]

    OK kids, it’s time for another fabulous AEN interview. Today’s interview is with the hottest (in several ways) new character in the comics, Samira Abul Hakim!

    AEN: Samira, tell me something about your background.
    SAH: I was born in the Taxistan province of Afghanistan. At age nine, I was forced into an arranged marriage with a mean, ugly, older cousin, Henny Abul Hakim.
    AEN: Henny??
    SAH: He was a standup comedian and a bomb maker.
    AEN: I guess the two kind of go together.
    SAH (ignores AEN): He would go around to Taliban camps and tell jokes while showing the troops how to make explosive devices. His most famous joke was, “Take my life — please!” (Padumpum!) (The official rimshot of Comics Curmudgeon.)
    AEN: An excellent example of Taliban humor. What happened to Henny?
    SAH: Steve Shannon killed him, and I thank him for that.
    AEN: Do you have any children?
    SAH: No. My husband did not want children, so when I reached puberty, he insisted that I have an object placed in my uterus that would prevent conception.
    AEN: An IUD?
    SAH: No, an IED. (Padumpum!)
    AEN: What made you come to the US?
    SAH: The first reason, you already know, is to get revenge on Steve for the death of my father. The second is to perform my one-woman play on Broadway. It’s about my favorite fellow comics character, Bernice Halper, from “Luann”. It’s called “The World is a Bitch”. I think I portray her very accurately.
    AEN: How did you get interested in show business?
    SAH: It was through my late husband. The one good thing he ever did for me was to introduce me to someone who helped me get my first play produced in Kabul.
    AEN: How did that go?
    SAH: It was awful! That’s why I came to the US. Let me tell you, when you bomb in Kabul, you BOMB in Kabul! (Padumpum!)
    AEN: How did you get to the US?
    SAH: I got a grant from the National Endowment for the Humanities.
    AEN (bites tongue, changes subject): That’s a nice watch you have on, what brand is it?
    SAH: It’s a Bomb et Mercier. (Padumpum!)
    AEN: Speaking of bombs, where did you get the explosives that you have wired to Steve’s mother?
    SAH: At Wal-Mart, right next to the fabric section.
    AEN: Is there anything else you’d like to say?
    SAH: Yes, tickets for my play go on sale next week. Only $100 for orchestra seats, so get you orders in early. Also, Death to America!

  44. Cheeky Wee Monkeys
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    Golly, is the country south of mine having some sort of election where people run for office?

  45. Kumquat, Jungle Citrus Fruit
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    #35 Violet –

    To expand upon what #41 commodorejohn said, Thomas is the son being alluded to in this strip:

  46. Zaq
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:18 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I can’t tell you how delighted I would be if candidates running for office would 1) “EXPLAIN POLICIES” and 2) if those explanations were actually COVERED IN THE NEWSPAPER (and/or on TV). Unfortunately, I live in the US.

  47. Hank
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    RE: Pluggers. I notice that today’s “gag” was submitted by someone in Boston. I didn’t realize that there were pluggers in Beantown.

  48. One-eyed Wolfdog
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    There must just be something about that Pluggers strip that screams “spouse murder.”

  49. Violet
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:32 pm [Reply]

    Thanks awfully, commodorejohn and Kumquat, JCF, for the information. At first I thought commodorejohn’s explanation that Thomas lives away from Chez Momma more or less elucidated why he did not feel the need to be stinking drunk like Francis, but then I clicked on that link (yikes!) and concluded that he should be drunk at the very least.

  50. Resumé Man
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:36 pm [Reply]

    Francis probably could have avoided the punch in the face if he hadn’t gone on autopilot while admiring his manicure and realized Momma was actually being contrite rather than for once setting him up to walk into yet another trap of emasculating sarcasm.

  51. skullcrusherjones
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:37 pm [Reply]

    I imagine Mr. Wilson stirring his coffee while running his plan through his head one last time. Then, Dennis comes running in happy as a clam ready to “disappear”.

    He sighs and goes back to his usual sexual fantasties about Mrs. Mitchell while muttering, “It would have been messy anyways…”

  52. skullcrusherjones
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:38 pm [Reply]

    “Person Bites Animal!”

  53. El Santo
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:42 pm [Reply]

    #47 — Y’ain’t seen somma dem Red Sox fans.

    May 8th, 2008 at 6:48 pm [Reply]

    ONE BIG HAPPY: How come we never saw the strip in which Ruthie dives down the stairs and gets her head stuck in the bucket? She can’t really get hurt, this is
    ‘toon mayhem, as the characters in Doonesbury say after they get hit on the head with a falling safe, or something. She can’t spill any blood, she can only spill ‘toon blood, which is ink.

  55. Donald The Anarchist
    May 8th, 2008 at 6:51 pm [Reply]

    H&J Considering there is a commercial currently running around the country about a product that is “so effective it got results in a clinical study,” vague just may be the new…ooops! Anyway, we may very well be living in Herb and Jamaal land and are just now becoming aware of it. (Shudder)

    Momma I don’t think he was implying they HAD to wait until she was gone, I just don’t think he wants her to have any reason to hang around.

    May 8th, 2008 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

    9CL: I have been reading this strip for only a short time, only on this blog, because I don’t believe it is carried in New York City anywhere, and I am not sure most of the time what is going on, or what each character’s relationship is to the others or each other, but I have to say, this is a beautifully drawn and laid out comic strip, no matter what the hell is or isn’t going on, and it’s a pleasure to look at it every day, no matter what.

    This strip is drawn with care.

    Unlike some, and we know which ones they are, that look like they are scrawled in about two minutes, or less, in the dark.

  57. Diamond Joe
    May 8th, 2008 at 7:01 pm [Reply]

    #52 skullcrusherjones:

    “Events Occur!”

    #54 Little A. of the etc.:

    If all of the characters are aware of the reversibility of ‘toon mayhem, B.D. must be pretty angry at Trudeau by now. “Hey, c’mon, Garry! Sherman got his limbs back!”

