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Mary Worth in: Dinner for one, tears for two

Mary Worth, 7/10/08

Now that Mary’s been dumped, she’s taken off the alluring maroon one-piece belted number she was wearing as part of her seduction strategy, and changed into her lounging clothes, which apparently consist of t-shirts she scrounged from the “Lost and Found” box down at the cruise ship terminal in 1985. The shirt’s unnatural inky blackness should easily mask any butter stains as our jilted biddy eats her seafood scampi with her hands right out of the microwaveable plastic tray while standing over the sink. But will the hot pink island scene be dulled by her tears?

Cleats, 7/10/08

I don’t really talk about Cleats very often, because it resides in that netherworld of “generally not interesting enough to make fun of on my blog, but not actively offensive enough for me to go through the trouble of removing it from my Chronicle custom comics page.” This week’s strips have consisted of typical dull-ish whimsy, about a soccer ball that’s getting a little too warm after being left out on the sunny field during half time — until today, when we’re presented with the horrific image of an inanimate object somehow imbued not just with the power of thought, but also with the biological urges to eat and drink, and yet lacking any of the anatomical equipment needed to meet those needs. I can think of no crueler punishment that a sadistic creator could dish out.

Apartment 3-G, 7/10/08

Alan is turning out to be an even more delightfully incompetent drug dealer than any of us could have hoped. Over the past few weeks, he’s repeatedly violated such well-established Drug Dealer Rules as “Don’t smoke your product,” “Don’t smoke your product with your customers,” “Don’t use your straight job as a drug-dealing den,” and “Don’t let your crackhead customers hang around your straight job smoking crack when there’s a perfectly good alley out back.”

Ray, meanwhile, is showing the lethargic semi-consciousness that’s all too typical of users of depressant drugs like crack cocaine. However, even in Ray’s crack-numbed state, faithful reader Shandyowl recognizes something in the young man: himself. “I have been joking with my friends that Alan using his paycheck to buy some sort of generic non-specific narcotic is based on me and today I find that I am guesting in the strip!” Behold the uncanny resemblance:

“If only I were at home — I would have access to pictures where I am
actually wearing a yellow t-shirt, darn it!” he says.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 10, 2008 at 10:53 am and is filed under Apartment 3-G, Cleats, Mary Worth.

276 responses to “Mary Worth in: Dinner for one, tears for two”

Muffaroo
July 10th, 2008 at 10:59 am [Reply]

Archie – I see the Gloptron 3000 watches old Warner Brothers cartoons, too. “Baseball Bugs,” 1946. “He got it!” Perhaps we can look forward to “Does Your Tobacco Taste Different Lately?” and “I’m only ninety-three and a half years old!”

DT – Third panel: another scary ’subliminal suppository’ picture. “We’ll keep these whistles hidden somewhere the sun doesn’t shine! If you get my meaning!”

FW – More comical in-joking. “Mickey Demeo” was Mike Esposito’s pen name when he was slumming at Marvel, “Frankie Ray” was Frank Giacoia. We can look forward to “Adam Austin” and “Martin A. Bursten” in future mystifying panels.

GA – Bad luck for Rufe! He sat in the “Dire” chair. Is that Key Grip in the first panel really a cat? If he was in a more menial line of work, he’d be a Plugger.

GT – Dramatic sunburst effects for what seems to be a guy with a painful, ball-shaped wart on his elbow.

MT – It’s the extremely rare ‘Flounder’ moose, which has two eyes and two nostrils on the same side of its head. Some say it was run over by a steamroller, others say it was diesel. It gives Kelly Welly dreams of “Horny Harriet” from Zap #4. (hat tip to Gagott68 @187yesterthread — comment edited because I almost said ‘carp’)

MW – Hold tight! Hold tight! — BRRRR ackey sackey, want some seafood, Momma!

Momma – More fortune cookie games. Here’s where it’s best to use the “…with an Uzi” variety.

PBS – I see dead cartoon characters. This isn’t just thinning the herd, it’s cleansing. All this carnage… it makes me chuckle.

PC – Here’s a superior approach to caricature from Mallard Filmore’s – three panels of overwrought dialog, followed by someone giving the character’s name, just in case nothing in the words actually tells anybody who it’s supposed to be. The advantage is in not having to look at a drawing that’s as bad as the text.

S-M – Considering how fast birds have to flap to keep their tiny, hollow-bone bodies up, I’m amazed to the point of sheer non-belief that this guy can fly with a huge bag of pennies in one hand while keeping an even keel and avoiding subway trains in a narrow tunnel, and still has the concentration to keep up a running monolog about how freaking smart he is. Truly, there’s nothing a man with wings can’t do! Although, judging from the looks he’s getting, remembering to zip up might be the next big thing to work on.

Zippy – For me, this strip still has a higher batting average than many of the classics and the cutting-edgers. Perhaps context is everything, but I had to smile at “Odd, but suddenly, I can’t think of anything zany to say…”
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 10th, 2008 at 11:00 am [Reply]

I have no mouth and I must sip frappuccino.
AhClem
July 10th, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

A3G – Having once been the worlds most feared arch-villain, Lex Luthor is now reduced to smoking dope in a third-rate comic strip.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Laura c
July 10th, 2008 at 11:04 am [Reply]

I have to say, Mary has almost been a recognizable human being these last couple of days.
Paul1963
July 10th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Mary Worth is wearing a T-shirt.
Mary Worth is wearing a T-shirt.
Holy God, Mary Worth is wearing a T-shirt!!
Isn’t that one of the signs of the Apocalypse? I thought Mary was one of those women who wears a skirt and pearls to work in the garden or clean the bathroom. I find it disturbing to see her dressed like most people dress these days when they’re knocking around the house by themselves.
Uncle Lumpy
July 10th, 2008 at 11:07 am [Reply]

Bah! These guys not only look like one another, they look like all the rest of us, too. Apartment 3G is the identity sump of the universe.
Hank
July 10th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

RE: Muffaroo, Prickley City: The “three panels of overwrought dialog, followed by someone giving the character’s name” technique is a staple of political satire strips at least as far back as Doonsbury’s college years. I’m not sure why you suddenly find it troublesome. Is it because the writer is a Republican?
Anon
July 10th, 2008 at 11:12 am [Reply]

I am sorry Josh, you HAVE to read those comics.

So I don’t have to.

It is part of the pact we signed.
Dingo
July 10th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

Paul1963, the main reason one wears pearls is to give your partner “the reins” while riding you in backdoor action. Lo these many years that Dr. Jeff Cory has seen Mary’s bosom swing to and fro like fleshy swords of Damocles above his white cotton sheets in the mirror on his headboard. When a women of a certain age bestows her neck in pearls and twists them with her index finger, she’s telling you, “I want you. Now. On the lanai. Sodomize me like you were cleaning out the bag on a Hoover.”

It’s on wikipedia.
T. Chicana
July 10th, 2008 at 11:13 am [Reply]

MW: That so-bad-it’s-good tee shirt has somehow knocked down my defenses. I’ll come over and have some seafood scampi with ya, Mary!

She NEEDED to get knocked down a few (hundred) pegs, and now that it’s done, she’s going to drown her sorrows. In imitation crab and Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup.

But I have the distinct queasy feeling that a certain Santa Royale seafood lover is going to be joining her in about 2.5 seconds (that’s two weeks Mary time).
Brick Bradford
July 10th, 2008 at 11:14 am [Reply]

MW–I see that Mary also bought casual clothes from the Rohrschach Collection–the rapid movements of the palm trees on her t-shirt almost made me nauseous.

MT–When the inevitable moose attack takes place–and it will, for moose are cranky critters-especially a cow with a calf–and there is a calf somewhere–Kelly Welly should heed the advice they gave us before the Mayor’s Marathon in Anchorage–when a moose attacks try to get behind it because they attack with their front hooves ( I know–too many “attacks” in that sentence). I felt, and feel, that this implies an unlikely amount of cooperation from the moose.
Uncle Lumpy
July 10th, 2008 at 11:17 am [Reply]

#9 Dingo –

. . . bestows her neck in pearls. . .

I’m sure you meant “festoons.” ‘Cause it’s dirtier.
mir777
July 10th, 2008 at 11:18 am [Reply]

MW: Seeing Mary Worth in a tshirt has somehow shaken me to the core. It is disturbing in a way I can’t describe. Plus, she appears to have a waistline.
Don in MO
July 10th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

I can think of no crueler punishment that a sadistic creator could dish out.

I had to delurk (after about 3-4 months) for this comment. That soccer ball is infinitely grateful that Tom Batiuk has never gotten hold of it.

Can a soccer ball get cancer?
gnome de blog
July 10th, 2008 at 11:23 am [Reply]

Wait a minute! She could make “seafood scampi??” I can’t decide if that’s an oxymoron, a redundancy, or a typo. Mary could make seafood scamper all right.

But if she’s just in the mood for “seafood” why doesn’t she just call up Toby? Or Dawn Weston? It’s pretty certain she ain’t doing anything tonight.
Islamorada Girl
July 10th, 2008 at 11:25 am [Reply]

7: Tinsley, is that you?
Hank
July 10th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

RE: 16, Isadora Girl, No I’m not Tinsley. I just think it’s a little ridiculous to attack Prickly City for a technique used in most strips of that genre. I also think lumping PC in with the far inferior Mallard Fillmore is pretty specious since about the only thing they have in common is the politics of the writers involved.
Lawyer Bob
July 10th, 2008 at 11:30 am [Reply]

It looks like Slylock Fox is making a guest appearance in Mary Worth, because I just played “Find the 6 Differences” between the palm trees on her shirt in panel one and the palm trees in panel two. So far, I’ve got the grass on the bottom, the distance between the trees, and the number of fronds. Thanks, MW, for that challenging change of pace!
Groovymarlin
July 10th, 2008 at 11:32 am [Reply]

#5 Paul1963: this was my response as well. Mary Worth! In a t-shirt! It’s got to be some sign of the apocalypse, right?

I must lay down now. I’m getting the vapors.
Windier E. Megatons
July 10th, 2008 at 11:33 am [Reply]

Ray looks like a crash test dummy. If I were Alan, I would dispose of him by putting him behind the wheel of a car – any cops out looking for drug users would just assume that Mercedes-Benz was doing some testing in the alley.
Niall
July 10th, 2008 at 11:36 am [Reply]

If I start appearing in A3G, I’m ending it all.
Pseydtonne
July 10th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

A scarier irony: Mary Worth knows we’re watching her. Otherwise she wouldn’t be wearing a knock-off Cassandra Cat shirt. Our cover has been blown.
Niall
July 10th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

18. Lawyer Bob: so, how is your sanity after staring at Mary Worth’s chest for more than two seconds?
StrangeRover
July 10th, 2008 at 11:37 am [Reply]

Josh: ” I can think of no crueler punishment that a sadistic creator could dish out.”

- oh, yeah? Try being the mint mocha chip frappuccino for a while.
Josh
July 10th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

Kids, play nice. I don’t care who started it, if you’re going to snipe each other over political stuff, take to the cockpit. If someone has something that irritates you politically and you feel like you just have to reply to it or they’ll win, trust me, you don’t, and they won’t.

Josh
StrangeRover
July 10th, 2008 at 11:45 am [Reply]

MW: OK kids. I know your collective mind is already blown, but check this – Mary is wearing a T-shirt DRESS. If I remember my eighties fashion correctly, that tiny little bit of something at her waistline in panel one is not the top of her jeans —– IT’S A BELT!

Down below: Legwarmers, baby!! (and jazz shoes).
Helena Handbasket
July 10th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

But Josh, someone is wrong on the internet!

