Main content:

Margo marriage mania

Apartment 3-G, 6/6/08

Reasons why Margo might have the Wedding March set as her phone’s ringtone:

  • She’s read the The Secret and now believes she can make a marriage proposal happen by sheer force of will; thus, she surrounds herself with wedding-related media at all times.
  • That ringtone indicates a phone call from her hapless assistant Sam, who’s been left in charge of her now largely forgotten wedding planning business. He’s probably calling for help about yet another peacock-related disaster.
  • That ringtone’s been assigned to Eric, about whom Margo finally stopped caring about five minutes ago. He’s using his satellite phone to make his one phone call from the police station allowed by Chinese law before he has his organs harvested, but Margo’s decided to fall for Jack’s brushcut charms instead.

(By the way, that strip with Sam in it that I linked to above is more than a year old, and Margo is already boasting about her imminent engagement! So sad, so sad.)

Mary Worth, 6/6/08

“That’s right, Mary! Now that my mother’s literal dead weight is no longer holding me back, I’m someone of stature and consequence in this town! That woman in the hideously patterned shirt … that intellectual snob, out reading in public … why, I could have either of them thrown in jail, their lives destroyed, as easy I can clench my right fist, like so! I’ll be ordering you the house Chianti at La Rosa, but I won’t be drinking any; I’m already drunk with power!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/6/08

“No way, man! You’ll pry my filthy, soiled wrestling mats from my cold, dead, MRSA-infected hands!”

Slylock Fox, 6/6/08

Cowboy one is out of his mind on mescaline; cowboy three is taking a “spirit journey” thanks to peyote; cowboys two and four are tweaking on good, old-fashioned meth.

283 responses to “Margo marriage mania”

  1. jvwalt
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:00 am [Reply]

    Jimmy has obviously heard the rumors about Rex, filthy wrestling mats, and formerly-illegal intimate activities. Thank goodness for Lawrence v. Texas!

  2. Mibbitmaker
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:27 am [Reply]

    6/6 FC: Better under-the-circle caption:

    “…And those people are called ‘oil executives’!”

  3. Mibbitmaker
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:31 am [Reply]

    Btw, don’t forget to read yesterthread comment #55! It’s A DOOZY!!![/Alan Kalter]

  4. PeterW
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:34 am [Reply]

    Friday’s post before dawn Friday?

    Josh is posting on Lumpytime.

  5. Plasma
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:12 am [Reply]

    Zits: Ahahah! It’s funny because teenagers are voracious! Actually, I did laugh a little.

  6. monsieurjohn
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:16 am [Reply]

    That stock boy has obviously been golfing with Rex.

  7. Brian
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:25 am [Reply]

    Oh, Margo. Your anything-but-quiet desperation fills my own blackened heart with mirth. Bitter, bitter mirth.

  8. Sue D. Nymme
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:27 am [Reply]

    Appointed to the towncouncil? Since when is a town council not an elected body? Is Maryworthia a dictatorship?

  9. Filthy Assistant
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:38 am [Reply]

    Maybe I’m retarded but cowboys one and two look exactly alike to me.

    These things always stump me though. I can usually narrow it down to three.

  10. mojo
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:38 am [Reply]

    MW: Oooooooh! Town COUNCIL!!!</strong Somebody PINCH me! Why, this story line just keeps getting BETTER and BETTER!!!

  11. Filthy Assistant
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:39 am [Reply]

    Oh, it’s the sideburns. Pretty sneaky, Slylock.

  12. Mary Worth Discussion Group co-prez
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:46 am [Reply]

    First job… get rid of all log cabins in Santa Royale!

  13. Pinback65
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:46 am [Reply]

    Nice to see Bob Weber is throwing some work to the Frito Bandito.

  14. Lettuce
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:49 am [Reply]

    MW: “Our City’s Town Council?” Is that just the JV team for the City’s City Council? And who else sits on this vague city’s admistrative body? Herb? Jaamal? BOTH???

  15. kippetje2000
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:30 am [Reply]

    Has anyone ever noticed how dum dum de dum of The Wedding March sounds an awful lot like the dum de dum dum of the Death Toll. It’s how I feel after spending time with the Apt 3G girls….dumb dumb dumb.

  16. rockland
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:31 am [Reply]

    #9. After going into Photoshop and superimposing each of the cowboys on top of each other, 1 is almost identical to 2, and differs from 4 by maybe a pixel’s length on the neckerchief.

    I think the real reason they’re different can only be ascertained once you realize that none of them are wearing anything from the neck down.

  17. Shoshi
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:33 am [Reply]

    That’s some fancy ponytail Rex is sporting in panel one!

  18. Ed Power, Writer of My Cage
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:34 am [Reply]

    Hey all,

    I’ve been crazy busy lately, but Spider-Brick’s question to me on yesterthread was so specific I figured I should answer back.


    Anyone going to MOCCA in NYC this weekend?

  19. True Fable
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:38 am [Reply]

    #16 rockland – Yes, but that leads us to the next question – hanging to the right, or to the left? Or straight up?

    Aw c’mon, you KNOW that’s the next question.

  20. John C Fremont
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:44 am [Reply]

    La Rosa, eh? Must be Italian for Bum Boat. I’ll have to run that through Babelfish.

    Hi, Red!

  21. Ham Gravy
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:59 am [Reply]

    MW – “Why with Ron now on the Town Council, I can date him, and thereby meddle with an ENTIRE CITY! Now that’s HAWT!”

  22. gleeb
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:09 am [Reply]

    Archie: I actually like it. It’s physically impossible, but hey, what’s a comic for?

    ‘shaft: An older, balder, somewhat calmer Travis Bickle is going to take Ed to the Jersey meadowlands and gut him with a knife.

  23. TurtleBoy
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:16 am [Reply]

    MW: Ah, Charterstone, the Betty Ford for fashion rejects.

  24. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:21 am [Reply]

    They may call themselves cowboys, but that spastic-fantastic expression of ecstasy says “standing very directly behind a frightened sheep” to me.

  25. Ed Power, Writer of My Cage
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:22 am [Reply]


    Spider-Brick @ yesterthread:

    I was reading the MC blog when I was reminded of something that’s bugged me in the past….what’s the common practice for married females in the MyCageiverse? Specifically, what’s going to happen to Bridget’s last name when she and Norm finally tie the knot?

    That one is actually being debated as I want to marry Rex and Violet off next year. (Since we divorced Jeff at the end of our first year, and am killing off another character in the beginning of our second, I thought it’d be nice to do a happier event next year, and some wedding planning type stuff this year)

    While I have an overall storyline for the characters and a background story for the Earth, some of the little things get debated.

    We had a debate on what would happen with an offspring with 2 different parents too.

    Still, the debates are fun and they’ve never effected the backstory I have for their Earth, which in my infinite geekiness I refer to as Earth-133 (M = 13, C = 3 :D )

    Speaking of Bridget, we’ve seen signs of her overspending habit before, but what does she spend all that money on? She always wears a slouchy T-shirt and jeans,

    She that’s why I like feedback. I know why Bridget is in debt, but for whatever reason I never thought to put it in the strip since the joke was just that she was broke. I’ll rectify that. Thanks. :)

    And who is Norm going to vote for, Bearack Obama or John McCrane?

    LOL! We have talked about this too. My editor’s opinion is the characters are too inside their own head to do jokes about politics. What do you guys think? We’ll see what happens as the as the election grows closer. Oh, and you did get one of the names that were considred for one of the candidates.

    “One more thing, on the topic of animal name puns: You’ve been doing good so far by using them sparingly and avoiding the delusion that an animal pun name alone is an adequate punchline.”

    Thanks! Speaking of the puns though, we have a Sunday coming up that’s jam packed with them! I’ll give you a hint: One of them is Blue Jay Simpson. ;)

    “Love to Melissa”

    Ahh…you’ve obviously seen her picture on our blog. :D :D :D

  26. Weaselboy
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:32 am [Reply]

    So I guess if I asked a Plugger if he’d like to watch Singin’ in the Rain, he’d give me a condescending snort and say “a movie in color from 1952? I don’t think so.”

  27. queek
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:44 am [Reply]

    9CL: for those who don’t know/don’t follow it, Brooke’s most recent LJ post in regards to his current plotline can be found here:

    and its a Dingo-doozy to start! :-)

    That post just about makes up for his Unicorn arc, as far as I’m concerned.

  28. GotFuzzy
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:50 am [Reply]

    9CL: Maybe I am clueless in the physical laws of of the Edda-verse, but just how did she impel Amos into the ceiling over the phone, her formidable javelin skills nothwithstanding? Or did she actually whip her cordless phone at him from her house, and that somehow made him shoot straight up? Or maybe a unicorn did it.

    Cathy: Oh Cathy, is there a part of your body that you don’t despise?

    C’shaft: It’s not often that I hope that the NYPD overreacts and fills a taxi full of lead, but this is one of those time.

    FC: Yet another example of bizarre comic strip furniture arrangement. At least in Blondie the perpendicular chairs are in the same time zone.

    Cancerbean: Is that a cigarette in Young Winkerbean’s mouth, or just the most misshapen smirk ever? One would lead to cancer, and the other could be the result of a stroke, so in this strip it’s even odds.

    FOOB: Oh for crying out loud, April, he’s just standing up! No need to panic. But it is great that you alone out of your awful family thinks to come over and chat with the old guy.

    GF: Well, at least we know what’s on the summer reading list on the ranch at Crawford.

    Lio: I’d watch that. Hell, I’d TiVo that!

    PBS: Hope there’s plenty of room in that bed.

    Pluggers: So Pluggers fear color, social upheaval and independent studios? Sounds about right.

  29. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    June 6th, 2008 at 8:23 am [Reply]

    Ed Power @ 25: Thanks for the quick and detailed… uh… non-answer to any of my questions. ;-) I guess I can see why you can’t reveal things that are either not settled or are the topics of future strips, but did you have to compound things by revealing more things to wonder about? (Yousa tink people gonna DIE?)

    “Love to Melissa”

    Ahh…you’ve obviously seen her picture on our blog. :D :D :D

    No, I just know that without her, we’d have to look at characters like Polopony Horse. X^P

  30. Weaselboy
    June 6th, 2008 at 8:26 am [Reply]

    Other movies Pluggers don’t like:

    Gone with the Wind
    The Wizard of Oz (the second half)
    The Sound of Music
    Citizen Kane
    An American in Paris

  31. Nate
    June 6th, 2008 at 8:27 am [Reply]

    I dunno, meth seems unlikely considering the full set of pearly whites those cowpokes are sporting.

  32. Luprand
    June 6th, 2008 at 8:30 am [Reply]

    I don’t know if anyone else noticed this, but … yesterday’s Mark Trail used contractions. Isn’t that illegal or something?

  33. teenchy
    June 6th, 2008 at 8:39 am [Reply]

    Great, we get to see Rex’s O face.

  34. Just_human
    June 6th, 2008 at 8:55 am [Reply]

    You can always count on Slylock to put the identical images as far from each other as possible. It’s almost always 1 and 4.

  35. Matt Algren
    June 6th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Say what you will about Apartment 3G, but they finally upgraded Margo’s phone to a Blackberry. This is a huge step forward. (Never mind the clicking sound when she turns off the ringer.)

  36. AtomicDog
    June 6th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

    Slylock – Special guest star: the Frito Bandito!

  37. mojo
    June 6th, 2008 at 9:11 am [Reply]

    So Margo’s ringtone is the Wedding March (which for some Freudian reason played in my head as “Hail to the Chief”).

    My ringtone is Homer Simpson chanting “I am so smart; S-M-R-T!” over and over again.

    Clearly we are both delusional.

  38. The Spectacular Spider-Brick
    June 6th, 2008 at 9:13 am [Reply]

    And now, fresh off the boat from Italy, Il Snarko:

    BB: Camp Swampy’s resident goomba, Rocko, has heard through the grapevine of Beetle’s “sub” tendencies and has decided to test him.

    C’Shaft: Ha ha! Oh, I can tell we’re in for a doozy of a week of strips, with Ed making wry New York-based malapropisms to tickle our funnybones! In tomorrow’s strip, upon seeing scandalously-dressed women standing on a streetcorner: “I guess those are the So-Hos I’ve been hearing about!”

    (WT)DT: Shirl Locke doesn’t really get how the police work, does she? You prevent crime by the deterrent effect of promised future punishment, not by presciently showing up before crime is committed.

    FC: What… is that lumpy purple homonculus on Thel’s lap? You can’t tell me it’s a human, because the only thing I’ve ever seen that small that can speak had a beak and feathers.

    thorps. I think the guy in the background of panel 3 is missing his tennis racket. Oh, and: “Thanks for sticking up for me, beaner scum.”

    MW: It is possible to be appointed to an elected town council; if a seat becomes vacant unexpectedly through resignation or death, many municipalities’ bylaws allow the remaining members to select a temporary replacement if the remainder of the term isn’t long enough to make a special election practical. Which means Donna Amalfi was probably on the town council, and momma’s boy Ron is riding her crusty coattails even after her death. Whatever happens, pleeease don’t let this be the beginning of a wacky storyline in which Mary and Jeff end up running against each other for Town Council and end up falling back in love again. ‘Cause that would cause me to lose faith in our electoral system and do something crazy like vote for Ron Paul.

    RMMRSA: Word about Rex Morgan spreads fast in the spiky-haired-blond-twink community.

    S-M: The Spectacular Mammary-Jane does know that Peter won’t just be taking pictures, that he actually has to fight The Vulture as Spider-Man, right? Right? It’s too bad we already know how this will go.