    But I’m betting Batiuk’s creations, if they know, are more terrified of their vengeful and arbitrary god than anything else.

  58. rhymes with puck
    May 8th, 2008 at 7:04 pm [Reply]

    SF: I want to thank Sally Forth for allowing me to now ignore Sally Forth for the rest of the summer.

    Argyle Sweater: After about a month of it in my paper, I’ve decided that the Argyle Sweater is exactly like the Far Side would be if Gary Larson had a lobotomy.

    FC: How do you know when an idea such as global warming has past it’s relevancy? When you see it in a Family Circus strip.

    FW: Harry could run the band better with one hand tied behind his back.

    JP: Hey, isn’t she breaking Sharia law by being seen in public with a man that isn’t her husband?

  59. commodorejohn
    May 8th, 2008 at 7:05 pm [Reply]

    #43 Alfred E. Neuman – That was cringe-inducingly wonderful, and now I know Bernice’s last name, to boot.


    #56 Little A. – Indeed, it’s one of the very best-drawn strips in the funny pages. Now if only the characters weren’t such pricks…

  60. Carter
    May 8th, 2008 at 7:41 pm [Reply]

    You know, I’m just impressed that H&J referred to being “madly in love” rather than “experiencing an emotion.”

  61. JP (not Judge Parker)
    May 8th, 2008 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    Based on Mrs. Mitchell’s facial expression, I’d say she ordered the hit but isn’t totally confident that Mr. Wilson will deliver the goods.

    That might be my cold medicine talking though.

  62. Adjuster
    May 8th, 2008 at 7:43 pm [Reply]

    58 rwp: so far, nobody’s explained the beliefs of Samira, Daughter of Abul. She may be a Muslim, or maybe she’s a Christian – or a Wiccan. All we know is that she’s anti-father-murderer (until Steve convinces her otherwise).

  63. Harold
    May 8th, 2008 at 7:50 pm [Reply]

    Josh, I’m fine. Don’t worry.

  64. Poteet
    May 8th, 2008 at 7:57 pm [Reply]

    So Momma is God? Well, that would explain the world’s condition, all right.

  65. Poteet
    May 8th, 2008 at 7:59 pm [Reply]

    # 59 commodorejohn — Re 9CL, you said it truly, brother.

    May 8th, 2008 at 8:20 pm [Reply]

    Diamond Joe: I stand corrected. I was not thinking about B.D. I was thinking about some strips in which Mike and Zonker get hit on the head with a ‘toon safe.

    There are serious Doonesbury strips, those to which you refer, and the ones in which Trudeau lets loose some of his whimsy.

    In my own defense, may I remark that B.D., unlike Zonker, and Mike at times, has never been a character who expressed or displayed whimsy of any sort. He has of course mellowed lately since his severe accident, but “whimsy” is not a part of his personality.

  67. Tess
    May 8th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Haha! Pluggers make disgusting food! It’s made worse by months of freezer burn caused by improper storage! Pluggers can’t afford cook books or Tupperware parties. Pluggers are dali-esque nightmare animals designed to send me screaming into the night like some kind of Lovecraftian victim making the mistake of trying to comprehend them!

  68. Shmork
    May 8th, 2008 at 8:48 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers: 1. How many types of meat do Pluggers chickens eat? 2. Do Pluggers chickens have teeth?

  69. commodorejohn
    May 8th, 2008 at 8:52 pm [Reply]

    #67 Tess – I dunno about Pluggers, but for my family at least, it’s not so much that we can’t afford Tupperware as we’re unwilling to pay the exorbitant prices they charge when the containers we’ve already bought work just as well. It’s frugality, not poverty.

  70. cheech wizard
    May 8th, 2008 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    56/Little A – If you like the art in 9CL, you should check out Pibgorn, Brooke’s online fantasy comic. At times, it is downright stunning. Just don’t try to follow the plots – it will only make your head hurt, not to mention try your patience (the current story has been going on for over a year now with no end in sight).

  71. Violet
    May 8th, 2008 at 8:57 pm [Reply]

    #47 Hank:
    I live in Boston and I can tell you that, though we are hardly in the running for capital of Plugger Nation, they do represent. For example, if you go into my favorite neighborhood bar on any given evening, there will be about half a dozen old guys sitting there who will respond to polite salutations of “how’s it going?” with “same shit, different day” and a hoarse chuckle at their little witticism EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM. This may or may not be accompanied by an inquiry as to whether we are having fun yet. I am almost certain these people are Pluggers, though they also kind of remind me of the dudes from Shoe. Dammit, how come my bar isn’t in a tree house?

  72. commodorejohn
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:02 pm [Reply]

    Although I’m sure it’s poverty for Pluggers, since they are routinely reduced to pawning battered personal effects to afford the basic necessities of life. I just want to make it clear that Tupperware is not the be-all-end-all of food storage technology.

  73. Doug Puthoff
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:05 pm [Reply]

    5-8: Today’s alternate FC caption: “Yo! Biatch! I’ll put my $&#**^’ scarf anywhere I want to!”

    Blondie: Why do I think the FLDS are in Alexander’s future.

    Pluggers: I still wonder WTF this strips using funny animals. There’s no real reason for it, and often it implies canabalism. And what species is Jesus in the Pluggerverse anyway?

  74. Ace Diamond
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:06 pm [Reply]

    I think Momma spiked Francis’ drink with LSD and now he thinks a flying octopus is telling him where he went wrong in the conversation

  75. Anonymous
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:13 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers is just signed “Brookins” now. The last time we saw it, it was signed “Cassatt and Brookins.” To make matters curiouser the copyright is owned by “Brookins Productions, Inc.”

    Trouble in paradise?

  76. Talking Squirrel
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:16 pm [Reply]

    59 commodorejohn: “It’s frugality, not poverty.”