(And it’s even comics-related!)
Carter
July 10th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

I don’t know about the rest of the country, but around here Mary’s thrift store vacation T would just scream “scenester.” It looks like she dealt with her drama by staying up til 3 AM to catch We Vs. The Shark play some afterparty. Now she’s got 30 minutes to speed-nurse a hangover and make it to her barista shift. Rock on, Mary.
gkl
July 10th, 2008 at 11:48 am [Reply]

MW: Dumped, Mary tries to dress like she’s 20. Tomorrow, she turns around and accidentally on purpose shows off her coin slot, ending the profession of “papparazzo” as every flash bulb in the universe simultaneously explodes in an attempt to end the horror.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2008 at 11:49 am [Reply]

MW – In panel three, Mary’s t-shirt looks like it’s stained by bullet wounds. Evidently her circulatory system is filled with Pepto-Bismol. Although I like to think of her as a Dream-cicle.
Jeffsterr
July 10th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

MW: Are those neon pot leaves on May’s tee-shirt? Is she jonesin’ for some munchies? Eew.
C’shaft: It’s called shilling,you skanky low life bitch.
Mac
July 10th, 2008 at 11:51 am [Reply]

Obviously, Mary is going to get her seafood at the Bum Boat (which sounds incredibly dirty, I know, I know) where she will run into Dr. Jeff, and the two non-lovers will be reunited, yada yada. And Dr. Jeff will be oh, so contrite even though he didn’t do anything wrong.
Helena Handbasket
July 10th, 2008 at 11:53 am [Reply]

This is another pleading pitch asking all you ‘mudgeons to watch my YouTube video to help give Mr. Handbasket and baby basket and I some extra money for our upcoming out-of-state move.
Matt Algren
July 10th, 2008 at 11:55 am [Reply]

I simply must have a black t-shirt with a hot pink palm tree on it!
McManx
July 10th, 2008 at 11:56 am [Reply]

MW — After all the snarky innuendo last week about “seafood” being code for sex, Mary’s dinner plans take on different tone. “Whip up dinner for myself”… “mood for seafood”… “scampi”? Sounds like Mary and the Engergizer Bunny are about to make beautiful music together…you scamps!

Phantom — This adventure has gone lame. Fights, but no skullmarked chins; marooned oil worker with fragmented backstory; fuel line mechanics with one giant wrench; leave without taking the castaway? Is this “Ghost-who-walks meets Gilligan’s Island”?

Cleats — A anthropomorphic soccer ball? What next? Tom Hanks sticking his head in and yelling “WIL-SON!!!” ?
kippetje2000
July 10th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

SF: They way everyone in this strip flashes the limp-wrist gang sign of Ted Forth, I’d say Ted was way more viral than virile.
mharvey816
July 10th, 2008 at 11:57 am [Reply]

Obviously, Mary is going to get her seafood at the Bum Boat (which sounds incredibly dirty, I know, I know) where she will run into Dr. Jeff, and the two non-lovers will be reunited, yada yada. And Dr. Jeff will be oh, so contrite even though he didn’t do anything wrong.

And it will take 2 freaking weeks to get the point where they are actually in the same place.
Hank
July 10th, 2008 at 12:00 pm [Reply]

RE: 25, Josh. Thanks, Josh. You said what I was trying to say, only better, namely, let’s keep the politically motivated snarks to a minimum. That’s why you’re the Pope of this here temple, I reckon.
Eric the Baker
July 10th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

I cried because I had lost a tooth, then I met a football (soccer ball) that had no mouth.
Dingo
July 10th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Helena, I love your singing. However, ladies do not sit like that unless they’re straddling a horse. What would Mary Worth say?
Lawyer Bob
July 10th, 2008 at 12:04 pm [Reply]

Niall.23–Ew. Ew. No, those are two differences I didn’t see.

StrangeRover.26–That’s not a t-shirt dress. That bit of blue at her waist in panel one is not a belt, it’s her jeans.

And now that I’ve just admitted that I was not only staring at Mary’s breasts but also ogling her crotch, I think I’ll crawl under the covers and sob uncontrollably.
sprocket23
July 10th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

Hmm, not only is Mary Worth wearing a knock-off Cassandra shirt, she is also striking a Cassandra pose. She’s watching us, folks, I’m telling you!

MT: I had all kinds of snarky comments in reply to: “Somehow we’ve got to get that old moose to do something besides stand there”, but they all involve the phrase “donkey show” so I just won’t.
lorne
July 10th, 2008 at 12:17 pm [Reply]

Perhaps Ray is The Yellow Kid, finally resurfacing from a long binge in the comics page gutter to smoke crack in Apartment 3G.
Hogenmogen
July 10th, 2008 at 12:33 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth is dancing, reminiscing about times when the Macarena was cool and she used to have sex all the time. Which is to say never.
Robert
July 10th, 2008 at 12:35 pm [Reply]

Mary is clearly not going to make the scampi for herself. She’s going to realize she doesn’t have the necessary ingredients, and head down to the Bum Boat, for an oh-my-God-what-a-surprise-I-could-not-have-foreseen-this encounter with Dr. Bob or Frank or whatever the hell her current beard is named.

If Cassandra had been alive in the modern era and had applied her powers to this comic, she would have blown her brains out. Which would be lucky, because she would then be spared the glacial nightmare that is the foob wedding.
Red Greenback
July 10th, 2008 at 12:44 pm [Reply]

So, you’re think about whipping up some “seafood” scampi, huh? Careful Mary, you’re getting dangerously close to Herb & Jamaal’s turf.
gh
July 10th, 2008 at 12:48 pm [Reply]

#46 Red Greenback –

OK, then. Tuna fish scampi. Happy now?
Calico
July 10th, 2008 at 12:51 pm [Reply]

MW – *Sigh* – “I guess I’ll just stay inside and whip myself.”
Paolaccio
July 10th, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

There’s something… I don’t know, it’s… ok, HOW DOES A SOCCER BALL ORDER A FROTHY COFFEE DRINK? With what does it pay, and how – in the name of God the Creator! – does it get the drink BACK onto the field from Fourbucks or wherever?!?

Sigh. I must rest.
Red Greenback
July 10th, 2008 at 12:56 pm [Reply]

Yes gh, much better, thank you. I just expect more ~~specicifi..~~ ~~specificicy~~ people to pinpoint exactly what they want in the Mary Worth cartoons.
Professor Fate
July 10th, 2008 at 1:00 pm [Reply]

FOOB: a) That has got to be the Ugliest I have ever seen Elly Drawn – just hedious. That it totaly undercuts what she’s saying just adds to the ugliness.

Liz: forget the wine – the only way anybody is going to be able to get through this nightmare is with vodka and lots of it. Like big gallon bottles on ice.

FW: It beggers the imagination that the guy has been a coach in high school for as many years as it takes to look like Funky Winkerbean and never did anything with the girls softball league – especially since women aren’t allowed to manage. This would be maginally funny if Les was doing this ‘because he wanted to be closer to his daughter’ but not much – this way, well it proves that Tom is just an utter hack – wthout even Lynn’s story telling skills.
Niall
July 10th, 2008 at 1:01 pm [Reply]

45. Robert: what powers does Cassandra have then?
La Texana
July 10th, 2008 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

No, No, No. MW’s t-shirt is from the gift shop at the Mirage; that trip to Vegas that she drinks to forget when Siegfreid and Roy were nearly “torn apart” permanently.
Steve the Pocket
July 10th, 2008 at 1:02 pm [Reply]

Unrelated to anything current, but I was at a thrift store this morning and discovered, hanging at the checkout counter, pairs of socks featuring characters from several “classic” strips that I’d never seen any merchandise for before: Hagar the Horrible, Dennis the Menace, Blondie, and Beetle Bailey. I wish I’d had some type of camera with me so I could show y’all, but with any luck they’ll still be there by the next time I go.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 10th, 2008 at 1:03 pm [Reply]

Prophecy, Niall.
Schorsch
July 10th, 2008 at 1:06 pm [Reply]

Who has the ingredients for seafood scampi on hand?

What sort of fantasy land is this Charterstone?
gh
July 10th, 2008 at 1:11 pm [Reply]

#50 Red Greenback –

I just expect . . . people to pinpoint exactly what they want in the Mary Worth cartoons.

I thought that’s what we had Dingo for.
Paolaccio
July 10th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

If she isn’t even clear on the main ingredient, Schorsch, everything else probably comes out of a packet. “Seafood” scampi? What the hell’s on for tomorrow – “meat” stroganoff?
Patrick
July 10th, 2008 at 1:16 pm [Reply]

We’ve gone from watching Mary interact with other people to Mary listening to her answering machine messages to Mary standing in the kitchen thinking about what kind of food she’d like to eat.

I expect next week, we’ll just have panels of Mary sitting in a chair, staring into space, without any speech, thought, or movement.

It’d be an improvement, really.
Tweeks_Coffee
July 10th, 2008 at 1:20 pm [Reply]

When was the last time Mary left her sad little condo anyway? I can’t remember the last time she actually saw someone face-to-face. Was it when Toby was there babbling on while Mary fondled roses? How the heck long ago was that?
bats :[
July 10th, 2008 at 1:23 pm [Reply]

Yesterthread:

Gabacho: best wishes on YOUR upcoming nuptials! It sounds a lot more fun than you-know-who’s wedding from hell. (I also liked capping off your intensive wedding planning with a trip to the beach…maybe if Liz could do something like this and find a “snorkel-buddy” out there, things might turn out differently.)

Dingo: there are so many illegal immigrant “drop houses” in my neck of the desert, the only thing that keeps some basements from being full of cute Mexicans is the fact that most houses here don’t have basements…

Todaythread:

54. steve the pocket: WHAT?!? You didn’t buy them?

MW: aha, I figured it out! Mary dug up that t-shirt from her rag-bag in the laundry room, a memory of the last time she was Truly Happy: an 80s Pable Cruise concert.
(But La Texana, your thought is a good one, too!)

I’d like to see Mary head down to the Bum Boat, but doesn’t that place close at 8 PM or so? I’m hoping not, just so she can discover, Ron and Jeff in a secluded booth, not planning their revenge, but in a hot ‘n’ buttery clinch (funny thing, neither of them ordered the lobster).
“Drat,” fumed Mary silently as she observed the elderly, hoplitic debacle, “where are the paparazzi when you really need them?”
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 10th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

Imagine seeing the entirety of the foob-future laid out before you in a single glistening, oozing ropey stream, vomit snaking across the black velvet of the infinite possible worlds, as if a lone figure – a tottering, deteriorating Canadian woman, perhaps – had already tramped across it, engaging periodically in the metaphysical equivalent of very colorful extra-spicy-curry-washed-down-with-pints-of-liquor-whoops! binges at frequent points in her nearly Brownian wanderings.

That sort of thing, I believe Robert is saying, would make escape – the soonest possible – the only sane choice.
man behind the curtain
July 10th, 2008 at 1:24 pm [Reply]

Everything you need to know about seaood scampi

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-seafood-scampi.htm
Calico
July 10th, 2008 at 1:25 pm [Reply]

#54 – What, no Mary Worth socks?
What a shame.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

9CL – Nice blame-shifting, Edda. ‘Dja learn that from the Patterfoobs?

A3G – Vin Diesel?

AS – How fucking hard is it to draw a moth that actually looks like a moth? This thing is like Mr. Butts from Doonesbury wearing some sort of space-age carbon-rod wing framework. Although maybe it’s just that the whole thing is completely covered in halftone. Maybe underneath that obscuring layer of dots, it’s the best damn moth drawing ever, but from this reader’s perspective, it looks like it was drawn by a flipper baby.

A.D. – This is…strange…

Baldo – That’s it. I’m done here. So long, Baldo. I gave you a couple months to impress me, and the only thing that’s been impressed upon me is how willing you are to play into every stupid stereotype imaginable. It was just charming yesterday when you accused white people of scheming race panic (how dare they be offended by government-sanctioned racial preferences,) and I’m sure today’s installment is equally endearing to black people and “their candidate.” Never seem to negatively stereotype the Hispanics, though, do you?

BB – Now my brain is going to break while trying to comprehend what that means.

Crankshaft – Given that you bullied her into selling it in the first place, it’s hardly surprising that she’s trying to buy it back, you asshole.

Curtis – “T’drive?” What, did we take a left turn into Pogo all of a sudden?

FOOB – “I just wanted it to be simple! That’s why we had to hire a caterer instead of just making some simple dishes or having a potluck!” Good gravy, Liz, either quit bitching about things being complicated or stop trying to pretend you’re having a “simple” wedding. The gal in my church who did an outdoor ceremony at a park in Duluth, wearing hippie clothes and with a mountain of Twinkies in place of a cake? That’s simple. You’re going for something big enough to where the stress has turned you into Moai Whoopie Goldberg in panel four.

HTH – Oh God, not again.

JP – Mmm, even when most of the strip is taken up by Sam, Baretto always manages to slip something worth looking at in.