  39. Mumblix Grumph
    June 6th, 2008 at 9:21 am [Reply]

    Ah, Rex Morgan…yet another search for Mr. Wright goes belly up.

  40. Gabacho
    June 6th, 2008 at 9:24 am [Reply]

    FooB – I never liked this strip and the only reason I read it is that there is so much conversation on it here and I hate not knowing the subject. Having said that…

    This week is exactly right. Illness and incapacity are scary to young people and April is moving between scared and caring, as the best young people do.

    The only characters I actually like in this strip are Iris and April. I love how Iris is subtly teaching April how to deal with her grandfather’s incapacity and how April is responding.

    Okay, I just had to say it.

    Mary Worth – I really loved the idea that Mary did not see getting deeply involved emotionally with another man as any of Jeff’s business. It was so breathtakingly selfish of her, far out pacing anything Margo would have done.

    And now to see that the love is being focused on this snappy turtle with bold political ambitions, it kind of makes the picture complete.

    I see the future “Mary Worth – The Nancy Reagan of Santa Royale.”

  41. WillieO
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:01 am [Reply]

    -It looks like Margo is soon to initiate a series Machiavellian manipulations in order to strategically land a husband in the most efficient manner possible. Blackmail is part of any healthy relationship right?

  42. Justafoob
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:09 am [Reply]

    One final thing before I shut up forever, if Apewill was so giving with her time with gwampaw, she would know how he was, how he acted, what she could expect. She wouldn’t have to wait for Iris to prompt her.

    The way she is acting today it is like she hasn’t seen him in months.

    LJ knows when to play the noble feeb card as well as the noble ‘tard card.

    If it hadn’t been Gwampaw Jim it would have been an incident with Shhh….aaaaa…non….. to show use Ape’s deep and caring persona.

    With that, I leave here.

  43. Propaniac
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:10 am [Reply]

    Seriously, what the hell is the difference between cowboys 1 and 2?

  44. Tracer Bullet
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:14 am [Reply]

    C’shaft: See! It’s funny because . . . Crankshaft isn’t funny at all, is it?

    FOOB: He’s also grinding his surprisingly turgid “wedding equipment” against her thigh, but we won’t mention that.

    FW: See! It’s funny because . . . Damn you, Batiuk.

    GF: “The Big Red Party Member” . . . Let’s move on.

    JP: “Oh, it can still have a happy ending, Elvira. Can you help me with these buttons?” Bok-chikka-wa-wa.

    PBS: This might be the most brilliant thing ever said.

    RMNAMBLA: We know all about your little “talks” with teenage boys, Rex. This kid heard about Niki and he’d prefer to sit comfortably for the rest of his life, thanks.

    S4th: I like to think this will lead to Hillary stage managing her parents’ sex life. “Lift her leg. Higher. Now stroke with two fingers. I said stroke, you oaf. Ugh, just get out of the way and let me do it.”

  45. Shermy Glamrocker
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:18 am [Reply]

    Yes, Mary has eaten at La Rosa before … with Dr. Jeff!

    Who will be there TONIGHT!


    Makes you wonder whose side the cops will be on – respected physician or newly appointed town councilman.

    My bet is the good doc is going to jail tonight (which will actually be three months from now, in real time).

  46. try
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:19 am [Reply]

    @ Propaniac: I seriously stared at those damn cowboys for 10 minutes before I figured it out. The first cowboy’s sideburns go halfway through his ears; the second cowboy’s sideburns stop short right before his ears. How the hell they expect anyone to be that observant is a matter best left untouched; let’s just say that they enjoy being dicks to small children.

  47. Shermy Glamrocker
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:20 am [Reply]

    Much like the time the Foobparental units left out the “sex” book so Apwil would “accidentally” see it and learn about that stuff without an awkward conversation, Elly is frantically searching for her copy of “Dr. Kevorkian’s Mercy Killing for Dummies.”

  48. Flo\'s Rolling Pin
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:26 am [Reply]

    @38 The Spectacular Spider-Brick

    I hate to be too curmudgeonly, but hey, if I can’t do it here…

    That would be “Lo Snarko.” A masculine noun starting with the “impure s” (s followed by another consonant) takes lo instead of il as the definite article—gli if it’s plural.

  49. mojo
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:28 am [Reply]

    Ya know, if you ask any porn shop owner, they’ll tell you that, despite him being totally buff when he’s walking around in his underwear and all, for some reason the Rex Morgan blow-up dolls just don’t sell as well as the female ones.

    At least, that’s what I’m guessing. Truth is, today’s Rex Morgan has turned me off of porn shops and blow-up dolls for life.

  50. One-eyed Wolfdog
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:30 am [Reply]

    #2 has shorter sideburns; they don’t go down past the top of his ears.

  51. McManx
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    MW — I could somehow stand this budding Ron/Mary relationship if I thought it would end up in a nasty eminent domain fight between the Charterstone condo board and the local town council over the location of the new land fill.

    Phantom — Ghost-who-walks is looking for Ghost-who-hides.

    RexMD — If all he wants to do is talk, then why is his face making the international symbol for oral sex.

    SFox — Are those your hats, or are you all just glad to see me…?

  52. gkl
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

    MW: So Santa Royale takes the “Supreme Court” approach to democracy. Curiously appropriate that Mary would choose to live there.

    GA: Scancarelli has taken an abrupt (but welcome) detour from Rufus’s existential quandary to, well, throw shit at him. Good on!

    Pluggers: It’s a good thing Pluggers isn’t a two-panel strip. It would very quickly run out of different ways to say and depict “… but then again, pluggers are stupid.”

  53. Perky Bird
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:44 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: “What?! You were appointed to the Town Council? And no one consulted me first? There will be Hell to pay for this insubordination!

  54. Red Greenback
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:48 am [Reply]

    “La Rosa” is just fancy-schmancy talk for “The Pink”… Have you eaten at the pink before, Mary?

  55. A Lemur
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:49 am [Reply]

    MW: Well, dang, this isn’t working out at all. A story line that held out the rosy promise of arrogance, hubris, self-deception, veiled accusations, infidelity, screaming fights, violence, sex, death and existential despair cascading into oaths of blood vengeance, instead peters out into a walk in the park before dinner. We don’t even get a trip to the Bumboat. Mendacity thy name is Mary Worth. Ron better turn out to be gay and Mary has to put on a frozen faced smile while fishing desperately for a platitude like, “I hear that’s very popular these days.” or, I, as the French say, will tell them “Zoot! Alors and Ptui. I wash my undies of you.”

  56. doofus
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

    Rmmd looks like Jimmy has been talking with Niki.

  57. cheech wizard
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:58 am [Reply]

    FC – Jeffey would prefer to be sitting in the lap of the recently departed Thel? More yearning for death by the Keane children…gawd, this is getting depressing.

    MT – “Why does Kelly still have a job? I thought she was going to marry a ranger? Along with being incompetent, that is.”


    FOOB – Apwil naturally gets panicky as Zombie Jim comes stiffly to life and in the last panel, gnaws through her cranium to feed on her young, pink brains.

  58. smacky
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

    FC: Once again Jeffy alters his size to fit into a given situation. PJ towers over him at this stage!

    And why is Daddy Keane’s chair across the room wedged against the wall?!? Does Jeffy have chronic gas again?

  59. Calico
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:15 am [Reply]

    FOOB – “Iris! Helllp!”
    “It’s ok, April dear, MMmmmmGrandpa is just asking you for a clean Depends®!”

  60. NotThatGuy
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:16 am [Reply]

    Phantom: Did you see how quickly Kit suited up? No? See, that’s what I’m thinking too. The Phantom is naturally turns purple with triangular eyespots when threatened, like an octopus. Explains why the lower half was purple when he first got out of bed, too.

  61. Perky Bird
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:17 am [Reply]

    Of course Mark is surprised that Kelly has a job. I mean, didn’t Kelly know that once a woman marries in the Trailverse, she must drop her independence and spend the rest of her life in a zombie-like state, living only to serve her man? And by “serve”, I don’t mean “have sex with.” We all know that’s reserved strictly for the giant talking animals.

  62. Calico
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:19 am [Reply]

    #45 – Here’s to an AARP version of “Sideways.”

    Ow, now my eyes, glands, and cerebrum feel all funny and twitchy.

  63. Nekrotzar
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:20 am [Reply]

    Mendelssohn’s wedding march, or Wagner’s? Margo seems more the Wagnerian type. Except it’s her men that get immolated.

    Why is it that Mary Worth has reservations at La Rosa, but has no reservations about eating at a place called “Bum Boat”?

  64. Buck Ripsnort
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    FOOB: I was hoping Gwampa was getting his arms into the strangling position– “Maybe this’ll shut the little cretin up!”

    Get Fuxxy (that was a typo, but I kinda like it): Ever get a feeling Darby has a drawer full of brain-stormed puns, and spends his days writing the strip backwards to shoehorn them in? PUNS ALONE DO NOT A COMIC STRIP MAKE! (See, Ed Power gets it.)

    Slylock: All four cowboys just sodomized an indian tribe to death and stole their land.

  65. Al of the Christian Single Jungle Patrol
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:34 am [Reply]

    9CL — strange language aside, Amos is just rubbing it in now…

  66. Bootsy
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:43 am [Reply]

    # 42

    One final thing before I shut up forever…

    Say it ain’t so, Justafoob!

  67. Pinokeyo's Wife
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    Holy redundancy, Batman! “City’s town council?!?!”

    I guess La Rosa is a step up from The Bum Boat.

  68. Bookworm
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:50 am [Reply]

    Phantom – Craig’s sketch on the Late Late Show answered a question some of us may have been asking this week (or not) (and to answer your question after you’ve seen the vid – yes, the Gulf (where they’re staying) has jellyfish – and, no, I don’t know about Bangalla)

    MW – Speaking of the Gulf Coast, not only does “La Rosa” mean “pink,” but there used to be a place down here called The Pink Pony Pub. Now that would be awesome, if new-(hopeicansaythiswithoutgagging)-possible-romantic-interest was using “La Rosa” as slang for some place like that, and not the “nice place” Mary’s thinking of. Of course, compared to The Bum Boat, The Pink Pony might be a nice place.

  69. Jimmy
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    #12 Ham… that’s what I was thinking! Soon, the musty halls of Santa Royale government will be tainted with the lingering scent of Old Lady #9– evidence that more than just a few visible clotheslines have been voted out of existence !

  70. gnome de blog
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:54 am [Reply]

    Let’s see…Mary’s got the red suit from the Lawrence Welk collection, white shirt, floppy tie…Yup, it’s still 1982.

    Still better than Sally Forth’s wardrobe, though.

  71. Paul1963
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    #58 Smacky–Now it can be told! Jeffy’s blossoming ability to change size depending on the situation reveals that Daddy Keane is not, in fact, his father.
    Yes, Jeffy was the result of a passionate weekend Mommy spent with another character who was sometimes observed to change size as needed for a gag to work, or simply to get himself in the frame with another character. And that character was…
    Woody Woodpecker!
    Wait’ll he hits puberty and the topknot and tailfeaters appear.

  72. cheech wizard
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:01 pm [Reply]

    FOOB – A new theory – Gwampa Jim is hoping that, by some slim chance, April is armed and will gun his zombie ass down in self-defense version of “suicide by cop.” He knows the clock is ticking and, if he can’t croak soon, he’s going to be forever entombed in the post-Foobian world, like a fly in amber, as an incontinent, incoherent, inconvenient vegetable.

  73. cheech wizard
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

    68/Bookworm – There’s a bar on Mackinac Island called “The Pink Pony” that is the traditional first stop for boat crews completing the Chicago and Port Huron yacht races. But it’s not pink, and there’s no pony in sight.* Lots of horse shit lying around, though.

    (*Just a repainted rocking horse over the entrance)

  74. Astroboy
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

    Once again, April proves that she’s the only Patterson with a heart, and the ability to see that there are other people outside of her CHOMP SLURP EAT MUNCH SLORP immediate family. I’m really liking April lately. Heck, she even says “AND” instead of “AN’” around Gramps.

    Liz used to be cool like that too. Luckily for Apes, LJ will end the strip before ruining April too. I hope.

  75. Kate
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:20 pm [Reply]

    What the hell is the Phantom’s wife wearing? Yeah, yeah, a pink shirt circa Mary Worth. But below the waist, are those short-shorts, or a tool belt? Or is she wearing a little apron over a restrictive hobble skirt?

    … I think I need some time alone.

  76. Kate
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:23 pm [Reply]

    Also, in Slylock Fox, cowboys #2 and #4 are identical. Cowboy 1 has longer, stronger, bushier sideburns, and cowboy 3 has a turgid had rather than one with a little dimple in the top.

    I hate myself.

  77. gnome de blog
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:29 pm [Reply]

    237 (yesterthread) cheech:
    I like Pibgorn a lot, and not just for the soft-core drawing. However, making stories complicated doesn’t necessarily make them compelling. McEldowney has a tendency to withhold important information until the end, and to introduce gratuitous episodes (like the knight skewering Drusilla with his lance). I get impatient with him because he takes so damned long to get to the verb, and frequently his little digressions don’t do anything to advance the plot. You can maybe do that in a novel, but not in what should be a tightly-constructed narrative, especially since he’s only producing about three paragraphs a week.

    As for Amos and Edda, what you say is true. Further, Edda is really jealous because Amos agreed to a professional relationship with Isabel, who is known to be “after” him. All that prattling on about Hilary Hahn just made her snap. I suppose if you sit down and analyze the story-so-far, it makes sense, and none the worse for having been used thousands of times before. 19-year-olds can act like that. However, I can’t empathize with either of the characters (both of whom I like, in general). If Brooke’s describing a talking horse, I’m looking for the ventriloquist.