    Can’t diss frugality. I tear the funny pages into squares so I don’t have to buy toilet paper. Sure, on Sunday I get a nice color ink transfer from that eco-friendly soy blend, but what the hay. Only a few people see it, anyway.

  77. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:26 pm [Reply]

    #59 commodorejohn— Thanks for the compliments. If my interviews don’t induce some cringes, I’m not doing my job!

  78. NotAGoatHead`
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:32 pm [Reply]

    Plugger poultry peckers. Say that five times real fast.

  79. Diamond Joe
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:44 pm [Reply]

    #77 Anonymous:

    I’ve gone over the strips that have appeared on this site over the last year, and it’s been signed just “Brookins” that whole time. (Which stands to reason. I assume Cassatt writes Shoe, but Pluggers is pretty much written by the readers.)

    The copyright, oddly enough, seems to vary, flip-flopping back and forth between Pluggers, Inc. and Brookins Productions with no rhyme or reason that I can see.

    #66 Little A etc.:

    No dis intended. I was just taking Trudeau’s permeable fourth wall to its logical conclusion.

  80. Diamond Joe
    May 8th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    I mean #75 Anonymous, of course.

  81. Scherzo
    May 8th, 2008 at 10:10 pm [Reply]

    Thursday’s Phantom:
    Notice the subtext of the Walker’s conversation in today’s strip.

    “How are we paying for this?”
    “I hope you don’t think you’re writing the check out of my checking account, O Ghost-Who-is-Sleeping-on-the-Couch-Tonight.”

    “A little something from the Minor Treasure Room of Skull Cave.”
    ‘It ain’t wrong, I’m not sorry, and it’ll probably happen again.’ “

  82. mollificent
    May 8th, 2008 at 10:15 pm [Reply]

    Josh–your Pluggers snark today made me howl. Thanks, I needed that. Loooong day. But then again, that’s exactly why I’m so gad-danged addicted to this site. :D

  83. Echo
    May 8th, 2008 at 10:22 pm [Reply]

    I just cleaned out my refrigerator. I didn’t recognize a good chunk of what was in there. If I’d left it any longer, it would have started a resistance movement. So I guess I’m a Plugger.

  84. Trix
    May 8th, 2008 at 10:45 pm [Reply]

    Yes, a long day with much appreciated comic relief . #21-I was amazed at the skills needed to message that many times and still run a great city. WTF! No wonder we read the funnies.

  85. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    May 8th, 2008 at 11:06 pm [Reply]

    Doug Puthoff @ 73 wrote:

    And what species is Jesus in the Pluggerverse anyway?

    He’s a fish. In the Pluggerverse, that little symbol on pickup truck gates is a portrait.

  86. Mad Dog Rackham
    May 8th, 2008 at 11:09 pm [Reply]

    #58 rhymes with puck / JP: That’s why Gloria agreed to be chaperone. She’s part of a secret terrorist cell. As is Cedric. It’s all part of making JP more relevant.

    Momma: Gee, thanks, Josh. I had successfully avoided Momma for at least a year. And then you subject me to the “artwork” in panel 2. It’s even worse than I remember, and what I remembered caused me to wake up screaming at least once a week.

  87. Edgy DC
    May 8th, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    I like that the challenges of the messed-up world that Momma is apologizing for amount to a particularly difficult sudoku puzzle.

    And I’ll never stop loving that Mel Lazarus’ continues to anachronistically represent the older son’s respectability by outfitting him in a boater that he might have borrowed from Jay Gatsby. The younger son is more contemporary, an idea of what useless loafer son might have looked like as a fifties beatnik.

  88. commodorejohn
    May 8th, 2008 at 11:15 pm [Reply]

    #86 Mad Dog Rackham – Are you implying that the artwork in panel one is any better?

  89. Stroker Ace
    May 8th, 2008 at 11:21 pm [Reply]

    DtM : Don’t worry Mrs. Mitchell. Dennis will reappear…on a milk carton.

  90. InkAllergy
    May 9th, 2008 at 7:29 am [Reply]

    Momma has always given me the creeps. I think the dots in front of Francis’ face represent the realization that his main love interest in life will pass away long, long before he will… thus bringing suicide into the picture. What a horrible, horrible Oedipal nightmare this strip has created.

    May 9th, 2008 at 7:55 am [Reply]

    DT: Terrific police work in the Tracy town (what is the name of the city in which he works, anyway? South Com Munity?) Dab Stract shoots somebody in the ass with a bow and arrow, who is left on the floor to die, no medics are called, and he’s permitted to walk out the door, into the sunset? I guess he’s off to drown his sorrow in his neighborhood watering place, where his favorite bartender, Sal Loon, will keep his glass filled for him until he passes out.

  92. One-eyed Wolfdog
    May 9th, 2008 at 8:12 am [Reply]

    Pluggers can’t be arsed to write new strips even though they don’t even have to write them themselves.

  93. One-eyed Wolfdog
    May 9th, 2008 at 8:28 am [Reply]

    The implications of today’s Bizarro are… well! It gives you something to think about, anyway. You know those tavern puzzles where you have to maneuver some kind of impossibly large widget through an opening that’s clearly too small for it?

    On a completely unrelated note, go for it, Grimmy!

  94. gleeb
    May 9th, 2008 at 8:41 am [Reply]

    56: Yes, 9 Chickweed Lane is well-drawn. As is Zippy the Pinhead. The personal lesson I take from them is that I’m willing to sacrifice some of that for something interesting to read.

    A3G: Where did Alan the dope-fiend hide his stash? In his immaculately clean bathroom?

    ‘bean: Dinkle faces the fact that his monomania left his life otherwise an empty lie. His wife has probably been sleeping with the crazy mailman for years.

    Steve Shannon, legless warrior!: I think he’s lost control of his new legs in the first panel. Understandable with the stress.

    Luann: Gunther wants to be that guy? Look at the 5th period shadow! He’s only a few years from being punched by Mark Trail.