Luann – Stop toying with us, Evans. We all know that’s never going to happen in a family strip, especially one that goes to great lengths to make it clear that Brad is in no way rooming with a hot woman who is inexplicably interested in him.

MT – It looks like my wish is being fulfilled: Kelly is going to keep upping the ante until Mark has to fly Air Goose over to the campsite and punch out that mountain lion that showed up the other day. Sweet.

MW – NEXT! Mary’s thrilling dinner preparations! …so help me out here, guys: is this hot-pink-on-black-hole-black palm shirt more or less off-putting than Mary’s usual lavender pantsuits?

OBH – Actually, that is pretty funny.

Pluggers – um i actually chuckled at today’s pluggers i’m rather ashamed

Popeye – When was that? Why wasn’t I reading this strip then? That would’ve been hilarious.

SF – Haha, rock on, Ted. And Ces.

SM – Um, I’m actually pretty sure that (A) subway tunnels aren’t just holes drilled into the dirt and (B) they don’t open through manholes. Also, I’m willing to bet they don’t use wooden cross-ties anymore. But who knows? Maybe the Vulture is just robbing a theme park.
Calico
July 10th, 2008 at 1:27 pm [Reply]

#61 – Ron and Jeff simply have to Work it like a Claw.
Froborr
July 10th, 2008 at 1:28 pm [Reply]

59. Patrick: That would actually be awesome. Mary has some kind of momentous decision to make, like whether or not she’s going to murder Prof. Neckbeard and eat his brain, and for an *entire week* Mon-Fri she just sits in a chair, staring into space, no dialogue or thought balloons, just the same panel copy-and-pasted over and over again. Then on Saturday we get two panels of copy-and-paste and the third panel is her standing up and saying “OK”.

Triply awesome if she’s wearing a hideous t-shirt.
gh
July 10th, 2008 at 1:30 pm [Reply]

#58 Paolaccio –

Yes. Meat stroganoff. With a bowl of tossed vegetable leaves and a glass of fine alcohol.
Red Greenback
July 10th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

#50-me: Sorry, hit “post” before I was done. What I meant was “I expect the characters in that soap strip that features an elderly busybody where the action takes place in and around the environs of a condominium complex to be more specific in their words and thoughts. Carry on.
Donald The Anarchist
July 10th, 2008 at 1:31 pm [Reply]

MW So Mary uses food to comfort herself when she’s depressed. I think this calls for a meddle. Oh, Toby!

Cleats I wonder what he’d wish for if he had, oh let’s see, a copy of Hustler. Probably eyes, I’m guessing.

A3G I just hope that isn’t Marcellus Wallace’s wife. Because I would be FORCED to tell him that you threw his wife into an alley when he/she was ODing! (Damn, this would work so much better if it was a female ODing. How about, “It’s alright, I’ll call you a cab.”)
gh
July 10th, 2008 at 1:36 pm [Reply]

#69 Two ColorsPosition –

Duly noted.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2008 at 1:41 pm [Reply]

9CL

Oh please make it stop. It’s time for an intervention from the kids’ old spiritual leader the Mother Superior and her time honored tricks for resolving this kind of nonsense. Once she spanks some sense into Edda, everyone else will click back into place with a depiction of PG-13 pent up ardor. A week or two of this resolution might make the past month all worth ir. Or maybe not.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2008 at 1:43 pm [Reply]

#61 bats :[

haha. I was thinking Pablo Cruise tour t-shirt, too. (Try saying “tour t-shirt, too” 5x fast.) But it’s probably just a Miami Sound Machine t-shirt. Or, maybe, a “Spring Break ‘84: South Padre Island!” t-shirt. At least she’s not wearing her favorite pink halter-top she got on her trip to Tiajuana.

Didn’t Scampi turn states-evidence against Gambino? What a shrimp!
Perky Bird
July 10th, 2008 at 1:44 pm [Reply]

“Somehow we’ve got to get that old moose to do something besides just stand there!”

Kelly Welly is obviously wishing the Mary Worth plotline would speed up.
Andy Panderer
July 10th, 2008 at 1:45 pm [Reply]

RE: #17

Well, that and the fact that they suck.
Niall
July 10th, 2008 at 1:49 pm [Reply]

Whoops, I typed all kinds of things for yesterthread when it was still active but never posted it…

Y-157. Mibbitmaker: 7/10 split? I hadn’t even realised. I guess I have to go bowling today then. :)

Y-163. Mibbitmaker: on My Cage, I saw it more as Jeff tossing out platitudes in anger – and calling what he knows of himself, not his gender in general. Projecting. Though he’d probably be right about Rex, but no other regular males in the strip.

Y-170. MWDG – not only clip-art, but not the same clip-art in both panels!

Y-183. Tweeks: I doubt MC will have a Maureen/Jeff, but that it even contemplates going there shows its willingness to go where 99% of syndicated strips fear to go, and how awesome it is for it. :)

A few people talked about Heart of the City, so I checked out the last week’s, and found the July 4 one. And now I understand the term “bottle rocket”. No, fireworks are not as big a thing where I grew up, and we bought some only once, and they were all the “put down and light” kind that did things in a small radius on the ground. Oh, and the movie she’s seeing is clearly Wall-E, yet they identify all the others by name? Shame. :)
Jay
July 10th, 2008 at 1:50 pm [Reply]

Wow. Today’s Mary Worth has no point other than to showcase that hot pink screen-printed graphic.

Also, her pose in the first panel looks like she’s trying to be sexy. I’m very worried.
CanuckDownSouth
July 10th, 2008 at 1:52 pm [Reply]

and a big ‘what the boxcar?!’ to Edison Lee this morning. Bilingual designer babies? bilingual? I suppose all those kids in immersion and remedial language programs learning ESL (or any other SL) are just hosed if they don’t have the special gene for bilingualism.

Genetics. Does. Not. Work. That. Way. Neither does language acquisition.

I should just chalk it up to tBMoEL’s usual level of science/ tech awareness, but it’s juxtaposed with two reasonably genetic traits – eye colour and a “good” throwing arm (so not a trained capacity for baseball).
Art Vandelay
July 10th, 2008 at 1:54 pm [Reply]

In today’s Archie, who is the burly 60-year-old playing left field for Riverdale High? Is it Greg Luzinski? Brian Dennehy? Dick Cheney?
Andy Panderer
July 10th, 2008 at 1:56 pm [Reply]

Todays FC is obviously a follow-up to the filth-eating exercise of the other day.
bats :[
July 10th, 2008 at 1:59 pm [Reply]

74. Perky Bird: HAH!

65. commodorejohn: I’d just doodled this (or whatever the hell the PhotoShop equivalent of doodling is) for my own eddafication (HAH!), but yeah, I’m so tired of the storyline, I usually don’t read except to catch up every five days or so:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2655631473/sizes/o/

(It would be nice to speculate on a possible reunion when “soiled goods” comes into play…)
Des Olu
July 10th, 2008 at 2:02 pm [Reply]

Oh God, please give us a full lenght view of Mary with that T-shirt, I know she has to be wearing an awesome pair of stirrup pants and jelly shoes….
Paul1963
July 10th, 2008 at 2:13 pm [Reply]

#9 Dingo: I so didn’t need that image in my head.
Marthas Rolling Pin
July 10th, 2008 at 2:17 pm [Reply]

Think that Gil has yet again missed the playdownoffs? Behold, The Milford Miracle
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 2:22 pm [Reply]

#76 Niall – Yeah, it’s nice to see My Cage finally calling this trope out for the pile of horse-puckey it is. I mean, I’m a nerd myself, but that doesn’t mean I think I’m deserving of being lavished with affection from some dream girl just for being such a [wonderful | fascinating | intelligent] person with no effort on my part; that’s friggin’ FOOB material.

#81 bats :[ – Ah-yep. One thing I wonder, though: why is Isabel portrayed as such a bitch, when Drusilla, who’s basically the same character with bat-wings, is Pibgorn’s embodiment of sexy-awesome? It’s like Brooke’s writing from two different personalities or something.
Muffaroo
July 10th, 2008 at 2:24 pm [Reply]

MW – I keep waiting to see flashes of the old Mary Worth! The one who said, “What psychology? A daily bop on the button keeps that boob in line!”

(Note: the rest of the article this is from, and all the other pages left out of the MAD CD-ROM set, can be found here.

(The other strips on the page are two all-time favorites of mine. Mort Walker’s soap strip! Mel Lazarus subs for Milt Caniff!) (Doug Gilford’s MAD pages are a good resource for some entertaining wasted time — try the links at the top of the page.)
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 2:26 pm [Reply]

#76 Niall – Oh, and re: Mary Worth – that’s not quite fair. It is clipart, but the reason for the altered angle between the trees in panel two has to do with the cavernous gap between Mary’s wrinkled, sagging sweater-bloodhounds.
ScienceGiant
July 10th, 2008 at 2:29 pm [Reply]

I wonder if Mary Worth will open her refrigerator and find that stupid 50 pound bag of dogfood she bought. Because as Snoopys says “It’s impossible to eat dogfood when your stomach is set on shrimp.”
GunStreetGirl
July 10th, 2008 at 2:42 pm [Reply]

Cleats: Looks like a certain soccer ball is shilling for a certain coffee company’s summer beverage…
Helena Handbasket
July 10th, 2008 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

#40 Dingo: Trick question; Mary Worth only approves of riding side-saddle.
Sorako-chan
July 10th, 2008 at 2:43 pm [Reply]

“The Adventures of Alan- The Delightfully Incompetent Drug Dealer” would make a great spin-off strip. It would certainly be more interesting than the current plot[s] of Apartment 3-G, and leagues ahead of Spider-man.
gnome de blog
July 10th, 2008 at 3:06 pm [Reply]

#58, Paolaccio (Buona sera, Paolaccio, come sta?) said:

“Seafood” scampi? What the hell’s on for tomorrow – “meat” stroganoff?

More likely “meat” pork, to keep the analogy exact.
Pozzo
July 10th, 2008 at 3:17 pm [Reply]

Methinks the “Cleats” cartoonist is having flashbacks to a half-remembered production of Sartre’s “No Exit” that he saw in college.
T. Chicana
July 10th, 2008 at 3:30 pm [Reply]

Crankshaft: Now why would the elderly lady whose belongings are being auctioned off as if she is dead have to be present at the auction?! Did Idiot Damaged-Goods Windshield Glasses Boy make her go? Or did she insist on being there?
Thanks, Batiuk, for another heapin’ helpin’ of MISERABLE.
zenvelo
July 10th, 2008 at 3:35 pm [Reply]

#9 Dingo- more information about the use of pearls as reins can be found on the internet….
Salvor Hardin
July 10th, 2008 at 3:38 pm [Reply]

Cleats: I have no mouth and I must scream. Thank you, Harlan Ellison!
Mibbitmaker
July 10th, 2008 at 3:40 pm [Reply]

#85 (commodorejohn): That’s because Isabel’s bitchy (or, as I call it, 9CL woman character being deeply in love with her own perceived “power”) portrayal IS the embodiment of sexy-awesome to McEldowney.

Yesterthread, some of y’all* were planning to send Lynn J some ceramic swans based on the Lizthony nuptuals. Well, I keep trying to get a ceramic swan, but every time I do, some drunk woman named Rita keeps breaking them into bits. Damnedest thing.

*I’m a life-long New Englander, that just “sounded” right to me.
AhClem
July 10th, 2008 at 3:41 pm [Reply]

#65 commodorejohn -
That is indeed a theme park in S-M, not a subway. To be more specific, it’s Disneyland. 2 or 3 minutes of “It’s a Small World After All” at 90 dB should be more than enough to put the Vulture away permanently.
Sequitur
July 10th, 2008 at 3:46 pm [Reply]

*Sigh*
Where is Norb now that we need him.

http://www.toonopedia.com/norb.htm
Justafoob
July 10th, 2008 at 3:48 pm [Reply]

C’mon Mibbitmaker, we can all spring for a dollar store set of swans and the postage to send it north.

We need to take a stand.

We are mad as hell and we are going to send you swans!

c’mon, all of you

We are mad as hell and we are going to send you swans!

We are not going to take this sitting down at our computers or with the daily funnies in front of us blocking a nice plate of prime rib.