  78. theo
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

    GotFuzzy @ 28: Although it isn’t entirely clear, I read this to mean that Seth is talking to Amos through Edda’s phone, which she embedded in her apartment’s ceiling after Amos’ last comment to her…

  79. Muffaroo
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    Gabacho @40 – Yes, indeed. Mary’s resemblance to Nancy Reagan prompted me to speculate recently that the only reason anybody’s interested in her at all is that she must give the best “advice” in “Santa Rosa” (and for “Santa Rosa” read “Hollywood” and for “advice” read “head”).

    FOOB – Many years ago, I drew a future “Rose is Rose” strip where Pasquale’s grown up and visiting his shriveled-up mom in “the home.”

    P – Hey, Mom! It’s me — Pasquale!
    R – Zeevee beeble a gemme!
    P – No Mom, the TV people aren’t gonna get ya!
    (little hearts fill the air)
    R – (beaming) Guh.

    Now it looks like that’s come true, more or less, except in FOOB.

    April – Hi, Gramps! I got an A in music!
    Gramps – (gestures wordlessly)
    Iris – He pointed at his elbow to tell you that he’s really glad you hung in there and studied your homework!
    April – Oh, Gramps! I wuv you!
    Iris – He’s drooling “I love you too, April.” I used to interpret for Terry Schiavo, you know.

  80. Muffaroo
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    H&J – Wait a minute. That car is only four feet long, but the parking space it’s in fits it perfectly! I call “that smelly substance” on this.

    MF – I can actually recognize this is Barack Obama. My kudos to the colorist!

    Marma D – Glad Anderson spelled it out in sound effects (though I must deduct points for not including “wag wag” for the particularly stupid among us). Otherwise, hundreds or thousands of readers would be saying, “But that doesn’t say Nok Nok, it says Whap Whap! I’m hopelessly confused, and I’m never going to read the comics again.

    Mutts – The Beetles gag line is getting pretty thin. Are we going to relive the entire career of the Beatles in real time here?

    Pluggers – Pluggers only watch Turner Classic Movies, and have to pay $100 a month for the entire digital tier, which they never watch. Then they have to sell their TV set.

    RMMD – Poor Rex; still chasing Mr. Wright.

    S-M – “Sooner or later, I’ll find Spider-Man!” Sorry, Vulture, but it’s been years since TV stations signed off for the night.

    Zippy – I’m reminded of the jolly days of 1980, riding around with the windows down, singing “Orphans” by Teenage Jesus and the Jerks, happy as bleeding larks.

  81. gh
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:47 pm [Reply]

    #76 Kate –

    It’s important to remember that, technically, none of them are ever the same, because they have different numbers [SlyFox's First Axiom]. Since I learned and applied this, I have all kinds of time for other pursuits, such as photocopying fish skeletons (I’m making a mobile). SlyFox’s Second Axiom is also a time saver. To wit: There are only four differences. Draw in the other two. Done and done!

  82. bats :[
    June 6th, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

    27. queek, re Brooke storylines: yes, when I read that snippet explaining conflict, I immediately thought that either True Fable or Dingo HAD to run with it. And since I learned what a “peg boy” was, I think it has to be Dingo.

    40. Gabacho, re FOOB: totally agree with you. I’m sure the genuine emotions and human responses won’t last, though…gotta get back to wedding plans, writing plans, eating plans, you know.

    77. gnome: I’ll probably trail Brooke to the end of any strips he does, but I think that most of his best work is in his artistry and how much of a story that can tell without words: Solange’s exploits, “honeymoon hands”, Edda dancing, and the like. Silence is the perfectest herald of joy and all that.

  83. cheech wizard
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

    77/gnome – Brooke definitely has a tendency toward woolgathering, particularly with some of the 9CL episodes, which drag on painfully long. And Pibgorn can be exasperatingly slow. All the same, I think the current story is one of his best – I find myself really looking forward to each day’s episode, curious as to how this thing is going to unfold – which is a mark of a good story.

    All in all, I guess I’d say that Brooke’s foibles deserve snark rather than vitriol – I’d reserve the latter for total hacks like the drunk who draws The Duck.

  84. Groddeck
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:14 pm [Reply]

    I’m feeling like I’m at a 7.5 on the stupidity scale (10 being Rex Morgan), but can someone explain today’s BC to me?

  85. StrangeRover
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    Just a reminder kids: cities don’t have town councils. Towns have town councils. Our city has–as most cities do–a city council.
    …Oh, and by the way, who is that douchebag anyway?

  86. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:17 pm [Reply]

  87. Old School Allie Cat
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:19 pm [Reply]

    A3G – Ok, so we all know Margo’s ready to be a bride…the question is, why?

    Is it so that she’ll always have someone to harangue on New Year’s Eve, or is she afraid that her ovaries will wither and dry up before she has the chance to spawn margokinder?

    Either way, I’m not feeling it.

  88. StrangeRover
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

    #84 Groddeck:

    B.C. = Before Comedy. The wheel – and dictionaries – were invented, but they’re still at least 3,000 years away from having comedy.

    I think the “gag” has something to do with lead paint in toys from China and…. oh screw it!

  89. essteess
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    >9CL — strange language aside, Amos is just rubbing it in now…

    I think both Amos and Edda are likely to be doing some rubbing, if you kno

  90. TheCasey
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:21 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth – I think it’s obvious that La Rosa and the Bum Boat share a building. Dr. Jeff’s probably eating alone in the back at the Bum Boat. It’s just too bad the Shocker isn’t around, just to make this setup more obvious.

  91. Calico
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:22 pm [Reply]

    SlyFox – Cowboy number three isn’t wearing any undies.

  92. Calico
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    #70 – I expect to see lots and lots of soap bubbles floating around any minute now.

  93. Groddeck
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:29 pm [Reply]

    88. StrangeRover – Thanks for the help. That gag (to be generous) is both late to the game and flimsy. I feel both better and worse at the same time.

  94. doofus
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

    Phantom: how much you want to bet the guy with the wrench helps them fix the plane

  95. Baka Gaijin
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:42 pm [Reply]

    Rex Morgan: Victim of another drive-by prostate exam?

  96. bartcow
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    I usually leave the analysis to Josh and the commenters, but I have to say something about today’s Hagar:

    Either Hagar has developed telepathy (through witchcraft, no doubt), or his thoughts only appear to us to answer his wife’s, when in reality he really has to keep reminding himself to breathe.

  97. mollificent
    June 6th, 2008 at 1:46 pm [Reply]

    Hmmmm…Mary Worth = Evita Peron?

    “All we have to do is sit and wait,
    Keeping out of everybody’s way;
    We’ll…er, you’ll…be handed power on a plate
    When the ones who matter have their say…

    (…and I’d be surprisingly good for you…)”

    You can always count on mollificent to pull a random musical theatre quote out of her ass. :)

  98. doofus
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    Pluggers love “Birth of a Nation”.

  99. Saxman
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

    I think I’m on to something big here. Really really big. If “they” get me before I send my expose to “Rolling Stone,” you need to get the truth out. Somehow.

  100. Poteet
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

    MW — “Our city’s town council.” At first reading, that phrasing is totally bizarre. But I have a theory. Suppose the real city council created a fake “town council” specifically to accommodate those individuals who show up at every council meeting obsessed with one particular issue and will never ever shut up about it? (In my part of Iowa, there’s one guy who keeps bringing bags of gravel to meetings because he’s pissed off that he’s not allowed to mine his land, and a woman who shows up and makes death threats against city staff because she can’t keep her miniature horse in town.) Suppose Ron has been appointed to this fake council because he’s regarded as a crank? Never mind…if that were the case, Mary would be on the “town council” already.

  101. Dr. Weird
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

    #84 Groddeck: Everything that comes from China has lead! Protectionism now! Seal the borders and hide under the bed! You can’t always expect a joke from BC, but a screed is always a likely bet.

    On a related note, I was amused by Luann today, with Toni speaking of “adult” matters such as global trade to send Emily the Strange out of the room.

  102. Dingo
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:38 pm [Reply]

    Queek and bats: if I still possessed the ability to blush, I’d clutch my hand to my chest and do so. Hand clutch, not Ted’s fan display.

  103. Astroboy
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    OK, I slam FOOBs as much as anyone and for good reason, but c’mon. I mean this is really disappointing to see people making fun of the last few days strips which have been very good. I give LJ a LOT of crap, but I’m willing to give credit where it’s due.

    All of you making fun of sick elderly people are not funny. There’s no snark to be found there, just admit it. My own grandfather was like that before he died and I do not see the humor in so many of you making fun of this.

    Are many of you so blinded by fury at LJ that it comes to this?

    (shakes head, scratches at the dirt with toe of sneaker, walks sadly away…)

  104. bats :[
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Well, it ain’t the New Yorker Caption Contest and it certainly ain’t COTW, but I think it’s a step up from Coffee Stalk (unless you win the monthly mug o’ glurge): I made it onto Cute Overload (woo! look for the monkeys in the ice cream cones!).
    Sad, when you think about it

    84. groddeck: I like the idea of a Stupidity Scale with Rex Morgan pegged at 10. Any thoughts for other standards on the scale?

  105. John Steed, Professional
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    Lighten up, Francis…

  106. ihateaphids
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:50 pm [Reply]

    no no! it’s 1 & 4 who are on meth!

  107. Bootsy
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    # 68, Bookworm. The Pink Pony Pub was in Orange Beach, Ala and was at one time owned by Ken Stabler, former NFL quarterback. I don’t know if it’s still even there now.

    Did I miss someone speculating on if the Gulf of Mexico has jellyfish? It does, and I hate those little bastards.

  108. Islamorada Girl
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:54 pm [Reply]

    Well, I for one, cannot wait to see Mary Worth slimed, slimed I tell you, by local politics! Such lesse-majeste we will see!

  109. gnome de blog
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:55 pm [Reply]

    83, cheech:
    Brooke’s a pretentious twit who needs to tighten up his stories, but he still does some of the best and most enjoyable work out there. As you say, snarkworthy but not vitriolworthy.

    Except for Thorax. If anyone ever needed to be meddled by Mary Worth…I take it back. Thorax needs a visit by Elmer Vargas’ locker room pals, then he needs a meddlin’.

  110. gnome de blog
    June 6th, 2008 at 2:57 pm [Reply]

    106, I-Girl:
    She’s already dressed for a kangaroo court in Munchkinland.

  111. Groddeck
    June 6th, 2008 at 3:05 pm [Reply]

    #99. Dr. Weird – Actually I forgot about Luann (of Apt. 3G). If we keep Rex at 10 we might have to raise the scale to 20 to fit her in. After all, Rex can at least spell M.D.

  112. indrifan
    June 6th, 2008 at 3:36 pm [Reply]

    18 EPWoMC,

    I’m planning to be at the MoCCA fest tomorrow (Sat). Are you going to be there? I thought about trying to set up a Mudge Meetup in the fora but never got around to it. Maybe I should check to see if someone else has.

    Josh, I remember you attended last year – will you be there this year? I’m trying to decide who to honor/flatter by wearing their t-shirt. It will probably be the “good scissors” shirt.

    Even less comics snark than usual: I haven’t had a chance to read Thursday’s comics yet, much less today’s.

  113. Violet
    June 6th, 2008 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

    I think Margo set the Wedding March to play when Tommie calls, with the dual purpose of cruelly mocking the hapless redhead and reassuring herself that she is not actually the MOST pathetic person in the universe.

  114. AhClem
    June 6th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

    MW – If this plot line is as exciting as other recent ones (Mary finds a dog and returns it, for example), Mary and blue-suit guy will have dinner at La Rosa, making small talk over a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. He will then walk her back home by 8:30, shake her hand goodnight, and she will crawl into her bathrobe and plop down onto the hideous goldenrod sofa to watch reruns of “Hogan’s Heroes.”

  115. dale
    June 6th, 2008 at 3:58 pm [Reply]

    Beetle Bailey

    Did you hear the one about the farmer with the cross-eyed bull?

  116. GotFuzzy
    June 6th, 2008 at 3:59 pm [Reply]

    theo, thanks for the explanation of 9CL. It would have been funnier if Seth had reached up and caught the thrown handset and just assumed it was Amos that provoked such an outburst, and would have better demonstrated Edda’s javelin skillz.

  117. Wolf Shepherd
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

    AS – Dolphins aren’t endangered… not even close. And if this one dolphin suffers from suicidal stupidy, don’t worry. That trait will be eliminated from the gene pool by natural selection.

    BC – No joke here, folks. Move along.

    A3G – The author’s grasp of business and microeconomics (aka suply and demand) is mind boggling. Oh.. cross over with MF.

    SF – No problem! That’s what abortions are for, right? If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

  118. Perky Bird
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:07 pm [Reply]

    If “La Rosa” turns out to be a Mexican restaurant, I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle reading all the inevitable snarks about Mary “eating taco”…

  119. Little Guy
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:12 pm [Reply]

    RMMD: All that last panel needs is incidental theremin music and we have a Dr Strange crossover.

    And yes, Ed Power, Melissa is cuter than Christian Single Girl could ever be.

  120. Paul1963
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:25 pm [Reply]

    #87 Old School Allie Cat–Sadly, sperm shriek and kill themselves at the thought of entering Margo’s uterus and the horrible, naked, ringless egg that awaits them.
    The hardier ones actually refuse to leave their host, clinging to whatever they can, preferring the relatively-merciful death by post-coital urination to the horrors that lie Over There.