    Mother Goose and Grimm: For once, this strip made me smile.

    My Cage: Oh yeah, that’s an original observation!

    Rex: In the first panel, what’s Rex doing with his right hand?
    He’s missed the doorknob by a foot, but the door still opened.

    Zippy: Any ideas? In Zippy? Are you kidding?

  95. Weaselboy
    May 9th, 2008 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    FC, 5/9: Jeffy takes a page from the Herb and Jamaal playbook.

  96. Cheese-n-Pear
    May 9th, 2008 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    DT: Yeah, those artists just can’t handle killing a former employer and then having a casual conversation over his bleeding corpse. What wimps! Meanwhile, I can’t figure out whether Chief Liz is talking into a very small phone or a half-eaten donut.

    MT: References to the saint solve the question of Andy’s breed. Andy is Roger Moore.

  97. One-eyed Wolfdog
    May 9th, 2008 at 8:59 am [Reply]

    Momma could not possibly have punched Francis in the face unless she possesses (there’s a finite, integral number of s’s in that, that’s all I know) the proportionate leaping ability of a flea, which – hey. Fleas… Momma Hobbes… blood-sucking, parasitic, nearly-impossible-to-kill-without-fire, irritating, ugly, potentially plague-spreading pests? I think there might be something to this.

  98. Widdle Jeffy
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:05 am [Reply]

    Um, I think the word you are looking for Jeffy is fuck.

    Your welcome.

  99. NotAGoatHead
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

    Mthr Gse & Grmm: I accidently laughed out loud when I read it.

    Luann: I think that guy is Dirk going back to get his H.S. degree. Maybe then he can win back Toni.

    PBS: We all could use more telegram-toting monkeys. And what’s with Pig’s headwear?

    Pluggers: When a dog loses its hair that could be a sign of mange.

    Curtis: Don’t make me break my foot off of yo ass!

  100. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:15 am [Reply]

    A3G: Now, I’ve never actually gotten high before, but for some reason this portrayal of drug use strikes me as unrealistic. Call me cynical, but I don’t think Frank Bolle or Lisa Trusiani have either. From looking at panel 2, I don’t think they’ve even been in a stoner’s bathroom before.

    A3G: Another mystery noggin of the comics revealed! Under the cap, Jughead is… RMMD‘s Niki?!

    A.D.: I had to look twice at this to be sure it wasn’t Boffo.

    BB: “A soldier named Bailey”? They’ve all met him before! And there are less than two dozen people on the whole base! Is Camp Swampy a reservation for soldiers whose long-term memories have been destroyed by secret Army LSD experiments? That would explain why they never go to war and Beetle’s still a private after all these years. Even if they were promoted or shipped out, they’d forget about it in a few hours.

    (WT)DT: Yeah, artists have thin skins, all right. Cole Lector’s couldn’t even stop an arrow fired from a 450-year-old bow.

    FC: As disgustingly cutesy as this strip was, it was at least good to see one of the Keane kids in pain.

    thorps. Are Gil and Mimi about to activate their Chunky Twin Powers in panel 2? “Shape of… thunder thighs!” “Form of… a slab of wood!”

    HotC: If we never have to see a strip about the Jonas Brothers again, I will live happily ever after.

    H&J: In Herb & Jamaal, that’s how everyone describes kissing.

    JP: I would explore the ways in which Samira’s statement in panel 3 makes no sense, but I have to be at work in an hour.

    Big Dog: Time once again for Choose Your Own Alternate Caption!
    1) “After this time, it’ll be over, right? Never again? You promise?”
    2) “Now remember, you said you’d be gentle with me!”
    3) “Wait a second… are those Webcams? You would cheapen what we have together?”
    4) “Oh, no. I remember what happened last time I bent over in front of you.”
    5) “Please, I beg of you. Don’t do this. I can’t take it there. How about if we just do the usual? You like that, don’t you?”

    MW: Something more has got to happen with these two. This can’t be over already. Even the Chester saga took longer than this.

    6C: The lighting and coloration in this strip does nothing to dissuade me from the impression that in a few minutes, a guy in a leather mask will be holding her wrists while wheelchair-bound Grampa feebly tries to hit her in the head with a hammer.

    S-M: Lifting dowager socialites’ ugly costume jewelry? Tsk tsk, Mr. Vulture. Shouldn’t you be off yanking Olive Oyl through a porthole or something?

  101. Eric the Baker, Jungle Patrol Bagels & Pastries Division
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:16 am [Reply]

    H&J I for one was a little surprised when Herb* comments about being “madly in love” and is NOT seen looking across at Jamaal**.

    * or is that Jamaal?***
    ** or is that Herb?***

    *** I really don’t care either way.

  102. Archer
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:18 am [Reply]

    Does anyone ever notice that a lot of times, newspapers or books will be backwards?

  103. monsieurjohn
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    JP: “Innocents must die to revenge the martyrs”? That makes no god damned sense at all.

    FC: I believe I will cut this one out and put it on my fridge — without the caption.

  104. TheDiva
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Just when I think the Pattersons can’t get any more obnoxious…

    MW: “It’s what Mom wants…but as soon as the old bag kicks off, it’s every man for himself!”

  105. Artist formerly known as Ben
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:42 am [Reply]


    A3G: Oh yes, Jones makes dope-slinging look so easy. But really it takes a lot of hard work, study, and facial hair cultivation. We can only hope Alan has a new appreciation.

    Phantom: Kit Walker, patron saint of corrupt narco cops everywhere.

    S-M: So apparently the Vulture was hovering around Doris Roberts without anyone noticing the guy with the huge green wings. Or was it one of those “I thought he was with you” situations.

    SFx: There go them bloody rabbits filling up the bloody world with bloody kits they can’t afford to bloody feed.

    GT: Really, Gil’s team would seem to be pretty open minded. They’re not bothered by their coach being married to a hermaphrodite.

    H&J: Yolanda is the new poster child for Asperger’s.