WE ARE MAD AS HELL AND WE ARE GOING TO SEND YOU SWANS!!

well, will you look at that, it is time for my medication….excuse me
Niall
July 10th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

I realised I was missing an important entry in my Ireland trip report, so I modified my URL above to point to it now, and linked it with the rest since it was the true start. :)
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 3:51 pm [Reply]

#98 AhClem – *shudder* That poor, poor bastard…
Mibbitmaker
July 10th, 2008 at 3:52 pm [Reply]

Cleats: The soccer ball is experiencing the same thing that plagued fellow comic character Henry for decades — until he discovered that he could drink stuff through that giant cleft in his chin using a straw.

The ball’s situation reminds one of the hell Cathy goes through whenever she has a cold! Or wants to smell flowers.
shane
July 10th, 2008 at 3:54 pm [Reply]

I’m pretty sure that Shandyowl is actually a robot named Jules, posing as a fleshy-one for his own purposes.

http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/androids/jules3.jpg
Perky Bird
July 10th, 2008 at 3:55 pm [Reply]

In about half an hour, I’ll be catching the Metro to go home. I sure as hell hope my train won’t be delayed by some idiot in a green feathered suit who’s flying down the tracks. I can just see the Metro employees chasing him around with brooms and pillowcases, as if he’s a wayward sparrow who flew in through the patio door…
cheech wizard
July 10th, 2008 at 3:56 pm [Reply]

Big Dog – Looks like Marmaduke’s learned a lot from his owner – he’s getting the dogs all riled up to take back the village park and start rounding up all the cats for deportation.

Phantom – He’s not hurting anyone? What do you think the big pipe wrench is for? Maybe you ought to check inside those man-size lockers behind you before jumping to any conclusions.

Cleats – At first, I thought the soccer ball was talking to the frappucino! How are we supposed to keep track of which is a character and which isn’t? It’s like Pluggers, only with inanimate objects instead of dogs and chickens.

FOOB – Liz is finally acting like a real person – all she can think of is having a drink.

Pluggers – It’s not a hybrid, the word is “chimera” – which is pretty appropriate for Pluggers, come to think of it.

DtM – Those demure little smiles on Margaret and Gina tell me these kids are just trying to get in the front door – where they’ll hogtie the Wilsons, steal their valuables and write “Helter Skelter” on the walls with their blood.

MW – I’ve had a very hard time with this whole “Mary Worth as the wrinkly, unlubricated object of masculine desire” business that’s been going on since Aldo. The shorts were bad enough but today in Panel 1 she gives us the “strumpet pose” previously limited to hash-house waitresses in the old Judge Parker. So help me god, if Giella and Moy give us Mary bending over in a low-cut top to flash us all, I’m burning my computer.

Pibgorn (Wednesday) – Buggery. That’s what it is, plain and simple. Flat-out buggery. Let’s get back to the nekkid demon chicks, please.
spike
July 10th, 2008 at 4:02 pm [Reply]

#59 Patrick: LOL! A Samuel BeckettEugene Ionescu collaboration of MW.

MW: In a situation where Mary really needs to make “comfort food”–y’know, something like her signature dish– casserole, she decides to “whip up” something really complicated. I know, everybody always has a few pounds of seafood just sitting in their refrigerators, just waiting to be used for such an emergency…
Mibbitmaker
July 10th, 2008 at 4:09 pm [Reply]

#100 (JustaFoob): Okay, but be careful — the aforementioned Ritzilla is planning to travel to FOOBville with swanicide on her mind. I’d get her old buddy Mary to stop her, but she’s too busy making seafood scampi to care right now, I’m afraid. (Huh! Some meddler!)

And it’s no help that MT’s Kelly Welly plans to take pictures of the whole thing. What is with her, anyway? (Let me introduce you ladies — Kelly, Ellie; Ellie, Kelly Welly…)

Hey, I know! Let’s hope Kelly will end up being the wedding photographer. We may stop this marriage yet!
Orange Doorhinge
July 10th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

A3G: Margo’s mom overwhelmed by the “Evil” at the gallery. I couldn’t be Alan & his little pals, they are overwhelmingly stupid, not evil. Sooo! It must be Luann’s horrible paintings. Didn’t one jump off the wall & try to kill Margo’s Mom?

MW: I LIKE the t-shirt, it reminds me of a dress I once owned, plack with palm trees. YIKES! Am I, too, becoming a comic character?
Ned Ryerson
July 10th, 2008 at 4:18 pm [Reply]

Could this be the beginning of Mary Worth’s black t-shirt phase?

Maybe she’ll join a gang.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2008 at 4:35 pm [Reply]

luann – while mary worth finds it a good morning to wear an old concert t-shirt, it’s tube-top-time for tiffany.
Orange Doorhinge
July 10th, 2008 at 4:36 pm [Reply]

My typing is getting worse every day. I meant IT can’t be Alan, etc. and my dress was BLACK with palm trees. I even have a photo on my computer, but I can’t find it at the moment.
bats :[
July 10th, 2008 at 4:43 pm [Reply]

110. Ned Ryerson: great work!

108. Mibbitmaker: I second the nomination for Kelly Welly at the Foob photographer! Maybe SHE can make them “do something”…say “I love you”, eat like decent human beings, have sex…
denny
July 10th, 2008 at 4:59 pm [Reply]

MW, Unrated:

Panel 1: They can put a man – and only a man – on the moon, but they can’t make a deodorant that works past noon…

Panel 2: Hey! That rhymes! I should be on guard against that sort of thing.

MW, Director’s Cut:

Panel 1: Sigh … now who can I show my 24″ pythons to? YEAAAAAHHH! HOOO!

Panel 2: I think I have some shrimp scampi … with ‘Roid sauce! But let me pop this zit first… YEAAAAAHH! HOOOOOOOO!

MW, Theatrical Release:

Panel 1: I’m a little tea pot…

Panel 2: Crush your head! Crush you! CRUSH YOU!
denny
July 10th, 2008 at 5:01 pm [Reply]

110: Isn’t she already the leader of the Westside Meddlers? REPRESENT SUCKAS!
Messy
July 10th, 2008 at 5:11 pm [Reply]
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2008 at 5:12 pm [Reply]

Hey, Mark Trail fans – Isn’t Kelly Welly sleeping with the editor of the wildlife magazine where Mark works or something? Wasn’t she first seen as his post-divorce, younger, girlfriend and went on a fishing trip with him, Mark, & Cherry? Am I remembering my MT lore correctly?

That might explain why someone who knows nothing about wildlife or photography (she brings a photographer with her? maybe she just writes illuminating prose about wildlife – “It was ever so moving to be near the majestic moutain lioness while she devoured our guide”) would have that job, right? I know I should be paying closer attention but I get distracted by all of the critters in this strip. *Damn, that’s a true moose!*
Messy
July 10th, 2008 at 5:14 pm [Reply]

http://derrickbostrom.com/bostrom/wp-content/news80s/backfire.jpg
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 5:15 pm [Reply]

#116 Messy – Boy did that brighten my day.
Trouser Tent
July 10th, 2008 at 5:21 pm [Reply]

Alan is the first drug dealer I’ve ever known to have worn a poly blend button down that has been freshly pressed. I was really hoping he would invest in a purple suit with faux cheetah fur lapels and spats.
Froborr
July 10th, 2008 at 5:24 pm [Reply]

@120. Trouser Tent: I’m pretty sure, given the current trend, that’s what Mary Worth’s going to be wearing tomorrow.
Jeff
July 10th, 2008 at 5:37 pm [Reply]

Sfx — Never mind the skunk, I suspect there is a shark in the pool. Just look at that kid it spit out on the right side of the scene!
Uncle Lumpy
July 10th, 2008 at 5:39 pm [Reply]

In the blackness of her despair, Mary Worth turns to seafood, convinced she no longer merits a-food or even b-food.
Anonymous
July 10th, 2008 at 5:55 pm [Reply]

65 – re: Baldo

Be offended all you want, but I don’t think you really say that a strip whose main character is a young Hispanic whose primary goal in life is to own a tricked-out low-rider ‘64 Impala never stereotypes Hispanics.
Tom
July 10th, 2008 at 5:58 pm [Reply]

Resigned to an evening home alone, Mary Worth resolves to relax with a fine hogshead of porter and casual attire. Throwing all caution to the wind, she cooks sans bra, hoping that her bosoms — moving and shifting beneath the black cotton t-shirt like a pair of restless hams — will give her shirt the sensuous appearance of trees blowing in a gentle wind.

Unfortunately, Mary has not factored in the merciless ravages of time and gravity and, while the gentle palm fronds remain still as stone, the lower halves of their trunks and root systems heave and shake like a Frisco earthquake.

After gently nibbling an especially tender and flavorful niblet of “generic seafood” scampi, Mary gets so excited that onlookers, if there were any, would think a pair of gophers had suddenly popped their wee heads up among the grasses.

“You put the lime in the coconut,” Mary sighs, heavily, “and drink it all up.”
That's Dr. Dick Cory to you
July 10th, 2008 at 6:02 pm [Reply]

First time poster. Love the site, and sadly after about 5 solid months of slacking at work, I have read every archive. Now I know the pain that is waiting till 3 to have Ziggy mocked. Poor pathetic me.

Anywho, This Mills character is the man! Who else (Aside from Tom Cruise) could spend every waking moment inside a closet and never be found out?

Side question…Is Lu Ann still his girlfriend? If so, she is the coolest/stupidest girlfriend around. He’s been smoking crack for 5 straight months, and she’s never once asked why he doesn’t call.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 6:03 pm [Reply]

#124 Anonymous – Is that a Hispanic stereotype? That bit just seemed like a normal teenage-boy ambition to me, but then I’ve always been a sucker for late-50s-early-60s Chevys.
That\'s Dr. Dick Cory to you
July 10th, 2008 at 6:06 pm [Reply]

Wasn’t TJ a doofus no more than a week ago? Now he’s water cooler (fountain) conversation at the local high school? I guess being Nathan Detroit has it’s advantages.

The one time I stepped out in a zoot suit in an attempt to impress high schoolers, I spent the night in prison.
queek
July 10th, 2008 at 6:07 pm [Reply]

106: not even Ed and Al could help that chimera.
*strikes Major Anderson pose*

also, Cleats has weeks where the conversation is all between various pieces of sports equipment, so this arc isn’t really that out of bounds.
That's Dr. Dick Cory to you
July 10th, 2008 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

Also, this may be the first blog I’ve ever read that never devolves into moronic arguments and name calling.

Maybe because we all understand that we’re blogging about comics…Or maybe we’re just not tough.

Comics readers are a cowardly lot.
CanuckDownSouth
July 10th, 2008 at 6:09 pm [Reply]

FOOB The real reason Liz should be stressed out now, BTW, is that she’s supposed to be getting ready to be a bridesmaid at her friend DAWN’s wedding, not planning her own (see last year’s “telling, not showing” moment about Dawn’s life here).

Of course, since the Pattersons are The Bestest People Ever, I’m sure that Dawn and David gleefully postponed their plans another year, eating large deposits to their caterer and site, for the privilege of basking in the glow of the FOOB nuptials.

Has anyone ever told LJ about this concept called “continuity”?
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 6:10 pm [Reply]

#127 me – Also, I didn’t say “never stereotypes,” I said “never negatively stereotypes.” Yeah, there’s some “ha ha, Catholic aunt who interjects in Spanish” gags of approximately the same level as Apartment 3-G’s Gabriella, but that just doesn’t compare to depicting white people as inciters of race panic and against affirmative action ony because they aren’t in on it and suggesting that black people are too attached to their victim status to rise above it.
That\'s Dr. Dick Cory to you
July 10th, 2008 at 6:13 pm [Reply]

If a soccer ball wearing a gardening hat is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 6:14 pm [Reply]

#131 CanuckDownSouth – The last time someone brought up the concept of “continuity” to the Great Hack of the North, she proceeded to engage in angry sarcasm at the idea that anyone would dare question her greatness.
Johnson Delegate
July 10th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

Mary Worth’s clothes seem to have been designed using Windows ‘93. The pantsuits are lazily colored-in with the bucket tool from MS Paint, whereas the T-shirts feature a combination of bucket tool and clipart (itself colored-in using the bucket tool).
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2008 at 6:19 pm [Reply]

#130 That’s Dr. Dick Cory to you
I’d take offense to that and give you some hell…except you may live locally and know who I am. So. Sure, sounds about right. Why not?