  121. Girl Reporter
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:38 pm [Reply]

    MW: First the Charterstone condo board, tomorrow our city’s town council. Watch out, Poland. You’re next.

  122. gnome de blog
    June 6th, 2008 at 4:52 pm [Reply]

    Note to all town council snarkers:

    Mid-term vacancies due to resignation, death, getting convicted, etc. on many governing bodies are often filled by appointment. The appointee generally serves until the next regular election.

    Ginning up a special elections can be spendy. A lot of especially smaller municipalities simply can’t afford it.

  123. Plasma
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:00 pm [Reply]

    15 kippetje2000: I had a band teacher once who claimed they were exactly the same thing. He played one with a happy expression and one with a sad expression and claimed that was the only difference. Having no ear for music whatsoever, I had no way of telling whether he was lying.

  124. gnome de blog
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

    I would like to personally invite Margo to head up the great peacock round-up at the Portland Zoo. Seems that zoo officials, after decades of letting the peacocks wander freely about the grounds, have decided they’re a menace to visitors. Rounding them up, they say, may take several months as they frequently fly off into the surrounding woods. I’ll betcha Margo could have those bad boys in cages in no time.

  125. Cafangdra
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    Weaselboy @ #26 for CotW.

  126. Hawkeye
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:25 pm [Reply]

    MW: Sadly, Ron’s budding political career will come to an end after being photographed with Jeff at the Bum Boat. “We were fighting over a woman!” he argued futilely.

  127. gkl
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    MW #120: Well, yeah, but do you really believe things are that innocent when Mary Worth is involved?

  128. KH
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:27 pm [Reply]

    MW: Duh, Ron, of course Mary has been to “La Rosa” before. It’s where you held the damn funeral.

    #98 Poteet: my large city does have these sub “town councils” which exist for exactly the puposes you describe, with exactly the same people. And real estate agents, which are found at any public gathering, just like fleas at the dog park or crabs at the Charterstone.

  129. cheech wizard
    June 6th, 2008 at 5:52 pm [Reply]

    107/gnome – I’d agree with that. I enjoy his work, but he’s way down on my list of “three people you’d like to have dinner with.”

  130. Islamorada Girl
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

    KH: Don’t forget the condo commandos. Along with the real estate people and the merchants, they’re thick as june bugs at any kind of muncipal meeting. I guess Mary will be the Chatterstone condo commando. She’s the type to leave post-it notes on people’s doors about vistors overstaying their parking lot times and correctly bagging the trash in the color- coordinated bags deemed mandatory by the condo board.

  131. cheech wizard
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

    RMMD – Why is Jimmy fleeing? Did Nikki get to him before Rex did? Or was he compelled to go into the risky but lucrative junked wrestling mat business after all his chickens died?

    JP – Elvira is begging Abbey to buy their place because she knows the house and barn are built on an Indian graveyard – let’s see how the nosy twit likes it when the poltergeists infest her boobs and have them start doing the mambo. Sam will probably think it’s pretty cool, though.

  132. Orange Doorhinge
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:11 pm [Reply]

    #60 NotThatGuy: EXcellent! Very good indeed! in other words, Ha! Ha! Ha!

  133. Orange Doorhinge
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:21 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: Grandpa is feeling April up for cigarettes or drugs- the nursing home keeps him short.

    A3G: UH-oh! Alan’s gonna geeeet it! I can’t wait till Margo finds the petty cash missing- (alas, it’ll probably take several weeks). What WILL Alan’s excuse/explanation be? Or will Luanne heroically throw herself upon Margo’s mercy, claiming *she* took the cash?

    By the way, since Alan is apparently spending the evenings smoking dope, is any work getting done there at all? Or does he perhaps have his dopy pal do it? As I recall from Luann’s exhibit opening, his (salaried!) job is sweeping the floor.

  134. Jamus The Bartender
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:24 pm [Reply]

    25. Oh dear Lord….please let it not be Ashley T Bengal or Maureen Fox or her kid. Please, please, please…
    Whoa…Rex and Violet are getting married? Now THERE’s a story…

  135. Orange Doorhinge
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

    Margo is in love with a very very RICH man; naturally she wants to marry him! But what tune will her Blackberry have when the man turns up wearing an orange robe, with his head shaven and explains he’s given his fortune to the Tibetian Freedom Fund?

  136. Champ
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:29 pm [Reply]

    That kid is fleeing Rex because word finally has gotten out among local teenage boys that the good doctor is a raging pedophile.

  137. Jamus The Bartender
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    9CL: Wow. I maybe understood half of what Amos said, but for the half I understood, I think Amos is my new hero.
    FOOB: No…April, Jim and Iris are my new heroes.
    My Cage: Osama Bin Llama. Yow. ” And If I laugh at any mortal thing, it is so I may not weep.” Amen, Lord Byron, amen.

  138. Sorako-chan
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:43 pm [Reply]

    In it’s crusade to forever scar the minds of America’s youth, Slylock Fox has moved from fear and predation onto just plain ol’ fashioned disturbing. Man, Casandra needs to come back, fast, cuz this strip needs some sexy feline bad.

  139. Dingo
    June 6th, 2008 at 6:49 pm [Reply]

    To update a previous post, I will not be in Laramie, WY on June 25; I’ll be in Cheyenne. Anyone in the area?

  140. Jamus The Bartender
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

    138. Your wish is my command…
    The Cat And The Curmudgeon
    A Star Is Born
    After a hard night’s serving drinks and trying to keep Dick Tracy out of his various pools of….things, I came home to my apartment, taking note of the expensive perfume.
    “Hi, baby.” Cassandra said, hopping over the sofa to kiss me. “I made some dinner, ” she said, handing me a box of General Tso’s chicken and rice.
    Grinning, I said, “Thanks. Old family recipe?”
    “Very funny, ” she said as she turned on the television, and polished off her crystal ball, her latest little scam.
    “How’s the palm-reading going?”
    She exhaled an explosive breath and replied ” Shitty. I’ve only had three customers, one of them was Slylock and Max because they felt sorry for me…..”
    I quietly picked up my checkbook…
    “How much you need?”
    “Oh my God…Jamus, no….”
    ” It’s just a loan…”
    “Baby, no, you really don’t have to…”
    As we were discussing the state of the treasury, a commercial for Chef Meowrice catfood came on. Cass winced as it came on…
    “That stuff tastes like shit.”
    I replied, ” That Dolly Purrton has a nice rack though…”
    As Cassandra hit me repeatedly with a pillow while unzipping my fly, a notice for a contest to be in the next commercial was aired…” All you have to do is send in a postcard with your cat’s name and the name of the owner…”
    “JAMUS!! Be my owner. ”
    ” Whoa….wait, you wanna be on TV? Aren’t you wanted for larceny and fraud in twelve states?”
    ” I’ll dye my fur again. Please, Jamus, please, please, pleeeeeaseeee…”
    Well, it was better than having my furniture liquidated…
    ” Okay, but no nose candy.”
    She showed me her NA badge. ” Thirty days clean.”
    To Be Continued….

  141. Dingo
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:22 pm [Reply]

    Hey, Jamus, I still have the two-night stay I won for Wisconsin Dells and my BF can’t go with me because it’s only good for Monday – Thursday and he’s working now. Care to go to a water park for free with me?

  142. Emily
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:28 pm [Reply]

    Okay, I’m actually very very concerned about a Shakespearean A3G misunderstanding wherein Margo warms to the personality of the emotionally healthy, commitment-capable Mr. Flattop, whose warm advances in contrast are due only to his previously established interest in LuAnne. Lois. Whatever her name is.
    Speaking of which, wasn’t Tommie ALSO recently caught between the advances of a conspicuously dashing suitor and one whose less flashy exterior concealed the true heart of a man? How did that ever turn out? I CARE, dammit! I do!

    Also Mr. Flattop reminds me of my boyfriend, if my boyfriend were ever transported to the seventies by a time machine that didn’t work on clothing, forcing him to raid the nearest tuxedo rental parlor for decency. So I feel bad for Margo’s imminent heartbreak/hubris correction.

  143. Jamus The Bartender
    June 6th, 2008 at 7:30 pm [Reply]

    Maybe. It’d have to be Monday or Tuesday because I work the weekends. Let me get back to you on that one.

  144. Patrick, Interlibrary Loan Lending Division
    June 6th, 2008 at 8:02 pm [Reply]

    # 103 Astroboy: As much as I utterly despise and detest FOOB, I have to agree with you. I find nothing snark worthy in trashing people in their waning moments. To be a once vital person reduced to a barely functioning husk of who you once were is something that cuts too close to home when I think of my grandparents final days.

    I have to give LJ this much. Even she gets it.

  145. Squid Countess
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:24 pm [Reply]

    9CL – Amos is a total waste of skin, cotton/polyester blends and optical-quality glass.

  146. John
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Why does a city have a “town council”?

  147. John
    June 6th, 2008 at 10:33 pm [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Why does a city have a “town council”?

  148. Poteet
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:38 pm [Reply]

    # 128 KH — Wow. Does that system work? If so, I’m going to share the idea here!

  149. Poteet
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:42 pm [Reply]

    SLYLOCK — My first thought was that the cowboys looked as if they’d each just consumed about a pound of Dove milk chocolate. After reading the CC interpretations of their expressions, I needed some Dove myself.

  150. AhClem
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

    #122 gnome de blog
    Mid-term vacancies due to resignation, death, getting convicted, etc. on many governing bodies are often filled by appointment. The appointee generally serves until the next regular election.”

    That’s it. Ron was appointed to fill out the remainder of the term vacated by the late Councilman Kelrast.

  151. Oddball Cargo
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:52 pm [Reply]

    103 Astroboy : I’m with you, dollface. Even though the Foobs are just characters in a comic strip, I find some of the comments about Grampa Jim rather distasteful. But it happens like that, with anonymous snarkage.

  152. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 6th, 2008 at 11:53 pm [Reply]

    Laaaaate Friday comments from Yours Truly

    RMMD: The teenage stockboy instantly bolts in terror? Seems the good doctor has developed a reputation.

    MW: “I’ve been appointed to our city’s town council” sounds nothing like human dialogue. This is also an opportune time to point out the fact that in color comics, you so often see men in blue suits and women in pink/mauve getups. It’s like the coloring monkeys assume everyone sticks with the same color scheme they wore when they were six months old.

    S-M: Will this be the Vulture’s “some enchanted evening”? Once you have found him, never let him go.

    Ziggy: Hell, that could be any night’s newscast.

    S4th: “Hey, I don’t care about the plumbing. If she doesn’t have a penis, raise her real butch anyway. That’s all I’m sayin’.”

    PBS: I’ve been waiting for these two to drop all the pretense and just do it.

    GT: Thanks for the speech on the rule of law. Where does drafting an alcoholic DJ to impersonate your dad fit into this?

    Luann: Shannon had better leave soon, or else all these polysyllables will put Brad into a confused slumber.

    DtM: Uh, yeah, very menacing attitude you got there.

    Big Dog: Oh, he’ll be wagging another appendage soon enough.

    Lockhorns: Um, Loretta, what manner of toys are you talking about?

    FOOB: It was fairly touching today, but when Jim stood up, I still cracked myself up by fantasizing that he was about to yell “Brains!”

    JP: This could be leading to a new, truly exciting storyline: Abbey Grows Her Own.

    Momma: Good thing. What does Francis know about Dwarven medicine?

    Garfield: Or maybe he’s just disturbed by the comics snarkers beyond the fourth wall.

    FC: The start of a beautiful Oedipus complex.

    C-Shaft: Just a couple of years ago, Bernie Kerik was poised to become head of Homeland Security. Now he’s ferrying around grumpy old morons in a cab. Life is funny.

  153. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:10 am [Reply]

    You made me laugh. Then you made me picture Mary feasting fancily on Toeby. Damn you, Red Greenback!

  154. bats :[
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:22 am [Reply]

    Ack! A houseful of guests for the weekend, so the snark is minimal, nay, even non-existent!

    Friday Foob: I have a Bad Feeling(tm) that Grandpa Jim is going to pass away while April is playing the guitar for him. I guess there are worse options.

  155. Zoroaster
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:30 am [Reply]

    Call me a humorless stickler, but mescaline is the active ingredient in Peyote. So in your example there are two sets of cowboys tweaking in identical ways which, I’m guessing, was not your intention.

  156. commodorejohn
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:32 am [Reply]

    See, this is what I hate about vacations; they throw my posting schedule off drastically. Well, here’s my two cents anyway:

    Baldo – “This new video game system?” What is this, Herb & Jamaal? Proper nouns, man, proper nouns! That said, you’ve gotta admire the detail in panel three.

    Curtis – I’m trying to figure out what to make of the meta-subtext in this. My brain hurts.

    FC – What do you mean by “even in today’s economy,” Daddy Keane? Does this look like the Great Depression to you? Are you suggesting that it’s wrong for some people to be wealthy when other people don’t have enough? Are you goin’ Commie on us, you dirty Red bastard? The comic champions of communism have selected this as the time, and ladies and gentlemen, the chips are down – they are truly down.

    FOOB – Either April’s picked up since “Everyone Is Different,” or the people who award marks for performance and composition need to be fired. Or, I suppose, it could be that she actually has been writing good stuff, and Lynn, like the Monkees’ corporate overlords, has been holding her back from performing her own material. That would make sense.

    FB – I got a good chuckle out of Fred Basset today.

    FW – “But what if we haven’t had our periods yet?”

    JP – So the end result of this interminable storyline is that Sam and Abbey will own an even larger portion of the surrounding area? Lord, how long before they run the state?