    S4th: It took me a minute, but this one really made me laugh.

    Big Dog: Lady, you do know your’re presenting, right? Maybe it’s intentional, but I just wanted to make sure we were all clear.

    Lockhorns: And the swear jar is about to get a little richer still.

    FC: Jeffy really meant to say “bad world”, as the universe’s meaningless cruelty is driving him towards suicide.

    MT: The dognappers are planning to pack up and move to another area. Perhaps The Quiet Suburb Near That Big City.

    Marvin: Charming. Hey Marvin, you see that big bottle of ink next to the computer? Doesn’t it make you thirsty?

    Archie: Wet Jughead smell is so bad that Archie’s head is about to roll off his shoulders.

    BC: These new characters won’t have a chance if you keep feeding them jokes like that.

    Baldo: A full tank of gas? He said if you won the lottery, not ten lotteries.

    Garfield: That’s okay, I don’t need to see the rest of Jon’s striptease.

  106. velvet goldmine
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:45 am [Reply]

    I know Josh already referenced the flesh-colored gag on Judge Parker’s Mama “Wheelie” Shannon, but I would argue that the colorists, for once, can’t be faulted here.

    That woman’s face is the craggiest crag that ever cragged. What colorist could be expected to notice one nore trapazoid on that mass of lines?

    If, like many women claim, the lines in her face tells the story of every man she ever loved, than that woman is just a big old ho, is what she is.

  107. John C Fremont
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:17 am [Reply]

    Heavens to murgatroid? Exit, stage left.

    A3G – Oh, Alan. Everybody knows, “Only dopes use dope,” so – Oh. I see. Right. Uh, well then, carry on.

    Poor dope.

    MT – No, no, no. What the hummingbird really said was, “Hmmhm, hmm, hmhmm…” etc. Repeat as needed. Consult a physician results last four hours or more. Offer void in Utah and Nevada. Hummingbird not liable for incorrect translation. Uses only genuine Hummingbird parts.

    Say, Mrs. Thief is looking kind of mannish in that first panel. Hoo!

    Phantom – Ha, ha! Millions of dollars worth of treasure accumulated by his forefathers thrown away! Ha, ha! Keep the change! Ho, ho! I’ll bet the previous Phantoms can’t wait to have a talk with him when he gets to Heaven. Or Hell. Or The Great Depository Of Old Jungle Sayings In The Sky. Or wherever the hell these guys go when they kick the bucket.

    Hm. Kick. Bucket. Milford?

    RMMD – Rex, your head. It keeps rearranging itself. Have you been using Alan’s dope? Do you have MRSA? In your nose?

    JP – So, martyrs must die to revenge the innocents, then? Oh, no wonder this bloody thing keeps dragging on. Damn, international diplomacy’s a bitch!

    Seriously, that gag is creeping me out.

    DT – Yes, Liz. Thin, blotchy, deformed skin.

    GT – Grr! Thorp MAD!! It’s like this citizenship problem doesn’t exist! Grr! Thorp SMASH!!

    FC – Bad art! Bad timing! Bad joke!

    Huh, huh! Bad trip, man!

  108. cheech wizard
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    105/Ben – clearly a typo in FC — Jeffey obviously means “bad world” as he kicks and otherwise vents his impotent rage against this huge, soulless orb that cares not a whit for his hopes and dreams and will someday consign him to eternal oblivion.

    GT – Smackdown time in panel two, as Gil and his freakishly mannish wife go mano-a-mano with the dark stormcoulds gathering behind them.

  109. z
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    ” little dots in front of Francis’s half-crossed eyes in panel two ”

    detached retina. Francis will be blind in one eye pretty quickly.

  110. Bootsy
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:22 am [Reply]

    I’m all for frugality, but I must point out that in order to reuse a Cool Whip container, I assume that at some time you actually had Cool Whip in your fridge and consumed it! That’s more horrifying to me than the manbear casserole in the freezer.

    Also, Momma Steve Shannon seems to be wearing an inverted green coffee filter on her head… shame it’s not large enough to cover her hideous face.

  111. commodorejohn
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:41 am [Reply]

    #97 One-Eyed Wolfdog – Hmm, sounds like a new nemesis for the Cocktail to battle!

    A3G – Hey, kids! Alan’s marijuana is hidden somewhere in this scene! Can you find it?

    AS – This is so very not funny. So labored, so unhumorously nonsensical, so badly-executed. Scott Hilburn clearly knows nothing about joke writing, and it’s extremely painful.

    BBlue – Wow. That was strained.


    BB – I think the just-barely-visible checkerboard pattern on the buildings is the clue here. This is some sort of weird bizarro version of Camp Swampy, where nobody knows anybody, “yes” and “no” are reversed, and the garbage cans speak. Welcome to Moonside. Wecomel to Soonmide. Moonwel ot cosidme.

    Crankshaft – “Only other choice” as opposed to what? Putting her in a nursing home, probably. “Okay, mom, these are your choices: either we take away all your freedom, or we take away all your freedom and pretend you still have it.”

    DTM – As if Dennis wasn’t un-menacing enough, he just stole an old joke from the Family Circus.

    DT – Liz, if you made your living fulfilling the nightmarish artistic fantasies of your comissioners, you’d probably be a little on edge and sensitive about your work as well. Those probably aren’t even the worst paintings he’s had to do to pay the bills.

    FC – *glee*

    Garfield – He tilted his head! Mark it on the calendar!


    GT – I’m glad Branden’s shirt is mostly covered, because I think Hello Kitty in the Thorpiverse would be truly nightmare-inducing.

    H&L – Chip likes to tell his mother what color underwear he’s wearing.

    JP – Oh sweet merciful crud, that…thing in the final panel…GET IT AWAY! GET OUT OF MY MIND YOU HORRID ABOMINATION! AAAAIIIGH!!!


    Pluggers – Pluggers are painfully aware of their fast-approaching demise.

    PC – Amen.