#125 Tom
Very nice. Do you write erotic fiction profesionally? Sell many paperbacks in Santa Royale? Maybe you could put Fabio on the cover with Angela Lansbury or Florence Henderson.
CanuckDownSouth
July 10th, 2008 at 6:22 pm [Reply]

comodorejohn-134: I pretty much figured that was the case, but one can always hope for the best – that it’s merely ignorance of a useful storytelling tool, a continuity timeline/ file/ book. I gave up on FOOB continuity when Laurence’s dad got retconned from “returned to Brazil after the divorce” pre-strip to “never knew he had a love-child”.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2008 at 6:26 pm [Reply]

Mmm. Brine & Plankton Scampi! That’s seafood! Does Mary rely on a mix like B & P Helper, or does she keep all of the ingredience handy for just such a lonely and depressing moment? Is it flakey or chunky? What am I talking about?
Invisible Me
July 10th, 2008 at 6:28 pm [Reply]

#56 – I do, in the freezer. Seafood Scampi
cheech wizard
July 10th, 2008 at 6:44 pm [Reply]

FC – This would be much better if, instead of Grandma, it was Dead Grandpa assailing Jeffy’s guilty conscience. It would also explain a lot about this comic strip in general.
Poteet
July 10th, 2008 at 6:55 pm [Reply]

Shandyowl, thanks for sharing. I’m agog.
mojo
July 10th, 2008 at 6:57 pm [Reply]

Far be it for me to correct the master, but Mary Worth wasn’t “dumped”. Mary Worth was “Gee, Mary, during our time together I’ve found that I greatly prefer the daily tedium of wallowing hip-deep in small town bureaucracy–listening to petty morons narc out their neighbors when they don’t mow their lawns properly–to spending any more time with the likes of you” ‘d.

That’s gotta hurt, even by Mary Worth standards.
Poteet
July 10th, 2008 at 7:00 pm [Reply]

#5 Paul1963 — Well, not quite like most people. Her shirt has shape-shifting trees that freak me out. My own trees do a little shifting when I change positions, but not like THAT.
Violet
July 10th, 2008 at 7:10 pm [Reply]

If today’s Judge Parker is any indication, that book is going to be a real page-turner.
AeroSquid
July 10th, 2008 at 7:17 pm [Reply]

The Poor Man’s Sea food Scampi:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3199/2656385295_c2f4546ecc_o.jpg
Jamus The Bartender
July 10th, 2008 at 7:19 pm [Reply]

9CL: I am really beginning to dislike these people. A lot. America’s infrastructure is crumbling, there are little children in the Middle East who think it’s a good day if they don’t get shot or step on a landmine, and California is on fire. But Edda has the time and energy to blame all her problems on the Dragon Lady, and both of them have sweet, sweet asses….and…dammit, I hate myself.
Dick Tracy: Showed this strip to Cassandra. She hopped up on the dresser and put her ears back and didn’t come down until suppertime. I think i’ve found a cure for her sticky-fingers.
FOOB: It’s called a wet bar. And….I can’t believe i’m saying this….I should be available for the happy occasion. I’ll keep a tab open.
Luann: Yeah, I was wondering when someone would figure it out. Leave it to Luann’s BFF to speak truth to power. Show, don’t tell, Evans. Comics are a visual medium. And make Luann wear lacy pink panties on Sunday.
My Cage: This could turn out to be cool for both of them. Sure, Jeff doesn’t pull in the bucks Maureen was looking for, but….she has a kid, he has a kid. And…well….how do I put this….Maureen’s not getting any younger, and botox costs.
Jamus The Bartender
July 10th, 2008 at 7:23 pm [Reply]

42. Oh. My. God.
You’re right Sprocket, she is.
Jamus The Bartender
July 10th, 2008 at 7:26 pm [Reply]

52. Slinking through laser beams and opening safes. You know that, Niall.
No…really, it’s prophecy. She said if I kept drooling over Luann again this summer, there would be no sex for Jamus. And damned if she wasn’t right.
Jamus The Bartender
July 10th, 2008 at 7:31 pm [Reply]

131. I think it was DC Comics. That place is really messed up right now…
Sheila Sternwell
July 10th, 2008 at 7:42 pm [Reply]

#14 Don in MO – If Batiuk gets hold of it, yes, yes it could get cancer.

#49 Paolaccio – I figure the kids gave the ball the hat and drink to keep it cool during the halftime. That at least makes the strip somewhat amusing.

#58 Pao – Doesn’t the word “scampi” mean shrimp? All I remember is a flame war on a cooking group about a recipe for chicken scampi (which I’ve made, and is very yum) and how you JUST CAN’T DO THAT BECAUSE OMG SCAMPI MEANS SHRIMP. Okay, I have to stop this line of thought because now I’m having flashbacks. If you guys think knitting forums are wanky, you wouldn’t believe how bad cooking forum posters can be.
Sargon
July 10th, 2008 at 7:44 pm [Reply]

131: Oh my god in that link they’re blinking. That is the freakiest thing I have seen in a good while. Do they do that for all the strips they post on the main FOOB site? If so, I’m never going there again.
bats :[
July 10th, 2008 at 7:46 pm [Reply]

145. AeroSquid: okay, you win.
(Then again, any caption that uses “sammich” in it makes me go into hysterics. “Fishstick” doesn’t help, either.)

146. Jamus re FOOB: aw, come on! You enjoy a good train-wreck as much as the next guy!
Sheila Sternwell
July 10th, 2008 at 7:52 pm [Reply]

#127 commodorejohn – I’m not anonymous, but yes, the tricked out low-rider thing is a stereotype. It certainly would qualify as being comparable to everything else on your list.

And let’s not go down the “sure, it’s kind of racist to people of color, but that thing about white people was the REAL racism” path, shall we?
Jamus The Bartender
July 10th, 2008 at 7:55 pm [Reply]

152. That’s a fact, bats. I’m afraid there’s no way I can get out of this one. And a certain kitty with stickyfingers is gonna want to come along and get some ideas…
Muffaroo
July 10th, 2008 at 7:56 pm [Reply]

Zoot suit? That’s no zoot suit. That’s just a suit with a black shirt under it. This is a zoot suit. Note the hat, the chain, the reet pleat, the stuff cuff, the drape shape.

Please! Zoot suit. Pffft.
AeroSquid
July 10th, 2008 at 8:01 pm [Reply]

152. bats :[ Thanx ! I imagine this is the little outfit that Mary wears when she sneaks into a Captain D’s for lunch.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 8:11 pm [Reply]

#153 Sheila Sternwell – I see. I was unaware of that one. At any rate, Baldo is still playing into a whole lot of stupid stereotypes without really getting much humor value out of them, so yeah, I’m done.
CanuckDownSouth
July 10th, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

151-Sargon LynnCo does it to as many strips as they can. The fact that they think that enhances the reader’s experience as opposed to, say, multidimensional (or lately even one-dimensional) characters, life situations with a believable amount of difficulties, or a coherent continuity says it all, really.

But if DC explained coherent backstory/ continuity to LJ, that would explain a lot.
AeroSquid
July 10th, 2008 at 8:22 pm [Reply]

155. Muffaroo No….THIS is a zoot suit !

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3076/2656518671_3dd01d3836_o.jpg
Anonymous
July 10th, 2008 at 8:23 pm [Reply]

Good Lord somebody needs to call the ASPCA on Ferd’nand!

Spot the Frog: Um…are we starting the strip over again? If it suddenly became StF Classics, they need to change the title!
Anonymous
July 10th, 2008 at 8:29 pm [Reply]

142: Ha! We have just such a neighbor! Both the narcers and the narcees. Our “picture-perfect” neighborhood has a non-lawn-mower and another guy who (horrors!) leaves a motorcycle trailer parked in his driveway. Heavens to Betsy, the Neighborhood Association is fit to be tied.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 8:36 pm [Reply]

#161 Anonymous – You know, it’s a good thing I don’t live in a suburban area, because I would spend just about all of my free time intentionally screwing with the neighborhood association.
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 10th, 2008 at 8:39 pm [Reply]

Helena Handbasket @ 33: I just watched your video, and I was captivated. However, I was dismayed to see how few views you had. Perhaps if you advertised it differently… say, if you titled it “Hot babe with big boobs spreads legs on bed,” it would better appeal to the typical You~~Boob~~Tube viewer. (And, technically, it would be true.)
Steven
July 10th, 2008 at 8:42 pm [Reply]

9 chickweed lane

There is the old story of two jews meeting on a train, one of whom is reading a violently anti semitic paper. His friend asks “Why are you reading that?” His friend says “When I read the jewish press it is all about how bad things are, how people are falling away from the faith and intermarrying. In this newspaper we rule the world! It makes me feel much better.’

Edda needs to wise up. She makes her own choices, and needs to take her own consequences. I personally think she is better off without Amos, and Amos is better off without her.

As for Luann, I really think they need to rethink TJ. He has already burned down their rental. (You think the insurance company is not going to think Arson? ) or cut back on the payment? Luann may still be jailbait, but TJ isn’t the brightest bulb. (Do they make milliwatt bulbs?)

Is anyone following “the Meaning of Lila?”
Uncle Lumpy
July 10th, 2008 at 8:47 pm [Reply]

164 Steven –

I used to read a violently anti-semantic newspaper, but I got tired of all the punctuation errors.

What’s that? Oh, never mind.
Howabominable (aka Lindsey ^_^)
July 10th, 2008 at 8:49 pm [Reply]

#164 Steven – I am, but I’m not too interested in it. It’s yet another one of those, “I’m female and I like to drink and go to bars but I never, ever get laid, so I whine about it to my friends. Look, here’s another comic strip about how I haven’t had sex in the part year.” And to be honest, the web is FULL of comics like that. Some are funnier than others. But in the end it’s just whining about not getting laid.

I’ve only been following it for 5 months, so maybe I just happen to be reading a 5-month “transitional period” where absolutely nothing happens.
Sargon
July 10th, 2008 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

158: I was afraid of that. It’s interesting that they only seem to blinkify the eyes that are really easy to edit (large, facing forward). They could easily have also done Liz’s eyes in panel 2, plus the eyes of that random guy staring up at Liz’s neck in the same panel. I mean, if you’re going to creep the hell out of me, why do a half-assed job of it? Nowhere else in the FOOB world does anyone have just half an ass…
Steven
July 10th, 2008 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

@ uncle lumpy– Who was the editor of that anti semantic paper? e e cummings?

Reason I asked about MOL was it looks almost interesting, but not quite, and I was wondering if it was worth wasting time. I guess not.
AeroSquid
July 10th, 2008 at 8:54 pm [Reply]

Oh, Jeffy, Jeffy, Jeffy….you are so grounded !

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3202/2656585173_561bb71c16_o.jpg
Vince M
July 10th, 2008 at 9:28 pm [Reply]

130: Mister Doctor Cory – I’d take offense at your assessment of comics-readers, but…I don’t want any trouble.
AeroSquid
July 10th, 2008 at 9:35 pm [Reply]

Non Sequitor Mark Trail.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3144/2657505576_5925354325_o.jpg
Norm
July 10th, 2008 at 9:39 pm [Reply]

PANEL 2 OF FOOB: Look at Liz’s nose. It’s getting bigger! IT’S ALREADY HAPPENING. POTATO NOSE.
Norm
July 10th, 2008 at 9:40 pm [Reply]

I MEANT PANEL 4 sorry… can’t count.
No Longer Anonymous
July 10th, 2008 at 9:51 pm [Reply]

162: Commodore, you would definitely get your money’s worth out of our $41/mo Association dues! My husband got a good laugh from your response and he gave you a big “Power to the People” fist in the air.

(Once again, the Happy Curmodeoners are providing far more laughs than the poor deadline-hounded cartoonists.)

164: I’m following Meaning of Lila and Lila is basically a lazy selfish slacker. I hadn’t noticed a regular story until the recent sighting of a friend’s fiance smooching Another Woman at a club.