    Luann – “Talk?” Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    MT – Oh, I do so look forward to the Kelly/Cherry hijinks.

    MW – Look at that prune, Mary, and look at the comparatively baby-faced Dr. Jeff. Is power the ultimate aphrodisiac?

    Pluggers – Pluggers have absurdly specific taste in movies. On the bright side, this alleviates my worrying yesterday, since the best movie ever made is The War Of The Worlds, which was made after 1950, is in color, and was made by Paramount. Thank God in Heaven, I’m not a Plugger.

    RMMD – Ah, Rex’s reputation precedes him.

    SF – Hillary further cements her position as one of my favorite comic characters.


  157. ChattyGenes
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:35 am [Reply]

    #154 bats :[. Um…let’s hope so.

    I do NOT say this in a mean-spirited way. I think it would be a lovely way for him to die, and I wish Johnston WOULD let him die.

    Frankly, she’d earn some brownie points back from me if she would please let this happen.

  158. Oddball Cargo
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:38 am [Reply]

    I’m almost positive that the fact that it’s Seniors’ Month means that Lynn will now kill Grandpa Jim. It seems hamfisted, and ‘Hamfist’ is actually Lynn’s middle name.

  159. BakNBlack
    June 7th, 2008 at 1:22 am [Reply]

    Ha, look, a meth joke. I haven’t read one of these on this site in nearly a month!

  160. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:04 am [Reply]

    FOOB: Okay, Grampa, Everybody Wants to Rule the World! Um, how about You Belong to the City? No? You don’t know that? Neutron Dance! Like a Virgin! Uh, Sussudio… Sugar Walls? Private Dancer! I just can’t fight this feeling anymo-o-o-re….I’ve forgotten what I started fighting fo-o-o-or…

  161. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:07 am [Reply]

    I personally hope that Apes brought a bass guitar and she tears into a really hairy John Entwhistle riff. That’s good for what ails ya!

  162. KH
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:13 am [Reply]

    #148: Actually, to some degree it does. They serve as boosters, and they get to weigh in with the real city council on important issues like banning liquor at the beach, or as we like to call it, the neutral container beverage act. They get to meet and feel important. Every so often the “towns” get a wild hair about incorporating, but it usually doens’t last.

    However, I’d submit that my city is not exactly the government model other cities would want to follow…

    But hey. We are the home of Non Sequitur, Luann and Comic-Con!!

  163. True Fable
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:22 am [Reply]

    BB Z-zzing!
    FC Chances are he’s parked while looking at that map, but I would not put anything past the father of those four. Desperation does strange things to a man.
    FBoFW Three days in a row of some pretty good storytelling, actually, up until when Lynn just HAD to get in a last-panel “gee these clueless teens of today!” laff-fest today. No telling what Monday will be but I really don’t see Lynn Johnston able to hold out much longer before she starts punning and Muppet-mouthing again. It’s been a nice three days though.
    See, I can be nice… when there’s a reason for it.
    FW Good Lord, kid; THINK. This is Funky Winkerbean; Les could come down with cancer by fall, and go to the same doctor that fucked up his late wife’s tests.
    Scenes from Suburban Hell Next time just take a baseball bat to his impudent ass, Lois.
    JP OH SHIT OH SHIT! Abbey! What sort of flesh-eating disease got hold of your face in the last panel?!?
    Luann Oooh go for it kids! Hey Toni, if you play it right and the brat comes back in on the two of you, you’ll never get stuck with babysitting her noxious little self ever again. This could work in your favor, big time.
    MT Well then why the hell did you ask, Cherry? Or, you could just turn her over to Mark and let him handle her. He might like her handles.
    Marmadick What, so the dog can turn on the water faucet now? Because how else is… oh, never mind, I really don’t care. It’s Marmadick, after all.
    MW Mary is ready to be Town Biddy, and Ron is her ticket to it.
    PBS I laughed so hard at this I nearly hurt myself.
    Phantom Why the hell didn’t he fix the fuel line first thing, instead of fishing? She could have fished while he fixed the fuel line…oh never mind, I really don’t care. It’s the Phantom, after all.
    RMMD Now in VistaVision!
    S-M Oh never mind, I really don’t care. It’s Spider-Man, after all. I may as well put this every day for this strip.
    Zits Maybe she should put the ‘shun’ in ‘Vacation’. shun the non-believer!! Shuuunn!!!

  164. Artist formerly known as Ben
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:52 am [Reply]


    H&L: I have to admit to liking Hi’s bedraggled expression in the last panel. This is a situation where his “worn down by life” thing is kind of funny.

    A3G: Toni Daytona makes house calls? In Tibet? What the–

    SFx: Might work if the dog likes his steak burnt to a crisp.

    MW: ” So Jeff, do you have an enemies list? Every politician needs one, and I could give you a starter.”

    Popeye: Panel three is kind of Robert Crumb-ish. Would be more so if Olive had an ass.

    Lockhorns: If only there were some way to show that Loretta talks on the phone a lot. Maybe put some kind of prop in her hand. But what?

    PBS: I was joking about this after seeing yesterday’s but… Hee. Pastis went there, and he made it funnier.

    FW: Can we assume that “winning the lottery” is a euphemism for suicide?

  165. Mibbitmaker
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:03 am [Reply]


    A3G: Eric may be losing Margo to one of the old EC guys…

    BBailey: That wouldn’t stop Leroy Lockhorn.

    Curtis: No, it isn’t. Unless that’s just “kid” for “something smart”. Then, there are a couple…

    DtM: Babysitter refuses to ever sit for Dennis again because of all the bad, insubordinate, wiseass, troublemaking things that he’s… not… doing………!

    DT: Those crooks don’t know how pissed off Dickie can be, they don’t understand the consequences. Hey, Pugface… funny you should say “execute”…

    FOOB: Screw you, April!! (…I’m 46, why do you ask…?)

    GT: Yeah, good luck with that — it’ll just get obliterated by a bunch of people shouting “Amnesty!” and “Sovereignty” all the time. Just ask Bush, Kennedy & McCain!

    JP: …Allstate?

    MT: Yeah, well that squirrel isn’t so sure about that.

    PBS: Rat is multiplying. Oh my!

    RMMD: Right–Right behind you, Doc! Um…wait….. Hey! Rex! Stay inside the strip! You’re making the visual continuity go all higglety-pigglety! (Actors!)

    Today’s Mallard Fillmore of the Left IS….. (open envelope)……… Zippy the Pinhead!! [crickets]

    Cranky: When that joke was invented, Ed here was 5 months old.

    H&L: “Yeah, it’s a comic strip. So what of it?”

  166. Eridani
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:04 am [Reply]

    Um, isn’t peyote and mescaline the same thing, since peyote’s main psychoactive subtance is mescaline?

  167. Jana C.H.
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:11 am [Reply]

    There is another reason for Margo to love the Wedding March: “Lohengrin”, from which it is derived, is her favorite opera because she identifies so strongly with the character of Ortrud. Here’s what Miss Elizabeth M. Wheelock, authoress of a 1907 book of Wagner operas for children, says about her:

    “You see, Ortrud, the daughter of the heathen prince Radbod, came one day to Frederick of Telramund, saying that she had sad and sorrowful news to tell him. Sitting one day in her tall tower she had seen Elsa, Duchess of Brabant [a sort of medieval Lu Ann], murder her brother Godfrey in the forest and push his body into the river. She never had seen anything of the sort, you know; she was just making it up. She was a very wicked woman who wanted Elsa out of the way that she herself might marry Frederick.”

    I don’t think I need to tell anyone who really got rid of Godfrey. No, Ortrud didn’t do anything as crass as murdering him; she merely used her evil heathen witchcraft to transform him into a swan. I suspect Eric is paddling around a pond somewhere, preening his feathers.

    Jana C.H.
    Saith Georges Bizet: As a musician I tell you that if you were to suppress adultery, fanaticism, crime, evil, the supernatural, there would no longer be the means for writing one note.

  168. mollificent
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:12 am [Reply]

    JP: Please pardon my French (I’ve been reading Stephen King), but what the bloody FUCK is eating Abbey’s face in the last panel? Is it the oil slick from “Skin of Evil”?

  169. Crooked Soricidae
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:12 am [Reply]

    Luann- Go Brad Go!!!

  170. mollificent
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:13 am [Reply]

    oops, Fable beat me to it. That’s what I get for posting before I finish reading the thread. :)

  171. True Fable
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:33 am [Reply]

    # 170 mollificent – no darlin’, you go right ahead on! That last panel is just downright Creepy-looking, and I for one would like to know just what the hell’s going on, so the more inquiring minds on it, the better.

    1) Skin of Evil
    2) Flesh-eating disease
    3) Vengeful roaming ink-squirting Squid delinquents

    I mean my God, this could be serious!

  172. Mr. O'Malley
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:37 am [Reply]

    98. Doofus. Pluggers wouldn’t like Birth of a Nation since it would be distributed by United Artists and parts of it are tinted in color.

    Pluggers’ favorites: Mrs. Miniver, and anything featuring Nelson Eddy & Jeanette MacDonald, or Mickey Rooney & Judy Garland.

    Today’s Pluggers I don’t think this one has a numerical code (wish those could be kept somewhere handy for reference) but is: Pluggers patronize megacorporations in preference to locally owned businesses.

    117. Wolf Shepherd. Some species of dolphins are endangered, such as the Chinese white dolphin. See also here and here.

    113. Orange Doorhinge. Depending on what drug Alan is using, he may have spent the entire week sweeping the floor VERY thoroughly. Like the barber in Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow who gave fantastic haircuts over the course of several days—one hair at a time.

    FOOB: I have a family member who gets around using a walker, and I don’t think it’s such a pitiful thing. In fact, in that case, it’s an indication of a successful outcome of physical therapy. (What happened to the walker plotline in Crankshaft a while back?) I don’t like playing infirmity for pity.

    I have a friend who plays music in a hospital for seriously ill patients, some of whom don’t make it. There’s a training program for doing this. You want the patients to keep their dignity whatever problems they are facing.

    These strips don’t ring true with me. It’s as though the idea is there somewhere but there’s no experience backing it up.

    I know we have some healthcare workers among us. Perhaps if some have experience working with seriously ill patients they might contribute to the discussion.

  173. Mr. O'Malley
    June 7th, 2008 at 4:09 am [Reply]

    Perhaps some might be interested:

    Garkov. Probabilistic model of Garfield?

  174. ChattyGenes
    June 7th, 2008 at 4:20 am [Reply]

    #167 Jana C.H.

    Your last quote by Bizet reminded me of this:

    All the Great Operas in Ten Minutes. Hilarious, and well worth watching! If you haven’t already seen it, I mean. And even if you have:-)

  175. ohyes
    June 7th, 2008 at 8:47 am [Reply]

    MW: So, is “this may be a brief respite” the stuffy way of saying, “nooner” or “quickie” ?

  176. minor flood
    June 7th, 2008 at 9:19 am [Reply]

    “Return the map! It will bring you great danger! Stop! Now!”

  177. AeroSquid
    June 7th, 2008 at 9:20 am [Reply]

    Foob: “Grandpa ? I’m gonna play ‘Safety Dance’ and ‘Shock the Monkey’ now. Unplugged. Remember those videos ?”

  178. AeroSquid
    June 7th, 2008 at 9:23 am [Reply]

    Foob: “I think your grandfather would rather hear golden oldies like: ‘Warpigs’ or ‘American Woman’.”

  179. teenchy
    June 7th, 2008 at 9:58 am [Reply]

    7 June PBS: Why do I hear George Takei’s voice when I read the last panel?

  180. teenchy
    June 7th, 2008 at 10:03 am [Reply]

    # 177: Even better auf Deutsch.

  181. JohnnyB
    June 7th, 2008 at 10:08 am [Reply]

    Jack: Oops, there goes my phone!
    Margo: Do I hear Talking Heads’ “Psycho Killer”?

  182. Lolsworth
    June 7th, 2008 at 10:15 am [Reply]

    FC has Daddy Keane re-enacting the first scene of Walkabout today. Nice to see the comics acknowledging classic cinema.

  183. John C Fremont
    June 7th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

    “Well your freinds with their fancy persuasions
    Can’t admit that it’s part of the scene
    But I can’t help but have my suspicions
    ‘Cause I ain’t quite as dumb as I seem.” – Take it, Crankshaft!

    “How long has this been goin’ on?”

    (Crankshaft’s an Ace fan, is what I’m saying.)

    Foob – “An oldie, eh? Okay, here’s a little number from 1974 by Ace…”

    MT – Mark is clearly looking at that squirrel while saying, “I think you can!” And I’m sure that the squirrel is so happy that he has Mark Trail’s faith in his ability to scramble around in trees and gather nuts. As a squirrel, I’m sure that means so much to him. You can tell by the look of suspicion in his angry, angry eyes.

    Phantom – “It’s the plumber. I’ve come to fix the sink.”

    RMMD – June’s hand gesture in panel 1. “Hey! Atsa matta you, huh?!” Maybe she just had lunch at La Rosa and got caught up in the atmosphere.

    There. Nothing really funny in a laugh-out-loud sort of way. Just some of my patented “mildy amusing” comments. I still have my Arnold Stang-like reputation to uphold.

  184. Jnoble
    June 7th, 2008 at 11:09 am [Reply]

    Luann: Holy Jesus Palamino, didn’t it take Brad like literally 7 or so years to FINALLY hook up with that girl??
    Any bets that she’ll suddenly find a reason to skip out on him, perhaps her thug Trans Am driving ex-BF shows up or she’s boning Gunther on the side

  185. gleeb
    June 7th, 2008 at 11:39 am [Reply]

    Lio: You’re saying the folks who enjoy your strip are all freaks and monsters? I’m not denying it; I just want to be sure we’re on the same wavelength.