    Popeye – He’s so dumb he shouldn’t even be alive.

    SM – What?

    Edison Lee – There’s a lot of room in that trunk, Mr. Lee. Just do it. Your wife won’t even notice he’s gone.

  112. Calico
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:46 am [Reply]

    #105 – You wrote “A3G: We can only hope Alan has a new appreciation.”

    Obviously Alan hasn’t studied episodes of The Sopranos, in which Chrissy realizes making a fast buck even in the Mob isn’t really that easy.
    Stick to your gray paintings, Bub. You’ll be a lot better off.

    FC – Not bad word, Jeffy. Lots and lots of bad words. C’mon, let your inner bad boy come out, like your evil brother Billy.

  113. Calico
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    MT – How are those precious, tiny little baby hummingbirds going to tranquilize that big dog? My skull is confused (but that’s really nothing new).

  114. queek
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:50 am [Reply]

    MG&G: ahhh, the classics.

    PBS: Timmay!

    man, I got nothin’ today.

  115. Tracer Bullet
    May 9th, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

    Judge Parker would be a lot more exciting if I didn’t know they’ll be standing in this living room for another six weeks doing the Hand Jive or conjuring spirits or surfing a monster wave or whatever the hell they’re doing.

  116. anonymously
    May 9th, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

    Momma – Momma and I go way back, I have a book of collected strips decades old. Thomas, Francis, and MaryAnn suffered back then with their Momma, as they do today (doesn’t Mel Lazarus EVER run out of ideas?…oh, never mind, he just recycles endlessly). Thomas’ wife suffers the most, though. The rivalry between her and Momma ain’t funny!

    Cool Whip – so what’s wrong with Cool Whip? Yeah, we eat it. A lot of it. I’m not Emeril, or Rachael Ray. I’m not even Sandra Lee. We put in on dessert, a lot, and we like it, just like every other American citizen.

  117. Laura c
    May 9th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    MT: No one ever suspects the hummingbird.
    A3G: I too am seriously disturbed by the lack of realism. The salient feature of pot smokers is that they smell like the stuff! At the very least, LuAnn should be saying “Gosh, Alan, you smell like one of those Jamaican guys! What do they call them? Rotarians?”

  118. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    May 9th, 2008 at 11:14 am [Reply]

    Thank you, Uncle Lumpy, for brightening my day.

    Hey, have any of you seen my sister Murgatroyd? She was standing over here just a second ago.

    Yeah, I think I saw her in the corner with Grand D. She was rockin’ the mic, ya know?

    Excuse me.

  119. NotAGoatHead
    May 9th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]


  120. bats :[
    May 9th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

    Geez, Widdle Jeffy sure has issues with gravity! First, problems with mountain triking and now this!
    Sorry if this is a repeat, but I had to do a quick scan of the comments after the site poofed last night and I subsequently panicked, looking for it (however, I had a jolly time going through Josh ‘n’ Amber’s wedding site!). Anyway, how sad is it that da Keane’s are ripping off a Conley’s idea:

  121. Bitter Scribe
    May 9th, 2008 at 11:40 am [Reply]

    Josh–I just gotta say, today’s post was even funnier than usual.

    FWIW, Kraft Foods just came out with Cool Whip in an aerosol. If it catches on, the tub’s days may be numbered.

  122. NotAGoatHead
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    121: Great. Now Pluggers can squirt the glop straight into their mouths.

  123. Old School Allie Cat
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:03 pm [Reply]

    #121 – Bitter Scribe – wouldn’t Cool Whip in an aerosol basically be Rediwhip?

    I’m just saying.

  124. Cap'n Cheetah
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Cool Whip in aerosol form? That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve heard today. It would be like E-Z Cheese, only E-Z Whip…and no more great food storage containers?! This concept will never take off.

    On an unrelated note, I can’t remember if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but does anyone else have trouble viewing comics on the Chron’s page? Or anywhere, for that matter. There are several comics that don’t show up, instead I get a little box that says “Content currently unavailable.” Does anyone know how I can fix this? It’s sad because I never get to read some of the greats unless Josh posts them or they are on (which, strangely enough, works) or have their own site.

  125. Sans Sense
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    GT: Wow, Ms. Thorp sure has some serious cankles…and cknees and cthighs…

  126. Batman Beatles
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    Luanne: Wow! I didn’t know Tom welling went to that high school!

  127. commodorejohn
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:24 pm [Reply]

    #124 Cap’n Cheetah – That happens to me sometimes. I find it’s best to wait five minutes or so, and then hit CTRL+F5 to reload everything on the page. If that doesn’t work, you just have to come back to it later.

  128. NotAGoatHead
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:27 pm [Reply]

    Archie: “Wet Judhead Smell” If you’re starting a band, keep that name in mind!

  129. Tweeks_Coffee
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    Too busy for comments today, but I thought I’d just share that I stumbled across the perfect cure for the blues today…

    I got a good laugh out of all these strips today. Particularly My Cage; Bat-bat really cracked me up for some reason.

  130. commodorejohn
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:42 pm [Reply]

    #128 NotAGoatHead – Actually, “wet Jughead smell” sounds like it would be a great euphemism for some kind of hygiene deficiency…not the “fishy smell,” but something along that line of thought.

  131. NotAGoatHead
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:55 pm [Reply]

    130 commodorejohn: You mean like, “Eweoo! Leave that girl alone. She’s got wet Jughead smell.”

  132. Honeypot
    May 9th, 2008 at 12:57 pm [Reply]

    41, 111 – okay, commodore john, I’m calling you on this one.

    You’ve been railing against the adult kids in Crankshaft that have to deal with the man’s aging mother. What the holy hell do you expect them to do? Rose is every bit of an appalling narcissist as momma is, and actually even worse. She’s put those poor people in a no-win situation by refusing to make provisions or cooperate in her own care. Momma is only a Rose who hasn’t gotten old enough to adequately manage her own care, give it a few more metaphoric years.