I’m still going to leave Lila on my Comics page because I do try to give a little business to the newbies. Usually once I get sick of a comic I’ll drop it and look for a couple others to add. If we don’t give them a little patronage online, they sure as hell won’t ever make it into the print world!
Talking Squirrel
July 10th, 2008 at 9:52 pm [Reply]

#113 Bats: “I second the nomination for Kelly Welly at the Foob photographer! Maybe SHE can make them “do something”… have sex…”

I third that request, just so we can see Kelly Welly, at the anteclimactic moment, crash the casserole of leftover poutine to the floor — causing Lizard to buck wildly and PornStache to be launched flailingly skyward.
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2008 at 10:05 pm [Reply]

#171 AeroSquid
Boxcars! that’s funny stuff there. Please keep it comming. More Moose, Mule!
PeteMoss
July 10th, 2008 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

#156 UL
I used to read an anti-climatic newspaper, but it just didn’t hold my attention.
AeroSquid
July 10th, 2008 at 10:09 pm [Reply]

176. PeteMoss. The rest of the ‘mudges are screaming: “Stop ! Your are only encouraging him to abuse his sweet new (and legally purchased) copy of PS3 !”

Okay.
Poteet
July 10th, 2008 at 10:16 pm [Reply]

# 40 Dingo — Per your dramatic Foob wedding recommendation of yesterthread, no one has ever equated me with Dustin Hoffman before. I’m so honored *sniff*

# 136 PeteMoss — Per yesterthread, your point about alcohol maybe not being enough for Foob wedding survival is well taken. I’m bringing a wee drap of chloral hydrate in case of emergency.
Doug Puthoff
July 10th, 2008 at 10:18 pm [Reply]

7-10

MW–Mary looks disturbingly like she’s going to a Jimmy Buffett concert.

FW–Congrats, Muff, for getting the references in Panel 1. You derserve a No-Prize!

PBS–Of course, since we know times the Crocs have come back, Rat will be as good as new tomorrow.

BB–old.

Monty–Cool, a Douglas Adams reference.
Windier E. Megatons
July 10th, 2008 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

It just occurred to me – maybe when Mary says she’s “in the mood for some seafood,” she means that Jeff and Ron have turned her off men and onto women…

…I need to go wash my brain, excuse me.
commodorejohn
July 10th, 2008 at 10:20 pm [Reply]

#174 No Longer Anonymous – Aw, I’m touched =)
AeroSquid
July 10th, 2008 at 10:58 pm [Reply]

Captain D’s Pleez !

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3065/2657665420_0f06002ea3_o.jpg
Egg
July 10th, 2008 at 11:14 pm [Reply]

Re: #39

“And then I laughed, really hard”
Hawkeye
July 10th, 2008 at 11:44 pm [Reply]

MW: Mary’s wearing a t-shirt now? I’m going to say now what I say to myself every time I see an old person try to dress young and hip.
“Eeeew.”
AeroSquid
July 10th, 2008 at 11:47 pm [Reply]

186: Hawkeye: A T-Shirt is considered ‘Young & Hip’ ? Well….I suppose if Mary wore a Butthole Surfers or ICP T-shirt…..mebbe.
CanuckDownSouth
July 10th, 2008 at 11:50 pm [Reply]

186: Aerosquid – well, yes, for those of MW’s age. Even high-waisted “mom jeans” are unthinkable. A knit, uncollared shirt – what *is* the world coming to?!
Red Greenback
July 10th, 2008 at 11:51 pm [Reply]

Worth: Again?
AeroSquid
July 11th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

No more t-shirts, Mary ! Act your age !

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3258/2657861062_9e3288837f_o.jpg
LTBF
July 11th, 2008 at 12:06 am [Reply]

Friday’s Foob is up on Yahoo! comics. I can’t quite figure out why anthony is holding the garden hose, but seems to be greeting John. Did he just walk up and pick up the hose?

My wife never had any major problems planning our weding. Of course, she had the advantage of marrying me and not anthony.
P
July 11th, 2008 at 12:10 am [Reply]

FC: Dolly and Billy’s fashions provided by:
Old 1958 department store ad!
Red Greenback
July 11th, 2008 at 12:23 am [Reply]

Worth: Again?..again
Invisible Me
July 11th, 2008 at 12:29 am [Reply]

186 Aerosquid – actually, yes. My mother wouldn’t have been caught dead in a T-shirt – she would have thought of it as cross-dressing and totally inappropriate for a woman her age. She’d have been a bit older than Mary Worth is now, but not by much.
Mibbitmaker
July 11th, 2008 at 12:40 am [Reply]

Early Friday Comics:

FOOB: Or how ’bout this, Blandie?: Not get married at all. Or go back in time, never break up in the first place in 2000, then maybe the 2 of you wouldn’t have disgusted us enough to hate this furshlugginer storyline so much!
Having said all that, I liked the punchline today.

FW: “The Orange Doorhinges”! We’ve got that one covered, Coach B.
Poteet
July 11th, 2008 at 12:41 am [Reply]

# 193 Invisible Me — Yay, I’m young and hip! *waves cane enthusiastically*
Helena Handbasket
July 11th, 2008 at 12:49 am [Reply]

#163, Spider-brick: Oh my! I suppose that would drive the views up, wouldn’t it?
Shave Ezra
July 11th, 2008 at 12:53 am [Reply]

If you haven’t read it yet – you HAVE to check out Friday’s PBS!
Uncle Lumpy
July 11th, 2008 at 1:14 am [Reply]

Friday’s PBS
Gold-Digging Nanny
July 11th, 2008 at 1:19 am [Reply]

Bats :[ — I can’t wait to see the next issue of Charterstone Fashion Quarterly!

Phantom: Mrs. Phantom seems to be as baffled as I am by the lack of storyline.

Luann:

Dear Greg Evans,

TJ is not hot.

I just thought I should bring this to your attention.

Sincerely yours,

Gold-Digging Nanny
Dingo
July 11th, 2008 at 1:31 am [Reply]

Alright, I’m gay, gay as a goose, and I’m tellin’ ya no one but Mary Worth would find TJ hot. I always thought he was supposed to be Michael Jackson.

And PBS is now my favorite comic strip.
LTBF
July 11th, 2008 at 1:33 am [Reply]

For once, people who don’t read Funky are envious of those who do.
Shoebox
July 11th, 2008 at 1:33 am [Reply]

Rat goes to Heaven…and is cranky because he’s not getting instant service. Pastis, I love you.
LTBF
July 11th, 2008 at 1:37 am [Reply]

Maybe next they’ll meet Grandpa Keane.
yeff
July 11th, 2008 at 1:48 am [Reply]

(re: today’s Sally Forth)

Memo to self: Make sure to avoid Sally in the lunchroom for the next week or two, at least.
Gold-Digging Nanny
July 11th, 2008 at 1:48 am [Reply]

Thurs/Fri A3G — Wait a minute! Isn’t that Tenzin, the white Buddhist monk?

Friday comics

FW — Um, the Orange Ogres? That wasn’t so hard. You know what’s also not hard? Giving him a more humiliating color. Like, say, pink? Come on, Batiuk!

H&L — Speaking of color screwups … Probably a good idea not to paint your parents’ house when you’re going through an emo stage.

MW — Speaking of color screwups … It’s nice to see Mary’s butcher has a sense of humor and has labeled her chicken livers “shrimp.”
Panel two: “So many fond memories of eating there with Jeff! I wonder what he’s doing now?” — I’ve got $5 on “Having a sing-along with Billy Big-Mouth Bass.”

PBS has Masky McDeath? PBS has Masky McDeath!
bats :[
July 11th, 2008 at 1:55 am [Reply]

TGIFunnies!

MW: for god’s sake, can you really have misty water-color memories when you haven’t been together for only two weeks?
This is driving me nuts.
I gotta go look at AeroSquid’s “fishstick sammich” again…

PBS: oh. This is just too good.

FOOB: watch out for that hose…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/9545446@N07/2658072490/sizes/o/
Dingo
July 11th, 2008 at 2:00 am [Reply]

Hey, Mary! Here’s a SHRIMP for your scampi. Might take your mind off of Dr. Jeff.

Woof.
Dicky
July 11th, 2008 at 2:01 am [Reply]

164, Steven: I follow “The Meaning of Lila.” I started reading it a few years ago while working in a call center, so as a working strip, it was a little easier to identify with than Dilbert. And it was in the paper and it’s harder to avoid strips in the paper.
It amuses me enough, but lately I have been confused by Boyd’s character and can’t figure out if he’s gay or not anymore or if ever.
True Fable
July 11th, 2008 at 2:03 am [Reply]

#206 bats :[ – omg, I love the Foobparody – the Foobery, I guess it is. That is PRICELESS!
bats :[
July 11th, 2008 at 2:03 am [Reply]

207. Dingo, I think you’ve talked Mary into her first tat…
kippetje2000
July 11th, 2008 at 2:06 am [Reply]

FW: Coach Bull, according to my Photoshop colour palette, that ain’t orange, that’s diarrhea brown…Good luck rhyming that!
Canaduck
July 11th, 2008 at 2:11 am [Reply]

Very nice, #2.

:D
kippetje2000
July 11th, 2008 at 2:11 am [Reply]

bats :[ If Mary got that tat on her *ehum*, she’d have to mow the seagrass first, yes? uh, eww wwww;(p

FC: Yes, Dolly. In the backyard, next to that rusty iron fence
http://www.flickr.com/photos/16097843@N00/355728387/
or Jeffy, Billy and PJ in a few years…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EomV8GsjU74
“If that bed was made of straw, and that bed was a trampoline, and if Billy were a goat….”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=psdKDqgyigw&feature=related
!
Spotted HØrse, Jungle Steed
July 11th, 2008 at 2:31 am [Reply]

#207 Dingo: Scampirriffic! Hahaha!

#206 bats:[ Ha! The thought of Patterson penises is an unhappy one. Thanks for sparing us the sight of the danglies of John “Trainman” Patterson and Anthony “Swinging Cod” Caine!

PBS: Way to bring it, Pastis! Masky McDeath…snrk!

GT: Thrusting, diagonal, pell mell sports action! Er, I mean, thrusting, diagonal, pell mell weak ass tapper back to the mound!

RMMRSA: Is that “Whoop Whoop” or “Waaah wahhh”?
True Fable
July 11th, 2008 at 2:33 am [Reply]

Okay, let me get in some snark, no doubt only minutes before a change of threads.

A3G I’m surprised it’s taken this long to get caught – what am I saying, this is Apartment 3 G, after all.
C’haft Thank God the son is smirking as a child in panel two, because I would really hate it if he wasn’t there, and she sold the comics for what the comic has on its cover, as I fully expected and dreaded.
(WT)DT (technically) two words: dog-shaped smokestack!
FC “Yeah, and Daddy also said if he had to listen to you tattle one more time, you were going to go to the Caine’s house and do basement time!”
FBoFW Is Lynn even paying any attention to what she’s drawing? Lord knows she’s not paying attention to the plot or characters or human nature or, like, the 21st century, but geez… c’mon everybody, let’s sing! “Yank my doodle, it’s a dandy…!”
And yeah, John. Fun for you, you asshat. Not so fun for April who has to endure the meltdown within.
FW The Orange Slushies? The Orange Kitties? The Orange YouGladToSeeMes? The Orange Juices?
JP Sam, instead of spending money on a new set of golf clubs, suppose you spend it on a PLOT and better DIALOGUE? Oh, and a fuckin’ calendar for Woody would be just peachy too.
MT Send Kelly out to goose the moose! Why not!
PBS Oh My God, I LOVE this. Pastis, you deserve a Ninja Goat of Honor for this, and so do the strips whose characters are guesting lately.
RMMD Whoop! Whoop!
S4th I thought Ted didn’t want to have another baby, or was that before Sally said something about his being virile?
S-M Panel One just looks… well, I would say odd but the image of Spiderman swinging through the suburbs looks just as strange so never mind.
Zits This sounds so familiar. Oh yeah, ungrateful teenage jerk wants money from mom who will eventually buckle in and give him what he wants. Right.
Mibbitmaker
July 11th, 2008 at 2:37 am [Reply]

More 7/11 (minus the Slurpee):

9CL: Don’t look now, ladies, but your ship is sinking…

Agnes: Humankind has a River of Thoughts, eh? Not exactly at flood stage, is it?

A3G: You don’t know the half of it, O Great Printer and Drawer of “Superfan”!

Curtis: Not so much broke lotsa girls’ hearts as annoyed one and rebuffed another ad nauseum.

DT: The only scary thing about that beast is that it looks like it’s half-dog, half-bear.

Garfield: Well, the plaster pirate had it coming!

MT: Hey, moose… if you must go on a rampage as a result of what happens next — and this is VERY IMPORTANT — go after Kelly Welly!