    Arlo & Janis: OK, I’m missing something. Why does the cat cleaning itself cause Arlo to start quoting Lincoln?

  186. odinthor
    June 7th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

    RMMD — Tsk. You’d think that Rex of all people would understand about the demands of explosive diarrhea.

    Phantom — Alert! Code Orange! “manly tool” symbols approaching critical mass in this strip! Take appropriate action!

    SaF — Right on schedule, just as predicted: Onset of angst. Best to make that appointment at Analysts-R-Us right away, Hil. No, I will not make a cheap political joke. No, I won’t. No. Stop it. No, I won’t. Timely as it might be.

    PBS — Hm. Does it say something about the development of our Society that I had to put myself into a pre-1990s state of mind to get into the joke? No? OK, just checking.

    Baldo — Actually, the middle panel is a pretty good depiction of 90% of a college student’s life. Well, aside from sex, of course. And beer.

  187. TheDiva
    June 7th, 2008 at 11:47 am [Reply]

    FOOB: On one hand, I can actually empathize: one of the first times I felt like an old fart was when my friend’s daughter referred to “American Pie” as “that Madonna song.” On the other, you’d think any musician worth her salt–even a teenage one–would have a knowledge of music extending more that 25 years back.

    Luann: At least it’s just a kiss–I don’t think I could handle Brad and Toni having “another kind of dessert” in the sense I was thinking.

  188. Mibbitmaker
    June 7th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

    #183 (John C) Looks like Cranky is a fan of both Ace and Frank Sinatra.

    He’d like to be a part of it
    In ol’ New Yoooooork….

  189. commodorejohn
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:09 pm [Reply]

    #173 Mr. O’Malley – Oh man, that’s almost as good as the Garfield Randomizer.

    9CL – Oh lord, I think we’re in for another week of this. “Cool friends” wasn’t this painfully drawn-out.

    DT – Why is the bank guard speaking out of his ear? I thought that was more Jack Elrod’s style.

    FOOB – Yes, Lynn, I’m sure you’re wanting us to chuckle derisively at Those Kids Today And Their Music, but screw you. April, Huey Lewis and the News, please, with “The Power Of Love.”

    FW – “And by that I am of course referring to Shirley Jackson’s short story ‘The Lottery,’ being a literature professor and all. What I’m trying to say is, I will most likely be dead before fall. You will too.”

    JP – Elvira, I don’t think growing pot is actually all that serious of a crime. Unless you think you’re going to die in prison, you’ll probably be out in a few years. In other news, holy crap, Abbey is being assimilated by Agent Smith! Somebody stop this before we’re deprived of (arguably) the hottest woman in the funnies!


    MT – There’s a lot to like about today’s Mark Trail, but my favorite is the way Cherry has done her hair like Claudia Cardinale as Princess Dala in The Pink Panther between panels one and three. It promises to make the Kelly Welly Versus Cherry shenanigans even funnier.

    MW – I think I understand: Mary wants to bone a politician because, if she can pull an Eleanor Roosevelt, she’ll get to meddle with many people’s lives at once. That’s our Mary, all right.

    PBS – Hahaha, Pastis, you rock.

    RMMD – Rex, go away. June deserves the action scenes in this strip. Just look at panel two; you’re staring surprisedly at the top shelf, while she’s actually pointing out where the guy you’re looking for went. You suck, Rex. Let June take over the comic, okay?

    SM – So Spider-Man is going to accidentally save the day? That seems entirely in character for this strip.

  190. Dylan
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:10 pm [Reply]

    I started reading Comics Curmudgeon recently and I decided to read a few of the earlier entries to get caught up. So I started going backwards through the archives.
    And I’ve found that if you want the comics to seem more insane than they really are, then just go through their story arcs in reverse.
    Knowing in advance that the comic in question is going to do something truly insane and then the anticipation leading up to that point gives me chills.
    I’ve passed the point where Lu Ann talks to ghosts in carbon monoxide fueled hallucinations and I’m almost up to the point where Tyler beats himself with a stick.

  191. Shoebox
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

    PBS: Just screamingly funny. What makes it really amazing is the little character-based touches. I especially love Goat’s beyond-horror-straight-to-brain-blowout reaction shot.

    Foob: Would be more touching if it, y’know, made sense. April and her Grandpa are supposed to have truly bonded over their mutual love of music, leading to this poignant…er…death scene, likely.

    So, in the course of all that sharing, she never picked up on what he might like to hear? Never mind ‘the golden oldies’ as a concept, how about specific favourite songs?

  192. CanuckDownSouth
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:34 pm [Reply]

    #189 commodorejohn re:FW – nonononono, only one of them can win The Lottery per year. But no matter: she stones him, he stones her – it’s all good in the Batiukverse

  193. Spike
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:36 pm [Reply]

    189 commodorejohn: What? All the good townsfolk of Westview are going to hurl cancer-inducing stones at Poor Ol’ Les? Batiuk lacks the imagination for such a wrinkle…but I like your take.

    FOOB: As much as I enjoy the snarks, I think LJ has it right this time.

    PBS: I hope this arc continues next week. Go, Pastis!

    JP: Is it me, or has Abby looking more and more like Gelsey Kirkland in “The Nutcracker” recently? Or have I just been ignoring JP for too long?

  194. Islamorada Girl
    June 7th, 2008 at 12:45 pm [Reply]

    I can’t wait until Mary Worth is shocked, shocked I tell you by how ugly and dirty politics, especially local politics, are in Santa Rosa, Country Club Republican capitol of Orange County.

  195. cheech wizard
    June 7th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

    103/Astroboy, et al: All of you making fun of sick elderly people are not funny.

    You mean like Lynn Johnson? Because that’s who’s getting skewered here. Besides, Gwampa Jim isn’t a real person, he’s a fictional character.

    Look. The elderly and infirm, along with small children, are the natural targets of black humor. They’re weak, they don’t move very fast, they’re isolated from the main herd — they’re easy prey. Think of Elly herself as a wounded wildebeest. Or perhaps a warthog. Or a mama rhino, frantically stomping out the fires of passion that flare up around her offspring.

    Many of us here, myself included, have known the pain of seeing parents or grandparents decline and die. In the real world, there’s nothing funny about the indignities of old age. Then again, neither is there anything funny about a father studying a map to try and locate that abandoned mine shaft where he’s planning to dump the flaccid bodies of his annoying children, as I’m certain is happening in today’s Family Circus. Or a respected physician being a pedophile who preys on teenaged boys. Or the beloved host of a children’s television program getting killed in a drunk-driving accident after drinking himself to oblivion to dull the pain of romantic rejection. Or the hot wife of a much-abused middle manager having sex with the family dog while he’s out of town. Oh, wait – that last one’s hilarious. Unless you’re the dog.

    There was a time, when Lynn showed a more deft touch, that I might have found these episodes moving. But that was when she weaved together the many facets of life into a fairly realistic pattern with three-dimensional characters. But these days, it’s all covered with treacle, and this just tastes like more of the same sweet sap.

    I think that if Grawnpa Jim were a real person, he’d agree with me. He’ probably say something like “Mwfnngaarghpwl – aghaghaghagh – BOXCAR!”


  196. cheech wizard
    June 7th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

    Bliss! PBS and GF both hit it out of the park. This is truly a good day.

  197. Harold
    June 7th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

    Hey! When did Margo change her ringtone from “tootle tootle tootle“?

  198. Calico
    June 7th, 2008 at 1:57 pm [Reply]

    #160 – I was thinking April might pull out “Safety Dance” or “Our Lips are Sealed” out of her musical hat.

    Or maybe something by Martha and the Motels.

    Dayum, the girl might become the next Danny Elfman yet!

  199. Calico
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:00 pm [Reply]

    And, let’s not forget “We’ve got the Beat.”

    We’ve got it! Yeeeeaaah!

  200. True Fable
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:15 pm [Reply]

    # 195 cheech wizard – Good points all, brother. I’ve let last night’s commentary roll over in my mind to ferment, and now I have Something to Say.

    Now it may not be fair for me to say since I am one of the most vocal, adamant and decidedly rabid Lynn Johnston critics out there (oh ya think?!?) but Lynn’s been making her living off the suffering of her characters for years now. She THRIVES on the energy generated by her panel-bound Pity Parties. Sure, there ought to be conflict in a story, but since when does conflict get a daily dose of last-panel puns? I wouldn’t dream of dissing a real-life grandfather suffering and I don’t even diss a comic grandpa suffering. LYNN does, though.

    “Oh hardy har har, let’s make jokes about Grandpa’s lack of body control. Let’s make jokes about Grandpa’s lack of vocal ability. Let’s poke fun at the way his elderly wife misinterprets his gestures. Oh boffo, let’s have Mike ask if his stroke-ridden grandfather is crazy because he can’t speak well anymore.” See, that is all Lynn’s doing, not mine. Not ours. Some of her strips have been pretty darned mean-spirited too. Add that to the fact that we rarely see any Patterson but April give more than a cursory glance in Grandpa’s direction, and you’ve got a pattern that defies sympathy from me.

    I can understand what Astroboy is saying; hell we are all intelligent enough to get the picture and agree that no one should ridicule the infirm in real life. But where would Crankshaft be without the premise of a grouchy old gumba who hates driving a school bus and doesn’t have anything nice to say about anyone? (it’d probably be funny, but I digress, sorry) Where would any of the comics be without extremes, right? Zits would just be Leave It To Beaver in ink; Blondie would just be about a businessman with a hot wife who cooks; Marvin would make me laugh at bellies and babies.

    But I don’t notice many other comics who mine the Comstock Lode of Misery quite like Lynn Johnston, or Tom Batiuk too for that matter. They stick in the knife of despair, twist it hard with deliberate irony and carve a wide swath with some belabored pun, all in the name of “finding gentle humor to lighten their troubles.”

    I say BULLSHIT. She’s done sensitive stories before but until the last three days here, she’s spent the last three YEARS dragging her readers from one cycle of despair to the other. Small wonder that Elly never seems happy or satisfied with her family, or that Liz doesn’t seem particularly happy or in love, or that Mike is still oh so racked with doubt despite the incredible amount of pure dumb LUCK as a writer and as a father (of kids who are pretty much left to their own devices with forks and wall sockets, and heavy objects on long table runners.) She doesn’t GIVE them a chance to be happy for long, despite the opportunity for any of the three to be so.

    And no, the argument that “well, we can’t see what they are doing off-panel” does NOT work for me, because these are comic strips; we are SUPPOSED to see the key points in their lives because we CAN’T see off-panel. Anything that needs to be told, needs to be told ON PANEL, just so there is no mis-interpretation of intent made by some wild-eyed Roopvillain like me. Show me what I need to see! And don’t put ANYTHING in a silly on-line “letter from the character” that isn’t shown in the strip, that is insulting to the readers who don’t have internet access, or can’t figure out how to surf the web and find the website. There are people like that out there. Frankly I’ve surprised some of the Coffee Squawkers can navigate their way in and out of their own bathrooms, but again I digress.

    Yes, old people do have serious life events happen to them, and Yes, sometimes they linger for a long time after those events occur. I don’t mind such things chronicled in a serious soaper like Mary Worth or Judge Parker. It’s when they are brought up in a Comedy strip and played up for Pathos and Chuckles on the same day over the space of several days, weeks, or months, that I say that we as snarkers should be able to call her on it, with her own cocktail of caustic ha-ha.

  201. Red Greenback
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

    #197-Dang, Harold, that’s right, good catch on that one! Maybe “tootle tootle tootle” are the actual words to the wedding march.

  202. dyslexic dog
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:32 pm [Reply]

    #200–Phrase Of The Week: “Cocktail of Caustic Ha-Ha.”

    True F, please get fitted for the float.

  203. dyslexic dog
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:35 pm [Reply]

    JP: It seems as if Abbey is trying out her new Lone Ranger mask. “Okay, we’ll buy the farm, but first, how does this look, Kimosabe?”

  204. Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
    June 7th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    #198 Calico: How bout Like a Virgin? We Built This City! Material Girl!!1! Heh!

    #200 True Fable:

    And no, the argument that “well, we can’t see what they are doing off-panel” does NOT work for me, because these are comic strips; we are SUPPOSED to see the key points in their lives because we CAN’T see off-panel.

    Word, bro… Neglecting to show us events and qualities of character is shit for craft. And the online “letters from characters” encourage egregious retconning.

  205. KH
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:10 pm [Reply]

    #200: True Fable. That was indeed Something to Say. And you said it well.

  206. Baka Gaijin
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:20 pm [Reply]

    Saturday’s Comics

    Arlo & Janis: What? Does Ludwig usually shower up instead of licking himself?

    Cathy: Yes, men, unlike you, aren’t neurotic about what we look like, especially our feet. Why do you think so many of us have beer bellies?

    Get Fuzzy: Satchel’s reaction in Panel 2 is priceless.

  207. Baka Gaijin
    June 7th, 2008 at 3:22 pm [Reply]

    Wait a minute! If Ludwig had his head between his legs in panel 2 between licking other areas, it might make sense.

  208. Vakar
    June 7th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

    MW: I imagine a conversation much like this one taking place between Macbeth and the future Lady Macbeth. “Thane of Glamis? Congratulations, Mac! Looks like now’s the time to get started…”

  209. IdleDandy
    June 7th, 2008 at 4:53 pm [Reply]

    I know I’m the only one who gets the Sunday comics on Saturday, but as soon as they go up online, can someone please explain Curtis to me?