    Maybe I seem a bit sensitive about this, but my mother is cut from the same cloth. She actively resisted any assistance from her kids while demanding that we put our lives on hold for her whenever she had one of her many emergencies. She’s mean, petty, cheap, and vicious, just like Rose.

    Her solution for the problem of her advancing dementia and inability to care for herself was to get her “best friend” – a woman who kisses her ass and was working on robbing her blind – to live with her. Now my sister and I have taken her to court to get the state to declare her incompetant and assign an impartial conservator to manage her affairs.

    So, I have NO idea why it is better for a woman like Rose to “maintain her freedom”, unless it’s a good thing to be a target of all the sharks that love to feast on the elderly. Freedom only has meaning if you can remember what you had for breakfast 15 minutes ago, and you aren’t stripped of your life savings by people that don’t give a rat’s ass about you.

    My sympathy is for the son and his wife who haven’t kicked her to the curb to go be nasty to someone else, and are trying to the best of their ability to help. Now, Crankshaft, he deserves whatever misery he gets.

  133. ms
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    GT: When they put periods in B.F.F, it kinda misses the point. At least Marvin got it halfway straight….

    @125: those moon-boots they’re running in develop everything to the exact same size.

  134. TheCasey
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    105 – AfkaB re: Garfield With you 100% on this one. And really, what’s going to be more impressive than taking off your bowtie simply by flexing your massive neck muscles?

  135. Stij
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:15 pm [Reply]

    118: oh lol, is that a Newcleus reference? I’m surprised no one else caught that.

  136. commodorejohn
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    #132 Honeypot – I dunno, I guess it’s mostly because this is Tom Batiuk doing this in the funny pages. You’re right, real life is a lot more complicated, and I’m not trying to say that you or anybody else with elderly parents are doing something wrong; I’m sure you’re making the best decisions you can, given the circumstances. But that’s not what Batiuk’s about. Tom Batiuk is a horrible, loathsome sadist who writes characters merely so he can take away everything they ever held dear and humiliate them in every possible way before finally shuffling them off the mortal coil in a completely undignified demise. This is just one more example of that.

  137. Diamond Joe
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Since there’s nothing worth snarking on in the strip today, I just want to agree with what others here have said about this being one of the best-drawn newspaper strips around. It surprises me that although Wikipedia lists no less than six artistic influences on Brooke McEldowney, Al Hirschfeld is not among them. The linework is so Hirschfeldian, I keep wanting to look for NINAs in Dr. Burber’s hair.

    Agnes: When this strip just features its regular characters, I’m perfectly willing to consider it “stylized.” But when, as today, it features a character who’s supposed to look fairly realistic, it just seems badly drawn.

    A3-G: What with the reference to “rock” in Sunday’s strip (which, because of the longer lead time for Sundays, was probably finished weeks before the daily that simply called it “dope”), and to a pipe today, I’m wondering if Alan was originally supposed to specifically be on crack until someone, well, cracked down on it, and substituted the more ambiguous “dope.”

    Cathy: So where do you buy household thrones?

    Crankshaft: Please, please tell me this doesn’t mean she’s going to be appearing more often.

    DT: Why is Liz holding the receiver of a child’s toy telephone up to her ear?

    DieS: Cats get along with mummies? Mummies love string? A punchline isn’t doing too well when you doubt most of its premises.

    Drabble: This is a situation I’ve faced myself, so I’m primed for humor about it. And yet the cartoonist can’t assemble it into a joke that even faintly amuses me.

    Foob: Nitrous oxide is N2O. The sad thing is, you can bet Rod knew this, but Lynn didn’t bother to ask. (Also, free nitrogen is N2. Just plain N doesn’t exist free in nature.)

    GT: OBVIOUS JOKE ALERT! “Two more rips today for Elmer Vargas.” “Wow! Maybe he should lay off the bean burritos.”

    GaBI: I may be dating myself, but I can’t read “Sport Belch with Zip Drive” without imagining a car you can stick 100 or 250MB diskettes into.

    H&J: Wait, is the strip snarking itself?

    Lockhorns: I find the concept that they have a “swear jar” far more amusing than the joke itself.

    MT: You know, these panels that reduce the buildings containing our characters to tiny background features make me really appreciate how little the affairs of individual people really matter next to the grand sweep of nature. Too bad the other panels are trying to make me care about this shit.

    DukeDukeDukeDukeOfMarm: It’s a pretty wan hope that your readers have never seen a Peanuts comic with Snoopy’s dimensionally transcendental doghouse.

    MC: Marvel actually used to have a comic called Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham. “Bat-Bat” is funny, though. But then, I’m an anonymous, cynical #$@&.

    Phantom: The Ghost-Who-Squanders-His-Heritage!

    RM: You know what would brighten the comics immeasurably for me? If Andy from Rex Morgan and Andy from Mark Trail were exchanged for the rest of their respective storylines.

    Amused me: GF, PBS, PC, R&R, RwO

  138. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:33 pm [Reply]

    It is! I wondered if anyone would get it… though I suspect once the comments get past 100 people read less.. carefully.


  139. Mountain Mama
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:35 pm [Reply]

    “Mountayne Ma-Ma”??????



  140. Alfred E. Neuman
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:38 pm [Reply]

    MC—- For fans of Norm (aren’t we all?), here is the latest scientific info on the platypus from the Washington Post. Unfortunately, the article does not address the issue of premature baldness in platypuses.

  141. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

    #96 Cheese-n-Pear:

    References to the saint solve the question of Andy’s breed. Andy is Roger Moore.

    My goodness, they’re going to petnap the famous Simon Templar!

    FC: A beautiful moment. Yes, this one’s going on the fridge, monsieurjohn, sans caption.

  142. Tonio
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

    Friday’s Dennis the Menace – Evidently each syndicate supplies its cartoonists with an emergency kit of old gags, and Ketcham has been dipping into the kit so much that the box is falling apart. If horse racing operated like cartooning, Eight Belles would be racing in casts, and her sire Barbero would be racing in a wheelchair.