MW: Thought-Bubble Mary: Panel 1: Oh, you’re entitled, alright. Extremely entitled. In general terms. Honestly, that ego must come with the last name.
Panel 2: Yeah, sure, now you care about Dr. Debasement. You sure couldn’t be bothered when he was shamefully groveling over the phone. And we know you require him groveling before the Almighty Worthy-Worth, Mare.

Ghost-Who,-Just-”Ghost-Who”: You mean… you’re dead? Like a ghost? That’s funny, so’s the guy in the stripey-butt costume! …Well, except for the fact that neither of you are actually DEAD!

Ghost-Whose-Subject-Matter-Deserves-More-Consideration-Than-The-Above: That Katrina was like being one of pimp Osama bin-Laden’s call girls.

Popeye: Okay, the characters are just babbling now.

PC: “You’re doomed because you’re just cartoon characters. You couldn’t possibly become actual president. Have you ever experienced the Pogo administration? The Alfred E. Neuman administration? The Howard the Duck administration? The Opus/Bill the Cat administration? Of course not!” (Only problem with this argument is that every president since JFK has pretty much been a cartoon character)

S-M: Um… I hate to pile it all on you at such a bad time, Spidey, but….. uh… there’s an angry mob at the door right now….

Ziggy: Hey, that’s the stuff Will Ferrell was hawking on SNL about a decade or so ago. DO NOT FEED YOUR DOG WITH THIS!!
Mel
July 11th, 2008 at 2:40 am [Reply]

Foob: I find the strip to be more palatable if I imagine that Granthony is referring to his relationship with John, not Liz, in the final panel. “So Dr. P, do you think you should make our illicit homosexual affair official and leave the women in the dust?” “Nah, it’s more fun to watch them think they’re important.”
Frank Parsnip
July 11th, 2008 at 3:29 am [Reply]

MF: Oh, no! A broken light bulb… Compared to the 5mg of mercury in an average fluorescent bulb (about the same size as the tip of a ballpoint pen), the average household thermometer or thermostat has a hell of a lot more. I find it funny that so-called “conservatives” are the first ones to scream the mantra of “personal responsibility” but suddenly start whining like little bitches (by this, I literally mean female dogs and nothing else) the second a proposed change in lifestyle might reduce by one iota the massive energy chug-a-lug contest America has engaged in.

A3G: If this goes the way I hope, Jack Davis will go into the gallery, steal the remainder of the petty cash, and try to blame it on the “lowlifes” he saw in the alley.

MW: Yes, if Mary is eating alone at home, she’s entitled to pretend she’s at the Bum Boat. Might hide the taste of the frozen edibles she’s got labled “SHRIMP” or “VEGETABLES” to differentiate them from the other mounds of gray slush she’s had kicking around in there since Mr. Worth passed away.

Jugs Parker: New golf clubs? No, just go buy a new joke. This “Dewey Cheatham” thing is only funny anymore when Click and Clack do it.

Archie: What’s Archie doing wrong? The answers could make a fine Slylock Fox strip, given that Archie is swinging spastically at a spot literally several feet away from the golf ball. My guess is that Sam Driver will get Archie as his caddy.

MT: I like that this whole trip by Kelly Welly into the wilderness seems to be an expedition aimed at pissing off wildlife. Reminds me of how Steve Irwin used to go into the outback and just grab big animals that would bite him: “Naaaaaaooooww look at this goana, with his shaaaaap teeth sawin’ roight inna me aaaaaam.” Yep, a bit of “Crocodile Hunter” mixed with “Jackass”, with Roger playing Steve-O to Kelly Welly’s Knoxville.

But a moose attack? Yes, it does happen: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=0h39HvwrTTQ

But if Kelly Welly is lucky, a bear might come along: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Ap4A2A_3WJY&feature=related

Sex Organ, M.D.:

Pluggers: You’re a Plugger if you completely forget how the world works. Aside from demanding penny postcards decades after they disappeared, Pluggers are the repositories for a whole bunch of quaint anachronisms. Pluggers serving in the military routinely request allotments of “potato-masher” grenades and ammunition suitable for a Springfield rifle. Pluggers going to movie theaters leave in a huff when they find out that “talkies” rather than silent films are being offered. Pluggers eating in restaurants scream bloody murder when the vegetables are cooked in “funny” ways, i.e., not boiled.

Slylock Fox: That mosquito would be a lot more threatening if the colorists hadn’t made the dripping blood into something that looks like snot.

DtM: The fact that Dennis is talking about manners of any kind indicates that there is no menacement to be found in today’s strip.

Phatnom: Given what oil prices are like, it’s a bit hard to imagine abandoned oil rigs sitting all over the ocean. But then it’s also hard to imagine a woman remaining married to a guy who wears the same tights in the tropical heat 24/7.

Blondie: Given that it was only a few months ago that Elmo was hypnotized by Blondie’s caboose, today’s conversation seems just a bit out of place. Yes, it is fortunate that he started liking cookies at 3, but what has that to do with anything?
Frank Parsnip
July 11th, 2008 at 3:32 am [Reply]

Me(218) on Sex Organ, M.D.: I thought I would have a comment on Max Mallory’s activities, but I was left speechless by the “whooop” coming from that evidently very happy motorcycle cop.
JBHale
July 11th, 2008 at 3:47 am [Reply]

Does anybody care about soccer?
Never teh Bride
July 11th, 2008 at 5:53 am [Reply]

All I want is for Anthony’s nose to stop changing size mid-strip…is that too much to ask? Make it big, make it small, make it any size at all, but just make it one dang size!
MrsIrB
July 11th, 2008 at 6:04 am [Reply]

9cl:

I’m really glad I’m married. I am now going to endeavor to have only married or hopelessly single friends, so I will never, ever have to risk saying, “Hey, this is just like that 9CL plot in 2008.”

As a matter of fact, I may attempt to introduce legislation banning single dating people from Northern VA.
One-eyed Wolfdog
July 11th, 2008 at 7:32 am [Reply]

Man, I’m usually not too keen on the self-referential stuff, it’s been done too much, but how much WIN is there in PBS today? There is a lot of win there, my friends.
mojo
July 11th, 2008 at 7:43 am [Reply]

#161 Anonymous: A MOTORCYCLE TRAILER? Sweet merciful heavens, what sort of crackhouse slum are you living in?!? Sounds like the sort of place Alan and his hop-head clients from Apartment 3-G would live. After they fail their cartoon character drug test and get kicked off the strip, that is….

In my younger days I had to cover many an upper-class suburban town council meeting as a reporter. I can’t count the number of times the head of the council would say something like “Okay, that’s that. Any more business?” when the meeting was wrapping up. Whereupon some notorious local busybody would always raise their hand and the whole room would just openly GROAN.

(We’re talking measuring their neighbor’s lawn with a ruler. Repeatedly. And keeping records of those measurements. Including 8X10 full-color glossies with the circles and the arrows and the little paragraphs on the back of each one. It boggled the mind.)
Smarmy Duke
July 11th, 2008 at 7:45 am [Reply]

Was their a wardrobe mix-up? Shouldn’t Mary Worth being the old lady hat and the soccer ball be wearing something less geriatric?
Wendy
July 11th, 2008 at 7:48 am [Reply]

You know there’s been a paradigm shift when the first reaction to a Mary strip as lame as this one is, woo hoo, that ghastly t-shirt is going to be the subject of a Comics Curmudgeon commentary! I love that I almost prefer the strips to be horrible because I can’t wait for the belly laughs that ensue when I come here.
Shoshi
July 11th, 2008 at 7:50 am [Reply]

It appears that Joe Giella has a better idea of what scampi is than Karen Moy does.

Reminds me of the mismatch between diaglog and artwork in A3G. It amused me when the drug chick was talking about not being able to suppress giggles, while both she and Alan had expressions that couldn’t have been more lacking in mirth or silliness. They really need to get a new drug (or artist).
dimestore lipstick
July 11th, 2008 at 7:55 am [Reply]

Bizarro
No, Piraro–Binary gibberish.
John C Fremont
July 11th, 2008 at 8:00 am [Reply]

PBS – The bestest strip ever!

A3G – Hey, for once I called it. I said we’d have to wait until Friday to see Jack Davis lock the gallery. Great. I can’t get a handle on much of anything that has to do with life, but I can predict the actions of a minor character in a lousy serial strip. I want to join Pastis and Rat now.

MW – GAAAGGHHHH!!! (Sorry. Just had to get that out of my system.)

Phantom – Weren’t they leaving just yesterday?

FW – Um, Orange Moose?

JP – Thank you, Gloria!

DT – Is that dog standing in front of a butt?
dreadedcandiru2
July 11th, 2008 at 8:19 am [Reply]

FBorFW: Today, Lynn bravely kills off any lingering sympathy people might have had for John and Anthony. How nice of her to use a bazooka to kill bacteria.

FW: So world-class muttonhead Bull has to come up with a team name starting with the word “Orange”, eh? Watch him call it the Orange Tangerines or something.

‘Shaft: Jeff gets to smirk at his Evil Ukrainian Mother because the comics she wanted to turf are worth more than all her old furniture. He’d better enjoy that because it’s the last smile he’ll ever have.

9CL: I’d feel more for Janice if she hadn’t promiksed to destroy herself and blame it on Edda.
The Ghost of Jarrod
July 11th, 2008 at 8:49 am [Reply]

PBS has officially transcended win, and moved on to a new plane of even more win.

Masky McDeath! Who saw that coming?
Justafoob
July 11th, 2008 at 8:50 am [Reply]

Men are evil.

We get it LJ.

Have Liz find a girlfriend and complete the feminazi transition.
Harry Worth
July 11th, 2008 at 8:51 am [Reply]

Gosh.

I wonder what Dr. Jeff is doing?

I wonder if he has finished dinner?

I wonder if he is enjoying his apple pie?

I wonder if he has made ala mode yet?
Doug Puthoff
July 11th, 2008 at 8:51 am [Reply]

7-11

PBS–I hope Rat and Steve meet Aldo K. while they’re among the dead. Of course, nobody but MW or CC readers would understand the reference.

GT–I was hoping the pitching would drop that last grounder. It would symbolize that this strip has been dropping the ball for the past decade.
Ratt
July 11th, 2008 at 8:57 am [Reply]

Isn’t that Farley looking around one of the clouds?

I hope that Pastis and Ratt me all the FC grandparents.

They can all be standing there with a big plate of steaming prime rib when Gwampah kicks off the eve of the wedding.

They can all sit and laugh and laugh at Liz.
Wally Winkerbean
July 11th, 2008 at 8:58 am [Reply]

The Orangewomen?

The Orange Tide?

The Orange Juicers?

The Orange Concentrators?

The Orange Free Stateswomen?

The Orange County Gazateers?

The Orange Future Cancer Sufferers?
Groddeck
July 11th, 2008 at 9:08 am [Reply]

I’m having a complete brain freeze. What is the Masky McDeath figure in PBS a reference to?
Little Guy
July 11th, 2008 at 9:11 am [Reply]

199: There’s a method to Bernice’s madness.

PBS: Thank you, CC. We don’t get Funky Cancerbean, and, if it wasn’t for you, this wouldn’t have been the ROFL it deserves.

9 ChickHOY!Yay! Lane: Bow chicka bow bow.
tb4000
July 11th, 2008 at 9:17 am [Reply]

Luann: Well, this can’t end well.
dimestore lipstick
July 11th, 2008 at 9:27 am [Reply]

Groddeck

Masky was the reaper of Lisa’s soul in Funky Cancerbean:

http://joshreads.com/?p=1276
The Spectacular Spider-Brick
July 11th, 2008 at 9:28 am [Reply]

Kelly Welly: mind you, møøse bites kan be pretti nasti…

MW: God damn, I am sick of seeing Mary moon over the man she kicked to the curb for pointing out that she was cheating on him. Mainly ’cause I’m sick of that flashback-bubble of them toasting each other with a glass of Metamucil while Bigmouth Billy Bass looks on approvingly.

PBS: Pastis must lurk here. There’s no other explanation.

Stripeybutt: My, but oil rigs have lovely, homey kitchens! Not at all like the industrial, communal galleys one might expect on an industrial, communal oil rig.

Pluggers: Ha ha ha! That’s #1!