  210. Calico
    June 7th, 2008 at 5:03 pm [Reply]

    #204 – Hahaha!
    Let’s not forget “867-5309.”

    Please, everyone, forgive me for remembering all this pap.

    I’m an old Deadhead, Springsteen fan, pseudo-Phishhead, and total (older tunes) Genesis Freak, but still I unfortunately remember the ultimate worst of the 80′s.

    But I’m sure Apes will pull her rep off just fine.

  211. Muffaroo
    June 7th, 2008 at 5:06 pm [Reply]

    DT – “This is a very large withdrawal, sir.” And furthermore, you’re ugly, which means you’re almost certainly a criminal of some sort, and I’m required to send your fingerprints and dental information to the coroner, because you’ll probably die in about six hours of what passes for time here.

    H&J03 00 DAYS SINCE HAVING TO MAKE A CHARACTER’S HEAD INTO A SILHOUETTE TO HIDE POOR INKING! Makes me want to go get the old portable music player and groove on Thomas Merton.

    Harold @197 – Margo never changed her ringtone. It’s still the Wedding March from “Thomas the Tank Engine.”

    True Fable @200 – I agree. We’re not making fun of a real old man, we’re mocking the mawkish soap opera tropes LJ is dishing out, and if she wants to claim she fleshes out the story on a web page somewhere, well, I’d say that’s just what we’re doing here. Heh.

  212. Islamorada Girl
    June 7th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: I watched a close relative die slowly and painfully as the result of several strokes. It was the worst event in my life.
    Having said that, I agree with True Fable absolutely. The Roopville Man speaks great truth.

    That said, howzabout a little “Chuck E.’s in Love”?

  213. queek
    June 7th, 2008 at 5:51 pm [Reply]

    SSB @ #29

    Melissa is cuter than Bridget and Ashley rolled up together.

    umm, not that way.. . .

  214. IagoPogo
    June 7th, 2008 at 6:23 pm [Reply]

    That ringtone’s been assigned to Eric, about whom Margo finally stopped caring about five minutes ago. He’s using his satellite phone to make his one phone call from the police station allowed by Chinese law before he has his organs harvested, but Margo’s decided to fall for Jack’s brushcut charms instead.
    What are F**king Brush cut charms, he asks?

  215. John C Fremont
    June 7th, 2008 at 6:30 pm [Reply]

    FC – Is this a recycled strip? Sure, the kids have proper shoulder restraints, but the back of the front seat is lower than the one on my old ’61 Chevy, which was made before the invention of whiplash.

    Why does this bother me?

  216. Bobdog
    June 7th, 2008 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    SF – #1 is the renegrade, #2 and #3 are the outlaws and #4 is the sheriff.

  217. AhClem
    June 7th, 2008 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    Speaking of ringtones, the banner ad at the top of the page is advertising “Josh Ringtones.”

    The mind boggles at the possibilities.

    I’d be tempted to download it to see what it’s like, but being one of the 37 people left in the world who don’t have a cell phone, it wouldn’t do me much good.

  218. Tim O'Shenko
    June 7th, 2008 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    GT: What the hell program is Gil running on his computer? It looks more like he’s trying to decode the Necronomicon than write a letter to his congresswoman. Perhaps he’s preparing to unleash a shoggoth on the unsuspecting INS agents, and just doesn’t want Mimi to find out.

  219. Orange Doorhinge
    June 7th, 2008 at 7:09 pm [Reply]

    FOOB: When I visited my 70+year old Mom in a nursing home, ALL she wanted was a cigarette. Songs, school grades and such were secondary. I wheeled her outside and gave her a cigarette (The nurses kept them at their station). THEN she was quite interested in Family chit-chat and entertainment.

    That was the origin of my little joke about April’s Grandpa.

    (And my mom returned home died peacefully at there one night)

  220. Orange Doorhinge
    June 7th, 2008 at 7:14 pm [Reply]

    A3G: I truly thought it was ALAN saying he loved Margo. I had to re-read and examine the strip before figuring out it was the other guy. It’s the Ken Doll model, I tell you! They’re NOT anatomically correct, either.

  221. TennesseeJed
    June 7th, 2008 at 7:15 pm [Reply]

    #210 Calico
    Hey, well, if April played some DEAD from the 80′s it would be GREAT.

    A little Althea…

  222. Mibbitmaker
    June 7th, 2008 at 7:34 pm [Reply]

    #217-219: Three comments all at 7:09 PM (Eastern)! Is that a record?

    #212(Islamorada Girl): That one’s from 1979. We’re slowly pushing back from Lizardbreath’s 1985 into the ’70s. Which makes me happy (Except for the fact that that would put us into Crankshaft’s musical realm. Good songs there, though!).

  223. ChattyGenes
    June 7th, 2008 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    #200 True Fable. Well-said, Truman!

  224. John C Fremont
    June 7th, 2008 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

    # 221 – Hey go back a little further, Jed. Something from Shakedown Street. A lot of people hated it, but I loved that album, especially the title track. Not sure April could pull it off, though.

    # 219 – My mom gave up cigarettes a couple of years or so before she left us, not because of health issues, but because of the price. I can totally see where you’re coming from, though.

    # 195 & 200 – Word, as the young folk say. You know the kids today, with their sensible shopping tendencies, their “1985 oldies,” and their overall saintliness.

  225. FOOBed again
    June 7th, 2008 at 8:00 pm [Reply]

    #222 Mibbitmaker: I think Crankshaft’s more a 40′s music kind of guy…

  226. Mordock999
    June 7th, 2008 at 8:14 pm [Reply]

    Today’s Luann (06/07/08)

    Say Brad,

    “We hoped you LOVED the ‘Kiss’

    ‘cuz that ALL you’re gonna get.

    For there AIN’T no ‘Booty Calls’

    in a LUANN comic Strip.”

    Burma Sh….,
    Ah. Forget it.


    DEATH to TJ!

  227. Shoebox
    June 7th, 2008 at 8:25 pm [Reply]

    [Stands and applauds True Fable] Well said, sir, well said. Even more so than usual.

    I’d like especially to second the notion – as someone who’s struggled, and/or watched her family struggle, with eldercare issues for decades – that those who’re up in arms over the mild fun being poked here might better channel their indignation towards Lynn.

    Seriously. Send a letter to the ‘Coffee Talk’ asking just what’s so funny about calling an old, sick man crazy to his face, and see what happens.

  228. terrene
    June 7th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

    Jack of Apartment G-3 has the worst case of cheekbonitis I’ve ever witnessed.

  229. Sparky
    June 7th, 2008 at 9:29 pm [Reply]

    #221: “Brokedown Palace” is a bit older than mid 80s, but perhaps more appropriate.

  230. Citric
    June 7th, 2008 at 9:45 pm [Reply]

    You know you’re a Plugger when pretty young girls get sick of you being a creepy old man and staring at their ass.

  231. Luprand
    June 7th, 2008 at 9:48 pm [Reply]

    211 Muffaroo: Oddly, I just finished editing an essay on the presence of eugenics theory in Dick Tracy. The strip’s original creator, Chester Gould, was quoted as saying that the villains were always ugly so that “anybody can look at the strip and know right away who’s the villain.”

    So, uh … I guess this whole time, we’ve been calling DT out for doing what it intended to do all along.

  232. Slylock Foxy
    June 7th, 2008 at 10:04 pm [Reply]

    Just wanted to say how much I agree with cheech wizard @ 196. Lately I’ve been getting pretty annoyed with Get Fuzzy, but today’s was top-notch. And PBS, of course, is gold. Why didn’t I start reading it earlier?

  233. Dingo
    June 7th, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

    If Jack isn’t careful, Margo’s about to give him a “Won’t You Marry Me?” bill.

  234. Joe Btfsplk
    June 7th, 2008 at 11:57 pm [Reply]

    Mark Trail – What the FRIG is up with Cherry’s head in Panel Three there? Her face has slid about forty-five degrees around toward the right side of her head, so her earlobe is almost poking her in the eye. I’m calling this a deeply ill-conceived clip-n-paste job. Elrod, or whoever’s “drawing” this strip, has attempted to construct a new head by copying the face from one drawing and grafting it onto the head from another, apparently not understanding that the perspectives of the two are entirely incompatible. All due respect to Elrod and so forth, but really, this is not pretty.

  235. Charles Brubaker
    June 8th, 2008 at 12:08 am [Reply]


    I make an appearance in today’s Retail!

  236. Old School Allie Cat
    June 8th, 2008 at 12:49 am [Reply]

    Having just Googled the top songs of 1985, the only appropriate choice seems to be…

    “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go”

    And having watched my Dad recover from a quad bypass and carotid artery surgery these past six weeks, I don’t take any especial joy in bagging on the elderly and/or infirm.

    But I do have a sick/inappropriate sense of humor. My advice to Dad before he went into surgery – “If you see a bright white light – DON’T walk towards it!”

    Thankfully, I got that sick sense of humor from him, and he laughed.

  237. Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
    June 8th, 2008 at 1:54 am [Reply]

    MW: In the second to last panel, the waiter is TOTALLY Jeff Cory in disguise.

  238. Poteet
    June 8th, 2008 at 2:43 am [Reply]

    Foob — As a Foobloatharian, I am solemnly pledged to loathe Foob in all its manifestations and storylines, including the current one. Apart from that, however, I am not touched by what’s happening to Gwamps, and I don’t really know why. My reaction when Doonesbury dealt with old-age decline and death was very different.

  239. ChattyGenes
    June 8th, 2008 at 4:32 am [Reply]

    #243 Poteet. What the heck are you doing up at this hour?!


  240. ChattyGenes
    June 8th, 2008 at 4:33 am [Reply]

    And where the heck did I get 243?? That should be #238!!!

  241. Anonymous
    June 8th, 2008 at 7:08 am [Reply]

    Niall sez:

    My Cage is made of Pure Golden Win and Laugh today. Well done, Ed and Melissa!

  242. True Fable
    June 8th, 2008 at 7:49 am [Reply]

    MC GOATS! The Lockhorns are goats!! Ed and Melissa, that panel alone made my day!
    C’haft Why do some of us just automatically not like mimes? I dunno, but today’s strip amused me.
    DtM Nice try, kid, but MenaceWatch 2008 says there’s a world of difference between Annoying and Menace. You’re just annoying. Now if you force-feed or sneak in any of that food to him, we’ll talk menacing.
    FC For shame, Dennis. Even Jeffy can out-menace you, and it ain’t much at that.
    FW Yeah, yeah; OLD. You’re OLD. The strip has jumped 10 years in time and you’re OLD. The premise has gotten OLD.
    Curtis Is…is Curtis’s dad threatening physical violence against his annoying son? Can’t he just like, tell him to go into another room or he will take his ipod away from him? No… better threaten him with a beatdown instead. After all, he worked so hard wasting all that panel space.
    Scenes from Suburban Hell Dot seeks to squelch Ditto’s possible incestuous urges, urges Ditto never even had in the first place. That’s desperate, Dottie.
    JP Yeah, but the nose isn’t what gets my attention!
    MT Mark goes tree-sailing in bear country.
    MW Oh you poor fool. No one in his right mind considers dinner with Mary as ENJOYABLE. Meanwhile, Mary is happy to hear he’ll be working tough hours. She’s got a casserole aging in her refrigerator and it needs to go somewhere fast.
    RMMD,DS,RSVP,IOU,PDQ, A&P Kid, don’t mess with Rex. He’s already giving you the Frowny Face.
    FBoFW Patterson kids learn from a tender young age how to kiss up to someone if they want something they have. The beat goes on in Milborough.

  243. True Fable
    June 8th, 2008 at 7:52 am [Reply]

    Thanks, y’all. #200 was just something I had to get out of my system. It’s like, the most satisfying, relief-giving belch in the world.

    Well, in FOOB’s case it’s probably intestinally provoked, but you get my drift.

  244. Wanders
    June 8th, 2008 at 7:58 am [Reply]

    MW: This is the third time we’ve seen Joe Giella sneak in the same panel withRon Amalfi’s Braveheart expression!

  245. Buck Ripsnort
    June 8th, 2008 at 8:51 am [Reply]

    #231– Leprand, that arguement would work better if the “heroes” weren’t ugly too. I guess there’s a little evil in everybody in Dickland.

  246. Girl Reporter
    June 8th, 2008 at 8:56 am [Reply]

    MW: Uneasy lies the head that wears the appointment to our city’s town council.

  247. dimestore lipstick
    June 8th, 2008 at 9:36 am [Reply]

    Much appreciation for Ed & Melissa’s “Sunday comics Sunday comic”.
    And is that Dean Booth in disguise, popping up in today’s Retail ?

  248. dimestore lipstick
    June 8th, 2008 at 9:38 am [Reply]

    Oops-I guess not. Sorry, Charles Brubaker!

  249. John C Fremont
    June 8th, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

    A3G – I like how, for the Sunday recap, Alan adds the word “again” in the first panel.

    MW – Oh, man, so much to love about today’s Mary Worth! From the gilded image of Burt Lancaster in the second panel, to the clinking of glasses containing something other than Chateau Kool-Aid, it’s all one big visual feast. I appreciate the late Frank Nelson appearing as the one-armed waiter in panel 7, but panel 3 is my favorite. Here we have your standard issue Snooty Waiter, we have Mary talking politely while glaring angrily at Ron’s carving style, and we have Father Guido Sarducci on a date – but it’s Father Guido Sarducci as portrayed by Buck Henry! Oh, I could stare at this all day – but I probably shouldn’t.