  143. Bootsy
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:51 pm [Reply]

    # 166, anonymously. I’m not Rachel Ray, or Emeril, or Sandra Lee either. Hell, I’m not Stan Lee. I just don’t like Cool Whip. You can have mine! The world is big enough (and has enough Cool Whip) for all types. Not dissing the
    Cool Whip eaters or the savers of the plastic tubs either.

  144. Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    Alfred E N (140), reading about platipuses the other day lead me to reading about echidnas on Wikipedia and learning some vaguely disturbing reproductive information, which I will not share.

    But I will share that both platypuses and echidnas produce milk, but have no nipples. Some day one of you will win a pie piece in Trivial Pursuit because I told you that.

    Also: Bootsy (143) count me among the Cool Whip haters, though I too am no Cool-Whip-Lover hater. Free to be U and Me!

  145. Old School Allie Cat
    May 9th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

    #143 – Bootsy – I have no real problem with Cool Whip. Miracle Whip is another story altogether – take perfectly good mayo and make it taste like it went bad – that’s Miracle Whip.

  146. Mariko
    May 9th, 2008 at 2:08 pm [Reply]

    Yesterday’s Gil Thorp . . . that absolutely can’t have been Kaz. I refuse to believe it.

  147. Anne
    May 9th, 2008 at 2:25 pm [Reply]

    I think Momma lifted up her shirt to show Francis her hideous, saggy, old-lady tits, and that’s why he’s reeling. Maybe she even shook ‘em.

  148. bats :[
    May 9th, 2008 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    147. Anne: Momma’s mammaries probably don’t so much shake as sway, as if in a gentle breeze.


  149. The Wild Sow
    May 9th, 2008 at 3:01 pm [Reply]

    #137: Cathy: So where do you buy household thrones?

    We bought ours at Builders Square, in the Plumbing Dept.!

  150. Certified Christian
    May 9th, 2008 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers are almost dead.

  151. NotAGoatHead
    May 9th, 2008 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    I perceive that the problem most people have with Cool Whip may be the ingredients. Here’s a good analysis:

    Personally, I think it tastes good but I’m leery what it may be doing to or in my body. But hey, we’re all free to eat what we want. Enjoy!

  152. queek
    May 9th, 2008 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    140: thanks for that link. My local deadtree had a truncated version, having removed most of the “science hard!” portions. The Freep-version did, however, mention that the Aboriginal origin legend involved a duck and an amourous water rat. :-)

  153. Tweeks_Coffee
    May 9th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

    #144 – Bunnë, Official Comic Execrator: “reading about platipuses the other day lead me to reading about echidnas on Wikipedia and learning some vaguely disturbing reproductive information, which I will not share.”

    Yeah, I was reading that article on Wikipedia too and saw what you’re talking about. Now I’m never going to be able to look at Knuckles (from Sonic) the same ever again.

  154. Tweeks_Coffee
    May 9th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

    #153 – me: Now imagine I said that with a hint of good grammar. Cripes, I need sleep.

  155. Zac
    May 9th, 2008 at 5:08 pm [Reply]

    Re: 1. The difference is that Pluggers will eat it anyway.

  156. Bitter Scribe
    May 9th, 2008 at 5:29 pm [Reply]

    #121 – Bitter Scribe – wouldn’t Cool Whip in an aerosol basically be Rediwhip?

    Pretty much. The distinguishing characteristic is that the overcap is shaped like a glob of the stuff. You can check it out here, if you’re interested (scroll down to the bottom).

    I just hope people don’t eat the overcap by mistake.

  157. Poteet
    May 9th, 2008 at 6:08 pm [Reply]

    # 1 bats — I do defrost it. Sometimes I eat it. Sometimes I offer it to the Raccoon Gods by throwing it from my deck door onto the area between the house and the creek. I suspect that Possum Gods and Crow Gods are sometimes involved, but one way or another, just about everything disappears except orange peels. I suppose I could try submitting that idea along the lines of “Plugger garbage disposal,” but I think I’d rather stab myself with a dull fork.

  158. electro
    May 9th, 2008 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Is it just me or is this Pluggers really scraping the bottom of the old human-foibles barrel? Not that it doesn’t often do that, but this is just so … universal. What happened to punchlines depending on Pluggers being poor, stupid, obese and/or depressed? At this rate, I fully expect to see a Pluggers cartoon with the caption: Pluggers put down their glasses and later can’t remember where they left them.

    Hat’s off to you then, Josh, for being able to at least mine a little light-hearted cannibal humour from it.

  159. anonymously
    May 9th, 2008 at 9:22 pm [Reply]

    #121 – Cool Whip in a cannister? Actually, I think that might be a good idea, not that I adore Cool Whip so much (I like Reddi-Whip better), but that would free up a lot of freezer space, and (sorry, Pluggers who use it as Tupperware) I’m sure a sizeable percentage of our landfills is made up of old Cool Whip containers. They just aren’t recyclable, except for storing leftovers in. I use them to store leftover spaghetti sauce because that stains my ‘good’ Tupperware.

    Get Fuzzy: “no one walks the streets of Saskatchawan! They’re covered with ice!” saith know-it-all, Canada-hating Bucky! HA!

  160. NotAGoatHead`
    May 9th, 2008 at 10:52 pm [Reply]

    #156 Bitter Scribe – My God! It’s a dildo!

  161. trey le parc
    May 12th, 2008 at 2:31 pm [Reply]

    “Herb & Jamaal” may exist solely to mock me for not pursuing a career as a comic strip artist/writer because, hey, if this crap passes for a strip, hell, then ANYONE can pen a strip.

  162. Mr. Vorhias
    May 13th, 2008 at 8:28 pm [Reply]

    Maybe it’s just me, but in my head all the Pluggers are voiced by John Goodman and Katey Sagal.

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