RMMRSA: Whoop whoop! There it is!
The Mighty Monarch
July 11th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

FOOB: I think that’s the first sensible suggestion—hell, first suggestion, sensible or otherwise—that Anthony’s made about the wedding.

FW: Seriously, Bull? DUH.

JP: I hope the Car Talk guys are getting royalties for every DC&H reference.

MW: What’s Jeff doing now? If the last couple weeks are any indication, he’s staring into the distance, imagining your face in a circle.
Groddeck
July 11th, 2008 at 9:34 am [Reply]

Thanks, Dimestore Lipstick.
Professor Fate
July 11th, 2008 at 9:37 am [Reply]

PBS: I wonder what Tom B. thinks about this – I even laughed at this.

FOOB: Ugly people with ugly souls all of whom look alike – I mean I don’t much care for suburbaia but I know it’s not quite this souless a hell.

FW: How about “The Clockwork Oranges”?
The Party Sim
July 11th, 2008 at 9:40 am [Reply]

PBS: Why do I want Masky McDeath to whip off that mask and reveal himself as a croc? “Hee hee! You Ded! Tonite we eat like keengs….”
AeroSquid
July 11th, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

Dear Mr. Pastis,

You are hereby ordered to cease and desist use of the beloved Funky Winkerbean character ‘Masky McDeath’. Due to your insensitivity, Mr. Batuik has become extremly depressed, forcing him to kill off more major characters.

Sincerely,

Otis P. Smegurgler
FunkCO Legal Division
Paul1963
July 11th, 2008 at 9:51 am [Reply]

FW, 7/11: “Orange Crush,” Bull, say it with me. “Orange Crush.” Name it for the drink, name it for the song, whatever.

I’ve seen right-wingers complain about the risks of broken CFLs on car boards before. “Hey, if you break one of those things, you’re gonna have to have a hazmat team come to clean it up! Them damn tree-huggers is gonna poison all of us!”
To which I say, “When was the last time you broke a light bulb? Because I think the last time I did was sometime in the ’90s, and honestly I’m not the most agile guy in the world.” It’s right up there with saying you must have a 5000-pound SUV or a full-size pickup as a daily driver for safety reasons–do you really think you’re going to get in a head-on collision every time you get behind the wheel?
(Full disclosure: I own two 4-cyl, 30-mpg cars and two V8 fullsize cars from the 1960s. Just so y’all know I’m not part of the cars-are-evil crowd.)
Mel
July 11th, 2008 at 9:52 am [Reply]

217: Mel — I have been using the name “Mel” here for a year or so. Are you a new Mel or a returning Mel?

What’s the etiquette on this sort of thing?
cheech wizard
July 11th, 2008 at 10:04 am [Reply]

247/The Party Sim – “Tonight we eat like keengs!” I love it!
Franklin Delano Bluth
July 11th, 2008 at 10:05 am [Reply]

A zoot suit is less about chains and pocket watches and more about how zooty it makes you feel inside.

Look at TJ’s smug look in the final panel, pure zoot.

Also, I enjoy the outrage over what is and isn’t a zoot suit, yet no one (myself included) seems to care that about the statutory-rapey undertones.
gkl
July 11th, 2008 at 10:08 am [Reply]

MW: I’m not sure what Jeff is doing now, Mary, but it’s probably 19 and ends in an “i.”
man behind the curtain
July 11th, 2008 at 10:09 am [Reply]

I earlier posted this on the wrong day

GT — Wonderful. First we have all of the anti-immigrants chasing Elmer Vargas out of town. Now, in the clutch with the game on the line, Rosen the Jew meekly taps back to the pitcher for the final out of Milford’s season. I can see the Milford mob now marching on his house.

MW — Mary, don’t forget to eat your vegetables.

A3G — Jack, if it’s lowlife you’re worried about, wait until you see what’s inside the gallery.
Gadge Cubic, Mole Preener
July 11th, 2008 at 10:14 am [Reply]

The Orange You Glad This Isn’t a Moldy Lame Puns?
Drs. Howard, Fine and Howard
July 11th, 2008 at 10:22 am [Reply]

242 Mighty Monarch: The Law Firm of Dewey Cheatem and Howe goes back at least as far as the Three Stooges.
Edgy DC
July 11th, 2008 at 10:24 am [Reply]

Mary’s wearing her Pablo Cruise 1978 tour shirt.

Strangely though, the palm trees are getting closer together from frame to frame.
Artist formerly known as Ben
July 11th, 2008 at 10:34 am [Reply]

7/11

MT: Kelly, it’s more than a little rude to keep calling it an old moose. Judging by the lack of antlers, this is a female moose. A lady need never tell.

MW: Well Mary, my guess is “tearfully masturbating to Murder She Wrote” reruns. You could always call to find out for sure.

FW: You could call them the Orange Alerts. Or do you need to get Homeland Security’s permission for that.

H&L: The house and the paint on the brush are white. The paint in the can and on the grass is black. That just makes me sad.

Blondie: Dagwood’s daughter is named cookie. Elmo’s an early bloomer.

BC: The last panel kind of reminds me of “The Far Side.”

MC: Oh this is gonna go nowhere good. But it will be fun to watch.

PBS: Oh, this iis too good. Lisa Moore has company.

GA: That’s great, Rufus. The gaffer already TOLD YOU the director was the voice of Chef Meowrice. If the whole point is just to show that Rufus is a moron, I think that’s been conveyed at this point.

Phantom: And so we take our melancholy leave of Aaron Neville.

JP: If Gloria were standing that close to me while I thought about golf, my seven wood would make an early appearance. Guess she just can’t wait for Steve to get in before she starts with the inappropriate.

Popeye: Generally when an animal is the last of its kind, extinction is a given. So the conservation angle goes right out the window here.

S-M: I used to think that the police on the sixties Batman show were inept. But seeing the Vulture fly three inches off the ground through the subway system and still not get apprehended… Well, by comparison I can only marvel at their professionalism.
benro
July 11th, 2008 at 10:43 am [Reply]

FW – How about the Orange Whips?

JP – The Dewey Cheatam joke was lame the first time they used it. The seventh time is beyond pathetic. Do you think Sam will make it to Phoenix by December?
Froborr
July 11th, 2008 at 10:50 am [Reply]

Popeye: Generally when an animal is the last of its kind, extinction is a given. So the conservation angle goes right out the window here.

Actually, if they just keep her alive a few more years, they can probably clone her.

Too bad it’s a female… you can make females from males but not vice versa.
dimestore lipstick
July 11th, 2008 at 10:51 am [Reply]

Formerly Ben–
My thought on reading today’s Blondie was: “Liking Cookie’s what?”
mattt
July 11th, 2008 at 10:54 am [Reply]

MW Nothing anyone writes today will be close to the awesomeness that is “Ah, The Bum Boat!”
Calico
July 11th, 2008 at 11:02 am [Reply]

#215 – Well, you wish for a new thread simply didn’t happen. Time for the Olive Oil gyspy spell!

Mary Worth must be big on generics – She buys Acme brand dog chow, “Shrimp” and “Vegetables.”
Here in Canada, Aspirin is just that – “Aspirin” brand Aspirin.

Now she can start the Scampi with “Butter” and serve it with some “Pasta.”
CanuckDownSouth
July 11th, 2008 at 11:03 am [Reply]

Twilight of the FOOBs brings a Friday gift – an apparent opening to a change in the steamrolling plot, where Lizabeth ‘n Annntony decide that their Twue Wuv is more important than any ceremonial trappings, bring an officiant and The Magic Dress to Grandpa Jim’s place, and have Iris witness their vows while Francoise jumps and giggles. It would still be the bland leading the bland, and I wouldn’t like it, but it would be different from what the Coffee Stalkers have been expecting.

Unfortunately, the great LynnCo has spoken, and their will be catering by Anne, flowers by Laurence, and so on. It is the wisdom of LynnCo, and therefore must be perfect. Any failure to see that is a failure on the reader’s part, who should therefore be banned from the privilege of seeing The Best Canadian Literature Ever.
Calico
July 11th, 2008 at 11:05 am [Reply]

#257 – I know-it’s like the drunk joke at the party that isn’t really a joke. Ha, ha.

I much prefer “Amanda Huginkiss” and “The Golden River” by I. P. Daily. (old and juvenile but still better than JP jokes)
The Mighty Monarch
July 11th, 2008 at 11:10 am [Reply]

#254 – Drs. Howard, Fine and Howard. Indeed, it’s an old joke. Click and Clack certainly didn’t invent it, but it is the name of their real-life corporation.

Also, one can never have too many Car Talk shout-outs.
Calico
July 11th, 2008 at 11:17 am [Reply]

Oh God – Anthony is asking John to elope with him.
This explains everything.
cheech wizard
July 11th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

PBS – Pastis has done some pretty far-fetched stories, but having Rat go to Heaven exceeds even my willingness to suspend belief.

Pluggers – Pluggers are people who still go to the Post Office.

Phantom – Ok, so Big Black Wrench Dude lives in isolation on this oil platform, he hasn’t seen another soul in ages, and he can live off all the fish that gather around it like an artificial reef. So WHERE THE FUCK DID DIANA GET A GODDAMN GREEN SALAD FROM!?!?! Huh? Answer me that, Ghost-who-strains credibility? This guy makes the Easter Bunny seem like gripping realism.

DtM – Henry sure looks happy. He’s probably daydreaming that his hot dog is Dennis, tied to a spit and slowly roasted over the open coals.
Big Bob
July 11th, 2008 at 11:28 am [Reply]

Oh for heaven’s sake, am I the only one who knows that “seafood” is a code word in the gay community for hot, girl-on-girl sex? Go Mary! And pls send pics when available.
Tom Bombadil
July 11th, 2008 at 11:38 am [Reply]

FW: Isn’t Bull a football coach? How could he not remember Denver’s “Orange Crush” defense?

MC: I don’t get the “Source” joke. Someone please un-densify me.
StoutHearted
July 11th, 2008 at 12:16 pm [Reply]

Anthony’s transformation into Mr. Patterson seems almost complete. I have a feeling that Anthony will miss the wedding due to a sudden interest in setting up a train set.
Mele
July 11th, 2008 at 12:22 pm [Reply]

#248 – My bad… “Mel” is one of my standard handles when I’m posting on boards I’m not a member of.
Niall
July 11th, 2008 at 12:41 pm [Reply]

154. Jamus: Every time you mention Cassandra with “sticky fingers” I have a rather different mental image than what you mean. (I think I really need a girlfriend…)

171. AeroSquid: that new dialogue has considerably improved the readability of Mark Trail.

189. AeroSquid: GYAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! I recoiled violently from that while at work, and had to bite down a scream.

..great job! :)

195. Poteet: You’re young of mind and heart, your hips were fine that I could see in meetup photos, and you’re fine in anything. :)

234. Doug Puthoff: locally, that PBS strip is only going to make people scratch heads, as no papers here print FW. Nor MW, so an Aldo reference would be equally lost on them. So, like 238. Little Guy, I’m indebted to CC for the laugh this generated.

241. SSB: HAHA!! Dammit, why didn’t I think of that quote?? Oh, a crossover would be heavenly!

256. AfkaBen: I knew someone was going to read it as “Cookie” in Blondie. And on MC, this time I can sympathise with Jeff a bit. :)

259. dimestore lipstick: maybe that was also a typo and was meant to be licking Cookie’s. No predicate necessary.

268. Tom Bombadil: just that the receptionist is so completely un-geeky, and never dares even approach such “popular” movies like Star Wars, that not only is she not aware that the concept is called The Force, but believes it’s called something else – and doens’t even really care.
queek
July 11th, 2008 at 1:13 pm [Reply]

266: Kelp.
Shoshi
July 11th, 2008 at 1:40 pm [Reply]

142 The Mighty Monarch — Yeah, but I guess they’d have to kidnap Granpa for the elopement.
Anonymous
July 12th, 2008 at 11:44 am [Reply]

=v= Mary Worth: Does anyone else get the impression that Karen Moy has just gone through a totally mutual breakup that was totally mutual?
Glinda the Good
July 12th, 2008 at 5:33 pm [Reply]

Are you a good Mel, or a bad Mel?
Carly
July 20th, 2008 at 12:07 pm [Reply]

I dunno, Josh, Mary’s at home alone….she made the effort to mention this…I think seafood might be code for-

oh, ew.

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Mary Worth in: Dinner for one, tears for two

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