    RMMD – Wow, an entire case of Wilson & Nolan. This store rocks!

    MT – Judging from the final panel, I’d say that in a few minutes we won’t have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.

  250. Harold
    June 8th, 2008 at 9:54 am [Reply]

    Today’s Mark Trail frightens and confuses me.

    “There were once over 50,000 Grizzlies in North America – Today, due to hunting and human encroachment into their territory, there are about 1,200…In Alaska, the population is estimated to be over 30,000.”

    So is Alaska not part of North America? Or am I interpreting some of these words wrong?

    That hat in the last panel may have belonged to Timothy Treadwell Jr. there, but I can’t shake the impression that it is being worn by the Invisible Man, and the Grizzly has him by the jumblies. Or, perhaps the Grizzly is about to be wearing a backwards baseball cap.

    Yes, climb, foolish hiker, climb! A Grizzly that size can’t climb a dead, rotting tree! It can only knock it over!

  251. Calico
    June 8th, 2008 at 10:32 am [Reply]

    #221 – Hey now yeah.

    Maybe a little “Touch of Grey” as well – would be apropos lyrics for FBOFW.

    MT – The depiction of Mark being run up a tree just makes my morning. Watch your butt, Mark!
    Once I was hiking with a friend in NH, who was a Federal Fish and Wildlife officer, and she pointed out scratch marks on a tree and told me that was a bear that recently marked its territory – I remember feeling like I had no knees or backbone for about 5 minutes.
    However, no bear was spotted – whew.

  252. Talking Squirrel
    June 8th, 2008 at 10:35 am [Reply]

    “I know we have some healthcare workers among us. Perhaps if some have experience working with seriously ill patients they might contribute to the discussion.”

    100 mg of succinylcholine is the standard therapy. Rather looking forward to seeing Gramps reappear to Ape as a Family Circus-style spectre, actually. Bathos always works better than pathos for me.

  253. Tracer Bullet
    June 8th, 2008 at 10:37 am [Reply]

    MW: Yes, the hell of life as a small-town government official. The dozens of grocery store openings, the grueling hours manning the grill at the annual Founder’s Day Picnic, the horror of officiating Easter Egg huts. It’s a good thing his mother isn’t around to see the power-mad tyrant Ron is about to become.

    MC: I would have gone with “Dilbear.”

    Curtis: I’m sure there’s a joke here, but damned if I can find it.

    RMNAMBLA: Obviously he’s not a cop, half-wit, or he’d have already dragged you out of there by your stupid hair
    and beat your your ass with his night stick. As he’s Rex Morgan, he’s going to caress your stupid hair and love your ass with his man stick.

    PBS: Rat for President.

  254. Joe Btfsplk
    June 8th, 2008 at 10:38 am [Reply]

    Mark Trail – In Bear Country, it is best not to travel alone, but you should choose your comapnions carefully. Remember, you don’t have to run faster than the bear; you just have to run faster than the person you’re with.

  255. Calico
    June 8th, 2008 at 10:45 am [Reply]

    #254 – And it’s true, it certainly is good to know at least part of the repertoire from “Stomp.”

    Or at least carry a loud pot and metal spoon or ladle to bang on while you sing Megadeth and/or Metallica tunes as you merrily saunter down the bear-trail.

    Curtis – I think the joke is that if Curtis doesn’t STFU about his IPod, beleaguered Dad is going to beat his eldest son black and blue.
    Haha, threats of child abuse, however veiled, are really really funny! Especially in Curtis! : P

  256. gleeb
    June 8th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

    9CL: Having Seth be the most sensible character for the past two weeks can’t be allowed to stand. So, here’s a strip to remind you that he’s a big ol’ sissy.

    Dick: What’s with the pipe and the fiddle? We have all the Sherlock in this strip we need already.

    Curtis: I get it, Billingsley. You’re saying Curtis’ old man is threatening him with violence.

    Mark: I looked at a map. Alaska is in North America. And bears don’t have to stop at border crossings.

    Sally: Ted drinks like a squirrel.

  257. Baka Gaijin
    June 8th, 2008 at 11:42 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Does Ron know what he just got himself into? Unless I’m mistaken, he just PRE-THANKED Mary for future meddling. This can’t end well for him.

  258. Baka Gaijin
    June 8th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

    Mary Worth: Maybe we’ll see a hilarious week of Mary running between the Bum Boat and La Rosa when she mistakenly makes dates with both Ron and Dr. Cory for the same night ala Three’s Company.

  259. Islamorada Girl
    June 8th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

    MW: Marcel Proust said it was possible to seduce anyone, if you were willing to sit up until 3 a.m. listening to their problems. I’m guessing that’s Mary’s technique.

  260. KJL
    June 8th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    Margo looks alarmingly like TV legend Milton Berle in panel # 1. I wonder if she resembles him in the crotch department too…

  261. commodorejohn
    June 8th, 2008 at 11:59 am [Reply]

    A3G – I pity the poor new readers who can’t figure out why Alan’s hair has darkened and he’s suddenly in Tibet in the last panel.

    BB – Ha ha! Sarge has rammed a mop right through the middle of Beetle’s brain, leaving him at best severely incapacitated and at worst a vegetable!

    Crankshaft – Ed, you magnificent bastard, you’re about the one shining spark of entertainment in the bleakness that is the Batiukverse.

    Curtis – “THE” has to be the most egregious misuse of quotation marks Curtis has comitted to date. And in a strip with a character named “Onion,” that’s saying something.

    FC – So much subtextual weirdness going on today. Suffice to say, Jeffy is only three? What? Seriously?

    FOOB – “Robin and Meredith, that was nice. You helped a lot just now – while I stood around and did nothing like the asswipe that I am.”

    FW – “Do you realize we’re likely to come down with a debilitating illness at any moment, Bull?”

    Garfield – Okay, the heck with The Family Circus, today’s Garfield is where the subtextual weirdness is really at.

    MT – That poor hiker doesn’t understand their hostility towards him.

    MC – Today’s My Cage is pure awesome from start to finish, but my favorite has to be the Lockhorns send-up; I never realized until now just how much they do look like sheep. Two thumbs up, Ed and Melissa!

    NS – Gee, could Wiley possibly be not voting for McCain?

    OBH – This strip is so wonderfully messed-up.

    PBS – Yeah, good call, Rat.

    RMMD – If that bum Jimmy doesn’t get his rear in gear, there’s going to be about a dozen angry customers crowding around the stockroom door, wondering why that case of WILSON & NOLAN hasn’t been put out yet; how else are they going to take advantage of the two-for-one sale?

    SFx – Slylock has apparently failed to take into consideration the possibility that someone might eat the shells as well as the nuts.

    Spiderman – By “at last!” the Vulture is referring to the fact that exciting things are presumably about to happen. Poor, naive Vulture.

  262. cheech wizard
    June 8th, 2008 at 12:11 pm [Reply]

    SF – It’s a trick question. Each of the cowboys is a unique individual, with his own special talents and gifts. To say that they, or any other group of people, are all the same is to deny their essential humanity and the unique contributions each brings to this rich stew we call our culture. At least, that’s what some fat bitch from Ann Arbor told me.

  263. John C Fremont
    June 8th, 2008 at 12:19 pm [Reply]

    # 261 – I think the reason the Wilson & Nolan hasn’t been put out yet has something to do with that expiration date.

  264. blammers66
    June 8th, 2008 at 12:46 pm [Reply]

    Crankshaft: For the rest of the day, Ed then uses his mime money to help the homeless, tip the wait staff, buy a newspaper, and pay a cab driver, for which is he bruttaly beaten by the latter.

    FOOB: (Sigh.) Another week goes by, and Grampa isn’t dead. Again.

  265. Dr. Weird
    June 8th, 2008 at 12:54 pm [Reply]

    261, commodorejohn- Let’s think about what Wiley is saying here… that it’d be better to scrap the entire system of democracy than to have a candidate you don’t like running for office. Very progressive.

  266. Sarah
    June 8th, 2008 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

    Best quote in the comics, today:
    GF: “I have dabbed my nooks with it.” [Satchel referring to the towel that Bucky claims is his.] Excellent. Yesterday’s PBS was pretty fantastic as well.

  267. Tom
    June 8th, 2008 at 1:09 pm [Reply]

    #265: Since it’s a “comic” strip, I’m going to guess that Wiley is just joking, and not actually advocating the restoration of monarchy. It’s not all that funny, although it’s probably funnier than any of the comments being made about it, including this one.

  268. Calico
    June 8th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

    Wilson and Nolan Vintage 2008 – will mature around January 2009, like this recent RM plot.

  269. AhClem
    June 8th, 2008 at 2:05 pm [Reply]

    Several years ago, a ranger in Glacier National Park told me how to tell a black bear from a grizzly bear. He said to grab a large branch or rock, walk up to the bear, smash him across the nose with it, and then run up into a tree. If it climbs up after you, it’s a black bear. If it knocks the tree down, it’s a grizzly.

    He was joking, of course. Or at least I think he was.

  270. cheech wizard
    June 8th, 2008 at 2:07 pm [Reply]

    264/blammer: Better yet, later on Crankshaft is eating in a restaurant and tries to signal that he’s choking, and the same mime/now waiter pretends to give him the Heimlich maneuver.

  271. Baka Gaijin
    June 8th, 2008 at 2:30 pm [Reply]

    #261 commodorejohn: Garfield’s message is as subtextual as Margo’s desire for a mate.

  272. DAS
    June 8th, 2008 at 2:39 pm [Reply]

    MW: wow! So it turns out (poorly lit throw-away panel in Sunday’s MW) that Ron Amalfi is the Godfather or something? He wants to “revitalize” downtown and Mary can’t wait to do her part by meddling all the homeless, drug dealers, etc. out of town or possibly even to death?

    This story line has so much promise. But then again, so do many MW story lines. Unless somehow Chester, Jeff, Drew et al, all come together here, this story line will end up as described above — with Mary watching Hogan’s Heroes and nothing really happening.

  273. TennesseeJed
    June 8th, 2008 at 2:45 pm [Reply]

    Way back to #224, John

    Hey now, shakedown st LIVE from the 80′s with Brent Mydland was AWESOME. But speaking of the album itself, what could be better than Stagger Lee?!?

  274. queek
    June 8th, 2008 at 2:47 pm [Reply]

    MC: purest win.

    PBS: 99 and 44/100ths percent pure win

    A&J: a Trailian squirrel seems to have migrated.

    RiR: wonder if Jimbo gets to play “Find the Treasure” with her in that outfit after the offspawn is asleep.

  275. TennesseeJed
    June 8th, 2008 at 2:53 pm [Reply]

    And not to forget #229 Sparky

    Well, brokedown palace reached a kind of perfection in ’81 so that works out, right? :P
    Although the title sounds apropriate, the words don’t really have anything to do with the current foob storyline (unless theyre all more copacetic and less hamfisted than we thought). I imagine Apes would have to capo her geetar on the 5th fret to be able to sing it anyway…

    New Speedway:
    “In the heat of the sun a man died of cold” sounds like most old people I know, anyway! XD

  276. Dub Not Dubya
    June 8th, 2008 at 3:14 pm [Reply]

    I haven’t had time to read the comments much lately, but I just popped in wondering if I could possibly be the only one who laughed at panel 2 of today’s RMMRSA:

    Yes, June, I don’t think Rex is coming out, either. Wilson and Nolan are continuing to toy with us.

  277. Slylock Foxy
    June 8th, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

    I like Garfield today, actually. I agree that it is deeply weird, but semi-subtextual weirdness beats “That cat sure is fat, and his owner’s life sure is depressingly pathetic and meaningless!” jokes any day if you ask me.

  278. Poteet
    June 8th, 2008 at 3:32 pm [Reply]

    # 239 — Chatty, I was up at that hour because I have The Horrible Thing That’s Going Around, and so far, no remedy has enabled me to lie down and go to sleep in my usual accustomed manner. Instead, I have to repeatedly get up on one elbow and cough and blow my nose all night. CC was more fun.

    Foob — Monday 6/9 Spoiler — Theme: Gwampa’s, health, Liz’s wedding date. Overall Reaction: Major dread.

  279. Thursdaynext
    June 8th, 2008 at 3:33 pm [Reply]

    Foob You have to have never met an actual human child in your whole life (as apparently is the case with Lynn, Mike and Grandpa) to not understand this request. Wheelchairs are very neat to kids. Everyone I have known who uses one has understood this charming fact, and has responded appropriately, either offering the child a ride, or talking about why someone might need to use it, or refusing the chid kindly by explaining it’s not a toy and belongs to someone.
    But I suppose if you had only read about the concept of children you this might experience the astonishment and surprise that happens in the strip today.

  280. Poteet
    June 8th, 2008 at 4:29 pm [Reply]

    # 278 — Arrgh, I put in a bad comma! I blame my current illness and consequent lack of sleep. Beware The Horrible Thing. And the “overall dread” was mine.

  281. Catbus
    June 8th, 2008 at 4:42 pm [Reply]

    Sunday’s Hagar: It’s not like I expect historical accuracy from this comic, but what’s up with the baseball terminology? That’s just weird.

  282. doofus
    June 8th, 2008 at 7:07 pm [Reply]

    Foob: All of this talk about gwampa in the curmudgeon has brought back memories of how moved I was by the plight of the elderly as a child. The tragic thing is, it is this blog and not FBOW that has brought back these memories!

  283. Paul1963
    June 9th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

    #266 Sarah–Yes, “I have dabbed my nooks with it” was my favorite line in Sunday’s comics.

    That Satchel can really turn a phrase sometimes, can’t he?

Comments are closed for this post.